Anti Kpop-Fangirl

Happy 10th Anniversary!

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Wed, 26 May 2021 20:14:00 +0000

Time flies really fast, as the first AKF article was written ten years ago on April 12, 2011. I had a great five-year run with the site ending in 2016 and writing articles here and there every few years. I was a 20-year-old university student with too much time on my hands (was taking a bunch of general education and basic business courses) up until that point and wasn't taking any hard classes yet. I was also severely depressed and isolated, which I believe were the key ingredients of AKF being the way it was. Now at 30 living in a brand new city, working a fully-remote job that I love, having a great group of friends where I live, dating an amazing and beautiful woman that I love, and just living a much better life than I was a decade ago, there's no way I could return to writing with how my life is. In 2016 I was finally being serious in tackling my depression and the quality of my articles were going down, and when I tried writing again in 2017 and 2018 being in a much better mental state, I wasn't able to recapture the magic that I once had.

I still follow Kpop and love it, but the overall fandom has become more toxic over time to the point where I disassociate myself with fans. I just wanted to make one last post and share one more MS Paint picture with you all, whoever happens to randomly find this post four-and-a-half years later after the site was closed down.

RIP Sulli

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Thu, 17 Oct 2019 00:27:00 +0000

As most of you know, Sulli passed away earlier this week. When I first saw people tweeting about it, I had assumed people were trolling. Sulli had a lot of antis for the pettiest of reasons, so I had assumed a group of antis were fabricating an awful story just to get a rise out of people. However, I soon had learned that Sulli indeed was no longer in this world.

Sulli's suicide and Goo Hara's suicide attempt honestly piss me off. Not because these two wanted to end their lives, but because these attempts were due to the online world. People who constantly harassed Sulli and Hara over the smallest of things were a major role in why these two did what they did. When someone is in depression, that person needs people to reach out to them to help them. People behind their computer screens hiding behind the anonymity of online alias harassed these two day in and day out. The awful comments written by these people day in and day out gives a justification for someone with depression to end it. The negative thoughts are already dominating one's mind when one is in this state, and being blasted with hateful comment after hateful comment just fuels the negative energy storming inside of one's mind.

This is not just a Korean pop issue nor a Korean societal issue. It is human issue that affects every one of us. In our generation, we are all connected to each other all the time due to the technology that we have. People have all different types of social media accounts and are sharing things all the time and interacting with others. While we wish it was a perfect world where everyone got along online, we all know that is not the case. People post things hoping to get a positive reaction. I am guilty of this, as is everyone else. I post things to Instagram and Facebook to share the vacations I go on, hoping to receive validation from people in hoping they like the posts and comment on it. I may leave a funny tweet on Twitter or a funny comment on Reddit hoping for people to find it funny. I may text a friend something hoping to elicit a certain response, or text the woman I am seeing anticipating her texting me back.

However, with wanting good reactions, you will have people shitting on you just to fucking do it. It may not happen as much on Facebook or Instagram where it's usually just people that you know in real life, but on place such as Twitter and Reddit where we can hide behind an online handle, it is easy to hurl insults at each other. On news articles, especially Korean news articles, it is easy to leave comments. While there are many positive comments, there are just as many negative comments as well. There are a whole bunch of scummy people, such as NetizenBuzz, who thrive off of using negative comments to continue the circlejerk of even more negative comments being made. People may temporarily stop leaving negative comments, but within days the people who enjoy making negative comments will come back full force as if nothing had ever happened.

Do I wish human society and its internet culture to change? Sure I do. That's why I had stopped writing in 2016. Many of the posts here were satirical and I thought the shit was funny. Then I had assumed it was obvious to spot the honest and serious posts where we were not fucking around. However, many people cannot accept that people have more than one side to them and took the satirical posts as actual truth. No, I did not really want to kill myself after listening to EXO's "Wolf". Many of the posts here were overreactions done in a way to amuse myself, and hopefully many of the longtime readers of AKF, in depicting how bad I thought the song was. I did not actually think that "Suzy is a fat whore" or any of the other memes that came about through the blog posts and comments section. It was just a place for us to have fun and actually make jokes like this because so many other sites were so restrictive on what you could post. However, as I was getting treatment for my own depression, I had realized I was using this site as a bad gateway to relieve any negative feelings I had. It's easy to make the kind of posts I used to when I was miserable and ignoring my problems. That's why a lot of my posts in the second half of 2016 became so tame because as I got healthier, I realized I had to be more positive in life. I couldn't be making satirical posts making fun of people anymore, because to someone who is depressed, whether something is satirical or not, a negative message is still a negative message.

The negative messages that everyone leaves may seem harmless to the person who made the comment. Some make the comments just to relieve stress and try to take celebrities down a peg just because some people think celebrities have it good in every facet of life. Some may do it just because they are trolling and think it's funny, but mean no actual harm. However, the majority of the negative comments come from true feelings that people have about a person. Cyber bullying among the youth is becoming more and more common, and I keep seeing stories every year where a fucking kid who hasn't even had the time to enjoy life commit suicide because of the immense cyber bullying he or she received from his or her classmates. Imagine being a celebrity where a good chunk of your image comes from public perception of you. Celebrities see thousands of comments on every Instagram post they make. While many are positive, there are a lot of negative ones as well. We as humans tend to remember the negative comments and feelings more than the positive, and they linger around a lot longer than the positive feelings we get. Imagine getting thousands of hate comments all the time over the stupidest of things, such as Sulli not wearing a bra. I'm not a woman so I don't know what it's like to wear a bra, but many women have told me they are uncomfortable. Guys, imagine if we were forced to wear jock straps every day. I remember having to wear one for sports and gym class a few times. It's super uncomfortable on the balls. That's what I imagine what wearing a bra is like, but women have to wear them all day (at least at work/school), every day. I totally understand why Sulli wouldn't want to wear a bra if it's uncomfortable. However, to incessantly shit on her all the fucking time over something so minor is going to eat her up. She had people shitting on her for other things as well, and all of them were just as minor as the bra "issue".

This is why I am so mad about Sulli's passing. It should have never come to this if people weren't such assholes online. It's the same situation with Hara. I'm not saying that people should bottle up any types of criticism and only say positive things to each other. Then we would all be living in a bubble where no one would be ready for the harsh realities of life. However, take a step back and look at a big picture of everything. If you have the time to go online just to shit on someone, what the fuck does that say about you? Shouldn't you be trying to do something fun and exciting with your life? Or maybe you just need a night to relax and rest. Go fucking watch some Kpop MVs or some shit, I don't care.

Everyone just needs to do their part in making the cyber world a less shitty place.

Annyeong

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 20:30:00 +0000

A final goodbye from the AKF team as the 7-year curse hits us as well.

I have found out that over the past year that while I still like Kpop as much as I did the day I got into it 10 years ago, I have zero desire to write about it any longer. As much as that has happened since December when I reopened the blog, I thought about writing something but opted to do other things instead. Even as my favorite singer of all time released three MVs since Christmas, I still didn't want to write about anything. That was when I realized that I just needed to stop and let AKF rest in peace. The site had a good run, but once the owner of a site starts neglecting said site and posts infrequently, that is when I believe it is time for the site to go.

You see many old, broke boxers try to make a comeback just for it to not work out. This is simply the same thing. I wanted to give it one last chance, but with many of the changes in my life, that just means I spend a lot less time on the Internet. I don't follow the news and gossip, I just watch the MVs and whatever variety shows that have my favorites guesting. I don't go to forums any longer and r/kpop is cancer, so I don't see many of the stupid things fans say any longer. I know there's enough material to write about BTS stans until the end of time, and trust me, I know as I made an awful mistake in dating a Kpop fan who also happened to stan BTS, I know. I left many of the Kpop communities just because of how repressive they are. I know closing this site won't help alleviate that, but I have found out that being around less Kpop fans online makes it that much more fun to enjoy. Therefore my insulation from the rabid fans gives me a lot less to talk about.

I don't expect another site like this to ever show up for Kpop, or else someone would have it made it by now. This site has featured people from all races, all genders (even someone who identifies as a vibrator!), sexual orientations, political viewpoints, etc. We all came together to create at least one space in the Kpop media sphere where a diverse set of opinions could be shared in an entertaining fashion. I am happy with everyone who has helped AKF during its run.

Lastly, I will be turning off comments, but keeping the site open. I don't want the site to be overrun by spam comments, as I won't be moderating the comments to remove the spam.

MIKAMI YUA TO RE-RE-DEBUT AS A KOREAN POP IDOL

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 06:37:00 +0000

Ever since the dawn of KPop, people have wondered "What does this fine-ass chick look like naked?" People would poorly photoshop idol heads onto pornstar bodies, use machine learning to edit idol faces onto porn clips, make lewd gifs, find awkward upskirt angles, or even just use the ol' imagination to get a glimpse of the forbidden UNTIL NOW.

Ex-SKE 48 member and currently active JAV star Mikami Yua is apparently making her debut as a KPop idol in March, and I could not be more excited.

It's not like she has zero singing and dancing experience. After all, she's a former product of the ---48 Factory who debuted Momona Kito as in 2009 and spent about 5 years doing that until she "graduated" in 2014. After about a year contemplating life and figuring shit out, she re-debuted as

her real name Mikami Yua, JAV starlet. Of course, we all only know about her JAV career from a strictly academic perspective since none of us actually consume that pixellated objectification of women's bodies and misogeny and blahblahblah women's empowerment METOO feminists rule!!

But if you really wanted to partake, her WIKIPEDIA PAGE has a helpful table with release date, title name, and video ID code of her... videography.

Objectively speaking, her debut's P R O B A B L Y not going to flop because she's got a few things working in her favor:

she's got a dedicated fanbase already (She won the Best Newcomer Award in 2016 and the Best Actress award in 2017 from DMM Adult Awards, so not too shabby)
she's a decent singer
she's a decent dancer (WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL WHERE SHE'S POSTED DANCE COVERS OF HOT KPOP SINGLES LIKE TWICE'S KNOCK KNOCK OR GFRIEND'S LOVE WHISPER)
she's a decent actress (if she can fake an orgasm well enough to make it to the top, she's as good an actress as any)

I'm also reasonably confident your oppars (and maybe some of your unnirs) have jerked out a couple to her JAVs, so I'm sure they're more than happy to see her debut in Korea as a wholesome, family friendly, KPop act your ummas and ahjummahs will love to see busking on the streets. Of course, those stodgy netizens can pretend to be outraged and stupefied all they want but we all know they rubbed plenty out to her work.

1. [+105, -42] ㅋㅋ I wonder what agency she's under, how daring of them to debut an AV actress ㅋ I get that there's money in it but this just feels wrong. An AV actress in the Korean idol industry... that's going to make scandalous headlines

2. [+67, -32] Go Google her name Mikami Yua, all of her images are 19+ rated... I don't think it'll be any good for the Korean idol industry for someone like her to debut with them. She's going to be a negative influence.

3. [+56, -26] This is such a mess

4. [+79, -50] Can we please consider the negative effect this will have on our youth?

5. [+80, -53] Hul, this seems wrong;;; it might even create a catalyst of Korean female idols jumping into AV themselves with the mindset "well if she can do it, I can too"... this just seems crazy

6. [+36, -13] Never in my life did I think I'd see a Japanese AV actress as an idol on my TV, feels wrong

7. [+26, -8] What's the point of a Korean agency picking up someone that even the Japanese no longer want as an idol?

8. [+27, -10] The idol industry is going insane

9. [+22, -8] Idols are stars who are exposed to young children, why would you let an AV actress be one? Are you crazy?

10. [+15, -1] I don't think some of you understand how bad this is because she's an 'AV actress' but she's basically a porn star;;; gross

Let's not try to take any moral highground or play concern troll, or think of the children. Cmon people, if JYP and Twice can make a Japanese line work, pretty much any company can make a JAV idol work. The buzz sells, and the clicks practically click themselves here. It's a match made in heaven!! Anyone hating on this move honestly should just go stream one of her JAVs.

Why is she making a return to the idol world though? Who really knows. Like I said earlier, she trained and successfully debuted in SKE 48 but graduated after 5 years on the Japanese side of the pond. Maybe she just misses the theatre of it all. She IS in a Japanese idol group called the Ebisu Muscats, so she obviously likes being a musical artist/performer if she's going for her 3rd debut as one. It's definitely not for the money since she allegedly makes bank as a JAV starlet:

Adult video (AV) actress Yua Mikami is enjoying her career shift the idol industry to the porn trade, at least when it comes to her monthly pay, reports the Sankei Shimbun (Nov. 21).

In a variety program broadcast on TV Tokyo on November 11, Mikami, who formerly went by the name Momona Kito while as a member of all-girl pop group SKE48, said that her monthly income as an idol “was around that of an office lady or salaryman.” But since making her AV debut last year with “Princess Peach,” she makes enough “to buy a used two-bedroom apartment in [Tokyo’s] Setagaya Ward,” said the 23-year-old.

“Mikami is special in that she is from a girl’s group in which fans never have a chance to see the members nude,” says the source. “Her films always rank at the top of the charts, with her appearance fees not negotiated down.”

And we all know Korean idols don't make jackshit for money, especially as a rookie idol fresh off a debut. Maybe she's parlaying all this into media superstardom. Maybe she's trying to build a Kim Kardashian-esque empire off the back of her literal sex tapes.

It does remains to be seen which daring company took a chance with her, but I sure hope it's a big name one for maximum exposure and maximum funding. I want to see her tearing up the variety scene. I want to see awkward KPop boys come up to her and attempt to greet her before being unable to look her in the eyes knowing they bust a nut (or 10) to her at night. I want to see catty KPop girls try to flex on her, knowing she could not give less of a fuck about it after filming several gangbangs and having people jizz on her face for money. (Allegedly, I have not seen any such JAVs)

I SWEAR IF THEY TURN HER INTO ANOTHER EMPTY SUGARY-SWEET OPPAPOP CUTOUT, I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD!!

NO INNOCENT SCHOOLGIRL LOLITA MATERIAL.

ONLY WACKY COSPLAY ALLOWED.

WHOLESOME FAMILY FUN FOR ALL AGES!!

Follow her on Twitter @yua_mikami and Instagram @yua_mikami to stay up to date on her latest news!

I'm Actually Excited for The Unit's Girl Group

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Wed, 21 Feb 2018 08:00:00 +0000

I never watched the show, mainly due to a lack of time due to studying and work, and also used my free time to watch stuff I was more interested in, but in large part was that there were way too many fucking idols. I follow several Yebin fan accounts on Twitter, because of course Yebin is the most adorable idol of the current generation, even withstanding her short stint as a blonde-haired dyke.

Here is the listing for each final group.

Euijin has always been my favorite member of Sonamoo, but that has been a group that has really floundered. I liked their debut song, "Deja Vu," but after that the group has been basically doing jack shit. TS doesn't promote the remaining members of Secret any longer, so I figured they'd promote Sonamoo, but nope.

Good luck to these girls, and I hope they at least release one faptastic MV, but that's probably hoping for too much.

ESCAPE FROM SM ISLAND: How He Do It??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 07:41:00 +0000

For years, we've all assumed that crossing the SM Entertainment gang was almost practically a career death knell. Almost NO ONE left SM and lived to tell the tale. H.O.T. left SM in 2001 due to a contract dispute and where are they now? Donezo, forced to disband since then. JYJ (aka Jaejoong/Chuck, Yoochun, and Junsu) left in 2009 due to a contract dispute, blacklisted ever since. Hangeng left Super Junior in 2009, hasn't done shit since. Jessica left SNSD in 2014, and while she's pretty much her own woman now with BLANC & ECLARE, she may or may not be blacklisted from performing on the major music shows.

So how is it that Kris Wu managed to escape in 2014 and reach even greater heights than he did with EXO?

NOTE: Luhan definitely managed to escape too but since he's mostly big in China only (but he's HUGE in China, don't get me wrong), he only gets this small honorable mention.

Kris Wu poses with American smuggler after successful escape from
SM Island, 2014. Colorized.

Just a casual glance through his Wikipedia page post-EXO should wow you.

EXPAND

Those accomplishments blow anything and everything he did with EXO out of the water. Salty EXO-Ls may protest and whine and bitch as much as they want, but he DEFINITELY won the break up. He's been rubbing elbows with American pop-star royalty ever since!

As a not-so-small side note, I want to draw attention to the line:

In October 2017, Wu released a single titled "Deserve", featuring U.S rapper Travis Scott. Upon its release, "Deserve" placed No. 1 on the U.S. iTunes chart, making Wu the only Chinese artist to achieve the feat.[29]

So if Kris as a former KPop star hit No 1 on the US iTunes chart before any other past/present KPop act, does that mean we have to cancel literally everyone else since we don't let anyone ride on anyone else's coat tails for free? We should definitely retroactively scrub all instances of BTS's American promotions from the internet, and might as well write letters to all of the big American media corporations to make sure that no one else (INCLUDING those EXO guys) gets an undeserved boost from Kris's hard work.

At any rate, aside from his appearance in xXx: Return of Xander Cage (which was an interesting enough movie you can just turn your brain off to enjoy), I didn't really care about his success until he started appearing in my sports feeds. Now, everyone knows the public mainstream in America doesn't really give a shit about you unless you either a) release a hit song, b) star in a hit movie, or c) appear with other famous people. Somehow, Kris has managed to parlay b) and c) into more c)s, which further fuel his mainstream appeal. He's been named an NFL Super Bowl Ambassador, whatever the hell that means, but people cared enough to ask him what he thought was going to happen during the game!!

The man has even managed to appear in 3 back-to-back NBA All-Star weekends in the Celebrity Game.

Here he is in 2016, going up against Kevin Hart!

Here he is in 2017 with Nick Cannon!

And now look at him in 2018 chattin it up with Justin Bieber, probably shooting the shit about their mutually-shared experiences with batshit crazy fangirls who just won't leave them alone!

Why does this matter? Well, 1) I'm mostly envious of how much cool shit he gets for free and how much cool shit he gets to do (I wanna do NBA stuff too...), and 2) I think it's hilarious that Kris's success only affirms how shitty it is to be in trapped in KPop as more-or-less a slave for the duration of the contract. THIS is how a young person should parlay pop stardom into being able to do shit they actually care about. The money is a nice perk too.

BoA's Teasers for "One Shot, Two Shot" are Simply Amazing

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 00:09:00 +0000

If I was ever lucky enough to sleep with BoA, it would probably be two pumps, two shots for me, and I wouldn't even feel embarrassed.

Red Velvet - Bad Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 20:50:00 +0000

Red Velvet came back with "Bad Boy" a couple of weeks ago, and boy was it a pleasant surprise. Every time I had wanted to write an article about this song, I went to r/kpopfap instead and lookup up gifs from the live performances. This is definitely Red Velvet's most aesthetically pleasing concept yet.

If "The Perfect Velvet" showcased that Red Velvet's Velvet side can work if provided with the right songs, then "Bad Boy" shows that their Velvet title tracks can work if they promote a song that at least has a pulse to it unlike the rest of their Velvet title tracks to date. I generally don't care for R&B since it's just vocal wank material, but "Bad Boy" at least masks some of the inherent problems with R&B by having more parts moving during the song so that it doesn't make me fall asleep.

Plus, just visit r/kpopfap and look at the recent Red Velvet posts. If that's not a justification for the Velvet side, I don't know what is. I will always prefer their Red songs, but at least now I won't write off their Velvet songs before they even come out.

The Thirsty Koreaboo Guide to the 2018 Winter Olympics

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 05:01:00 +0000

As you all may or may not know, the 2018 Winter Olympics are being held at Pyeongchang, South Korea or the home of our favorite people in the whole wide world. Of course, as diehard fans of Korea~~n pop culture~~, we should all feel the distinct pride and honor of supporting our favorite athletes compete for gold and glory. However, the only Koreans we normally care about are the hunky namjas or hot yeoljas that perform on the stage, not the ice/snow/mountains. Who cares about figure skating or cross-country skiing outside of the every-4-year circlejerk Olympics? Does you even know anyone not-named-Kim-Yuna that is a winter Olympian?

That's why we at AKF have thoughtfully prepared a dossier to who's who at the Olympics for you to start stanning!

DISCLAIMER: Are any of these people going to win anything? Maybe not, with one exception.
Do you care? Not really.

TOP 3 OPPAS/HYUNGS TO ROOT FOR:

3. KIM MIN CHAN

Curling

VITAL STATS

DOB: 02/26/1987
HEIGHT: 5'8"
WEIGHT: 171 lbs

Look at this dude. He looks the typical guy next door, but you're going to be in for a surprise if you underestimate him. He's an Olympic curler so you know he's got the arm power to really rock your world, ladies. This man even has the connections to really take care of you so you can sit back and watch KPop Youtube videos all day. His father Kim Kyung-Du is vice president of the Korea Curing Federation, while his mother Yang Young-Sun serves as vice president of the Daegu Curling Federation in Republic of Korea. His sister Kim Min-Jung is the head coach of the women's national team at the 2018 Olympic Winter Games in Pyeongchang. The Korean men's team national coach, Jang Ban-Seok, is married to his sister Min-Jung. DAMN.

2. CHOI SEOU

Ski Jumping

VITAL STATS

DOB: 12/03/1982
HEIGHT: 5'4"
WEIGHT: 121 lbs

Zammmmm, zaddy. Get a load of this hunk. Older men age like wine and this dude is a FINE vintage. That chiseled jaw, that confident smirk -- why fuck with a young fuccboi that doesn't know what he's doing when you could get a ride with this seasoned MAN. You better believe he's a freak in the sheets. Did you know he had zero experience on skis when he went to Muju Ski Resort to learn, but accidentally participated in a ski jumping class because he thought it was a skiing lesson? And now this motherfucker is participating on the WORLD STAGE? ZAMMMMMMM. He may be married, but when has that ever stopped anyone? ;)

1. KWAK YOON GY

Short Track

VITAL STATS

DOB: 12/26/1989
HEIGHT: 5'2"
WEIGHT: 136 lbs

Our number one oppa may be participating in Short Track, but you can rest assured he's packin' serious heat where it counts. Perfectly coiffed hair is the mark of a man who knows his worth, baby. He's even got a real naughty side to him too -- in May 2010 he was banned from competition for three years by the Korea Skating Union as a result of his involvement in rigging the outcome of short track races. Along with national teammate Lee Jung-Su, he was punished by a special joint committee that comprised of members of the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism, the Korean Olympic Committee and the KSU. The pair later had their suspensions reduced to six months on appeal, so now he's back to fuck bitches and win a gold.

TOP 3 UNNIES/NOONAS TO ROOT FOR:

3. CHUNG JI HYE

Snowboarding

VITAL STATS

DOB: 02/20/1985
HEIGHT: 5'3"
WEIGHT: 119 lbs

This noona comes at ya on a snowboard so you know she knows how to ride a half-pipe. ;) Is she going to win anything? Probably not. But who cares when you're just a casual stan anyway.

2. KIM SEON YEONG

Curling

VITAL STATS

DOB: 05/18/1993
HEIGHT: 5'1"
WEIGHT: 121 lbs

Raise your hand if you know how curling is played. That's what I thought. Most of you will probably skip all the curling events like you will skip 80% of the winter events, but this chick is going to keep some discerning eyes tuned in. She may have the typical mousey girl-next-door look but you know she a freak if she curls for the Olympic team.

1. CHOI DA BIN

Figure Skating

VITAL STATS

DOB: 01/19/2000
HEIGHT: 5'1"
WEIGHT: 92 lbs

Move aside Suzy, the REAL NATION'S LITTLE SISTER is comin' through. After Kim Yuna basically stopped competing in the Olympics (bless her soul), it's up to this gal to carry the torch heh for Korean figure skating dreams. As probably the only person on this list with any chance at winning anything (she's at least the most famous one), she's got the chops to talk the talk and walk the walk too. She is the 2017 Asian Winter Games champion, a 5-time South Korean national medalist (three silver, two bronze). She has placed in the top ten at 2017 World Figure Skating Championships, 2017 Four Continents Figure Skating Championships, and twice (2014, 2015) at the World Junior Figure Skating Championships. She won two bronze medals during the 2015–16 ISU Junior Grand Prix series, in Austria and Latvia.

IS SHE A CLOSET SONE? THE GENIE-ERA OUTFIT IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY...

Get all of your 2018 Winter Olympic coverage HERE at AKF~

JK please don't.

Amanda Chou Advertises Bras for Swear

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 08:00:00 +0000

I don't have to write shit!

The Real Scandal Surrounding Sunmi's "Heroine"

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 20:00:00 +0000

Sunmi's "Heroine" came out over a week ago and there have been a million articles about the so-called plagiarism from some song in the West. I wouldn't know, as I have never listened to the other song (and have no plans to), and I don't know shit about music, so I wouldn't know if it was plagiarized or not. However, that is not the real scandal that every news outlet has ignored.

The Korean title, "juingong," is technically a gender-neutral word that means "protagonist". It can be translated to "hero" in reference to a man and to "heroine" when referencing a woman. But this is 2018, so this bitch cannot be using a gender-neutral word to only refer to women. Does it refer to only biological women, or to people who also identify as women?

The word "juingong" is composed of three Chinese characters: 主人公.

主 can mean "lord," "chief", and "master".

人 typically refers to a "person".

公 means "public" and "official".

Nowhere is gender ASSUMED within the characters. The character that means female is 女 and the character that means male is 男, but the gender-neutral character that refers to humans in general, 人, is used.

Sunmi is a sexist bigot confirmed!

r/kpop is Sexist, Racist, and Bigoted

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 01:19:00 +0000

Teasers for Red Velvet's repackage album came out today featuring Irene and Yeri. Just for my simple admiration of Irene's beauty, r/kpop banned me for five days. "Please site on my face, Irene." I will show you how this makes the mods of r/kpop extremely bigoted.

First, it is racist to ban a Korean from a Korean related subreddit. Westerners feel as if only what they think matters and ban Koreans from their subreddit.

Second, it is sexist, as I am a male, and male fans are a minority in the Kpop fandom. Female fans using their majority to stifle the opinions of any male fans.

Third, it is also sexist because they want to deny a woman receiving pleasure from oral sex. These mods are perpetuating that blowjobs are the only acceptable form of oral sex.

Fourth, they are bigoted because they are railing against a hetero-normative sexual relation between a biological male and a biological female.

Fifth, they are vibratorphobic. I sexually identify as Nayeon's Vibrator, and with Nayeon being friends with Irene, I'm sure Nayeon would share me with Irene. These homosapien normies are being bigoted towards someone like me who doesn't identify as a mere human. They are being sexist towards Irene, because maybe she'd like to pleasure herself with the latest model of a rabbit vibrator.

Besides, who wouldn't want Irene sitting on their face?

The No True Fan Fallacy or #NotAllFans

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 20 Jan 2018 21:26:00 +0000

As social media continues to grow and develop, it's become harder and harder for fandoms to keep their bullshit under wraps (not that it seems like they're particularly committed to trying). However, it almost seems like it's a game of oneupsmanship sometimes with rival fandoms practically challenging each other to do more and more over the top shit to their faves in the name of TRU FANDOM. After all, how are you going to say you love oppa the most if you don't shave your head, dress like a boy, barge your way into the men's restroom, take a pic with your oppas on the shitter, and then post it to the internet with your custom watermark as proof?? How can you really say you're a fan of your oppas if you're not willing to write them a letter with your menstrual blood and post the bloody ~~pad~~ inkwell as proof??

Morally Outraged Hipster Seohyun takes offense to any accusations that she is no REAL fan.

It's become all too common for fellow fans to dismiss such individuals as "lone wolves" who "don't represent the fandom as a whole" or have "mental illnesses" (Rhetoric sound familiar? It's pretty much the same as the rhetoric used to dismiss white domestic terrorists, but we won't get into that here.) as if to distance themselves from association with said people. Do you know what the MOST absolutely bullshit reason to use in this situation is though?

"Well, that's not a REAL fan."

-President of the REAL Fan Fanclub of X-Group

To begin dissecting why that's just hilarious bullshit, you need to know a few things about logical fallacies, specifically, the No True Scotsman.

From the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, we get the following:

NO TRUE SCOTSMAN

a kind of Ad Hoc Rescue of one's generalization in which the reasoner re-characterizes the situation solely in order to escape refutation of the generalization

In layman's terms, it's basically just changing the parameters of your original statement to make sure your statement is still true. For example:

Fan A: "ARMY is the best behaved fandom ever!!"

Random Observer B: "Didn't some BTS fans make the news the other day for rowdy behavior and disorderly conduct at a concert?

A: "Those girls weren't REAL ARMY/ARMYs/ARMIES/whateverthehellthepluralis!!"

or:

Fan C: "Man, VIPs are so great at respecting our oppas' privacy and personal space!"

Random Observer D: "Hey, didn't TOP put y'all on blast on Instagram for saesaengs ringing his damn doorbell every night, all night long?"

C: "Those must have been antis because everyone knows no TRUE VIP would do that kinda thing."

It's an easy thing to move the goalposts and deflect from any criticism by ostensibly distancing oneself from anything offensive or reflecting poorly on the group. Some SONE(s) get caught on camera surrounding and practically inserting themselves into unnie's personal space for e x c l u s i v e footage/selcas? NO TRUE SONE WOULD DO THAT. Oppa's hands get torn the fuck up because fans are getting too touchyfeely? NO TRUE FAN WOULD DO THAT. When "big" events like this happen, the fandom police (aka some random fan/fans who self-proclaims themselves to represent the fandom as a whole) usually get off their metaphorical asses and start crafting narratives/pictures/appeals to the fandom at large to get their shit together.

ARMYs, for the sake of #BTS' image,PLEASE do not send inappropriate comments to the accs RM tweeted to,esp if [...] pic.twitter.com/sd6K2nf28L
— ARMY Base (@bangtanitl) December 2, 2015

As you can see, it's all just pointless posturing, revisionism, or even delusion just to keep up a pretense of a "good fandom image." For what though? Bragging rights? Some kind of moral superiority? It's probably just a deep seated primal instinct for humans to be part of something bigger. It's a herd mentality for sure. For a lot of the people who find themselves part of this niche (and yes, KPop is definitely still niche despite all the efforts of Korea and pressed fans to make it otherwise) subculture, they fit the typical archetype of someone who lets fan culture completely take over their identity:

young, insecure, or otherwise in the process of developing their own identity
self-esteem issues
highly emotional
introverted
hormonal
possesses a lot of free time
access to disposable income (whether self-earned or parental or otherwise)

If that sounds like your typical teenager, then wow! It's amazing how that overlaps. No one has ever made that connection before in the history of sociological study and development.

These people have completely become mentally, emotionally, and often literally heavily invested in their fandom. Oftentimes, fandom is a form of escapism from their shitty personal lives or any perceived problems they may have in real life. Any attack on their fandom automatically becomes a personal attack. The kneejerk reaction to any personal attack? Defend yourself by all means. By extension, defend the herd by all means.

If someone doesn't like something you like, it's a personal indictment of your own taste in music and your own taste in music CAN'T POSSIBLY BE WRONG OR CRITICIZED EVER. Oppa can't be a bad singer because you think he's actually quite good and YOU HAVE FLAWLESS MUSICAL PITCH AND WHO DO THESE HATERS THINK THEY ARE, SOME KIND OF VOCAL EXPERT OR SOMETHING? Those dance moves are totally original and awe-inspiring because oppa spent OVER 1000000 HOURS SLAVING AWAY AT DESIGNING THE CHOREO AND PRACTICING IT OVER AND OVER, I BET YOU COULDN'T DO THOSE MOVES YOURSELF?

It's the human sociological equivalent of elephants circling their young to fend off predators.

Pictured: EXO-Ls huddling together to fend off angry haters, colorized.

How many times have you seen something as simple as "Man, I don't really like X-Group's latest song," escalate into a full-blown coordinated assassination of your mentions and inbox with slander like "Why can't you leave us alone" or "Why are your words so hurftul to me" or "Haha laugh the sadness of this deep personal attack on my interests away xD."

Again, if any of this sounds familiar to you and/or the first thing you think is, "Hey, #NOTALLFANS act like that!!" you're already in too deep. If you let other people's opinions on shit you like affect you in anyway, you're in too deep. If you need to make excuses for other internet strangers' behavior to avoid having those other internet strangers' behavior to not reflect poorly on yourself, you're in too deep. If you feel personally attacked by the meaningless interaction of highly upvoted/retweeted/liked oppositional (OPPAsitional hehe) commentary that differs from your own, you're in too deep.

ATTENTION. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with
fandumb, you may to be entitled to financial compensation.

So why does this all matter? Why should we care so much when a defensive fandom starts their NO TRUE FAN or #NOTALLFANS bullshit? Much like the #notallmen meme (and we're definitely not getting deep into that), it's problematic because:

It immediately derails the conversation. How many times has a discussion on why fandoms are shitty get completely blown off track because it devolves into a series of cherrypicked examples of shittiness vs non-shittiness? It's not about the quiet nobodies who keep their head down and play music videos on Youtube a few times a day, it's about the insane people in the fandom who are consistently coming up in the news for bad behavior.
It is not helpful at all. Obviously we know that the entire fandom is not LITERALLY all insane, delusional, and irrational individuals with deep-seated issues. Anyone with a brain and enough patience could probably find at least one person who's fairly normal and likes the group.

Instead of people identifying the bullshit and rightfully calling it out for what it is, we get stuck with these pointless fanwars and mounting escalations. No one gets to enjoy the groups when public appearances are cancelled due to bomb threats or when the security around idols get so paranoid they punch first and ask questions later.

However, I personally think the reason why this is all so pointless and stupid is because of one simple fact: The idols themselves have no way of knowing what kind of fan you are from a glance. You could be the most innocent, nice, sweet, unassuming person who is super respectful to your oppas, but no one could know for sure even if you wore a hat declaring the fact on your head. All these idols know about fans come from their personal interactions with them in person and online. When you're constantly bombarded in LITERALLY all 5 senses with obnoxious fans being extra, it's a little hard to stay unprejudiced against someone coming up to you out of nowhere. You don't know whether they just want to say hi, ask for a picture, or suddenly hug you and snip your hair for keepsakes. Idols quickly get jaded, numb, or even scared of their own fans when they have a history of bullshit shenanigans.

EXO Kyungsoo literally spooked by fans.

No amount of fandom policing or posturing can fix that.

Zaku's Top 50 Songs of 2017, #25 - 1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 05:11:00 +0000

I was slacking on finishing the rest of my list due to a combination of laziness, sickness, and work, but at least I finished right?!

Prevously: Top 50 - 26

Without further ado, here is the remainder of my top 50 list of 2017!

25. AOA - Excuse Me

Right from the start, ChoA's dreamy vocals draw you into this song and the equally dreamy synth progression keeps you there to hang on her every word. A pounding, insistent bass line combined with the "Ex-cuse~ me cuse me" provides maximum earwormy pleasure. You might call me crazy for rating this song so high despite the almost cringeworthy dubstep breakdown for Jimin's rap in the pentultimate buildup to the song's climax, but I think it's more of a testament to how really damn catchy this song ended up being even with that awful rap. ChoA definitely is a big part of that for me. It's going to be really damn hard to replace the impact she had on this group (some, including me, would say she carried the hell out of the vocals by herself).

24. CLC - Hobgoblin

I'm pretty sure CLC's look and vibe started off as some kind of cutesy oppa pop group to cash in on the wild success of trending groups like A-Pink or GFriend. Now that PoMinit is officially deadinski ~~and Cube still has a ton of their unreleased material left~~, CLC is officially re-lighting the torch and carrying on in their forebears' stead. They've got all of the pieces that made the original Pominit great: borderline trashy streetwear fits, gritty electronic instrumentals, and a nasally rapper who may or may not be stealing Hyuna vibes. The reinvention WORKS goddamn it, and CLC may as well be a newer, better version of themselves.

23. GFriend - Fingertip

Speaking of re-invention, I'm honestly just as surprised as you are to find a GFriend song so high. Previously, I thought they were just your run of the mill cookiecutter oppa pop group, but wow did they really turn things around in my eyes. A real gem of an instrumental track backs up this genuinely song that shows off a far more interesting side of GFriend than previously shown. It's a slowed down eurobeat-inspired feel that definitely sounds a lot fresher than their usual fare. I really sincerely hope they have turned the corner on this oppa pop stuff.

22. Wanna One - Energetic

Wanna One is a fresh debut formed from that Produce 101 (102?) stuff, something that initially gave me pause. How good could a group formed from the collective desperation of young boys to make it big through a reality elimination TV show really be? The answer is: surprisingly good. With a nice little blend of trop house vibes and some more funkadelic synth, the song bops along at a nice little clip. The vocals shine clearly and cleanly, which makes the song even more of a summer jam.

21. Hello Venus - Mysterious

I didn't think I would enjoy HELLO VENUS's "Mysterious" as much as I did, but it's a surprisingly earwormy track on multiple levels. The "Mysterious mysterious~ So curious, so curious" hook is bright and catchy, and the whistled aural hook is very very easy to bop to. The rest of the electro-swingey instrumental is fun to listen to as well.

20. VIXX - Shangri La

I am 1000% here for any KPop group that tries to incorporate fresh sounds and stand out from the pack. VIXX does this with the gorgeous stylings of Shangri La. Like taking a portal from the frozen wastelands of tired trends, this song takes you on a smooth journey with futurebass a la Flume, Odesza, or even Marshmello. The instrumental is intricately layered with synth, quirky little vocal effects, and very East Asian string movements. The chorus here is especially effective, not because it's some crazy earwormy gimmick, but it carries enough punch to satisfy you from the pre-chorus buildups but not in an overwhelming way that ruins the softer aesthetic of the piece as a whole. Please, sweet heavenly KPop gods, please let futurebass be a thing in the future. Side note, fan dances for men are HOT fire. Traditional gender norms say what?

19. UP10TION - Going Crazy

If you, like me, were missing Infinite ~~(comeback WHEN?)~~ before they officially returned in 2018 here, UP10TION filled that void in a big way. With very similar vibes and aesthetics, Going Crazy is a slick track that carries itself well from start to finish. From the first few slow-jam-ish notes, the song picks up steam and keeps on trucking all the rest of the way through.

18. EXID - DDD

To be honest, the only two songs I know from EXID are 1) their meteoric rise to fame hit Up & Down and 2) the followup ~~remix~~ Ah Yeah. A quick read of their Wikipedia article to catch up on what they've done since (pretty much nothing, Hot Pink kinda sucked, Lie was meh, and the Chinese tracks were bland) had me ready for this new track to wow. Their other track in 2017 sure sucked, but DDD is a return to form for them. With big bass and help from a sampling of Missy Elliott‘s “WTF“, the song's instrumental is real catchy. LE's rapping is a pleasure as always, and the various parts of the song flow well together even though they could have easily been different vibes and different songs altogether. As an aside, should this song be DDDD or Dur Dur Dur Dur?

17. MiSO - KKPP

Honestly speaking, I literally had no clue who MiSO was or where she came from before doing this deep dive, but I am really glad I took the time to give some nugus a chance. Apparently, she is a member of Girls Girls, but from what they've released so far, she seems way better off on her own. "KKPP" is a goddamn banger of the highest quality. With one of the hardest hitting instrumentals of this list, the song feels like a fist full of pussypoppin, bootyshaking, rambunctious fun to the face. MiSO definitely has HyunA vibes all over the track but that is definitely not a bad thing here. Off topic side bar: does she look a lot like Heize to anyone else??

16. Yezi - Anck Su Namun

Jesus Christ does this song slap. Yezi's had a damn solid track record so far with some really hard hitting stuff so far, but Anck Su Namum really takes the cake here. An Egyptian aesthetic combined with some DJ SNAKE/Major Lazer trap beats is an extremely compelling combo, and Yezi's rapping kills it as usual. Literally summoning The Mummy vibes here, the progression of the track is complex and never quite repeats itself the same way through. FRESH TO DEATH, JUST SLAY ME QUEEN.

15. CNBlue - Between Us

Taking a more EDM-ey feel to their song than their usual pop rock, CN Blue mixes things up in a pretty interesting way. Opening with a blare of electro and sick drops, you'd think this song was from a different group entirely if it wasn't for Yonghwa's vocals. Then you'd think this song was more of a ballad CN Blue would usually put out as B-side filler, but the bridge kicks things into a gear I found way more fun to listen to and Yonghwa doesn't take his foot off the pedal. I kinda wish Jonghyun took a more prominent role in their big title tracks as his voice sounds just as silky smooth as ever, but I guess the Yong sells more.

14. Super Junior - Black Suit

The last time Super Junior was relevant to me was probably Bonamana (or Sorry Sorry 2.0.). Despite being in contention for the best male Kpop group and with almost the most insane fandom ever in ELFs, they kind of fell off a cliff for me ever since. It does this old head a world of good seeing them return to form with "Black Suit." First things first, I cannot praise the big swing instrumental enough. The brassy notes absolutely slap hard, and a pounding electronic undercurrent really makes the song what it is. The chorus is one of the most fun bits of music in KPop this year, and thought the rest of the song is not quite at that level, it just makes the chorus stand out that much more.

13. Teen Top - Love Is

Probably one of the more underrated gems I found in the process of putting together this list, Teen Top's "Love Is" is a real jam thanks to its strong vocal performance from Niel and a pounding electronic/piano beat. I've always been a fan of the Daishi Dance-esque production style, and though "Love Is" skews toward a harder electro than that kind of music, it's still a fresh sound. Niel's solo debut probably gave him the stones to take over the group in a big way, and the song feels dominated by his vocals. That's not necessarily a bad thing, especially since he has the power and range to pull it off. With falsettos and strong vocal runs galore, he really puts the team on his back for this one.

12. Seventeen - Clap

The first time I saw or heard of Seventeen, I thought they were going to be a shitty gimmick band with nothing really to make them stand out. For the longest time, that was the case. But with the release of some strong title tracks this year, they've proven they should be a group that is worth paying attention to. Right off the bat, "Clap" and its bombastic pop rock instrumental is a treat to listen to. Anthemic in all the right ways, the song blares pure fun and replayability from every pore.

11. Giriboy - The Graduate

Giriboy's "The Graduate" stands out from the rest of his vocalist/rapper collab buddies because of the way the vocals and the rap blend well together. All too often it feels like the song would be better off as one or the other, but Giriboy's flow and the vocals mesh on both a lyrical and aural level. The futurebass instrumentals (think Flume or Odesza) lend everything a spacey feel that I hope sparks a fresh trend with instrumental styles in the future.

10. A.C.E. - Callin'

You THOUGHT by the way this song opened up that it would be just another run of the mill trop house banger, but NOPE. There's a hint of things to come when the bridge starts, a series of escalating synths that eventually crescendos into the chorus. And what a chorus it is. A.C.E. blows the lid off your previous theory by diving into one of the fastest BPM bops this side of the musical spectrum. I've never seen or heard of anyone doing hardstyle in KPop, so A.C.E. has to be the first and only ones so far. It's a fresh angle of EDM from the kind everyone else is doing so I'm hyped for them. Cactus from them is also a pretty damn good song if you want more from them now.

9. Epik High - Love Story

It feels like an eternity ago, but Epik High's last album was only 3 years ago with Shoebox releasing in 2014. In the pop world (and especially for KPop) it may very well have been an eternity, but the wait was well worth it for the next album in We've Done Something Wonderful. I absolutely adore the title track "Love Story" most of all. Maybe it's just me being really into this style of music lately, but the lo-fi hip hop instrumental really is an amazing aural treat. IU really elevates this song to the next level with her dreamy vocals.

8. KARD - You in Me

After literally every other co-ed KPop group flopped like hell, I didn't really expect KARD to do as well as they did. They've shown some real staying power thanks to strong title tracks, and "You in Me" is definitely one of their best showings to date. With one of the best trop house styled tracks of the year, "You in Me" is a sultry little mid-tempo that hits all the right notes for a summer jam. My prayers were finally answered after all this time of screaming "FREE SOMIN" to literally everyone.

7. BTS - DNA

It's almost scary to include any BTS song anywhere these days because it seems like the batshit ARMY army is ever present to screech about their oppa's superiority, but "DNA" is a strong showing that deserves recognition. A fresh fusion of acoustic guitar and some trop house motifs makes DNA a lot more unique than most of the summer-themed songs released this year. The bridge does a good job of building up the song to its chorus which REALLY kills it by veering off into a more future step direction rather than fall into the same trop house tropes as the rest of their contemporaries.

6. BLACKPINK - As If It's Your Last

Now that 2NE1 is officially dead, BLACKPINK is poised to snatch everything that 2NE1 once did or stood for, and "As If Your Last" is probably one of the best examples to illustrate that with. The main vocalist has a very Park Bom-esque timbre, the rapper sounds a little like CL, and the instrumentals sound straight off the To Anyone album. That isn't to say BLACKPINK is a complete knockoff or derivative of 2NE1. No, in fact, I'd argue that they're a distillation of what made that early 2NE1 sound so great -- fun electronic tracks that were a complete repudiation of the boring oppa pop bubblegum stuff all of the girl groups were doing at the time. This sound is what 2NE1 could have been today had they not imploded and/or sucked up so much of the tryhard sweggity swag image their fans put on them.

5. LOOΠΔ/Kim Lip - Eclipse

Like several other groups on this chart, it was hard to narrow down just one track from LOONA I liked the best. Although they haven't officially debuted yet, their series of pre-release solo-ish tracks were all mostly good. Kim Lip's is the best of the bunch thanks to what I thought was a fresh set of vocals and instrumentals. I can't say it enough, but in a world of extremely derivative pop songs, anything that deviates from the common trends is already a plus in my book. Kim Lip's "Eclipse" is a nifty little mid-tempo that is built on a synthwave instrumental that enhances the dreamy airy quality of her vocals in the best of ways.

4. BoA - Camo

For fear of sounding like an edgy old head, I sometimes feel like younger KPop fans these days don't really have an appreciation for the older generation of idols. With a lot of the revival groups sounding pretty crusty, it would be easy to think all that shit back then sucked ass. BoA is here to show you young bloods the way things are supposed to be. The Original Unnie's "Camo" song is an absolutely sultry and sexy track that really should be the blueprint for "mature, sophisticated" concepts. An understated instrumental that is almost entirely comprised of a throbbing, industrial bassline sets a minimalist stage for BoA's vocals to shine through. And boy do they shine -- a unique point of the song is that there aren't really any aural bells and whistles here. No rapping or embellishing vocal runs, just even-keeled singing all throughout. You'd think that'd be boring, but like the insistent bass, the song just pushes through into your brain the way it wants to.

3. Sunmi - Gashina

Of all the people I thought would have had a successful solo career post-Wonder Girls, Sunmi was probably the last one I would have guessed. After sweeping the charts and hearts of fans everywhere and inspiring a legion of copycat soloists jacking her sound (24 Hours era), Sunmi is poised to strike gold again with "Gashina." For all the complaints that Teddy gets, he proves that he still has the chops to make good shit when he actually cares. The instrumental takes the best of the summer trop house trends and turns it into a banger in all the best ways. The chorus slaps like no other and Sunmi's vocals ring through bright and clean throughout. The bridge and pre-chorus build up is one of my favorite parts of the whole song, and the way that it sets up the chorus so well is well worth the brief moments of empty silence used for anticipation. The MV is also FUCKING ICONIC.

2. Dream Catcher - Good Night

It was really fucking hard to choose a song I liked best from Dreamcatcher because almost all of the stuff they released in the year was amazing. Ultimately I had to go with "Good Night" because it is absolutely the cream of the crop. With a darker, edgier vibe than most (read: 99%) other girl groups in the biz today, Dreamcatcher kicks the shit out of all other challengers with a hardhitting rock track with a very J-rock feel. It would not sound out of place if it was used as an anime opening theme, and that should definitely not be a knock against it. My only gripe is that I wished it was longer so I could have listened to it for longer. Clocking in at a brisk 2:52, the track certainly does not drag or feel like it was long at all.

1. WINNER - Really Really

With a song that pretty much dominated the airwaves since its release, WINNER's Really Really is both an encapsulation of the year's trends and a glorious perfection of them. Trop house fever infected KPop's boy bands since as far back as Fall 2016 (BTS's Blood Sweat Tears, unless someone can find something earlier) and it's been a part of 2017 ever since. However, when I say Winner perfects the trop house formula that's given a lot of groups success so far, it's because they did it with such pure fun and joy that's probably unrivaled by any other song in this list. Their follow up song Island was similarly fun, and it was a tough choice between them. What gives Really Really the edge is a bombastic chorus that's both catchy and anthemic. The bass booms, the trop trops, and everything just clicks.

My favorite part is probably the build up to the chorus where everything builds up to what you think is a huge drop before everything cuts out to silence. All is quiet for one beat, two beats, then -- "neol joahae" slams the instrumental home. The delayed satisfaction just makes the chorus's anthemic qualities all that much better.

There are Better Ways to Support Your Oppa than YouTube Views

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 15:00:00 +0000

Many Kpop fans have been fingering their clits over how much YouTube views their favorite groups garner in a stated period of time. For example, every week Soompi has an article or seven about which Twice MV reached a certain milestone for views. Many fans brag about how viewing the MV a lot will benefit their oppas and unnies. Me being an accountant, I will show you why many of these fans are wasting their time.

As you see in the image above, for every 1,000,000 views, a video generates $2,000. YouTube takes a 45% cut, leaving the original content creator with 55% of the total revenue.

So if we divide that $2,000 by 1,000,000 views, and then multiply that number by the 55% the uploader keeps, that's $0.0011 per view. That means you have to watch a video 10 times before the uploader earns ONE FUCKING PENNY.

Now, let's say you want to support your favorite group enough to buy the best Kpop album of 2017. We will ignore shipping and sales tax for this example. This album costs $19.99. You would have to watch a video 18,173 times in order for the uploader to earn the $19.99 that the album is worth. ($19.99 divided by the $0.0011 per view.)

For example, we will use Red Velvet's "Peekaboo" music video. That is 3 minutes and 49 seconds, or in total, 229 seconds. If you multiply 229 times 18,173, then divided by 60 to get to minutes, and then 60 again to get to hours, you end up with 1,156 hours of watching "Peekaboo" for SM to earn the $19.99 that "The Perfect Velvet" album sells for.

Now let's say the fan is at least 16 years old and is old enough to walk down the street to get an entry-level job. The federal minimum wage in the U.S. is $7.25. Payroll taxes are 7.65%, so after payroll taxes are taken out, an entry-level worker in the U.S. makes $6.76 per hour. We ignore income taxes because an entry-level worker does not pay income tax. It is taken out of their paychecks each period, but when they file their return, they get all of it back when they receive their refund. (We could argue that since the taxpayer is effectively loaning their money to the government for free for a year, they are losing money due to the time value of money. However, with interest rates being low, the time period being small, and the small amount of money a 16-year-old makes working part-time, the effect would be negligible.)

So, let's take that $19.99 divided by that $6.76. That is three hours. So there you go kids, you can flip burgers at McDonald's while learning some skills that will help you get a better job after you either graduate from university or find a better job, or you can spazz on Twitter about how you watched an MV 18,173 times to help your oppas and unnies.

The Beginning of Twice's Downfall

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 00:14:00 +0000

I have been dreading this day since Twice blew up with "Cheer Up" in 2016. By having three ~~really fucking hot~~ Japanese members, it didn't take a genius to know that Twice would eventually have Japanese promotions. However, Twice really blew up, and quickly became Korea's national girl group in 2016 with the releases of "Cheer Up" and "TT". Japanese promotions were imminent, and the results so far are worse than I expected.

Japan cannot do bubblegum pop worth a fucking shit. You either get the anime-opening songs (which I liked as a teenager, but not now), or the shit that panders to your little sibling who is in first grade, or those creepy old guys who love this shit. There is really no in between for Jpop when they try this shit. This is the same garbage that panders to the people who like the 48/46 groups who have been ruining Jpop even more for the past decade. There is good Jpop out there, but you have to dig through so much shit, and the majority of the shit is the shit Twice is releasing in Japan.

I love Twice, but there's no way I'm going to happy about seeing these girls spend the next five years focusing on Japan and probably giving us three Korean comebacks in that time frame, because history tends to repeat itself. After BoA, DBSK, SNSD, and Kara became popular in Japan, that's where 90% of their focus goes. It makes sense from a business standpoint since Japan is the world's second largest music market and music groups have a short shelf life, but just expect more and more shit like this from Twice until the group disbands.

Ivy Shao

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 00:54:00 +0000

These days I've been busy watching "The Perfect Match," which stars Ivy Shao. I discovered her in the 2016 drama "Back to 1989". I posted about her two years ago here, but I didn't do her justice.

She is my new Taiwanese waifu, so everyone needs to back the fuck off.

Zaku's Top 50 Songs of 2017, #50 - 26

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Jan 2018 11:01:00 +0000

It's been a long time since I've actively sought out KPop songs to listen to, so you'll have to excuse me for taking a while to get back into the true swing of things. I think I've done an admirable job digesting over a year's worth of content over the span of the last couple of days. That said, there's probably huge gaping holes in my Kpop knowledge still but what's new TBH...?

Without further ado, here's my look back on 2017.

HONORABLE MENTION: T-ara - What's My Name?

First things first, let's pour one out for all the homies of yesteryear who won't be joining us in 2018. Sad to say that includes 6-ara. From the legends who were once in position to overtake SNSD as the Nation's Top Girl Group to this sad state of affairs, it's quite the journey they've been on. Almost accordingly, their song feels like a similar journey. The slower verses and bridges are reminiscent of their debut sound where the more vibrant and interesting chorus, hints of the year's favorite trop house vibes included (more on this throughout the list), feel more at home with the bigger bolder electronic sounds that catapaulted them into the mainstream stardom they enjoyed at their peak.

Very fitting considering the story their MV follows. An imperfect song to be sure, but one filled with feels nonetheless.

HONORABLE MENTION: Seohyun - Don't Say No

I would be a shitty Seohyun fan if I didn't even make an effort to include her solo debut in this list somewhere. Taking cues from disco vibes and fusing that with a sultry RnB jam, Seohyun bursts into solodom with the maturity and sophistication I've been screaming she had from the top of my lungs for years. She really gets an opportunity to flex her vocal power and range here, which may or may not surprise long-time fans since she's been in the top three of SNSD vocalists for a while.

50. SNSD - Holiday

It almost feels like blasphemy to rate an SNSD song this low but the former Nation's Top Girl Group just hasn't been the same in ages. Still, after several boring (or even outright bad songs), Holiday is definitely a step in the right direction. There are those who might burn me alive for preferring this title track to "All Night" but I feel like the more summery feels of Holiday were a more fun effort from them. Holiday hits all the right notes for, well, a holiday with the big-stage feel of the chorus to the light upbeat instrumental. I think it deserves a place here for being a summer song that doesn't dive into any of the trop house fever everyone else seems to have caught.

PLUS Seohyun wrote this, so suck it.

49. iKON - B-Day

Even by YG standards, the way iKON gets treated by the company ~~and the victim complex of their fans~~ makes them feel like an afterthought. Not quite ugly stepchild level but more like forgotten middle child. Along the same metaphor, B-Day starts off slow with guitar riffs but begins to builds up deliciously during the pre-chorus bridge, then blasts the hell off for the chorus. At first I wasn't quite sure how to feel about it, but the more I listen to it, the more I find myself grooving to the surprisingly catchy sample of Owen Wilson's Wow. Plus anyone serving up goddamn BEE MOVIE LOOKS absolutely deserves mention here.

48. Taemin - Move

I'll be the first to confess I'm not much of a Shamwow fan since I only really followed SHINee to make fun of their rabidly thirsty and borderline insane fanbase (BTS Army or Armies or whatever the hell they call themselves really owe a lot of their delu-lu to their ideological forebears but you'll never hear them admit it outloud). I didn't really care much for his previous solo efforts, mostly due to the circlejerking of his fanbase (sorry Taemin), but after my long hiatus from KPop I had no choice but to deep-dive back into the thick of things and listen to everything.

I was very pleasantly surprised by his latest work. Gotta confess, I almost turned off the track because it opened as a tryhard ballad but when the electronic beat kicked in with Taemin's first snap, my attention was piqued. I was absolutely enthralled by the sultry mid-tempo deep synth. Very darkwave/futurewave-ey feel.

47. Brave Girls - Rollin'

I can't remember when the last time I checked for Brave Girls was, but it was probably never. I distinctly remember thinking how shitty it was for Brave Brothers' own girl group to have such shitty songs (at least from a cursory glance through their discography), so thankfully Rollin' is a vast departure from that crappy oppa-pop they were doing before.

This is a more "mature" sound from them (with the more sultry choreography to go with it) that hits all the trendy trop-house notes KPop has found itself in love with these days but in a more subdued way that isn't quite as in your face about it. The chorus is definitely anthemic and something you can easily find yourself singing along to at the top of your lungs in an off-key screech.

46. April - Mayday

April was a group I distinctly remember as firmly in the tired oppa-pop sound I tuned out of when I was still following KPop, especially after the only member I knew (Somin) left. While Mayday isn't quite the 180° turn away from oppa-pop other girlgroups have successfully made, it's definitely an interesting pivot made using a fun electronic instrumental and some much more interesting build-ups and chord progressions. It's light and sweet without being too saccharine, and the chorus is a ton of fun to listen to.

45. IU - Palette

Long time readers will know how distinctly unfond of slower ballads and similar types of songs I am, so I'm just as surprised as you are how much I found myself enjoying Palette. A simple backing track lays a clean palette (heh) for IU's airy vocals to shine here, until it picks up the pace more towards the chorus which hits all of my existential crises at once. All same-age chingus at 25 can definitely relate, and I found myself sobbin' like an entitled millennial when IU started to croon "I got this, I'm 25" at me. G-Dragon is also a surprisingly good fit for the track by keeping it nice, simple, and more lyrical like he excels at instead of the swaggy bombast his fans eat up and his critics loathe.

44. Akdong Musician - Dinosaur

Of all people to come out with a summer bop this year, I was least of all expecting it from Akdong Musician. The quirky sibling duo takes a very interesting detour from their usual coffeehouse-ish sound and indie vibes for a more mainstream crossover in Dinosaur. Sure, they did choose to use some trop-house beats here, but they take a very unique spin on it by opting to use SuHyun's vocals in place of the usual electronic trills you'd normally hear in a summer bop like this. The oo-oooh~s hit all the right notes.

43. Got7 - Never Ever

In a ~~summer~~ year dominated by trop house title tracks, anyone that deviates from that in any way is like a breath of fresh air. Got7 opt for a more softer RnB feel in their verses that builds up into a more bombastic electronic synth-laden chorus. The typically clean JYP production values are in full swing here as ever. All in all, a very solid outing for Got7.

42. Zico - Artist

I was very ready to write off this song solely for the fact that the MV opens up with this meme-laden "outfit" from hell, but thankfully I've been either inoculated to the worst of swagfag excesses (please don't try to breed the supervirus equivalent of a swagfag) or my professional demeanor protects me from reacting too negatively.

In any case, this song uses some sleek funky beats to keep your attention through all the questionable fashion and hair choices made by Zico in the MV. Zico's flow is a rollercoaster of fun and the simple hook is earwormy in the best of ways. Zico's sung bridges are very nice too.

41. PSY - Love

Psy's been the king of meme songs ever since Gangnam Style rocked the world, so it's easy to forget there's more musicality to him if you've not been familiar with his music before supermemestardom. Love is one of those feel-good summer anthems you just can't help but bop to. Buoyed by the omnipresent trop house instrumental, Psy crafts a simple yet very effective tune. Taeyang also lends his vocals to the bridge and harmonizes with Psy during the chorus, a more than welcome addition to the track that definitely elevates the song to the next level.

40. gugudan - A Girl Like Me

I almost sound like a broken record here, but I just have to repeat again how much I dislike oppa-pop (and it's male equivalent, noona-pop). It's cheap, lazy music that's as empty and unpleasant as eating a big cloud of cotton candy for dinner. Literally anyone could do it, and the success of the genre rests on the collective virgin/lolita complexes of the world. But not explicitly of course.

gugudan feels like proof of my theory that girl groups are way better when they ditch that trash and go for literally any other concept. These girls debuted last year as part of the Produce 101 shit in 2016 with a color-by-numbers oppa pop song that sucked, and now here they are in my Top 50! (Please allow me to entertain the fantasy that my opinion means anything.) A Girl Like Me is a more sophisticated sound from them that uses more a more exciting uptempo electronic beat (without TROP HOUSE BTW) to still get that oppa-poppish message across to avoid completely alienating the fanbase that's gotten them this far.

39. Twice - Knock Knock

After that little rant on the evils of oppa pop, it must seem hypocritical of me to include Twice's Knock Knock let alone rank it at 38. HOWEVER, I have to say the JYP production (I miss the JYP Whisper...) is more of bubblegum poprock than oppa pop. There are those who might call it semantics, but I still think there's a significant difference.

At any rate, it's an upbeat and fun little track that gives you the best of brainless aegyo stuff without giving you the cancer that is oppa pop. The chorus is probably the most fun I've had with a bubblegum pop track in a while.

38. Red Velvet - Peek a Boo

Few things are more attention grabbing than when an MV opens with your group literally standing on a porch with a crossbow. Luckily the song is just as good as the MV promises.

Although there are hints of some by-now familiar tropical tropes in the instrumental, a pounding bass and a strangely intriguing whistle makes it more memorable and easy to listen to. It feels like each part of the song differs enough from the typical song structure in ways that make this song stand up to repeated listen. "Peek-a-peek-a-boo" is also one hell of an earworm (Pikachu say what?).

37. Sonamoo - I Think I Love U

I'm always a sucker for songs that stand out in unique ways and I Think I Love U certainly does that with its use of a fun, upbeat instrumental that uses some interesting guitar riffs to turn Sonamoo's direction away from basic oppa pop to some lighter bubblegum stuff instead. Like I said about Twice's Knock Knock, oppa pop is the devil and bubblegum pop is much more fun and aurally interesting.

36. BAP - Wake Me Up

I'm a sucker for strong beats and simple production, and BAP's Wake Me Up definitely delivers in that regard. I remembered them as some horrible swaggety hip hop group in years past, so to see them come out with a track like this is a pleasant surprise. The vocals flow without pretense and the raps are serviceable enough to keep your attention without jarring you out of the nice groove the rest of the song puts you in.

35. Juniel - Last Carnival

Juniel is one of those gals that deserve more attention from an international audience for being the whole solo package of being hot and being able to sing well, but she's been kind of pigeonholed as some kind of indie coffeehouse ballad-ey guitar girl until now. Adopting a sizzling hot straight bang cut and some smoky-eye, Juniel breaks out of that tired rut and adopts an edgier look and sound for your pleasure.

That isn't to say that she completely ditches her original vibes. A funky fresh beat with a slick bass guitar line holds your attention for her soft crooning to take center stage. It's the best of her vocal prowess with a much more interesting instrumental. The end result is a FAR more compelling release than literally anything else she's done so far.

34. Heize - Don't Know You

I'll admit, the biggest reason I know/check for Heize is because of her stint on Unpretty Rapstar. Hipster hip hop enthusiasts probably will scream in agony at my disgusting mainstream attention, but the show proved she's both not unpretty nor a rap star. That isn't to say she's a hopeless artist. Unlike some of her showmates (COUGH TRUEDY COUGH), she's managed to carve out a following due to some strong vocal pipes.

Like another of her showmates, Heize can rap and sing competently enough, but unlike that same showmate, a combination of great production and an awareness of what works for her has buoyed her post-show success (suck on that, Jessi). Don't Know You is a nice mid-tempo jam with admittedly less rapping and more singing, but Heize pulls it off well. Definitely coffeehouse vibes here, but the raps keep it from getting stale. It's like a one-woman version of the vocalist+rapper on a mellow lo-fi beat combo that was unfortunately too popular for a while, but Heize makes it work since it's her voice the whole time that blends more easily as a result.

33. Loco - Too Much

As another mellow lo-fi hip hop track, Loco stands out due to a slick combination of producer Gray's jazzy beats, a surprisingly good singing voice and sleek flow from the main rapper himself, and the amazing feature of young phenom Dean. Dean doesn't overwhelm the track by singing a verse by himself. He integrates himself into some lower key vocal runs and harmonizations in the bridges and choruses leading up to his part. He even raps a bar or two before really getting into his sung lines.

Featuring vocalists on rap tracks would do well to follow this lead.

32. B.I.G - HELLO HELLO

Okay, I literally had no idea that these B.I.G. fellas were a thing until literally a few weeks ago and I was pretty shocked to see that they had released 5 other singles before this one. Raise your hand if you knew they've been around since goddamn 2014. Interestingly enough, they debuted with "Hello" which was a completely and irredeemably garbage song only thinly disguised as either a Korea #1 circlejerk or tourism promotional song.

The second time around, the aptly named "Hello Hello" (aka Hello 2.0) is a vastly superior song to the point where you might even think they were released by two different groups. The pounding beat slaps the HELL out of your skeptical mind and grips its attention all the way through. You might think this is going to be a hardcore rap banger but this is actually a really goddamn good mid-tempo mostly-vocal song instead of the other way around. The rap is nothing to tweet about but certainly not jarring or horrible enough to ruin the vibe here. Did I mention how much I like the instrumental for this song?

31. HyunA - Babe

Hyuna's reached an interesting point in her career where we've got a pretty good grasp of her capability as an artist in both a performance sense and in a conceptual sense. There is definitely room to argue that she's captured the attention of the nation primarily as a sensual suck-your-dick off vixen with big bombastic anthems, but I think she's managed to show off a different side of her with "Babe."

The song has some interesting fake-outs with trop house vibes in the verses and other parts of the song, but it's really the marimba instrumental and softer vocal quality that holds your attention more. The chorus especially feels like it's about to build itself up into a fully trop-housey banger, but it jukes and goes in a far more interesting direction with the synth I think you'll all enjoy more. Not sure if this is the right place to note this but I have to say the new wave of female idol rappers emulate one of two schools of rap: the nasally Hyuna style or the try-hard-to-be-hard CL style. ICONIC.

30. Block B - Shall We Dance

I feel like it's breaking my internal rule of one song per artist to be included on this list to have both a Zico track and a Block B track but oh well.

Rather than go for a trop house styled song (LIKE SO MANY GODDAMN OTHER PEOPLE), Block B opt for a throbbing deep house bass line and minimal instrumental to ground their track. It stands the hell out thanks to the competent vocalists in Block B and Zico carrying the song pretty hard with his rap/singtalking/everything else, but what really sets this song apart from everything else is the Santana-esque electric guitar riffs used in the chorus. It's also a fairly short song, so everything feels written in a way to make you WANT more replays if only to keep that chorus on repeat and party on like a damn fool. What's Garth doing out of the garage without Wayne though??

29. Primary - On

In my opinion, Primary is one of those artists/producers that just barely straddles the line between indie and mainstream thanks to an accessible production style that turns out fresh tracks with easy crossover appeal. "On" is one of those clean jazzy and funky fresh tracks that does not get old at all, even after multiple listens. The two vocalists chosen for the song keep things simple to keep you grooving to the instrumental itself rather than be the focus of the song, until the catchy chorus kicks in. That's when they get to flex a little to show you why they got picked.

28. BtoB - Movie

Like many other groups in this year-end review, BTOB was not really a group on my radar before today. I can't really be assed to do a deep dive into their discography just to write up the background filler material that'll preface the real review of the song and reasons for placing it this high, so I'm just going to assume their songs either all sucked or were completely boring to me.

Luckily enough, BTOB's "Movie" is a super fun track that uses some funky pop rock/piano instrumentals to stand out from the crowd. Slick production and a fast-paced mix up between the sung verses, rap breaks, and upbeat choruses make the song really enjoyable to listen to.

27. Girl's Day - I'll Be Yours

After a string of disappointing releases, Girl's Day return to form with a more than great title track in "I'll Be Yours." Big brassy instruments lends the song a fun swing vibe that escalates in bombastic fashion in the chorus and gives the song some fun interludes throughout. Line distribution is also noteworthy in the sense that it was as even as it's ever been, which is a pleasant surprise (unless you're Yura who gets 2 rap breaks in the song which forces her to do more work on the mic than she's probably used to doing in a while). Minah's vocal wanking is present as always, but this time it gets a little raw, which is a nice little burst of interesting, before the song ends.

26. MONSTA X - Beautiful

Yet another entry in my "Who the hell were these guys before this article" list, MONSTA X's Beautiful is a high octane track that opens heavy in the bass and electronica before veering into interesting territory in the bridge and chorus. You'd think this kind of song would be a fully swaggerific anthem, but the momentum generated in the rap break downshifts briefly before amping into a mid-tempo crooning that holds your attention with the "So beautiful~" lines. It's a aurally complex song that doesn't overwhelm your ears by doing too much.

NEXT UP: #25-1

2018 Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Wed, 03 Jan 2018 00:51:00 +0000

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1. Posting more gifs of Cheng Xiao. Wow, that an easy!

I don't know what 2018 will bring in store. There will obviously be more content than in 2017, but AKF 2.0 will be nowhere as active as 2011-2016. I'm 27, Zaku is 25, so we're not university students with ample amounts of time to shitpost like we used to do. I'm also not likely to hire authors any longer because I don't have time to edit other peoples' posts, nor do I have Fany or Soyeon Friend here to do that work for me here.

(Personally, I want to see new sites started by younger people instead of trying to join my site. I'm in my late 20s, Asian Junkie is in his early 30s, and Kpopalypse is in his 70s, so we need some new blood in the Kpop blogging game.)

Also, do not expect songs to be reviewed (by me at least). I have always hated doing MV reviews, and now with AKF 2.0, I don't plan on doing them. I'll still post songs I like and songs that I think are absolute shit, but I have no desire to spend time doing the types of articles I like doing the least.

There won't be much of a focus on fangirls like there was early in this blog's history. I don't really interact with many Kpop fans except for the circle of people I generally interact with on Twitter due to lack of time, and I won't be using my free time to search for stupid comments.

I don't see myself putting in the effort to make the site as popular as it used to be 2011-2014, as my life is generally too busy for that. I'll probably be posting 2-3 articles a week, and one of them might just be an MS Paint masterpiece. I'm just here to have fun, waiting for someone younger with a similar site to take my place.

How to Ruin a K-Pop Classic

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 18:34:00 +0000

Last week, YG finally let Black Pink out of the dungeon so that we could get new fap material from them, but in the process, ruined a classic Wonder Girls song.

DEAR TEDDY (OR WHOEVER PRODUCED THIS ABOMINATION OF A REMIX), STOP SLOWING THE BEAT DOWN SO FAR THAT THE SONG ISSLOW ENOUGH FOR GERIATRIC PATIENTS WITH HIP AND KNEE PROBLEMS ARE ABLE TO DANCE TO YOUR SONGS. ALSO STOP ADDING THESE STUPID FUCKING YOLOFAGGOTSWAG RAPS INTO YOUR SONGS. THIS SHIT HAS BEEN RUINING HIPHOP FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS OR SO AND THAT'S WHY I STOPPED LISTENING TO HIPHOP MUSIC, SO KEEP THAT SHIT OUT OF POP MUSIC.

At least the girls look hot, so mute the video.

THE RETURN

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 29 Dec 2017 02:38:00 +0000

Sup bitches, Zaku here.

After a long, long ~~hiatus~~ time away to reflect ~~on my misdeeds~~, I am officially returning as a contributor to the AKF blog. It's been a while since I've last ~~shitposted~~ wrote here, so I want to thank all my fans for waiting patiently for my return.

Gonna hit the ground running so expect a couple more articles soon before the year ends~

Merry Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Mon, 25 Dec 2017 08:00:00 +0000

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas this year!

Nayeon's Vibrator's Top Ten Songs of 2017

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 00:20:00 +0000

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It's already that time of the year, with 2017 coming to a close. Due to life's circumstances this past year, I didn't keep up with Kpop very well and probably missed some great songs here and there. This is my top 10 title tracks for the year that I got around to listening to. Just a warning, each blurb about the song is short because I hate writing MV reviews with a passion and mainly just want to share which songs I liked. With something as subjective as music, there's no point in justifying with an essay of why I like (or dislike) a song.

(Also Kpopalypse, you can suck my dick for "not waiting until December 31st"! I'll be on vacation in Washington D.C. for New Year's weekend.)

10. Jonghyun - Lonely feat. Taeyeon

The best way to remember Jonghyun is through his music and what he did for his fans for the past ten years. "Lonely" is a very melancholy song with dark lyrics given the context of the song and Jonghyun's passing.

09. Chung Ha - Why Don't You Know feat. Nucksal

I never paid attention to Produce 101 or IOI, so I really had no idea who Chung Ha was. I got addicted to the song when it was released in the spring. Then I saw quite a few posts on Chung Ha on r/kpopfap and then I became a fan.

08. Pristin - Wee Woo

I had no idea what to expect with Pristin given how bad Pledis fucked up with After School and Hello Venus. However, with a really addictive track and a group filled with a lot of attractive girls "Eunwoo is #1, y'all), I can see myself following Pristin for three years before Pledis locks them in the dungeon until their contracts expire.

07. Twice - TT (Japanese Version)

"TT" was my second favorite song of 2016, and I was beyond happy that the Japanese version didn't suck! Most Korean to Japanese translations never go well due to the language differences between the two languages (mainly, the two languages have very similar grammar, but Japanese words tend to be a lot longer, so when the songs get translated, either a lot of extra syllables are crammed in to fit the original melody, or badly written English are inserted instead.) Plus, more of Twice's "TT"s are always welcome.

06. Black Pink - As If It's Your Last

As much as I like Black Pink, "As If It's Your Last" is only the second song I like from them, with the other being "Playing With Fire". Many people complained that this sounded like an old-school 2NE1 song -- that's why I like it! This song avoids a lot of the stupid yoloswag shit that Teddy has infected in YG artists' songs the past few years, so to get a normal song from a YG group is a great gift. Plus, Rosé is very hot in the MV.

05. Red Velvet - Red Flavor

Red Velvet released the best song of the summer, awards be damned. This is one of the songs that helped push Red Velvet far away from the rest of the pack from the girl groups in their generation. It also introduced us to Rap Queen Yeri. (Also, she became legal, which is also important!)

04. Red Velvet - Rookie

This was my favorite song for most of the year. It reminded me of Kpop songs that were coming out when I first got into Kpop - incredibly catchy hook, strong verses, and a great instrumental. It was also great to see Seulgi look amazing after her horrible hair in "Russian Roulette".

03. Twice - Likey

I didn't think Twice would ever top "TT," but they did by showcasing Jihyo's TTs in this very addictive song.

02. BoA - Camo

This song, this MV, this choreography -- it's everything I love about BoA.

01. Red Velvet - Peekaboo

"Peekaboo" is a great song with a great chorus, awesome instrumental, and another rap verse by Rap Queen Yeri. I enjoyed watching the "Peekaboo" performances the most out of any song released this year ("Rookie" comes in a close second), as evidenced by the awesome gif of Irene at the beginning of the article.

Let me know what you're favorite songs were. Or just bitch about how Red Velvet dominated 2017 if that makes you feel better.

RIP Kim Jonghyun

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Tue, 19 Dec 2017 02:20:00 +0000

As many of you have already learned today (or yesterday depending on your time zone), SHINee's Jonghyun passed away due to suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning.

Jonghyun's passing has been hard on me all day today, and that is why I waited so long to make a post about this. Jonghyun was the same age as me, 27. This is an age where adults are still learning about themselves and the world, working towards their goals, ready to take life on after completing university and landing their first professional job. It's an age where we stop focusing on all of the stuff that we are simply supposed to do as expected of society and start making our own collective marks in the world. Obviously someone like Jonghyun has been doing that since he debuted at 18, but even at 27, there were still many things he had to look forward to doing as he gained life experiences. Maybe he wanted to marry and have children, continue writing and composing music, expand his solo career to continue to try music different than what he did with SHINee. He still had many opportunities ahead of him in life.

However, as someone who has traveled down the same dark path Jonghyun did, I understand him all too well. Depression is a mental illness that you can never truly defeat. It is an evil that you have to battle each and every day, and there are days, even weeks, months, or years, where depression completely dominates your mind no matter how much you fight. I thankfully never got to the point of being suicidal, but I know the feeling of no longer wanting to live. It was a little over a year ago when I was driving home from a client. I was about 15 minutes away from home, and I was behind a really slow driver. I was irritated beyond belief because I had been trying to pass that person for the past few miles but couldn't because of how hilly the road was. I tried pulling into the other lane to pass him, but saw an oncoming car barreling straight towards me. Instinctively, I slammed my brakes and pulled my car back behind the slow driver. Instead of being thankful that nothing had happened, I had wished that I had gotten into an accident that would have been fatal. I believe the only thing that saved me that night was not wanting to involve an innocent person. A few days later, due to that and other problems, I finally started getting the help that I needed. Knowing how I had felt that night, I can only begin to imagine the darkness that it would take to willingly take your own life.

If anyone reading this is or has suffered from depression, just remember that you are not alone and don't have to battle it alone. There will always be people close to you that will help you.

We must not blame Jonghyun, and I hope those close to Jonghyun don't blame themselves. Every person has his or her limit in the amount of pain he or she is able to bear. I'm just thankful for his suffering ending and that he can live a healthier life in his next existence. I just hope people continue to remember him for what he accomplished with SHINee and the joy that he brought to his fans. While this life was short for him, he can continue to live on through his music and our memories.

RIP in peace Dal Shabet

noreply@blogger.com (Nayeon's Vibrator) — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 08:00:00 +0000

A few days ago, Ah Young (D:), Subin and Serri's contracts with Happy Face Entertainment expired. Woohee is the only one left, as she joined the group a year later after that one member went one to do softcore porn (bless her).

For those that didn't know, Dal Shabet was produced by E-Tribe, the composing team that shot to stardom in 2008 with Lee Hyori's "U Go Girl", and then they made "fuck you" money in 2009 as they composed SNSD's "Gee." Then they released the biggest clunker of their short career, T-ara's "Yayaya." They then debuted Dal Shabet in 2011, and even though they had great songs (both composed by E-Tribe and outside composers), Dal Shabet never got anywhere.

RIP. I'll miss Ah Young the most.