Anji's Blog

Past week in review 07/11 - 07/17

2011-07-18T22:12:00.000-04:00

Wow, what a week. There was no set schedule on lot of things that happened during the week. It was a little frustrating, not being able to predict on anything. Three times in a week, I was not able to pick up my baby and had to rely upon my hubby to do both drop off and pick up. And it was all last minute changes because someone new came to work and was not willing to settle into the schedule. I did accommodate their schedule and now here I am letting it all out :)

After the crazy unsettling week, I was looking forward to taking my baby to the Zoo. And then ended up having a very crapy weekend too. A comment from my hubby on Saturday, turned into an argument and disagreement. Ended up staying in, and decided not to go to the Zoo in such a distasteful mood. Patched things up by the late afternoon, but was still feeling down. Some days you just cant get yourself up. Sunday was much better. I am proud that I mowed the half acre back yard :) All those riding mower marks ended up in a beautiful circular design. I also cooked a little and got to sleep in for an hour or so during the afternoon. Ended the week by eating home made dinner and watching 'Lie to Me'.

So how was your week? Anything fun, exciting, or not so exciting to report on?

Tattoo! A beautiful body art or a drunken decision?

2011-07-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

Tattoos are a beautiful body art that you live with the rest of your life. Yes, there are laser treatments available to remove the tattoo, but it still leaves the scar as a reminder for the tattoo. So unless you are absolutely sure, I would suggest not to get inked.

I got a tattoo almost three years ago just before we went to visit our families back home in India. It was my way of declaring my freedom of choice. But, it was not an impromptu decision. It was well thought through.

In one of the office Christmas party couple years back, I wore a dress which revealed my tattoo. Most of the responses from my superiors and colleagues included: lit up eyes, raised eyebrows, even got some questions such as– Do you have a tattoo? Do you have any more tattoos? Why did you get a tattoo? How drunk were you? And some statements such as – I never thought of you to be wild kind. I thought you were a good girl.

It was hard tackling those questions and perceptions. How many times can I respond by saying ‘No, I was not drunk’ or anything else to justify my decision? My favorite response was a big smileJ, and continuous discussion on tattoos. I even got to know some other people who had tattoos but never shared it with others.

I mostly keep my tattoo hidden, but based on the shirt I wear, it sometimes can be seen around my neck. I recently got a similar response from one of my colleagues when they saw my tattoo for the first time as a group of people headed out for lunch.

Colleague: Anjita, is that a tattoo?

Me: Yes

Colleague: Wow, I never thought of you to be wild.

Me: A big smile in response to the question ;) and then moving on to a group discussion on tattoos

A couple weeks later, went out for lunch with same colleague and some new ones, and the colleague asked about my tattoo again to let others know that I have one ;).

I have a tattoo. It is a cute little rose. I did scream the entire time needles were poked at me. Initially the needles were hurting a little bit but then, in about 5 – 10 minutes I got used to it and it did not hurt as much. However, I just kept screaming because I am a screamer

Do you have a tattoo? What is it? What are the reactions you received?

Rhymes …... I think my 7 month old knows them all!!!!!

2011-07-13T09:54:00.000-04:00

My cutesy boy loves to hear the rhymes, poems, and songs. All I have to do is add various pitches high and low, some hand gestures, and some emotions such as laughing, smiling, sad, crying, or weird faces J

He now knows exactly when he should smile in a song or a rhyme. He can read my face, knows my gestures, and notices the emotions I display. I love it that he is being interactive J

So here are the rhymes that I have been singing to him… watch the ABCD song video, it feels like he is trying to sing with me ;)

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are.

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are.

This one has helped Aadi sleep many many times….. It is a life saver.

Clap your hands

Clap your hands, clap your hands,

Listen to the music and clap your hands

Stamp your feet, stamp your feet,

Listen to the music and stamp your feet

Turn around, turn around,

Listen to the music and turn around.

Jump up high, jump up high,

Listen to the music and jump up high.

Sing along, sing along,

Listen to the music and sing along.

Dance with me, dance with me,

Listen to the music and dance with me.

This is the best song to get him engaged as he watches me do different things. He will let me clap on his hand for a while but he folds his hand in a fist if I try to clap his hands together….. I tap his feet on ‘Stamp your feet’ and he loves it. That gets him very excited.

ABCD Song (Different versions)

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I

J, K, L, M

N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V

W, X

Y, Z

I LOVE YOU……… AADI I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Aadi loves the above version. As soon as I start singing the above version his focus will turn to me with his eyes lit up and a sweet smile on his face. He will keep watching me sing till the end and then blushes as soon as I say ‘I Love you’….. J

A, B, C, D, E, F, G

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P

Q, R, S

T, U, V

W, X

Y, and Z

Now I know my ABC, next time won’t you sing with me!

If you are happy and you know it

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

If you're happy and you know it,

Then your face will surely show it.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

If you're happy and you know it, stamp your feet!

If you're happy and you know it,

Then your face will surely show it.

If you're happy and you know it, stamp your feet!

If you're happy and you know it, jump up high!

If you're happy and you know it,

Then your face will surely show it.

If you're happy and you know it, jump up high!

If you're happy and you know it, do all three!

If you're happy and you know it,

Then your face will surely show it.

If you're happy and you know it, do all three!

His reaction to this rhyme is little different than for ‘Clap your hands’ rhyme. He enjoys all the emotions, gestures, tone, plus he loves the gentle pat on his face on the line ‘then your face will surely show it’. I think he knows all the rhymes and has memorized them. He can so easily give me the same facial expressions sometimes that it feels as if he is singling along with me for real J

Baa, Baa, Black sheep

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep,

Have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.

One for my master,

One for madam,

One for the little boy who lives down the lane

Aadi knows to smile on the last line and look at me. Sometimes I forget to stress on the last line, but he never does. He will always look at me with a big smile as if he knows that he is the little boyJ

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock,

Mouse ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

Mouse ran down the clock.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Hickory Dickory Dock

This is a lovely rhyme to get him engaged with his hands. I take my fingers and climb up his face as the mouse runs up and climb down his face as the mouse runs down. I also tickle him on the last line ‘Hickory dickory dock’. This is not his favorite rhyme as he does not want me to go up and down his face with my fingers too often…. So sometimes it is a fav and other times not so much.

And the next three rhymes are from one of his toy. I always sing them together in sequence.

One, Two, Three,

Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight,

Then there is Nine, counting really great,

With numbers, when you learn numbers then you can count….(drum roll)…. And count again!

Ezy Bzy, Ezy Bzy, there’s so much to do,

You can learn while you are at play, there’s so much to do today!

Play on a computer, learn some music too,

Read a book, or talk to friend, pick the phone up say HELLO!

Helloooooooooo, the phone is ringing shall I say hello?

HELLO! HELLO!

Good Bye, when I am done talking can I say Bye Bye?

What do we say again? Say Bye Bye!

I love the above sequence, as for him - i think you should watch the vide J

Rain, rain, go away

Rain, rain, go away,

Let the sun come our way,

Little Aadi wants to play.

Rain, rain, go away.

This one he doesn’t care too much about, but I do J

Johny Johny Yes Papa (Customized for Aadi)

Aadi, Aadi. Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar? No Papa.

Telling lies? No Papa.

Open your mouth.

Ha ha ha

This one is loved by my hubby more than Aadi J

So other than the ones listed above I have a list of Hindi rhymes and songs that I sing to him. Any Indian folks out there will be able to relate to them.

Aaj mangalvar hai, chuhe ko bukhar hai
Aloo kachaloo beta kahan gaye tthey? Bandar ki jhonpdi mein so gaye tthey.
Chuk chuk gaadi badi sayani
Rote rote hansna sikho
Lakdi ki katthi
Bum chiki chiki bum
So gaya ye jahan, so gaya aasman (Even though not a baby song, he loves this one. Especially when his dad sings it for him.)

I feel that I need more Rhymes in the stock for days when he feels bored with all the above. Any help?

What are your childhood rhymes that you still remember?

Past week in review 07/02 - 07/10

2011-07-11T09:11:00.000-04:00

I just went through a very busy week and although there are always excuses, I should have found the time to blog. Nevertheless, a big slap on my hands…. And here I am back to writing again. Hopefully it won’t happen again.

I had a very busy July 4^th weekend. Although it seems like a memory of past, I just wanted to bring it up. We got our ducts clean in our home, went to a 1 year olds birthday party, and cooked as my cousin sis was coming to visit us. Chatted with my cousin on Sunday, cooked breakfast, played with 2 year old, my hubby did some photo shoot, and they all left at around 3 pm. We had to go to another birthday party that day, but just couldn’t push ourselves. So we decided to chill at home, which was very relaxing.

Monday, July 4^th was the cookout at our place. It was also my son’s first I-Day. I only baked one appetizer (Potato Puffs) and a side dish (Corn & Bean salad) as my hubby took on the heavy load of grilling for everyoneJ. It was nice and relaxing after all the cooking was done. I really had fun hanging out with his office folks who I don’t get to meet as often. Some of our friends stayed over a little longer and I remember it was almost midnight by the time everyone left and we went to sleep.

Poof and the long weekend was gone and back to busy work week. Being very tired with the weekend activities, almost no sleep because of the teething baby and very busy work week made it very difficult to find the time and brain power to blog.

After the long work week (I don’t think it was short), we went for an Indians game this past Saturday. It was amazing to watch the game from terrace club suite. There was all you can eat food, drinks, dessert and coffeeJ. We decided to leave the game mid way and went to friend’s place. It was past 11 by the time we reached home. My baby had already slept in his car seat. After putting him in his crib, we called it a night. Sunday was busy too. I decided to cook a few dishes for the week. Some vegetables, lentil soup and my favorite – watermelon style ice creamJ

I think watermelon style ice cream took the longest waiting time and we just were not patient enough. We jumped in before it was completely frozen, but it was still yummy as it can be J

Back to work…. Feeling rested and recharged!

So how was your past week? Anything fun, exciting, or not so exciting to report on?

Monstrous Anger

2011-06-30T22:05:00.000-04:00

We have all fallen victim to Monstrous Anger, and I am no exception to the reality.

My husband and I used to argue a lot and get mad at each other because we were interpreting each other’s words and actions differently. We both used to get hurt all the time. During our anger triggered fights one of us would ask, ‘Why would I hurt you Love?’ and other would respond ‘I don’t know, but you just did’.

Anger is an emotional reaction when you feel hurt, insulted, threatened or upset. The reaction comes out in a split second and overpowers your mind and body. Anger gives little time to its victim ‘You’ to control it.

However, I have never let my emotions go to the extreme at work. When I do get upset or angry at work, my best approach would be to step away from the situation and think it through before reacting. I think it is easier to control anger when I am not emotionally connected to everyone I work with, right? If so, then why do I get angry at those drivers on the road? I don’t know them and don’t have any emotional connection with them. I am confused L

Monstrous Anger spikes ego, and boosts confidence for a short period of time forcing us to take action which we usually would never take in our sane mind. Anger forces us to react and defend ourselves by using worst means available, such as yelling, screaming, cursing, sidelining, and sometimes violence.

Wow such a strong emotion but has negativity wrapped all around it. You know the saying ‘Love is Blind’, well I think ‘Anger is Blind’ too. Take a breath and think about it.

I think it is very important to take control of anger. How?

Idea!

Are you a parent? Have you seen a kid throwing tantrums in the middle of store and laying on the ground kicking and screaming? What should parents do in this situation?

All advices that I have heard so far gives the same message – Don’t give in to your child’s tantrums. If you give in once, tantrums are going to be more frequent and stronger next time. The situation that embarrassed you today and made you get out of that store or restaurant without shopping or eating will happen again and again.

What happens when you don’t give in to the tantrum, but try to control the situation? You will be working with your child diligently to calm them down. Yes, you may still get out of the store or restaurant today but future tantrums will be less frequent and milder, which makes them easier and easier to control and calm your child down.

So do you think may be the above situation is relatable to anger? I started calming my anger down last year after I got pregnant with my first child. I thank my hormones and motherly instinct for such a wonderful change in meJ. I started letting go and stopped reacting to every little comment or joke that my hubby made. He saw the difference as well when we stopped arguing and getting upset. One day he told me that we don’t argue as much now days and get mad at each other on silly things. My reply to him with a big smile on my face ‘I Love you Sweetheart, and I am glad we are not arguing any more’

We still argue on silly things, and fight sometimes but not as often. We have found a new level of understanding between us. He still tries to amuse me with his dry sense of humor, but most of the time he is literally just kidding around. (Hmmmm… I thinkJ)

So what do you think? Is it possible to treat anger like our child who is throwing a tantrum at us and forcing us to react in its favor? Can we take control knowing that it will be harder in the beginning but eventually we will be able to express our emotions in a better way?

You know it better than I do on how many times anger got you into trouble. Don’t you?

It is easier said than done to be calm when you are hurt, insulted or threatened. But try to just hold back anything you are about to say or do. Every time anger tries to take control, fight back minute or even a second at a time by not giving in, and eventually you will be a Pro in taming Anger down.

I know it is a tough road and I am in there as well…. Did I say road? Don’t forget to keep your calm when that crazy driver cuts you off, or honks at you for no reason. It sure is a tough road.

Yesterday evening I got really angry when I was driving back home and whoever it was in that car in front of me, kept talking on the cell phone and won’t let me pass………. Ughhhhhh… (I want to honk so badly) why does that person not know that I want to get home to my hubby and my baby.

Hahahahaha…. I guess I need to calm down ;)

Share your ideas on how you calm down your anger?

P.S. My hubby took about 15 shots of me smiling while posing to be angry before we were able to get the above shot. It is hard to be angry in front of camera J

Cell Phone Paralysis

2011-06-28T12:10:00.008-04:00

I Lost my beloved iPhone 3GS in October 2008, approximately 2 months after I got it. Oh, I was crushed. I was devastated. I scrambled to find my phone everywhere at the Starbucks where I left it on the counter just few minutes ago, but there was no hope. Then I doubted myself and sorted my entire car to see if I luckily left my phone in my car, but there was nothing to be found.

I was in tears and mourning the loss of my phone. It was not just a phone; it was my lifeline with numbers of everyone I ever knew. All my favorite apps and emails were in one place and were one click away. All my financial apps, that allowed me to monitor my bank accounts and transactions, all the games that I loved playing, internet accessibility anywhere I went, and so much more that was accessible to me on my iPhone.

How could someone steal my phone? How can they take something so precious to me away from me? I was mourning the loss of my cell phone to the extreme. Sure, it was just a phone to you, but it was everything to me.

If I wanted another iPhone I would either have to pay $499 or wait 2 years for my plan to allow me to buy a new iPhone at a discounted rate. I could buy any other smart phone for lot less. But having used an iPhone, I did not want to buy any other smart phone.

I had been with a smart phone for more than 2 years at the time, my first was original iPhone and than the 3GS which I had lost (still weeping). As my grieving continued, I made a very dreaded decision to not get a new smart phone.

What happened next? I switched to a regular Nokia phone, but stopped using it as much. It would just sit there in my purse in a silent mode. I preferred not to answer any calls on that phone. There were times that I had several voice messages piled up, and I did not want to hear them. I also stopped checking my emails on day to day basis. There were no more social apps, or games at the tip of my finger. I was experiencing cell phone paralysis.

Wow, what a change from totally connected to totally disconnected. I felt helpless at times, when I wanted to find something nearby and did not have a smart phone to help me.

Last 2 years were different, and I learned a lot about socializing and connecting with people without using my phone. There were times that I was so glad that there was no smart phone beeping at me while I was socializing with my friends. I always emailed and found other ways to keep in contact with distant friends. It wasn’t that I did not want to talk to anyone who called me, but I just hated my phone and did not want to use it.

After more than 2 years, I got iPhone 4 white in May 2011. I am so happy to be back in the loopJ. And now I know when I need to tuck my smart friend in the purse.

Have you ever been in a cell phone paralysis? What was your experience?

Simplicity – Life used to be so simple

2011-06-23T21:53:00.000-04:00

We say it every day ‘Life used to be so simple’. I look back not too long ago (2-3 years) and I think to myself - ‘Life was so simple back then’. As every day becomes past and future becomes present, I seek new challenges and gain new experiences. It seems like life is getting busier. Every day seems smaller and I never find time to do everything I want to do and yet I find the time to do everything I need to do. Is my life simple?

It is so hard to define simplicity. I think all it means is to embrace today. Embrace the life you are living right now and never have to look back to wish ‘I could have been happier those days’.

There is no wrong in a desire to achieve more, and set higher goals. I do that every day. But simplicity to me means being content, and knowing and believing in myself.

I have been through rollercoaster of personal, family, love, and professional life drama. There were times when everything was set at extremes, and there were times when I felt boxed in. I was recently in a situation where my personal life felt like a burden on my professional life. How could life be so complex? I asked myself.

I know sacrifices, I have done sacrifices. I know patience; I have lived through patience my whole life where I am anxiously but patiently waiting for things to happen. How did I miss those simple times between the sacrifices and patience? How come in a blink of an eye that simple life seems like a memory of past?

Now, I sit here to accept today as ‘Simple’. No matter what comes and how busy or crazy life gets. I have to believe that my Life will always change for the better. I have a wonderful hubby, two cute pets (a Yellow lab and a Siamese cat), one sweet baby boy, a nice house, and an awesome job. I thank GOD for the beautiful and loving family, and a desired career.

Today I wish to never have to remorse for not enjoying the simple times that passed by in Yesterday.

How can you make your life simple today?

Seven Year Wedding Anniversary!!!

2011-06-22T21:49:00.002-04:00

I have now known my hubby for 9 and half years. I have shared the most amazing moments of my life with him. When we met I was 22 yrs old. We were so young and so naïve, but our love was strong for sure.

Wow, I cannot believe it has been seven years of being married to my handsome husband. It still seems like we just met yesterday and time flew by.

The days when all we used think about were romance and feelings, to LOVE, to today’s strong relationship. I remember days when we used to call each other million times a day, to not calling each other at all. In past seven years we have been through a lot - breakups, arguments, agreements, decisions, disagreements, fights, trust, mistrust, hurt, apathy, tolerance, tenacity, empathy, passion, understanding, bonding, closeness, intimacy, and LOVE.

I Love you Piyush with all my heart forever and ever!!!! You are the most amazing and committed man I have ever known. I am so in love with you and will always be.

Here is to us, and our long lasted relationship!!! Here is to the past seven years of marriage and next seventy to come!!! Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!!!

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Baby Milestones and finally a sweet surprise today morning….

2011-06-20T21:03:00.000-04:00

Wow, feels like my baby has grown big. I can’t help telling him sometimes that you are a big boy now; you are not supposed to grab and throw things …. Lol. He is 7 months old and seems like he has been part of our life forever.

First Milestone

My cute little bugz bunny Aadi has been teething very badly for more than a week and during last week, his first teeth made appearance. Oh…. Such a cute little, sharp little teeth. I was up all night yesterday as he is still teething and the second teeth might be ready for the red carpet.

Second Milestone

My darling hubby (Piyush) has been very concerned about the fact that our baby boy did not roll over, and he may never learn to roll over. Laughing and giggling, I tell him every time this topic comes up that ‘Our boy will learn this trick. He is not a dog, that if you don’t teach him than he won’t learn… ’. So finally last week on Thursday evening at 8:30 PM after I put my little peanut to bed, he rolled over all on his own. I was standing right there behind his crib in hiding, waiting for him to sleep and … surprise. Piyush was not home at the time to see such a huge milestone that he had been waiting for. But next day morning as he was getting ready for work, our boy did his trick again and rolled over. Piyush was so proud to let me know that ‘Oh yeah he did it again’

Sweet little surprise

So after a week full of milestones, my baby boy had his six months shots on Saturday, and had been feverish and fussy over the weekend. I had been giving him extra cuddly and snuggly time, and he wanted to be glued to me the entire weekend. After almost no sleep last night between teething, crying, and feeding, I woke up at 5 AM today to start the daily routine. Hubby woke up to change baby’s diaper. On my way to the bathroom, I took out Aadi’s hand from his mouth and kept on walking…. Wait, did I hear … oh yes… My baby boy said ‘Ma’… My hubby was surprised…. I back traced my steps and was overjoyed knowing that my baby spoke his first word ‘Ma’…. Such a sweet little surprise after long sleepless night

I don’t feel sleepy or tired today even after not sleeping the entire night. The cute little word ‘Ma’ from my son’s mouth to my ears felt like honey… and I am still listening to the same melody ‘Ma’

Is Social Media Networking Creating Loners?

2011-06-19T22:00:00.001-04:00

What would happen if no one responds to our Facebook or Twitter updates for a month, if no one texts us back, if we don't receive any personal email for a week? Do you think we would survive the loneliness? Would we think about dropping by some of our friends or relatives place to check up on them? What would it take to push us over the edge?

This new era of social media networking is cool. One click of a button and woala, I am on Facebook. I am updated on everything that is going on in my friends or relatives lives. What did they do yesterday, who is going on vacation, what did they ate last night, who is visiting, and any new endeavor they are planning to undertake. I receive text messages on funny jokes, status updates, and phone number changes

I reply, like and post comments back, and even wish them Happy Birthday through Facebook or text message.

What happened to those days when we used to pick up the phone and talk for hours with our close friends and families, or call up relatives occasionally to see how they are doing? Growing up in India, I did not have any phone in my house until I was in 10th grade. The only way to keep in touch was to write letters, and meet with friends/relatives often.

In India, we used to give surprise visits and show up to our friends or relatives place on a week day evenings or on weekends without prior notification. Most of the time, we used to find someone at home, and they would be very welcoming. We will spend few hours socializing and our very pleasant host would be preparing impromptu snacks for the unexpected guests. In India we consider guests as God and welcome any opportunity to serve our guests. Obviously this sometimes means inconvenience. We have had occasions where we showed up at our friends/relatives door and no one is at home or they are about to leave for other commitments. We will leave a hand written note to let them know we came to visit, and we even used to chat with their neighbors who will tell us about what is going on in the neighborhood, and where our relatives are :) How fun.

What happened to those face to face visits over the weekend or during evenings? Does it feel like a drag when you have to go and visit your friends and relatives? How often do you do it?

Have you participated in group sports recently where you have socialized and participated outdoors in a game with friends or even strangers? How often do you do it? Is it every day? once a week? once a month? or once every few months? What did you play?

Today most of our sporting activity is on Wii, or Xbox, or PlayStation, or any video gaming device. We play for fun, for competition, or for exercise, and proudly post our scores online and share with our web friends.

The socialization that once used to be through face to face visits, paper greeting cards, phone calls, and regular mail, is now taken over by text messages, Facebook and Twitter updates, online greeting cards and emails.

I wonder if we have fallen victim to the social media networking and become loners who gaze at the shiny laptop screen or our smartest friend 'The Smart Phone' all day long.

Sleepless nights

2011-06-17T12:10:00.007-04:00

My cute little baby boy has been teething for over a week now. I did not sleep for two straight nights, the last weekend. But when I see him in discomfort and pain, I want to cuddle and comfort him. Being a working mom, I don’t get to be with him during the day, so when he wants to come to bed with me, I cave in and let him join me

He has been religiously waking up every day for a week now at 12:30 AM to come to bed with me. And then last couple nights he woke up at 10:30 PM and came to bed with me. I think he is getting a little spoiled and forming a habit now to come to bed with meJ. I am letting him join me because this is a difficult time for him and he should know that I am there to take care of him. Also, I would like to get those little naps in between him crying and feeding throughout the night, so that I am charged to go back to work in the morning. But today is Friday night, I am going to try and send him back to his crib throughout the weekend and see if I can break the habit. Keeping my fingers crossed J

What are your reasons for sleepless nights?

Working from Home – Pros and Cons

2011-06-16T20:25:00.001-04:00

Would you consider working from home every day in your current role if your employer signs off on it?

One of my dear friends is currently working from home as a full time IT Professional. She is working at one of the companies in Cleveland suburbs. It was not a work from home job when she started the job. She is very social and cheers up everyone around her with a pleasant smile. She always takes the time to know the people she is working with and is a very good team player.

Due to personal circumstances, she decided to move. She loves her job very much and did not want to quit. After discussing the situation with her boss, they agreed to have her work from home. It has been more than three years and she has continued to work from home for the same company. After one of her comment on my blog, I thought to blog about the option of ‘Working from Home’.

‘The Benefits’ of working from home

Flexible work schedule.

When you are working from home, you are creating your own schedule unless you have to attend meetings for work. You don’t have to put in a special request to leave early when the plumber is going to be home to fix that water line, or when you are getting delivery of the beautiful furniture you just purchased. You can schedule and take your breaks when you need to. Are you interested?

No driving or commuting to work.

I can’t even keep a count of how many times I get frustrated by drivers who are talking on the phone, and forget that they are driving. They are creating traffic blocks for miles. The time and energy that is saved to commute back and forth from work can be time spent with family (Spouse, kids, petsJ)

Fewer interruptions.

You are not going to be stopped in the hallway when someone wants to know the status of their request. People are not going to stop by your desk and interrupt you when you are focused on the assignment. When you work from home, you have fewer interruptions. This gives you more dedicated and focused time to work on the issue, request, project, or assignment.

Money savings.

Need extra cash? Well you got your savings all up and high with the greens that are staying in your bankJ. You are saving money on gas and car maintenance. Oh, and you are also saving money that could have spent on eating out at work.

Comfortable wardrobe.

Do I hear Pajama’s? You don’t need to dress up in formals or business casuals everyday when you are working from home. You can be comfortable in whatever clothes you like when you are working from home. I hear money savings, Ka-ching.

Healthy you.

By choice or not by choice, you are staying away from all the fast food and candies when you are at home. Those Friday donuts or occasional lattes are not part of your calorie intake.

Tax benefit.

Ka-ching. There comes greens’ flying over againJ. You will be able to write-off expenses and office space used for work purposes. So be sure to keep track of those work related spending.

‘The Challenges’ of working from home

Communication problem.

As you start working from home, you will find that communication via phone call or video conference is difficult. It does not always convey the message that you want to send across. You may also miss out on observing the body language, and gestures that allows you to read in between the line.

Still working.

Working from home means you never get to leave work. You are at work all day and all night long. No offense to people who stay late at work or brings work back home. But, when you don’t have the pressure to get up and be somewhere the next day, and when you can be in your pajama’s and continue working – the temptation to keep working is hard to pass.

Face to face interaction.

Oh sure, you will be happy that you don’t have to hear the whining and complaining chats of your co-workers, or you don’t have to hear the strange humor and weird jokes that your neighbors next cubicle pass, all day long. But all those interactions and voices that you hear over your cube are stimulations and mental breaks. It is very hard to sit all day, every day by yourself and focus and concentrate on work with no face to face interactions. You are going to face boredom sooner or later.

Slip-ups.

When you don’t have to dress a certain way, and be at work on certain time, it is easy to slip-up and delay the start of work some days. A great discipline and dedication is required to make sure that these slip-ups don’t happen often and your productivity is not impacted.

Decreased motivation.

A healthy competition is a motivation to outperform your colleagues. But when you are working from home, this competition will subside and eventually disappear. You also don’t have your boss or anyone else looking over your shoulder. Therefore you will have to find ways to motivate yourself in achieving or over achieving your objectives at work.

Many distractions.

Spouse, kids, and pets, may demand your attention when they see you at home all day. You may get into fights or arguments as you are struggling to balance between work and personal life when you at home every day. Then there are other distractions like watching TV, movies, and many more that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home. Self discipline is very important when you are working at home.

Household chores.

It seems like a benefit that you can take care of the laundry and dishes during your work hours when you are working from home. Those tasks may not take much time. But, if you are not careful in setting strict rules on household chores during work time, it can easily create pressing situations and stress for both personal and professional life.

Working from home has a lot of benefits, and also challenges that needs to be considered before deciding your options. Working at home requires maintaining greater self discipline. This career option may not be a best choice for everyone but I admire my friend who is performing wonderfully and balancing work and personal life. She is enjoying some of the great benefits and also working through the challenges.

Would you consider working from home fulltime in your current role?

Socializing at Work - Do you partake?

2011-06-14T12:20:00.016-04:00

v Do you ever find yourself talking to your boss, peers, and subordinates about things other than work? Do you consider it socializing?

v How about the occasional afternoon lunches or hitting the bar with your co-workers? Is that part of socializing?

v Do you ever find yourself inviting people you work with, over for dinner on a weekend? Or hanging out with them and going for a group vacation together? If so, you might be building relationships that will last beyond work or even job.

I came to US about seven years ago and I would not have much of a social life, if I had not socialized with the people I worked. To me socializing is taking the time and saying ‘Hello’ and learning about the interests of other person. I recently started a new job, and I am learning a lot about the people I work with. I have already been on few lunches with my new team mates, and am learning about their key interests. It is also helping me learn about the diversity and culture of the new organization.

I do not believe in wasting time at workplace that can otherwise be spent on doing the work. But consciously putting in an effort in regular socializing allows you to build the rapport and relationship with the colleagues you will be interacting on day to day basis.

If you have already established the rapport and relationship, it would be much easier to call up Pat in Accounting to re-run those month end reports, because you missed an expense. And Pat would be more likely to fulfill your request right away, if he knows you personally. It is not to say you need to bribe people to do their job, but we all come across situations when we need favors.

I know that socializing can be difficult when you have constant demands on your time in your professional and personal life. Your initial instinct might be to take the time spent socializing and get the work done so you get out of there. Socializing can be a simple two minute chat in the hallway, or when you are passing by your colleagues work area. It can also be going out on lunch or a going to team event with your peers (potluck anyone?). It is not supposed to be stressful and awkward.

Some pointers on socializing at work

SmileJ. It will allow anyone to approach you.
Be yourself. Don’t try to read up on certain interests and pretend you know all about it just because your boss is into it. Just be yourself and ask questions if you don’t know enough about the topic.
Talk less and listen more. Just listening and letting other person talk while you are nodding, smiling and laughing along will allow them to feel comfortable talking to you. Do ask questions or chime in if you have knowledge about the topic.
Learn about other person’s interests. Once you learn the key interests make sure you discuss or bring that up in future conversation. They will love it that you paid attention and may even chat you up J (going back to talk less and listen more).
Talk about your own interests. Make sure you share your interests and let others know the topics you are comfortable with. This will direct future conversations towards the mutually accepted topics (Kids, pets, house, sports, politics, music, etc.)
Socialize one on one or in a group. You can choose to either socialize one on one or in a group setting. You can always do both. You can mingle and socialize with many colleagues during a department lunch, or potluck, but not everyone is comfortable doing that. You can choose to go one on one lunch or coffee break with your peers and socialize with them.
Do the favors for your peers when they are in time crunch. Make sure you do the favors for your peers when they need it or have asked for it and bank them in. This definitely eases the path to socialization when you can be counted in for saving the day.
You are at work to work, don’t over socialize. Make sure you understand that you are hired to do the work. Socializing is important now days as we all work in team environment, but don’t over socialize. Don’t spend half a day or few hours a day socializing during your work hours, when you could be taking care of customer requests or completing that project work. If you like hanging out with someone from work, find time to socialize with them after work. You don’t want to over socialize and create friendships at the expense of your job.
Don’t socialize at the expense of productivity. Make sure you are not socializing at the expense of your productivity. If the time you just spent socializing could have been used to take care of the incident or an issue, which means you are avoiding work. You are paid for the job to get the work done, not to find ways to avoid it. The decreased productivity will show up on your performance and will most likely result in job loss.
Don’t gossip. Socializing does not mean gossiping about other team members or even your boss behind their back. You will be risking your credibility if you participate in gossiping about others at work. And if the word gets out about what you just said about your boss or if the worse happens and your boss hears it as s/he is passing by your work area – you have risked your job for an unhealthy pleasure.
Don’t do it after work, if you don’t want to. Socializing at work has a purpose in workplace. You don’t have to socialize with the people you work after Work. You may feel that you don’t want to spend another moment with them outside of work, so be it. You don’t have to promote it but you also don’t have to participate in it. Keep professional life apart from your personal life.

What are your thoughts on socializing? Would you consider socializing with your co-workers?

…. She has a blog. Why a blog?

2011-06-10T12:07:00.000-04:00

In one of the conversations with a close friend who visited me last night came a statement, when she saw my Facebook update for blog ‘…. She has a blog’ and it struck to me that I have not taken the time to share my reasons for a blog with my friends yet…. Yes, they will be there for me and yes they will support me. But, gosh wouldn’t it be nice if they knew my goals for the blog. They could support me even more, and be on my side when I need them the most. So here I am listing my goals for my blog. Your feedback is very important to me either through comments on the blog, facebook, through phone, email or in person. So keep them coming…..

Improve writing skills. Sounds boring huh..?

Some of my friends call me ‘Tube Light’. In India, we had those lights in our houses. So when you turn the switch on – they will blink couple times before turning on. So in sarcasm it means that I don’t get a humor right away. It takes me a few minutes to get it. Sometimes I am the last one to get the humor and laugh at it while the moment has already passed. So why am I explaining this? Well, I would like to learn, practice and incorporate humor, and light heartedness in my writing. Some of you who can make people laugh right off the bat know it is very hard to learn the skill. Not everyone has it, but once you have it…. Oh my, only who has it can tell us the benefits… So there, one of the reasons that I am blogging is to practice ways to add humor & lightheartedness to my writing skills and eventually in my day to day conversations. Bored already?

Expand my circle of support… Selfish?

I love you all my friends!!!! I am so fortunate to have friends in my life here in United States. I came to US about seven years ago with no family and friends close by. Being from a conservative family in India, I was not as likely to open up and reach out to create friendships. First couple years here in US were very tough. Other than one of the supervisors at Cleveland State University, I didn’t have many friends that I could share and talk to. I am still in touch with her and she is the most open, genuine, and supportive person I know. Then as I joined my internship, I met another person from India. I was very happy to have a friend that I could see every day and talk to. I shared both happy and not so happy moments with her about my day to day life, and the best part was she lived two blocks from my apartment at the time. So we even shared some walks and many trips to Starbucks. Due to a new job, I had to move a little farther away… about half an hour. Our day to day interactions became weekly or monthly visits and then in few months she told me, that she will be moving to ‘Florida’. I was devastated and in tears. I hid most of them from her as she was going to a place to be with her hubby. Our occasional visits converted into occasional phone calls, which kept on subsiding as life got busier for me here at work, and for her with work & baby. We still keep in touch and I saw her last year when she came here to Cleveland. In my new job here since 2008, I met another person and it took me two years to be friends with her. I think it was mostly because I was scared of opening up and then loosing the connection with a friend. Yes, it’s not love it is friendship. But it creates a deeper connection at least for me. The last year was fabulous; I did not just become friends with her but few other fabulous people at my work place. But this year she told me that she is moving to Dallas. It was something that she had to do for herself and I totally respect that. But here I was, again in tears that I was losing the deeper connection with yet another friend. I miss her and know she will miss me and our close friendship but sometimes you have to take care of yourself and whatever life brings to you. I still am friends with her and she is the one who visited me last nightJ. I recently switched jobs myself in 2011, but I am still in touch with all the friends and working on building that deeper connection with everyone that I have become friends with. And, now I know the power of friendship that lifts you up when you are down, that makes you laugh, that allows you to share anything and everything that is going on in your life with the trust that it will be kept safe, that lets you whine and complain and still know that you are loved and supported, that helps you grow, and that allows you to be yourself. I am sharing it, with all my friends right now and would like to expand my network and those of my friends’ so we always have a shoulder other than our spouses’ or partners’ to let us rest and just be. I know it’s a bit selfish of me but I treasure my friendship with each and every one of you.

Share my experiences….. Sounds easy?

I already started sharing my experiences with the newest member in our lives. My cute handsome little boy, Yash Aditya Jain. We call him Aadi at home but at his daycare, everyone calls him Yash. It has been quite easy to share my experiences with him that involves all smiles, silliness and fun. But will it be easy for me share my opinion on any controversial topics? I don’t know, I haven’t crossed that bridge yet, but I am keeping tab of all my thoughts and if I have enough material to write a blog…. Well then it will be something that will be discussed with my friends… a healthy debate J. I am still young (at least that’s what I keep telling myself) and have a lot more to learn and see. So I do look forward to sharing my experiences, and blog about the topics of my interests. I do not have a list of topics that I will focus on, but I am definitely open to suggestions if you have any.

Reading vs. Listening book – Is there suppose to be a debate?

2011-06-08T12:45:00.003-04:00

I prefer non-fictional, self development type books. Some people call them the boring types. But I love them. I get very excited about a good read; they capture my attention and get me thinking.

Some of those books are very light hearted and have a lot of interactions to keep me engaged. But some books are heavy with intense material and detailed statistical analysis that needs to be processed. Sometimes the material gets monotonous & boring, sometimes because the book is going in the same tone or using the similar examples again and again or mostly because I have listened/read enough for the day. You know – ‘I Just Had Enough…..’

I enjoy both reading & listening depending on the book and what type of material it holds. It is one of those choices you make depending on the book, your lifestyle and the time commitments.

How would I decide?

Reading…….

If I were to choose a book to read, it would be the one that is on the heavy side. The book that has lot of detailed analysis and examples to back it up. So when I read such a book, I can take time to make notes, and pause to let my own thoughts reflect for a while. No worries of paying attention on the road or splitting focus with another task @ hand. Example: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Reading allows you to focus your attention
Ignore the surrounding and dedicate your time
Be immersed into the dialogue that the book is having with you
Build vocabulary
Freedom to pause at any second and think about what you just read
Be engaged with yourself as you read
It means carrying at times carrying books, kindle, iPad, Nook, or any other reading device that you have
You can also read while driving … Whoa…. Only if you are not in a driver seat

Listening…….

The book I would choose to listen would be a lighthearted one with a good narrator. The narrator has to be engaging me in a conversation. The book that may have examples or a little analysis but mostly is providing me with good information to use in my day to day life right away. Example: Made to Stick

Listening allows you to multi-task
It is a one of the best options for learning something new in your busy life
It does not require carrying multiple books with you, but just the gadget which holds all your audio books
Learn pronunciation of certain words, and art of saying things
Freedom to pause at any second and think about what you just heard
Be engaged with the narrator as they read the book to you
Save trees. No need for paper to print

Reading when tired or listening to a monotonous narrator will work as a lullaby to your ears. Make sure you are already caught up on all your Zzzzzzzzz’s…. You don’t want to fall asleep during your lunch break while reading only to wake up few hours later (oops). Neither do you want to feel sleepy while driving as you listen to a non-engaging narrator (scary)

Fun Fun Fun ways to enjoy reading:

Join the book club or call friends over to read a chapter and then discuss what you just read. Don’t forget the snacks
Coffee places have the best environment to relax and enjoy reading your book. Aahhhh… the smell of coffee

Fun Fun Fun ways to enjoy listening:

Take your iPod, iPhone, MP3, or any gadget with audio books and go for a brisk walk. You will be very happy to have completed a chapter or two and the time flies
Instead of listening to the radio or watching TV, try listening to a book when you are in the gym, or driving. You will be amazed at how fast you completed that workout or reached to your destination

Six months old.....? Great, why dont you read to Mommy

2011-06-06T21:48:00.000-04:00

I decided to give it a try and let my baby boy read on his own. I picked the perfect first soft book, family oriented, and with lots of images. Who knows, he may be interested in helping me cook one of his newly found favorite dish from Better Homes & Gardens magazine. I am so proud. He nailed his first reading assignment J

Yash (Aadi) going crazy playful in the Jumperoo

2011-06-06T21:40:00.003-04:00

Yash loves the jumperoo. It keeps him engaged for at least 10 – 15 minutes. So many toys that I bought for him, this one is the first that he enjoyed so much. This is a lifesaver when you really need a break to just sit and take a breath or just to get his food ready.

It is the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo with lights and sounds.

Hard to let go six weeks old baby

2011-06-06T12:49:00.003-04:00

I started sending my cute baby boy to day care when he was 6 weeks old. First few days were horrible… I cried a lot… and then one day

When I went to day care to pick him up, I see that he is smiling at his teacher. The teacher kissed him… and he was all joy… I was crushed… My baby was cheating on me ….. He should know that she is not his mamma…

I know it sounds silly but it is one of the many feelings that moms go through. I cannot believe it was so hard to let go off him at 6 weeks old.

I was sad that he did not recognize me by heart at 6 weeks old (silly me) and happy that he was developing the social skills and was comfortable with someone other than me holding him and playing with him.

About Me....

2011-06-05T21:56:00.000-04:00

Hi

I am Anjita. I work full time. I am a mother of a handsome baby boy, and wife to an amazing man! I have two pets - Leo the dog, and Goofy the cat. Sometimes I think their names are interchanged... lol

Usually when I decide to try something new, I just jump in with a mindset to accomplish it. Well, yeah I do some research but not as detailed. It is usually the excitement, the intense desire to go forward with it that drives me to make a decision.

When I decided to blog, how do you think I proceeded? Ok, I admit - I did more research than I usually do on how to start the blog, and choose the blogging service. I did not just go and create the account on the first service I saw out on the internet, but I read few articles to find out the top 10 blogging services out there. Blogger is not listed as #1 on the top 10 list, but surely it is in the top 10.

I want to make sure as I start the world of blogging, I have the blog site which allows me to be hands on and focused on blogging and not worried on customizing the code to change the look & feel.

So here I start the journey of blogging.... I intend to blog on family, work, life, baby, pets, technology, vacation, and lot many more topics as they come around.

All I ask for is your support and suggestion in any way to enhance the topics, and my writing skills.

Thanks for reading and look forward to many more interactions!!!!!

Anjita.