dil mein dam bhar lo, fir dil ko hockey ko

Win the cup they didn’t, but to their credit the Indian hockey team managed their best performance in 16 years. By finishing 8th out of 12 participating teams. And managing one win in six matches.

To their credit they managed to defeat Pakistan. Never mind the fact that everybody else also beat up the Pakistani team who seem to have slipped to a new low in world hockey.

For some illogical reason, there was a lot of hype and expectation from the team, and we were actually expecting a decent finish. Alas that decent finish never happened, and India even lost the match for the 7th position to Argentina.

Indian hockey has seen it all now. The burden of past performance, the ignominy of not qualifying for the Beijing Olympics, the suspension of IHF last year, the recent strike over pay, infighting over captaincy right before the world cup, allegedly rigged practice matches against India B teams, a sad show at the world cup, and to top it all, a Prabhjot Singh dispatching a middle finger to upset fans.

A team on a high can afford to piss off some followers, but a mediocre team that loses most of its games can definitely not. We may have given our dil to hockey, but it wont take long to take it back. Not when the Indian Paisa League is in progress.

Maybe what we need is a Shahrukh Khan to coach the men’s team to a world title, like he did the women’s team.

*Long Sigh *

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The joys of such exchanges can truly brighten up what may have been a boring day till then!

(Read the following email thread from bottom to top – the way email threads are meant to be read)

_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 1
Sent: 18 February 2010 4:02 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; Hero no 8; Hero no 9; Hero no 10; Hero no 11; Hero no 12; Hero no 13; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Thanks everybody for your responses. I was able to get access to the gym from the admin team
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 13
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:41 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; Hero no 8; Hero no 9; Hero no 10; Hero no 11; Hero no 12; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Has everybody absolutely lost their mind?

Who cares about the stupid gym anyway? The treadmill doesnt even work.
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 12
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:40 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; Hero no 8; Hero no 9; Hero no 10; Hero no 11; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

It seems this is some game… Everyone replying please – “Please stop sending mail”

Better follow what you guys think best to stop this chain. Else many need to waste their time to read this and delete the spam.

_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 11
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:32 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3; Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; Hero no 8; Hero no 9; Hero no 10; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

For God Sake just reply back to the sender, do not disturb others please

_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 10
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:30 PM
To: #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

I am sure the best we can do right now is we don’t actually reply to these mails

Hero no 10

PS:  Please don’t print this e-mail unless you really need to.
_____________________________________________

From: Hero no 9
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:26 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; Hero no 8; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

If you can fix this bug that is driving me crazier than this email thread, then i promise i will build a gym for you.

_____________________________________________

From: Hero no 8
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:24 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; Hero no 7; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Please do not reply to all.
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 7
Sent: 18 February 2010 1:24 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; Hero no 6; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE:Permission to use office gym

I dont think i have privileges to grant this permission to you. Please check with my manager.
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 6
Sent: Thursday, February 18, 2010 1:19 PM
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3;  Hero no 4; Hero no 5; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Same here. Please review the email address. Thanks and Regards,

Hero no 6
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 5
Sent: 18 February 2010 13:19
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3; Hero no 4; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Ditto here. Please review the email addresses.

Hero no 5
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 4
Sent: 18 February 2010 13:18
To: Hero no 1; Hero no 2; Hero no 3; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Bingo!

Hero no 4
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 3
Sent: Thursday, February 18, 2010 13:18
To: Hero no 2, Hero no 1, #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

I feel #India Office Admin is wrongly mapped to bigger audience.

Regards,
Hero no 3
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 2
Sent: 18 February 2010 13:18
To: Hero no 1; #India Office Admin
Subject: RE: Permission to use office gym

Dear all,

Kindly note u have emailed to the wrong mail id. Kindly check.

Regards,
Hero no 2
_____________________________________________
From: Hero no 1
Sent: Thursday, February 18, 2010 1:17 PM
To:  #India Office Admin
Subject: Permission to use office gym

Hi,

Please give me access to use the office gym.

My details:
Name: Hero no 1
bla bla bla

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As if the damage to their digestive system from the super spicy Indian food wasnt bad enough, food patrons now have to bear in mind the prospect of the Tandoor, and god forbid, the entire desi food joint going up in fire.

A number of restaurant workers have been severely burned because the modern gas tandoors, used to cook chicken tikka and nan bread, were not properly maintained.

Birmingham City Council inspectors also found that at many establishments kitchen staff routinely light the ovens by throwing in burning serviettes, rather than using an ignition system. [link]

And we thought the only thing Indian food blows up is your stomach!

This is terrorism of a different kind.

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Meet Americans Charlie White and Meryl Davis, rocking the house Bolly style. [link]

For a country which had three participants at the ongoing Winter Olympics who didn’t make any news beyond attending the opening ceremony in mismatched attire, including one who got his equipment thanks to contributions from the legal community, this is probably the closest we will ever get to a presence in any sporting event on ice.

Ah well, at least we rule (field) hockey. Oops…sorry i went back in time by some 40 years. My bad.

Anyway, here’s the video. Watch, and enjoy.

Looks like these two are not the first to figure skate on a Bollywood number. Check out bole chudiyan, silsila ye chahat ka, and of course, Jai Ho.

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Most of my generation grew up listening to that immortal classic Mile Sur Mera Tumhara back in the days of Doordarshan. That song/video will forever remain one of the most amazing memories of my childhood, never failing to give  me the goosebumps.

Zoom TV has gone ahead and tried to recreate the song. Phir Mile Sur, with a lot of new faces and a lot of new settings. It’s beautiful. Nothing that presents India in such amazing glory can not be beautiful.

There’s sportsmen, singers, and Bollywood personalities. Men and women of immense talent doing their thing against spellbinding backdrops. Pretty awesome.

The video opens with a piece by AR Rehman, followed by Big B, with the 26/11 ravaged Taj hotel in the background.

There’s Aamir, (again) shaping the country’s future with little kids. Salman has a touching bit miming out the segment with a group of children. Aishwarya gets her share of lip synching, and of course she has her husband in tow. (Do they ever appear without each other? Is this love, or is it some sort of imprisonment?). The ever improvising Siva Mani drumming away on water.

Here’s a little preview. The full video available here (16 minutes long)

More than 60 of India’s icons have lent their support to this initiative which has taken almost a year to create. It took more than 60 days of on-location shoot, across 15 cities of India, 30 days of post production, 22 of India’s biggest superstars, 18 of India’s best musicians, 13 of India’s best artists and singers, 15 of India’s most renowned icons to create this magnum opus. Each artist speaks of a cause and the video is shot at places which have historical value and significance. [link]

Phir Mile Sur is quite good, but Mile Sur Mera Tumhara [video] remains untouchable. Far beyond the reach of any remake, for its vision and the tremendous impact it had on the nation.

What do you think?

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The story of IIM, told in the space of 5 odd minutes. Pretty niftily done too!

There’s assignments, summer placements, girls (just the one), a temple, divine intervention, and success at last. All elements of a masala movie rolled into a fraction of the time.

Interesting stuff. Here’s another one.

Oh, and yes i am still alive. Regular programming will resume shortly. Rukawat ke liye khed hai!

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More significantly, there was the return of the prodigal son to the land of Snake charmers and Elephants. You know who i am talking about. Me.

This blog did well for itself, and continues to be a huge passion for me. I have been able to post rather regularly even though the last month wasn’t that productive. The reader base has grown, and all you wonderful people reading this blog totally rock. I became a member of the DesiPundit community, as well as BlogCritics. Twitter has proved to be an amazing tool and I have got to know some tremendous people via that medium.

2010 holds a lot of promise in personal and professional life.

I would like to see if the time taken for my daily tri-state commute keeps increasing or will it reach a maxima and then drop to saner levels. I would like to see Delhi do well for itself in the Commonwealth games, despite all the attempts by the official agencies to make a complete mess out of the event. I would like to eat more mangoes in a few months come summer. I would like to do a lot more on this blog, including being more regular with posts (and replying to comments). I would like to know for sure whether the world is indeed going to end in 2012, so that i can just get done with that book already.

Meanwhile, here’s wishing you all a wonderful new year. God bless you, and hope all your wishes come true.

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Not just impressed. I learnt a lot from the movie. What follows is ten important lessons in life that the movie taught me.

This is not a review. Millions have already been written so i wont go there. If you want a positive review try here, and here. If you want a bad one, check this out, and for a really nasty one, read here.

Ok. So back to the ten lessons i learnt from 3 Idiots.

Ageing can be stopped. There is after all, such a thing as the elixir of life. Obviously Aamir Khan has found it; there’s no way a 44 year old man can look so incredibly young all of a sudden. If only he shared some of that with Madhavan…

Or science has really made immense progress over the past years. They probably stole the face of a college kid and stuck it on Aamir’s.

Those tiny, baby scooters come in handy in medical emergencies. You can drive ahead of an ambulance clearing the way for it to pass, or if an ambulance isn’t available, just use the little bi-wheeler as one. As an added advantage, hospitals will let you drive the scooter right up to the operation theater so it works out quite nicely.

Poverty and illness may be touchy topics, but if tinted in sepia tones they become funny. All you need is a mom cribbing about the family’s pathetic financial condition in black and white, while the paralyzed dad lies in bed, and audiences will roll away in their seats. Some will ROFL, while some others may even ROFLMAO.

A movie can break box office opening collection records and win wholesome praise from all and sundry, but still some critic holed up in a dinghy cabin will manage to come up with an absolutely scathing review that tears up everything about the film. After all, isn’t that what critics are paid for? (Writing reviews, i meant! If you are a critic, please also note that such reviews may be followed by thousands of comments by readers questioning the sanctity of your comments.)

The farmhouses of Chhatarpur are passe. The Delhi wallah who really matters would go to a fancy hill station to get married.

On a related note, it is way easier to run away from a wedding in desolate hill stations. Imagine the lady runs away from the wedding mandap only to get caught in a massive traffic jam due to the latest flyover construction. Dad catches up, and shoots both runners with his rifle. What started as a romantic comedy suddenly ends up a horror flick.

If you had any doubts on the Mahabharata/Abhimanyu/Chakravyuha story, this movie should clarify all your concerns. Babies can listen and understand you, even before they are born. So get that Java book and start teaching your kid the basics of software development before his competition catches up.

This one’s important. You may be drunk and dirty, but if you are Aamir Khan, the girl will readily fall for you when you try to sneak into her bedroom in the middle of the night.

Please note the if – if you don’t pass that very important condition don’t even dare think of trying.

And the solution to the problem of men peeing all over the place – Electricity.

No man in the right frame of mind will risk his all-important apparatus. Just keep a battery and wires handy, and they will run like monkeys on seeing a langur.

Be a rebel. Fight the system. Educate yourself. Don’t waste the opportunity for education by just cramming from books. If you must mess with the principal of your college, make sure he has a pregnant daughter(-in-law) and be prepared with an inverter and a vacuum cleaner.

Lastly, think outside the box. If you just counted and this list was less than the promised length, well, that was intentional, and not because i ran out of points.

Didn’t you know – the rebel always ends up a winner?

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“This will be the best post ever. As soon as i get home…”

He got home at 10. Exhaustion took over and soon he was snoring.

The blog would have to wait.

Author’s note: My first attempt at writing a short story in the space of 55 words; popularly known as 55ers. It’s pretty hard, as i were to realize over the course of composing this one. Hope you like.

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I have seen a lot in my years on Delhi roads, but nothing comes close to this one. Not even the time when i saw four masked men forcibly push a young girl into their Honda Civic (nice car, but i wouldn’t be caught dead in one. Everybody seems to own one these days), but didn’t raise an alarm since i had to leave for the States that night, and didn’t want any complications.

It had been a long week. The husband had been making preparations for an upcoming business trip. I had been busy with the kids, the social circuit, and all the shaadis. Damn November. I attended 5 weddings Monday night and still ended up missing a couple.

Anyways…yesterday  the hubby had to go to get his UK visa stamped, and picked me up on the way back. As we were traveling on this busy South Delhi road, i noticed this car that had seemed to erupt in flames all of a sudden. I think there was a couple inside the car, and could see them struggling to get out of the car.

I saw the car behind them stop, and the man inside rushed to their rescue. He tried opening the door of the still burning car with little success. Then he started waving others to stop. Why, i wanted to ask him? You don’t care for your life, and want others too to get their hands burnt (awesome pun..eh? I am convent educated, you know) trying to save a stranger.

Besides, no good ever comes out of being a good Samaritan in these modern times. The police will harass you. You will have to make a million court visits. Anyway, nothing can change fate. If they were destined to be saved then they would have been saved. Why should i waste half an hour of my life over a meaningless cause?

Thankfully this car was in the left lane, or traffic would have gotten totally messed up. You know how Delhi traffic is….one car breaks down and the domino effect ripples down to all surrounding areas resulting in long jams. The honking. The cursing. The cutting in and out of traffic. I take utmost care to be a responsible car owner – my driver has strict instructions not to use the horn more than fifty times in an hour.

Back to the burning car. As we were passing the car, i noticed Mr Braveheart managed to pull the husband out of the car and was trying to help the woman. He didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, but only getting severely burnt himself. Meanwhile nobody else bothered to stop, though traffic had considerably slowed down. Who said Delhi doesn’t care? Everybody’s eyes were focused only on that single car. What’s so bad if people were sensible enough not to endanger their own lives and add to the already existing problems.

I am famous in the circuit as being a strong willed, brave soul. The husband though, is a weakling. He actually considered stopping and helping, but i told the driver not to even think about it. Emotions! Another word for dumbness, i tell you.

Later on they said in news reports that the man got saved but the woman died. Apparently the fire was so intense that her burnt body melted into the car seat. Horrifying!

Now they say that Delhi didn’t care to help. Why should Delhi care? There are so many people in the city. If Delhi started stopping for every minor incident, then nothing will ever get done.

People come and People go. Who the hell cares!

(Author’s note: Kalpana is just a fictional character. Any resemblance to a living person is a mere, and rather startling, coincidence)

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