We’ve all been there — palms sweating, heart pounding, and mind racing.

Even when we should be asleep, we find ourselves staring at the ceiling, thinking about what might happen if I do this or what might be the result if I do that.

Or maybe you actually slept…only to wake up with a growing sense of panic. Trust me, I’ve been there. Have you ever been literally attacked by anxiety and not even understand why? Yeah. Me too.

Sometimes it gets so bad that it can force us into the worst decision of all—inaction. We feel stuck. Frozen.

Now, there are certain degrees of anxiety and it’s different for everyone, but at its core, anxiety is just one of the many masks of fear.

I’m sure you’ve heard all the little acronyms that are supposed to make you feel better about fear, like False Evidence Appearing Real. Or the inspirational quotes that supposedly make it easier to deal with like, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” As Barney Fife once famously replied, “Well, that’s what I’ve got brother…fear itself!”

Personally, I have not found sayings like that to be of much use. Even repeating them again and again doesn’t work for me.

Thankfully, I have uncovered at least one secret to effectively dealing with fear. Do you want to know what it is?

Here goes…

How to Get Rid of Anxiety

I’ve learned that successfully overcoming fear and ridding ourselves of anxiety can begin by doing one simple thing: examining and understanding exactly what fear is.

Sounds simple, right? But remember…something simple isn’t always easy, and that’s certainly the case with this. Here’s why.

We become irrational in the face of fear because our minds give an almost physical presence to fear.

It may be a tough concept for my sons to believe—after all, they’ve only known me a bit more than twenty years—but there was a time when I was afraid of public speaking. I felt compelled to be on a stage. I desperately wanted to perform. Yet, I was terrified.

The anxiety would start creeping in days before a show. If I had something scheduled for Saturday, by the Wednesday before I wouldn’t be able to eat. Even in advance, I was that scared. So I began to dissect it.

In The Noticer, Jones deals with a man who is swept up in fear. He’s been fired several times because he couldn’t overcome his fear. He is divorced and during one of the last conversations he had with his wife, she said, “I cannot live the rest of my life with the guy who believes that the sky is falling.”

Jones explains to him that you can seek the truth about what you’re afraid of—the truth of what fear is—and that will set you free.

What it comes down to is this: fear is actually a vapor, a mist; it doesn’t really exist.

Fear is nothing in the world but a misuse of the creative imagination that has been placed inside of you.

That’s right, your imagination drives your fear. And the exciting part is that when you examine fear and really identify it, you do three things:

1. You Unlock Your Confidence

Getting to the heart of what fear is gives you an immediate confidence boost. Why? Because the recognition of this powerful, creative imagination inside of you is proof that you were put here to do great things.

The most successful people in any type of business are people who have great imaginations. They can imagine every angle, every piece, every outcome, and they can see the next move before it happens. They can think their way out of a problem. They’re creative, they’re intelligent, and their minds work non-stop.

They have found a way to utilize their imagination to work toward their goals instead of using it to feed their fear.

You may be thinking, I don’t know that I have a great imagination.

Listen, if you struggle with fear in any area of life, I promise you’ve got a great imagination for one reason: you’re picturing a future that doesn’t even exist.

Now that you know you do have a great imagination, isn’t it time you put it to good use?

A good, easily understandable translation of the Bible is great in these times. Read or get it on Audible and use it to transform your mind by learning to give those fears you are imagining to the Creator.

2. You Recognize the Effect Fear Has on Your Life

Once you’ve determined fear is nothing but the misuse of the creative imagination that has been placed inside of you, you can break it down even more to see how it affects your daily life.

In The Noticer, Jones refers to a study of what’s really happening during our episodes of stress and anxiety. He explains that:

• 40% of what you worry about will never happen.
• 30% has already happened and is in the past.
• 12% has to do with totally needless imaginings.
• 10% involves petty little things about what other people think.
• 8% is left for legitimate concerns that we mostly have control over, but we’re using all our energy worrying about the other things.

If you’re always anxious or worried about what will or won’t happen, you’re going to be so consumed with scenarios that will never happen that you won’t have the emotional, intellectual, or physical energy to deal with the situations that you can handle.

By calculating the odds of an event actually occurring (and in most cases eliminating the remote possibility of it happening in your life) you can deflect your subconscious and defeat negative thinking. This frees your mind to do two things:

1. Picture exactly what you want to happen (instead of focusing on what you don’t want)
2. Take the necessary steps to make it real

3. You Can Redirect Your Imagination

My son Adam has a phenomenal imagination. I remember when he was younger, the first time he was invited to a sleepover at a friend’s house he was scared.

He asked me why he was scared and I told him, “Adam, the reason you’re scared is because you’re thinking about things like, What if I want to come home, What if I don’t like the food, What if…?

He was misusing his imagination, right?

So I continued. “What you want to do is direct your imagination to what makes you happy.”

I told him to think about the fun aspects of the experience:

Will there be a campfire? My four best buddies will be there. We had such a great time in two hours together, now we’re going to spend 12 hours together, we’ll have six times the fun. I wonder if we’ll get to fish? Will Mr. John take us for a ride on the boat?

By directing his imagination to things that excited him, ultimately this process made Adam feel better and more fun to be around. After all, who’s more fun to be around, somebody who’s excited or somebody who’s miserable?

Redirect your fear and use it as a force for good. Use your anxiety as a tool to immediately flip things around and see all the good that can come from a new opportunity or experience. Utilize your imagination to picture the best possible outcome.

It will take practice. It will take patience. But I know you can do it—you can get rid of anxiety.

When you feel anxious or afraid, trust that you’re one step closer to the life you are meant to live.

Has someone ever told you what they really believe is holding them back?

It's hard to get people to answer that question honestly, yet the honest answer holds tremendous value to both the person answering and the person interested in helping.

One of the tools I use to get honest answers to that question is an introductory survey. Whenever someone joins my email list, we automatically send them a survey that helps me get to know who they are, what goals they have, and how I can help them accomplish those goals.

The fourth survey question asks, "What's the biggest problem keeping you from accomplishing your goal?"

It only took a brief scan of recent answers to notice a pattern:

• "Self confidence"
• "Fear of failure"
• "Lack of confidence"
• "I get in my own way"
• "Self-talk"

While confidence and belief in oneself aren't the only topics that come up, they're certainly among the most popular.

Here's the truth: everyone struggles with self-belief at some point in life. And if someone tells you they haven't, they just might be a presidential candidate. (In other words: They're lying. Ha!)

How do I know?

Because strengthening your belief in yourself is a continual trip to the gym—you'll always be lifting weights.

You may have tremendous belief in your mission or your calling, but if you struggle to maintain that same conviction of belief in yourself, there are three keys I want you to remember.

Three Keys to Stronger Self-Belief

1. Your belief comes from your thinking.

This statement is one of the most foundational understandings you can have about what you're trying to build with your life.

We often say that our choices determine where we end up, that they determine our character. That's true to a degree, but it's not the foundation.

The foundation is our thinking.

Remember, every choice you'll ever make is totally determined by what you think, how you think, and how long you think about it. The good news, of course, is you can direct your thinking.

2. You direct your thinking by what you seek…or don't.

God's greatest paradox: your thinking determines your choices…yet you're allowed to choose how you think. You're allowed to choose what you think. And maybe most importantly, you're allowed to choose what you will not think.

Isn't that funny?

Your thinking determines your strength of belief, your lack of belief, your struggle with belief, and your absolute belief. The beautiful thing is you direct your beliefs the same way you direct your thinking.

You direct your thinking by what you CHOOSE to watch, the people you CHOOSE to be around, what you CHOOSE to read, what you CHOOSE to listen to, and where you CHOOSE to place your focus. At the same time, you direct your thinking by what you CHOOSE not to watch, whom you CHOOSE not to spend time around, what you CHOOSE not to read or listen to, and many other things.

3. You have to guard your thinking.

Strong self-belief is not a game you win once and for all. Strong self-belief is constantly dependent upon your thinking. Your thinking is something you must constantly strengthen and protect.

Why? Because belief is a part of your thinking.

Therefore, you must be on alert. YOU are the physical security guard who admits or turns away the people, things, or activities that will influence your thinking. You set boundaries for what you will and will not accept into your life.

What to Do When Belief Wavers

You may know that 51 publishers rejected my first novel, The Traveler's Gift, for a period of three and a half years. A lot of them didn't say it nicely either.

Here are four things you can do whenever you feel your belief begin to waver. These kept me going through those years of rejection, and I've continued to use them ever since.

1. Speak Your Belief

I had a lot of belief in The Traveler's Gift when I wrote it, but as more and more rejections came my way, maintaining that belief became harder and harder.

One of the first things I would do when doubt started to creep in was to call a trusted friend. He knew his position in my life and I knew my position in his. We were there to encourage each other. I knew that when I called him he was going to say, "Buddy, we've got this—don't worry. This is not a game that has a deadline; this is a game we play until we win."

Occasionally, he would have some doubts, too. He would call me and ask, "Buddy, is this going to happen?" And I would say, "Yes, of course it's going to happen."

We made sure to regularly speak our belief.

2. Seek Proof of Your Belief

In addition to speaking my belief, I would seek out things that would build belief in me. I researched books that had changed the world to see what the process I was enduring had been like for them.

I found that Gone with the Wind had been turned down by 32 different publishers.

Dr. Seuss was repeatedly rejected. Publishers said that children would think his books were ridiculous.

Even The Jungle Book was almost never published. In fact, in one of the many rejection letters Rudyard Kipling received, one "expert" actually wrote, "You simply do not have a grasp of the English language."

Finding that authors much greater than me had experienced what I was currently experiencing was a relief. And this exercise built belief in me.

3. Ask Empowering Questions

Ask questions that remind you why you started trying to do whatever it is you're doing.

For example, I would ask myself, "Is The Traveler's Gift something that will help people who are hurting?"

Yes.

"Is it good for God?"

Yes.

"Is it something that will last, that will stand the test of time?"

Yes.

"Is it something that anybody's done before?"

No.

"Do I feel like this book was put in me for a purpose?"

Yes.

Ask questions that reconnect you with your "why." Write them down. Commit them to your memory.

4. Feed Your Belief Daily

There are many ways to feed your belief in yourself on a daily basis (the previous three tips all help), but one thing I've found useful is the presence of physical reminders.

I both have framed rejection letters from famous publishers for The Traveler's Gift hanging in Wisdom Harbour Studios. They serve as a constant reminder that other people are not the decision makers in our lives.

Always remember this: NO ONE'S negative opinion about your worth and your work contains even a smidgen of actual power. Nothing as transient as what someone else thinks is valuable enough or strong enough to derail your efforts as you strive to accomplish what you have set out to do for your family and the people you want to reach.

What can you do to strengthen your self-belief? What will you choose to think and do to support your sense of purpose? Who and what can you seek for reinforcement? Who can you call when you need encouragement?

Take a few minutes to think about what you want for yourself and your future. What empowering questions can you ask that will help steer you towards a feeling of certainty? Is there a tangible item you can place in your line of sight to remind you to keep going? Don't wait—put it where you can see it daily.

All of these actions when practiced daily will increase your level of belief. I know you can do it. You've got this.