AmishRobot

Social Media is a Major Cause of the Mental Illness Epidemic in Teen Girls

Josh — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 16:50:58 +0000

We are now 11 years into the largest epidemic of teen mental illness on record. As the CDC’s recent report showed, most girls are suffering, and nearly a third have seriously considered suicide. Why is this happening, and why did it start so suddenly around 2012?

We sure seem to work hard to picture the world as worse than it really is to justify the mental health crisis. see Don’t be a doomer – Noah Smith

The way we have parented has reduced kids’ resiliency and then we threw a social media trap on top of that.

Pre-Social Media, maybe around 1999 or 2000 I did some, very unsophisticated, research for a psychology research design class. I surveyed a reasonably large sample of college students about their media consumption and their mental health. The survey was pretty granular and what I found was that there was no measurable impact from TV or movies or pretty much anything else, but fashion magazines had a significant negative impact on the self-esteem of women. I wondered at the time if that was because of the airbrushing and photoshopping that created unatainable beauty standards.

And as a society we just took all that and put it on steroids and then added the layer of being constantly judged by your peers. Pure poison.

There is one giant, obvious, international, and gendered cause: Social media. Instagram was founded in 2010. The iPhone 4 was released then too—the first smartphone with a front-facing camera. In 2012 Facebook bought Instagram, and that’s the year that its user base exploded. By 2015, it was becoming normal for 12-year-old girls to spend hours each day taking selfies, editing selfies, and posting them for friends, enemies, and strangers to comment on, while also spending hours each day scrolling through photos of other girls and fabulously wealthy female celebrities with (seemingly) vastly superior bodies and lives. The hours girls spent each day on Instagram were taken from sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family. What did we think would happen to them?
https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/social-media-mental-illness-epidemic

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Thu, 09 Feb 2023 23:44:28 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

I’m using an AI-generated portrait of Adrienne as a marker for the year when the Robot Uprising began. I assume that all future Adrienne Day posts will focus on her exceptional productivity in the lithium mines.

Last week I took Adrienne to a movie that I had already seen, but I was sure she would love. I’m really not much of a movie re-watcher, so I sat next to her in the theater mostly watching her watch the movie. She can’t hide what she’s feeling and she’s such an empathetic person that she feels it all, so I got to watch laughter and surprise and sadness and joy as the shifting light from the screen played across her face.

I wish I could have recorded it and sent it to the director and made his day.

I love how “all in” Adrienne is with every experience and every conversation. She never puts on a front of dispassionate coolness or hides behind an aloof mask. You always see what she feels, and it’s beautiful.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?

I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Thu, 10 Feb 2022 04:14:23 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

I just saw some research about age at marriage and its effect on happiness. Much to the disappointment of people who think it’s crazy that kids at BYU get married so young, age at marriage wasn’t a factor in marital happiness.

We are coming up on 24 years of marriage! Since neither of us is in our 50s (though my back is in its 80s), you can guess we are part of the young marriage statistics.

Here’s the crazy thing, In 24 years, we have never had a single fight!

Oh man, I could barely write that… I’m assuming that 99% of you got to that line and got super annoyed and stopped reading. That means it’s just me and you actual “never had a fight” sickos. What is wrong with you people? You baffle me.

I’m really good at fighting. In fact, I got mad this morning because when I told Adrienne that I had a rough time sleeping last night, she said, “I know,” but I knew that she was actually saying was, “I know, because you kept waking me up with your tossing and turning.”Some people, like therapists, might tell you that “mind-reading” is bad for relationships, but that’s only when you are a lousy mind-reader. I am super good at it, and I knew that’s what she actually meant, and that was not a perfectly sympathetic response. It also made me feel slightly guilty, so I was totally right to get mad. I’m super glad I did because you can’t let those sorts of things just slide by or who knows what kind of stuff she would try to get away with next!

Don’t worry; the fights aren’t one way. I bet I only start 85% of them. I don’t get away with it either. I love that Adrienne has plenty of fight in her. She’s the loveliest human I know, but she cares deeply, she’s no one’s pushover, and she’s as tough as could be! I have always secretly wished someone would maybe try and steal her purse, and Adrienne could haul off and punch them. She is supernaturally strong, and being knocked out by a 5’3′ woman would be a pretty great surprise for someone who deserved it.

My 2022 wish for Adrienne is a year with fewer things that require her to be so tough but, I promise you, she is up for the task.

Also, she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?
I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

Onward, Brave Cosmonaut!

Josh — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 00:43:41 +0000

I went to the dentist this morning to replace an old filling that had gotten sensitive and was driving me crazy. They offered me laughing gas and, not feeling excited about drilling out the old filling, I readily agreed.

A few years ago we had tried laughing gas and it just did nothing for me, so they turned it all the way up this time. I started noticing some effects, but nothing dramatic. Here’s what went through my head,

I mean, I can feel it a little bit, but is it really working? What is it supposed to really feel like? Like, am I feeling that it is starting to work but it’s supposed to be way stronger and when he starts drilling I’m going to wish I had been breathing more deeply? OK, I’m going to take super deep breaths!
Now I can feel it! Hmmm… this is making me super high. Maybe that’s too much and I shouldn’t be breathing sooo deeply?
No, you can’t quit. Onward, brave Cosmonaut!

And that’s how I knew the laughing gas was working just fine…

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Wed, 10 Feb 2021 00:54:54 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

Who would have thought that we basically wouldn’t have left the house since last Adrienne Day? Yes, it’s an exaggeration, but I wish it were a way more hyperbolic one. Because of some health issues, we’ve had to be very careful. We love to travel and explore, and that has all been seriously curtailed. It has sometimes felt like we are just living the same day over and over again.

We just watched the movie Groundhog Day. It’s fantastic. I have always believed that while you can’t necessarily choose everything that happens to you in life, you can choose how you respond to it, which can change your lived experience so much that it’s like choosing what happens to you – a lesson the main character painfully learns.

Groundhog Day is a masterpiece of existentialism, particularly in respect of the absurd element, with Connors claiming Sisyphus’s mantle of absurd hero. The film’s lesson is that we can escape from whatever dilemma we’re in by adopting the correct attitude. As Connors discovers, it’s a tough lesson; but to learn it is to gain the means to transcend the troubles of life.
https://philosophynow.org/issues/93/Groundhog_Day

Bill Murray’s character goes through a wild cycle of shock, delight at being somewhat omnipotent, and suicidal depression before he starts actually connecting with other people, particularly his love interest Rita. Those relationships not only make the endless cycle bearable but change him into a better man, finally freeing him.

Fortunately, I’m trapped in this Groundhog Day with Adrienne! She makes this bizarre time of life not only bearable but fun, and she definitely makes me a better man.

Also she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?
I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

Missed Opportunities

Josh — Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:50:15 +0000

Back in 2011 we were so naive.

THIS is how we told our kids we were going to have another baby? No explosions, nothing on fire… So lame! I’m not even sure we did anything for a gender reveal other than tell people who asked that we were having a boy.

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Sun, 09 Feb 2020 23:55:00 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

Story time…

In college Adrienne and I had been hanging out a TON but weren’t dating yet.

At the time I was playing volleyball for BYU on an incredible team. I’m not being falsely humble when I say that I was not incredible, but that team sure was. We would regularly set attendance records and were always a top ranked team. My teammates went on to win the National Championship, be All Americans, play professionally, and a couple of them even went on to win gold medals in the Olympics! My job on the team was mostly to give the actually good players someone to play against in practice and very very occasionally see some actual playing time in a game.

In spite of my very minor role on the team I had a weird experience with a girl who 100% only liked me because I was on the volleyball team. That’s something that sounded just fine to me in theory but in practice was pretty lame. So, even though we had been hanging out I didn’t tell Adrienne I was on the team.

OK, lets actually be honest, my aim in not telling Adrienne I was on the team was maybe 5% because of this experience and 95% how cool she was going to think I was when I dropped that bomb on her. Yeah, I know, I know. I was 21; cut me some slack…

One night Adrienne asks me what I’m up to this weekend:

“Oh, I’ve got a volleyball game.”

“Like an intramural game?”

“No, I’m on the BYU volleyball team!”

“BYU has a men’s volleyball team??”

I then tried to impress her by offering to put her on the guest list and get her into the game for free, but turns out she was busy that weekend…

I’m open to Adrienne debating some minor details of my recollection here, but nothing that materially changes how amazingly she shut me down! And, honestly, I loved it.

That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about Adrienne; she is totally non-pretentious. She is, in fact, allergic to pretension of any kind. If she likes or dislikes something or someone it is on its own merits. She couldn’t care less about impressing anyone, but I am still so impressed with her!

Also she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day? I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 05:35:19 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

OK, it WAS Adrienne day but I didn’t have a chance to post anything because we were too busy running around Maui and then taking a red-eye flight home. That’s a pretty good excuse though, right?

Every year my work (shout out to Podium!) sends the top sales people and top performers from other departments, along with a +1, on a celebratory trip. I get to go because I’m on the exec team, as much as I would like to credit it to me being a top performer…

I have to say, celebrating Adrienne Day in Maui seems like a pretty great new tradition!

One of the things we did in Maui was Snuba , a cross between snorkeling and scuba diving where your air tank is floating above you on a raft and your regulator is attached to it with a 15’ tube. I was really really excited about this, Adrienne was really really not. Adrienne is cant-wear-a-turtleneck level claustrophobic. Just putting on the mask on dry land makes her really uncomfortable. Add in a regulator in your mouth and being 15’ underwater…not fun.

Luckily, I am amazing at dealing with phobias or other things I find to be irrational. Well, as long as you think “That’s dumb. Just do it anyway and quit being bothered by it!” is helpful. In that case, I’m your man!

I may start charging for my patented therapeutic approach. Is there a food you don’t want to eat because it grosses you out? That’s dumb. Just eat it anyway and quit being a baby. Feeling super anxious about something? Knock it off! Anxiety sucks, so don’t get anxious.

Solved! You are welcome. That will be $500.
(Note: This does not work at all and I am a jerk for responding this way)

Adrienne was a champ to agree to try snuba anyway, but she said that she might bail out or just stay on the surface and that I should go on without her. The look in her eyes though the face mask made it pretty clear that this was not happening.

That’s why it was so amazing when I looked up to check on her again and instead of seeing her hanging out on the surface she was swimming down to me and soon enough we exploring the reefs together.

After our dive the guide was blown away, “I’ve never seen anyone make that big of a change before! That was amazing!” She was giddy. So was I. Adrienne is one of the bravest people I know.

Gliding across reefs 15′ underwater while holding hands is always going be a favorite memory.

Hey Paul Baribeau, would you mind telling Adrienne how I feel about her?

Strawberry – Paul Baribeau

To say that you are cute
Would be like saying that a strawberry is sweet
Because a strawberry has secret flavors
That are sharp, and tart, and red, and deep

And I would love to find you
Growing wild out by the woods
I would make a basket with the front of my t-shirt
And take home as many of you as I could

And to say that you are pretty
Would be like saying that the ocean is blue
Because the ocean is filled with all kinds of colors
And I see all kinds of things when I look at you

And I want to explore you
With my tennis shoes off
Standing ankle deep in a tide pool with my khaki pants rolled up

And to say that you are funny
Would be like saying that the night sky is black
Because the night sky is filled with stars and comets
And planets that no one has seen yet

And I want to look at you
Lying down on my front lawn
I’ll try to take you all in at once
But you just go on and on and on

Thanks Paul.

Also she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day?
I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

I love you Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Josh — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 19:33:54 +0000

It’s Adrienne Day!

Look how stinking cute she is! Somehow she’s stayed the same age and I have aged exponentially.

I rolled out of bed this morning and tried to walk quietly on my way to the shower so I didn’t wake her up. I caught my left toe on a shoe I left on left on the floor, but I didn’t even notice that because that toe has been numb since my first back surgery in 2005 – The Hammer of Spinal Repair (Adrienne wrote that BTW). My right knee creaked as I walked, I had surgery on that in 2001, and I’ve had a bit of a limp in my left leg since I blew up my back a year ago and had to have a spinal fusion…

I trimmed my beard, partly to clip off the rampant gray hairs that have sprung up in the past year, and I had to squint a bit as I did it because it seems to take my eyes a lot longer to focus than they used to.

And then you have Adrienne somehow getting younger and better looking by the day.

Some of this is just science — I’m 6’6” and she’s 5’3 (if we are being generous), so according to this article, “Larry Bird will die young. Just ask him”, I will live to be 50 and she will live to be two hundred and forty-five. Some of it is really just that she’s too tough to age — I can’t even keep up with her anymore when we walk or hike. Some of it is the dark rituals… but I’m not allowed to talk about those.

Don’t tell anyone, but Adrienne has some gray hair too. The difference is that her’s are super cute and perfectly symmetrical and the kind of thing that people go to the salon to have done.

There isn’t anyone I’d rather asymmetrically grow old with.

Also she is hot.

Take a minute out of your busy day and wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day!

Previous Adrienne Days

What is Adrienne Day? I hate Valentine’s day. It is a cheesy, commercial mess of a holiday. I can’t stand it. Adrienne, on the other hand, I love. So, when we were dating and Valentine’s day was approaching I decided to take control over my own holiday destiny and I invented Adrienne Day. I arbitrarily chose February 9th and we have celebrated it ever since.

Maracaibo

Josh — Fri, 14 Jul 2017 05:34:42 +0000

I lived in Venezuela from 94′ – 96′ and the Maracaibo sun burned a deep love of the place and the people right in to my soul.

I’m still regularly in touch with many people there, so it’s been absolutely heart breaking to watch the country implode and know so many people suffering.

Because he is my twin, it feels like Joe was able to suck memories and motifs right out of my brain even though he’s never been to Venezuela, and he wrote a song about the place that moved me to tears.

Your foot really will sink in to the asphalt in the maracaibo heat, and the enormous lake Maracaibo hosts a never ending lighting storm called catatumbo, which is a fitting metaphor…

http://amishrobot.com/wp-content/uploads/Maricaibo.mp3

Maracaibo

Crossing the street leaves tar on your feet
Not even the pavement can handle this heat
It's a push and a shove for the ones that you love
But the stores are all empty again
If you don't want to break, you're gonna have to bend
There's a lightning storm that never ends
You can't say what makes you stay
With the border less than an hour away
It bulges at the seams with all your hopes and dreams
But you can't bring yourself to leave
So if you don't want to break, your'e gonna have to bend
There's a lightning storm that never ends, it never ends
If you don't want to break, you're gonna have to bend
Because this lightning storm never ends, it never ends, will never end

(Joe wrote and played the song, and his preternaturally gifted daughter sang it. )