I Write Smutty Things

Well, it’s about that time …

amh — Thu, 04 May 2017 14:49:26 +0000

This really shouldn’t come as a surprise since I never update it, but I’m shuttering this blog. As I mentioned a few posts back, “I Write Smutty Things” is a bit of a misnomer, since I haven’t written anything smutty in ages, and while my intent was to keep this blog for reading smutty things there are only a handful of authors I actually read, and some of them have moved on to publishing on other platforms. I debated about having another catch-all blog, but to be honest blogging hasn’t been my thing since I was on blogspot.

In addition to that, I’ve started playing around with other platforms myself under a couple of different pen names and I’m enjoying trying new things versus the old way of slamming book after book after book out there. The likelihood of another A.M. Hartnett book is low, and if it happens it will happen first and foremost on a new platform like Tablo (I don’t have the discipline to do Patreon.) Short stories are far more likely.

This isn’t to say I’m disappearing from view. Far from it.

I’ll still be updating my other author blog as needed.
I’ll still be posting non-smutty stuff to Wattpad
I’ll still be reading on Goodreads (even if I do have huge issues with the site as both a reader and an author) if you’re hear for smutty book recs.
I’ll still be on Twitter and occasionally other social media listed at my other blog.
I plan to load everything I have written and have rights to on Tablo and also put them all into a couple of print editions (this is mostly for myself.)
I’ll keep my website up, though it’ll probably be redone to one single page with books and a few other links.
I’m also going to keep an eye out for anthologies I could submit to — I definitely enjoyed writing and submitting short stories over the last decade and would like to continue to do so as long as there are anthologies to submit to. I do have one coming out soon with the always fantastic Rachel Kramer Bussel, so follow me on Twitter or my other blog if you’re looking for an update on that.

BOTM – February & March

amh — Mon, 27 Mar 2017 14:04:33 +0000

I didn’t forget this time, I swear. I totally read a dirty book and I was going to add it as BOTM, but when March rolled in I instantly read another dirty book by the same author and I wanted that to be my Dirty BOTM for March, which meant I had to have two books by the same author and look like even more of a stalker (“The review is coming from inside the house!”) or I quickly read something by another author and be a total cheater. I did read Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas, but I can’t in good conscious call that a dirty book because I spent 99% of it swooning.

Luckily, Come To Him, as short as it was, is one of those books so good it deserves to take a slot for both February and March. No surprises to anyone who knows me, but I’m a massive Justine Elyot fan (“We’ve traced the call!”), and I have to pace myself when reading her stuff because eventually I’ll run out. Everyone is always so wonderfully perverted. In this one, Erin auctions herself off for a month as a sub. It’s not some silly “Oh dear, I need money for school and so I must do this icky thing with an incredibly sexy man” trope. Erin is already kinky and she knows it, and whether the winner is a Prince Andrew or a Prince Harry, she knows she’ll get some enjoyment out of it. After being whisked off to a private residence on a man-made structure out on the ocean (no, really), she meets her master-for-the-month and they get right down to business. Again, wonderfully perverted. The beauty of Justine’s stories is she doesn’t typically do bad boys — these are the men you would proudly bring home to the folks because he’s polite, cultured, looks good on paper, but of course have very specific tastes behind closed doors (or out in the great wide open, if they can get away with it.)

Come To Him. Buy it. Read it. Join me in stalking Justine’s future writing endeavours (but get your own closet to hide in, thank you very much.)

BOTM January – Phantom: The Immortal

amh — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 15:09:31 +0000

It was definitely my pleasure to read Phantom: The Immortal by Mitzi Szereto and Ashley Lister, though I’ll be honest in that I didn’t quite know what I was getting into with this before I started. Though my work featured in books by both Mitzi and Ashley, I hadn’t read anything they’d written before Phantom. I’ll certainly be checking out more from them in the future.

Before I get into it, I’ll say this: I do love a good Phantom adaptation, but they’re not easy to find. that’s not to say adaptations of Gaston LeRoux’s book are scarce, because there are a lot of them, but note I said a good Phantom adaptation. The majority are Mary Sue fanfics in which Erik meets yet another beautiful soprano in present day and it all begins again with some sex thrown in. Ugh.

Not this one. Oh boy, not this one.

It begins with a snippet from the diaries of Christine Daae in which she finally consummates her love affair with the unnamed Phantom, and then the story immediately introduces us to a new Christine at an auction house, where she both bids on Christine the First’s diaries and meets a new Compte. Through his string-pulling, she finds herself at the very same opera house where Christine I met her Angel of Music, and it doesn’t take long for Christine II to capture the Angel’s attention.

There’s so much to love in this adaptation. Giry, the descendant of Mme Giry, is a gay man with clear feelings for the Opera Ghost and, though obedient, doesn’t shy away from getting his digs in at Christine in the hopes of discouraging the Phantom’s infatuation. Like Christine I, this one is torn between the Compte and the Phantom, but unlike Christine Daae, it’s clear where this Christine’s true desires lie and her head isn’t turned by a pretty face and lots of money. My favourite part of this story is the Phantom’s background. I won’t give anything away, but I preferred this explanation to all others put forth, including the original.

As for the smutty bits, they’re not overdone. The Phantom’s penchant for bondage is there, but it’s doesn’t overrule all the other action in the book. Phantom: The Immortal is a fully-fleshed addition to Phantom-inspired literature, and while I do think it could have been longer, it was a welcome addition and a very fun read. I absolutely hope Mitzi and Ashley take on a few more of the classics together.