People sometimes think it woo woo when I talk about “leading one’s energy intentionally and holding their space” – but this is actually one of the places this comes into play. It’s all about the energy of the work; the lens you see it through, and the energy you bring to the table.

Try it on. Try on “working hard” – feel into it. Feel your body, what happens with your brain, feel any emotion that comes up for you. Now try on “present, open and curious”- feel into that. What’s different?

“Working harder” has a “force” to it, it’s pushing, it has a scarcity energy to it, it’s “tight”, it’s uphill, it’s exhausting. It does not inspire, it does not compel. It grinds.

“Being present in the moment, open, curious, leading my energy, managing my space, and being fully engaged in the work, finding the gifts in it – even enjoying it” (or whatever works for you ), has a different impact. All the sudden the space has opened up. Instead of force, I’ve stepped back, I’ve caught my breath, I’ve looked at how it can be more fun, more energizing, more organic.

Regardless of how “hard” something is, if I can, in the moment, start to find the opportunity in it and a bit more space, I’ve changed the energy I’m bringing to the table. My resource state, my ability to engage with the work, shifts. The exact same work – that was once hard and I was going to trudge through it, remains the same work, yet now I have more space to look at it, to work with it, to collaborate and leverage myself, to see new perspectives, and to even enjoy it.

I’ve been playing with this with clients for years,  imagine my delight when a client sent me this link today discussing positivity in work and that working harder is not the answer. It’s a 12 minute video from a TED talk by Shawn Achor. You’ll find some great statistics in here (love the way he does stats), and some easy ways to start increasing that positivity…that, oh by the way, will make you work better while you feel happy doing it.

The Happy Secret to Better Work

I take good care myself, but often when I come back from a week of intense work, I need 2 days of decompression. (My husband jokes that he’s never seen anyone so extreme on the gas pedal – I can go from 100 mph for 4 days, completely focused on “other”, to 0 mph in no time flat.) But this time it was different. And here’s why (so far as I can tell)…I raised my own bar on self-care and intentionality; I took self-care to a new level:

• I designed my week like a maniac up front, holding scheduling and self care boundaries like never before.
• I juiced, yes juiced with really good stuff, 3 days worth of juice before I left.*
• I packed a cooler with food I know makes me feel good and supports my energy levels.*
• I scheduled my workouts in – non-negotiable – and even got a Bikram Yoga Class in at the Funky Door on Polk (which is a necessary experience if you love hot and steamy yoga and happen to be in SF.)
• I diversified my week, very intentionally booking things together that made my heart sing.
• I was obscenely focused on value and super hungry to make sure that my clients got what they needed. At the end of all 4 days – I felt very well used. (This is a good thing for me.)
• I planned in fun stuff and breaks in between and even during events – good food, and local field trips to an awesome craft store, the fab coffee bar, an architectural book store, and even a walk through Japonesque gallery (wow).
• I meditated every day so I could be as clear and present as possible.
• I listened to great great great music.
• I stayed present. And recovered quickly when I “took off”.
• I kept one master “to-do” list to save mental energy (anyone else out there operating off of 3 to-do lists: computer, phone, and maybe a notebook or two?)
• I did work I loved. I focused on the people. My “WHY” was in full bloom.

Today is Saturday, it’s a “lay low” day. I’m still in my sweats. (I consider it a bonus I’ve brushed my teeth.) I’m catching up on some stuff. Hanging with my family. Teasing my dogs. Reconnecting with my juicer. I’m mellow, but not wiped. Feeling peaceful, but still humming in a really good way. While I know not every week will be like this past week, and that I won’t always be able to check these things off “the list”, and that sometimes…I’ll just fall flat, the experience is a gift. This week reminds me of the power we have as human beings to “get in front of it”, set ourselves up for success, and to not only serve our clients and teams better by doing so, but our families, and ourselves, as well. Even just doing one or two things can make all the difference in the world. I think the magic is in the decision and making it a priority.

What do you do to “get in front” of it so that you can serve best (while feeling great doing so?) Lots of things I’m thinking about, I’m about to amplify – ready?

*Note: I know the “have juice and food, will travel” thing only really works when traveling by car, however, I’ve done this when flying too by making my first stop from the airport Whole Foods or something good, or at a minimum researching local clean food places.

Both sets of circumstances warrant attention. Both impact spirit. Both influence effectiveness and creativity. The wrong will always demand attention, it will be obvious to those around it, it will sit in the spirits of those involved in it. It will stay. But the “right” – without awareness and intention – will often flee. It may be sensed for a moment, perhaps be less obvious, and get overridden by all else there is to move on to…next.

Human beings can be pretty masterful at brewing in the wrong; where they “fell short”; where they didn’t meet a goal; where they could have done it better. Talking about what’s not working, or what didn’t work, or pointing out what needs to be better, is an easy default for some of the smartest of people who mean great and want to do even more. Talking about what’s working or pointing out what’s going well is not as easy. Nor is accepting the praise and recognition for things going right. Yet it’s key.

And this is one of the reasons feedback can be so scary. Because so much feedback is geared towards the “bad”, there can be an automatic human response of “resistance” and fear to feedback. Before the feedback is even out, the person is prepared for the “bad”; their lens and experience is already shaded. The unnatural comfort with stewing in the “wrong” is also one of the reasons that out of 10 things, if 9 go great and 1 goes bad – the 1 gets the attention. The “one” is the one that can stick with a reputation for years. The “one” is the one that keeps people up at night, inspires fear to take risks, has people get “careful.” The “one” creates stuckness.

I’m thinkin’ this is not a totally energizing way to work with the human spirit or to inspire more creativity and excitement. How about you?

Instead? Try swapping the ratios of how you focus on “good” vs. “bad”. If you struggle here, just notice the pull to go to the bad. Notice the pull to move through celebration quickly – and then shift it. Stay. That 1 out of 9 that went badly? Note it, learn from it, and celebrate the 9 like crazy. Throw a party. For feedback? Go out of your way for “good”. Make a conscious effort to give people positive feedback. Treat it just a seriously as you would negative feedback. Acknowledge them for who they are and what they bring to the table (especially when things are going “wrong.”) When the “one” does happen to someone you know, love ‘em, help them learn from it, use it to grow.

Of course it’s important to be aware of where things don’t work, what can be improved, what downright sucks – and it’s even more important to focus energy and attention on the opposite side of the street. It’s core to your creative and compassionate spirit to honor the people (that includes yourself) for who they are and how they’re showing up. The good, the bad, the ugly – it all counts. Zoom in on some good and see how much easier the bad and the ugly become. (Funny that even in the “good, bad, ugly” cliche there are 2 “bads” and 1 “good”.)

Three quick places to look (btw, whichever one “perks” you the most is likely the one that wants attention):

1. Physical/Environmental Energy: How’s your nutrition? Your physical practice? Your “me” time and space to be present with yourself? Your physical environment? Those pantries, closets, refrigerators, cars, offices, etc. will not clean or organize themselves – but when clean and organized will give you multiple ROIs in self-care, energy management, and internal peace. I have clients who are shocked at how their environment (not to mention physical care) impacts their leadership presence and ability to influence. And it’s an easy fix.

2. Mental/Emotional Energy: How are you supporting yourself mentally and emotionally in the New Year? Are you focusing on what you want, or don’t want? Are you making complaints, or requests? Are you connected to what you’re grateful for, or to what you don’t have? Are you giving yourself full permission to have full emotions, or are you charging forward, suppressing, no time for those “unwanted” emotions? The good, the bad, and even the ugly are essential to emotional authenticity. Paying attention to where your mind goes and where you focus is key to setting yourself up mentally and energetically for a strong New Year. (Seriously, try it – I’ll bet you can find 10 reasons why 2012 is rockin, and 10 reasons why it sucks – check it out. Which area of focus gives you more voooom to lead well and live well? Hmmm.)

3. Vibrational and Relational Energy: What’s the vibe you’re putting out there? What’s the energetic impact you’re creating? We’re always having an impact – always. What that impact is is highly influenced by how intentional you want to be around it. Notice the energy you bring into a room. Notice the energy you bring to your relationships (especially the toughest ones), notice, shift as needed, and enjoy.

What’s true for you? What are you finding serves you for “getting in front of it” and setting yourself up for success? What is the impact on your ability to lead well? Whatever it is, please share it here, please do more of it, and have a fantastic 2012!

There’s a sneak peak into some of the topics buzzing around my meeting space this a.m. Which of these resonate for you? Which of these crave attention? Some of these may seem obvious or “oh, ya, I already know that” – but wait – don’t go there. Stop. Breathe. Take a deeper look. Give yourself the space to consider what you want/need to play better, and then look a little deeper. There is magic in the depths. Dive in. Get in front of it. And have an amazing New Year…

Who will you “become” in 2012? I notice that as 2011 comes to an end and 2012 is around the bend, people (present company included) talk about what they will “do” in 2012, what they want to “have” by the end of 2012, what goals and intentions they will set. They break it into quarters and months and fiscal years. Draw charts and vision boards, mind map it, set up accountability systems, all sorts of cool stuff. It’s juicy. And important. And powerful…

Want an even juicier place to look? Who will you become in 2012?

Becoming is different. It’s bigger than what you’ll do or what you’ll have – because it’s who you are. It’s you – at your core – no lies, no facades, just you. We’re always becoming something – how intentional we are about it determines the outlook that we’ll bring to the table and the level of success we’ll have. And here’s the really cool thing, the size of the game you play determines who you will become – so play big. Real big. Set those New Year’s intentions, and goals, and outcomes…go on, do it – it’s so good to do. And in the process, check in – who will you become?

Are the goals and outcomes you’re designing for yourself big enough to make you play a bigger game? Big enough to challenge you to become an even bigger version of your big beautiful self? Big enough to challenge you to DO more great things, and to BEcome even more??? Are they? If not, go back, dream big – and act.

Want examples of what this might look like? Have examples? Chime in and we’ll go from there.

To becoming.

An invitation for 2012 (if you so choose) is to put an extra fine lens this year on adding value to the services and offerings you provide…and to really look at what that truly means for you. To “add value” – that’s an amazing thing. It’s special. It makes someone’s life better. An outcome better. An organization better. A team better. It makes something better. Making an organization better to work for/with, making a product better for people, making a team better and happier just by the way you lead, making your relationships more connected and collaborative and…special. That is an honor. That is special.

Ready to play? Step into the question for yourself: What does it mean to add value? How do I want to do it? What is most meaningful? How do the people around me want/need me to “add value”? (Note: feel free to use “add value” or “make it better/stellar/wowzicle” as it resonates.)

And more specific questions – with one in particular you likely have not thought about…What is it to “add value” to your organization? To make it better. What is it to add value to your culture? What is it to add value to that project you’re working on or that person you’re working with? To your employee perks? To your client relationships? To your family? And to yourself? Yes, to yourself. Because while adding value is super important, and never a thing to be taken for granted - a promise (kept) of adding value for yourself is just as important.

For 2012, what is the value you want to add for yourself? Add it. Get specific. Make it better. Make it good. Dream a little dream and then realize it’s closer than you think. That personal “value added” will only amplify your ability to add extra value to all the people, businesses, relationships, products, clients, and more. You must add value for yourself if you are to be able to add great value for others. Go for it.

Assuming “bad” creates a negative and constrictive energy – no good. Assuming good creates expansive, safe and creative energy – very good. An easy and obvious choice, yet intention and choice are easier said than action and consistency. Why? 

Three common reasons: 1) lack of awareness – they don’t even realize they’re doing it, 2) habit – defaults can be tricky to shake, 3) busy-ness – for whatever reason, it seems easier and quicker to go to the dark side. (This of course is a lie – assuming good takes a lot less energy and has greater returns.) 

Of course if there was a #4 reason, it might be that there are some who get a lot of mileage out of assuming bad (yes, they do exist), but in my experience, that’s not the majority. (And I’m assuming that the people reading this want to assume good and lead well.) 

It’s easy to default to “defense mode” and to assume “bad” or to just not be aware of intention at all. Assuming good, or even being aware of someone’s true intention, takes awareness and curiosity to do this – and this is where we’ll often fail to “get it right.” When you move fast, when you have 4,368 things to do (by 6 tonight), and when you have so many competing priorities; awareness, curiosity, and “assuming good” are easily put on the back burner. The solution to this? Awareness, intention, commitment, and active engagement with assuming good: 70% of it is awareness, the other 30% is what you do with it.  

So how do you do it? 

Well…Assume good. 

If you want to build better relationships, better organizations, better results, and even inner peace – you have to assume good.   

Are there people out there who have hidden agendas and misguided intentions? Sure. But more often than not, those “hidden agendas” and “misguided” intentions are “made up”, misinterpreted, created out of fear and misguided assumptions. When one assumes good about the other (even if it may not be 100% accurate), a whole new kind of space opens up, a new level of conversation and connection, a very different kind of energy, and a completely different outcome.  Assuming good helps things go “right” – even for that 1% of the time when assuming bad may actually be the best thing to do.  

I was taught years ago that “intuition is always right, it’s the interpretation that is often wrong.” So listen to your intuition, and check it out. If your intuition guides you to assume bad, dig deeper, do your due diligence, and check it out. Something is likely off – but it may not be what you think.

Need help assuming good? Here are a couple of places to help you get there: 

1) What is the positive intention behind this person’s behavior?
2) What is this person defending or resisting?
3) What are you defending or resisting?
4) What do you appreciate about this person?
5) What is it like to be this person? (Get over “on their side”, stand in their “shoes”…what do you see?) 

If after reflecting on these, you still don’t feel good about it, name it, honor it, have an honest discussion with the object of your assumptions – you may be surprised. And if it’s still no good, and due diligence proves that having your hackles up is truly important, you have a whole new set of actions and conversation to have.

Of course, I’m assuming that something in this post will serve you – but please, back me up! Let me know what resonates, how you’ll use it, how you’re doing. 

Here’s to appreciating our assumptions – they are some of our biggest teachers.