“The real things haven\’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.” 

― Laura Ingalls Wilder

“After having been occupied by Germany since 9 April 1940, Denmark became free again on 5 May 1945. When the liberation was announced in the 8.30pm BBC broadcast on 4 May 1945, many Danes spontaneously placed lit candles in their windows. This became a custom that is still kept up by many Danes.” Official Website of Denmark

Danish windowsills, sidewalks and corners are filled with candles, no matter what time of year or time of day. I’ve travelled with non-Danes and their general response is that they can’t believe there are open-flame candles burning in public spaces from tourist toilets to tables in cafes. Candles are everywhere and it’s one of the things I miss about being there.

In my family, a candle was lit every morning as a way to not just making the morning cosier, but as a way to think about and honour those close to us have passed. My mum lit them for her parents every day and now I do the same. Generally using a plain, tall candle for this purpose

When travelling, I burn tin-packed candles because they travel so well. Or I’ll stop in a local shop and pick one up to use just for the duration of my stay. Lighting and burning a candle has become for me routine or a form of meditation. Something simple, easy, and charming to do that always gives me pause and brings awareness to the moment. The total definition of hygge.

I try to burn green candles but there are a few brands I love that aren’t as clean as I’d like. Scent, burn-time, and look (I like simple containers) are my criteria. Linnea Light’s Cashmere is my winter go-to (and from one of my favourite candle companies). I love Ethic Supply candles and Ojai Pixie Blossom is a tried and true favourite for spring and summer mornings but LAFCO’s Star Magnolia is quickly rising to the top. Diptyque’s Tuberose and Roses are lovely year rounds that I love to burn whilst having a bath or getting ready – they make me feel so fancy!

See all my favourites (including the latest discoveries) on my ShopMy Shelf:

Note: The photos are from various times from 2007-2017 and the camera quality varies. But they tell the story of Selsø Slot and also reflect all my visits there.

Selsø Slot is a very traditional example of a Danish manor house, plain, simple, purposeful, with a history first recorded in 1288 though its current structure dates to the Renaissance in 1576. Half a million bricks used to build it were taken from the abandoned St. Clare’s Priory in Roskilde, which gives Selsø a distinctive and somewhat borrowed character. Also making it unique in Denmark was its now non-existent moat, which was created by water access to Selsø Sø (Selsø lake)

The inside design of Selsø Slot, including all the French wallpapers, dates back to around 1734 when it was rebuilt to fit the Baroque style. It was owned by the German-Danish Scheel-Plessen family from 1721 and fully used as a family residence until 1829, when the last occupant, Agathe von Qualen, died. Her heirs had no interest in the estate, the furniture was auctioned off, and the house was abandoned for 144 years until it was privately bought but not used in 1972.

My mother’s family lived here for approximately thirty years from 1922, when my great-grandfather Niels Rasmussen became farm foreman at Selsø, a position he would hold through several changes in ownership. The family lived in the old gatekeepers house on the estate, the yellow house adjacent to the manor, which up until 1829 had only been occupied by titled people.

Before coming to Selsø, Niels had spent fifteen years at Skærsø, the home farm of Paul la Cour, a Danish scientist and inventor now recognised as a pioneer of wind energy. La Cour built one of the world’s first electricity-generating wind turbines at Askov in 1891, and Skærsø was his experimental base, one of the most technologically forward-thinking farms in Denmark at the time. Niels arrived there as a labourer in 1906 and worked his way up to farm master over fifteen years. It was a trajectory that brought him to the attention of the von Plessen family, whose estate at Fussingø was just fourteen kilometres away. When they needed someone to manage the transition at Selsø, they knew who to ask.

The Scheel-Plessen family, for whom my great-grandfather worked, were progressive for their time and had in an earlier generation been prominent supporters of abolishing the stavnsbånd, the system that had bound rural labourers to their estates in Denmark. The family that my ancestors came to work for had historically advocated for the freedom of people like them. My great-grandfather had worked for the la Cours who were also progressive and I love this idea that my family was part of change whilst holding very traditional jobs like farming.

My family arrived at Selsø at a significant moment. Under the Danish Land Reform Acts of the early twentieth century, large private estates were required to release portions of their land for redistribution into smallholdings. In 1922, approximately 140 hectares of the Selsø estate were handed to the state and parcelled out for independent farming, a transition my great-grandfather oversaw.

My grandfather grew up here and mother grew up visiting her grandparents here, with memories of playing in the castle when it wasn’t locked, seeing the first floor used as a storeroom for grain, and hanging clothes to dry on the second floor. The estate passed to Magnus Scheel-Plessen in 1932 and after his death in 1948, to his nephew Victor Friedrich Carl Scheel-Plessen. My great-grandfather continued as foreman through these transitions. He retired and lived nearby, and he, along with grandparents, are buried at the family plot at the church here.

My history with Selsø is through my mother’s memory and family stories and my own visits before it was turned into a museum. The photos below of the inside are from 2007 when my mother and I went to visit and met the owners who were restoring it. My mother told them her history with the place and they let us into the castle to see it. It was just as she remembered it from fifty years before. It was a very special, sweet day to see it in that state. And although I’ve been back to Selsø many times since, I haven’t been back inside as I’m generally only in Denmark in February and it’s only open during the summer.

Every castle has a ghost story and this one isn’t any different. My mum tells the story of Elisabeth von Thienen, wife to Baron Mogens Scheel von Plessenalson. In 1749, jealous of all of his affairs that he had when he was at their other home in Copenhagen, she stabbed him in his sleep in the room pictured below, threw his body out the window, into the moat, and then killed herself by jumping out the same window. The window was boarded up (and still is) and her ghost started being seen in this room and the hallways. She became known as The White Lady My mother remembers as a child seeing dark stains in the floor of this room and on a few occasions, the woman.

The 18th-century french wallpaper can still be seen and is pretty remarkable that it has survived all the uninhabited, damp years.

One of the things I love most is all the windows and their purpose. Selsø was built at a specific angle with all the windows to allow for amazing cross-breezes to keep the home cool. It was why, after hundreds of years, when we walked in there was no musty or old smell. The windows kept everything fresh inside by their perfect shape and placement.

Before it was opened as a museum and the last time I was inside (2007 I think), the kitchen was in its original state and hadn’t been inhabited or used since 1829. There was no electricity, heat or running water in the castle and the tools you see in the photos above were all original to Selsø . The windows in the kitchen had the same thought-process as those above stairs to keep things cool and allow for breezes. It’s the oldest functioning kitchen in Denmark. I think since then they’ve opened this up as a museum it’s now used to sell coffee and baked goods though. I’d love to go back and see how it’s evolved.

Selsø Kirke (Church)

In 2017, my mum and I were updating our family plot records with the groundskeeper when he told us a fascinating story about the Church’s age. It wasn’t until 2015 that the original date of the Church was known. When gas problems occurred they had to take up the church floor, discovering there was an original and round church floor from the 1100’s. This made it one of the oldest Churches in Denmark although no one seems to know why this location would make it so.

It’s a tiny, charming little church with beautiful views of Selsø Lake and a place I love visiting. It’s so beautiful and peaceful, with birds always singing and the wind always blowing. My family’s plot (on my mother’s side) is here so when I visit, I always say a hello to them. The Church parking lot is now the parking for Selsø Slot and the trail to the castle begins here.

Getting There

To visit you’ll definitely need a car as there is no train or bus service out there. But it’s such a pretty drive you won’t mind. Google: Selsøvej 284050 Skibby

Now, it seems like every magazine or blog post has something to do with hygge. I’ve seen “top 10 hygge food” lists, hygge hair, how to buy a hygge living room and so on. The images are always the same – overly styled, sort of hipster, fluffy this, cup of coffee.

That highly styled, store-bought image? That’s not hygge.

What hygge really looks like is in the image above. It’s my mother on the right with my great aunt who lives in a care facility just outside of Copenhagen. Her little room isn’t fancy, styled, or magazine worthy. When we visited, we had the traditional Danish visit with coffee and a little sweet. Coffee was just the cheap kind from the home, housed in a plastic purple carafe and we had it in paper cups and the sweets weren’t home made but individually wrapped in plastic from a shop.

The room wasn’t prepped before we came so things were here and there but the basic tea light candles were lit of course, little plants were in the window and art collected over the years was all around. There was no designer furniture (you can see my mum sitting on a hospital bed) or dozens of pillows plumped up against perfectly white walls. It was a functional room with a few personal items that reflected my great aunt and made it feel like her home.

My two second cousins were also in this tiny room and for a few hours we snakke snakke snakke (chatted) and as we did, nurses and fellow residents came in and out. And each time someone came in, saw us all huddled around, drinking coffee and laughing, they would say “Det er så hyggeligt” (this is so cosy). Hygge must have been said a dozen times over the course of the visit.

No one wished they were somewhere else, no one wished they had something more than what was there. In those moments there was no worry, just joy.

And that’s what real hygge is – a simple moment that feels so special, cosy, relaxing, loving or happy that you just need to call it out. It’s not about being fancy, or styled, or being in the best circumstances, or having the right things. It’s literally about being present enough to see how great a moment is, and give that moment a name – hygge.

I’m not against beautiful images and styled things at all. I love to both see these and take them but I am against all the sites, articles and posts selling the concept of hygge as if it’s something you can just buy and do and you’re done. It’s not a “lifestyle” as so many non-Danish posts try to make it out to be. It’s not one thing you can check off your list and your life is better. And it’s not always picture perfect.

Hygge in its simplest form is really about being present. It can happen several times a day, anywhere, anytime – all it takes is you. Nothing else.I share this because I don’t like seeing comments from people who are looking for some kind of life fix and literally buy into a concept when they don’t need to. That is so the opposite of what hygge is and how Danes live. Thinking that hygge looks a certain way or can be gained by following 10 steps or buying 3 key items sets a person up for failure, I think. Like if they don’t do x,y and z they aren’t living the right “hygge” life.

But Hygge is a little bit like Dorothy’s ruby slippers – you already have the ability to live well. You just need to take a moment to recognise it. That’s all.

So if you ever need a reminder that hygge is really simple and can be found in any circumstance, just look at this photo. It’s not the best photo ever, it’s not the prettiest, these are not people who have it all, but they’re people who were enjoying each other and the moment so much, that everyone could name it.

And they called it, hygge.

Bodie is an incredibly well-preserved ghost town located off the 395 in the eastern Sierra Nevada mountains of California. It was once a thriving gold mining town during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Today, it’s a state historic park and open to the public.

Bodie emerged in 1859 after the discovery of gold in the area and quickly grew into a bustling town with a population of around 10,000 people, complete with saloons, businesses, and even a red-light district. The town was known for its rough and lawless atmosphere, with frequent incidents of violence and crime.

Despite its remote location and harsh winters, Bodie thrived for several decades. However, by the early 20th century, the gold began to run out, and the town\’s population gradually declined. The last mine closed in 1942, and Bodie was ultimately abandoned. What remains in anything that would have been too heavy or expensive to move – like iron bed frames and kitchen tables.

Today, Bodie stands as a fascinating time capsule, offering visitors a glimpse into the past. The town has been meticulously preserved in a state of “arrested decay,” with many of the buildings still standing as they were left, filled with artifacts and remnants of the past. It provides a unique opportunity to explore the abandoned streets, homes, and businesses of a once-vibrant mining town.

Visiting Bodie feels like you’re living history and the rugged spirit of the American West. It’s almost eerie how well everything is preserved. It’s well worth the detour off the 395 but make sure you have enough gas and your tires are in good shape to take on the dirt road it takes to get there.

A friend had recently visited Palm Springs and met a husband and wife duo behind the new La Serena Villas, a 1933 historic hotel downtown that they were transforming into a luxury boutique hotel. She highly recommended it (and as the PR person for the Four Seasons Beverly Wilshire, I totally trust her judgment).

I booked a couple of nights, and it did not disappoint.

I had the “Residence“, a stand alone cottage with a separate bedroom, full kitchen, huge living room, the most amazing claw foot tub inside, and a private outside area with a fireplace and tub (although each of the 18 rooms also comes with a private patio, outdoor tub and fireplace).

I loved that this was a 21+ resort and each room/villas seemed secluded. The breakfast and pool snacks were delicious, the overall vibe and decor amazing. The staff was welcoming and not pretentious, and just three days here felt like a week.

Most of my time was spent lounging at the pool, where I snagged one of the large day beds which I recommend trying to get. And the evenings were spent in my private, outdoor bath and patio. And even in the heat of summer, having the firepit on just made sense.

I went on this trip without my dog, but it is a dog-friendly place (for a fee).

For this trip, this was the absolutely perfect place. It doesn’t have all the resort amenities or size of the Parker, but if you don’t need that, I’d recommend this over that (and over the Ace).

Instead of reading another decorating magazine, paint that room. Instead of thinking of baking, make that cake. Instead of watching another beauty haul blog, go out and run, walk, bike or say enough. Put that self help book down and pick up yourself.

Let go of the snark, your worries, your anger and fear and give into possibility, action, joy and life.

Do. Then do some more.

Stop thinking about you. Stop blogging about just you and your kid and your pet. There’s a world out there to connect to, really connect to and texting doesn’t count.

Being of use is far more important than being popular. Think about the single parent on your block, the young persons struggling to find a job, the old man fallen on the street. Think about politics, the environment, healthcare, another country, cultures, and your community. Then do something about it. Never stop at thinking.

Dream big, work harder. Have lots of fun. Cheer your friends on. Cheer yourself up. Celebrate as much as possible – even just a good cup of coffee. Enjoy everything. Right now. It’s OK to want more and do more but be present with where you are or who you are with. Don’t rush the situation – even if it’s bad. Move on when you can. Don’t settle. Try everything you can and get over everything holding you back.

Go outside. Go outside yourself. Make a difference, make some change. Don’t complain about someone unless you’re willing to say it to that someone. Don’t complain about a situation you’re not willing to make better. They don’t have it better and you don’t have it worse. Don’t make excuses. You’ll never see possibility if you do. And you’re smart and worth more than settling for a life of complaining and limitation.

Hope. Hope more. Give someone else hope.

Get healthy and contribute to a healthy environment. Think about everything you do, you buy, you say. Only be lazy on Sunday and even then, be conscious. Rest is useful, giving up is not.

Live with a light heart. Play more. Remember what it’s like to be seven. Remember to listen to a seven year old because you just have more words and life experience, not necessarily more wisdom. Have more questions than answers and don’t put everything into words. Sometimes just feel things and be. Be quiet more often, listen harder, talk exactly as you mean to.

Strive for your best and not what you think someone else’s best is. Follow through. Don’t let others down. Don’t let yourself down. You are better than your circumstances. Ask for what you’re worth. Make magic happen, don’t wish for it. Don’t envy others lives, envy yours. Live it fully. Teach by example how to live well, how to be treated, how to be kind, how to be alive.

Do. I can’t stress that one enough. Take action on your life. Make the change. No more sulking, waiting, thinking, reading, talking about.

It’s time. You’re ready.

(Originally published in 2007. Re-published because sometimes we all need a little reminder, including myself)

But I also love finding the time to cosy up on the couch, light on the candles and the tree and sit back and watch one of the movies below for the gazillionth time.

What holiday favourites would you add to the list? Would love to know what you’d add – leave your rec’s in the comments below.

Holiday Movie Picks:

Little Women: My favourite version is the 1994 one because I think this is the most holiday version of them all. I think it’s also really sweet without being saccharine.  The wintery scenes are so cosy and charming that you’ll find yourself wanting to move to Massachusetts and singing down your lane in snow and -40F.

The Holiday: I’m usually not a romantic comedy fan but I fell for this movie (the tent the daughter’s built actually made it onto my bucket list of things to do). A British woman and an American switch homes during the holidays and charm, truths and hilarity ensue. I really loved both homes decor so Id watch it just for that.

Family Stone: (Photo above is from the film) This film also encapsulates the holidays but in a very different way by showing modern day family life – the quirks, the challenges, the changes. I think it’s just such a charming, funny and heart-warming film about family bonds at Christmas and beyond.

Meet Me In St. Louis: One of the classic holidays songs, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” was written for this film and I get a little misty every time I watch Judy Garland sings it. It’s such a beautiful film with all the feels. It’ll make you cry, it’ll make you laugh and it’ll make you want to sing along.

Eloise at Christmastime: I thought this children’s movie would annoy me but somehow, the story of a girl living at the Plaza Hotel and taking a day to go shopping for gifts, well, it charmed me. (I can’t find it for download/viewing anywhere but the link streams if free on Youtube!).

It’s a Wonderful Life: “You see, George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?” A classic although I didn’t see it until about two years ago. I’ve been in love with it ever since and actually go to my local theatre to watch it on the big screen as a newish holiday tradition.

Little House on the Prairie: Officially not a movie, the Ingalls first Christmas in Walnut Grove gets me every time. You can download Season 1, Episode 15. It’s the meaning of Christmas in all it’s family simplicity.

Elf: My favourite part? “I’m in a stooooooore! And I am siiiiiinging!” I love this movie with its charm and wit and the complete way in which Will Ferrel commits to being elf. Plus, I have a slight crush on Zooey Deschanel in this role. And the soundtrack is wonderful.

The Bells of St. Mary’s: Again, not a holiday movie but I seem to have only ever seen it during the holidays. Although, one of my favourite scenes in a movie ever is with the children as they practice for the holiday play.

Anne of Green Gables: Not holiday but both this and the sequel have holiday moments in them. And they’re charming and sweet enough for the holidays. I mean, who doesn’t remember puffed sleeves at Christmastime?

(This is an updated repost from 2012)

The site was designed to be an exploration (literally) of creativity, changing content and design every quarter. It launched with three artists, one of whom was award-winning filmmaker Jane Campion, with a focus on her new film, Bright Star, which launched at the same time.

Said Jane of the film in a Telegraph interview:

“When 23-year-old John Keats met 18-year-old Fanny Brawne in the autumn of 1818, a love affair began, and the 37 surviving love letters and notes Keats wrote to Fanny bear compelling witness to its tenderness, passion, and intensity. It was the first love most of us dream of enjoying, but with an end so tragic that it proved hard for them to bear.

Eight years ago, I was drawn into Keats’s world by Andrew Motion’s biography. Soon I was reading back and forth between Keats’s letters and his poems. The letters were fresh, intimate and irreverent, as though he were present and speaking. The Keats spell went very deep for me. I finally wrote a screenplay of the love affair from Fanny’s point of view, entitled Bright Star.”

Working with Jane Campion on this project was literally a dream come true. She’s one of my favourite storytellers and directors for so many reasons, but three of them in particular are these: she believes in the smallest of details, creating austere beauty and making light a main character.

Our site highlighted these details, including her notes for the actors she gave via physical 19th-century handcrafted love notes. It also shared the incredible beauty of the film through still photography and Jane’s own behind-the-scenes Polaroid shots.

The night of the launch part, I was able to speak with her about these things, in particular light as a main character. I think about light often, especially in my travels and as seasons shift. To talk with someone who noticed it as I did felt oddly reassuring. What else was reassuring was how Jane struck me as an introvert, caring more about her craft than the response to it. But she indulged me, and I took away from our conversation how much she cared – about the story, work, and people. She loved what she did, and that quiet passion resonated. Creating isn’t always about competition or being the best; it’s telling a story in the best way because you have to. And if you’re working with people, bringing out the best in them. I love that.

In a Guardian interview, Jane said this of herself, which you feel when you talk with her:

When she started out, Campion considered herself primarily a writer. “I had these stories, and there was no chance of getting anybody else to do them, so I had to become a director of my own work. I never thought I wanted to be a film director. I’m not actually ambitious per se in terms of a career; I’m just ambitious to achieve the stories and dramas that I’ve come up with.”

I re-watched Bright Star the other day, and it’s still one of the most beautiful films I’ve seen. There are so many hygge moments that if I could live in them, I would. It’s a slow, quiet film that requires you to be present when watching it, but it’s honest, captivating, and heartbreaking all at once.

I’ve pulled together some of my favourite images from the film and some of the photos shared on The Anthropologist almost 10 years ago. They center mainly around Fanny Brawne, from which the story of Keats is told. To me, she’s a complex character I didn’t always like, but I do admire a lot of her boldness and attitude. Slate Magazine summed her up the best:

“Fanny, as played by the up-and-coming Australian actress Abbie Cornish, is a curious heroine. She’s not a quick-tongued wit, like Pride and Prejudice’s Elizabeth Bennet. She’s grave-faced and a little stolid, skeptical of flights of fancy. Fanny is inordinately proud of her gifts as a seamstress, and she dresses herself in homemade finery that’s outrageously ornate for the simple village life she leads. (Meeting Keats at a party, she brags, “This is the first frock in all of Hampstead to have a triple-pleated mushroom collar.”)”

Jane Campion’s Bright Star Notes & Polaroids

“What I love so much about this story is its purity and innocence,” Ms. Campion said. “It’s such a rare thing these days. Also the poetry, a lost art to which, hopefully, we’ve given a moment. It felt like it was about things I want to know about life. It’s not fashionable, but it seems to feed me in the way I want to be fed.” New York Times.

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.”― Karen Blixen

For Karen Blixen being such an iconic Dane, I confess to discovering her late (for a Dane) at age 11 and not through her famous book, Out of Africa, but by the movie of the same nam. I also confess to not fully understanding her story until many years later when I began in earnest to understand great creatives in Danish history.

One of the reasons I’ve come to hold a special place in my heart for Karen is her twisty, winding life path that started with a charmed childhood spent in a loving family that spent time outdoors and travelling. But that changed just before her 10th birthday when her father committed suicide. Her teen years were a mix of travel as she stayed with various family until she moved to Africa and married Baron Bror Blixen-Finecke, the twin brother of a man she loved but did not love her back. The marriage was a more formal business arrangement than one of love, and their partnership was in setting up a coffee farm in Kenya. Her husband was unfaithful to her, and her coffee farm was in an area where growth and harvesting were impossible. 

While in Africa, she met Denys Finch Hatton, who became her real great love for about 5 years until his untimely death in a plane crash. Then, she found herself penniless, sick, and alone and decided to return to her home in Denmark, feeling broken and in a slight depression.

As a child, she hadn’t been encouraged to be creative, and she felt disconnected from who she was and who she wanted to be. As someone who was also a creative and imaginative child who felt they had to hide that part of themselves as they grew up, I could relate. Although she’d begun writing her first book, Seven Gothic Tales in Kenya, she didn’t begin writing in earnest until age 38 in her home in Denmark. She wrote in English and the pen name Isak Dinesen hoping she could sell the novel for more money, but initially had a hard time finding a publisher. However, once she did, the book found literary success, which gave her the ability at age 42 to write the autobiographical novel that would give her the most fame, Out of Africa.

In Out of Africa, she really encapsulates the feelings of both charm/wonder with despair. There are always good and bad things happening, but she never fully gives into one. Instead, the bad becomes the building blocks from which she lives and enjoys life. I think that is such a powerful message because it’s always so easy to think someone is born charmed or lucky instead of realising everyone has struggles. What’s different is how people deal with them.

So for years, I have wanted to visit the home of one of my heroes as it’s now a museum, but I just never had made it a priority until this trip. I was so glad I took the time to visit because I was inspired all over by her creativity, life, and home. I highly encourage a visit when you’re in Denmark as it’s easy to get there by car or train from Copenhagen. I recommend the train because it’s a very easy and lovely walk to her home with a path through the woods where she loved to walk and is now buried.

The museum says this about her home: “The rooms are almost exactly as Karen Blixen decorated and arranged them, giving a vivid impression of the writer’s day-to-day surroundings. Some of the furniture came from the farm in Africa, including Denys Finch Hatton’s favourite chair and the chest that Karen Blixen’s steward, Farah, gave her. A number of the old stoves in the rooms came from Danish manor houses once owned by Karen Blixen’s relatives.”

It feels like a very typical Danish home in a lot of ways; cosy, relaxed, with formal touches and lots of family or meaningful decor throughout. Rooms tell a story, individual pieces tell a story and whilst walking around you can feel those stories.

One of my favourite touches of the home were all the flowers throughout. Karen loved them, especially spring blooms in winter, and so the ladies that work in the museum keep up this tradition of beautiful flowers in every room. So even with the snow outside, there is a warmth and happiness of spring inside.

I’m generally not one to buy souviners unless I can use them in some way. And one of my favourites from any trip was this poster of the original Out of Africa book cover. It’s now one of my favourite things.