Yes, there is a difference in those two things. A BIG difference.

Believing whole-heartedly in a woman’s right to choose doesn’t mean that I “like” abortions and celebrate the fact that they exist. It doesn’t mean that I hate babies or children and think abortions are the greatest thing ever invented.

Quite the opposite, actually.

I have three children. I love and adore them and wouldn’t give them up for anything in the world. I love babies and will take any opportunity available to snuggle a newborn. I assure you that I am not an evil, awful person who wants to kill babies.

I hate the idea of abortions. The thought of them makes me feel a bit ill and it saddens me that they occur. It would be wonderful if there was no need for them, but the sad fact is that there IS a need for them. They are a necessary evil, if you will, and until we wake up and realize where the real issues are, and then fix them, there will always be a need for women to receive safe, legal (non-medically necessary) abortions.

It’s easy to yell and scream that abortion is bad and should be illegal. But if abortion was made illegal tomorrow, where would we find ourselves? Making abortions illegal is easy enough, but it opens up a whole new host of issues that we have to be willing and able to address and deal with.

Here are my thoughts:

- Until we recognize the need for, and agree to fully fund social welfare programs, we can’t force a woman to have a baby she can’t afford.

- Until we recognize the need for, and agree to fully fund government programs to protect children’s rights and safety, we can’t force a woman to have a baby she doesn’t want.

- Until we can make contraception affordable and readily available to anyone who needs it, we can’t force a woman to have a baby she doesn’t want.

- Until we recognize the need for, and figure out a way to provide, low cost, comprehensive health care for women and children, we can’t force a woman to continue with a  pregnancy that will likely bankrupt her.

- Until we recognize the fact that abstinence only sex education doesn’t work, and start teaching America’s youth about various forms of contraception, we can’t force a teenager to have a baby she’s not prepared for.

- Until we can reliably collect unpaid child support from dead beat dads, we can’t force a single mother to have a child she can’t afford.

- Until we figure out a way to bring people back from the dead, we can’t force a woman to continue with a pregnancy that will kill her.

Yes, adoption is an amazing option. But it’s not the only fix to this situation. There are already hundreds of thousands of children in the US who need homes and not enough people who want to adopt them. Unfortunately, we don’t have a reliable enough system in place to add hundreds of thousands of newborns to those numbers. Yes, it’s an awful way to look at it, but in reality, who is going to care for those children, both emotionally and financially?

I would love to live in a world where (non-medically necessary) abortions are a thing of the past. Unfortunately, we need to make some pretty major changes to our beliefs and policies before that’s going to be possible.

I am a woman. I am a mother. I am pro-choice.

Photo Credit: AlexandraLee via Flickr

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And then this tonight

My baby is growing up.

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Did I tell you guys that? I feel like I mentioned it at some point.

Anyway, at the beginning of January my sister and her family packed up their house and moved to Beijing. They even took their cat, despite many jokes about her becoming dinner at some point in the next three years. Ew.

So, the fact that she moved to China means there’s a 20ish minute void in my afternoons, because we used to talk pretty regularly when she was on her way home from work. Talking to her in China is a bit more difficult, what with the time change and everything. Thankfully, she’s usually starting her day (which is tomorrow here) during my afternoons, so we’ve been able to chat via Skype a few times.

But still, it sucks.

China is a really, really long way away. In case you weren’t already aware.

I’m trying to figure out when I can go visit, sometime in 2013 hopefully. At this point, if I can pull it off, I’d like to take Zach with me. He’s the most adventurous of my kids so I think he’s the likely choice. Dylan would likely starve to death and the anxiety he’d experience about the entire trip would likely drive us both to the looney bin. Ollie will still be too little, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend a shit load of money on an airplane ticket for a trip he’s never even going to remember. Also, entertaining a 2 year old on an airplane for 16 hours, when it’s not something I HAVE to do, isn’t on the top of my list of fun things to do.

So Zach it is. I he’s still in Kindergarten it will work in my benefit, because then I won’t have to worry about him missing too much school and becoming truant. If he’s in First Grade by then it will be a bigger challenge. Hopefully we can cover the trip with independent study work and it won’t matter.

Visiting China isn’t an opportunity that comes up all the time for us, so I’d hate to miss the chance. I also can’t believe I’m talking about Zach being in FIRST GRADE. That’s insane.

If you’re so inclined, my sister is blogging about their journey in China. Her blog is Ni Hao Quart Court and you can read all about their crazy adventures.

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Apparently he’d had a long morning.

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It took him about an hour to get the courage to put his feet in the sand.

Then he barely even looked back.

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No we didn’t. We just visited one.

We haven’t been visiting the zoo as much as any of us would like. And when Dylan expressed his displeasure at our absence,  I decided to head over there after school one day this week.

It was perfect. The weather was gorgeous and a Thursday mid-afternoon in January is a great time to visit the zoo…we practically had it to ourselves!

Apparently I was in the mood to take close-up shots.

That one’s actually from a few years ago, but it’s still one of my favorites.

Dylan got his hands on my camera and took a picture of Ollie and me.

But then I got my camera back and got a few shots of my own wild animals while they played on the “ant hill” at the playground.

I have a feeling we’ll be spending a lot of time there this summer. When we’re not at the beach.

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At the Doctor today, waiting to get a flu shot. He kept himself busy while we waited. As you can hear, Dylan was less patient.

He got his shot and didn’t even notice. After, he was his usual goofy self. A win!

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They should have their own exhibit.

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