The Playground

A Dose of Humor: Funny Funny

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Wednesday, 1/2 the week already over. I should be more excited about that, but truth be told... I've been totally screwing off at work all week, just playing blog somewhere. I have so many now, add my FB addiction to the list and I can't seem to manage to get much more done that playing online.

Silly girl.

Now I've just buried myself in an impossible work load for the rest of the week. Silly girl. *chuckles* I tend to do this kind of thing, not the messing around thing, but the crisis management thing. *shrugs* Not sure why that is. But I'm pretty good at creating a crisis, then managing the damn thing.

Silly girl.

Ack! Work Schmirk. I don't wanna do it. *crosses arms* They can't make me.

Friggin' hell. I'm the Black Mamba. Bring it! heehee. Elsewhere...

Black Mamba's keeping me pretty busy over at the Place. I swear, I'm not sure I should have ever let her out. Not sure how I'm going to contain her again. *shrugs* eh, whatever. And I swear, now that the posse has gotten out too... Ha! It might be hopeless!!

Anyhoo, here's some dose of funny to keep things rollin'. If you haven't visited over at the Place, do stop by. We wouldn't want Black Mamba gettin' on ya. She gets downright nasty sometimes. I find it's best to stay on her good side. *snickers* you wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of ANY of them. That crew over there is deadly!

Hope you're week's going well.

Enjoy!

;)

Monday Mayhem: June 14th

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Ok. Monday. We need to figure this poor playground out, and have no idea how. Don't miss the Place though, things should be jammin' over there. Black Mamba's come out to play too, so no telling what the heck.

As far as the Playground, the thinking wheels are turning, so something will come. But in the meantime, since it's Monday, of course we need a muse. We're going to steal the one from the Place because, well, I like him. :)

Also, to keep things in perspective. I thought we'd have a few more of those goodies off of the miserable list. heehee.

Things to be miserable about...

32. Memoirs by people that are boring

33. The Hilton sisters

34. Bifocals

35. Rhinestone sunglasses

36. Gas station bathrooms

37. Your inner thighs

38. Fake English accents

39. Broken condoms

40. Butt acne

41. Models

And then, I came across this video and figured, as long as you're NOT having this day... you're good.

It's all in how you look at things. Perspective. Right?

Have a good week all.

Enjoy!

;)

Sweet, candy

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 21:59:00 +0000

heehee. I said a twofer this weekend... it's late, but, it counts. Better late than never :)

First, how 'bout a little video. Yeah. I think I video.

and a couple of pics too.

have a good day all...

Enjoy!

;)

Playground...recovery?

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:25:00 +0000

*hangs head* Playgound... fail. I even promised ... never fail on Saturday. Fail. Big o' double fail too... even promised 2 candies to make up for the fail... double fail!

Amora, Amora, Amora. *shakes head* what are we going to do with you.

I guess there are still 2 days left aren't there. It just needs to be a whole weekend of yumminess I guess.

yay...weekend of the yummy!

I have been out scouring the web for some uber yummy. We were getting a little low on the goods. It's not easy to find acceptable sweets. Not just any will do you know.

Woah is me...the life of a candy maker *shakes head* the job is never done.

heehee.
Ok. How about some super yummy? Let's see if we can recover over here at the playground.

It gives me great pleasure to bring to you... the uber-yummy.

Enjoy!

;)

and do I dare... I may have to. My new ultra favorites...

The Jarics

Oh my, I did, didn't I. Amora.. not shy much anymore. Hum... I think I just shocked myself.

yep. I did.

Too much?

Happy Wednesday!

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 07:42:00 +0000

Tsk Tsk. I have been so remiss over here at the Playground! My apologies. Can't promise it'll change though. *shrugs* What's a girl to do? Could be that I've got to many blogs now. Nah, that can't be it.

They are totally stripping my Queer as Folk videos from YouTube. One by one all my yummy vids are just disappearing when I go to post them. I think that sucks, no pun intended. ;)

I swear I'm still the only one who hasn't seen this show. Went to try to rent it and only one store had it, but of course they are missing the first 5 or something. That sucks again.

Anyway, I still have this one. I like this one, nice and sweet. And hot.

And how about a couple funnies for a Wednesday laugh. You just have to love kids notes. I still have several from my beloved daughter. Found this one online...

And how about some bathroom graffiti...

And that's a wrap! Hope you have a great day.

Enjoy!

;)

Sexy Saturday! May 29

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 29 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

My goodness. Saturday has sure become a yummy day, hasn't it? Yum. Sugar for your Saturday morning coffee my friends.

Enjoy!

;)

Tuesday giggles

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Tue, 25 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

We're just going to kick back this week. Whatever shall be shall be. I'm actually to worn out to blather on and on, but I did manage to come across a couple of things last night that made me giggle, so I thought I'd just share those.

Giggle giggle ;)

see more

A facebook status update. WTF?

see more

A google autocomplete that just made me laugh.

see more

Um, yeah. What?

My daughter sends me these. Some just crack me up.

Well there you have it. Giggle giggle.

Have a good one.

;)

Sunday Swag: May 23rd

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sun, 23 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

I like Sunday. Sunday should be nice and relaxing. Easy. Whatever you want it to be.

Here's some of the swag I found while digging around the last couple of weeks. Some of this stuff...counts as WTF.

Have a fun with the swag.

;)

How about a "Not Always Right. I love some of these.

When Your Number Is Up
(Bingo Hall | Nova Scotia, Canada)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for the immunization clinic.”

Me: “Sir, this is a bingo hall.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken, the people at the hospital told me to come here.”

Me: “Sorry sir, this is a bingo hall. I don’t know why they would tell you to come here.”

Customer: “What are those people doing here then?” *points at the people playing bingo*

Me: “They’re playing bingo, sir.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! You just want me to die!”

And finally, how about some video swag. Lets pull out another singing soldier vid.

Have a most pleasant Sunday guys.

;)

Sexy Saturday! May 22nd

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 22 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

tsk. tsk. I've been so remiss. Hardly any blog posts over here this week. I've been so darned busy, I just have not had a spare minute at all! I do however have an awful lot of coolness over at the Place, so, you forgive me right? Oh yeah, and don't forget to check out...

My Very First Contest Ever!

No matter how busy of course, the candy never waits. I figured since we had all those yummies at the Place yesterday, I'm feelin' me some cowboys...what say you?

Gotta love a cowboy.

Happy Saturday.

Enjoy!

;)

Monday Mayhem: May 17th

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Mon, 17 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

I've been giving all this blog love to Barbara Sheridan over at the Place, and I'm totally getting all samurai happy.

They have swords and shit. Amora likes swords. mmmmm swords.

Last week, as I sometimes do, I decided to pull out my Iron Man suit, gave myself a Black Sabbath theme song, and rocked that persona for a minute...or three.

Worked like a charm. Those were the best days of the work. Least amount of crap. Yay for least amount of crap!

Iron Man persona and samurai love has turn me into...

Amora codenamed "Black Mamba". And no. My theme song is NOT Kung fu fighting. I am going to have to come up with one though, they really help with the persona.

If everyone out in RL plays nice with Amora, she'll stay all nice and pretty like this. If not...

Well, if not, they aren't going to like me very much. You see, it's like this...

I'm a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, an elite, shadowy group of assassins.
A formidable, ruthless warrior trained under martial arts master Pai Mei.

I served at the right hand of Bill aka Grasshopper, my boss and lover, a position that provoked the furious envy of Elle Driver (the bitch), who was also Bill's lover (the bastard).

Now? *swings sword around* I WILL KILL BILL...aka Grasshopper.

So, Given my story, surely you understand. I will not - I CAN not - take their crap. I think I'm ready to go to work.

*walks in with authority, sword displayed.*

That's right. Amora's here, you'd better run...

Damn! It doesn't take them long to surround me with their crap!

Back off boys...

I warned you. Don't make me hurt the rest of you...

To be continued...

muahahahah. Oh yeah, how scary am I NOW?! Do NOT fuck with me THIS week. I am all about the yummy sword goodness. Samurai sword goodness.

Black Mamba, comin' atch'ya...back away...NOW!

*throws head back* muahahahahahah

I'm ready. Bring it!

Oh yeah. No schedule this week. Sorry. Not a clue what's going to be happening. Pics on Saturday though! heehee, have a great and awesome week!

;)

What's a girl to do?

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sun, 16 May 2010 14:33:00 +0000

When I started posting some of the miserable list, I gave you a glimpse into my real sense of humor. Turns out Amora's not really sunshine and roses, well not all the times anyway, and her sense of humor is...shall we say...twisted a little. Those lists just made me laugh.

Today I'm going to share something else my bad self finds funny. This one's from a book called OMG! How to Survive 101 of Life's Most F-ed Situations. I love this book. Way to funny. It's full of things like...

WTF do you do when...

Your boyfriend has been posting pictures of his penis online
Your wasted BFF is about to leave with a walking STD
A hot guy wants to take you home, but you didn't shave

And many, many more useful tips we all just really really need. Because seriously, who knows how to properly deal with that boyfriend and his penis? I sure don't.

So. For our first WTF do we do post, I've chosen a very helpful topic. I'm going with...

WTF do you do when...

You're mistaken for a prostitute...

That's right, a prostitute. Your standing on a street corner, minding your own business. Suddenly, a car pulls up next to you and a nerdy middle-aged man asks you "How much to like the lollipop sweetheart?"

OMG, he thinks you're a hooker.

So, WTF do you do?

It's ok. You've got options.

#1: Find out how much he's willing to pay- Not really. I do NOT want you getting paid to fornicate. But, since he asked you first, he can't be a cop, that would be entrapment. So you might as well find out how much your worth!

#2: Tell him he's on "To Catch a Predator"- Yell "Surprise" and point to a storefront window. Let him know this has all been camera and will be on the next NBC special. Inform him that the SWAT team is waiting around the corner to drag him out of his car, throw him on the pavement face first and cuff him. Then watch that sucker burn rubber!

#3: Write down his license plate number: Contact DMV and get his phone number. Call his wife and ruin his life. Tell her he tried to pick you up for sex but you told him you had crabs.

Got all that? You never know when you'll need that advise, so hold on to it.

We'll see what kind of great advise I can come up with next time.

;)

See ya!

Sexy Saturday! May 15th

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 15 May 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Morning! Got some sugar for your coffee on this fine Saturday. Enjoy.

Have a good weekend!

;)

Things to be happy about...

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Fri, 14 May 2010 14:16:00 +0000

I like the little miserable list at the place the last couple of days. I know I'm supposed to think happy thoughts when I'm down. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. Sometimes that feels a bit like my mother telling me to eat my brussel sprouts because there are starving children in Africa.

"Well send them my friggin' brussel sprouts!"

And yes, sometimes the birds need to shut the hell up too. Aren't I a ray of sunshine?

Sometimes though, when flowers, sunshine and birds don't work, I go for whatever twisted thing just makes me laugh. Whatever works. The list...has been working, so we're list-ing on.

I don't like the miserable name though, so I'm changing it. How about "Things that make me happy...as long as they aren't happening to me!" hee hee. We could just go with "Things that really suck", but I'm trying to put the word happy in there somewhere...sounds less negative. *grins* ;)

Today's list...

22. Milli Vanilli
23. Double chins
24. Your children criticizing your cooking
25. Cannibalism
26. Commercials about prostate enlargement
27. Your 40th birthday
28. Toxic Mold
29. Polyester
30. Jock itch

And finally...

31. Exploding manhole covers

How bad to those things suck?! I never want to hear "Duck and cover! Exploding manhole covers!" You know that'd be a bad day.

I am very happy I don't have these things today. It's all good.

Happy, happy, happy!

:P

Happy Wednesday Hump Day

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:30:00 +0000

I'm growing bored with the videos. Today I'm going to pull out a Dirty Minds game instead. 2 even.

Ready, set... let's play.

#1...

- If you stick me in your mouth and gag, your're not a good old boy.

- I come in big jugs.

- If you suck me down too much, I'll knock you on your butt.

What am I?

#2...

- Using me can cause a fight with your wife.

- You grope for me under the covers to pump it up a notch.

- If it wasn't for me, you'd have to get yourself up.

What am I?

Sexy Saturday! May 8th

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 08 May 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Yay, Saturday! Since this is a playground afterall, and playgrounds are best with friends...let's do a group thing this week. The more the merrier. What do you think?

Happy Saturday morning to you all!

Yeah, that should do it.

Make sure you give mom what she really wants tomorrow. Whatever that might be.

Have the best!

;)

Queer as folk: Fantasy at the Art Gallery

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Wed, 05 May 2010 07:00:00 +0000

This week, we have a field trip to the art gallery. Another little tidbit from Queer as Folk.

Fantasy at the Art Gallery

R rated Blog...finally!

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Tue, 04 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Yeah, I know it's silly, but how much have I coveted this little goody? I've seen it on other blogs, and I wanted one. LOL. It didn't quite work out that way.

I took their silly little test. LOL. Go on, guess what they rated me? G. yeah, G. Really? I'm not after a G rated playground.

I tried and tried. Ha! Even made special posts of foulness to trick it. All I could get up to was...PG13. Yeah. Still not it.

YAY! Finally! It's official, I'm rated R. Silly? Yes. I don't care. I like it!!!!

Now if I could just get one for Amora's Place. It's rated G too. I guess I could just use this one, but I want it to be rated R too. Why? 'cause my blogs will NOT be rated G, and also, and most of all...

'cause R is for rocks, and what? That's right. My blog ROCKS!!!

Monday w/o Mayhem: May 3rd

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Mon, 03 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Ahhhhh. This is sooo me now. There is no Monday Mayhem today. In fact, today's game is...there IS NO Monday. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy. So, no upcoming schedules this week on the playground.

Actually, we may not have them here ever again. We'll see. It's hard to play when you're thinking schedules. They don't mix for me. So this week, here's what we're going to do.

Whatever we want.

How's that sound? Good I hope, because that's what it is...mostly. I've still got a video going Wednesday. A hot Queer as Folk one I had. And I've still got the Saturday yummies covered. LOL. What's it say about me that those are the only ones I'm still scheduling?

Don't answer that. ;)

Everything else? Whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. Truth is, I've got all kinds of goodies to play with, I'm just too tired to figure out what they are right now. LOL. We're going to have a fun yet relaxing week at the Playground, with uber hottness thrown in of course.

Enjoy your week guys. I'll surprise you with some playthings, I promise.

Have a good one!!!!

Sunday Swag: A bit of loot this week

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sun, 02 May 2010 07:00:00 +0000

This week I've got a couple differnent thing for us to play with on this fine Sunday. Good to see you out to play today. Have fun!

First, we've got some bathroom graffiti from Ask A Urinal. Ha! Some of the things I've seen written in a public restroom. Priceless. I found this little goody digging around over there.

And how about a funny sign. I got this in an email. I don't know about you, but stupid, funny, weird signs crack me up. WTF is right.

Here's another from Not Always Right. You just have to wonder. That site is still making me laugh.

The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Bookstore
Exton, PA, USA

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m going on a 25 hour plane ride, and I was just trying to find something to read.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of books do you read?”

Customer: “Young adult stuff, like romance stuff. OH! Or something with vampires.”

(I walk her over to the young adult section. And show her a series with vampires. There are six books in the series and each book is quite small–not even 200 pages.)

Me: “Well, you might like this series. They’re easy books to read, but really good. I’ve read them.”

Customer: *flips through book* “It seems boring.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I can assure you it’s not. They are quite action-packed.”

Customer: “I mean it looks wordy. Like, there’s a lot of words in it.”

Me: “Well, yeah…most books have words in them.”

Customer: “Hmm…I’ll think about it.”

Super Saturday: May 1st

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:00:00 +0000

We're changing the name. That's right. I think. Since the pics are just a bit ymmmier than the finely Friday, we're going with Super Saturday. For now...today.

Yeah, that last one...uh, huh...tell me that's not icing!

Thanks for coming to play. Enjoy yourselves! I know I did putting the post together. :)

Friday Fun: What was yours?

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Yay! Friday! And we're going to play a new little of game. A different kind of game for Friday's fun this week.

This week, I want you to answer a question. I want you to remember with me :)

Tell me...

What was your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

I'm not sure I have one myself. I liked so many. I do remember loving Green Eggs and Ham.

Yeah, I liked Sam I am.

I could not, would not, in a house.

I would not, could not, with a mouse.

I would not eat them with a fox.

I would not eat them in a box.

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not eat them anywhere.

I would not eat green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

So. What was your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Leave your comments and let me know!

Somewhere with you

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

I really have no idea what this video is from. They call it Boy Culture? I think it's a movie. This weeks slows it down a bit from the last couple.

Although still hot, this one is less...heated? It has a longing in it that touched me. I may have to check out this Boy Culture movie.

Happy Wednesday. Enjoy!

Somewhere With You

Laugh a little today: Rugby Commercial

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Ok. Now this just made me laugh. It's a banned in the US commercial.
Laugh a little today :)

Rugby Commercial

Monday Mayhem: April 26

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Morning. Here's what we're playing with this week over here on The Playground.

By the way. Did you catch that little swag diddy I threw you yesterday? He's worth noting I think. Don't miss him.

Anyhoo...this week...

Tuesday: A little laugh, a banned in the US commercial I got a kick out of.

Wednesday: We're still calling it hump day. (I have to do something about that.) This week we're slowing it down a bit.
Thursday: ?? As seems to be the pattern, it's a mystery, even to me.

Friday: For fun we have a little game I saw around. A kind of "What was yours". It's a surprisingly non-typical Playground game. Off the wall. Shakin' it up ;)

Saturday: Ahhh. Sweet Sexy Saturday. Need I say more.

Sunday: This week we have swag. Loot baby. We've got funny a little goody I found from a site called Ask A Urinal. Yeah, you read that right. A very interesting sign I got in my email. Thanks hon, you rock! And I have another Not Always Right called "The Twilight of our literacy". All kinds of little treasures.
Be sure to swing by the other Places too. I've been busy over at Amora's Place meetin' & greetin' a bunch of really great new authors, so don't miss any of that upcoming goodness. I'm not totally sure what it means yet other than...yay! Book and author goodies! I'll keep you posted over there.

I've also been busy trying to build a new Amora's Place + some Playground + misc stuff = Amora's Blog Place. Complete with "Discussion Board". (I'm pretty excited about that) It's over on Facebook. Another place to play. It's not going to have ALL the Playground goodies over there...I wouldn't want to get kicked off. I'm still not sure of all the annoying rules ;)

Have a GREAT week everyone!

Sunday Swag: The Turtleman

amora@amorasplace.com (Amara) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Oh, have I got something for you today. Although swag may be the wrong word for him. Treasure is not what comes to mind when I think of The Turtleman.

Funny yes. Swag? I don't know, I wasn't sure where he fit exactly. But we have to play with this.

I found The Turtleman about a year ago. As an American, I should probably not let this get out...this is just embarrassing. But since we are all friends here, I'm going to introduce you.

I do like sharing with you. You can't miss this guy. I just couldn't let this pass us by. You can't make this stuff up.

Friends, I give you...The Turtleman.

I wonder how Gatorade feels about his endorsement at the end. Maybe they sent him a thanks for the free advertising. That's going to sell some product!

As Seen on Kentucky Afield TV