My chains are gone…I’ve been set free – those words are part of the chorus of a newer version of the song Amazing Grace. And technically, it’s referring to the way Jesus’ death set all believers free from their sin (which is super meaningful to me too).

But you know what, it’s exactly how I’m feeling right now.

This morning, February 21st, 2012, I made the final payment on my $64,000 credit card debt.

If you’ve known me for awhile, you know it’s been a long hard journey. There were times I struggled to make the payment, and it nearly tore my marriage apart. (You can read about that here.)

If this is the first time you’ve come across my site, I’ll fill you in quickly…

After having 3 kids in 4 years, I was lost. A mom, to be sure, but still not sure of where I was going, or where I even wanted to go. I was bored. I was lonely, and I was tired of living on a strict budget (3 kids eat A LOT).

I was a substitute teacher for awhile – but it was draining. Kids missed me and wouldn’t let me out of their sight when we all got home. The house was never clean, meals were a chore, and I was spent in more ways than one.

To end the monotony I started mystery shopping. I loved it. It got me out of the house, and let me spend money. The problem? I would only have a set amount to spend – and I never, ever abided by it. I would submit my receipts, knowing I would only be reimbursed for the set amount. I figured with the money I was being paid for the shops on top of the allotment would cover it.

It didn’t.

And I didn’t stop spending.

It made me feel alive. It made me feel like I had awesome “stuff.” But in the end, it made me feel empty.

And when I realized that it was really piling up, I started to panic. And I spent more.

When I finally stopped, I was $64,000 deep in credit card debt, spread across 5 cards.

My husband had no idea – and I wanted it to stay that way until it was paid off. I worked, and worked, and worked – for what he thought was peanuts. He was annoyed at how much I was working.

I had it paid down to $48,000 when he found out. It wasn’t pretty.

And it wasn’t easy – but we worked it out. And I kept working.

And, while I am super proud of myself, I have to give all the credit to God. He got me through this in so many ways.

He set me free, and he paid my debt. (The sin one AND the actual one).

So, now that the debt is gone, it’s time to unveil my newest project.

If you saw my interview over at Lifebyme.com, I briefly mentioned that once the debt is paid off that I want to travel.

But I don’t just want to travel. I want to see the world.

You can follow that journey here…

And I’d love to hear your debt stories. Come on, leave a comment – tell me I’m not the only one…

I’ve been at this whole internet biz thing for 5 and a half years now. And every year I see the same thing. As the year winds down, so do many businesses.

That’s not to say that people are letting their businesses fizzle out because of the holiday season – but that people tend to worry less about their biz stuff because they want to spend time with family etc.

I get that – I feel the same way.

But at the same time, I see a lot of missed opportunity. Instead of the starting out the year with something new and fresh, a lot of entrepreneurs just decide to wait and START the refresh at the beginning of the year.

For me, this is kind of like my yearly ritual of decluttering (though, technically, I declutter multiple times a year…). I have this thing that my house, my business, my life have to be decluttered before the new year begins. I don’t want any of the old junk or baggage coming with me into the freshness of the first part of a new year.

Admittedly, the beginning of a new year is just a date. But it’s a chance to get a fresh start on several levels.

I recently did a redo of my friend Scott Power‘s website. He’s a super smart guy who has the very best financial advice. (Did I mention he was in one of the Pepsi Max 2010 Super Bowl commercials? Oh, and he played Matthew McConaughey’s dad in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past! How cool is that?)

But besides being a super smart guy with some seriously cool street cred, he has a website. With the aforementioned awesome financial advice. But it was boring. And it didn’t represent Scott at all.

That’s the original look over there to the right. Looks professional, easy to read and dull (no offense, Scott… ).

I got lucky with this one, because Scott wasn’t really sure what he wanted. He didn’t have clearly defined goals or preconceived notions, and that made my job a whole lot easier.

Here’s what I came up with:

The pic is less “professional” as pics go – but it’s WAY more accurate for Scott’s personality.

That was the one sticking point we had on the design. Scott had this to say, “The only think I’m not sure of is the pic in the header. I have headshots and the one I had on here before. However, that shot you grabbed of me has killed it for me in the past and I get tons of great feedback on it……I guess I’m torn.”

I was shocked that he was willing to admit that this pic has (in his own words) killed it for him in the past – but he was hesitant to use it.

If that pic has killed it, then that is exactly the pic to use!!! Photos that convey your personality are one of the keys to having a killer website.

Obviously we ended up going with it. I think it’s imperative that all entrepreneurs understand that more “professional” does NOT equal more traffic.

Actually, it most likely will end up having exactly the opposite effect.

So, does your site need a refresh? Get it done before the beginning of the new year, so you can focus on managing all the traffic you’ll have after your site is more representative of you, your personality and your business.

You know those quizzes that are supposed to tell you if you are a right brain person (creative) or a left brain person (logical)? Every time I take one, I’m right in the middle. Creative, with a little bit of logical sprinkled overtop. Which I always translated to mean that I’m just not that creative, or that logical.

Well, I took one a month or so ago, and it was 90% right brain.

What?? It can change?

Yeah, it can. And I think it’s because as a web designer I use a lot more of my creativity than I ever have before. I need the logic part to be able to actually code the design, but that takes way less effort for me than the creative part.

So, I guess you could say I’ve been cultivating my right brain tendencies.

And man, is that showing up all over my life.

As you can see in the illustration to the right, Right brain often = messy.

Messy for me means I’m more emotional than normal, I’m more forgetful than normal, and (this is the worst part) I’m more messy than normal.

The messiness is the part I’m having trouble dealing with. Because I’m a very organized, very neat and tidy kind of gal.

I don’t like crap laying around the house, and I literally can’t work if things aren’t clean. But in the last few months I have totally slacked on the neat and tidy.

Last week my left brain decided to stage a revolt. I walked past my kids playroom and realize the desk in there was piled with stuff. The drawers were stuffed full and I just couldn’t take another minute.

I was in the middle of work, so I couldn’t take care of that night, but the very next morning I jumped up and dumped everything out on the floor. I ended up cleaning out the entire playroom and playroom closet.

It was cathartic.

And in the midst of the mess, I found my missing diamond ring. (It had been gone for nearly a year).

I also found myself sitting in the middle of what looked like the aftermath of a tornado. And I realized that’s kind of how my whole life has been feeling.

Just too messy to really get anything done properly and/or efficiently.

It’s fine to cultivate your creative side – but I realized that letting my logical side jump ship was not an option anymore. I have to consciously work on getting myself balanced again – or I might lose one of my kids in the mess.

Any tips for cultivating both hemispheres? I know you’ve got to have some…

If you haven’t realized by now, I’m a huge advocate of doing what you love.

I’m doing it, and thank the good Lord, my husband is now too. It’s amazing what a difference it makes in your life.

The thing about doing what you love is that you will inevitably have to leave behind what you don’t love. And that’s the not-so-easy-part.

You may have to stay in a job you don’t love to give you the cash-flow that keeps you stress free until you can afford to follow your passion.

You may have to patiently plug away at odd hours, and you may have to grow your business the old-fashioned way, with time and word-of mouth.

I’m five years in, and I’m telling you, it’s the best way I can recommend to do it.

I’m a bootstrap kind of gal, who doesn’t like to ask for help (like at all), but there comes a time when asking for help is the only way to take it to the next level.

And since my personal field of expertise is web design, I’ll explain how getting the help of a pro designer can help you not only get your biz going faster, but can free up your time to do the stuff you should be doing.

There are tons (and I really mean tons) of programs out there that show you how to set up your very own website.

I get the need for such things, and that they can really help a cash-strapped person get their stuff moving.

At the same time, I generally don’t recommend them. In fact, I’ve been told I should put one together, but the fact is, I think they just delay the inevitable, cause a lot of stress, and can even lead to slight depression.

Here’s the issue…

You are meant to do what YOU love. Not everything that is necessary to make a business work.

A really good website takes work. It’s not as easy as just throwing something up and hoping for the best.

There are multiple facets that need to mesh together: a great, unique design + amazing copy + specifically placed marketing elements – to make an incredibly awesome website.

You can’t get that from a DIY program.

I know sooo many people who have gone through a DIY program, and have ended up getting in touch with me, or another web design person, depressed and about to give up on their business because they just can’t get this part right.

DIY web design just leads to heartache, derailment and frustration.

Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t give up your business. Just invest in a really good designer whose work speaks to you on a gut level.

I’ll admit it – I’m a quitter.

If I pour my heart and soul into something, and it still isn’t working, I quit.

I do not, however give up.

And I think there is a big difference between the two.

Giving up is what you do when something gets hard. You still want it, but you just don’t have the strength, the gumption, the whatever-you-want-to-call-it to keep going. There is only one thing that I’ve ever given up on, and while it turned out for the best, it still bugs me that I gave up.

Quitting is what you do when you know something isn’t right. You have given it everything you’ve got, and your gut is still screaming at you that you are on the wrong path.

Giving up is acquiescing. It’s admitting that you can’t go on, but you really wish you could.

Quitting is putting on your big girl panties and doing what is best for you, even if it doesn’t seem like the logical choice.

So, what do you think? Is quitting acceptable? Or am I way off…

This is a super hard topic for me to write about. It’s been in the back of my mind for months – but I really hate talking about it, so I keep resisting. Since we all know that what you resists, persists – I’m going to just get it out there, and out of the back of my mind.

In 1996 I had eye surgery to correct Strabismus in both of my eyes. Strabismus = lazy eyes.

That’s right, I said eyes. Like BOTH of my eyes. They took turns wandering off in different directions. Never bothering to let me know which one was going to stay put.

The problem started when I was 5 or 6, and my parents immediately took me to an eye doctor. He slapped some glasses on my face, told me to do some eye exercises and left it at that. It didn’t help.

Fast forward to me at age 12 – still struggling with lazy eyes, still no solution. And trust me when I say that it is not easy to go through life with eyes that don’t appear to be looking at the person you are talking to. Kids have no social filter, so they just say what’s on their mind – and flat out ask you what’s wrong with you.

At 14, a boy actually told me he thought I was really pretty, but my eyes were just too “weird.” Ouch. Doctors continued to tell me to do the exercises. “It will get better,” they said.

Age 17: I was convinced that I just needed to keep my face in a book. If I didn’t talk to anyone, no one would notice my eyes. Eyes still wandering.

In 1995 I went off to college. My eyes were still a problem, but I decided to stop pretending to be a wallflower. I’m not, nor have I ever been a quiet, reserved person – and pretending to be one was really, really hard for me. This was when I met my husband. He didn’t care about my eyes. He seriously thought I was pretty anyway. SHOCKING.

In 1996 I decided I’d had enough. The exercises were not helping. My eyes were still a mess. And I was drifting back toward just not talking to anyone.

The summer after my freshman year at college, I asked my parents to take me to one more place. This doctor admitted he didn’t have an answer either, but he knew someone who would.

Off to Children’s Hospital in Columbus, OH. Dr. Mary Lou McGregor (my hero) saw me and told me in the first five minutes of our visit that she would make it all go away. She knew, immediately, what the problem was – and how to fix it.

I spent 14+ years doing exercises and wearing glasses; and the facts were that those things were making the situation worse.

That’s right. Worse.

The only way to fix my eyes was to adjust the muscles. My eye muscles were simply too strong, and I was flexing them all over the place trying to make it better. With two quick surgeries, Dr. McGregor erased all my troubles. She fixed me.

With 15 years of straight eyes under my belt, I still don’t have “binocular” vision. My eyes don’t really work together – but they don’t wander anymore either.

The biggest lesson for me in all of this is to question “authority.” Sometimes, getting imaginative is just what the doctor ordered.

I knew deep inside myself that eye exercises were not the answer. But I kept doing them. I blindly followed the “rules” and it literally got me nowhere.

When I pushed the envelope, asked for one more chance, I got the answer I’d been looking for.

This reminds me of the way we entrepreneurs handle our businesses. We spend years and years doing what the “experts” say to do. We copycat; we mimic; we do what we are told without questioning anything.

And then we wonder why it doesn’t work for us.

Sometimes you have to dig deeper. You have to keep looking until you find what does work for you. And you have to stop listening to every guru who comes along. What worked for them may not work for you. In fact, it probably won’t.

There is value in learning from the people who have gone before, but like my Dr. McGregor – make sure your mentor knows what they are talking about. Blanket statements and a “this-is-how-I-did-it-so-it’s-the-only-way” attitude is a sure indicator that you need to keep looking for your guru.

Anyone out there have a story to share about getting your imagination in focus and how it moved your forward?

I don’t know how it works for other web designers, but when I am first approached by a client, I usually insist that we have to talk on the phone before we move forward. There are exceptions to this – like the gal who wrote me a letter describing exactly what she wanted. I knew from the way she wrote the letter that we’d get along just fine (and we did…)

But, in general, I like to verbally speak to my clients.

The reason behind that practice is this: as we start talking, I start seeing pictures in my head. Usually not anything concrete, and it’s not like the site manifests itself, all completely designed or anything – just images. Images floating around as they talk. Sometimes it’s relative to something they’ve said, or sometimes it’s just bright colors.

If I don’t see anything, we aren’t a good fit.

When I first started out, I ignored this indicator. I took on anyone and everyone who wanted to pay me. I quickly realized this is not a good idea.

Ever single client that I took on who did not produce images in my head ended up turning out badly. This usually resulted in major feature creep.

If you’ve never heard of feature creep, it’s not a creepy guy like in this drawing, but it is the irritating habit of some clients to continually add more and more and more to a product or design.

If you hire me to design your website, you can rest assured that I will work with you till we get something that is beautiful and functional.

But I’m done working with people who believe they have a good sense of aesthetics, but their vibe is all chaos and difficulty.  People who just keep adding things to the project.  People who are trying to force me to make ugly websites.  (Check out this illustration from The Oatmeal to see what I mean.)

Which isn’t to say that all the clients I walk away from are difficult and chaotic.  Some just aren’t a good fit.

And that doesn’t make either one of us wrong or bad – it just means that someone else would “get” that client better than I do.

So, give me some tips to gracefully bow out of a situation that I know just won’t work.  How do you avoid working with people who aren’t a good fit for you?

It’s not personal, it’s just business.

I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase.  They say it like 500 million times in The Godfather.  But that’s a movie about the mafia, and I’m pretty sure we can all agree their ethics are questionable at best.  Besides, I don’t think they really believe it either.

In my experience, what you do in your business is a very good example of how you really are.

If you don’t fulfill your contracts, chances are you don’t keep promises to your kids or spouse.

If you lie about how much you made last year, chances are you are lying about your college GPA, or maybe your degree.

My point here is, if you treat people poorly, it will come back to bite you in the end.

Here’s a for instance…

My friend runs his own business building computers.  This summer has been crazy busy for him, and he had a few clients who needed older computers rebuilt.  At this moment, his schedule is booked up through the fall, but he didn’t want to leave his customers hanging.

In an effort to make everyone happy, he offered the work as a subcontract to a friend who needed a few extra bucks.

The friend did the work, and everyone seemed happy.  My friend was super ecstatic about the arrangement, until he found out that the guy he asked to do the work left HIS card with the clients.

What’s up with that?  Is it ethical to do that?

For me, there is no gap between business and personal.  My business IS personal.  I take pride in my business, and in my work, and I don’t want anyone to say, “She does good work, but she’s kind of a jerk…”

I think this huge discrepancy between business and personal is the exact reason why so many entrepreneurs are failing these days.  If you can’t be ethical in your business, I don’t think you can be ethical in your life.

What do you think?  Should there be a separation between business and personal?

I’m a firm believer that there are things that need to be said.  Especially if you have a strong reaction about something.

You could spend years and years bottling up a hurt or an offense that was really just a misunderstanding, but you didn’t say anything, so you don’t know.

And, believe me, I know that it’s not always easy to say what you need to say.  Nor is it always a good idea to just go running your mouth about everything.  But if your gut is screaming at you that something doesn’t feel right, and you ignore it – you’re just asking for trouble down the road.

A few months ago I came across a gig for a newly formed company.  The founder had some serious chops – and she was looking for a go-to wordpress person.  Sounded like a dream.

We chatted, it seemed like a good fit, and we agreed to move forward.

Then she asked if she could use some of my work in the company portfolio.  And that made me just feel ick.  But I didn’t say a word.

Later she asked me to help her finish up the company site – and I said sure.  But I didn’t want to because I was still feeling ick about the previous request.  But I still didn’t say a word.

In the end, we parted ways.  Because I was still not cool with her request, and she was annoyed with me because I didn’t do what I said I would do.

And now that I’m removed from the situation, I’m fairly certain that she didn’t mean for me to be offended by her request.  And if we’d just talked it out, things might have turned out differently.  But because I didn’t say anything, I’ll never know.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this kind of stuff…

It’s inevitable.  Every time I talk to anyone about what I do, I get questions about how I do it.

How do I work from home, and keep myself motivated?  How do I make myself get out of bed every day and actually work?   How do you make sure you have enough to pay your bills?  Don’t you feel like your work isn’t stable enough?

Well, my first answer for those questions are – if you are asking me, you aren’t ready for at-home work.  The second one is you also haven’t found the thing you are supposed to be doing yet either.

I am a firm believer that stability is overrated.  Stability makes you soft, and lazy.  Stability makes you feel entitled, and dulls your senses.

If you are out there every day upping your game, and challenging yourself with every move – you have no choice but to be sharp and ready for anything.

I have no problem getting out of bed in the morning for work.  I’m freaking on fire for what I do.  I have trouble putting it down.  In fact, it isn’t work.  And it definitely isn’t a job.  It’s my business.  And that’s what I may start saying to the doubters… It’s my business – so mind yours.

Do you feel that fire for your business?  If you do, there’s no stopping you.  Let your biz evolve as you do, and just keep moving.  If you start feeling “stable” you’ll know you’re heading in the wrong direction.