anoobhooti

SOME NEWS

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Mon, 20 May 2013 04:59:00 +0000

Today i saw a news that in Chennai old parents committed suicide because there DIL filed a false report that his FIL misbehaved with him. It saddened me a lot.Parents always think that children will be their saviour when they grow old and then this..

I would say that parents must understand that the time of living with children is gone, so whether you are able to do less or more for your children, but make sure that you arrange for your old age, and never live with children. I have seen that wherever parents are rich or earn more than the children, they are respected and certain discipline is followed , but once children start earning more, DILs become totally irreverent and arrogant without any discipline in life. So whether we like it or not money matters.

Somewhere most of the people cant give up a life of comfort, even if it comes after forfeiting self respect, here I differ.I believe in living with dignity, may be without material comfort or some day to day problems even..Now the onus is on the older generation...what they want...to exhchange their dignity for comfort or live on their own ...to take the crumbs or live with self respect..

You have done you job with bringing them up, now let them live, whether they do their duty or not is their outlook...,,you must let them be free....

Extra Marital relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Thu, 16 May 2013 04:08:00 +0000

Recently I read two books one from Nirupama Subramaniyam and other from Anita Nair., and both had extra marital relationship at the core.Why do they happen? Normally people think that some dissatisfaction is at the core of that, but not necessarily. Sometimes, or many time people just think of themselves and enjoying the life.
Whether arranged marriage or love, there will always be a time when life settles to a routine without any adventure, and if one is ready to think then it is stagnation. Or sometimes its individual growth, one advanc3s and other is not able to grow with times and people feel incompatible. I hear many women saying after 25 years of marriage that they are ill suited to each other or they feel a vacuum in their life.Of course it happens, but sensible people find the solution withing marriage only.
The best way to find a solution is to communicate what you want, but the problem arise when its one sided and other just doesnt want to do anything to better or always thinks of her/himself as perfect, then may be its time to move on, but never think outside while living in a marriage..otherwise same thing happens as in the two novels I wrote earlier about.

In Intermission..Nirupama subramaniyam..Varun sareen and Gayatri marry for love but after some years love goes out of the window. Gayatri always finds fault in everything her husband does and regrets her choice, Varun gets attracted to a neighbour and seduces her..
In Mistress..Anita Nair,..Radha is a snobbish daughter of a rich industrialist . has affair with a married man, does an abortion and then his father marries her to a man who was earlier poor, but not any more. She gets married but neither loves him nor respects him, and then gets into a relationship with a foreign tourist who stays in their resort.I totally dislike people who marry but dont respect the institution or the commitment it requires. Better not to marry..Her uncle is a Kathkali dancer, and I loved every detail written about this dance form.
In both the stories all the extra relationships are temporary, they could never turn into something permanent, so bring only misery either to the person involved or people who loved them.

In fact I found in them a moral lesson...to cure unhappiness, dont ever do something immoral or never do any thing just for yourself if it will hurt others involved..short term happiness is not worth it.If one is getting restless in a relationship, better to find some creative outlet, take some hobby, learn something new or start doing something for social causes or unprivileged people..it will bring long term happiness and may be better your married life too.

MOTHER'S DAY

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 11 May 2013 05:07:00 +0000

For the last week whenever I open any paper there are deals galore for mother's day, and gifts could be anything..from home appliances to home....I smile at the merchants finding one more idea to sell their merchandise.Now a days there are so many special days in a year that diificult to remember..mother's day, father's day.children's day,bdays, anniversaries and then our festivals,and Akshay tritiya and many more.....

Mother's day is celebrated with pomp and show whereas today only I read a news where one set of parents in Gujarat are running from pillar to post to get relief from their DIL and son who are tormenting them so much.Its not something you can celebrate in a day, it should be your day to day business. Today not many children want to live with parents, not in the same house. Those who live, are rude frequently and disrespect them frequently, but on mother's day all feel happy by giving some small token or a card. Ask anyone who celebrates these days, how much they do for their parents, not many will be even calling their parents twice a week...citing a busy life where they find time to go out, to eat, to do shopping and sometimes sight seeing...

There are not many children who even know what their parents like,
If parents want them to write regularly or call, they dont think that will show their love...
if parents want them to send a card, they will forget and not consider it as important...
if Parents live with them, then since they are all the time there, no need to be anything else,
if parents are visiting, then also they want parents to conform to their lifestyle,

They want to show their love only in their own way..not bothered if it makes their parent happy

but come mother's or father's day..they are celebrating it.....
I fail to understand this celebration....
I consider day to day care more important...and round the year I try to do whatever I can,if my mom wants anything, I try to get it and go out of the way without thinking of any convenience, and whenever i am with her, I conform with her lifestyle, and try to do everything to her satisfaction, I call her often, because that makes her feel better. And same for my MIL, she lives with me at her ripe age, though she has 4 other children, I look after her every need and liking...be it medicines, food, clothes...instead of her son, she would ask me if she needs anything..
And That s my celebration....
I dont say that dont celebrate, but do it only if you can manage it round the year, dont make a farce..

it shouldnt be like you are making them miserable round the year, and salvage your guilt by celebrating this one day...

Corruption in our homes

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Mon, 06 May 2013 04:39:00 +0000

Now a days whenever we open the paper in the morning, there is a new scam..corruption is reaching new heights and we all feel sad and frustrated. But are we all not doing some little corruption in our daily lives..and doest it matter only with quantum or even spirit is important....
I have seen many people who consider themselves as pillars of society and are quite arrogant and snob, but totally corrupt financially...And they are called respectable people, though personally I dont respect anyone like that..Few examples...

Many people participate in the pilferage of electricity...rich by having a jugaad for running multiple ACs and paying for none, wheres poor just take it without paying anything, as in slums...

Many doctors get a govt job and collect the salaries without going there at all, all the while running their own practices. And many who go charge extra from the patients, and prescribe them expensive tests where their cut is predecided.Tests may not be even required and here they dont leave even very poor.

Many people pay for 2 BHk flats, but then cover all the balconies and extra space into extra rooms, storage ,without thinking that doing this they change the ecological environment and ventilation in the houses of the other people.

People never put plants in their own area, instead they show their love of green only by occupying some extra space from the public area.

All the shopkeepers keep inreasing the footpath or road area occupied by them, they pay for some only and try to get double of that, irrespective of the inconvenience caused to to pedestrians or other road users.

All autoriksha drivers never run by meter, its not that only rich are corrupt....its the mentality that counts, money has no value in morality........

Many fruit sellers cheat in weighing...

Milk, subsidised by govt. is always being sold at higher price..

We pay big amounts to schools for admission of our child, isnt that a bribe?

When we have no reservation in train, we are ready to pay anything to get a berth.

I can count many more such incidences where rich and poor are equally corrupt and never realise it.but raise a hue n cry only when someone influential does it. But we can remove it only if we become ethical in our day to day life...

I request to everyone to think over it..
Use only that much electricity which you can pay
Dont occupy unauthorised spaces anywhere.
Be genuine in your profession, or i can say be loyal to your profession..

LESSONS IN FORGETTING

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 04 May 2013 04:47:00 +0000

Lessons in Forgetting..Anita Nair
a very good, interesting book and with a purpose.Meera is a corporate wife happy with her parties, elegant settings and etiquette's.whereas her husband is ambitious and wants to sell her house to start a business. When she denies it( she cant sell it as she has no right over it, but she doesnt tell it to him), he leaves her.Then the story is about how she picks up her life, meets Jak(Indian American, also divorced). And Jak is looking for the people who destroyed her daughter because she found a clinic where infanticide is being practised for money.Its quite interesting to read how Indians see a girl who is born and brought up in US and the different interpretation of same things and behaviour by Indians and Americans. How sensibilities change with upbringing and environment.

Stay Hungry Stay foolish...Rashmi Bansal
This is a very inspiring book. It is a compilation of 25 stories of IIM graduate who became entrepreneurs..I was very impressed with Mr Venkat Krishnan..graduate of 93 batch, he founded Give India...A quote from him...We need the best minds in our country to think .what is the best human ideal we aspire towards. Rather than what is the next 30 Cr. flat I can buy for myself or whatever else I can do for myself..
Otherwise everybody is an inspiration in this book.

Who will cry ,when you die..Robin Sharma
Nothing special, very routine advice for a good living..

safety tips

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Wed, 01 May 2013 06:33:00 +0000

Girls Be Careful
Share this please ..

1) What should a woman do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift in a high-rise apartment late at night?

Experts Say: Enter the lift. If you need to reach the 13th floor, press all the buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.

2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house, run into the kitchen.

Experts Say: You alone know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept.And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over.

Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught.

3} Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.

Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number. Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands .Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector!

4}What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed to - and you feel you are entering a danger zone?

Experts Say: Use the handle of your purse or your stole (dupatta) to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

5} If you are stalked at night.

Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers always have security guards. They are also monitored by close circuit television.
Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.

Please spread it to all those women u care & spread awareness as dis is d least we can do for a social & moral cause and fr d safety of women.
Dr-Ihab Maher

Chennaivasi

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 05:26:00 +0000

The incredible banker....Ravi subramaniyam
I saw this book everytime I went to landmark, so when i got a chance to read it, I was not going to miss it.And it didnt dissappoint me.I was wondering do they teach writing also in IIM:)..
Initially when i read about the working of banks in details, I thought I am not going to enjoy, but then story kept on growing. This book is about a foreign bank in India and how targets for teams can be motivating too but may backfire too. How people manipulate everything, everyone and how banks negligence in filling KYC in everything may cost them and country. People could do money laundering and support terrorists and naxals. I am happy that it gave me an insight into the working of banks, credit cards etc.It compelled me to think how ethics and morality should always come above promotion and money, thought temporarily one may suffer too...

Two Sisters.....Rabindranath Tagore
I got this book because I have always liked to read about old era and have found that somethings are still relevant, but this book sounded totally obsolete to me, nothing much interesting or relevant.

Chennaivasi...T.S.Trimurthi
I am always interested in reading about Chennai, its people and traditions here, so as soon as I saw the title, I got it and it didnt dissappointed me..very very interesting book. Its about a TamBram boy falling in love with a jewish american and how he and his family deals with this...His parents are very conservative tamilians, specially so the father(its universal),he cant accept it, though in his own time he also loved a britisher, though he left her due to parental opposition.I loved reading everything in the book, except the boy's behaviour, he protects his love all the time..fine thats very good and he should do so, but he is very callous and uncaring and disrespectful towards his parents. If its because of their opposition to his girlfriend, then its irrational, because what could he expect from them when he knew they were rigid. But no boy from a cultured family would be like him...he is a selfish modern child, I wished him to be a better person , considering his back ground.

The Bankster...Ravi Subramaniyam
As the name suggests, its about a banker, who is a gangster:)...its an amazing story and tell us the details about how any good movement is hijacked by vested interests and turns into a riot and something against country..its like a thriller and keeps you glued to it.woven into the theme is free wheeling dealing society, broken marriages,and low morals.

Chidambaram

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 05:58:00 +0000

III day.

We had BF in Green park and started from there to Chidambaram. We went to see Vaitheeswaran koil and luckily it was Tuesday. There was so much crowd. This temple is among one of the navgraha temples....Mars temple.Shiva is worshipped here as a god of healing.This place is famous for nadi shastra..astrology of palm leaves. I was very curious to know about this for a long time but when time came, people said that its not true and then there are shops in a line..all of them for naadi shastra and no way to kn ow who is genuine.So we didnt ask anything:(..but I still feel that i missed that.)

And then it was time to return back.

When I visited Madurai,Kodaikanal and rameshwaram, i was amazed at what a rich cultural heritage we have, and it has been relegated to a corner. In this era of economic boom, our handloom weavers and local artisans are not getting any benefit of this globalisation. In Madurai one can find golden look earrings and all in just 10/ and they are made from the coins and colored beads. In kodaikanal artificial jewellery in traditional designs is very cheap and good.In Rameshwaram, very good sarees are woven and a fraction of the price . I just wish that some NGOS come forward to organise them, because with some organisation and and some help in the filed of designing and color combinations they can really come very far in life.This way we can save our heritage and give a respectable and comfortable life to our lots of country men

Shopaholic and sister...Sophie Kinsellaa

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 04:12:00 +0000

Shopaholic and sister...Sophie Kinsella
This is about Rebecca brandon, who is newly married and addicted to shopping,suddenly she comes to know that she has a half sister , she tries her best in her style to bond with her. The story is all about her shopping extravaganzas and how they affect her married life and relationships... written in a light hearted way, its quite interesting and enjoyable.

Delhi..Khushwant Singh

Written in first person, this is an account of delhi in 60..70 and some mughals and 17th century people and the environment at that time..people like nadir shah, Poet Meer, Saadi..and kings like aurangjeb, bahudur shah jafar,and there is nothing redeeming about anyone, it seems as if they lived a life of complete debauchery and so did the protagonist.

Snapshots..Shobha dey
i am getting bored with her, she is writing nothing better than porn.

A FINE BALANCE...Rohinton Mistry
This is a story with real people, set in70.80's.Main character is Dina shroff who is a headstrong person from her childhood, has her own ideas about marriage ,love and life and lives accordingly.Everything is very natural, but one thing disappoints me that there is nothing good happening anywhere anytime in their life and most of the character have many flaws..why couldnt writer make it a little more enjoyable by including some happy moments and some good people. Everybody there suffers a lot and has nothing much to look forward too..There is no saviour anywhere..quite depressing..I would rather read about some imaginary people than reading such misery..

One Amazing thing..Chitra bannerjee Divakaruni
I am becoming her fan, whatever she writes,one thing is sure that it would be interesting. here the story starts in Indian visa office in US where people of different countries are present and an earthquake happens, they are trapped, and then they decide that to pass the time each one should tell one amazing thing or incident from one's life...All the stories are not given closure, I would have liked it more to see the end..its an open book.

I heard a lot about Virginia Woolf, so got a book from her, but i couldnt read it:(
Read a short story collection, collected by Khushwant Singh, where stories are from famous writers, some translated from different languages...few are good, but nothing much to write about

Is it?

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 04:39:00 +0000

It has been a long time and I have so much to say but still thoughts are so muddled up in my mind that it would take tine to sort them out.I was on my vacation trip to my siblings and mom and state.yes there is a change in places also.Specially if you go there in winter, everything is so different. And now living here for so many years, I am not used to cold weather, so instead of enjoying quilts and hot tea, I found it troublesome.. See this happens even in India, why blame those who immigrate abroad:)..There are always few things which we miss and other which we dont like.
I miss the way we celebrate the festivals in north, and those get together like bhajans, Sundar kand path and even kitty parties,and people meeting with open hearts,but totally dislike the display of wealth in everything and so much wastage of food just to show off,and people always running after money.....
Here I like the spiritual bend of mind, people more interested in fine arts, simple food, I just wish that they were a little more social and cordial to visitors.
People like me sometimes feel homeless, as we dont feel like we belong to north the way we should and here in south we are always north Indians so who am I?
I am an Indian....may be thats why we feel national identity more than the regional one....
What do you think?

Kumbhkonam

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 07:33:00 +0000

II day.

We had a sumptous BF what with hot idlies, Vadas, dosa, and butter toast too, with hot coffee, couldnt ask for anything else, filled myself to the brim and then we started to Kumbhkonam.

After around one hour we reached Patteswaram temple, this is durga temple and the idol is covered with silver.
Darasuram..This is the Unesco heritage site, a hindu temple built in dravidian style..huge gopuram and shivling.
Nageshwara kovil....This is a shiva temple and known for its shrine of Rahu..its one among the navgrah temples.
Uppiliappan coil....This is very near to Nageshwaram temple and dedicated to Vishnu.

Now the times was around 12, the time for temples to be closed , so we looked around for a hotel and found Green Park...it was reasonably good, we had a big room with dining table and sofa,we didnt need all that but it was spacious and clean and with all the amenities too..like AC TV.We had lunch in their restaurant and it was delicious.Though they dont serve everything they list in menu.Then we took some rest, but when i am out , i dont feel like resting, so we went out around 3.30, and started from Sarangpani temple..But it was closed and they said that they would open at 4.30, but they didnt open till 5.30.So we just sat there..It has a very big chariot, biggest i have seen so far. It is said that this is the biggest Vishnu temple in south.

Next on my list was Ramaswamy temple, this is called the Ayodhya of south, as there are few temple here where we can see Ram sita, lakshaman , Bharat and Shatrughna..When we do parikrama we see the whole Ramayana depicted thru pictures all around,but all the description is in Tamil, so we cant enjoy them..

NAGESHWARAM KOVIL

DARASURAM

RAMASWAMY TEMPLE

KASI VISHWANATH

UPPILIAPPAM KOVIL

SARANGPANI

Kasi vishwanath..This is a shiva temple, deity being the same who is in Varanasi..it has Mahamman tank also and it is said that all sins can be washed away by having a bath there.

Outside Ramaswamy temple there are many tea shops and serve excellent tea, so good that i had two:)..I wanted to see the market but driver couldnt find parking ,so we had to go back to hotel and called it a day

THANJAVUR

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 04:21:00 +0000

I was planning for a long time to see the temple cities of Tn and this time on sakranti god fulfilled my wish.We made a three day trip
1 day..

we started from Chennai around 6 in the morning. whenever i get up early, it feels so fresh and rejuvenating that i promise myself that i am going to make it a routing, but sadly it never happens.Since I didnt know anything about either the cities or temple, my friend's DIL made a detailed itinerary for me, keeping in mind my preferences.and what a methodical person she is.I feel very grateful to her, as she did it on a very short notice.She had advised us to have breakfast at Neyvelli..ITC restaurant, but since we started a little late,(she had advised us to start at 5.30), our driver stopped somewhere on the way to eat..but the place was not good, neither the food nor cleanliness..

Around 11 we reached Chidambaram and saw Natraj temple its a very ancient temple of Shiv ,what a huge temple it is, one gets the feeling of complete awe.There were so many foreigners there and most of the women wearing silk sarees and I thought what an irony it is, our young generation finds it cumbersome and they are loving it.There all Swamis keep asking you about your address, but our friend had already warned us not to tell it to anyone.so we had darshan and came out. There are many restaurants outside, so one can have lunch there.

Then since it was closing time for temples we decided to travel to Thanjavur. On the way we had some tea and snacks.I found lot of thatched houses there, may be because of heat..In TN, it looks that govt hasnt gone to the interiors, development is limited to big cities only. There are narrow bumpy roads.But it was therapeutic to see so much of lush greenery.We reached there around 3.30 and went to see Thanjavur Palace first...Its not exactly palace like, just a reminder of that. Rest there are museums.for old manuscripts.and you will be surprised to know that even in 17th century medical people had full diagrams of our systems.There are different type of files,minute writings on tree barks...Then there are bronze statues and so finely carved that you can see the nails even beautifully...amazing craft and people we had..

Then we went to see Brihadeeshwar temple and it was the most beautiful and big temple I have seen, everything is so huge and amazing, even if one takes a parikrama it will take some time..I cant express in words..its impact on you...awesome..

THANJAVUR PALACE

CHIDAMBARAM TEMPLE

bRIHADEESHWAR TEMPLE

Then we looked for the hotel to stay. There were two good ones but they didnt have place and some were very expensive. Ultimately we found onePLA Residency..it was excellent, in everything.ambiance, comfort and cleanliness and reasonable too at 2200/ night inclusive of BF and what a sumptuous BF they had..perfect.Since the market was completely closed we had an early night.

Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 05:05:00 +0000

I feel very frustrated when some famous people say that politics and sports should be kept separate or music and politics should be kept separate. arent sports and music a part of our life and arent our soldiers a part of our life? If our hand is hurt our eyes cry, can we keep them separate and say dont feel hurt?Our soldiers are not killed, they are BEHEADED...shouldnt we say in one voice.we shall not tolerate it?.Is it politics to feel for our fellow countrymen?...

How can people even think about AMAN KI AASHA and SUR SHETRA with this back ground. We are considered weak if we think humane.War is not the answer and so is these culture exchanges..First we must make ourselves strong in all respects..internal, security and border security..and traitors should be punished, cleanse our own society, only then think about any cultural or otherwise exchanges.

SUPERSTAR INDIA

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 06:19:00 +0000

SUPERSTAR INDIA..Shobha De
It is about India, Indian people, their quirks, moralities, food everything. She has written and covered almost everything about our lives and since this book was written in 2008, situation has changed. She thought Mayawati and Hillary Clinton will be heads in their respective place but it didnt happen..She has hyped Vijay Mallya..look where is he now and same with Amar singh..India is changing at a higher speed than she could visualise. The only thing that rankles me is that for the things she ridicules and in the same line she accepts that she also does the same.so if evolved people will also not make effort to change then how will it be done.
But the book is written in a fluid way and very interesting to read, I wanted to quote many sentences here, but I think it would be better if you read it..
worth it, try it

ENGLISH AUGUST..Upmanyu Chatterjee
I am puzzled why some writers are hyped so much..heard a lot about this book and there was a movie too but its totally boring, secondly the protagonist has no redeeming qualities..He is an IAS officer, but has no honesty of thoughts or deeds, uses obscene language, smokes drugs, shirks from his job and duties and fantasises about his friend's mother and another friend's kid daughter...I abhor such people..
not worth trying even.

MISTRESS OF SPICES...Chitra BanerjeeDivakaruni
This book has been made into a movie also starring Aishwarya Rai, though i can imagine her as mistress of spices. I havent seen the movie, but book is superb. Its a fantasy of the writer that there is this occult art where one can learn to speak to spices and be guided by them and help a lot to others thru them, but as is usual there are certain restrictions to lead that life and one cant deviate from that line.
very interesting book, worth a read.

TELL ME YOU DREAMS..Sydney Sheldon.
Very usual Sydney sheldon, but interesting...

CONDOLENCES

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 05:38:00 +0000

It is normally seen that whenever there is a death in any family, visitors talk like this..

They didnt see a good doctor, otherwise this would havent happened..

Nobody cared much..

They could have taken the person to a big city for treatment..

I would like to ask whether the outsiders love the person more than the family?
Have they done anything for that person when he/she was alive?
Doesnt always the family do the best they can?
Who knows about families constraints and problems?
and last but not the least have you come here to be a support or give them more grief and regret?

People defeat the purpose of their visit by their suggestions and criticism, grieving family needs support in every way,nothing else, so try to give whatever you can but please no suggestions and no ifs and buts...

Appearance

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 06:25:00 +0000

Just as i wrote in my last post about the mind set of people who think that English speaking and smartly dressed people get more respect, yesterday one of my friend told me a real incident..

He went to bank for some work and was sitting there when he saw a man, dark complexioned(another of our prejudices), dressed in dhoti could speak only Tamil,he had a draft for 5000/..and he needed money immediately for her daughter's delivery. But the clerk over there didnt help him instead he said that you deposit in your account and you will get it after 2 days. But that man needed money that day only, he had the urgent need, her daughter was in hospital, he said that bank could deduct some charge and give him the amount..but nobody in the bank listened to him and offered any solution.So this friend of mine called him and asked the details and then told the officer over there that they could always buy the draft..there is a provision in bank.but they gave excuses like..we have to see the reputation of customer and all that..so he came in the form and asked them to chk the details..he was their customer for 8 years and none of his cheque had bounced so far..isnt it enough for a bank to help his customer...whereas once a cheque they received for an IAS customer's account and there wasnt enough balance, but instead of bouncing it they called the person and cleared it..

So for them a person's financial status and appearance meant more than the dictum that customer is god and they must try to help the customer..

Of course in the end they gave him the money but only because of this friend of mine..

We need to change this mindset,everybody must help more to those who have less than those who have more..and a person must be respected for virtues not for possessions.

ENGLISH VINGLISH

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 04:37:00 +0000

I saw English Vinglish with so much expectations , but was disappointed, I think everybody knows the story, so I shall tell you what I noticed..

I never endorse the view that those who know English are better off and more intelligent, because English is only a language, they know one more language, nowhere it becomes equal to poise, confidence, styling , affection,intelligence, everything as if its a Alaadin ka chirag. Sreedevi is shown as clumsy,unappealing housewife who is brusque with her husband, never affectionate..and according to her nobody respects her..( I dont give much importance to her teenage daughter, because many children feel that way but if tackled properly they change, I feel that its her upbringing too which is at fault).

and then she learns English and suddenly she becomes a diva. smart(starts wearing trench coats instead of shawl), gets oodles of confidence, and people start respecting her..gets accolades from everyone( her husband always appreciates her cooking but that is not important to her)..

I have seen many women who dont know English but are respected by everyone in their family and outside.Respect is not for English language, its for the person..

Even her encounter with visa people and all are ridiculous, because translators are always provided to those who dont know English.
I never like the woman who encourage extra marital affections for trivial reasons, one has to be strong in the character everywhere...
Dont know why people liked sridevi in this role, I found her looking haggard and her mannerisms awkward..would have preferred some other actress may be Tabu. or Divya balan

Desirable Daughters..Bharati Mukherjee
Most of the Bengali writers write about NRI Bengali's and their life, this is also about them and their own community.sort of Ok only

Equal Music...Vikram Seth
I liked his Suitable boy,and ten two lives too, so thought of reading it, but it couldnt interest me at all, so much so that i couldnt read it even.

I got two books from Robert Ludlum..
1..Traveyane...its not like Ludlum at all..no action, no supense, just talking..

2...Janson Directive...again it looks like a very old story written in a very small font and dint find it interesting.

and now..

नया साल मंगलमय हो, सब के जीवन में समृद्धि, खुशहाली लाये

हमारी शुभकामनाएँ

Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 07:15:00 +0000

In all the relationships this the one which is the backbone of every relationship in life, because its mother only WHO moulds the personality of an individual into what he becomes when he is grown up, so if one tries to be a good and efficient mother, many other problems of future are solved.and since mothers are adulated so much, itys time they took the responsibility also for the wrong doing s of their wards..Nobody can be a good mother by just pampering and providing for all the whims of their children.Mothering means giving them a good foundation with good values..... Of course there is no fixed formula for that, and it depends on person to person and circumstances, still if few basic things are maintained lot of work is done

when the kids are young that is time to start their education for discipline and moral values and better if its done through practice. At this time we can make their foundations strong with our love and model behaviour. Children always imbibe their elders. Whatever is learned in the childhood, stays forever.Normal practice is to leave them free when they are young , thinking-bade ho kar sab seekh jaayenge , but its not like that, habits are formed in the beginning only.and love doesnt mean just giving ,its judicial giving and judicial withholding.And sometimes listening to a firm NO makes them resilient,teaches them acceptance of life, where they cant get everything ..

In the teen years, they need a friend and confidante,so try to be friendly,not a friend, because its necessary for the children to respect the parents,no matter what,this habit of respecting parents brings in them a lot of discipline in life.This is the time to teach them to be confidant, not to be in awe of peer pressure, tell them about the rights and wrongs in the life,and if there is any problem, then parents are the best people to solve that.Give them a confidence that they can share anything with you, their fears, their choices everything. Dont be judgemental.When the children are taught values from the beginning, they may come to some cross roads in life and may be in a dilemma, but be sure they will never deviate from the path of righteousness.Trust them. This is the most turbulent phase of their life support them, be like a rock behind them and see them grow into confident individual.

Then it is time for them to choose a profession, let them make a choice, dont choose it for them.Its their life and they should have every right to take its decision.Give them freedom, but tell them that freedom with itself brings lot of responsibilities.Tell them the pros and cons of everything but the final decision should be theirs.Life is not always a bed of roses, let them find it for themselves, they will respect and value everything more this way. The best gift parents can give to their children is ROOTS---that is unstinted support in their ventures and.... WINGS. freedom to do what they want, its not that o parents can teach only, sometimes they can learn a lot also from them .Dont do everything for them, rather tell them how to do it..Parents who try to do everything for their lot, are not making their life comfortable, rather sowing a seed for lifelong dissatisfaction, because when they will not get the same treatment from others in life, they will never appreciate anyone and wont get any appreciation too,They will be miserable due to their dependency habit.

Last duty-for the parents, if you feel like that is -finding them a partner, here also if they choose themselves, accept it happily,believe that you have inculcated enough sense of propriety, and values, so hopefully they will not go wrong. or they will learn..

SHOBHA AT SIXTY..SHOBHA DEY

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 04:55:00 +0000

KALKI: SELECTED STORIES
This is a translation from Tamil by Gowri Ramnarayan.The stories are from old era, written in the same way as Premchand wrote in Hindi.The situations at that time were very different and morals very high, but there were all sort of people too.But all stories tell us about some ideal.first is about girl education, where a girl lost the love of her life because she couldnt read, and so she studied and devoted her life to girl's education.Then there is one about untouchability, child marriage etc.
Nice read.

SHOBHA AT SIXTY..SHOBHA DEY
Shobha dey writes in her style about life after sixty.Its a sort of management guide for woman written in a simple and interesting way.Some very simple solutions for complicated problems, though i am sceptical of them working.As is common with all the people who have everything, they say they like simple things and they work from them, cant believe how much of that is true and how much just to make an image. But some ideas are really good and workable too, so all in all a good read...

Humanity

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 05:26:00 +0000

Lately where ever i see there is a huge cry for justice for that unfortunate girl in Delhi. Govt is so pressurised from everyone that they are promising all help in treatment.Everybody is so disgusted that they want castration or death to the rapist..
But nobody is looking for any long term solutions, In dont think that only stern punishment can deter the others. And so many times rapes are not reported, people are not caught even.I always think that the men who did this, they are also the brothers, and sons, how their families feel? and what type of mother they have to have brought up such a son..
We need to bring back the values in life..
All the women need to bring up their children with certain moral values and for that they need to live those ones.
When the children watch everything, families never bother
. When children speak wrong language, they are just brushed off.
.Nobody becomes a pervert or criminal just one fine day, the signs are there for the families to see , but they dont take pains to reform them.

How many parents instill good values in children by telling them everyday and by living them?,,they are just taken for granted...hamaare bacche hain acche hi hain aur honge.Parents are giving too much pocket money to children, vehicle when they are underage for license even and money is giving them the freedom to drink and enjoy.....

Most of the time we are so involved with the finance factor or convenience that we completely forget morals.
Only police or govt cant solve the problem..Its the whole society which has to change.to learn to respect the moral values instead of financial status.
we must bring education to everyone.
And every mother must strive hard to bring up HUMAN children, not those robots
Teach your children to respect other human beings
When women harass their DILs they send a message to men that women have no value or respect..
Its parents duty to teach children to care for others too, not only..I,ME,Myself.
We must learn to co exist, stop the vulgar display of wealth...
We are running fast in the western direction whereas our society is not prepared for that( though i dont think that direction is good because they are battling with young unwed mothers, adopted children and plethora of problems, but all that we shall earn by suffering only)

We must talk to the accused families to know ..did they never know about their men?...otherwise why they didnt bother?

Till such time that we have better police, better administration and better society, it is in the good of girls only to live with precautions and safety..
Never take a bus in which there is no other passenger..
Keep a chilli spray and knife in your purse.
Try not to travel alone(though it didnt help this girl)
Keep a helpline no on speed dial on your phone.
If you are travelling at night, immediately take auto's no and driver's name and sms both to you family..everyday.
Best of Luck for surviving in this jungle!

QUEEN OF DREAMS

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 14:44:00 +0000

For a long time I wanted to read something by.Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni, so when i got hold of this book, I coudnt stop myself, and this is very interesting, I couldnt do anything till I finished.In the story Rakhi is an Indian born in US and living there .Her mother is a dream teller(sort of clairvoyance).She was a poor orphan in the slums of Calcutta, where one dream teller saw her gift and took her under her wing,They taught her everything about dream telling and controlling their dreams, their interpretation and helping others through them. But for this special gift, she was supposed to live a lonely life,no marriage and not even talking much.But she falls in love and leaves the sect and goes with him to US.and in the bargain looses here special gift.But then at sometime she becomes restless without her dreams and longs for them back in her life, so she secretly works and collects money for the ticket back to her sect.and just when she is ready, she finds that she is pregnant.and when she doesnt get any instructions thru her dream, she gives birth to a girl, and then her dreams comeback, but with a condition that she cant sleep with her husband.Then the story is about the effect on her husband and her daughter, and how she helps other people and many more things....I just loved this book and now I am going to read more of her writings.

Loving and not needing the person is the purest form of love...I just loved this line of hers.

WISE AND OTHERWISE..SUDHA MURTHY
This is a compilation of many incidents in Sudha Murthy's life, they form a story and every incident gives us a lesson in life.I think everyone should read it .it teaches us values, humanity and ways of life.There are 51 of them,I shall cite a few...
One poor boy who was given money for his boarding and studies, returned two months allowance when there was holidays..
In sahyadri hills, a tribal leader taught humility, when he refused to accept anything without giving something because thats their culture, their ancestors taught them...do not take without giving
That our youngster do not know anything about history about who was Jhansi ki rani and what is her contribution to the freedom
Why the important days like 15 august and all are declared a holiday, because most of the people enjoy the holiday forgetting the importance of the day.
How for any charities, politicians of that area are felicitated and real donors are relegated to back ground.
How people will spend a lot on clothes, parties, jewelleries, but when it comes to helping others, they have no money or many excuses.
People who seek help should also have some qualities.ask for help only when you have exhausted all your resources and when money is needed for medical or education purposes.One shouldnt need to take money for holidaying or for better standard of living, even if it is from relatives.
There are many more jewels in the book and you will have to read it to know:)

Strasbourg

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 06:39:00 +0000

Strasbourg is the capital of Alsace region in eastern France.We went driving over there from Zurich.its two and a half hour drive. The city is just after crossing the border of Switzerland.With a small child wherever we went , we could start only around 11 or 12 and then as soon as you start lunch time is there. Since we were in a hurry to reach, we thought of picking Pizza from Migros and started our journey.My grandchild A is totally averse to sitting in the car seat and so after some time, he just started howling, whatever we did nothing made him happy, so my son stopped the car at one place and walked him on the roadside and he was happy:).We reached around 2 , then took the hotel, kept the luggage there and started towards the city.

The main area is around cathedral. So we looked for a parking space some where, and this is the biggest work abroad..to look for a parking , ultimately my son dropped us at a cafe and went away to park.Like most of the other cities, this is also located around a river. From the cathedral, a mini train runs a one hour trip of the city.We decided to take it next day.The place around cathedral is so beautiful and lively that we wanted to enjoy that.Thats the beauty of Europe..these squares in the city.without any vehicle, with restaurants, musicians, sometimes rides too and designer shops as well as local souvenir, one can find everything...its fun to walk around..

In the evening i found very good Mediterranean food, just outside our hotel,to me falafal salad is fine with coke, and their dressing was.hmm..yummy..I loved it..

Next day we took the train and the trip was very enjoyable, specially the area of Petit France..its so beautiful.half timbered houses in cobbled streets..with an old world charm..everywhere everything is written in french, otherwise German is common..
But it was an open train and with bright sun it became unbearable hot for my child, and we wanted to hurry up.Had our lunch at those open restaurants.though lunch was awesome pizza, but the taste was spoiled as my son lost his glares..I never thought that there too people are like that...

CATHEDRAL SQUARE

SOUVENIR SHOPS

IN FRONT OF RAILWAY STATION

PETIT FRANCE

MAKING SOUVENIR FROM PENNY

All in all we had a very enjoyable trip, its a beautiful place worth seeing.

Derive happiness from your work, not from the things

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 04:24:00 +0000

I got this as email fwd but the feelings expressed are exactly mine and expresses much better than I ever could, specially the last line.......derive happiness from your work not from the things...

'The Blunt Truth about Making Millions', Article by

Adam Khoo, Singapore 's youngest millionaire.

'Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is travelling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused. This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster. Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky). I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur' s Organization) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worths well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's and Nissans (not Audis, Mercs, BMWs).

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation. Thank God my rich dad (oh no! I sound like Kiyosaki) foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last. Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.

Instead, what make ME happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see by companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life. What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this BLOG is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be in teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product.

If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaningless.......'

Mumbaistan..Piush Jha

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 03:23:00 +0000

This time my daughter on my bday gifted me the membership of this book borrow library...www.bookborrow.com.. and this is the first book I read. It has three stories..one about a girl rabia who is aLeT terrorist, and Tanveer a small time criminal who is blackmailed by ACP to work for police against terrorists.
Second story is about organ trading, exploitation of dalits and their revenge.
Third story is about a man in coma..and this is the most interesting one. All the stories are about deceit, betrayal, corruption and crime.written in a day to day language it is interesting to read as it is a thriller.
But I want something more from any book, something to learn, something new to know or some good language, some insight into anything, anyone, sadly its none of that.

Second book i demanded was..Secrets of Naga..as i had heard a lot about this trilogy from Amish Tripathi, but didnt like it, its a sort of metaphorical story...I didnt enjoy reading about Shiv Sati and other divine characters talking in common language..and behaving like humans.

Life cycle

noreply@blogger.com (Renu) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 12:28:00 +0000

When I was young and had two children and a very active social life, there was no time for anything else and i must have missed many opportunities for self.for education, job and awareness. Life seemed to be so complete that i became quite complacent for personal growth...
And when children grew up a little, they always wanted ME only everywhere, whether it was their lunch time or home work or anything else, and then sometime i wanted some me time..Like whenever I used to go for my annual trips I would ask my children and hubby not to even call me:) because if I didnt pick the phone they would get angry with me, so i wanted to be free of all expectations..it was liberating to feel NOT NEEDED...But my children and hubby used to keep tab on my travelling time, safety and everything..they will call me before I left, once in the middle of journey and then when I reached safely, they will be relieved..and I think somewhere deep inside me I liked that feeling of being cared:)..
Because today when children have become busy in their own world,they neither have time nor inclination to keep track that much, I miss that...
Its human tendency that what we get we dont like, but miss it when it is not there,( thank God my husband still keeps track of me, wherever I go).
Its called life cycle, where sometimes you like it if you are not needed, and sometimes you want to feel that you are needed