There is so much of this-n-that, which can be tied together into a theme–to bless, encourage and give others a reason to laugh or pause to think. When I have created various newsletters, I have greatly enjoyed locating material that suits the theme.

In one book, I found a story where Elisabeth Elliot shares a tidbit that she learned, while scraping to pay the bills. She writes that until she was in need, she had no idea that after she had squeezed as much as she could, there is still more toothpaste in the tube. So she cut off the lid and used every single bit of it.

Hmmm…think about that. Can you see it? Can you imagine cutting off the top with a sharp pair of scissors? Then can you imagine using it carefully, intentionally for another week or more? Can you imagine the joy of using it to the fullest, the feeling of being effective and efficient?

That is what God is calling us to step up to during this season, this generation, of our country. We are a nation of people, who do not take time to take stock. We do not know how to save, how to wait, how to pinch pennies or even have the humility to cut the top off our toothpaste. We are proud and often heedless.

So we hit a wall. We hit bottom. And in the process, I daresay, we GAIN insight. We are learning to wait, to save, to pinch pennies…and our pride? It’s not worth a thing.

Are you in a hard season? Do you feel discouraged about it?

Well, pray. Take stock. Ask friends to walk the journey out with you. Just like my friend Heather did yesterday morning, as we spent some goodly time together sharing our hearts, “dumping our brains”, and then praying with and for one another.  It is an effective way to take the next step forward, when you feel stuck.

Then begin to eek. Eek everything that God has for you IN SEASON–this exact season you are in. Utilize the gifts you receive in the midst of the hardship. Cause them to be known to others. Tell about the things that are stretching farther. Tell about the hearts of people, who are walking with you. Throw out all pride and SHARE your journey.

Perhaps there is someone out there at the bottom, who needs to know how to Eek. You have walked to the places you are walking FOR a REASON. Now Eek out every GOOD thing from this journey.

Then humbly, share it.

“It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
3 John 1: 3-4

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What love!  As I read these words, I am overwhelmed by what they communicate.  Paul uses words such as lavished, and riches, and grace to communicate the vastness and passion of God’s love for his children in Christ Jesus.  I am struck, because I don’t live there – basking in that love.  And I want to. 

But no, all I see is bleakness, stress, more things to do, more relationships in which I have disappointed, more relationships in which I have been disappointed, aches, pain, and brokenness.  Why is that all I can see, when God the Father has lavished his love upon me in Christ Jesus???

I want to see.  I want to take hold daily of this love that is already mine in Christ!  I want to live in it, in spite of what is going on in my life.  I want to know it more than the darkness that surrounds.  I want the power of that love to energize me to walk with great hope and faith even when I don’t feel it, even in the darkness.  I want to remember that God did not promise an easy life, there will be trials, there will be suffering, there will be sickness, this side of Heaven.  But he has given Christ for our redemption – therefore we belong to him, to God the Father.  And with him as our Abba, Daddy, we can walk any path because we walk in the strength that comes from knowing we are greatly loved by him.

And so, Paul prays for us, also in Ephesians 1, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”

He has given us much in Christ Jesus.  Choose to see.

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The thing about a good story is this–when I read it, it evokes emotion and transcends the normal everyday thinking that goes on in the on-going, thought conversation of my mind.  Somehow it lifts my thinking to a new plane.  This alone makes good reading.

Even if I disagree with the author, I believe that at least I have given consideration to other modes of thinking.  It is good to revisit those opinions, lining them up to scripture again, and assess whether those opinions I hold are based on truth.

But most of all, I love reading an author, whom I trust.  I am trusting them to weave the story.  Even when all goes wrong, I trust that the author will take that journey and make it an exceptional ride.

Some books I read, and am glad I read them–but will never read again.  Why?  Because in some way, I feel the author has let me down.  They were not trustworthy with my heart.

Then there are those books that are happy in a methodical way, but not stirring beyond the gladness that it ended and ended well (I call these books “Bubble Gum” books–satisfying to chew on until the flavor wears off. Still I like Bubble Gum once in awhile!).

Finally, there are those books, which divert my attention.  I read them slowly, so as not to miss on ounce of goodness.  They are the kinds of books, which I finish and happily sigh, and then I spend the next week thinking about what I loved about that book! These are books I revisit.  They become like dear, old friends to me–worth savoring and worth investing my time again and again.

So as I consider books and how I love them, I especially am riveted by this TRUST in an author.  And of course, it makes me think of God.  For, you see, He is writing our stories.  In our freewill, we are choosing the pathways, for sure.  But also, there is that element of God’s will and purpose for each of our lives. As the Author (and as a Gentleman), God comes in and weaves tales in our lives that are riveting, valuable and praiseworthy–and He lets us choose to accept the way He tells it or not accept it (which is another post altogether about disappointment, bitterness and feeling betrayed).  Some of the stories are quite hard, indeed. Yet, from those stories, He begins to create something marvelous and beyond our comprehension. He makes all things beautiful in their time!

It’s funny, too.  I seem to trust God for YOUR story with greater faith and fervor than I do MY OWN story.  There is something to be said there.  Something worth pausing for a moment and reflecting on WHY that is so.  Perhaps it is our investment in our own story–that we are unwilling to surrender it and distrusting how God might allow it to be woven. We want our names on the byline of the title page, too.  In fact, we want it FIRST.

All these thoughts have been stirring in my mind…and I consider the WHAT IF’s.

What if we surrendered our story to God and let Him write it?

What if we believed with all our hearts that God is really and truly FOR us?

What if we stopped the grumbling and arguing and simply began to rest all our weight upon the fact that this particular Author is also the One, who created us, loves us unconditionally and is unrelenting in His ardent and gentle care?

He doesn’t place any of us characters aside with suspicion, prejudice or disfavor.  He knows us intimately.  He weaves wonderfully. He knows the end of the story.

So my challenge for you today is to consider your story–the high-highs and low-lows. Surrender your story to your Abba, who does all things wonderfully and well.

HIS is a story worth re-reading.  Take time today…and be as fervent trusting the LORD with your story, as you do for others.  It’s okay to HOPE for a good ending, because it IS a good ending.

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It really is okay if the table isn’t sit like you normally do it, or the towels are folded in halves instead of thirds.  But I have to also be honest…as a true “Martha”….when someone else does the laundry or works in my kitchen, I have a tendency to re-do what has been done after they leave.

I have this thought that my way is better; the way I’ve always done it is the best method.  I mean, for generations the towels have been folded into thirds…not halves.

 Of course, the closets were rather small way back then, a lot smaller than the ones I have now.  Maybe, just maybe, the reason they folded the towels into thirds was because that was the only way they would fit into the cabinet.  Now that I have these huge cabinets, it really is okay just to fold the towels in half…there’s plenty of room.  Yea…then why do I keep folding them into thirds?

Because that was the way I was taught, the way I’ve always done it.  Not wrong, but maybe not necessary now, or not in relation to where I’m at now.

In my lifetime I’ve sat in a few hundred church business meetings growing up as a deacon’s daughter.  I’ve actually heard people say “well, we’ve never done it like that before” in response to a proposal to try something new within the church’s ministry.  I’ve watched good ideas go unsupported simply because church members weren’t willing to try something new, something different.  So the church continued on, doing what they always did, always getting the same result.

Recently, during my Bible study, I skimmed a passage simply because I had heard it preached lots of times and I had read it before…I didn’t think I could get anything new out of truly studying it again.  As I read it, I found myself repeating all the things I had been taught before.  But God started speaking to my heart and leading me to experience the passage in a completely different way, relating it to where I am today.  Suddenly I was interpreting this Scripture differently than almost all the commentaries I studied and any preaching I had heard on it.

That scared me because I’m not a Bible scholar; I’m not smart like those guys.  I haven’t been to seminary or had any formal training in biblical theology.  So how they interpreted the Scripture must be the only way to interpret it.  Right?  I mean…it’s how I’ve always interpreted the Scripture in the past…the way some else told me to.

And I’ve always gotten the same result…not understanding it (in this particular case).

So this time I allowed God to speak to my heart as I truly dug into the Scripture and I let Him tell me how He wanted me to interpret this Scripture.  I’ll be honest, it’s been hard to unthink what I’ve always thought, to think outside the box, to see a new way…to support that new way.

So you are probably wondering what Scripture it was and if you read my personal blog, HolyCamp, you might have some idea.  It’s Job 2:9 regarding the response to Job’s wife to all their trails.

 His wife said to him, “Do you still retain your integrity?  Curse God and die!” (HCSB Job 2:9)

You’ve probably heard or read the same teachings on Job’s wife that I have…she encouraged Job to do exactly what Satan said he would do, she was bitter, she was foolish, she was another form of a curse upon Job simply because when he had lost all – he was left with her.  You’ve heard these, right?  Me too and I have said most of them based on past teachings.

Then I read Job with an open heart and mind, dare I say…a woman’s heart & mind.  I tried to figure out who Job’s wife was based on what little information we are given.  I made a case for her not being a foolish woman, but being a woman of high moral beliefs based on her husband’s character.  I backed up that thought process with Scripture and with God’s own description of Job.  I saw that while it was Job that Satan attacked…it was also his wife who suffered.

My line of thinking doesn’t mesh with what others think, they probably think I’m wrong.  But God has not let me leave this passage until I fully grasped what was going on, until I could fully comprehend, sympathize and understand Job’s wife…the words she spoke and the words spoken to her.

I’ve had to let go of the “it’s never been taught like that before” attitude.  I’ve had to embrace the fact that God speaks to each person individually, uniquely through the Scriptures.  I’ve had to accept that commentaries and the notes in study bibles are not the same as the God-breathed Words of the Bible.  Those are just well educated, opinions of men (mostly men…we do have some women now writing for commentaries).

More importantly, I’ve had to realize that maybe the old ways aren’t always the best ways…even when it comes to interpreting Scriptures.

The result….I’ve walked away different, better, stronger than ever before and isn’t that what Bible study is about?

Don’t be afraid if God speaks to you differently through the Scriptures than He does others.  But let me also offer a word of caution….be able to back up this interpretation with Scripture…not just a gut feeling.  You’ll note that I said “almost all the commentaries” followed a different line of thinking for this particular verse.  There were some that also leaned toward my thought process, so it wasn’t a totally new idea, just not as widely accepted.

I challenge you…fold the towels in halves…it really will be okay!

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“I should be able to handle this now.  Everybody else can handle their stuff.   So I just need to handle it but I am so stressed out!”

At that moment, I realized – I am just like her.  I think I should be able to handle the stresses and difficulties of life on my own.  I see everyone else “making life work”, so what’s wrong with me that I can’t?  I should be capable.  I should be able to handle it.

But I can’t.

When life gets overwhelming, I run, just like my friend used to, to another “savior”.  It can be anything – I am quite creative.  But whatever it is, it dulls the pain and postpones the inevitable – but it doesn’t save.  In fact it draws me further away from my true Savior.  The one who calls me to Himself.  The one who enables me to persevere in even the most difficult circumstances.  The one who promised to walk with me down every path of life he calls me to. The one who said, “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.(Matt. 11:28-30)”

There is no other Savior as loving as Jesus.  There is no other savior as kind as Jesus.  And there is certainly no other savior as worthy as Jesus.  He has proved himself again and again, but his ultimate proof was his willing giving of himself on the cross to do that which we are completely unable to do for ourselves.

Run to him and find rest for your weary soul.  You don’t have to handle it – I don’t have to handle it. He has for us.

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“ Mom will you please lay down with us?”

“Mom, you have to lay down with me, too!” 

and pretty much each night I do. We are going to sleep these days to the melodious sounds of DC Talk. Each boy gets one song ( unless I inadvertently fall asleep…ahem) to drift off to dream land. Usually, it doesn’t even take the entire song.

There are many nights when I have to choose to stop and do this. I have so many other things that need to be done. Good things. It’s a good thing to clean the kitchen at night. It’s a good thing to make sure we have clothes to wear for the next day. Some days, for my sanity’s sake, it’s a good thing for me to sit and watch a favorite tv show. Threw that one in just in case you thought all my “good things” were so noble as the first two.

I am sure you have your list of “goods” as well–especially if you are a single mom. I have had a few nights here recently when my husband’s work schedule had me solo parenting. Many of you have the same situation. Many of you are single moms for other reasons. Whatever the cause, time is precious to a single mama. She has much to do and not much time to do it in. The list of “goods” doesn’t just battle for the time of mamas, but of so many of us just as women. We have “good” things that need to be done that limit our time with others. Time that they may so desperately need and we will be called to lay down. When that girlfriend calls and you can tell her heart is heavy, but you were just on your way to do this or that. When your aging parents require a trip to Wal-Mart, a trip you know will take an entire afternoon that you really just don’t feel like you have to spare. When that neighbor needs to be run here or there, calls you last minute to see if you can facilitate him or her, and completely changes your plans for the one day you had off.

There are lots of “good” things that we need to be doing. Scripture tells us to keep doing the good (Galatians 6:9).  It does not, however, tell us to get caught up in it. The Word does not tell us to place doing the “good” above all else. Above love. Above relationship. Above investing into others.

This week I have been to a fundraiser for a father of 3 fighting cancer. His list of “goods” has probably changed. This week one of the boys in the AWANA group I work with lost his mom to cancer. His “good” is different now, as is his entire family’s. You have similar experiences I am sure. The family whose child requires more than they ever thought. The couple fighting for their marriage. The spouse carrying the load of the family, due to some injury or illness that has come upon his or her loved one. All of their “good things” they thought needed to be done before have changed.

What I pray for us all is that it doesn’t take a major event to put our “good” things into perspective. I pray we would have hearts that seek what God esteems above what we think He does. I pray our desire to be seen as a good friend, a good mother, a good wife, a good whatever doesn’t trump the very ones we are trying to be good to.

While we continue to do the “good” things on our list, as we should, Lord helps us to remember what You desire. Give us sensitive spiritual ears to hear the nudgings of Your Holy Spirit that we may know when to lay down our “good” things for holy opportunities, no matter how small they seem to us, You place before our feet and hands.

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Do you have any situations in your life that you find especially challenging? I certainly do. They’re not the kind of challenges I ever expected to encounter, either.

So what do you do? That’s an honest question ~ I don’t have the answer. All I know is that when everything in my life seems to be one gigantic mountain of a challenge after another, I have to work really hard not to get discouraged. Or to give up. Or to blow up.

Striking a balance can be very difficult. There are a couple of things that are easy enough to do that can help:

• Listen to praise and worship music. It doesn’t matter what kind of praise and worship music ~ from hymns to rock ‘n’ roll genre, it makes no difference. Listen to what you like, what moves you, what uplifts you and reminds you that we worship a very big God.

• Read and/or recite Scripture that speaks to you. Different Scriptures can apply to different situations. For example, when my temper begins to flare and I feel as though I may explode, it usually helps me to remember the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

• Step back, take a moment and a couple of deep breaths. Talk to God for a moment ~ in your head is fine, or you can say a quiet prayer. He hears you, whether your prayer is spoken or unspoken.

• Remember that everyone goes through rough patches ~ some patches are rougher than others, and some people have many more rough patches than others. Nonetheless, we all have them.

• Confide in a friend, mentor, spiritual leader or pastor. Choose someone who you know to be wise and trustworthy.

• When people ask how you’re doing or what’s new in your life, it’s not necessary to tell them all of the details. Be genuine, but remember it’s okay to simply say you’re facing some challenges and would appreciate them remembering you in their prayers.

• If you’re comfortable with sharing the details, do so.

• Do your best to drink plenty of water, get the right amount of sleep, eat well and get some exercise. If that means skipping your mid-day Ding Dong or Twinkie fest (and I only say that because I am guilty of those!) and taking a walk around the block, do it. Small steps are better than no steps.

Will doing the above suggestions get rid of your problems or challenges? Probably not. But they might help you to deal with them better, get some perspective, shed some light, and restore at least a small amount of peace in your head, heart and soul.

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When I got married, I adored my husband. I was sure he was the right man for me. He was my best friend. He was funny. He loved and protected me.

But marriage didn’t end up being what I was anticipating. I wanted my husband to love me for me, and it seemed that when we didn’t make love he got ticked off. And so I started challenging all my assumptions. I figured that Keith really didn’t love me–or at least he didn’t love me enough. And I thought that God was supremely unfair, because he made sex to be so fun for guys, but not for women. And then He made men want it all the time! Not just that, but He said that it was our responsibility to actually meet our husband’s needs. I figured people had been lying to me my whole life.

I was in that funk, off and on, for about three or four years. And then, gradually, the funk faded. It wasn’t just because sex got better. It wasn’t just because we got better at working out our problems. It was because I decided that I didn’t want to be miserable in my marriage. And it seemed to me that the only way to be happy was to start believing that the good things that I had heard about marriage and sex were true. Instead of questioning God, I turned the tables and started questioning my own experience.

This is true in many areas of marriage, not just sex. Ultimately, we need to believe that marriage is for our good, that God blesses marriage, that we can be happy, that following God’s precepts does make one more peaceful. But these are matters of belief–of faith.

If you feel that your husband doesn’t love you or talk to you enough, for instance, you can focus on that and become depressed and resentful. Or you can focus on God’s command to love and respect your husband, and to find your peace in God. And when we start to do that, often our marriage changes. When you start to act out love, the feelings often return.

The turning point in many marriages comes when a person decides to listen to God and believe. In other words, and this is so important:

The success of your marriage depends far more on what you believe about God than on how you feel about each other.

When you believe that God wants the best for you; when you believe that God created sex to be physically wonderful and spiritually intimate; when you believe that God will always be enough for you, even if you feel lonely in your marriage, then things get better.

The converse is also true:

Often the reason that we struggle in marriage is not because there is something wrong with our spouse, but because we don’t actually believe God’s promises.

Now obviously there are exceptions to this. If your spouse is abusive, or is having an affair, or is addicted to pornography, simply believing “God loves marriage, and if I cling to that these problems will disappear” is not going to help–although believing that God can give you strength and can be the source of your ultimate peace can help you take the right steps and seek the right counsel on what you should do.

But with many marriage problems, the issue is one of attitude far more than it is anything else. You’re believing things about your spouse, about sex, about marriage that aren’t true. When you can get your attitude in check, often the marriage starts to improve.

Recently, in church, our pastor was talking about The Battlefield of the Mind, and reminding us of 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

When it comes to marriage, your ultimate guide shouldn’t be your experience. It should be what God says.

I’m not saying that your husband is perfect. No one is. The question is, do you want to focus on the negative, or do you want to focus on the positive?

When you start despairing about your marriage, can you take that thought, hold it up to God, and ask, “what’s your perspective here? What are the promises you have given me?” When you start having really ugly thoughts about sex, can you take those, and hold them up to God, and say, “what do you say about sex? What do you say about whether it’s good or not?”

Sometimes God’s promises don’t seem real because we haven’t experienced them. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. It just means that often we CAN’T experience them until we first BELIEVE them. Marriage success is a matter of faith.

When I started saying, “Okay, the Bible says sex is great, God made it to be good for women, too, so obviously I must be missing something,” then our sex life improved dramatically. I became optimistic that it could get better, because I believed God. And that was the huge turning point for us.

This week, when you start to feel down, or resentful, or bitter, take those thoughts captive. Look at them, and ask, “what is God’s truth here?” Then act on His truth, not on your feelings. I truly believe that that is the key to marriages turning around.

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She blogs everyday at To Love, Honor and Vacuum.Sign up for her monthly marriage newsletter here!

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Like the blue bird–I saw one flit across the road in front of my car the other day.  He knows I look for them.  He knows I find hope for spring in seeing them.  He knows how I love the deep, rich blue color.  He knows I sigh, when I see them.

Or the first, new leaf-buds on our trees–my Heavenly Father knows how I search for them and long for winter’s end.  He knows I am like a kid in a candy store, seeing the new growth, springing fresh and new.  He knows that it never gets old for me.

When a tumbleweed blows across my path, God knows that I grin from ear to ear.  There’s something about a tumbleweed that I dearly love.

Or when the geese fly over, He knows I will turn off all sounds in the car (A/C or heater and radio) and roll down my windows.  He knows I strain to hear them honk.  He knows I watch for them all year-long.

He knows how I listen for the sounds of the first snow-melt in Rocky Mountain National Park, how the sound of an elk bugling makes my heart leap, how the breath of my children sleeping amazes me…He knows.

And sometimes, if we look and listen, we notice that He knows. For a tiny moment, we feel the nearness and fellowship of God, who walks with us daily and woos us to Him. I believe that is why being still and knowing that He is God is life-giving, life-renewing and subtle conversation with the Living LORD.  Nothing like knowing that He knows…us.

“THE HEAVENS declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork. Day after day pours forth speech, and night after night shows forth knowledge.”

Psalm 19:1-2 AMP

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1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

These verses were read at my wedding and I’ve reviewed them many times over the nearly 30 years of being with my husband.  Yet, they are more than words on how to have a successful marriage; they teach me how to love my children and how to teach my children to love each other.  For if love does not first appear in the closest relationships we have (between husband & wife, parent & child, sisters & brothers), how can we expect it to appear in relationships in the professional world, on the playing fields, in the school rooms, in the board room, or even on the highways.

As parents, we must teach our children patience.  Sometimes that means telling them no, even during the mist of a temper tantrum, allowing them to be angry at us instead of giving into their every wish.  We must teach them to be kind at home first, to their brothers and sisters and that kindness can overflow in how they treat neighbors and strangers.

Our love as parents protects our children from wrong decisions, false teachings, bad friends, and dangerous situations.  A parent’s love stands up for their children, giving hope when all seems hopeless and encouraging dreams when it seems dreams are lost.

At the end of our days, our children will not remember the party we didn’t let them go to or the toy we didn’t let them have.  They might even laugh fondly at the restrictions and groundings they were forced to suffer.  More importantly, our children will remember our love for them and how we, as parents, demonstrated to them the love of our Abba Father.

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