A Merry Life - The Pursuit of Healthy & Happy

PMDD, Depression, & Dealing With It

Mary — Mon, 21 May 2012 18:31:48 +0000

Lately I’ve been feeling down. Beyond down actually.

I haven’t felt this bad for years. For a couple days I thought I was falling into a major depression but now I think it’s actually just stronger PMDD symptoms than I normally deal with.

I’ve mentioned before that I have PMDD. I was diagnosed in high school and put on zoloft for a while because the depression symptoms that came with it were so bad it was hard for me to control my mind for half the month. I hate being drugged so I eventually figured out how to exist without drugs with the help of exercise, healthier eating, therapy, and just dealing with the stronger depression and anxiety that rolled around every month.

This time I haven’t done a great job with any of those things. For the last week or so I’ve been fighting the depression and anxiety and losing.

Since I haven’t exercised regularly in a month or so (has it been that long?) and haven’t been eating well, my symptoms are worse than I’ve dealt with since high school.

I’ve been overly anxious, depressed about everything, avoiding people I love (or picking fights with them), eating out of control (which only feeds both the anxiety and depression), tired all the time, unable to sleep or even to care about much at all.

In short, I’m a mess right now.

I know why this is happening since I’ve been diagnosed before and logically I can clearly see what is happening to me. But inside it’s hard to get to that type of meta thinking when my brain is working this way.

Sometimes it helps me to go back to the information on the internet to remind myself that I’ve got a real diagnosed problem and I’m not just crazy for feeling like I do. Five or more of the following symptoms must be present to diagnose PMDD, including one mood-related symptom, and here is what I’m dealing with now:

Disinterest in daily activities and relationships
Fatigue or low energy
Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts
Feelings of tension or anxiety
Feeling out of control
Food cravings or binge eating
Mood swings marked by periods of teariness
Panic attack
Persistent irritability or anger that affects other people
Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain
Problems sleeping
Trouble concentrating

Um, crap, right? No wonder I’m a mess.

Other than anti-depressants which I’m trying to avoid, my options are a healthy lifestyle and therapy. I’ve done both and they usually help a lot. Normally the symptoms aren’t nearly this bad. Since I’ve been eating like crap lately and not exercising beyond a couple bike rides last week it’s pretty clear to see why I’m feeling the way I do. Exercise is my prescription but lately I haven’t been taking my medicine.

It scares me though, to be like this. After my half-sister Toni lost her battle with depression I always get really nervous when I notice these types of feelings and thoughts creeping up in myself. I loved her but I don’t really want to go out like that. At least I know in the back of my mind that with PMDD at least the symptoms will pass in a week or so and if I’m careful they won’t get this bad again.

Still, I get worried.

Right now blogging is part of my therapy. It’s reminding myself that this will go away and I get to bounce back to feeling what I consider normal and happy.

I just have to wait this out and remember it’s not permanent. Then I need to get back to doing what will make me feel better and have a better experience next month when my crazy hormones declare war on my body. Exercise, better food, and therapy it is. Wish me luck. ;)

This is a bit of a downer/vulnerable/scary post for me. It helps to get this kind of stuff out and work through what is happening so I can fix it and move on. No mean or negative comments will be tolerated, just a heads up. I appreciate all the supportive comments though and even just those of you who read. It means a lot so thanks!

PMDD, Depression, & Dealing With It is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Bike To Work Day

Mary — Sat, 19 May 2012 00:32:18 +0000

Today I biked to work for the first time since I’ve been in Memphis!

It also coincided with national bike to work day. Yesterday I got the flat tire on my bike fixed. So I started off this morning with a new tube, tires full of air, and a cute easy-to-ride bike.

Twenty minutes later I made it to work! It’s roughly 4 miles from my apartment to work and I got stopped at a bunch of stoplights.

Not too bad!

I’m lucky to live in a nice location that is close to roads that I can easily ride to work. There were bike lanes for part of the way and the rest of the way had super wide lanes perfect for a car and a bike. It felt relatively safe and easy as well. My only problem was a few slips on the trolley tracks… those things are annoying on a bike!

At lunch I walked over to the Bike To Work Day festivities at Court Square to pick up my swag bag and get lunch.

Since Fuel Food Truck was there again I stopped by and finally got some bison tacos.

Which were amazing. Seriously. If you live in Memphis track that truck down and get yourself some bison tacos. You are welcome.

Afterwards I looked through my bag from the Bike To Work Day thing (you got one if you registered through their website). You had a choice of a lunch box bag or a messenger bag and I chose lunch box.

It was packed full of goodies:

My favorite things: the koozie lunch box, a tire patch kit, and a bell. All things I actually wanted and/or needed! I can’t wait to put the bell on my bike.

Downtown Memphis did an amazing job with this. I saw so many people with bikes Downtown and it really made me happy. With the awesome growth of cycling in Memphis I bet it will be even bigger and better next year!

The plan for me is to now bike to and from work whenever the weather forecast looks decent (no storms and such). Woohoo!

Bike To Work Day is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Something More Permanent

Mary — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:44:55 +0000

Do you ever feel so busy that you can’t get a real grasp on anything? Things are slipping through the cracks?

That feels like me right now.

I feel like there is so much going on I just can’t keep up. Blogging is a pretty low priority for me so it’s been on the back burner for the most part. That’s a shame sense it’s actually a huge stress relief for me!

Things feel like they are going super fast and everything is in transition at the moment. From where I live to work to how I exercise… you get the point.

I’m used to this type of thing. I have segmented my life into 2, 3, or 6 month segments for years now. Three months living in Vermont, four months living in Austria, two months living in Oregon, five months in Tennessee, six months in New Zealand…. since I’ve started blogging I’ve bounced around every few months. I’m used to being more of a nomad than a permanent citizen anywhere.

I’ve felt temporary and in flux for so long. I know things always change and I’ve accepted that and flowed with it better than most people, but right now I’m not loving it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun. I’ve seen more of the world and had more awesome experiences than I ever dreamed I would. It’s been amazing, but I’m craving something more permanent. A city that I’m planning to stay in for a while. A place to stay for a few years instead of months. Roots. Family. Stability and permanency.

It’s something I’ve been craving for a while now. Getting married and thinking about starting our own family has made me want to have a place to call home. It’s made me want to have more than just what fits in suitcases for the next move.

Maybe it’s not surprising to you based on what I’ve been blogging lately, but I’m moving back to Memphis.

Yes, with Kepa. No, not right now. Yes, hopefully this year. Yes, I’m going back to New Zealand still.

This is more of a change in long term plans. I love my family and want to be closer to my mom since she has cancer and is getting up there in age (sorry Mom!). I love my job and want to work in my office instead of a room by myself. I love my city and want to be part of making it a better place with people who want to be here.

So Kepa and I made the decision together to choose Memphis over New Zealand at least for the foreseeable future. It will be a chance for us to actually start a regular type of married life and have a more permanent living situation together. You know, ‘cause I actually like living with my husband!

I’m still going back to New Zealand in July and will stay for a bit. I plan to go snowboarding and road trip the South Island and do a bunch of other things off my list before leaving again. It will be fun!

That’s the plan for now! But remember, like I mentioned, things are always changing.

Something More Permanent is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Fresh Approach to Changing School Lunches

Mary — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:06:01 +0000

Tonight I ate a cookie.

It wasn’t a normal cookie though. It was one of those healthy cookies. The kind with less fat, less sodium, less of all the bad things yet it still tasted great. It was also the kind of cookie they have started serving in Memphis City School.

Cool, right?

Tonight I went to Community Foundation of Greater Memphis to watch the documentary Cafeteria Man. The film is about improving school lunches which falls into one of the Community Foundation’s main initiatives of healthy eating, active living.

The film follows the work of Chef Tony Geraci in Baltimore schools as he worked to change the way school lunches and other meals were served. The film was fascinating and it was awesome to see the changes he made in Baltimore during his time.

Based on the video he focused on great things:

buying food local from farms in the state/area

bringing food from farm to table instead of prepacked trays

providing fresh whole foods to kids at each meal

embracing urban agriculture and farming even at the schools

teaching kids to grow food themselves

teaching kids to cook food that they’ve grown

the end goal of producing a healthy student ready to learn

The above photo is actually Memphis kids in a Memphis garden. Chef Tony Geraci is now the new director of Nutrition Services for Memphis City Schools. He is working here to create the same kind of changes to improve the quality of school food.

After the movie Tony Geraci was there to answer some questions and talk more about what he is doing in Memphis since the movie was focused on Baltimore.

Cool things happening with school food and nutrition in Memphis:

Breakfast in classrooms is now at 71 schools. Last year it was at zero. This rocks because as he mentioned it’s hard for kids to learn if they are hungry or jacked up on sugar so this kind of program is a type of readiness for learning.

Geraci runs the program like a business. He makes sure they save money from the budget and he listed several projects currently running that do this. For example he is putting 200k into a few dozen acres to grow food and that will create 1.2 million in produce utilizing a prison-farming program.

Grahamwood Elementary school created a hoop greenhouse garden that is producing food actually being eaten at their school and a couple others. It’s one of the first of several gardens planned. Hoop farms can provide food and also be a great teaching tool.

New point of sale system that allows parents access so they can see what their kids are getting each day. It will also allow blocks (no cookies for example) or reminders to get at least 3 salads a week (and a message pops up if that isn’t happening so the kid has to get one).

Trucks of food ready to cook and already prepared (cut, washed, etc.) go out from the central kitchen to the schools. Food is actually cooked at the school instead of just reheating trays a prepackaged food.

People are parents in Memphis have been really supportive so far.

My favorite quote of the night: “If you eliminate the crap, they can’t order the crap. “

I really found the movie and the talk afterward fascinating. It’s a popular and sometimes controversial topic these days but things really do need to change. I remember the school lunches I used to eat and … they were bad. Really bad. I’m pretty sure I never ate a salad until college and vegetables were rare because they always looked so disgusting. It’s awesome to see that the choices are getting better and giving kids now a better chance at being and staying healthy and ready to learn.

What were your school lunches like as a kid? What improvements would you like in schools today? Meatless days? Fresh foods? More/less choices?

Fresh Approach to Changing School Lunches is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Bike Collector

Mary — Tue, 15 May 2012 04:11:05 +0000

I started the day with zero bicycles and no intention of getting any.

Somehow I ended the day with two bikes.

And I’m still not biking to work tomorrow.

That is mainly because I don’t know if I would even make it on the bike that works. Who knew bikes without gears were so tough to ride? I’m going to have to build up to that since taking so much time off biking has left me as a total pansy.

Other things I collected today: tiredness and headaches.

Goodnight.

Bike Collector is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Food Truck Rodeo in Memphis

Mary — Sun, 13 May 2012 18:53:17 +0000

First, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! Happy Mother’s Day to my mom who is awesome and all the other amazing moms out there. I hope the day is amazing and you are celebrated and cherished.

Second, let me tell you about the food truck rodeo that happened in Memphis on Thursday. Sure this blog post is a little late but I’ve been busy!

The new Memphis Food Truck Alliance was created recently to unite the various food truck operators to help support and market the members. Memphis is new to food trucks and only last year started allowing them to operate. I think right now there are around 50 or so in operation and I’ve seen maybe a dozen of them, most at the Food Truck Rodeo on Thursday.

By the time thursday rolled around I couldn’t contain my excitement!It started at 11 a.m. and we left around 11:45 to walk the couple blocks to Court Square where the food truck rodeo was happening.

When we got there things were in full swing and several trucks had rather long lines. It seemed that Revival Southern Food and Fuel Cafe were very popular and had the longest lines.

After checking out several of the menus at various food trucks I decided to get in line at Fuel Cafe’s food truck. They had bison tacos that sounded interesting!

Unfortunately everyone else had the same idea that I did. The line was very long so it crawled along slowly. Lucky for us it was a beautiful day.

Then, five people before I got to order they ran out of bison. After waiting twenty minutes (or more?) in line I had to switch my order to chicken tacos. They erased it right off the menu when I got close. It was a bit disappointing but I was also excited they were getting so much business.

When I finally got my chicken tacos, about half an hour after ordering them, but luckily they made up for the wait.

I love a good taco! The chicken was well flavored and taco worked perfectly as a whole with the veggies and warm corn tortillas. I was very happy to see the cilantro on top too! I added a bit of hot sauce and it was perfect!

After eating my tacos I went to get frozen yogurt from YoLo… except they weren’t taking credit cards. Yuck.

Overall the food truck rodeo was a bit disappointing. A few people on Twitter complained about waiting 1.5 hours for food and my coworker gave up after waiting and went to a local restaurant. I’ll give them a pass though because it was the first one and it’s hard to predict how big the crowd will be the first time you hold an event like that. Hopefully next time will be better.

I’d love for them to do it once a week downtown, maybe on Thursdays. I think it would be nice to have a revolving group featuring different food trucks every week.

The Memphis Food Truckers website will eventually include event listings where food trucks will be and a map tool showing exactly where food trucks are operating that day. As a food truck lover I’ve extremely excited about that!

Food Truck Rodeo in Memphis is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Life In The Office

Mary — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:15:19 +0000

This is me.

Today. And all week.

Being back in the office is fun but it’s a whole different lifestyle than living in New Zealand and working from home. There is definitely a lot more sitting. When I’m at home I’m usually standing to work a lot more than I do here since we are in an open office work environment and it’s just a bit weird.

I’m trying to stay healthy despite my increase amount of sitting.

I’m drinking more water. See that bottle in the photo? It’s big and I drink a couple of those a day.

We walk at lunch. It is awesome to have a couple coworkers who like getting out of the office for a short stroll.

I’ve brought my lunch multiple days! Saving money and being healthy all at the same time. Win.

I’ve also been crazy busy at work. That means doing the normal things like writing articles about social media and the more fun things like playing with our office dog.

That’s Sophie! She is the cute little furbaby of a coworker. She is spending the morning at the office and it’s so fun to watch her run around. She makes me miss JuJu even more!

Back to work for me now. I’ll be back at some point soon to share about the food truck rally that happened in Memphis yesterday at lunch. I love food trucks so the fact that Memphis has a food truck scene now makes me super happy. Post coming soon, I promise!

Do you work in an office? How do you stay healthy?

Life In The Office is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!