tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341Thu, 24 Oct 2024 22:21:28 +0000Most of the time it's like reaching around in the dark, but every once in a while I feel like I'm making an educated guess.http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)Blogger147125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-3026084316877145899Fri, 22 Mar 2013 23:41:00 +00002013-03-22T19:41:56.336-04:00I'm feeling so down, blue, depressed, dejected, rejected, isolated, trapped. Sick of it all and wishing that I could just stop being me for a while. I don't even want to get into the stupidness of why I feel so down I guess I just want BF to be so conditional with his love. I wish I could understand what he is thinking, but he doesn't even talk to me anymore. No smiles. No kisses. Nothing. http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2013/03/just-need-to-let-it-out-don-read-it-if.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2892714872634090906Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:00:00 +00002012-12-14T19:00:03.112-05:00Everyone always talks about how STRONG I am when they hear my story, how brave I am, how exceptional I am. Whether I believe in all of that or not, I feel like that and all i am has been stripped away and I'm lying doubled-over, naked, exposed, raw. I feel as if a hole has been blown through me. There's just this emptiness. I spent all day today crying and sleeping. Not very productive, http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/12/from-my-heart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1University City Philadelphia39.956974 -75.199769tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2978514880894550715Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:51:00 +00002012-10-28T20:52:21.516-04:00 This is a survey that I made to elicit responses from women and men about the circumstances surrounding the birth of their children. &nbsp;I'm starting a business the aim of which is to support women and their partners through pregnancy, childbirth, and new-parenthood. &nbsp;I am currently in training to become a birth doula, a childbirth educator, and a lactation educator. &nbsp;As part of my http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/10/birth-survey.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-1133636052887565248Thu, 13 Sep 2012 18:59:00 +00002012-09-13T14:59:00.294-04:00Better mood. Happier post. . .&nbsp; Sorry it's been so long, but now I finally have something to write about. July 24th I had total hip replacement surgery. &nbsp;The night before, I showered twice, using antibacterial soap, per the doctor's orders and then anxiously sat around, not eating or drinking and definitely not sleeping, until it was time to head to the hospital &nbsp; I arrived at http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-hip-saga-continues.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-7269201830013454674Tue, 28 Aug 2012 05:02:00 +00002012-08-28T01:02:27.400-04:00I have a real post coming, honestly I do, but right now I just need to talk about something that's driving me fucking nuts. I wrote a letter to LM's school psychologist the other day requesting that she and LM's second-grade teacher meet with BF, the Ex, and I to discuss the state of things and maybe some strategies that we all could employ to deal with LM's major behavioral and emotional http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/08/fuck-fuck-fuck.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2186613766293929707Wed, 13 Jun 2012 21:02:00 +00002012-06-13T17:02:00.313-04:00<!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/06/parenting-conundrum.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-1086159158636114656Sun, 03 Jun 2012 02:56:00 +00002012-06-02T22:56:43.454-04:00Hi guys! Sorry it's been so long since I updated; student teaching was crazy. I ended up getting placed at a charter school in the Logan section of Philadelphia. &nbsp;Started observing the next day, started teaching four days after that. &nbsp;It was a wild ride. &nbsp;The students were really difficult to work with. &nbsp;There was so little asked of them throughout their years in the http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/06/ridiculousness.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-777645703728445011Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:31:00 +00002012-01-26T21:01:59.963-05:00So I said I'd post when I knew something more about student teaching. Well, I do and I don't. I got an email Tuesday afternoon from the program coordinator that he had heard from the school I was waiting to hear from the previous afternoon and they couldn't take me. Great turnaround time, huh? Yeah, he's just my favorite person in the world. Anyway, he asked me if Central Bucks School District http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/01/grrr.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-8710055203819492825Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:33:00 +00002012-01-24T14:33:29.501-05:00I went to the doctor yesterday, MRI in hand, and finally got a diagnosis as to what's wrong with my hip. I have osteonecrosis or avascular necrosis of the femoral head. Meaning that the part of my femur that butts up against my pelvis to form my hip is dying due to lack of blood. This is caused by either my long-term steroid use, my lupus, or both. It's frustrating to have another major http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/01/at-last.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2261484926301203264Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:29:00 +00002012-01-16T18:29:31.793-05:00I really thought I'd set things up so that they'd go smoothly for student teaching this semester. &nbsp;I had a meeting with the Associate Dean of Teacher Education and my Disability Resources advocate, we worked out what&nbsp;accommodations&nbsp;that they could give me without disrupting the goals of the program and I came out of that meeting feeling like I could be comfortable about how they http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2012/01/deja-vu.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-7068964858426970297Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:57:00 +00002011-11-06T14:57:31.039-05:00 Our Little Bat!!http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/11/halloween.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-5460129893800789030Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:17:00 +00002011-11-03T22:06:34.945-04:00Last night almost ended well. I told him that the decision to not get my pills was a dumb one, but that I'd been under pressure and hadn't had time to think it through. This turned into a second fight about how I fail to take responsibility when I screw up. We spent the rest of the night reading and went to sleep without another word. We spent another half an hour arguing this afternoon and http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/11/after.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-5673824209224028176Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:07:00 +00002011-11-02T21:07:41.516-04:00I've been through a tiny bit of hell this month. First, my Social Security benefits got cut in half because Pennsylvania stopped paying for my health insurance in June and they decided to take July, August, and September's premiums out of one check. &nbsp;And let me remind you that I get less than nine hundred dollars to start with, so the remaining funds were meager, but still enough to pay myhttp://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/11/greatest-birthday-ever.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2207140165912122460Sun, 16 Oct 2011 08:43:00 +00002011-10-16T21:03:59.491-04:00When I was in 9th grade I met the other me, I guess you could call her my soul mate. I don't know if they exist, but I know that if they do, she's mine. She was a year younger than I was, but we were both old souls and Aquarians to boot, so we knew that things like age were unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Initially she rubbed my then best-friend, Brooke, the wrong way, the same way http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/10/scarlet-begonias-and-touch-of-blues.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-6751284437816552980Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:17:00 +00002011-10-12T16:04:34.252-04:00Do your kids ever just break your heart into pieces without even noticing? LM was asked to draw a picture of his family this week. &nbsp;He drew his mom, his mom's boyfriend, his mom's boyfriend's daughter, and his dad. &nbsp;He captioned it "Dad me Mom [pseudo-step-sister]&nbsp;and&nbsp;Dad," Notice who's missing? &nbsp;Yep, that would be me. &nbsp;And notice that he's calling his mom's http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/10/melancholy-baby.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-3429707076352082216Fri, 07 Oct 2011 21:06:00 +00002011-10-18T00:35:59.824-04:00 How do you deal with an ever-present frustration in your life? &nbsp;Mine's BF's Ex-wife. Since our whole court&nbsp;debacle&nbsp;over where LM went to first grade, where she won, she has become more and more of an overwhelming frustration. &nbsp;Immediately after our court case she tried to&nbsp;renege on the transportation plan that she'd proposed to the judge and was questioned about for an http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/10/0-false-18-pt-18-pt-0-0-false-false.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1Lansdale, PA, USA40.2414952 -75.283786240.2172542 -75.3232682 40.265736200000006 -75.244304199999988tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2278943346768087515Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:51:00 +00002011-10-06T15:52:57.832-04:00http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/10/lms-halloween-costume-2010.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2096570454665925605Thu, 06 Oct 2011 02:16:00 +00002011-10-06T15:54:36.746-04:00Something's wrong with my eye. Feels like a corneal abrasion or something like that. It's watering like crazy and it's hard to open. It started bothering me around two o'clock. By six, when BF came home, I was laying on the couch, nose running, eyes tightly closed trying to...I dunno, disappear, I guess. BF saved the day though. He had vision correction surgery a few years ago and had steroid http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/10/owwwie.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-2148828625956937641Sat, 24 Sep 2011 03:18:00 +00002011-09-23T23:32:37.039-04:00Yes friends, it's that time of year once again, time for the Lupus Loop. Our team will be walking/jogging/running (ha!) the 2.5 miles of the loop in Fairmount Park on October 30th. Last time we did it it was a blast, lots of fun for everyone and we raised tons of money for a very good cause. I'd love for any of my readers to join team Lupus Sucks! But if you can't I totally understand. And nohttp://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/09/lupus-sucks.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-471389035672880379Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:54:00 +00002011-09-19T19:11:03.925-04:00I'm feeling very low. It sucks. I suppose the only upside to it is that I can easily recognize why I'm down and all of the factors that have lead up to this point. That doesn't seem to help though, I'm still sad about all of it, angry at a good portion of it, and downright pissed off at a bit. And I don't know how to resolve any of that for myself, so I figured that writing about it here http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/09/low.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-4295933607279510244Wed, 20 Jul 2011 22:13:00 +00002011-07-20T18:53:16.241-04:00So in the next week or so I'll be going to a password protected format because of student-teaching in the fall. There's plenty of stuff on here that it would be inappropriate for my students to know, so I figure that that's the best solution. So, email me at rachel.educatedguess@gmail.com if you'd like to keep on reading and I'll send you an invitation to read the blog. You'll have to sign up http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/07/going-password-protected.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-7583582863041876204Wed, 08 Jun 2011 11:53:00 +00002011-06-08T09:06:30.040-04:00Life's been kinda hectic for the last couple of months.At the end of April I finally miscarried. It was awful and no one warned me how awful it was going to be at all. Cramps were waking me up through all of the early morning hours, but just enough to be able to get right back to sleep. Around 7am they got worse and I was driftingly sort-kinda asleep until 9am when they started to be much morehttp://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/06/tids-n-bits.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-8499110535512551263Mon, 11 Apr 2011 15:08:00 +00002011-04-11T11:08:53.367-04:00 <!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/04/worries.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-8867685946158425186Fri, 01 Apr 2011 01:53:00 +00002019-03-31T16:29:42.972-04:00Well I must say it’s been quite a week. I’d been feeling…well, off, I guess. Just strange. Even for someone with as many issues as I do. Lots of little things that all added up to one big one. After two years without a period, I had several days of menstrual-like cramping mid-January, followed by nothing, no period, not even spotting. Usually a night owl, I found myself tired enough to go http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/03/untitled.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1729893415017616341.post-1913347336337688647Thu, 24 Mar 2011 15:39:00 +00002011-03-24T11:40:22.080-04:00 <!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; http://an-educated-guess.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-vacation-ever.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Rachel Suzanne)1