She wore such a nicely done scarf, a burqa, and such an unforgettable and a positive smile that made her look so hopeful and full of life, even after what she had gone through. I couldn’t, by any means, tell if she was dying, although she did look ill and that was maybe because of the chemotherapy and the radiations she went through for two years. In fact I even thought she was now recovering, and whatever illness it was, had left her for good. That is what the impression that meeting with her left on me, until late summers…

She had a story to tell. A long story, that she witnessed in a short span of time. Well, it was probably short for everyone else, but I can feel how long it might have been for her. A story about life, a story about the changing faces of this world and the materialistic people living in it, a story about how one beautiful face that used to be the reason of love for someone, turned into the reason of hatred for that same person. A story about how the inner beauty of someone becomes so meaningless. And this story was exactly something that makes my life after that get together so full of lessons.

I once got a text from her that read “Have you ever cried by yourself? Late at night when no one is around, and you feel your soul tearing apart itself, as your tears felt with defeating sound?”. This, for me, says a lot…

Those ninety minutes is all I have as a memory of a great friend. A friend who taught me what life meant. A friend who taught me what hope was all about. A friend, who could so perfectly fake a smile, that I now realize how difficult it must have been for her at that time. A friend who loved her children just so much that she would even mention her children enjoying Ice-Cream. A friend, who probably became one of my best friends in those ninety minutes. A friend, who I’ve missed for the past one month, who I’m missing right now, and who I’ll miss for my life. Those ninety minutes was what made her matter for me…

HERE is a post about how she passed away. May her soul rest in peace. Ameen.

— One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way,from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score good grades.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "None."

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees." The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner."The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly.His tear fell as he did that.It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said,Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today.Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager."

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

–Once upon a time there was a man in the jungle enjoying a nice day watching the equatorial lush green foliage and the exotic animal life. Suddenly, the man heard the movement of a lion behind him and so ran for his life. But the man couldn’t escape and came face to face with the lion. As he was thinking quickly of another way to escape, he saw a deep well to his right. His options were narrowed between drowning in the well and being chewed by the hungry lion.

The man decided to jump into the well hoisting himself with a rope tied to the top of the well for drawing water. As he reached the bottom of the well, the man saw a huge man-eating snake taking a nap at the bottom; the man pulled himself up in the middle of the well, suspended between a hungry lion on the top and a sleeping snake at the bottom.

Meanwhile the man noticed that two mice, one black and one white were chewing the rope he was hanging on, making it thinner and thinner. The man began to swing with the rope hitting the sides of the walls of the well periodically. Suddenly he felt something sticky on his shoulder, as he examined what it was, he found that it was honey. Upon looking around the well he noticed a bee colony on the wall of the well.

The man forgot the dangerous situation he was involved in and started licking the honey to his satisfaction. He suddenly remembered where he was and jumped out of bed. The man was dreaming all along. The man went to a Sheikh to interpret his dream. The Sheikh laughed and asked him: “You do not understand this dream?” The man replied “Yes sir, I do not.”

The Sheikh said “The lion that was chasing you is the Angel of Death. The well which housed the snake is your grave. The rope in the well that you were hanging on is your lifetime ticking away. The Rodents chewing your rope, the black and the white mice are the day and the night. The man asks “The honey, Sir, What is the honey?” The Sheikh replied “The honey is the life of this world and its temptations which made you forget that there was death behind you and a grave ahead of you. You end up in the grave while savoring the taste of the honey until you find yourself standing trial for your deeds in a Court of Law of the most Just kind.

The above narration was just intended to remind us that we are also busy licking the honey (lost in the temptations of this world) while our life time is ticking away. Some day (sooner or later) we will also face the angel of death and will be carried to our grave!

Say: “Verily, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to (Allah), the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, and He will tell you what you used to do.” {Surat Al-Jumu`ah, Verse 8}

Think and Reflect.

But I was wrong. You win. You beat her, or probably she let you beat her. Probably she accepted defeat herself. Maybe you were too much for her, though I’m sure she gave you a tough fight. Two and a half years, long surgeries, all sorts of medicines, frequent visits to the hospital and staying admitted there at times, bearing all those pains that are easier to talk about but extremely difficult to feel, not eating anything that might have ignited you again, it isn’t easy you know. She was definitely very strong. You were almost asleep for good, but then you woke up, only to prove her strength was not enough…

But hey cancer, don’t you see the tears a father has in his eyes after losing his princess? Don’t you see how broken he feels? Don’t you see him bursting into tears all of a sudden? Don’t you see how shaken he is with what you have done? A father who, she used to tell me, loved her more than anyone else. She told me, if there was anyone to go to the extremes of doing something for her, it would be her father. Someone who could do whatever it took only to make his daughter smile. But you don’t see all of this do you? You just don’t know how terrible it is for a father to see his child lying dead in front of him. For you, it’s only your strength to prove isn’t it?

And you don’t even see the confusion on the face of a five year old boy who wakes up the next morning and doesn’t find his mother around him. Who doesn’t even know why isn’t he being sent to the school. Who doesn’t know who to call if he needs a feeder of milk, or wants to get cleaned after getting his pants wet. And you certainly don’t see the tears a three year old girl has in her eyes, not because her mother is not living anymore, but only because everyone around her is crying. This child wouldn’t even know what actually happened. She wouldn’t know where her mother went and if she’s ever coming back or not. You just don’t care do you?

And I’m sure you are least concerned with what a mother felt when she was told her daughter is no more. With what a brother and a sister felt when they came to know about the death of their eldest sibling, and no doubt, you’re least concerned with whatever each individual associated with her felt when the news of her death broke. You’re just concerned with winning aren’t you? You just know your strength. But is it what you call winning? Is this how you defeat people? If only you had feelings, I’m sure you’d be ashamed of yourself today.

You haven’t won Mr. Cancer, you might have shown your strength alright, but this isn’t a win. She might have been beaten, but this is not a victory for you. In fact, from where I’m seeing it, you’ve actually lost. I’m just so proud of my friend to have fought with you, and to have fought so well. You’ve lost Mr. Cancer, you’ve lost…

We are humans. We make mistakes and we know that we cannot be perfect. Still, we expect others to be perfect, we expect perfect love, we expect perfect trust, perfect friendship, 100% possession and what not, and we demand for explanations if the other person doesn’t come up to our expectations. This behavior I think is natural, and this is where the two sides come into play. Expectations is what our heart has. Perfectness is what our heart desires, loving and being loved is to do with heart. Trusting a person involves the heart of the person who is putting his trust into another person. These concepts are all abstract and only understood by a heart. They probably don’t have anything logical in them. You might still trust someone even after being betrayed. You might still love someone even after being hurt. You might still care for someone even if you don’t get care in return. Seems absurd, but I’d say this is natural. Against this, your mind might think to take revenge, to hurt the person who hurt you, or to leave alone the person who doesn’t care for you. Our heart lives in a perfect world where there is nothing logical, whereas our mind puts logic in our decisions.

A few days back I wrote a post titled Explanations and got different comments on that post. Different point of views I must say, for those comments open to us the different ways of thinking people engage themselves in. One of the comments I got to that post said that people even lose their friendship and don’t listen and make stupid assumptions based on something told by someone else. I just can’t agree more to this comment, for the reason to this behavior, I think, is the conflict between heart and mind. Your heart doesn’t expect that person to do what you heard was done by the other person, but your mind wants to take revenge and puts those stupid assumptions before you. You want explanations from that person, something your mind desires, whereas the other person expects you to understand without any explanations, something that the heart desires.

My friend Ali Adnan wrote a post titled Perfect Trust in reply to my post. This post, I think sort of answers the points put forward by him. My friend says perfectness is not meant for this world, whereas I’d say, perfectness IS meant for this world, its just that this world itself has two sides to it, one where our mind lives, a world of logic that is, and one where our heart dwells, the world of perfectness…

But is it practically possible to always trust and be trusted in return? There are times when a doubt in a person’s mind asks for some explanations. But does it mean that the trust is fading away? Or can this explanation be a means to strengthen the trust even more? I once read a quotation that went something like “Never explain, for those who understand don’t need it, and those who need it won’t understand anyway” by Elbert Hubbard. I sort of believed in this quotation. Why would you need to explain your point to someone you expect to understand things themselves? And if you don’t think they’ll understand, are they even important? If you expect them to understand you, they should be the one telling you that they know your point and you don’t need to explain it, and if it is you having to explain why you did whatever you did, you first need to think if the person you’re explaining your point to is even worth your explanation.

But now I think I have a changed perspective. Although I still don’t have any counter arguments for having understanding in a relationship, but I think there are times when a person should be given a second chance. A chance to explain his point and to prove himself innocent. Although, as I said above, having to prove your point and having to explain your situation puts a big dent in your existing relationship, but it can even prove to be a last resort to save a relationship. Not explaining and waiting for others to understand things themselves would probably put a bigger dent. Though one should try and avoid any situation where there are explanations required, but if need be, I think, one should not hesitate to put some trust back in the relationship and explain his/her point, for losing a relationship is a bigger loss than not having to explain…

I didn’t know much about MySpace. For me, it started off with Orkut. Having an Orkut account at the time it was launched was thought to be in style. A person was considered famous if he had an Orkut account and if he could send out 4 invites (That’s what the limit was if I remember correctly). I got my invitation sent by a cousin and I felt like a super star when I tried finding many of my friends there only to come to know they didn’t have an account yet. Back then, whoever had more friends on Orkut was considered to be more social. Having more than a 100 friends on Orkut was like achieving a milestone. It didn’t matter if the people you had as your friends were actually your friends or not. And then Orkut also had an option of marking people as an acquaintance, a friend, or a very good friend, so that sort of justified having far off acquaintances to be added as friends as well. The scrapbook and the comparisons people used to make about the number of scraps they had. The birthday reminder feature, the photo sharing feature and other similar features were new and hence attracted a lot of traffic.

Then came Hi5, though for a short time only I guess. Right when it started gaining popularity and when it was getting into the lives of everyone just the way Orkut had, Facebook came into action, and that too with a lot more features than even Orkut was offering. Facebook defined social networking a completely new way. Although chat was not launched with facebook initially, but the addition of chat feature from within facebook worked wonders for facebook. Developers could build applications, account holders could do whatever previous social networking websites offered plus a lot more. You could write notes and upload videos as well. There were applications like the Graffitti that were very famous initially. Then there were features like tagging people in pictures and in notes. The privacy features were supposedly better than Orkut until recently. The feature of making events and inviting friends, making groups and pages etc, the embedded emails and similar features made a facebook user stick to facebook. In short, Facebook proved to be something people were eagerly waiting for.

As the case was with Orkut, things didn’t change much with Facebook either. The way people added friends remained the same. The race to have more and more friends continued on Facebook as well. People used to remind their acquaintances when and how they met and why they should be friends on Facebook. Being friends on facebook with your real life friends was considered to be equivalent to keeping in touch with them, although the frequency of interactions, as I see it, declined exponentially. Keeping in touch with friends through facebook chat or writing on facebook wall was considered enough, and an occasional comment on a shared picture or a video meant you care for that friend. Keeping up to date with friends now is as simple as signing in to facebook.

But the question still remains. Has Orkut, Hi5, facebook or even twitter for that matter, really helped us improve our social networks? Has it improved the way we interact with our friends and acquaintances? Has it helped us socialize more than we did previously? Have the applications such as games on facebook helped us interact more with people we didn’t interact with previously? Have these social networking websites had a positive impact on our lives?

This is what I thought about love. I thought love is a concept that cannot be replaced by any material object. I thought love is abstract, but just like there are several ways this “concept” can be defined, there are several shapes this “concept” can take. Sadly enough, these different shapes of this “concept” are taking away the feel out of it, and making this “concept” a more material thing rather than an abstract thing. The common feeling of love is now being replaced by the uncommon material things of this world.

Feelings show themselves. Without being explicit in your action or words, you can show that you care, that you love. But then people thought they needed a token of appreciation, something physical that others could remember for long, something that could remind people someone loved and cared for them. They started giving gifts. Even though a gift was something material, but the feeling behind that gift was what actually mattered instead of the price tag behind that gift. But then people wanted to show they love “more” than others, or that they care “more” now than they did before. They started sending expensive gifts. The price tag started to represent the associated feelings.

Now that the “value” of the gift was becoming important, people started having a shift in priorities. People now wanted to work more so that they could earn more and give more to others, only to show they care. To work more, they needed more time that they ultimately had to extract from the time they used to give to their families. More money started flowing in to the household. The wife has more to spend, and supposedly, she is happier than she was before. The children have more to spend and even they are happier. The family picnics and gatherings decreased because everyone got busy in the race to show they care. The family dramas that all members of the household waited eagerly for and watched together are no more watched together. Almost each member of the household has his/her own television to watch whatever he/she wants to. Housewives thought they needed to give a helping hand to their husbands and need to find jobs, so that their family could be happier. Maids were paid higher to “love” the kids even more. Although love was still there, but the shape of it was changing. The feeling behind it, the essence of love, was fading away…

I thought there was no alternate to love. I thought no feeling or no material thing could replace love. But I think I was wrong. Money has so easily become an alternate to love, that it is now considered if you don’t have money, you cannot really love or care. This material world has found an alternate to love…

My late friend Muhammad Umar Khan was so very conscious about the way his name was spelt. He would make sure his name had the initial Muhammad included as his first name and was spelt with a ‘U’ and not with an ‘O’. As in, only Umar Khan was not OK for him. And Umar also had to start with a ‘U’ and not an ‘O’, and it had to have an ‘A’ in it as well. The other forms of Umar, like Omer, Omar, or even Umer were not acceptable to him :-). Similarly, I had a friend who spelt his name as Ale, although it was pronounced as Ali. This makes me wonder how the simplest of names can be made complex :-P.

I don’t know why but it irritates me as well if someone spells my name with double ‘R’ instead of a single ‘R’. With two ‘R’s, my name sounds like an English name :-P, and it seems that a lot of accent has to be put in if two Rs have to be pronounced in my name. To me, just plain and simple, single ‘R’ name looks so beautiful :-). I make it a point to explicitly correct anyone who uses two Rs in my name…

This list goes on and on. This is not only the case with males, but female names can be made equally complex. Take for example Mariam. It can be spelled as Mariyam, Meriyam, Maryam,  and what not. Similarly Javaria and Sumaira can have a lot many permutations as well :-P. I even know people who would argue if their name should be spelled exactly the way it sounds in Urdu. Muneeba is one example. In Urdu, the sound this name ends with is that of an ‘H’, hence Muneeba should rather be Muneebah. Sounds good for an argument, No?

Are you sensitive about the spellings of your name? Does it irritate you when others spell your name differently than how you do it?

I have this feeling that I’m busy. That I don’t get time for myself. I was asked why am I not blogging anymore and I answered that there was a time when I used to observe the smallest of things and I used to have a point of view about the way things were being done and the way I thought they should have been done. I used to discuss and share things. This is no more the case, or maybe I am busy enough to observe things around me and to have an opinion.

I was just going through some of the blogs I follow and was reading them when I realized how long it has been since I have blogged regularly. Although I have been writing occasionally, but that has only been once a month or so, which is so not the way I thought it would be when I started blogging. Hence, I am coming back to blogging yet again :-P, and this time, I am coming with some new stuff (this just popped up in my mind).

How about posting some Urdu poetry on my blog? I’m not a poet myself but love reading Urdu poetry, and I have been thinking to start a poetry section on my blog. So if I’m not observing things and am busy enough to think about what to write, I’d at least have some poets do the thinking and I’ll post their stuff (well in most cases, the poets would be long dead, so the thinking is already done, only the posting part of it is left :-P).

And I’m also planning to start a picture quotation section on my blogspot blog, along with a question of the day series. Well, I’ve realized that a lot many questions just keep on popping in my head. Questions about life, about destiny, about everything (seriously), so why not just post those questions for you guys to answer. I guess I should see what opinion you guys have about things that get me confused :-P.

So, this is just to say that I will blog, and even if I have to say it for the fourteen hundred and thirty seventh time, I will :-P. CIAO.

Muhammad Umar Khan. I first met him on the 5th of June 2008 at the PC hotel Lahore where we gathered for our group discussion and interviews for IBA admissions. That entire day was enough to make the 10 or 11 of us become friends of each other, because we all were to be part of the IBA hostelite family once selected. I had my interview taken ahead of everyone else because of the alphabetical order and I wasn’t allowed to see my other fellows waiting to be interviewed, so I could only exchange mobile phone number of Umar, that too in a hurry, before I left the hotel. Hence, Umar was the person I communicated with for anything related to IBA before we actually submitted our fee. I would ask him if he is planning to join IBA or waiting for other options, or if he’d start his job? I’d ask him if he had filled out all the forms or not? I’d ask him if his other class fellows who got selected for IBA were willing to join IBA? I’d ask him to stop thinking much and to make up his mind once and for all and submit the fee…

The second time we met each other was on the 30th of July, 2008. That was in Karachi, when we had our orientation. The journey started from there. I moved into my hostel room on the 31st of July 2008, and Umar moved in on the 1st of August. We would just sit together in the TV lounge and talk about everything. We would go to the market together. We would wait for each other before we had our meals in the mess. We would be found in each other’s rooms more often than being found in our own rooms. We would make project groups together. We would participate in competitions together. We would walk to the campus together and would come back to hostel together. Umar Khan was one of the closest friends I had at the IBA.

I also wrote about one of the experiences I had with Umar in a competition held at the IBA. That post can be found here. Before summer vacations were to start, several companies came to IBA for recruiting our seniors and for our internships. One of them was GSK who, when they came, gave the attendees some gifts. Their gifts included a small tension reliever ball, that we played catch catch with :-P. I remember whenever I went to Umar’s room, I got hold of that tension reliever ball of his and would throw it on his room walls as hard as I could and would catch it. Sometimes he would sit on his bed and I’d stand in front of one of the walls and would throw the ball on another wall in such a way that made it difficult for Umar to catch it, and Umar would have to dive on his bed to catch the ball.

We also used to celebrate our birthdays at the hostel, though it was always a four or five member gathering, but we would bring cakes and would cut them at exact 12 midnight. We used to take pictures and make videos of those celebrations using Umar’s mobile. He just had his 24th birthday on the 2nd of April this year and I remember Shahid and Waqar trying to get hold of him and me making a video of the entire event, to make him wear things we brought for Umar that he didn’t want to wear :-P.

Umar was one of the luckiest guys from our entire batch at IBA who got a job before the exams ended. He started his job on the 12th of July in Karachi. On the 27th of July, I had a chat with him and he told me he’d be coming to Rawalpindi to attend to his mothers surgery, and that he might also come to Lahore over the weekend. I asked him to stay at my place if he does come to Lahore. He told me the details about his mothers operation and that he had taken three days off from office and would be flying the next morning.

That flight didn’t allow him to see his mother get well after the operation :-(, in fact, it even took him away from his family. The ill-fated airblue flight from Karachi to Islamabad had one of my best friends in it, and that flight took him away from all of us. A few days back I was going through the pictures of my stay at IBA and was recalling the times we were together. The pictures at the beach, at the restaurants, at ice-cream parlors, at the hostel, in the funniest of poses.

His memories are never ending and ever lasting. I pray that his soul rests in peace at the highest of places in Jannah Insha-Allah, and that Allah gives sabar to his family. Ameen. Umar Khan, you will always be remembered Insha-Allah. I miss you…

We used to organize cricket matches amongst the adjacent blocks of the society we lived in. We would just walk to the streets of other blocks, find boys playing cricket there and would ask them if they wanted to have a match with our team. These street matches were starters to big matches that were played in grounds on Sunday mornings. We would fight on the stupidest of things such as if the bowled ball was a no ball or not, and if the runner had completed the run. I even remember us backing for each other if any of us got engaged in a quarrel or something. He was an extremely good batsman and lead our team most of the times. I just can’t stop visualizing his face right in front of me every now and then. We used to be together for most of our evenings, specially in Summers.

But then he joined Pakistan Army, and I started my Engineering studies. Another street friend left for abroad for his studies, and yet another friend went to GIKI for his studies. That was when the members of our cricket team chose their own paths, and though we still met but not that regularly. But Omer and I met a bit more frequently whenever he was in Lahore, maybe because we were the same age.

This friend who told me about Omer’s death told me that Omer was the commanding officer of his sepoys at Siyachin post and was coming back after completing his term there when he slipped off the mountain :-(. Although his body was recovered but he had fatal head injuries and he couldn’t survive. It is just so difficult to believe that the person I’ve spent my childhood with is not living anymore. He is one person I probably won’t forget, not in my near future atleast. May Allah grant him Jannah and me his soul rest in peace. Ameen

One of my teachers at IBA, Dr. Iqbal, recently passed away. It was nothing less than a shock to come to know about his death. Though he did have white hair and aged skin, but he was healthy. Not only healthy physically, but from heart. He was probably the most soft spoken person I ever met. He unfortunately did not have any children, and at times during his lectures, when he needed to give examples to explain his point, he would take examples from his life. He would always try to be as realistic as possible. He would even tell us table manners and etiquettes, he would tell us how one should be dressed up. He would tell us how we should use words such that the other person gets the message without feeling bad about what we want to convey. We usually did not like his teachings as we thought they weren’t too related with the course contents, but I guess we were wrong. He taught us Business communication and Negotiation, and I can so relate to his words and how each of his lesson was so important.

Dr. Iqbal had close association with hostelites. He even came to the hostel one day at around 8:30 in the morning and had breakfast with us before his class was due to start at 9:00 am. He always open heartedly invited the hostelites to his place. As I mentioned earlier that he did not have any children, he would at times ask us more than once to visit his place, specially on Sunday mornings, and to have Sunday breakfast with him. A few of us hostelites planned a couple of times to visit his place but somehow those plans couldn’t be implemented. This is one regret I have, not being able to visit his place even after he invited us so many times…

He died from a cardiac arrest. it is still hard to believe that he is not living anymore :-(. May Allah rest his soul in peace. Ameen

It probably is unexplainable how I felt to be back to the place I seriously think made me who I am today. This school enabled me to face the world and to stand on my feet. The school itself hadn’t changed much though. I easily recalled my class rooms. The front area where we used to have our Assembly, the long walkways where we used to crowd during recess times. It was just so nostalgic. I even met the head mistress of the school and I’m not sure if she recognized me or not but the way she greeted me was friendly enough to make me feel she recalled my face. Our sports teacher, as soon as he saw me, said he remembered my face but didn’t remember my name. My friend took me to a couple of teachers as well but unfortunately I couldn’t recognize them.

We were also shown a picture story of Sir Aleem and Sir Nusrat, our English and Mathematics teachers respectively. They both had passed away. I do remember Sir Nusrat but Can’t forget Sir Aleem at all. He was probably the strongest pillar of Sunbeams. As someone mentioned there, he was just like a coconut, harder from outside but softer from inside. His loud voice saying “Keep quiet everyone” would just make all of us shiver. 1994 it was when I was in class 5, our class was making a lot of noise when Sir Aleem came to our class, asked each of us to stand and make a line and march towards the assembly area. The boys were made to knot their ties on their foreheads, and a board was put in front of us that read “Beware of Barbarians”. I’d probably never ever forget that day, not because we were scolded and punished, but because the person who punished us is not amongst us today. If it matters me saying this, I really miss Sir Aleem.

One of my seniors, who was from my brothers batch saw me and immediately recognized me. I mean, it sort of amazed me as well, but he had good memory. A few students who couldn’t attend the re-union had sent emails that were read out loud on stage. Another friend of mine had commented about Sunbeams that it is a garden without a rose, and I just can’t agree more with this statement. Sunbeams Grammar School is no doubt a garden, something that spreads beauty, but is without a rose, the most beautiful of all flowers. That’s what Sir Aleem was to Sunbeams Grammar School. Another friend read out the following lines that he wrote at that very moment.

“Whenever on a cold winter afternoon, nostalgia hits me, Sweet memories of Sunbeams will cuddle me just for a while, and tears will come along to support my smile”.

This Sunday night was a night filled with memories. Memories that mean a lot more when you’re with your best buddies and recalling old days, and its even greater when your friends also recall the same event as accurately as you do. I wouldn’t have actually come to this reunion had my friend not motivated me enough, and now I just love my friend to have told me about this event and to motivate me to attend it. I just wish I didn’t have to leave my school that early. I just wish I stayed in contact with my teachers and obviously my school. I just wish…

But is it actually practical? I mean, the state Pakistan is in, where the gap between the poor and the rich gets bigger by the day, where people find it easier to jump in front of a train than to strive for food, where abusive words are just so fluent on everyone’s mouth that out of every 10 words a person speaks on average, 3 are at least meant to express the anger a person has within. Even if we talk about rich and supposedly educated people, we see the traffic jams daily, something that can easily be avoided if the drivers keep themselves disciplined enough. Just yesterday, I got badly stuck in a traffic jam which started because of a murder, the FIR of which wasn’t being lodged. The relatives of the murdered came out on streets and threw stones on passing cars for which the police had to divert the traffic, resulting in a jam. Now doesn’t this very example have multiple hidden Azm’s in it. First of all the murder shouldn’t have happened, for whatever the reason. Secondly, the police should have been active and should have done the needful, thirdly the protestors shouldn’t have adopted this way of protesting, and fourthly, the driving discipline should have been maintained to avoid the traffic jam.

But I like the idea actually. It is a start at least. A start to something that has no end. This might not be practical, this might not make the difference as it is expected to, but again, it is a step forward. We all can definitely add to the list of Azm’s and stick to them. We can at least make it practical for ourselves. We can at least have an azm of making the azme alishan as alishan as possible…

Well, actually I came back to Lahore almost 15 days back, but didn’t have internet with me. It took me about 15 days to decide which internet service I wanted to use. Fortunately or unfortunately (the later seems more appropriate at this very moment :-(), I chose Worldcall. The packages that Worldcall was offering seemed somewhat reasonable. The first two days were fantastic too, infact not only fantastic, I was ACTUALLY impressed with Worldcall’s internet service. That’s how good it worked. But that was to last for two days only I suppose. Today it is so irritating me, the remote computer won’t agree to respond in a timely manner, in fact, it won’t respond at all at times. Even if it does, I’d just keep on refreshing the webpage in the hope for something to be displayed, only to see the ‘This webpage is not available’ message that Google Chrome keeps on displaying when it can’t open a web page. Sometimes the remote modem is out of order :-S. I hope Worldcall proves to be a worthy decision for me in future.

Anyways, it feels good to be back with family Alhamdulillah :-). Now I can enjoy mom ke hath ke parathay, apni marzi ke farmaishi khanay, and I can put my head in my mom’s lap and sleep. And now that I also have internet with me, I hope I stay in touch with all of my readers and with all the blogs I used to read (although at this very moment, Worldcall is so making me angry at its response, or at its no response I should rather say). Do stay around!

Anyways, its only about less than 2 months remaining after which I’d be an MBA Insha-Allah :-). This semester has been busier for me than I thought it would be. Now, I only have my last finals (of my life??) remaining. The last of exams, EVER (maybe, maybe not). And I suppose the coming month will, although be even busier than what I have experienced so far but, bring with it all things that will make my stay here just so memorable. We’ll have our farewell, our hostel Alumni dinner, the batch pictures and etc. Anyways, lets hope for the best. Currently, I’m only counting days before I’ll hopefully re-join my family Insha-Allah.

This month I even had a 3-day short trip to Lahore (over the weekend) where I was to conduct a 2-day workshop, along with my team. So I did get to see my family at least, although not for long. I only got to see Muneeba for a maximum of five hours during this entire stay because I usually left at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning for the workshop and returned late at night. Though this trip did surprise everyone as I hadn’t informed anyone of my arrival. Couldn’t also meet a lot of friends whom I wanted to meet, probably because I didn’t tell them I was coming, otherwise we might have had a meet up.

All in all, things have been REALLY busy. All the projects, the assignments, the tons and tons of reading materials, the classes at one campus or the other everyday, the exams, everything has been coming so fast on me, but there still seems to be a lot of time remaining before my finals would end. Although Insha-Allah, I am hopeful that this all would be worth it. Do remember me in your prayers. And do stay around, I’ll Insha-Allah be back with more stuff. Not sure when, but I will Insha-Allah :-). Take care!!

Anyways, the point of this post is only to comfort my very own self that this busyness cannot force me to quit blogging :-P. Although I may not be able to blog very often until this semester ends (which I really want to happen soon :-(), and I might not be able to read blogs at all, but I will blog Insha-Allah. I really hope I see myself blogging soon enough because, as I read somewhere, a blogger once is a blogger forever…

The past week has probably left me unable to do anything. It has consumed me. Sundays are no more Sundays, and a project for almost each course is just making me go crazy. Besides, the weather is also getting hot. And I think I’m missing home as well :-(. Although it has only been one and a half months since I came back here from home, and its still another 3 months to go before I can even think of going back, but I feel as if seeing my family for some time only would make me feel better, and charged enough to pass the remaining semester.

A question just struck my head. Why are the two Eids only about 2 months apart? :-P. Each of the Eids should come during the semesters, one in Fall and one in Spring. This won’t hurt anyone but would really be beneficial for students :-P. The Spring semester doesn’t really have any occasions or festivals that guarantee a long break. So will it be worth praying to God to make the Eids come during the semesters?

امید  کرتا  ہوں  کہ  آپ  سب  خیریت  سے  ہونگے  انشا اللہ۔  قران  کلاس  کا  سلسلہ  میں  نے  بہت  پہلے  شروع  کیا  تھا  مگر  اسکا  تسلسل  برقرار  نہ  رکھ  سکا،  جسکے  لیئے  معذرت  چاہتا  ہوں۔  میری  پوری  کوشش  ہوگی  کہ  کم از کم  ہر  اتوار  کو  ضرور  ایک  کلاس  یہاں  لکھوں۔  ہم  نے  پہلے  ۲  دو  کلاس  ختم  کر  لی  ہیں،  اور  جن  لوگوں  نے  وہ  دو  کلاس  کسی  وجہ  سے  نہیں  پڑھیں،  وہ  یہاں  سے  پچھلی  کلاس  دیکھ  سکتے  ہیں۔

کلاس  اول

کلاس  دوم  حصہ  اول

کلاس  دوئم  حصہ  دوئم

——————————————————-

ہم  نے  پچھلی  کلاس  میں  سورت  حجرات  کی  پہلی  ایت  پڑھی  تھی۔  آج  ہم  اسی  سورت  کی  دوسری  ایت  پڑھتے  ہیں۔  دوسری  ایت  کا  اغاز  اس  طرح  ہوتا  ہے۔

یآَیُّھَا الَّذِینَ  آمَنُوُا

ہم  نے  پچھلی  کلاس  مین  دیکھا  تھا  کہ  یہاں  تک  جتنی  آیت  ہے  اسکا  مطلب  ہے  ‘اے  اہلِ  ایمان’،  اب  ہم  اس  سے  آگے  دیکھتے  ہیں۔  اگلا  لفظ  ہے  لَا،  جسکا  مطلب  بھی  ہمیں  پتہ  ہے۔  اس  لفظ  کا  مطلب  ہے  ‘نہیں’۔  اس  سے  اگلا  لفظ  ہے تَرفَعُوُا۔  اس  لفظ  کو  ہم  توڑ  کر  ت ۔۔  رفع ۔۔  وا  لکھ  سکتے  ہیں۔  پچھلی  کلاس  میں  ہمنے  لفظ  تُقَدِّمُوُا  پڑھا  تھا  جسکے  شروع  میں  بھی  ت  آیا  تھا،  اور  ہمنے  دیکھا  تھا  کہ  ت  کا  مطلب  ہے   تو   یا   تم۔  اسی  طرح  لفظ  تَرفَعُوُا  میں  بھی  ت  کا  مطلب  ہے  تُم۔  اس  سے  اگلا  لفظ  ہے  رَفَع۔  اردو  میں  لفظ  رفع  کا  مطلب  ہے  بلند،  یا  اونچا۔  جیسے  ہم  کہتے  ہیں  رفیع الشان  یعنی  اونچی  شان۔  عربی  میں  بھی  رفع  کا  مطلب  اونچا  ہی  ہے۔  اور  اس  لفظ  کے آخر  میں  وا  کا  مطلب  ہم  جانتے  ہی  ہیں،  جو  کسی  لفظ  کو  جمع  کرنے  کے  لیئے  استعمال  ہوتا  ہے۔  تو  اس  مکمل  لفظ  کا  مطلب  کیا  بنے  گا؟

تَرفَعُوُا ۔۔  تم  سب  بلند  کرو  یا  کرنا۔

اگلا  لفظ  ہے  اَصوَاتَکُم۔  یہ  لفظ  دو  الفاظ  کو  جوڑ  کر  بنایا  گیا  ہے،  وہ  دو  الفاظ  ہیں  اصوات  اور  کم۔  اردو  زبان  میں  ہم  صوت  یا  اصوات  کے  الفاظ  استعمال  کرتے  ہیں۔  اس  لفظ  کا  مطلب  ہے  آواز  یا  آوازیں۔  عربی  میں  بھی  اس  لفظ  کا  یہی  مطلب  ہے۔  اور  ہم  نے  پچھلی  کلاس  میں  پڑھا  تھا  کہ  ‘ کم ‘  کا  کیا  مظلب  ہوتا  ہے۔  لٖفظ  کم  کا  مطلب  ہے  تم  سب۔  یعنی  اَصوَاتَکُم  کا  مطلب  ہوگیا  تم  سب  کی  آوازیں۔

ابھی  تک  پڑھی  گئی  آیت  کا  مطلب  دیکھتے  ہیں۔ ۔ ۔

یَا یُّھَا الَّذِینَ  آمَنُوُا  لَا  تَرفَعُوُا  اَصوَاتَکُم۔

اے  اہلِ  ایمان  اپنی  آوازیں  بلند  یا  اونچی  نہ  کرو۔ ۔ ۔

اسی  آیت  میں  اگلا  لفظ  ہے  فَوقَ۔  یہ  لفظ  بھی  اردو  زبان  میں  مستعمل  ہے  اور  اسکا  مطلب  ہے  فوقیت  دینا  یا  ترجیح  دینا،  یا  ایک  سے  دوسرے  کو  بلند  کرنا۔  اگلے  دو  الفاظ  ہیں  صَوتِ  النَّبِیِّ۔  ہم  نے  ابھی  دیکھا  کہ  صوت  کا  مطلب  ہے  آواز۔  اگلا  لفظ  النَّبِیِّ  دو  الفاظ  کو  جوڑ  کر  بنایا  گیا  ہے  جو  ہیں  ال  اور  نبی۔  ہمیں  یہ  بھی  پتہ  ہے  کہ  اگر  کسی  لفظ  سے  پہلے  ال  لگا  دیا  جائے  تو  وہ  اس  لفظ  کو  خاص  بنا  دیتا  ہے۔  یہاں  نبی  سے  پہلے  ال  لگانے  کا  مطلب  ہے  خاص  نبی،  یعنی  حضرت  محمد  صلاللہ  علیہ  وسلم۔  یہاں  گرائمر  کا  ایک  اور  اصول  اہمیت  کا  ہامل  ہے  اور  اسے  نوٹ  فرما  لیں۔

صوت  ایک  اسم  ہے  (اردو  والا  اسم،  جسے  ہم  انگریزی  میں  ناؤن  کہتے  ہیں)۔  اسی  طرح  نبی  بھی  اسم  ہے۔  عربی  میں  اگر  دو  اسم  ساتھ  ساتھ  آئیں  اور  پہلے  اسم  کے  ساتھ  ال  نہ  لگا  ہوا  ہو  مگر  دوسرے  اسم  کے  ساتھ  ال  لگا  ہوا  ہو  تو  ترجمہ  کرتے  ہوئے  کا،  کی  یا  کے  کا  اضافہ  کرتے  ہیں۔  یہاں  صوت النبی  کا  مطلب  ہوگا  نبی  کی  آواز۔  اور  فَوقَ  صَوتَ النَّبِیِ  کا  مطلب  ہوگا  نبی  کی  آواز  پہ  فوقیت  دینا،  یا  نبی  کی  آواز  سے  زیادہ  بلند  کرنا۔

اسی  آیت  میں  اگلے  الفاظ  ہیں  وَلَا  تَجھَرُوا۔  یہ  تو  ہمیں  پتہ  ہی  ہے  کہ  و  کا  مطلب  ہے  اور،  اور  لا  کا  مطلب  ہے  نہیں۔  اب  ہم  تَجھَرُوا  کا  مطلب  دیکھتے  ہیں۔  لفظ  تَجھَرُوا  کو  توڑ  کر  ہم  ت ۔۔ جھر ۔۔ وا  لکھ  سکتے  ہیں۔  ہمیں  یہ  بھی  پتہ  ہے  کہ  اگر  لفظ  کے  شروع  میں  ت  آجائے  تو  وہ  لفظ  کو  مضارع  بنا  دیتا  ہے،  اور  اسکا  مطلب  تو  یا  تم  ہوتا  ہے۔   جھر  عربی  کا  لفظ  ہے  جسکا  مطلب  ہے  اواز  کا  اونچا  یا  بلند  کرنا۔  جن  نمازوں  میں  امام  صاحب  بلند  آواز  سے  قرآٔت  کرتے  ہیں،  انہیں  جھری  نمازیں  کہتے  ہیں۔  اسی  لفظ  کے  آخر  میں  وا  آرہا  ہے  جسکا  مطلب  ہے  کہ  لفظ  جمع  پڑھا  جائے  گا۔    یہنی  تَجھَرُوا  کا  مطلب  ہوگا  تم  سب  آواز  بلند  کرتے  ہو،  اور  پچھلے  الفاظ  کو  جوڑ  کر  پڑھا  جائے  تو  بنے  گا  وَلَا  تَجھَرُوا،  یہنی  اور  تم  سب  آوازوں  کو  بلند  نہ  کرو۔

اگلا  لفظ  ہے  لہُ۔  یہ  لفظ  بھی  دو  الفاظ  کو  جوڑ  کر  بنایا  گیا  ہے۔  وہ  دو  الفاظ  ہیں  ل  اور  ہ۔  ہمنے  پچھلی  کلاس  میں  دیکھا  تھا  کہ  ہ  کا  مطلب  ہے  وہ  ایک  مذکر۔  یہاں  ل  کے  استعمال  کو  سمجھنا  پڑے  گا۔

ل  دو  طرح  استعمال  کیا  جا  سکتا  ہے۔  ل  کے  استعمال  کو  لام  تعلیل  یا  لام  لازم  کہتے  ہیں۔  لام  تعلیل  کا  مطلب  ہوتا  ہے   ‘ کے  لئے ‘۔  لام  لازم  کا  مطلب  ہوتا  ہے  ‘یقیناّ’۔  لام  کا  استعمال  صرف  سیاق و سباق  دیکھ  کر ہی  پتہ  چلتا  ہے  کہ  یہاں  کونسے  معنی  پائے  جاتے  ہیں،  اور  ٹھیک  معنی  لکھنے  سے  ہی  صحیح  جملہ  تشکیل  پا  سکے  گا۔  یہاں  پر  لام  کا  مطلب  ہے  کے  لیئے۔  لہُ  کا  مطلب  ہوگا  اس  ایک  مزکر  کے  لیئے  یعنی  اسکے  لئیے۔

اگلا  لفظ  ہے  بِالقَولِ۔  یہ  لفظ  بھی  دو  الفاظ  کو  جوڑ  کر  بنایا  گیا  ہے۔  وہ  دو  الفاظ  ہیں  با  اور  القول۔  ہمیں  پہلی  کلاس  سے  پتہ  ہے  کہ  با  کا  مطلب  ہے  کے ساتھ۔   القول  بھی  دو  الفاظ  سے  بنا  ہے،  وہ  دو  الفاظ  ہیں  ال  اور  قول۔  ال  تو  صرف  خاص  کرنے  کے  لیئے  استعمال  ہوا  ہے،  اور  قول  کا  مطلاب  ہے  بات  چیت  یا  گفتگو۔  تو  بِالقَول  کا  مطلب  ہوگا  اپنی  گفتگو  میں۔ ۔ ۔

ابھی  تک  پڑھی  گئی  آیت  کا  رواں  ترجمہ  کرتے  ہیں۔ ۔ ۔

یَآیُّھَا الَّذِینَ  آمَنُوا  لَا  تَرفَعُوا  اَصوَاتَکُم  فَوقَ  صَوتِ  النَّبِیِّ  وَ  لَا  تَجھَرُوا  لَہُ  بِالقَولِ

اے  اہلِ  ایمان  اپنی  آوازوں  کو  نبی  صلی اللہ  علیہِ  وسلم  کی  آواز  سے  بلند  نہ  کرو  اور  اپنی  گفتگو  میں  انکے  حضور    اونچی  آواز  میں  نہ  بولو ۔ ۔ ۔

انشا اللہ  باقی  آیت  ہم  اس  کلاس  کے  حصہ  دوئم  میں  مکمل  کریں  گے۔  امید  ہے  آپکو  اوپر  لکھی  گئی  کافی  باتیں  سمجھ  آگئی  ہونگیں  انشا اللہ۔  اللہ  ہمیں  قرآن  پڑھنے  اور  سمجھنے  کی  توفیق  عطا  فرمائے۔  آمین۔

This calling out as Sir or Ma’am is not because those teaching us have been rewarded with that title, we do it just to show respect, something that a teacher deserves from students. Also, we don’t do it because we’re forced to respect our teachers, we respect them because they are our teachers. I mean, a teacher is to be respected, this is as simple as that.

I say this because recently I participated in a discussion about teachers being called out as Sir or Ma’am, and if this was a good gesture or not. One of the professors who spoke AGAINST the topic, although had all her arguments as totally valid and well thought out, still failed to convince me enough. I’m not too aware of where the word Sir was first used and in what context, but supposedly this is a colonial baggage and it fosters a servile attitude. I say, it definitely would foster a servile attitude if servility lies in your mind, why and how would someone mix respect with servility? And that too, a student to his/her teacher?

The professor made a point that respect is not given by insisting on a title that your addressee does not want. That’s where I totally agree with her, but she also said that she doesn’t want to be called Ma’am because that would make her feel like a member of some august house to which she does not belong. Above all, she also thought the Sir/Ma’am salutations were nothing more than apple-polishing :-(. She even used words like “…you do consume your DIGNITY when you stoop to address your senior by Sir/Ma’am” (Actual words, copied from one of her memorandums)

Professor it will be, if that’s what she thinks respect is. We respect our teachers, so we should learn to address them the way they want us to, but bearing in mind that the students have been through the Sir/Ma’am state of mind throughout their schooling, is it ok to expect them to forego their (good or bad?) habit of addressing their teachers as Sir/Ma’am? Although a professor definitely deserves to be called a professor, but is there REALLY something wrong with Sir and/or Ma’am? Are we really consuming our DIGNITY by RESPECTING our teachers?

A few days back, I received a couple of Urdu poetry messages, followed by the message saying “How are you Hafiz bhai?”. I replied that I am not a Hafiz and that he probably wanted to send his messages to some other number, but I also appreciated the poetry as it really was outstanding. I don’t know why, but he kept on insisting that I was Hafiz, and he sent a couple of more EXCELLENT poetry messages. Though I repeatedly told and ensured him that I was not the person he thought I was, but requested him to continue sending me the poetry, because he really did seem to have an excellent collection.

I asked him his name in the messages that followed and he told me his name was Shoaib. My mobile still has his name saved as Shoaib Anonymous :-P, but this person really made me go back to the days when I used to share poetry with my colleagues. Though I do receive poetry messages to this date from my X-colleagues, but the feeling isn’t what it used to be. This person, Shoaib Anonymous, has really revived that feeling. Shoaib Anonymous sends me more than one message of poetry on average every day, and I have a BIG collection of Urdu poetry once again :-)…

Mr. Qureshi received a call one day from a young lady who claimed to be the person who sat next to him in that speaker session. She told him she was sending him an email and that she wanted him to help her raise some funds. Mr. Qureshi has written a blog about that girl, and has also included her email in the blog. The blog can be found here. Though quiet lengthy, but the email really moved me. Mr. Faisal mentioned that the girl managed to raise approximately $15,000, where as she only asked for raising $1,200.

This email reminded me of one of my juniors at Lahore. This girl was totally blind and still had the courage and will to continue her studies and to become an Engineer Masha-Allah. One of the members of the Alumni Association of my University, when came to know about this, was willing to get all the brailed textbooks imported from the United States and donate them to her so that she could continue studying. The University administration also provided her with e-books and with software that could speak out text. She is now in her 3rd year of Engineering Masha-Allah.

Networking helps doesn’t it?

A few days back I had a discussion with a friend if guessing is really allowed in Islam or not. Although I consider it totally allowed but I didn’t have any arguments to support myself. My point is, why would it not be allowed? I mean you’re just taking your chance. May that be a random guess, or an educated guess. But the argument that my friend had was that we are doing something that we know isn’t correct. As in the answer we’re marking, we aren’t sure if that answer is really the correct answer. He said we should be true to ourselves and to our creator. If we don’t know the answer to a question, we should face it instead of guessing the answers. But does it really have to do anything with religion? I’m not too sure really…

That friend of mine gave me the example of himself. Whenever he randomly marked the answers, the results weren’t too good, and whenever he didn’t do any guesswork, the results were far better. He said this was because Allah is seeing us and HE knows if we’re being true or not. But how can we be untrue to ourselves if we put random answers and do guesswork? But frankly, I don’t have any references or arguments in favor of my argument. I only think guesswork should be allowed, in fact I think religion doesn’t have anything to do with it or does it?? I mean obviously whatever we do IS guided by our religion but why would guessing be wrong :-(. If I randomly answer a question that I don’t know, and suppose I get the answer right, doesn’t it mean Allah helped me? Or does it mean I foul-played?

Are we making our religion difficult for ourselves?