Art of Living

Jokes - I tried it once but I didn't like it

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:15:00 +0000

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.

He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."

The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

Jokes - Twins' Father

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:30:00 +0000

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"

Jokes - Take off my clothes

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:50:00 +0000

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt.

Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.

Jokes - Releasing Mental Problems

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:49:00 +0000

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Jokes - Stupid Baby Name

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 08:57:00 +0000

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?"

The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."

The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied,

"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."

The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY."

The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."

Jokes - Smart Pills

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:44:00 +0000

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''

''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.

So he ate them and said, ''These taste like crap.''

''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''

Jokes - Perfect Man and Perfect Woman

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 10:18:00 +0000

There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.

One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up.

Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived.

Who died and who lived?

The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.

Jokes - In a murder trial

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 05:55:00 +0000

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren''t sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man''s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it''s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

Jokes - Baseball in Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 06:53:00 +0000

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

Jokes - Huge pause? Huge paw?

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 05:16:00 +0000

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"

The bear says, "I've had them all my life."

Jokes - An old Fart

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 04:47:00 +0000

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

Jokes - Brunette Meets Genie

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 05:02:00 +0000

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Jokes - Final Confession

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.

She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."

"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

Jokes - Pa won't like it

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:26:00 +0000

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

Magic - Card Trick

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:00:00 +0000

Card Trick

Engineering In Hell

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:34:00 +0000

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

The Living Statues

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:04:00 +0000

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.

Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

Creative - Easy Graphical Multiplication Trick

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:46:00 +0000

Easy Graphical Multiplication Trick

Chastity Belt - You gave me the wrong key

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:02:00 +0000

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."

So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend.

"What's wrong?", he asks.

"You gave me the wrong key!", his best friend says.

Funny Advertisement - Meeting with Bosss

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:29:00 +0000

Meeting With Bosss

Joke - I have to have a raise

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 18:10:00 +0000

"I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me."

"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"

"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."

Joke - One dollar plus one dollar

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:52:00 +0000

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent(sadly): You don't know my father.

Joke - Why are you so curious?!

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:49:00 +0000

This Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, Mom.", he asked, "why is my bigger brother named 'Mighty Storm'?"

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.", she replied.

"Why is my sister named 'Corn Flower'?"

"Well..." his mother answered, "Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called 'Moon Child'?"

"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived.", the mother replied.

The mother then asked the boy, "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?!"

Google Adsense - High Earning 130k Check

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:12:00 +0000

The Adsense Check for $132,994.97

Jeremy Shoemaker, the owner of ShoeMoney got this check on September, 2005.

After he posted the check on that thread, he received many emails and questions. So he posted this...

# 1) How much of the check was profit?
- At the time my expenses were 1 server @ 299$ per month for hosting. I would say atleast 130k was profit.
# 2) How much of the traffic was pay per click?
- None of it was pay per click. Back then I did not know anything at all about pay per click.
# 3) Where did all your traffic come from?
- About 70% of the traffic was direct 15% from search engines and 15% from referrals.
# 4) How much traffic did the site get to get that much money?
- About 75k uniq per day.
# 5) Why did you get a paper check and not wire?
- Back then Google did not do wire transfers for amounts of $10,000.00
# 6) Do you think its possible to still earn that kind of revenue? (most often asked question)
- Yes.
# 7) How long did it take to make revenue?
- I never tried to make any money the first 1.5 years it was running. I just concentrated on providing a good service. About 2 years after I started the site It started to do good revenue from AdSense

Besides, he said, "I have permission from Google to display this in my blog and in my presentations. Please check with Google before you disclose any of your reporting", on his blog.

Here is the full month report.

August Payment

August Full Month Report

Have you heard of Google Adsense?
I will post some information about it and guides on it awhile later. Stay tuned =)

Source:
The Adsense Check for $132,994.97

Happy Dinner in New Paris SS2

noreply@blogger.com (kC - 广成) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:19:00 +0000

Quite a rare experience that 17 of us could have dinner together in New Paris, SS2. Had to say, we had to force ourselves to squeeze into one table. Ha, can you imagine it? =P

By the way, we got a big table that time xD

Ryu, Shearly, Anna, Manrong

With full of passion, Shearly took this photo with Manrong and her two japanese friends.

Zuwei, Shearly, Gun, Liang

Loliang and Gun had been fetched by Zuwei, also joined us.

Cherng

I am wearing 'Sunway College' shirt.

Busy Chit Chatting in New Paris

After the meal, we were happy chit chatting (discussing big business? =P).

Group Photo 1 in New Paris

Some funny poses for us to warm up.

Group Photo 1 in New Paris

Here we go, the greeting pose! Happy Chinese New Year~ (Look at two of them - Zuwei and Stephen, what were they doing?)