I just had an amazing massage last week! It made it a little easier to ease into this week. Every other week is my massage schedule. But occasionally I have a rough week with more stressors than usual. Or giving more massages than usual.

What most of you may not know is that I have chronic pain from an auto-immune disorder. And like most people with pain, some weeks it’s easier to handle the pain than others. This week was one of those “other” weeks.

Along with the waves of pain comes a lot of frustration and anger and the stress of putting off those who need massage. Normally I’d schedule a massage with my favorite relaxation specialist, but this week a massage was not meant to be.

So what could I do when I needed that quick decrease in stress – and sometimes even pain? When I had a moment between clients? Or as I was trying to decrease pain so I could sleep? Or in the doctor’s office when the nurse came to take my blood pressure?

It just so happened I’ve been reading “The Relaxation Response” by Harvard school of Medicine teacher, Herbert Benson, M.D.

First printed in 1976, this timeless classic addressed something that seems so obvious now – the mind body connection! But then, when medical technology was flourishing Dr. Benson’s colleagues had some serious disdain for his theory.

Dr. Benson believed medical treatment should have 3 legs, like a balanced stool. This would consist of medicines, surgery and medical procedure and self-care. He believed that self-care should account for 60-90% of the treatment.

Even now, with more doctors believing in the mind body connection, that’s a pretty lofty goal! But after years of research which included a profound study of a group who regularly performed Transcendental Meditation, he came to this simple “prescription” for self care and proof of it’s success.

It doesn’t take much time and could be performed in moments! As little as 10 minutes!

It doesn’t take any tools we need to go out and purchase.

It can be done anywhere, even during exercise or in a noisy room!

He breaks it down to simple steps:

First, sit down and get comfortable.

Then close your eyes.

Imagine the muscles of your feet relaxing, then move up your body, feeling each muscle melt all the way to your head.

Bring your focus to your breathing. Note when it goes in and when you breathe out.

After you exhale silently say a word or phrase that is peaceful to you. I like to use the word “one”. You may choose a prayer or simply a sound. It’s all good!

Notice as other thoughts enter your mind. Don’t judge them, don’t respond to them. Just notice and release and go right back to your breathing sequence.

Continue this for 10-20 minutes. It’s recommended twice a day.

And that’s it! Just rinse and repeat.

By the way, my blood pressure in the doctor’s office where it is usually in a range that falls somewhere outside of healthy? This time it was only 110/78.

Yesterday was “Say Something Nice Day”.  Yes, there really is day just for this very thing.  So if you didn’t catch the post on my twitter feed or my Facebook it might be a good time to add yourself and be in the know!

When working out, it’s important to make sure we’re working at a beneficial level.  Some people use heart rate monitors.  My method is a little less fancy.  I used to have a spin instructor who taught us to monitor the three levels by our speech.  At the lowest level we could fairly easily carry on a conversation.  At the middle level, it was difficult and breathy but we could still talk when necessary.  At the highest intensity we would be working so hard we didn’t want to talk!

In order to get us to check in with our bodies and heart rate, at random moments he’d say “Take a moment to turn and say something nice to your neighbor, because it’s always good to say something nice!”  And it was nice!  No matter if it was full of regulars or a mix with newbies, it was the friendliest class I ever took at my gym.

The mayor of North Charelston Declared June as “Communications Month” and decided to start it off right by designating June 1^st as “Say Something Nice Day”.  Mayor Summey says as a city they strive to “maintain a friendly atmosphere for our employees, citizens and guests. “

I suppose on the surface it seems nice, but a little gimmicky.  Maybe a little cheesy.  Do we really have to be reminded to say something nice?   I have to say, knowing the benefits of nice words, I think he’s on the right track!  Good move, Mayor!

Good thoughts equal very good feelings.

I know you’re familiar with dopamine.  Oh yes, even if you don’t know it by name, you have felt it!  Dopamine is a powerful chemical produced in our body and associated most often with the pleasure centers of our brain.

It serves many purposes, but let’s focus on one of our favorite ways our body uses this chemical.  Dopamine is our reward system.  The feelings of enjoyment we get that our body uses to motivate us!  It is transmitted into our system when something good happens like food or sex.

But it is also released whenever we have a loving feeling or good thoughts, which includes receiving a compliment or kind word. And it happens even when we observe the act of helping someone.

Do we really need a reminder to say something nice?

In the workplace a study shows that 60% of workers do not receive any compliments on the job!  That’s not a small number.  And how often do you assume people are mind readers?  Do they really know how much you appreciate them?

We often get so caught up in the daily reactivity we forget to be vocal with our gratitude.  Own your power to bring a little more pleasure to yourself and others!   While the official “Say Something Nice Day” has passed, do yourself a favor, give yourself (and a friend) a nice boost of the “feel good” and start celebrating this holiday EVERYday!

Amy & Marianne at The Relay For Life after a few hot sweaty laps around the Middle School gym!

A Massage For a Cause, a monthly fundraiser, was born out of an event I created to help one of my dearest girlfriends, Marianne Miles.  One year ago, only two weeks after diagnosis, her Father passed away after a very short battle with cancer.  Marianne is not one to sit around and mourn.  She is inspiring with the speed at which she leaps into action, putting her energy and grief into something that will change lives.

She began the team “Walk It Out” and set out to raise money for The American Cancer Society.  There was no question I would be involved.  Not only do I have a love for Marianne, but also her Father, Guy Warren.  His own battles to live mirrored my own Fathers with a liver transplant and then cancer.  I deeply empathize with the struggles and emotions that come with the fight to live.  Guy did it with grace and humor.

We held the first A Massage For A Cause on April 16th – the one year anniversary of Guy’s death.  I had a day packed full of 50minute relaxation massages.  I had hours of massage ahead of me.  That was a bit intimidating even for a seasoned massage therapist.   But I finished invigorated!

After everyone had left Marianne and I sat in the lobby and recalled stories clients had shared with us that day.  Almost everyone who came in there had family who had struggled through or lost someone to cancer.  There were tears, laughter and fellowship.  It was beautiful and gently therapeutic for all of us.  We had to do this again.  And we did in May!  A week later I went to the Relay For Life event to hand over the final donation check.

I was able to be at Siegel Middle School in Murfreesboro, TN the night of the event and it was an inspiring night full of tears, laughter and music to keep the walkers motivated until the 6AM end time.  Not being a night owl – I needed lots of all three to keep going!

What started out as one silly thing, became serious and a big motivator for me as I walked round and round the track with Marianne Miles.  Face painting became art as the painter (who told us her Grandfather is battling Lung cancer – his third cancer) created a floral masterpiece on my cheek with each flower representing a client I have lost to cancer in this past year.

Each cancer patient and survivor I work with are precious to me and I am always looking for ways to honor them.  This annual Relay For Life event is the start of something wonderful.

Next year Live Well Massage has committed to doubling its donation to “Walk It Out” so if you were unable to participate this year, I hope you’ll be part of this amazing night next year!

May 2010 Graduating Class

As many of you know, I have the honor of teaching a few classes at Mind Body Institute.   I love it.  Not just a little bit of love but great gigantic bucketfuls of love!

Not only does teaching challenge me to always be my best and continue to stretch way out of my comfort zone, but these students inspire me!   Every day I’m at the school I get instant passion and motivation to dig deeper, try harder and become a better therapist and person.

This last class was a joy to work with!   Nine women came together to work, learn and encourage each other to become the best they could be.  Many had made very big sacrifices to be there at the school.   I heard stories of families pulling together, making financial sacrifices and defeating language barriers to see this graduation happen!

It is with much excitement and honor that I see these women move from students to colleagues.  I am very proud to be serving with each and every one of them!

Lining the entryway to my YMCA sit several white rocking chairs that have the most wonderful words scrawled in black paint across the back.  Words like “patience” and “confidence”.  Words that if we pay attention to them carefully enough, make us think.

I’ve gotten in the habit, after my morning spin class to sit in one of the rocking chairs and simply be for several minutes before running out to my car, rushing home and starting the day full of doings.  It’s too easy to jump into routine, rushing from one thing to another.

I know this because I have been guilty from one project to the next, getting into a steady cadence of reacting and moving to the next project.  React and move to the next project.  React and move to the next project.   It’s so easy, isn’t it?

But most of us agree that this isn’t the way to live.  That this pattern pulls us into the mindless living we work to avoid.

I find the most effective way to stop this pattern is by creating a new one so I plan “The Big Stop” throughout my day.  Planning it, as in actually writing it in my daily schedule, most of the time in all bold letters so it looks something like this:  STOP!!!

The first one in my day is always those 10 minutes in those rocking chairs.

Today I decided to sit in “compassion”.  It was the perfect reminder to be kind to myself.  I reviewed my self talk during spin.  There were a few moments where I had decided I wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t in shape enough.  Blame it on the chair, but compassion kicked in and I had a talk with my self (not out loud – wouldn’t recommend it) and praised myself for coming out this morning, for working so hard, for giving up all that sweat and drinking up near a whole liter of water!

Then I became aware of the light breeze that felt so good, and how it blew a tiny fuzzy hair against my cheek.  I watched two birds fighting over something next to the little water fall and remembered how much I love the sound of trickling streams.  The door opened to the gym and I caught the smell of popcorn they were making at the front desk.  I reminded myself of what an amazing day it was going to be.  And I smiled before a deep breath, standing and sauntering to my car.

So what can your “Big STOP” look like?  It can be anything you want it to be.  But let me get you started with some ideas.

1.  Simple Meditation – focus on the air moving in and out of your body.  How does it feel when it enters?  Follow it, see where it goes.  Notice the sensations of your body as you breathe out.

2.  Body Scan – Start at your head or your toes and be very aware of how they feel.  Are they cold?  Warm?  Move along your body, talk to the muscles (say nice things!), and breathe into sore areas.

3. Look for something new – What do you see around you?  Everything is always changing.  Birds come and go, plants bloom and die, leaves and branches scatter.  Are there people around?  Do you catch bits of conversation here or there.

4.  Close your eyes – Engage your other senses!  What do you smell?  Hear?

5.  Become very conscious of your thoughts – Are they good thoughts?  Positive?  Compassionate?  Take a moment to correct thoughts, remind yourself how that next task will be effortless and easy.  If you have daily intentions it’s a great time to focus on them!

Have you got more ideas for “The Big STOP”?  When do you find it most useful?  Share with us all because together we can help each other live well.

Nashville, my home, is in the midst of a crisis.  We watched our city flood, feeling helpless, and now I hear over and over again “what can I do?” as we’re anxious to stop that feeling and take control of the situation!   One friend told of her frustrating experience this weekend.  She was dressed, ready to go in boots and a car full of cleaning supplies!  She caravanned with a group of people from a local volunteer organization into an area that was said to be devastated by flood!

At their first stop, the neighborhood was surprisingly intact.  It seems an anxious homeowner had called for help before the flooding actually hit the homes.  The second stop a group had been out the day before and already gutted the home in need.  At the third stop, neighbors and family had gathered en masse and while they were walking around, looking for things to do, they were told continuously that things were already under control and there was no need for additional people at that time.  She went home feeling less than helpful.

If you’re ready to do something for our community, but are feeling stuck, don’t give up!  There’s still so many ways you can help.  Remember, even the small things feel big to those who are feeling the stress right now.

1. Get creative with RAOK (Random Acts of Kindness) – I have a dear friend whose home was flooded not long after she, her husband and baby grabbed their laptops and a small suitcase and headed for higher ground.  While shopping in Home Depot for a dehumidifier another shopper, a stranger, recognized her as someone dealing with a flooded home and handed her a $50 Home Depot gift certificate.

It’s easy to be an angel when you keep your ears open and your heart open to possibilities.  Now would be a great time for free hugs, notes of joy and encouragement in unexpected places, the gift of active listening or simply being a resource of community resources available!

2. Clean out your closets – De-clutter AND help the community!  How many of us keep wardrobes of several clothing sizes in our drawers and closets?  Let’s live confidently in the bodies we have now and give away those clothes that no longer fit.  There are some people still wearing the one or two outfits they’ve had since they fled their homes.

3. Show compassion and kindness in the every day – Make a point to smile more often at strangers.  Be patient with others.  Fear and anxiety often have ways of coming out in angry, gruff talk or being short of temper.  Be understanding and answer softly with compassion.

4. Provide a meal – Many in the community are providing temporary housing for other families.  Save them an evening of cooking and clean up by inviting them into your home, or simply take them a meal you’ve cooked or purchased so they can enjoy good food and spend the evening relaxing or taking care of their immediate needs.

5. Got Babysitting Skills? – Many families are in the process of cleaning up, but don’t want to have their children in that environment.  If you know such a family, offer to watch their children while they clean, make phone calls or go to appointments to deal with insurance , FEMA or contractors.  Being able to focus on the task at hand is an invaluable gift!

6.Remember, this will be a long process so don’t forget those affected several months from now – While there is an immediate need in our community, there will still be hurdles for those affected in the coming months.  Be part of the follow up.  You’ll be amazed how your offer to help paint, move furniture, cook meals or offer a quiet respite will be appreciated two months from now!  Our neighbors, friends and family will still be carrying the stress of financial and logistical burdens far after the fundraisers and news hype are over.

7.Commit to Long Term Giving – It may not be possible to give the large donation you’d like to give to one of the many community fund drives.  But look long term.  Can you give up eating out one day a week or every other week?  Is there a treat you could give up and instead commit to directing that money to an organization taking donations for the next 3 months?  Six months?

It adds up fast!  A $300 donation may not be possible now, but how easy is it to an extra $15 a week in your budget?  It’s really not that hard!  That’s $60 a month and $360 over six months!

8.Share Your Knowledge – Now it’s your turn.  Do you know of a resource for the community?  Do you have a great idea for helping others?  Take a moment, leave a comment below and you’ve already become an angel to others.