"Angels and Quilt Pieces . . .Our Journey with a Katrina Family"

Charlie turns 10!

2012-01-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

An acquaintance told us early on that we had little chance of ending the cycle of poverty for these 4 kids. "Maybe for one of them" was her conclusion. I refuse to accept that dismal prediction.

Marquel is looking at a college preparatory high school. Annie is on the A-B Honor Roll again and dreams of being a doctor. Charlie admires pretty houses and nice cars. Chip is as smart as a whip and has not been exposed to the hardships of his older siblings.

As Charlie turns 10, we think back to the little 3 year old boy we first met at the shelter. His reaction to the trauma was to hit and kick, and even then he had to sit on my lap so I could hold his hands and feet while I read books to the kids. He never stopped running, and after a few days he never stopped talking. At the time we had no idea that the trauma was far wider and deeper than Hurricane Katrina.

What could we expect from a little boy who was beaten, abused, neglected, and abandoned by his mother, seldom if ever had food (much less healthy food), had a new baby brother at a time when he desperately needed his mom, nearly drowned in the flood water, witnessed sites, sounds and smells that are difficult for adults to process, suffers from ADHD, and probably feels abandoned again by his step-father who was unable to cope with the behavior of a traumatized little boy.

According to doctors and therapists, by the age of 9-10, children have developed their personality. When we look at Charlie now we see a little boy who is very attached to us, sweet, charming and athletic. He has a great sense of humor and an uncanny ability to process and retain information. He likes everyone and wants everyone to be his friend.

One would think that a child who has been nearly starved would eat anything, but we find the opposite to be true. He never had the opportunity to grow accustomed to the tastes and textures of good food. Little by little we are able to introduce new foods and hopefully some day he will understand the importance of good nutrition.

We have watched amazed as we see him try to tease another child into being his friend, is learning to keep his hands and feet to himself when frustrated or angry, and seldom uses the bad language to which he was exposed to so freely. We have seen tears of sadness and love to hear him laugh, both of which were absent for so many years. He fiercely protects his belongings and has lost the "disposable" attitude that can come with being given too much. He is learning to deal with change, and how to keep himself organized, a big challenge for all ADHD kids.

At times we have questioned ourselves; are our middle class standards and expectations too high? But what happens if we lower the expectations - they will only come up to the bar that we set. Only time will tell how much of a difference we have been able to make for these kids, and there will be a point for all of them where they will have to choose the right path to their goals and aspirations. At least we have given them that option.

When I say "we" - you are an important part of that equation too - this is not something that we have done or could continue to do without your support.

Until next time....
Stephanie

Peace, Joy, Hope and Love

2011-12-26T06:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve morning was a little hard for Charlie. His sisters were coming to our house for a few hours and his anxiety was showing. He has become very protective of his space in our home, both literally and emotionally. After a small meltdown, I sat down and talked to him about it. I explained that we might be a little unsure about how the day would go, but it was Christmas and we should do our best to make it a good day.

At church the kids were given an Advent wreath, candles and the banners to color that say Hope, Joy, Peace and Love.

So I asked him "What does Christmas mean?" He looked at me rather puzzled. "Peace - what does Peace mean?"

"Try to get along" he said.

Me: "Joy, what does Joy mean?"

Charlie: "Be happy"

Me: "Love - what does Love mean?"

Charlie: "Be nice to each other"

Me: "What does Hope mean?"

Charlie: "Hope we have a good day"

In the beautifully simple terms of a child, we wish you and yours Peace, Joy, Love and Hope this season.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Stephanie and Randy
Mr. Thornton, Marquel, Annie, Charlie and Chip

Time to Give Thanks

2011-12-02T05:25:00.000-08:00

This year has gone by so fast, and there is so much to be thankful for:

Marquel is in 8th grade, on the A-B honor roll, and loves her sports. She has a Big Sister, which is so awesome, as it gives her someone she can talk to and look up to.

Annie is doing much better in school this year, and she is so proud. She loves to read and always has a list of books that she wants, which we try very hard to provide for her. Both girls are more involved in their neighborhood church, leading in the singing, which is great for their self esteem.

Since we don't see the girls as often as we used to, we are surprised how tall they are getting, and how fast they are growing up. After some difficult times and decisions for us, we are pleased that the girls are doing better and developing a closer bond with their step father.

Charlie loves school, friends and sports. His football team made it to the playoffs, and he was really proud.

Chip is almost as tall as Charlie now. We have him most weekends and the most important thing is X-Box and computer games! Every morning he is at our house he asks "Do we go to church today?" He LOVES church!

Mr. Thornton turned 75 this year (which he really doesn't want anyone to know!) It has been a very hard year with the loss of his son and we can see the emotional and physical toll it has taken on him. Not being able to work is very difficult for him. It seems very unfair that SSI denies him the right to do any kind of work.

When Mr. Thornton agreed to take in his wife's kids, we told him we would help out as best we could. This is a life-long mission and we can't thank all of you enough for your help and assistance.

With Christmas approaching, we are mindful of the on-going needs of the family. We would like to provide Mr. Thornton with the following:

Paper products such as toilet paper, napkins, paper towels
Cleaning supplies
Soaps - laundry soap, dish soap and hand soap

The girls are growing, Marquel is now wearing a size 10/12 ladies. Because she is harder to fit it means she need to try clothes on before purchasing. It is also important for he to start learning to shop wisely.

If you would like to help - here are some choices:

Visa Gift Card (or cash) - so that they can use at store of their choice
Tax Deductible contributions can be made to St. John Lutheran Church (please indicate Thornton Family Fund on your check)
Gifts can be purchased for Mr. Thornton and/or the kids. Email me if you would like a wish list.

We often remind ourselves where these kids would be if Mr. Thornton had not been willing to take them in. Thanks to all of you who have supported this family in so many different ways, they are thriving. While Mr. Thornton is not accustomed to relying on others, and it is hard for him to show his appreciation, please know that he is very thankful for all you have done for him and the kids.

Happy Holidays to you and your families!

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

"It's just stuff"

2011-09-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today on my facebook, in response to a friend's post, someone commented on the fires in Bastrop. The post said, "It is hard to remember that stuff is just stuff".

Well, that is true, however. . . it tells me that this person has never lost everything they owned nor have they been there with others to see the devastating effects that a disaster leaves behind. The trauma is only beginning for those affected by this disaster.

For many, insurance is a luxury (and in some disasters, insurance won't help anyway). Sure, the mundane things of life can be replace; a fingernail clipper, scissors, pens and pencils, all those things we use every day that we don't even think about.

It is a precious things that are missed - a picture of mom, a memento of the past, those things to which we attach fond memories - those are the things that cannot be replaced. When Mr. Thornton is reminiscing he often starts to get up and then gets a strange look on his face as he says "oh that's right, I don't have it any more".

For the first time in his life Charlie has a bed that is all his own. He is very attached to his bed, his pillow and his blankets. For a little boy to lose his bed would be trauma that we couldn't imagine, to say nothing about the toys and games that he protects fiercely.

Since we have had fires all around us, I am packing a suitcase just in case. I am making sure all the important documents have been returned to the fire safe box and wondering what other important things I should put in a box ready to go at a moment's notice.

No matter how we perceive ourselves - richer, smarter or more prepared for the unexpected, we can all say
"There but for the grace of God go I"

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

FEMA - 6 Years Later!

2011-08-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

It has been six years since Hurricane Katrina.

Last week Mr. Thornton received a letter from FEMA stating that they had "overpaid" him in the amount of $2,000.00! No explanation, no proof of any kind, simply a request for him to pay it back.

Since we helped Mr. Thornton through the mountains of confusing paperwork, we know exactly what he had received. Are they referring to the $2,000.00 initial payment given to citizens following their evacuation from affected areas? Now they want it back??? They didn't tell him it was a loan!

After all he went through with FEMA, filling out stacks of forms to discover weeks later that they were lost, being denied benefits, and reapplying, this all seems just a bit incredulous.

He can write a letter of "explanation for accepting this overpayment", or he can appeal their request for repayment. Since he has no idea why they think he was overpaid, how can he write a letter of explanation?

So we will write a letter of appeal and point out a few facts:

Mr. Thornton lost his home.

He lost all his 68 years of accumulated possessions (much of which was stolen when he was denied access to his home in New Orleans).

He lost his source of income.

He lost his close-knit family support system.

Unable to return to his damaged home, he now has to pay twice the price in rent without his grown children who lived with him to contribute to household costs.

He lost his wife to her alcoholism, and she abandoned 4 small children with him.

A serious injury forced him to accept Social Security Disability, but ironically, that denies him the right of having any income, even for a job that he could physically do.

So we helped him write the Appeal letter, explained that Mr. Thornton accepted what they gave him, did not attempt in any way to defraud them, and hope they drop it!

Will the trauma never end?

Keep him in your prayers . . .

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

A Great Summer

2011-08-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy and eventful summer. The kids have been ready to go back to school for about a month!

Charlie finally got to go to camp. He went to TBarM Camp in New Braunfels, a Christian day camp. He enjoyed it thoroughly and made friends with a boy who was adopted from the Ukraine. We found it fascinating that he chose a boy with a similar background to his own.

Chip was able to spend about half the summer with us. He LOVED his swimming lessons! Thank you to the sponsors of the swimming lessons, they were thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated. These lessons have been high on our priority list each year as it not only gives them a life skill, hopefully it helped them overcome their fear of water and floods.

Marquel was able to go to church camp thanks to the great people at St. John Lutheran Church. From what we hear it was a meaningful experience for her. She has spent time with her new Big Sister from the Big Sister/Big Brother program. Her Big Sister asked coworkers to donate school supplies for the kids and was very proud to bring the kids everything that they needed.

We have Annie signed up for a Big Sister as well. Hopefully this will give the girls a friend that they can look up to and talk to. We are working to get Annie tested and qualified for some extra help at school. Her early childhood has left her stuck at about a 6 year old emotional state. This results in difficulty with her school work as she is still learning like a 6 year old and we fear that 6th grade work will be unmanageable for her as we have seen her grades decline over the past few years. Please pray that we can get her the help she needs.

Charlie is back at football, and loving it. We can see how much improvement he has made in a year's time. He has progressed from not eating at all to eating TWO fruits and TWO vegetables every day! This summer he has learned to eat 3 full meals a day and sometimes even 4. He still makes funny faces when he has to chew his fruits and vegetables, but he at least gets them down. Regular early bedtime, better nutrition and a better state of mind has made a big difference for him.

They are always excited for school to get started, and they LOVE getting their new shoes. We find that good quality shoes might be a little more expensive but they last several times as long as the cheaper ones.

A big huge Thank You for all who helped the kids have a great summer, new school shoes and uniforms, and experiences that they will not forget.

Throughout the summer we have had some big ups and downs. Once again we learned how much it means to us to have the love and support of all of you.

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Be sure to check out our Sister Blog which is a little more "anonymous"

New Sister Blog

2011-08-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Due to the fact that "Our Kids" are getting older, I felt that it would be good to start a "sister blog" that will allow discussion without violating the privacy of the kids.

I will not send an email when there is a new post ~ please use the "Follow by Email" link if you are interested in receiving an email each time a new post is added. The new blog is "Our Kids" by Choice

My hope is that in a more anonymous way you will be able to learn more about the issues that come with kids who have been abused and neglected.

I will continue to post on this blog also, and because my email list is getting so long, I encourage you to use the "Follow by Email" on this blog as well.

Events of the last weeks have shown us once again that the love and support you all show to us is so valuable. We could not do this without all of you!

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Lessons in Freedom

2011-07-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

This morning I asked the kids "Monday is a holiday, what holiday is it?"
"Independence Day!" shouted Annie.
"What does that mean? Independence from what?" I asked.
"From Spain!" Annie shouted again.

Well, I guess they don't teach that until at least 6th grade??? Of course when I said "England" and Randy said "Great Britain", that compounded the confusion.

When Randy starts a story by saying "When I was a child . . ." it elicits unanimous groans from the kids. Occasionally Charlie will ask if we can trap a wild bird and keep it in a cage as a pet. Then Randy starts in ~ "When I was a child . . . my dad and I caught a couple of sparrows and kept them in a cage for a few days. One day I decided it was not right to keep them in the cage, so I let them go. Those two little birds did not fly away, instead they flew up in the sky over my head, chirping, singing and putting on an acrobatic show that I have never seen birds do before or since."

This incident made such an impression on Randy ~ what true freedom means. I wish I had a recording of "O America" that Randy sang in church this morning - but here is one of my favorite links for this song:

Happy 4th ~ and thank you to all who work for our freedoms.
Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Hard Lessons and Sweet Rewards

2011-06-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

Occasionally there is a really big Red-Letter kind of day!

A few weeks ago Randy had business in Houston, so Randy's sister and I took advantage of the opportunity to take Charlie to NASA Space Center. Charlie was elated to have Miss Debbie visiting, and to be able to spend the night at a hotel with a pool! And oh yes, Miss Debbie took him to a real live baseball game because her favorite team, the Cardinals was playing.

The Space Center was awesome, with games and rides and tours and movies and a museum. Some of the games utilized little Nerf type balls and they were scattered around outside some of the game areas. Charlie picked one up and carried it around for a while - but I did not realize until we got home that it came home with us.

I was tempted to think "it is just a little ball", but it was not right for him to take it, after all. So we sat down and Charlie wrote a letter apologizing for taking the ball and we mailed it back (oh yes, the postage had to come out of his little cup of change that he earns for doing chores).

A week or so later Charlie got a letter from the Space Center thanking him for returning the ball. It was very nice that they took the time to thank him for doing the right thing. I hoped Charlie got the message.

Today there was a package in the mailbox addressed to "Charles and Family". Inside was a very nice letter and a book. The letter was from a David Cisco and the book he wrote titled "Full Circle". (Click on the book title to visit his website). The letter commended Charlie for his honesty, admonished him to always listen to his mom, and invited him to come visit the Space Center again as his guest!

Randy pointed out that Mr. Cisco's email address was at the bottom of the letter and suggested that Charlie could email him a thank you note. "His phone number is here too - I'm going to call him!" and Charlie was off to find the phone. He left a nice message (he's learning!) and no more than hit the Off button on the phone than it rang. Mr. Cisco had called him back!

We will begin reading the book tonight - - especially the story Mr. Cisco pointed out and highlighted about a similar incident when he was a young boy. From a quick glance through the book, I think it will be a great book to read to Charlie. It seems Mr. Cisco worked very hard to overcome adversities in his life, and maybe it will encourage Charlie to work hard as well.

Charlie will now be proud to tell his friends he has a new friend who is a real live astronaut! Think he will remember this little lesson?

Photo: Some of the planets Charlie and I made for science project - note the shuttle and space module!

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Let Go and Let God . . .

2011-06-20T05:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted. The last year has been difficult and it is hard to write when the mind and heart can't get together. With the help of dear friends and family, we have been able to see more clearly, once again proving that this mission is not ours alone, but takes the love and support of many.

As we look back over the last 5 years it is easier to see in hindsight things that we did not understand at the time. Marquel (now 14) had (and still has) a very strong loyalty to her mom. Although her mom left her in charge of the younger kids often, Marquel wanted a relationship with her mom and vacillated between being disgusted by her mom's behavior and desperately trying to win her love and attention.

This conflict within Marquel caused her to hold me at arm's length and push me away if she felt we were too close, resisting any type of relationship. As she pushed me further away and became more and more insolent, she resorted to accusing me of being mean and nasty to her, giving her an excuse to to make the wall between us thicker and stronger. By the time she turned 13 we had no relationship to hold us together through her turbulent times.

Annie suffers a great deal due to the neglect and abuse from her mom. She looks to Marquel as the mother figure, which makes it difficult for her to have a good relationship with me. Her desire for affection is often expressed in inappropriate ways and her social skills are severely lacking.

When the kids mom took them back to New Orleans and subsequently asked us to come get them, we promised Turk we would help him in any way that we could. Initially their household was in huge turmoil as they struggled to build a family together. We began taking the kids to counseling in the hopes that they could come to terms with their new life and learn to live together as a happy family. The girls seem to have bonded with Turk, and that was our goal. Now we have to find the strength to give them space so that they can build a strong family unit.

We miss the girls a lot, they filled the house with their laughter as they played.

Randy and I have often been asked if the girls resent the fact that we "chose" Charlie to live with us. This is not what transpired. At a time when the girls were pushing us away, we saw Charlie floundering. He was made the scapegoat from all sides. His ADHD made it hard for him to control himself, and he was striking out, which caused more trouble. Marquel, as the "mom" in the home, found herself unable to control him, and often resorted to malicious tactics. We saw a little boy with so much potential, but at a point where he was going down the wrong path that would lead to a miserable future, and a house in chaos. While the girls held us at arms length, Charlie was willing to let us be surrogate parents.

When we approached Turk with the idea of Charlie coming to live with us, he did not resist. He knew that he could not deal with Charlie, and we knew that he had no understanding of the ADHD or the problems resulting from the neglect, abandonment and abuse from his mom.

The first few months with Charlie were extremely difficult, but he did far better in school that we anticipated. Over the past few weeks of summer vacation we have heard him laugh in a genuine way. While he misses his siblings, he does not want to go back there to live. He is figuring out ways to play by himself, which is good for him, and he is smart enough and has the desire to learn to live in a way that won't cause him to be in constant trouble. He is developing a sense of humor and we have lots of laughs together.

The hardest part of letting go of the girls is the realization that we may not be allowed to see Chip as often as we see the girls manipulate this into our rejection of them. The cultural divide has become deeper and more apparent and it breaks our heart that they will not allow us to give them so much of what the world has to offer. We hope that we have been able to give them at least a small foundation to build on, and that as they mature, they will realize we had their best interest at heart.

As we are allowed access to the girls, I will keep you updated as time goes on, but I hope this will help you understand why it may seem a little slanted towards Charlie and his accomplishments. Here is what we know. . .

Marquel has finished 7th grade and was on the A-B Honor Roll, received awards for her involvement in sports, and really enjoys school. We enrolled her in the Big Brother-Big Sister program, and she now has a new friend, someone who will be impartial and hopefully be a good role model for her.

Annie really struggled in school this year, but due to restrictive Texas laws, we probably won't be able to get her any additional help. We are trying to get the school to step up and provide her with the extra help she needs.

Chip is a smart little cookie, and as cute as can be. We see some of the same characteristics that lead up to Charlie's ADHD diagnosis, but we hope that with maturity he will either outgrow or overcome these behavior problems.

We can see the toll that the death of Turk's son, Randy (age 26) has had on him. He seems to have aged a lot over the past month. Please keep him in your prayers that he will be able to stay healthy enough to take care of these kids. Without him, they would be living on the streets of New Orleans with their mom, and then what chance would they have.

As one very wise friend said, "we can only do the best we can and then we have to let God do the rest". Thank you Janet for the wisdom!

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Happy-tude

2011-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had "church" at home with the kids. Since they had been learning about the Beatitudes at Sunday School, we continued on that theme.

As we read and discussed, I realized how timely the subject matter was. We are dealing with kids who have "issues" on top of "issues" on top of trauma after trauma. For Annie and Marquel it is the pre-teen and teen "issues" on top of the already big pile of stuff they have to deal with.

We are taking advantage of spring break to help Annie with her math, but it is a struggle. When she gets tired or frustrated the big old pout comes out and it is hard to refocus on learning. Then it becomes frustrating for us as we try to help. Sometimes we try to tease her out of her "attitude" by calling her Tudy.

Later in the day Chip came to me in the office and said with a twinkle in his eye and a hopeful look on his face, "Can Annie play now - she has a Happy - Tude".

Hope you have a Happy-tude day!

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Give Your Kids Teacher a Hug Today!

2011-02-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

This morning I told Charlie that I would pick him up a little early from school to take him to see his doctor. His response was, "No - don't pick me up early!" I am so thankful that Charlie likes school so much that he doesn't want to miss any time there.

Before school started last fall Randy and I met with Charlie's teacher and principal to explain his background and to solicit their help and understanding in guiding Charlie through this first year at a new school. The first few months were a little rocky, but he is now doing very well and we seldom hear of a problem with his behavior.

While we hoped that Charlie could learn to behave in a manner that was respectful to both teachers and the other kids, we are simply astounded at his progress. At one planning meeting with his teacher and the Behavior Specialist, his teacher got tears in her eyes as she expressed her care and concern for Charlie.

At this school when there is a problem with behavior, the child is sent to the Behavior Specialist's room where she and her aides work with the child to help them understand why their behavior was wrong and how to make better choices in the future. Their love for Charlie and the other kids can be felt the minute you open the door to that room. The first few months of school, Charlie visited this room often and he is very proud of the fact that he hasn't had to go to STARS (as they call it) for quite some time.

Unfortunately, this program will probably be cut with the budget shortfalls. We are SO thankful that Charlie had the benefit of this program. It goes a lot further when other adults are telling him the same things that we are trying to teach him at home.

A couple weeks ago while picking up Chip and Annie at their school on a Friday afternoon, Chip's Kindergarten teacher asked me to please help Chip learn rhyming words. After visiting with her I realized I had no idea how important it was for a child to learn rhyming words. When I tried to explain to Mr. Thornton how to help Chip, it was quite apparent that the concept was way over his head, and the teacher knew that as well.

When Charlie came to live with us a year ago he had gone through so much trauma that I did not think it was wise to put him in a new school at this time of year and add trauma on top of trauma. I hoped I could figure out enough of his school work to help him through the end of the year, hopefully catching him up to where he should be. I quickly learned that it was very hard work to home school. I spent hours searching for appropriate lesson plans, only to discover how little I knew about learning theories, teaching strategies and methodology. I prayed that Charlie would be ready emotionally to go to school in the fall. I knew that I would not be able to give him what trained teachers could.

My day "begins" when Charlie gets home from school. With his ADHD he requires lots of supervision with homework, and I hope that he will get better at it before he gets into grades where it is harder for me to help him.

As in any profession, there are those who are better at what they do. We are so fortunate to have the best teachers for Charlie, a teacher for Chip who cares enough to ask for our help and teachers who volunteer to stay after school to tutor Annie - and even give her a ride home! And all the teachers who took Marquel from failing to receiving the award of "Most Improved Student" in her school (she now stays on the A-B Honor Roll).

Give your kid's teacher a hug today - tell them how much you appreciate what they do for your child.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Time Flies By . . .

2011-01-29T07:15:00.000-08:00

It has been a while - please pardon the long absence. We had a great Christmas with the kids on our annual trip to Nebraska to spend the holidays with Aunt Debbie and Uncle Bryce. We even had a chance to visit friends and relatives. The roads were good, but the absence of snow left the kids a little bewildered. One night we had a little freezing rain, so the next morning the kids had great fun sledding on the slick grass.

Thank you to all who helped provide a very nice Christmas for the kids.

It is already the end of the semester at school.

Chip is doing better in Kindergarten. He has the same teacher that Charlie had, and she loves Chip. He is learning to follow rules and is realizing that being good at school gets him rewards.

Charlie is doing better than we expected this year. His teachers are working really hard for him. The lowest grade on his report card was an 87. He is doing his homework without throwing a temper tantrum. Each Friday in assembly students receive awards for having the best week in their class. This week Charlie got the award!!!

Annie is doing better, and her grades are improving. We think an issue with some bullying in her class was affecting her grades. Now that we have resolved that, she seems much more relaxed. She is on the honor roll for the semester.

Marquel keeps her grades up, and is now on the volleyball team. We don't see much of her now. At 13 she prefers to spend weekends with her friends. We miss her, and we hope she is making wise decisions.

We have to remind ourselves that as the kids get older, they will begin making their own choices. We hope that we have been able to provide them with a good foundation. We try to keep in mind that 5 days a week they live in a very different world than we do, and it is probably difficult for them to switch gears for 2 days a week to live in our world.

The simple fact that these kids have the opportunity to go to school, have a bed to sleep in, and enough food and clothes, is a far cry from where they could be. Mr. Thornton told me again yesterday how he first found these kids, visiting their mom in the projects where she had an apartment with a box spring mattress on the floor, an old coat as a blanket, and the kids running around with little or no clothes. Marquel would have been about 5 years old when he took them in, certainly old enough to remember these conditions.

Because Mr. Thornton loves these kids so much that he is willing to do his best to raise them, and because all of you care enough to help him do that, these kids have a chance "not only to survive, but to thrive" in the words of our very wise Pastor Schulte.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Merry Christmas to all!

2010-12-20T05:14:00.000-08:00

One Christmas night so long ago,

A star shown down so all would know ~
That in a manger on that night,

A Savior was born,

Our guiding light.

Another year has passed, too quickly for us adults, but not fast enough for kids who look forward to the excitement of Christmas.

We want to take this time to thank you for all you do for the Thornton family. You help provide them with a home to live in, clothes to wear, books to read and even a few toys to play with. We think often of where they would be if it wasn’t for all the people who love them and care for them.

Because of your example they are learning to be bright and shining lights to those around them as well.

We send our wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Marquel, Annie, Charlie and Chip

Mr. Thornton

Randy and Stephanie

Books - the Gift We Take for Granted

2010-12-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

For Charlie's 3rd grade class Christmas party, the flier said "bring a wrapped book, new or used, to exchange with your classmates". What an awesome idea, I thought!

Every night I read to Charlie before he goes to sleep. Since February, we have read quite a stack of books that he insists we pile up on the stand beside his bed, alongside the stack of books that he has lined up to read in the future. I explained that he could pick a book that we had already read as a class gift and his response surprised me. "But I LIKE all my books", he said emphatically with a very worried look on his face. He then surprised me further by stating that he wanted to re-read several of the books. This is the boy who doesn't like to watch a movie twice because he has such an amazing memory that seeing it again is too boring.

"Our kids" have been given many boxes of books over the past five years, and those who give them probably want to clean out their bookshelves, not realizing what an awesome gift they are giving. When Charlie objected to giving away a book, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I saw where his mom lived in the Projects of New Orleans, I knew that books were not a part of their chaotic life.

Books - reading to our babies, toddlers and kids, reading magazines, books, newspapers, the list goes on and on - and we take it so for granted. Can you imagine life without them? That is the way people in poverty live.

When writing my own book, I met an "internet friend" who has written a series of books, aimed mostly at youth, and I highly recommend checking them out. Darryl has become one of my biggest fans and supporters - please check out his website "The Faithwalker Series".

I have had the opportunity to read two new books this last week and I would love to share them with you. Both of them were written by people we know, which makes them more special.

At church there is a young lady, Makayla, who is so adorable. She has beautiful dark skin, curly hair that is always arranged so cute, and the most gorgeous smile. She stands tall and self-assured and we would notice Marquel watching her intently. Makayla asked Marquel to help her with the Pre-Kinder kids at Vacation Bible School last summer, and while Marquel decided she definitely was not interested in teaching, she enjoyed getting to know Makayla better.

A few weeks ago Makayla gave Marquel and Annie one of the first copies of a book she had written. In the front she inscribed it "With love to two beautiful girls". Marquel and Annie were so thrilled, they took it home and brought it back the next weekend; both had read it.

When I finally had time to sit down and read it, it was if the book was written for them! Makayla is an awesome young author, and if you have a young person in your life, please consider getting this book for them. You can find it at amazon.com - the title is "Voice of the Unborn" by Makayla Cook. It was inspired by her own life, being adopted by loving and supportive parents.

Last spring Makayla was compelled to do something after the earthquake in Haiti. She and her dad made a trip to volunteer at an orphanage, and they came home with a new little brother, a precocious little guy who is just adorable. They recently made another trip to help rebuild the orphanage, and today they are stranded in Haiti as the airports have been closed due to political unrest and rioting. Keep Makayla and her dad in your prayers for a safe return home.

The 2nd book I had the privilege or reading is quite different. When I was getting ready to publish my own book, a lady at church offered me some very good advice. Her husband was a retired pastor and had published a book, and she was well versed in the process. I thoroughly enjoyed visiting with Mrs. Markwald, she was so friendly and helpful. Last spring her husband passed away, and we became aware of his incredible life, growing up in prewar Germany and his service to his country.

Mrs. Markwald had spent many years accumulating notes as her husband would tell his memories in bits and pieces. She finally convinced him that other people might be interested in his life story, and as she worked on the book, he would be by her side. He did not live to see the book published, but I think he would be proud. It is a very well written book, one that is hard to put down once you get started. It is titled "Victory over Defeat: Memoirs of a German Soldier" by Marilyn Markwald, and I highly recommend it!

This weekend at church I couldn't wait to see Mrs. Markwald and tell her how much I enjoyed her book. As we talked, she asked how "our kids" were doing. I explained that it has been a very hard year. Marquel, now 13, has had a very difficult time coming to terms with losing her mother, but we think we are making progress. "I always keep you in my prayers", she said. "I don't always know what specific things to ask for, but I ask for God to be with you."

I was so choked up, I couldn't respond expect to say "Thank you". God knows the specifics.

When I was writing my book I knew it was not a great work of literature, it was simply a story that I felt needed to be told. A stranger offered to read my book and write a review. Her review wasn't exactly kind, and in the course of talking to her, she made the comment that her aunt was a librarian and that in her opinion, most books should never be written. How sad for her, I thought to myself!

I hope you will consider getting these books as Christmas presents for someone special in your life. If nothing else, do it in honor of 4 little kids who would never have had books to read or the opportunity to receive one inscribed to them personally!

Remind someone you know of the great gift of books that we take so for granted.

Merry Christmas!

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

From my friend, CS - she wrote:

Dear Stephanie-
I always enjoy reading your blogs but this one I especially enjoyed!
I LOVE to read and this blog brought tears to my eyes as I realized it is truly a gift I take for granted
and that there are people in the world that are not blessed with this amazing gift.
How WONDERFUL that Charlie loves his books!
Also, I am going to check out your friend's book "Victory over Defeat".
Thank you so much for sharing your blog with me.
Love,
CS

I had to share this - I love hearing from all of you!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

Randy and I recently met with a reporter from the Hill Country Weekly. Nicole is a very special person and we had a great time visiting with her about our journey with the Thornton family. Her well written article was published on Thanksgiving Day.

Click here to go to the article, then you can click on the picture for a larger view.

Thank you, Nicole for your caring and kindness.

Be sure to check out Nicole's blog "Love You...Up to the Moon" as she chronicles her little niece's fight with cancer.

We want to take this opportunity to once again thank all of you for your support in this mission. While we may wish that our “system” allowed Mr. Thornton to have a job, it doesn’t and we have to live with that reality. Because he loves these kids so much and has a desire to see them break the bonds of poverty and live productive lives, we have the opportunity to help him in this mission. By providing a home for them to live in, you have given them the opportunity to learn and grow and thrive.

If you would like to help the Thornton’s have a Merry Christmas again this year, there are several ways you can help. Tax-deductible monetary donations can be made to St. John - designated to the “Thornton Fund-Christmas.” If you would prefer to do some shopping for Mr. Thornton or one of the kids, you can contact us for suggestions.

Have a great Thanksgiving Weekend!

Until next time...

Stephanie

Kids, Weather Fronts and Sensitive Ears

2010-10-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

A while back when Charlie was out of control one morning, I turned on some classical music to see if it would help calm him down. It didn't, and soon he was complaining "that music hurts my ears".

A few evenings ago we started on a home improvement project and we were using a Dremel saw, which makes a loud, high pitched noise. The longer we had to use it, the louder Charlie got, humming, singing, chanting, louder and louder. I knew it must be hurting his little ears.

While visiting with the Special Ed teacher at Charlie's school, she mentioned her room was always busier if a weather front was coming through.

Yesterday morning Charlie keyed in on the news that there might be storms during the day. I tried head off his apprehension by talking about what to do if he got scared at school. First thing he did upon arriving home from school was pull up WeatherBug on his computer. "Still shows storms," he commented.

As the evening progressed his noise level went up. The constant humming, singing, chanting and noise making began to hurt my ears. As the noise level went up, so did his level of defiance and disrespectful behavior. Even his new pet turtle was hiding under a piece of lettuce floating in his bowl! Thinking he was overly tired, I finally told him it was time to get into bed, but then he complained about the clock ticking too loudly (this is the same clock that has been in their room for 3 years!)

Randy left his council meeting early to come home and help Charlie calm down. As he drove he could see thunderclouds and lightening in the East. It was one of those "Ah-ha!!" moments.

Did the weather front and barometric pressure affect Charlie's ears? Because he seemed more interested in the weather report, did he feel it coming? With the front passing through, he woke up this morning calm and cooperative again.

Always something new to learn - next time we'll pay more attention to the weather forecast!

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

First Week of School

2010-08-28T17:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy week and we are all tired! I feel bad when I have to wake Charlie up at 6:00am in order to take his medicine that takes a while to start working. He has done pretty well in his new school. We hope it continues. He makes friends easily and has an awesome teacher.

His first football game is Saturday morning and he has to be there at 7:00am! He has had 2 scrimmages with other teams this week, and he really got a workout. He is so good and so fast that he is playing Running Back on the offense and Safety on the defense. Last night we noticed a little more team spirit, and found out after the game he had been appointed Team Captain.

When Charlie came to live with us in February he was barely eating. We had a "weigh in" every Monday morning to encourage him to gain. One week he lost 4 ounces and was very upset that he had eaten some of Mr. Randy's "diet" popcorn. He was convinced that it made him loose weight. Over the last month he has gained 3 pounds! Football has given him an appetite.

Saturday update: Introducing the new Quarterback! Randy heard one of the coaches say "We need to get it to the fastest guy as quickly as possible". I guess that is Charlie!

He did extremely well at his first game. They did not win the game, but Charlie made several key plays, both running the ball and chasing the opponent down to tackle him. He played the whole game, offense and defense without a break.

We are getting into a comfortable routine now with Charlie. His brother and sisters are not at our house this weekend (long story), and while he misses seeing them, we had a really nice day with him. When he laughs his hearty, genuine laugh he is the cutest thing. It is beginning to feel like he is truly ours and I can't imagine him not being here.

Marquel joined her 7th grade basketball team at ML King Academy in San Antonio. She is very good. At her first scrimmage with another school she scored 6 of the 18 points for her team. We had to insist that she be allowed to play (practice is until 5:30 every school day). She is good and it is a good thing for her to be involved in for many reasons.

Chip and Annie are doing great as well. Annie gets lots of praise for stepping up to do chores around the house that used to be Marquel's responsibility. She is a master escape artist when it comes to chores! Chip is just cute and happy most of the time.

Thanks to all of you, this is possible for these kids.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Summer Activities

2010-08-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

Randy's sister came to visit in June and Charlie went back to Nebraska with her for about 3 weeks. Charlie was a little confused that there was no snow in Nebraska, where had it all gone since Christmas?! He got to fly on a plane, go to the zoo, go swimming almost every day, and get lots of spoiling.

We met them in Oklahoma City for a cousins reunion and to bring Charlie home. He thoroughly enjoyed an afternoon at the Science Museum. He was a little annoyed that his vacation was over and was probably quite happy to get me on this Bed of Nails!

While we were out of town, Marquel spent a long weekend with friends from church so that she could attend a Volleyball clinic.

Annie and Marquel's summer treat was going to Camp Chrysalis for a week. They really enjoy hiking, swimming, canoeing, fishing and making new friends.

The last weekend of July was another cousins reunion, this time in Nebraska. We took Charlie and Annie. They are seasoned travelers now, and do fine on the long trips if they have enough movies, electronic games and most importantly - snacks.

We left for Nebraska late in the afternoon, when Charlie's medicine is wearing off and his appetite returning. He and Annie ate until all the sandwiches and snacks were gone! At this point Annie always goes into panic mode worrying about what snacks we will have for the ride home. I don't know if she will ever get over the fear that there may not be enough food, and always likes to know there is more waiting when she needs it.

Annie and Charlie made friends with new "cousins" in their new extended family. Randy's great grandfather homesteaded in Nebraska, so we took the kids to theHomestead Museum where they learned about pioneer life and earned their Junior Ranger certificate.

Charlie started football practice. We felt this would be a therapeutic thing for him to learn to be a good teammate, learning respect for coaches and other kids, in addition to good exercise. He seems to be a natural at it, and was assigned the Running Back position since he is so quick and agile.

I can't believe it is already August and time to think about getting ready for school again! Time to try on all the school uniforms from last year to see what still fits and shop for new uniforms and a good pair of school shoes for each. There are organizations that provide free "gently used" uniforms, however the rigmarole required to apply, the hours required and the miles driven did not prove very profitable.

A huge Thank You to Community in Schools for helping out with the school supplies again this year. Please consider donating a few school supplies to this organization! They have been a tremendous help to us and the kids over the last 5 years.

And a big Thank You for cash donations to help pay for the uniforms and shoes- you know who you are!

If you would like to help support this ongoing mission, Click Here. . .

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

5th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina approaching . . .

2010-08-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

When Chip turned 5 years old on July 24th, it reminded us that the 5th anniversary of the storm was approaching. Chip was only 4 weeks old when Katrina turned their world upside down.

It has been great fun to watch him grow. He is always smiling, singing and dancing. I called him "Gumby" one day because he can move his body in any direction ~ but the kids don't know who Gumby is!

I hear some of the news channels advertising specials for the 5th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I am sure they will focus on positive; how New Orleans has rebounded to it's former vibrant life.

Lives have been changed forever, for better or for worse. The experts say that Post Traumatic Stress never goes away, it only lays dormant and resurfaces at unexpected times. For those who have not been able to return to their homes, life has had to start over in every way imaginable.

For Mr. Thornton it meant not only the loss of everything he owned, but also the loss of his income. At the age of now 72, his income is minimal Social Security and SSI (Social Security Disability) due to an injury he sustained several years before Katrina. SSI is a catch 22 for some people. It provides a small amount of cash, but it does qualify him for Medicaid which combined with Medicare means that his medical bills are all paid for the most part. It also pays him a small amount (less then $100 total each month) in benefits for the kids. But, it denies him the right to hold any kind of job, even one that he could do with his disability.

When Mrs. Thornton left and subsequently asked him to take care of her kids, he knew he did not have the income to take care of them. Rent alone would take most of his SS and SSI checks, and he did not qualify for any rental assistance. Then there is food and clothes and necessities for himself and four growing kids.

Because Mr. Thornton was willing to take in his wife's kids and because we knew his financial situation, we told him we would help in any way possible, although we had no idea how we would find a way. We applied to every possible agency, but he did not qualify for one reason or another. The only option he might have would be to give up his SSI and find a job. Putting pen to paper quickly demonstrated how futile that option would be.

If he gave up the SSI, he would lose Medicaid and food stamps for himself and the kids. Medical expenses for 4 kids who have various health and emotional problems is a huge benefit alone. Food stamps certainly help, although it is not really enough to feed four growing kids. Then there would be the cost of day care if he had to work while the kids were not in school. It would take a great paying job with good health insurance benefits to offset what he would lose.

Considering for a moment that he could find such a job, who would be willing to watch these four kids with emotional and developmental problems. Having worked around day care providers, I knew that they would not do well in that situation and it would be an on-going problem to find someone to watch them. He and the kids would be much better off with him at home to help them overcome these problems.

When we agreed to help him in any way that we could, we knew this would be a long term project. Mr. Thornton will be 85 years old when Chip graduates from high school. We have seen the toll that the stress has taken on him over the last 5 years. We hope and pray that he will be around to see these kids grow up.

We would hate to see Marquel forced into a position of supporting or even supplementing the household income as she gets into high school. We realize that worse things have happened to kids, but don't we really want her to be able to go to college and have a career that will give her the prospect of a bright future without the burden of being mother and income earner for the family?

As this anniversary of Katrina comes and goes, my fear is that those who still struggle will be forgotten. Mr. Thornton has been able to care for these kids and give them a good home due to the generosity of so many of you. If it were not for all of you, where would he go? He could probably fend for himself, but what about the kids, where would they be?

I wish I could remember who it was, someone who had come from a very poor background and made a good life for himself, said "it is great to tell people they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps - but first they must have a pair of boots".

You are providing the boots.

Thank you to each and every one for all you do!

Until next time. . .

Stephanie

A New Do. . .

2010-07-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Randy's sister, "Miss Debbie" came to visit for about 10 days. The kids love Miss Debbie and she is fun to have around. We are looking forward to the day when she and her husband bring their RV down for the winter.

While Deb was here she took Marquel to get a new hairdo at a real salon. We happened to find the perfect place and she was pleased with the results. Every woman feels better when they feel like their hair looks good, and it is time for Marquel to start learning how to do her own styling.

Annie and Marquel went to Camp Chrysalis on Sunday. In the car the girls were talking about swimming at camp and that they would have to take a swim test if they wanted to go in the deep water.

When the kids talk among themselves and get excited the New Orleans accent takes over. We have to laugh to ourselves as we listen to them. As the girls talked about swimming at camp, Marquel said, "I told that lifeguard guy my mom told me not to be going in the deep water." She was giggling as she continued, "That night I payed 'Dear Lord, I'm sorry, I had to do it'."

I had to turn my head so she wouldn't see me laughing. We love to hear Marquel giggle and the little insight into her thoughts was enlightening.

A few months ago we were forced to find a new counselor for Marquel. As she becomes a teenager, we feel we are in a race against time to help her work through the multitude of issues she faces. Her new counselor suggested that because Marquel doesn't like long conversations, we use "bullet points" to get ideas across and to listen closely for little tidbits of information that will tell us how she is feeling or what she is thinking. This was a "tidbit".

Marquel's new counselor has been awesome and since she does not take Medicaid, we appreciate the continued financial support we receive from so many of you. We feel this precious girl needs every opportunity she can get to have a happy and productive life.

We continue to learn and realize how much we have yet to learn about how to help these kids through their layers of abuse, neglect and trauma. At times it is very frustrating and we wonder if we are doing the right things. Then we are rewarded with a hug from Annie or a genuine giggle from Marquel. We sometimes wonder "why us" and then we say "thank you for these precious kids".

Thank you to all for your continued support.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

May Birthdays and School Awards

2010-05-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

May has been a very busy month. Annie turned 11 on May 4th

and Marquel turned 13 on May 19th.

There are only two weeks of school left and the girls are ready for summer vacation.

Last night the school had an award ceremony and they were insistent that Marquel should be there. The awards were sponsored by the San Antonio Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. They gave 5 awards for Most Improved Academic Skills, Most Improved Attendance, Best Citizenship, Perfect Attendance and Most Outstanding Student.

Marquel received the award for Most Improved Academic Skills!

What a remarkable achievement for a little girl who did not attend school before she came to San Antonio courtesy of Hurricane Katrina. Her first school year in San Antonio was hit and miss as her mother did not appreciate education. Repeating 3rd grade was a struggle. In order to do a math problem we had to go back to 1st grade math and work up so that she could do each problem. Weekends were spent doing Math and Math and more Math.

(Randy apologizes for the poor quality picture.

We did not know about this until 3pm on Friday

so he took the picture with his phone.)

Thanks to great teachers, wonderful friends and her own desire to learn, she made it through. I'll never forget walking into her school when the results were in for her 5th grade Math test. Her teacher was beaming as she told me that Marquel had some good news for me.

I don't know that Marquel really understands what you all have done for her, but I want you all to know that your love and support have helped bring her from failing 3rd grade to the AB Honor Roll and awards such as Most Improved (we think she probably qualified for Perfect Attendance as well!).

People tell us what a wonderful thing we are doing, but we want you all to know that we could not do this without each and every one of you. Everyone has their own talents to give; time, money, or love and support, each of which helps us help them.

Until next time . . .

Stephanie & Randy & kids

Summer Planning

2010-04-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

Only two months of school left! This year Annie has struggled with Math. We have worked on math every weekend and her teacher has given her extra tutoring after school, even driving her home! Now that is really going the extra mile.

Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that Annie will pass her Math TAKS test the last week of April. She needs to pass this test in order to go to 5th grade next fall.

With summer approaching we are making plans already. Annie and Marquel will go to Camp Chrysalis again. They will be going on scholarship, for which we are really grateful. It is the highlight of their summer and they sing the songs and tell the stories they heard all year long. This experience with other Christian kids and counselors is invaluable to them.

Charlie will be spending a week or two with Randy’s sister, Miss Debbie. He is not yet mature enough to go to Camp Chrysalis.

Last summer we signed all four of the kids up for swimming lessons. They love to be in the water, and we felt they should at least know the basics of swimming. It was a huge hit. Annie has decided she wants to be on the Olympic team some day. They would all like to learn more about swimming this summer.

Charlie would like to be on a sport team. The next registration will be for football. It would be an excellent experience for him to learn a sport along with good sportsmanship and social skills.

The cost of swimming lessons is $50 per child. Football registration costs $170 for regular or $100 for flag, plus the cost of shoes and the transportation to games.

If you would like to sponsor or help sponsor one of the kids sports, please let me know. You may make a tax deductible donation to the Thornton Family Fund (click on the link and scroll down to Cash Donations to St. John Lutheran Church).

As always, your continued support is so very much appreciated!

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

A Boy and his Balloons

2010-04-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

Charlie has been with us 6 weeks now. He seems to be settling into his new routine.

With fewer pouting episodes we are getting more school work done. We spend a lot of time on reading, reading comprehension and spelling, things he had fallen behind on.

I picture a little boy holding on tightly to a big bunch of helium filled balloons. He is desperately trying to keep control of these balloons, as they represent all the different aspects of his life.

He has given in to the constant struggle over eating. He now eats three meals a day with no fuss – he even offered to eat green beans today! We have started a chart to keep track of his weight, he gained 2 pounds last week. He is drinking more water and we can tell he feels much better. A balloon is let go.

He doesn’t make a fuss over bedtime. Now he wants to get his shower done so he can get to bed and listen to a chapter of “Pinocchio’s Quest”. Another battle we don’t have to fight and another balloon released.

We play a little game to go to sleep. He has to close his eyes (and his mouth!) and pretend that he is on a cloud. The cloud is soft and warm and helps him feel safe so he can go to sleep. Now he is asleep in minutes, he doesn’t get up numerous times to make sure we haven’t gone off and left him alone. Another balloon released.

The first few weeks he was easily bored and didn’t know what to do without his brother and sister to play with. Now we enjoy watching him play and entertain himself which is good for his imagination and his self confidence. He can easily spend an hour or even two outside playing without coming to check on us every few minutes. Two balloons released.

Letting me be in control of school time has been a big challenge. When he can’t do it his way in his time, he gets very upset. Slowly he has let go of more balloons and school time goes much easier for both of us.

When he feels like he is losing control he fights hard to keep it. During these times his “punishment” is to sit on my lap. While he kicks and struggles, he never struggles to get away. When he gives in, the “good attitude spider” tickles him until he can’t help but get the good attitude back. Then we often sit and talk. He is learning to verbalize about his thoughts and feelings, each time releasing more balloons as he unburdens himself of bad memories or worries. These can be very enlightening moments. More balloons released.

The balloons have to be released when he is ready and willing. Only then can he really let go of the burden he is carrying.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and encouraging emails. We appreciate it more than you know and we love to hear from you.

Until next time . . .

Stephanie

Week #2 & 3 with Charlie

2010-04-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

Week #2 of Charlie living with us was also Spring Break for the other kids. Since Randy had to be out of town a couple of days and I had to work, we decided to let Charlie spend some time at his father's house so he could play with his sisters and brother. We wondered if this would be beneficial to him, or a setback in his behavior.

Thursday morning I had to go take Chip and Charlie to their dentist appointment. Mr. Thornton was anxious to go do something with his friends and when I offered to take all the kids home with me, he jumped at the chance.

When we made this decision we knew that there were the other kids to think about. How would they feel about Charlie living with us and how would they react. Marquel seemed quite happy to have this burden off her shoulders. She had been held responsible for keeping Charlie under control, which of course she could not do. Annie was quite jealous and said she was bored at home. This did not surprise me, but I hoped that it would give Annie a chance to mature also. Annie is very dependent on Marquel as a mom and Charlie as a “partner in crime” when the hyperactivity takes over.

Thursday on the way home we stopped at our school in Bulverde to register Charlie for the fall, as it was the last day for registration. All the kids sat quietly in the office as we completed the paper work. A lady breezed into the office and on her way out she said, “I guess these are new students”. Her tone was not particularly friendly or welcoming, and she did not wait for a response as she exited the office.

Charlie enjoyed the weekend playing with his sisters and brother. There was no fussing when we took the others home on Sunday night. We wondered what the next week would bring.

Week #3
Monday Charlie cheerfully ate his breakfast and got busy with his school work. He was happy and cooperative. I had this week off from work, so it was nice to be able to spend the whole day with him. In the afternoon he helped Randy fix the tail light on the jeep and he was thrilled. It was a good day and I dared to think that this could continue.

The rest of the week did not go as well. When Charlie got frustrated because he had to do his school work my way and not his, he would throw his pencil and pout. I moved anything in his reach out of the way and let him sit and “think” until he got his good attitude back. It was an opportunity for me to get some house cleaning done!

At times he needed to curl up on my lap for a while. Then the “good attitude spider” comes out to tickle him until he gets his smile back. At one point he made plans on what he wanted to play with Annie the coming weekend, “If I don’t have to spend time sitting at the table.” I reminded him that he was the one in charge of acting right so he didn’t have to spend time “thinking”.

Bedtime is hard. His medication has worn off and hyperactivity has returned. He doesn’t want to go to sleep. He is convinced he doesn’t sleep at all most nights, and he doesn’t want to be alone. We have set up a very strict routine for bath time and bed time. He tries lots of different delay tactics, but he really doesn’t fuss too much about going to bed. We have a special Biblically based edition of Pinocchio, and we can read a chapter each night if he gets into bed on time. He really enjoys this time. Then we play a little game where he closes his eyes and imagines himself floating on a cloud and falling asleep. Within minutes he is sleeping.

Sunday night when we took the other kids home, Charlie wanted to stay and play. For the first time there were a few tears as we got into the car to leave their house. I got into the back seat and held him as we talked about why he was living with us. We don’t have to say a lot, he is smart enough to read between the lines and figure it out. In a few minutes he was fine and called his Father to tell him he wasn’t crying any more.

In some ways this was much harder than I expected, and yet in many ways he was doing better than I anticipated he would. We wondered how long it would take for him to settle into this new routine.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Link to "Pinocchio's Quest" book on amazon.com