Am I Zombie Fit?

At the first sign of trouble - wind your windows down!

2013-02-17T19:44:00.001Z

I just watched a fascinating documentary about being trapped in a car in serious weather conditions. The best advice people who survived flooding and snow storms in their cars gave was to wind your windows down!

Sounds contrary but then the why is more understandable than you might think.

The big problem with being trapped in it car is that the electrics can fail at any given time. With most newer car models being all electric, you can easily find yourself trapped in a car you thought was a safe place to be!

If the electrics go, or the battery dies, then your main means of escape - the windows and sun roof - become shut tight! And before you can muster enough swear words to compensate, you're trapped inside a big metal box.

So in case of flooding- if you find yourself trapped in a car, open the windows (at least 6 inches to give you chance to push them open) so that you can get out alive and well should you need to!

And don't forget a spare pair of Wellington boots just in case.

PANIC! Snow Might Hit UK! Should've Stocked That Apocalypse Larder!

2013-01-18T11:19:00.001Z

I have a confession. I'm prone to a bit of panic. With all the weather reports telling us that the Beast from the East is gonna hit the UK with masses of snow, (isn't it coming from the west?!) I like to be prepared. I even get a little bit excited! So thank goodness we managed to get the extension and kitchen fitted just in time for weather chaos!

Since we've fitted our kitchen, I must say I do like my tall larder cupboards. Even at 3am when I was fitting all the drawers in time for Christmas, I was like a giddy school girl. "I can pull the drawer out and see all my baking products! Ha ha!" Very sad. Although you have to give me some credit as I had been cooking in a little space in the utility room on a camping stove for five months.

So hearing the news of thick, thick snow arriving on our shores, surely this is the perfect time to test out my new, aptly named Apocalypse Larder. I hit the shops yesterday and stocked up on the essentials (it was a lot busier than usual too) just in case we can't leave the house for a day or two. We wouldn't want to starve now would we?!

I've got plenty of flour and yeast to bake lots of bread. I've also been stocking up on four packs of tinned plum tomatoes when they are half price, cos you can never have enough tomatoes can you? Anyway, it's full as you can see. I think we might survive this snow.

Now I'm waiting. There's some old snow on the ground, but no blizzards yet. I can even still open the front door.

How do you prepare? Or do you just ride it out?

How Tom Hardy Trained To Become Bronson

2013-01-16T15:59:00.001Z

Well, it's a NewYear and like everyone else, I'm trying to train away all that Christmas flab (way too much cheese and chocolate). I'm not a gym bunny - never have been and never will - but according to all my friends who are, you cannot get near for all those who have made New Year Resolutions. Maybe February would be a better month to start at the gym.

So I've been back to bootcamp. But this time - it's very, very cold. We've been working hard. Lots of reps of all the old favourites like press-ups, squats, lunges, burpees (hate them), sit-ups - you know the kind of thing. We also do a lot of kettlebell work and bicep curls with dumb bells. Now being a lady, I'm beginning to worry that I'm starting to Hulk-out a bit. My shoulders are big enough as they are, but they are getting even bigger!

I was watching Lawless yesterday and started to think I was beginning to look like I had Tom Hardy's shoulders!

So, this is a insight into how Tom Hardy gained three stone (42lbs) in muscle for his role in Bronson. No gym required, as they based all the training on the fact that Charles Bronson was in solitary confinement for most of his prison sentence. If you want big and bulk, this one could be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ0lHEd9Eyg&sns=em

I think I will forget this January beach body workout, I want to look like a psychopath! Now that would scare a zombie off for sure (or I could just pull its head off).

I've got the fear! I need to run faster!

2012-05-31T22:13:00.000+01:00

Okay, so I've had some time off from getting Zombie Fit, but I've had good reason! Not only have I been convalescing after a foot op, we've been going through the arduous task of buying a new house and selling ours. And no nightmare can come close to the home buying process!

So, last Tuesday I was declared fit to start exercising again - 12 weeks after my operation. And I'm not one to give up easily, so off I went to bootcamp again to get my fitness back up to scratch. And it's like starting all over again (I have eaten quite a lot of cookies).

But you don't need much more motivation than the reports coming from Miami about the flesh eating dude that was shot, then shot some more to stop him in his hungry ways. Is this the start of the zombie apocalypse? Whatever it is, it's making me a little nervous. Should I start buying slightly more food to stock up - just in case? Should we start sharpening our tools and fortifying the house? I do know that I need to run a bit faster and strengthen those flabby arms to the point where I become a neck snapping power house.

Whatever happens, it would be somewhat embarrassing if those dead zombies do start wandering the earth, I'd have to answer my own blogging question: Am I Zombie Fit? No. Very embarrassing indeed. Better to be safe than sorry.

Can zombies type?

Has the Zombie Apocalypse started?

2012-05-31T21:32:00.002+01:00

There's some crazy stuff going on at the moment. Not only has Miami had its first flesh-eating episode, other strange stuff has been going off too. Check out this post from Dread Central:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/56063/end-upon-us-voodoo-mysterious-rashes-new-details-miami-zombie-case

Have you heard any crazy or weird stuff recently? We need to keep up with these reports so we can be prepared! Remember: don't become zombie fodder!

Zombies are Alive! And living in Miami!

2012-05-27T13:06:00.001+01:00

WARNING! Never trust a naked in the street!

Yikes! It's already started. Read this report from the Huffington Post. Naked man? Eating another man's face? In broad daylight? And continues to eat after being shot? All the ingredients for a zombie attack.

Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim's Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police - The Huffington Post

My New Left Foot - Hold Off The Zombies!

2012-03-06T13:03:00.001Z

I'm writing this from my sick bed (well, hospital bed), with a big old bandage around my new and improved left foot.

In my quest to become zombie fit, I thought it would be advantageous to get all my physical weaknesses sorted out before the onslaught of the undead. Although if they appeared now I wouldn't be much good!

I've suffered from bunions for as long as I can remember. At the tender age of ten years-old, I had both feet operated on to correct my prematurely Old Lady Foot (OLF) condition. The right foot worked but my left foot was left with very much the same OLF I started with.

Fast forward 25 years and here I am - with my new left foot! I must say the staff at Park House, Nottingham were absolutely super! They run a very slick operation there - the NHS at it's very finest!

The whole operation was conducted under local anesthetic. I was really nervous about this factor, but preferred this option due to all the risks with general anesthetics. Once all the injections were done, I just had to wait for it all the kick in and have a truly numb foot.

Once I was in the operating theatre, a screen was erected and the surgeons got to work on giving me a beautiful new foot. I heard the sizzle of my flesh being cut and the vibration of the power tools sawing through the bones in my foot. After feeling the initial sawing (only the vibration), the rest of the op was fine. I was shown my stitched up foot (good looking!) and then bandaged up.

It's now day two, and I must say it was very painful as the anesthetic wore off last night. I think your brain needs time to adjust to pain and the sudden lack of numbness was a bit of a shock. Luckily I took some hefty pain killers and managed to get some sleep.

So, come the zombie apocalypse, I should have a foot good enough to walk, run or hike away from those beasts! And a foot that will hopefully keep me walking until I'm a very old dear! Failing that, I could use this leg as a weapon to club those nasty zombies in the face (if it didn't hurt so much!). Am I zombie fit? Getting there!

How I was transformed into a zombie!

2012-02-01T20:00:00.000Z

I spent to day as an extra on the short film The Shot, directed by Paul Whale, one very cold Sunday in January. One scene was as a zombie and one as a normal human (well, as normal as I get!). It was great fun - so here's some of the pics from the day!

Just looked in the mirror.

This isn't my hand - my fingers are a lot fatter.

This is me... just as myself!

I'm a Zombie Star!!

2012-02-01T19:04:00.000Z

When invited to be an extra in The Shot, directed by Paul Whale - how could I possibly say no?!

I'm the lady having her lunch and my sister just happened to come along too for some kissing action!! We had a blast of a day, even though it was freezing cold, but a great experience all the same.

Hope you enjoy it!

Zombie Survival Camp

2012-01-26T21:59:00.001Z

If I lived in Portland I would have signed up!

Zombie Survival Camp: Yes, It Exists and Yes, You Can Go || Jaunted

Me, a Gun and a Swimming Pool.

2012-01-04T22:34:00.001Z

There's never any excuses to practice your aim.

Could the "Zombie Bee" be the end of us?

2012-01-04T22:33:00.001Z

This is an interesting article about the discovery of a parasite that seems to turn honeybees into zombie-like creatures before killing the host for the fly's larvae to hatch. And we all know about the effects of the declining honeybee population...

“Zombie” Fly Parasite Killing Honeybees | Observations, Scientific American Blog Network

Forget the Zombie Apocalypse - it's an OAP Apocalypse!

2011-10-25T16:39:00.003+01:00

On a recent trip down to Bournemouth to see the parents-in-law for a half-term holiday, we visited Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch. At first glance it seems like a larger-than-average garden centre with plenty to look at - and I like a well-stocked garden centre.
Now having children (a five year-old and a 15 month-old), they have a pretty regimented lunch time (around 12pm), as does every other pensioner in Dorset it seems.
Now, never underestimate the average hungry OAP with a coupon for a discounted lunch. They may seem frail and slow - but they can be vicious. Now one old person may be easy to deal with, but a hoard is a whole different ball game.
I'd never seen so many old people in such a confined space. I mean I know Bournemouth is a popular retirement destination, but this was frightening! The queue for the restaurant was huge. But we're healthy, so we thought we'd wait it out. The first old lady pushed in front of me at the cash till. I let it go - didn't want to be mean to the old dear. We sent Robin out with the pram to find a seat, but when he thought he'd got a table, the old folk would slowly move in and take the table.
An old lady cut me up when I was walking down an aisle to get to the table and my little boy nearly lost me. These people are ruthless - don't come between an old person and their lunch, and this is when it dawned on me - this is the perfect place to experience what it would be like in a hoard of hungry zombies - slow moving, smelly, hungry, and starting to decompose (the zombies).
So, head to your nearest garden centre mid-week when there's a deal on lunch. Make no mistake - you'll be scared.
Stewarts Garden Centres

That cranberry sauce was mighty tasty - and half price!

NEWS REPORT! ZOMBIES INVADE SOCIAL PSYCHE!

2011-10-23T12:25:00.001+01:00

Even the Beeb has picked up on our love for all things zombie! But how does the craze for the walking dead represent how we are collectively feeling in these tough financial times?

Are we turning away from our cosy, naive lives to face the fact that nothing can be relied on. Mass unemployment, rocky financial stability, high inflation, and rocketing oil prices... what will we have to face next? The undead? Maybe!

The report says that youth unemployment can give the young a sense of not being able to see a future for themselves. Without a future what is there? We've already seen the shocking rioting on the streets of our cities with children as young as 11 years-old looting. It took the police days to get control, so we know if there was an outbreak of anything nasty - the police would be useless!

Zombies may represent our fear of the future in these uncertain times.

BBC News - Zombie craze continues to infect popular culture

Take to the trees!

2011-10-11T20:43:00.001+01:00

Last weekend we explored the idea of climbing up trees to evade the zombie hoards.
As with any climbing or height based survival there will be pros and cons to keeping above the ground when any trouble starts.
We used a recent trip to GO APE! to test out our skills and our fitness. It was fun but really worked the upper body muscles. Luckily Holly's Bootcamp sessions paid off and my fitness held out long enough to traverse the three hour course. The best bits were how to get down in style....

... Here is the video of Holly's escape route test run!

We all used to climb trees as kids, and if you were really lucky your parents would let you build a tree house. As far fetched as living in the trees sounds, you can actually do OK up there.
The big problem for most people would be a fear of heights. If you fell you would be like falling fruit to the waiting zombies. Ropes and safety equipment are necessary, and obviously a roof or shelter would be required to keep you dry in any typical weather patterns. We could all learn a thing or two from the Kombai tree people.

Depending on your size of platform you could actually have a nice set up there. But you would need time to build and use high tension wires and cables to give yourself a proper home from home.

Now this is a tree house!!!!

So living in the trees may seem far fetched to some, but to others it would make a nice solution to your zombie infestation. Remember to work on those upper body training techniques just to be on the safe side!

Spot the obvious flaw in the Walking Dead (Season 2)

2011-09-20T21:19:00.000+01:00

I recently saw the next season trailer for the new episode of the walking dead.
If you haven't seen it yet then you can watch it here: See if you can spot the obvious error from 2 minutes 20 seconds in!

Did you spot it?

Honestly?

Want to know what they did wrong......

Well...just as the zombie hoards are strolling through the parked cars, our intrepid team of survivors take the seemingly inspired option of hiding beneath the parked cars to escape the zombie hoards.

What!!! Did the main character learn nothing from his first series encounters?
Did he forget being surrounded while hiding under a parked tank!
There was even a big section of one program about them covering their own scent with bits of dead bodies to mask their smell before walking out in search of a means of transport.

Come on guys, get realistic!
Being zombie fit means you can always gallop off in front of them.
Our choice would be to set off jogging at a steady pace and head for some safer ground. At the very least you could try and climb a tree!
These are not bears that are following you.
Playing dead won't save your skin, (or brains) as we all know a zombie's favourite smell is the synaptic 'juicey peach' that lives on your head. Your tasty brain smell that sends his congealed tastebuds crazy.

So you are unlikely to fair well hiding under a "insert car of your choice".

Jogging away from the oncoming zombie masses might not make for a tense storyline on TV, but it will allow you to survive longer than the entire second season of the Walking Dead!

Top Tits for Survival!

2011-09-16T20:07:00.001+01:00

No that's not a typo! You see I started thinking about ways to best prepare for the zombie apocalypse and if we had to endure years of social collapse.

Now my eyesight could be better. I mean it's not that bad, but I like to see things crystal clear, so I wear my specs all the time. I've only got two pairs of glasses, so if anything happened to them and the local optician is now feasting on eyeballs instead of fixing them, come dusk, I'm gonna be worrying if it's a zombie coming to chow down on my face or Robin trying to give me a kiss.

So, maybe it would be a good idea to go and get my peepers lasered. Then I'll be free of my untrusty specs and will be able to distinguish my husband from the walking dead (hopefully).

Another thought I had was about silicone breasts (not in that way). What if you have a lovely set of enhanced bangers but then the apocalypse happens and we have to live without great healthcare and you can't even pay a surgeon to sew your leg back on, let alone sort out your fun bags.

Now, implants have a lifespan, so what happens when one of those silicone bags is rotting off and there's no anesthetic, no sterile operating theatres, no skilled cosmetic surgeons and no replacement silicone. Those lovely breasts could end up, at best causing you a lot of pain, at worst - killing you.

So, I think the best way to prepare is to become as low maintenance as possible. Don't get me wrong, you won't catch me foregoing fashion and mascara, but I hope my vanity won't become my undoing either.

Boot Camp - Session 2

2011-09-14T23:31:00.001+01:00

I am proud of myself. I made it through the second session of Boot Camp - and believe me, I really didn't fancy going through all the torture again!

Today has been painful. Painful picking up the kids, painful turning the steering wheel of the car, even painful sitting on the loo (or sitting down - TMI!). So the thought of trying to throw my body into more exercise was not really something I would usually consider. But seeing as I've paid up for 10 sessions - I'm going (tight northerner!).

So, I took myself off to Holland & Barrett and got me some vitamin C (I've read that taking 500mg before exercise will help muscles heal quicker) and a massive bag of Dead Sea Salt for a big soak after the exercise ordeal.

Luckily tonight's session was a bit easier for me and even though I'm still aching from top to toe - I really enjoyed it.

We did interval training tonight with 20 second bouts of exercise and 10 seconds of rest for 4 minutes in total. After all that we had some fun with relay races before it got too dark and only did a couple of runs up the massive hill.

So I'm on my way to getting a little fitter and I've met some lovely people already. I need to keep it up to make sure I'm Zombie Fit!

Lean Mean Killing Machine? Getting there!

2011-09-13T09:40:00.003+01:00

Okay, so I had my first session of Action Boot Camp last night and it was intense! I now know I'm really unfit.
We did an hour of training in the park starting with jogging on the spot, to jumping in the air, jumping jacks, press-ups (over 100), sit-ups (again, over 100) and then on for a jog to the next location. To be honest all the rest is a bit of a painful blur. But the session included hill running, burpees, tricep dips and a 2km run - part of which was up the a massive hill. It was at this point I didn't think I was going to recover. I'd fully abandoned the notion of jogging up the hill, and was slowly walking up, but my breathing was so heavy - I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something! I mean this is really the first constructive exercise I've done since I was 15 years-old! (19 years ago - NOOOO! Getting old).
So, I'm on my way to getting a bit fitter. Hopefully the next session tomorrow will be a little easier! But I will have to persist because there's no way I'm gonna be zombie fodder! And I will be a lean mean killing machine for sure! I know how Linda Hamilton felt now between Terminator 1 and Terminator 2! This is my Hamilton journey!

The Walking Dead Survival Test

2011-08-23T10:20:00.001+01:00

This is great! A survival test from The Walking Dead. It puts you on edge a little bit! My test results showed I am a tough chick - but I knew that already! Take the test, it's fun (and a little bit scary!).

The Walking Dead - Survival Test – AMC

Use your brain, while everyone else is having their's eaten!

2011-08-19T11:55:00.000+01:00

There are many factors that will come into play in your quest to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Yes, fitness and survival skills will be necessary, but there is still a major element to survival which, when not kept in check, can render the biggest and strongest of men as a jibbering wreck, unable to fight off those ever hungry zombies as they chow down on their weeping victim.

Your best weapon against zombies, or will yours be just another tasty snack?

You will need a survivors mindset!

Now, we all know that zombies like to eat them, but our brains hold the key in our survival and the survival of mankind. I found an interesting article which explores some of the key stages of survival phycology you may find yourself thinking about in times of zombie invasion, and other catastrophes.

Read the article here, and beef up those positive thoughts guaranteed to put you ahead of the rest!

So are you a glass half empty, or glass half full kind of person?

Don't let your thoughts drag you down!

Keep Those Gnashers Clean Or They Might Kill You!

2011-08-18T22:16:00.001+01:00

Who would have thought that there would be a bigger threat to your life than those rotting, flesh-eating zombie beasts and it could actually be your pearly whites that become your ultimate downfall.

This is a great blog about how keeping those teeth nice and clean could save your life in the post apocalyptic world. Don't let gingivitis kill you. Live to fight another day!

Post-Apocalyptic Personal Hygiene: Brush Your Teeth or Die. | In Case of Survival

You May Die! Spartan Race

2011-08-18T16:04:00.001+01:00

This looks ace! Of course I'd be applying if I was a little bit fitter! If you like a challenge - this is the race for you!

SPARTAN RACE Obstacle Racing - Spartan Sprint & Super Spartan obstacle course trail races and the Spartan Beast and Death Race endurance race

Ways To Keep Fit Outdoors

2011-08-16T10:46:00.001+01:00

This is a fantastic article on getting fit in the great outdoors courtesy of Go Outdoors. I think there's also other benefits in choosing to train outdoors - you can get all your equipment together which will no doubt be super handy when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.

If you can't use your home as a fortress, you're going to have to escape and get somewhere a little more remote. Having broken-in hiking boots, all the camping and survival gear, and knowledge of the surrounding terrain will put you in lead when it comes to surviving the undead. Thanks Go Outdoors!

Top Ways to Keep Fit Outdoors | Go Outdoors Blog

Zombieland - There's a new number one rule!

2011-08-15T21:51:00.000+01:00

Now I know the quote from the infamous Zombieland movie states "Rule number one = Cardio!" But I have a new rule number one for anyone aiming to make it in Zombieland or any other land of the walking (or running) dead.

And here is it ...

Rule number one = Stretch!

That's right, and you heard it here first. There is no point in having the cardio rule if after 30 seconds of flat out sprint, you pull a hamstring or tear a thigh muscle. No amount of cardio fitness will allow you to keep running on to safety unless you keep yourself supple and ready to be active.
So a good warm up routine is needed, and even more important (and one you never get to see in the films) a good warm down routine as well. This will help keep your tendons and muscles stretched and ready for action.

How do I know this? I hear you say. Because it happened to me last week.
I pulled a thigh muscle and a week later I am still feeling the pinch.

So what went wrong?

It all started with me practising skipping with my son's pink kiddy skipping rope. Skipping is a good exercise which is practiced by many a boxer in training. Good for building stamina, it is also a real killer on the legs and heart. I thought I was doing really well as I managed to do 6 sets of 50 skip rotations with about 30 seconds rest in between. I kept up this skipping routine for about three evenings in the back garden. But I neglected to warm up as kids never seem to warm up when they skip. No harm done I or so I thought.

Until...I found myself running around playing five-a-side football a few days later. I ran up to kick the ball and 'Twang', I felt a horrid cramp in my thigh as my foot connected with the ball. I was in agony!

Owing to the fact I had not stretched properly after my skipping venture, I had all this lactic acid from the 'muscle burn' which was sat in my thigh muscles. Lesson well and truely learnt. Warm up, keep supple and warm down after excercising. Because without doing so, no rules for cardio will save you when the zombies come running.