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  <title>Melody Shoat - Ambival.net</title>
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  <p>"The greatest poverty is not to live in a physical world, to feel that one's desire is too difficult to tell from despair."</p>
  <p>It's completely up to you how you spend your time, but I personally believe I'm a person who has done and made things worthy of attention... I just don't really care for the current state of the art of selling things or selves. I hold this page to prove (mostly to myself), in absence of the social networks that have failed us all, that I not only still exist but once did.</p>
  <p><a href=http://caspermyers.bandcamp.com>My Albums</a> - these are what I'm most proud of, even though they don't bear my name. I wrote, produced, did everything on those things, for better or worse, and I probably still enjoy listening to them from time to time more than anyone else on the planet, and I don't care, I think they're amazing, and I don't know how I did them.<br />
    <br />I put a selection of my Second Life shows which I already vetted a few years ago on <a href=https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/v3e3mt8rytzggdognv3v3/ALIEfuMwFr8dkWd0p1L8rwI?rlkey=mqm3dti1tvl58w0pwketadh0h&dl=0>Dropbox</a> - there are hundreds more but, I'll start vetting them when it comes around to 20 years anniversary of me starting there - for better or worse, that's what I did between the albums and YT lol.<br />
    <br /><a href=http://youtube.com/surlaroute>YouTube</a> - I come and I go in terms of energy I have for new covers but I think I might be in an upturn right now. You'll also find my yearly playlists on there, but I ultimately plan to put those on here too when I find the time.<br />
    <br /><a href=https://letterboxd.com/surlaroute/reviews/>Movie Reviews</a> - the closest thing I have to a blog now. I'm also in the process of putting together (actually, many are put together, again, I'm just in the process of double-checking) yearly archives and possibly other collections that I'll publish for free and upload here as PDFs.</p>
  
  <p><a href=angelleaves23.pdf>Angel Leaves</a> [2000] - I can barely read it now, but it was the beginning of a couple of characters that continue to save me inside, and there's still some stuff in it that makes me giggle.<br />
    <br /><a href=angellanding19fix.pdf>Angel Landing</a> [2021] - equally in need of work but, came in such a burst of passion I find it hard to return and fix. There's a lot more in this that I feel proud of, even though it doesn't come together in the end. It made me feel like I could write again. I mirrored many scenes from Leaves so, it will make more sense if you read the first (but I don't know if I recommend that, lol.)</p>
  
  <p> I almost forgot... <a href=poetry.pdf>my poetry</a>. Some of these, I'm really proud of too. Some of them, not so much. But, I can't be arsed to split the PDF I made 10 years ago into parts. All or nothin'. Please take everything on this page in the time they were created. Have a brain and try to understand. That's really all I care about. Connection in context.</center>
<p>Fuck it... <a href=http://instagram.com/mx_melody>Instagram</a> and, for what it's worth, <a href=http://twitter.com/surlaroute>Twitter</a> (Yes, Twitter, the day that url stops working is the day I'm truly done, which as you'll see I almost already am...) - those are the two places you can actually contact me if you really need to, but I can't guarantee a response and it may take me a very long time. But I am there when I wanna be.</p>


<p>(<s>three</s> four! more screenplays I left till last 'cos they're really the least of it all... <a href=http://ambival.net/thelonghaul.pdf>The Long Haul</a> I like but not as much as my Seavale girls... <a href=http://ambival.net/jack_pop_aka_apologies.pdf>Jack Pop aka Apologies</a> a total rip-off of Grosse Pointe Blank I'm assuming I wrote in 1997/8... (actually? completely forgot about that one? I was looking for the next one, which for a moment I thought I'd lost... here we are...) <a href=http://ambival.net/absolution.pdf>Absolution</a> - a variation on the same theme veering toward John Woo circa Face/Off with Hitchcockian influences... and finally, the first thing I wrote that exists, a short film, <a href=http://ambival.net/sightunseen.pdf>Sight Unseen</a>.)</p>
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