Ammaka's Blog

Youtube Video: Changing Education Paradigms

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:23:00 +0000

I came across this video and felt it was share-worthy — it succinctly encapsulates one part of the problem of trying to educate children in America.

Q.

Basking Day

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:23:00 +0000

This one is for you, soaringblock! :o) (although it will be a bit long)

I didn't make it outside to see the allegedly spectacular sunset, but I made sure to take a walk out in the sun today. I used ace bandages to wrap my ankles, and wore my winter boots, even though it was probably 50° today (They hide the ace bandages and offer better traction than my floppy leather slip-ons).

With my Zune in my pocket and a black wire leading from it to my cheap garage-sale headphones (ear buds hurt my ears), I headed out into the glorious sun!

My playlist for today was "Traveling Music", in which I have combined different genres of my more favoriter songs — things like:

"500 Miles"
"When I'm Sixty-Four"
"I'll Be Back Up On My Feet"
"You'll Be in My Heart"
"Little Bitty Pretty One"
"Du Bist Energie Für Mich"
"Twilight" (by ELO)
as well as my standard assortment of upbeat worship songs.

(I had to look at the playlist to compile this list, so now I have playing in the background "Too Late For Goodbyes" by Julian Lennon)

So I got some fresh air on my walk, and made a meandering path around shadows so I could stay in the sun longer. I walked around the block and then ended up heading over to the apartment office to check on a request I had made, and there was a friend of mine (a sweet little old lady I will call RZ, who has beaten me twice at Chinese checkers on the times I visited her).

Since the receptionist was out of the office at the moment, I rested in a chair across the table from RZ (just walking around the block made me breathe heavier). We talked about life. She said had come over to the office because she was bored, and that she quit sewing because she couldn't read the patterns. I explained to her that I had been feeling ill and tired this past week.

After I had rested long enough, I planned to check the upstairs office, but coming out of the elevator was the receptionist, who assured me that she had gotten my message, but that it was the first of the month and they had a few new renters moving in (which equals mounds of paperwork).

So I headed back out into the sunshine.

On my way back, I decided to wander down a sunny street I hadn't been down before, and there I saw a Volkswagen bug painted yellow with black stripes. It brought to mind a picture that a dear friend from many years ago had sent me. I'll see if I can find it... ah, there we are:

Click the images to see the "tigerente" better. In case by some entirely God-appointed coincidence this friend happened find this blog and read this post, I shall include his name here, which was "Murmel" (or sometimes "Murmle"). I hope someday to get in contact with him again, because the email addresses I had ten years ago no longer work.

Here is a beautiful vintage replica of the Tigerente on Etsy (already sold, sadly).

So I continue with my day:

Walking back to my apartment, I met up with RZ who had left the office and come back another way, and we walked back together. The sun was shining very nicely into a covered area, where apparently all of the plastic outdoor chairs were hibernating for winter; I disturbed their rest and set out two of them for RZ and I to sit in.

It was pleasant, resting in the sun and chatting about the possibility of water aerobics at the Y (I think it would help her as well as me) and a trip I might take to Hawaii with my grandmother. Mostly, we just sat. Her foot started to go to sleep, so she had to get up and head home, while I sat a few more minutes in the sun.

So I had a little more energy for dishes and supper tonight. I made an odd new dinner of spinach pesto with ground beef on biscuits made from Pamela's Gluten-Free baking & pancake mix... it has buttermilk in it, but I haven't found a pancake mix that can compare, so I shall withstand the negative feedback from my gut.

I ate well tonight!

Teleportation Room Dream

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:10:00 +0000

Last night I had a lot of dreams, but one I found quite nice. In it, I had a house with special room attached to it, and I could change a setting on my computer, and outside the windows in my special room would be another place.

I remember walking from the house into the room, and there outside was a sandy beach with a turquoise ocean. It felt so peaceful to go into that room. I'm not sure if I could have walked out the sliding glass doors onto the beach, or if it was only a 3D image, but it felt so peaceful.

Later on in the dream, I was sitting at the computer, testing out other places I would like to see outside my window, but I had trouble thinking of the names of places. The Eiffel tower came to mind, but I wasn't so interested in it. I did "look up" the Mojave Desert, but the image on the computer screen looked suspiciously like a rural town nestled in some forested foothills. I thought about the Mariana Trench, but the thought of having an underwater scene outside the window felt too unnerving. I think I was going to look up Stonehenge, but the dream shifted to something else.

When I woke up in the night, my thoughts wandered through the concepts and technical possibility of such a room. It made me a little disheartened as I thought of the one movie I saw a bit ago where people would experience the world through the eyes and ears and hands of robots, while they themselves lay in their room. Or the Matrix, where everything was an illusion.

I think teleportation or faster-than-light travel would be a better aim than virtual reality. We already get sucked into our technology too much and forget about the real world around us to explore.

(Gasp!) Rafflecopter iPad II Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:46:00 +0000

Ok, I admit it, I am breaking under the pressure of not having a mobile computing device. There are only 7 more days in the Rafflecopter iPad II giveaway, and I have resisted it so far. I've done my regular entries when I was able to, but I have sold out now. Just so I can get 5 extra entries, I am putting this Rafflecopter entry form on my blog.

Sorry, my non-U.S. friends! It's only available to U.S. residents. :o(

Q.

p.s. I wonder if Terraria would work on an iPad....
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank You, Lord

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:49:00 +0000

Thank you, Lord, for allowing my friend Victoria to come to visit me on such short notice, and for the sweet flowers she brought. You knew that I needed a bright spot in my day, and that it couldn't wait the two weeks during which we both would be busy.

Thank you for the hugs and for the tender prayer and the anointing oil you provided. You are my Lord and my God, yet you will sit and have tea with me, looking through the smiling eyes of your servant, and comforting me with her hands. Thank you for meeting with me today.

I need you close to me, Jesus.

Show me how to spend time with you every day. I know it must be possible, but I keep getting in the way. Touch my life, Jesus.

Your servant and daughter,
Quietschie

The Feminine Side

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:03:00 +0000

I believe it starts young, really, when teenagers embrace the un-delicate world of modern music. There's little hope in it, and definitely no sweet tenderness -- it's like eating cake with rocks in it. Yet they still eat it, because the world tells them that's all there is. It's no wonder then, that they no longer desire the sweetness, the tenderness, when their stomachs are filled with rocks.

They don't expect relationships to last forever anymore.

So they don't.

They don't pursue, and keep pursuing. They say, "It'll end at some point, so why bother trying to capture forever and put it into our relationship?"

And so the little girl inside, waiting for her "forever prince," is told to grow up and face reality. "This is all there is. There is no forever," she is told. Her deeply feminine soul, like a fire, is nearly doused with a bucket of icy water.

She seeks love half-heartedly, and finds something like it, tying her soul to his, but soon she realizes that her lover does not hold forever in his heart. He doesn't have the passion for knowing her soul, for holding onto her for eternity. So in desperation, she searches for another, one who will love her forever. And in their wake, they leave a chain of broken soul-ties. Bitterness grows in her soul, and she gives up.

But that spark still remains alive, no matter how deeply hidden it is. No matter how many times she has been wounded, that sweetness, that innocence can be resurrected out of the bitter shell of indifference... but it takes wooing. And men these days usually stop wooing once they've won their woman.

"Why keep chasing her if she's already mine?" the guy asks.

...And affection slowly drains out of the relationship.

He doesn't have time to search her heart, to find out who she really is, nor who her eternally-growing soul is becoming. This would require digging through the garbage of bitterness and hopelessness in her heart, to find the lost, smudged-up diamond of soul. And then it would require a gentle polishing until it shines... not just once, but in an ongoing process of tenderness, affection, and soul-understanding.

Is he committed to doing that? Or is he content to live in separate souls — intersecting only for physical intimacy?

I suppose I am insisting that men be real men, so that little girls can still dream of marrying them someday. That these men could protect these willing, vulnerable women from their own passions until they are both able to understand the emotional and spiritual consequences of tying souls together — and willing to preserve it.

Brief Health Check

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:56:00 +0000

So I had a weight-check on Thursday, and I weighed in at 103 pounds. I think the main problem (besides the negative gastrointestinal effects of a lot of foods) is that I rarely feel hungry, so I forget to eat.

I mean, I do eat, I just don't eat as often as someone with my weight should be eating. I make sure to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but when I don't feel hungry, I am not reminded to make myself something to eat until I'm almost out of time for eating it, much less making it. Plus, when I eat I often feel full after only a little bit.

Another doctor-issue was the plantar warts on my foot -- only on my right foot, and they've been there since my school days, but more recently they appeared to be spreading. So the doctor froze them during my appointment on Thursday, and my foot has been hurting since. I'm trying out a natural topical ointment (called Eye of Newt) instead of the salicylic acid the doctor recommended, as well as anesthetic aloe vera to help a tiny tiny bit with the pain. But it feels like the pain is lessening each day.

I had a long, busy day yesterday at a birthday party, and while I made some arsenic-free ground turkey and gluten-free noodles there, I also tested some foods with uncertain ingredients ("I'm sure a little bit wouldn't hurt you!" is the scoff of my family).

So when I went to bed last night, I was having trouble with lower-abdominal queasiness and ache -- just feeling really yucky. It's frustrating for me to explain my discomfort, when pretty much the only word in English for abdominal malaise is "stomachache", and the pain I had was not in my stomach, but my intestinal region.

Today I have been making and eating my usual foods, but I just can't seem to fit that much inside my stomach. I feel very tired and bloated now after lunch, so I will have to take a nap. I've also been feeling dizzyish today as well.

Ok, I'm going for a nap now.

Q.

Digital Artwork: Polylith I

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:18:00 +0000

I made this a bit ago and forgot to post it. But now it reminds me of artwork from an 80's sci-fi movie.

Polylith I - Digital Artwork by Ammaka

Polylith I - Close-up

Q Celebrates the 22nd

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:41:00 +0000

I don't have much time, because it's already past my bedtime, but I thought I should jot down the main points of my day so I don't forget them.

First: I won an amber necklace (... er... more like a bracelet, since it's a baby necklace)! It's from Mommy Ramblings, where you can see my shameless attempts at getting things for free! ;o)

Just FYI, here's some info from the site (Teething Tots) which sponsored the giveaway: "Amber is fossilized sap which contains trace amounts of succinic acid, a known anti-inflammatory and pain reliever. The warmth from the skin releases the active ingredient in the amber."
This morning I was all ready for church, and I went out to my car and remembered that my back tire was acting funny, so I looked at it, and it looked lowish, so I drove over to the tire place, and discovered that they aren't open on Sundays.

So I drove back home and was thinking about just driving to church with the tire like that, but it just felt too draggy. So I called my friend EC, who comes past my road to get to church, and she was already on her way, but not yet to my road yet, so I was in luck! (I use the term "luck" lightly, though, because God has everything planned out to a T.)

So I was able to hop in with her and her mom, and we had a pleasant catching-up time on the way to church.
Well, so much for a quick note of a post. I am editing here to add in my church thoughts:

Click for larger pic
My friend AC was in church today (she usually goes to Vancouver for church), so I was able to find out what I would call her "visiting schedule" so I can hang out at her house sometime. She is an amazing woman, with all she does between homeschooling and making organic meals and crafting things. Russian women are like that -- Always Busy. She's the one who taught me how to make fruit and nut bars. Now I just need a pristine meat-grinder for grinding up dried fruit. Ok, running out of time.
For lunch I made a ground-turkey pizza-ish thing, which tasted good, but it really needed a sauce on it to keep things in place. I now have a magic-bullet-like implement to test out for making sauces.
I also made some fish (tilapia) to go with the pizza because I didn't eat much yesterday when my art friend came over and turned my living room upside down in order to put it back together with a LOT more organization. I am eternally grateful to her, but boy, was I exhausted afterward. It was a really tough job to toss out some things. Even only a few things.
So fish. Yes. Then my ancient friend AS appeared online (ancient as in nearly the first friend I ever had! ;o) .. not like "old old"). I explained that the 22nd is the day of my celebratory pity-party, and I opened the very last bottle of Henry Weinhard's Root Beer that I will ever drink.

And we got to chatting and laughing, and then suddenly I remembered about my flattish tire and nearly leapt out the door with little warning. But first I packaged up some ground turkey and noodles to bring with me for supper.
On the way out, I remembered I had a coupon for Michael's for 25% off sale price items, so I stopped in quickly and discovered that frames for canvases were 50% off, so I was looking at a nice black 11x14" frame which would end up being $11.25 instead of $29.99, when I realized that the place I was heading to for checking the tire would close in 35 minutes, so I raced through the store, bought the frame, and would have torn out of the parking lot, except for my sluggish tire, so I dawdled out and down the street.
They filled up the tire (it wasn't a tire place, though). It's really just a stop-gap measure -- If it looks lowish tomorrow, I'll bring it in to the tire place to get looked at. Otherwise.....do I dare drive down to my cousin's house in Kalama?
Then I traipsed around to the dollar stores in town to see if they had organizing supplies, and the new one was pretty much dead at 5pm, so I had the store to myself. And they are having a drawing for a really cool bike. *I bet H hopes Q wins it... Not sure where she would put it though ;o)*
6pm sharp, I was knocking at the door of my social event: dinner and fellowship which meets every fortnight. This is the same that I "reviewed" two weeks ago.

Tonight went much better than last time, probably because I was already familiar with the house and most of the people. I did visit the restroom about 5 times though. I had brought the rest of my celebratory root beer along, and that might have caused a few of the trips. Plus this morning I had some green tea. That might have done it too.
Also in the mix: the hostess was eager to rid herself of an imitation Magic Bullet, and I was waiting with eager arms to smuggle it out to my car before the dinner got underway. Q and I will examine this implement tomorrow (if we have time between engagements) and see if it will hold up to frozen-fruit smoothies or if it will be relegated to soft-vegetable purees. *Mashed potatoes... hmmm.....*
Ok, I think that's everything. It's way past my bedtime now. This has been a very long 22nd. And I didn't get to watch Shaun the Sheep, but thank you, AS for the lovely photos instead! I shall expect more! >:oc ;o)
P.S. The aforementioned hostess and I are going to collaborate to see if we can get the library to acquire the Jeeves & Wooster series... She has NEVER seen it.
P.P.S. No Tr tomorrow, H.

Reflection

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:10:00 +0000

Tonight I am stuffed to the gills with a delicious dal bhat dinner, from a fund-raising event for a translator in southeast Asia. Watching a slide show with her photos from the region, and especially a snapshot of her language notes, there arose inside me a fierce and passionate yearning for the ability to Go. To Learn. To Discover. To Experience.

Lord, let me go! Make it possible!

When we came out to the car after the dinner, it was snowing. Light, fluffy snow flurries.

I had gone to a niece's birthday party with my parents yesterday, and stayed the night at their house so I could get my laundry done today -- about 20 pounds of laundry. Then I loaded it all up in their car and we headed for the dinner. My parents were going because my dad used to work with the father of the girl who was doing the translating work.

So now, a few minutes ago here, we were transferring baskets and pillowcases full of clean laundry through the snow. It had an old-world feel to it, sort of cozy and feeling well-stocked.

If it's not a sheet of ice, the snow will probably be slush in the morning. But right now, peering out the window, I see cars covered with a pelt of snow.

It just feels like my thoughts are leaping from one corner to another. If it's icy in the morning there will be no church. Maybe then I will have time to really reflect on my evening tonight.

Submission Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 20:56:00 +0000

Make me teachable, Lord;
Change me.

Open my eyes
to see what you want me to learn today.

And make my hearing sharp,
to listen for which direction to turn.

Show me what is blocking me from you.

Inspire me today;
Give me a hunger for more of you.

I trust that you Are, and that you reward those who earnestly seek you.

I claim this as your child,
in the awesome and powerful name
of my savior, Jesus Christ.

Psalm 51:10, 12

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Invitation

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 06:40:00 +0000

Hmm, something seems to be wrong with my new monitor... I logged into my "night owl" account (dark background and everything so I can type at night without going blind.... but this is ridiculous. I can hardly see what I'm typing here. Hmm... settings perhaps)... Ah, I had to change the Magic Bright settings so it wouldn't darken the screen on me. I still have yet to calibrate it, which I know is an unforgiveable transgression for a photographer.

But so, now that I've wasted 15 minutes on that, I don't have much more time for writing, so I'll have to make it fast.

I think It's a full moon tonight. It certainly looks full -- this large orb glowing through a magical veil of mist, hanging in the sky like an unearthly visitor, here to observe and shed light on our paths.

So tonight I was invited to a dinner and fellowship group at the home of a local associate pastor and his wife. I had met them at a church potluck this summer; they are young, possibly younger than me. This was my first time getting together with strangers in a very long time, and I didn't have time to prepare emotionally for it, because they didn't realize I hadn't gotten the invitation email until 2 hours before the get-together.

But I felt the need to socialize, to connect to this new group of people.

So there I was: First one to arrive, bringing my own little bowl of soup to heat up, a package of gluten-free crackers, and another with cookies. I felt awkward, which is to be expected. Really, can a person have this many problems with allergies, foods, and even water, and still stay sane? Sorry, no corn chips (blood type diet+gmo's). Sorry, no unfiltered city water. No fudge -- no clue what's in it. Sigh.

But anyway. So I was a watcher tonight. Here are my first-impressions:

Seated around the living room (in the center: a large, black wooden trunk, looking as if it may have been rescued from a medieval castle) were 10 people, including myself.

1, 2. There were the host and hostess, a lanky, mild-mannered associate pastor, and his charming wife, sweet as a dove, yet crafty beneath her demure surface.

3, 4. The glowing sweetheart, sparkling with life and passion; a fairy among earthlings. And her boyfriend, a reserved, dark-eyed brooder, the grounding for her electricity.

5. A dark, silent, yet harmless watcher.

6. A content, casual red-headed observer. He brought beer. He said he knows how to use a semi-colon. He has a girlfriend. He has studied abroad.

7. The dapper dentist. Actually, I don't know what he does for a living, but it must be something professional, because he wore slacks, a button-up shirt, and black leather shoes. He said he doesn't read fiction. And he recently tried bone marrow and sweetbreads. (The group played "2 Truths and a Lie".) Reminds me in some ways of B.

8,9. Lastly, a soft-spoken husband and his candid, educated wife.

10. Oh, and there was me, too. With my own personal soup and crackers. And cookies afterward. But I think the awkwardness produced an extra bit of anxiety in my bowels, wherein I have been depositing positively lavish feasts for bad bacteria, namely in the form of gluten-free cookies. So by the time I was making my way toward the door, my digestive system was locked up with near-crippling pain, which could only be relieved by rest and the comfort of my own home. It could also have something to do with the full moon... If my moon cycle were lurking around the corner, a full moon would probably exacerbate my symptoms of digestive distress.

Must Art

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 06:01:00 +0000

Yes, I must.

I met a new friend at a coffee shop in town, and then we went together to look at the art on display for First Thursday. A female friend, so you don't have to get all excited out there.

But the artwork sang to me, calling me to create, to play... Here is a link to the artist (Mia Schulte) who is featured at the Broadway Gallery this month. Her artwork is much more brilliant in person.

One trouble is that I am in over my head in a fun game called Terraria, which my Swedish friend got me for Christmas, and which R also plays. It is very addictive, because you build your own little (or big) houses and and collect items and make new tools. And you can explore the world with your friends who have the game, and help each other out. The only constraint is time, since the world is quite vast to explore and mine and conquer. Well, and there is the little bit where the zombies and flying eyeballs that come out at "night", which happens every 10 minutes, so that adds some drama to the otherwise mostly-peaceful world.

I'll have to work on making some screenshots.

But, so, I must divide my time between Bible Studies, Dishes, Terraria, apartment-cleaning, eating, and sleeping... how do I add art into that mix? I must set boundaries and get stuff done so I won't feel guilty for taking a break to play games or do art.

I'm not sure about going back to school. I got so busy in November and December (even before Terraria) that I would have probably gotten a C if I had been graded on my performance. I don't know how I would handle actual classes with actual homework... though maybe I could just go back to school and opt out of Fall quarter. Course, that leaves only Winter and Spring (Summer is way too condensed to be of any use).

Decisions, decisions...

Also in the news:

I need to find a dentist, very soon.
The foot doctor said I have a "bunionette" which won't go away without surgery. He recommended a gel pad over the bunion and big shoes, but come back if that doesn't work and we'll talk about surgery. The chiropractor agrees about the gel pad and big shoes, but doesn't recommend surgery. But I am getting the feeling that without surgery I won't be able to walk comfortably, ever. I don't think these things heal. And I haven't been able to wear shoes for 3 months. I've been wearing boots, but boot season will be over soon enough and I can't go barefoot. Plus, I neeeeeed to get out and walk. I am dying without any oxygen here.
It's late, and I have to get to bed.

Mixed Drinks

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:13:00 +0000

I've taken to making mixed drinks. Mainly it's been hot water mixed with concentrated frozen juices and some potent black cherry juice. This makes a cozy hot drink, sort of like tea, but with actual calories, which I need right now. But it is pretty sweet.

So I was able to relax a bit this week, but my body is still quite tense. I think I need a massage. Maybe a week of massages. I think one reason my muscles are so tied up in knots is because of my foot problem. Since I haven't been able to wear shoes for a few months, I haven't been able to go for walks outside, to unwind my muscles and breathe fresh air.

Plus it's just so excessively chilly out there (I would have said "danged cold" or something like that, but I am trying to reduce my dependence on euphemisms, however quaint they may be... maybe I need to invent a new hyperbolizing adjective modifier, without blasphemous or vulgar origins).

I can walk with my boots, but they just don't have the support of running shoes. If I want to walk far, I have to wrap ace bandages around my feet and ankles (which gives the added benefit of keeping my socks from falling down), but that can chafe on the tender joint on my foot.

I'm scheduled to see the foot doctor who made my orthoses next week, and I'm suspiciously wondering.. or perhaps suspecting in a hypothesizing way... (I'm feeling a hole in the English language here).. maybe I'm suspising... that it might be the orthotic device which is causing my tender joint, since it's just at the edge of the orthotic device.

But now I've wasted a lot of time looking up which part of speech a word like "very" is, and whether there is a word with a meaning like "suspising", so I don't have time to write more. I must head for bed and get enough sleep to make it through Christmas.

Soul Transfusion, Stat!

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 07:13:00 +0000

This morning I came across the verse that says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22) And I know I haven't been very cheerful lately. I can just feel that crushed spirit seeping into my bones, sucking them dry.

I have just been so busy with Christmas parties and birthday parties and funerals and being away from home and Bible studies and doctor's appointments and not getting things done at home and the mailbox fills up with notifications and bills, which worm their way into my apartment and sit, unopened, in random places, getting covered up with stuff that I have moved off my chair so I can sit for a few minutes under my sun lamp.

The nerves in my body feel like coiled springs trapped in a tight drawer. My jaw aches from being clenched. My facial tics have gone mad! It's like a circus on my forehead!

At the funeral on Saturday, I began to feel dizzy, surrounded by so many people and completely unable to process my thoughts well enough to communicate with any of them. That night there was also a Christmas party that went late, so by bedtime, my eyes were twitching and my left eyelid was drooping as if there were an invisible string tying it to my lower lid, and I was in a foggy stupor, unable to think clearly as I stumbled around, trying to remember what one does before bed.

And then Monday I was down in Vancouver for a Lasik checkup and returning my $135 shoes and spent about an hour at Whole Foods, wandering around, trying to remember what it was that I had wanted to buy down there that wasn't available in Longview (I did end up getting a gluten-free sandwich from the deli, which was quite good).

Then I finally gave up and went to the mall to see what they had for shoes, which only frustrated me more, because I just can't stand malls. The fritzy music, the expensive people, the garish colors, the escalators which are marked on the map but apparently do not exist in this dimension, the sea of parking lots in which to lose one's car. And returning to said car, empty-handed, several hours later.

So I drove across to Ross and looked at their shoes and found an exteremely cheap pair of shoes which feel like house slippers (great for the painful joint on my foot), but unfortunately also look like them, though I would have bought them, but the lines were so long, and I could feel the traffic beginning to back up on the freeway as I stood there, shoes in hand, deciding whether to get into the line.

True, the traffic may not have been as bad as it could have been, but that was only because I was speeding along, inches in front of it, pushing my little Geo to the speed limit, with my knuckles turning white.

[Here I have to insert a brief rememberance... I was driving along, neck-and-neck with another little car, when suddenly it seemed that everyone was slowing down a bit. The little car to my right slowed down and I passed him easily. But ho, what light was this? No, don't fear, it was not a police car... it was a glowing orange hue to the west, blooming out of the steel-grey sky. I caught my breath. Such light! Such beauty! It was as if none of us had ever seen a sunset before. And this really was a paltry excuse for a sunset, but it had been so long since we had seen a sunset (or a sun, for that matter), that it slowed the traffic down, with every head riveted to the left, absorbing the light and color which we knew would disappear in a few moments. ]

I got home very tired and exhausted.

Then on Tuesday night (or was it Monday?) I was stirring some diced yams into some olive oil in a pan, and suddenly it was as if I my mind retreated a few steps, and I was watching someone else doing this; their hands scooping and stirring the yams, very precisely making sure to coat every side with oil and refusing to stop until every millimeter was covered. I wonder if maybe I had forgotten to breathe for a bit.

And it's almost Christmas! Will I survive? One last busy weekend and then... then can I rest? Please...? Perhaps if I opt out of the New Years parties... but I'll be up all night, lying awake, waiting for the explosions to die down anyway...

So, the point is: I need a soul transfusion! One filled with dandelions and root beer and dark chocolate and bubble baths and sunshine and Christmas lights and hot tea and bone-warming soup and nourishing sweet potato fries and rubber duckies!

Send in the Cavalry!

Sigh.

Q.

Lamentations

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:16:00 +0000

It is quite unfortunate that the bright and festive Christmas season is also the most stressful. There is just too much to fit into my schedule, too many festivities to add to my usual busyness. But then on top of the bright and cheery things, there are the unexpected, like a funeral, which can't really be rescheduled for a better time.

The first funeral (on the 1st) was for the husband of my dear mentor in Kalama. She had married later in life, though, unlike the young sweethearts who marry at twenty and their identity is so wrapped up in each other's existence that the death of the other means the loss of self-identity. I don't mean that she won't grieve. But I comfort myself that perhaps the grief won't be unendurable; it will be for the loss of her husband, not the loss of herself.

As they showed photos on the screen of the sweet couple, and the young, handsome man she had married, it brought my own grief to my eyes. She married at 35, and here I am at 32, steadily approaching a somewhat monastic life.

I have my own regrets, naturally. No-one explained to me that binding my soul with someone who was unable to share my dreams would eventually break my own soul, nor even what soul-binding was! And how deep the depth of hell I caused and experienced! But even if they had told me (I know they tried), even if they had known the depth of pain imaginable, would I have listened? I think the ears of a girl starved of affection grow deaf against the wise, distant sages, because affection out-shouts the wisest words.

>>>> + <<<<

The second funeral was last night. It was for a girl, ten years older than me, whom I had known through my parents' church, though not well. She had never married, so my thoughts during the funeral strayed toward envy at her current state of joy. She finally knew her True Love, face to face, in Heaven. She could hold his hand.

But my envy turned to a somewhat selfish grief, because as I glanced at the people sitting in the row in front of me, there was a boy who reminded me of one I had known, and loved, and hurt deeply. I say "loved" in the past tense only because this boy reminded me of a younger version of him. Because what would love be if it could end? No, I loved this dear soul more than life itself, and that sort of love never dies or disappears, no matter how much pain or time or heart-fog roll in to fill the distance. Emotions grow hot and they grow cold; they change form. But while the heart is fickle, the soul never forgets.

>>>> + <<<<

But so I look forward, out the window of my life, and I see myself working for the Lord in a distant land. Perhaps somewhere warm, where breakfast grows on trees, and dinner is root vegetables dug from the ground. I don't know if I could be satisfied here in the States. I grow restless and feel a bit useless.

And the days and years go by without any sense of accomplishment. Winter sets in, and we complain about the cold. Spring brings us rain and flowers, and we complain about allergies. Summer comes and we complain about the heat. Fall comes and we complain about the coming winter. It feels like life is spent on an elevator, always moving between floors and never stopping. Everyone seems to work, but no-one works at anything they love. The things we love are set aside for a more opportune time, which never comes.

I do feel that the Lord allowed me to have my nervous breakdown so he could develop the talents which he placed in my care, but right now I just feel like a terrible steward of these gifts. Perhaps he should have given them to someone with more discipline, more ambition in life. I am just tired and weary and want to rest.

Q on Poetry

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:39:00 +0000

I found a poem I had written long ago, perhaps in my pre-college days. I believe it was written with the help of my first "random word generator" (a metal jar full of tiny pieces of paper with words written on them), but still, it has a certain depth to it which I don't remember giving it.

However, I am thinking that I might try to publish it, so I can't post it here.

The trouble is that my publishing avenues are limited by my modesty. Not the modesty which refers to pride, but to that ancient delusion called decency, which most of the published world has slain in the battle for readership.

I'd just rather not have my work published in a magazine which I wouldn't feel comfortable having on my shelf, especially if a child or aunt were to flip through it. I've kept the Salal Review here on my computer desk just long enough to remind me of my dilemma so I could write about it, and then it's probably getting recycled, but I haven't come to a definite conclusion about it.

The Salal Review is a booklet of poems, prose, stories, photography, and artwork, published by Lower Columbia College (in Longview, Wa). I discovered it when an artist friend's work made it onto the cover. However, upon glancing through the literature inside, I came across a piece which would not be rated PG.

Now, It would be different if I were hoping to publish a book. A book stands on its own. But a poem must find its home among other writings, and if the other writings cast a bit of dirt into the reader's eye, then that reader can't see very well to appreciate the purity of your own work.

So I'll have to do some research. There must exist at least a single publication for readers with sensitive eyes.

Although, just so you know, my poem isn't a rhyming one, and it seems that most sensitive-eyed readers often enjoy rhyming poetry more than prose.

Q.

P.S. I'll have to find some poetry I've written which I don't plan to publish, so I can post it here. But then you don't get to see the best of it until it's published. ;o) It's a bit like a poker hand... Do I have aces, or maybe just a few numbered cards?

Evacuation Dream

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:09:00 +0000

Last night I dreamed that my mom and I were heading inland as part of an evacuation to avoid massive flooding. The water was lapping at the base of our driveway (the house we lived in when I was in grade school and junior high, which was on a small hill), and we were scrambling to get things together to take with us.

I was searching my closet for some clothes to grab, but all I could find were pink stretch-pants (some might have been yellow) and jean shorts. Now, I do admit to having worn jean shorts back then, but not pink stretch-pants!

Among my other clothes, I found ugly, baggy old t-shirts. But there was no time to look deeper to find my modern apparel, which I knew included more classy of pants and fitted tops.

So we were off, my mom and I (apparently my dad stayed behind to handle some other concerns), driving away with our eyes on the raging clouds behind us and the electric highway signs flashing warnings.

We arrived at a location nearer to the mountains (somewhere on highway 503), and there were a lot of women from my mom's church there. The girls my age ALL had black pants. Luckily enough, though, I discovered that I had been wearing my black exercise pants all this time. But this was a somber group of women. It felt like a funeral.

[ At this point I woke up and tried to remember the dream, and couldn't seem to remember what they call those flashing highway signs. I wonder if they actually have a specific name. Let me know if you find out. ]

After falling back to sleep, I was back at home, packing up my most necessary art supplies to evacuate with, with my mom telling me to hurry up. It was so difficult to choose which things to leave behind, especially when I didn't know how long we would be gone. I kept thinking that I needed to bring watercolors with me, but I couldn't find watercolor paper. I ended up with a stack of perhaps 5 items.

Then we were back with the group of women near Battle Ground. This time I remembered that I was supposed to have called my dad when we passed a specific AM/PM convenience store, but had forgotten.

There was also some discussion among the women about who would go to help at an assistance shelter in Portland, and who would be going to a Passover dinner.

So there you have it. The great flood will happen in April. ;op

Cleaning Day

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:36:00 +0000

Today is Wednesday, and I have appropriated it for my cleaning/Sabbath day. Of course, I know these two terms don't belong together, but I can't really enjoy fluffy, restful activities while I have to leap over mounds of objects to get from room to room.

So I've been doing dishes and sorting through piles of magazines and papers and grocery bags. But now after lunch here, my stomach is starting to feel illish. Just sort of achyish and uneasy.

It might have been the grilled eggplant, which I had with some grilled turkey slices for lunch. But it could equally have been the "capraccino" goat milk ice cream, of which I had several spoonfuls after lunch. I don't believe I've had eggplant in the past, nor goat milk ice cream, so it naturally would have been better, scientifically, to try them separately.

Ah well. Maybe it's a signal from my stomach that I need to rest and watch a movie. Or go for a walk? Going for a walk, though, means more work, because then I would have to change from my pyjamas into actual clothing, and don coat, hat, boots, gloves, and a scarf before heading outside. The widget on my desktop tells me that the temperature outside is 41°, which is only slightly warmer than a refrigerator.

As usual, one of my cold-weather activities is the process of researching the warmer places that I could move to. The main difficulty I'm seeing at this point is that the warmer places I could move to would be quite expensive, electricity-wise, since they would require at least 6 months of air conditioning, whereas here in southwest Washington, I can get by with 11 and a half months of no AC, and half a month wishing I had AC.

So it may take some budget-manipulation to see if I could even afford to live in a warmer climate. My aunt in South Carolina says that gas down there is around $3 a gallon, and here it's been closer to $4, so I wonder if that would inject a small amount of leeway into my AC budget if I moved there. More research is necessary.

On a side note, I just finished "Children of the Mind," the fourth book in the Ender's Game series (by Orson Scott Card), which was quite good in my opinion, since there is a character in the book named Jane who reminds me of myself at times. And in this 4th book, she finally [mrrphh mrmphrrr mrrphrrphrrr *anti-spoiler-mufflage*], which I feel completed this section of the series on a deeper, more soulful level.

Okay, my writing-time is up, and now it's time for me to embark on another fulfilling task this afternoon. What shall it be? An old movie? I think A. votes for that one. Or a modern movie? Q puts in a vote for that one. Or playing a video game? H. probably would vote for that. Also on the list: Reading a book? Doodling? Writing stories? Taking a shower?

Is it time for a snack yet? My stomach still feels ickyish, but I might almost be willing to drink some corn-syrup-laden root beer (Can you believe that Henry Weinhard's Root Beer has high fructose corn syrup in it? It's saddening. I wonder... if they used something else, would I return to drinking it more often than twice a year...? Maybe it's time for a petition... but not right now. It's my Sabbath.)

And the temperature-widget now tells me that the temp has gone down to 39° while I typed this. If I'm going to get some fresh air, I'd better do it before it gets down to.. eek! It's supposed to get down to below freezing tonight? 30°, The Weather Channel forecast says.

I guess I'll need to drag myself outside for at least a few minutes. I read recently that children with autism do significantly better when they get more oxygen (though in the article, they were using hyperbaric oxygen therapy (a.k.a. HBOT), which is a bit different than just going for a walk outside).

But I digress. Perhaps it would be better to egress.

And I do have the Coscto-brand Belgian chocolate cups which are calling my name.

Farewell!

Black Friday Chronicle

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 06:08:00 +0000

Well, last night my parents dropped me off back at my apartment after Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's house in Seaview. It was a bit late, and I was extremely tired, so I decided to see if I could manage to sleep without taking my sleeping medication and melatonin. So I just brushed my teeth and went to bed.

I got to sleep quickly, but I had troubled dreams, or at least half-awake moments where my mind was working on crocheting things (my dear cousin EJ had been teaching me how to crochet yesterday).

Sometime around 5 a.m. some noises outisde woke me up, and I tossed and turned a bit, and tried to sleep again, but I finally looked at the clock a while later, and it was quarter to 6. I figured that I might as well get up then, since I couldn't get back to sleep, and participate in Black Friday online.

So I stumbled over to the computer and tapped the mouse button to wake it from its sleep. Then I cringed and squinted against the brilliance of the screen.

I don't remember much after that, except that it involved a lot of headache and heartache over choosing between a super-cheap 24" monitor or a more expensive 27" monitor. I had been at my auntie KP's yesterday, and she had a 23" screen, which I decided was too small for watching movies on, so in the end I went with the 27". I was just done with headaching and making decisions.

But then I had to make my Amazon order to purchase the adapter I needed for HDMI for the monitor, which I made sure worked with audio.... (and long after ordering it, as I lay in bed trying to rest my weary head, I remembered that it was a monitor, and it didn't have speakers, so I didn't need to bother with HDMI, nor audio, anyway).

Of course, ordering on Amazon meant trying to remember what else I had been planning to purchase so I could get the free shipping, and then researching each item and variation, ad nauseum, and then to work out the combination just right so that I didn't spend more than I needed to for the free shipping, yet still got the things that I had been planning to get (and had forgotten about).

And all the while, during this 6-hour period, the spigot of my water dispenser in the kitchen would drip a large, sloshing drip about every five minutes, into the container I had placed beneath it the day before when I had discovered that it was dripping. Each time it made this sloshing drip, my stomach would church a bit, possibly in memory of similar sounds accompained by the flu. My stomach felt a little bit flu-ish, having woken up so early.

In my Black Friday stupor, I had eaten a banana and half an apple. I ate another banana around noonish, and then a cold bit of lamburger, before lying down for about 5 minutes before I remembered sth else I needed to check (I can't remember what it was), and then I lay down for another 10 minutes before I leapt out of bed because I needed to go outside in the sun, which had chosen the entirely wrong day to show up. It really should schedule these things.

So I walked around outside a bit, here and there, not entirely deciding which way to go (my brain was a bit fuzzy and jittery), and then I came back and got my book and my outdoor pillow, and sat in the sun around back for a bit, until the sun hid behind a cloud, and I decided it was time for my nap.

So I napped. Not sure how long. I might have slept.

Before I went to bed, I took some homeopathic thingamabobs (I think they're called pastilles?) that my naturopath prescribed for me (Antimonium crudum?). I awoke more refreshed, and my stomach was calmer.

I had enough energy to jump into making lunch for myself — olive-oil-and-basil broccoli, along with grilled balsamic & mustard turkey strips (deli turkey I had in my fridge, not from Thanksgiving dinner). Then after a bit, some ginger-chocolate and a gluten-free almond cookie (Amy's gluten-free shortbread.. in fact, I might have one right now, with some almond yogurt).

After eating lunch, I tackled the dishes in the sink. While the dishes drip-dried, I rested a bit, reading more in my book (Children of the Mind... I believe it's book 4 in the Ender saga? It feels like there were more books inbetween, but the Wikipedia list says differently).

Then I ate the other half of my apple, another banana, and started in on a dish of boiled yams while I watched a movie from the library called Princess Caraboo, allegedly a true story, which I found interesting, but not entirely exciting, and a little of a let-down at the end, but I guess it was better for me than an action movie, since my body was already stimmed out and needed to rest.

Now I have emptied the dish-drainer and refilled it in a surge of deadline-adrenaline. This looming deadline is sort of a shifting target: the first illness of winter. It has to happen soon, if I haven't caught it already yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner. However, there were fewer people, and fewer children, this year, so the odds may be slightly higher in my favor... although my online excursions this morning were little help to my immune system.

But I will be off again now for a busy weekend with the immediate family. Laundry to do! And Thanksgiving dinner again! And a birthday! And I need to remember to bring olives and pickles. And things to return to the cousin-up-the-road. And my ginger chocolate! And my pillow! And card-making materials!

On a sad note, my dear mentor from my Bible study in Kalama is experiencing a difficult Thanksgiving this year.. her husband is in Hospice with pancreatic cancer. I am hoping to find some way to bring a little bit of light into her days. I made a card for her on Tuesday.. here, I'll post the pic from it (I colored it in with colored pencils on the card).

I need to work on more fluffy little drawings which might cheer people up.

Progress Report

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:46:00 +0000

Today is Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, which means that cold and flu season officially begins tomorrow. So I am trying to tackle every single cleaning project that I have neglected over the past six months, all in one day.

So I am (figuratively) up to my waist in unfiled papers, art project doodads, dirty dishes, and random scraps of paper. Here is what I've accomplished so far today:

9 AM - Apples with almond butter, time with Jesus

10 AM - Random things online.

11 AM - Breakfast: Cream of rice with almond butter, flaxseed meal, honey, molasses, nutmeg, and salt.

12 PM - Wasted a bunch of time online trying to figure out how to use Blog2Print to publish my blog for personal offline chronicles. Didn't get very far. I had trouble with it not importing GIFs, as well as with the price.

1 PM - Lunch: Lamburgers with lemon thyme, mint, parsley, and garlic. The well-done ones didn't have much flavor. The medium ones were juicy and delicious.

2 PM - Washed a batch of dishes. Put balsamic vinegar simmering to reduce it.

2:30 PM - Ate a few pieces of Green & Black's ginger dark chocolate. That stuff is addictive. Sorted out images, color swatches, and text which I had cut out from magazines, into clear plastic scrapbook-page-holders (I got these from a garage sale at some point in the past, like 15 packages of 5 for $1 ... they are coming in quite handy as clear "envelopes" for storing things).

3 PM - Turned off vinegar. Dried off dishes and put them away. Allowed myself 30 minutes to type this up. Now I have about 5 minutes left online before I start another batch of dishes, transfer my cooled, reduced vinegar, and make a sweet potato dish to bring to church tonight.

Deutsch-Chat

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 06:12:00 +0000

Heute Abend unterhielt ich mich mit ein Fremder bei Busuu.com, am welche ich wieder auffrische mein Deutsch. Er war ein netter mann von Deutschland, der aß geschmackloser Jogurt für Frühstück — anscheinlich kein frucht oder süßstoff für ihn. Ich fragte, ob er wird auch einen Schüssel Weizenkeim essen.

Nun, es scheint auch das er hat ein Problem mit ein alberner Schaltfläche, der schickt einen "kuss" zu dem Rezipient, weil er benutzt es ein paar Mal im Chat. Ich erzählte ihm, dass er fremd ist.

Aber wir trennten auf gutem, und vielleicht werde ich ihn fragen an ein anderes Morgen was er für Frühstück ißt.

Pfui, ich bin plötzlich besonders müde. Dieses deutsch-schreiben ist sehr schwer. Ich gehe zum Bett. Gute Nacht!

Book Review: The Goose Girl

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:29:00 +0000

I must write this review quickly, because the book must go back to the library today. Someone has put a hold on it, so I can't renew it. So last night I read past my bedtime, and finished the book this morning in my bed.

The Goose Girl, by Shannon Hale, is a perfectly splendid book. I don't believe I've read anything else by Shannon Hale, and I may be late in discovering her books, but I plan to try out whatever else she has written.

As a poet and writer, I appreciate Ms. Hale's prose. She truly weaves magic and color into her stories, wielding unexpected nouns and fanciful verbs as her shuttle and yarn. Her writing has an old-world feel to it, full of poetry and grandeur, yet it is soft and alive enough for children to enjoy.

Here are a few sample sentences from the book (I don't have time to run through the book again to pick out my favorite phrases).

"On walks, the aunt called down the little birds from ash and beech perches, but they were anxious, busy things and would not stay long from their trees."

"She reached the pond and looked back to where the pink marble ballroom gazed brilliantly out at the night, the glass and walls trapping the music in."

"But when she turned her back to the lights, she saw that the night was so dark, the stables did not exist."

I would quote more exciting of passages, but I wouldn't want to spoil your experience of the book by telling you the pivotal events which happen in it.

Now, here the book review ends, and I venture into critique.

On a technical note, I did have a couple very tiny moments in the book where I would have preferred to rephrase the author's words for clarity, and there is also the insignificant (yet slightly irritating to my OCD personality) issue of non-hyphenated compound adjectives.

For example, "... with her back to the light, letting its heat dry her just washed hair ..."

Here, I would have put a hyphen between "just" and "washed", to combine them so that "just" would not be mistaken for a stand-alone adjective modifying the word "hair". Instead it would read "letting its heat dry her just-washed hair."

(See Wikipedia's information on Hyphenated Compound Adjectives, halfway down the linked page. Some examples they use are "rose-tinted glasses" and "middle-aged lady".)

Notwithstanding, I do claim my own fallibility — I haven't yet figured out where to put punctuation when dealing with quoted material within sentences. ;o)

The Great Leaf Escapade

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 23:54:00 +0000

But first, hot chocolate while the photos transfer!

[Transferring and editing photos ... took about 2 hours... ]

Okay! So I went leaf-capturing today. I think I would have missed this opportunity if I hadn't have needed to bring out the trash this morning. On my way back from the dumpsters, I noticed how beautiful the leaves looked against the dark pavement. So I grabbed my 15-minute dishwashing-time and used it for taking photos of leaves before I headed off for Bible study.

Then after Bible study, I took a jaunt over near the college to find simply masses of gorgeous leaves. But brrr! My fingers nearly froze off!

Now, this following leaf is really the culprit. As I was photographing it in this exact position on the corner of Louisiana and a cross-street, a white car coming from Louisiana careened around the corner and had an altercation with the far curb.

It sounded a bit "crunchy", but the inhabitants (two teenage boys) veered back into the road and sped off, although not before the passenger looked at me oddly, possibly wondering why a girl would be crouched down on the corner of an intersection, looking at a leaf.

Now, this following photo is highly doctored. Do not imagine that the original photo sprang from the camera looking anything like it. I really had fun playing with the color balance and curves. ... In fact, here, I'll put the original photo beneath it for you to compare...

See — here's the original. It looks like a picture from a magazine in the 70's. A true photographer must look beyond the image itself, to find (and lure out) the shape and composition.

But I do have millions more to edit — or actually, I only took 242 pictures today, but I hope to take more before the leaves disappear —, so we'll see how industrious I get before Thanksgiving. :o)

I love autumn!

Washing Dishes

noreply@blogger.com (ammaka) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:31:00 +0000

I had a full day today.

This evening I gave myself a break by watching a romantic comedy. It wasn't really that funny, so it was more like a light-hearted romantic drama. But I started it early enough that I had time and energy afterward for tackling the dishes in the sink.

I put my "+ to - worship songs" playlist going on my mp3 player (in its protective case with a built-in-speaker), set it down on the mounds of dishes to the side, and dug into the ones in the sink.

I sang along with my music as I scrubbed, surprising myself with the amount of energy I had for both. I thought about the romantic comedy, and how it would feel, singing along to my music, if I had a husband in the next room. Would he get irritated by my tunelessness?

As I briefly pondered the subject, I pictured myself washing dishes and keeping house for a husband, and how he would provide for me so I wouldn't feel guilty about not working. No, my job would be taking care of him.

I didn't have long to wonder about this, because the Lord prompted my heart a bit, saying, "Am I not your husband? Am I not providing for you?"

And it took a bit of emotion there at the sink to turn my heart around, like trying to turn a car around in a tight alley. -- "Yes, Lord, you are my husband, and yes, you are providing so generously for me! Thank you, Lord!" I had to pause in my dishwashing as my heart filled with joy and my eyes filled with tears for my true husband, the Lord, who had me wrapped up in a cocoon of his love.

I was reminded recently of the verse that says, roughly, "Whatever you do, do it as if you are doing it for the Lord." (Colossians 3:23) In other words, you wouldn't do anything half-heartedly for the Lord, so don't do things half-heartedly for the people in your life who depend on you. Because they are not your boss; Christ is. And whatever you do for those around you, whether good or bad, you do it for (or to) Christ. (Matthew 25:34-45)

And I re-realized tonight that when I scrub dishes, I'm scrubbing dishes for Jesus. They are his dishes. It's his sink. This is his kitchen. Everything here in this apartment belongs to him, including me.

For Jesus, I will tackle the dishes every day.

And with his help, I will win.

[P.S. I created the painting at the top in Artrage back in September... Just testing out some floral still-life paintings. Technically this isn't finished; I just got bored of fixing the small details once the bulk of it was finished.]