A Play On Words

noreply@blogger.com (Village Idot) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 01:15:00 +0000

Hey random persons,

Stay tune, we are currently working on perfecting a new script way better, way funnier and way longer.

Village idot

Casting

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:14:00 +0000

I think this is the way the casting will stay. There are no guarantees in this business, however! This is also the order the scripts will be in the performance.

Battle Planning
Darth Vader...Robert
Adolf Hitler...Billy
General Custer...Shane
Hitler's mom...Rachel
The Force...Adam
(Note: We are not having any extra Nazis or Storm Troopers running about here.)

Now we'll drag somebody else in to play a quick song on the piano.

The Interview
Anne...Rachel
Bob White...Adam

The Revenge of the Seniors
Sensei...Will
Old...Shane
Older...Billy
Oldest...Robert
Agent...Rachel
Thug...Adam

The Philosophies of Play-Doh
Prof...Katie
Tom...Adam
Dick...Robert
Harry...Billy

Journalism
Sue...Katie
Matt...Will
David...Shane

Behind the Scenes Take Two
Katie...Katie
Will...Will
Adam...Adam
Robert...Robert
Billy...Billy

Nathan will be doing the lights and Penelope will do our slideshow again!

Acting group members: MEMORIZE YOUR SCRIPTS!
Everyone else: Enjoy your weekend!

The Philosophies of Play-Doh

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:06:00 +0000

Here's another script I whipped up. This one also came from a conversation between Borrik Svenson and I (anyone notice a pattern here?). Also, it sounds like we'll be performing again (I'm not completely sure when). After the casting is settled, I'll post it here.

The Philosophies of Play-Doh by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Prof

Tom

Dick

Harry

Props:

Table

4 chairs

Stack of papers

(Prof is sitting at table, looking through stack of papers.)

Prof: Finally! My last semester! Retirement is in sight! I won’t have to teach every Tom, Dick, and Harry to appreciate the classics!

(Tom enters and sits.)

Tom: Hi ya. I guess I’m kinda early.

Prof: (looks at watch) Only five minutes. You’re cutting it pretty close.

Tom: Well, I had to finish watching Star Wars! It’s a classic!

(Dick enters and sits.)

Dick: What’s this about Star Wars?

Tom: I was just telling Dr. Whats’isname that it’s a classic!

Dick: You’ve got that right!

Prof: Have a seat. We’ll wait for (glances at watch) two more minutes. (mutters) If my students actually got places a little earlier, maybe we could start on time!

Tom: (To Dick) I’ve got Jones in speech. Boy, is he tough! He expects me to do the assignments and return them to him in only a week!

Dick: I know! I had him last semester.

(Harry enters and sits.)

Prof: Welcome, everyone. Let’s go around the table and introduce ourselves. You can call me Professor Hertz.

Tom: I’m Tom.

Dick: I’m Dick.

Harry: I’m Harry.

Prof: I’m glad that you’re all here today. (Hands out papers) This is the course syllabus. We’ll be selecting four novels from the list provided. We’ll read a book every four weeks and talk about it. At the end of the course, you’ll write an analysis of your favorite one. Any questions?

Tom: I see you have David Ironfield on this list. Don’t you think it’s a bit heavy?

Prof: No.

Harry: The Philosophies of Play-Doh. Isn’t that a bit light?

Prof: I didn’t put- oh. You mean The Philosophies of Plato. That’s one of my favorite ones.

Dick: You have Toby Dick. That’s my name! Did someone write an illegal biography?

Prof: (sighs) This will be a long semester. From looking at the titles, can you see any that you really want to read?

Tom: Nope.

Prof: So what books are least objectionable to you?

Tom: Actually, they’re all pretty bad.

Prof: This will be a very long semester. Look. You have to pass this class. To do that, you have to pick four books, write an analysis about one of them, and get an A on said analysis. Got it?

Harry: Look. How about we read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, then watch the movie and eat popcorn?

Dick: I vote we make it corn chips.

Prof: No! I’m paid to teach you to appreciate the classics. I’m going to make you love the classics, whether you want to or not! (short pause) Now then. Let’s read Starship Down, Small Expectations, War and Pieces of Pie, and Non-Gender Specific, African-American Family Robinson. Got it?

Tom: I have small expectations.

Prof: Good. Then you won’t have to buy it. Now then, we’ll start with-

(Tom gets up to leave)

Prof: Where are you going?

Tom: Gotta fly. My soap “This is Your Wife” is on now. (Exits)

Dick: Oh, thanks for the reminder. (Gets up) “As the Stomach Churns” is on. (Exits)

Prof: (looks at Harry) I suppose you have a show to watch too?

Harry: Yup. They’re showing “Rocky and Bullwinkle”, and I just have to see it. (Exits)

Prof: Chinese water torture is nothing compared to teaching. (Exits)

Behind the Scenes Take Two

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:45:00 +0000

This script is a heavily modified version of Behind the Scenes. This script also takes only 5 people instead of 6.

Behind the Scenes Take Two by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Katie

Will

Adam

Robert

Billy

Props:

Table

5 chairs

Pick Me Up book

2 plates of cookies

Whiteboard

Whiteboard marker

Whiteboard eraser

(Katie and Will enter and sit down. Table has Pick Me Up and a plate of cookies on it.)

Katie: So when do you think everyone will get here?

Will: Practice starts at 2, right?

Katie: (nods)

Will: So Adam and Robert will probably get here about 2:20, and Billy at about 2:35.

Katie. Okay. I bet a Hershey’s bar that Adam and Robert will get here at 2:15, and Billy at 2:30.

Will: That’s too optimistic.

(Knocking backstage.)

Will: It’s Adam and Robert.

Katie: Ha! I won the bet!

Will: Not according to my watch.

(More knocking backstage. Will gets up and answers door. Will, Adam, and Robert enter and sit. Robert picks up and begins reading Pick Me Up.)

Katie: Shall we start doing improv?

Adam: But we can’t do it without Billy.

Katie (sighs) It’s possible to do improv when one of the people in this group is missing. Also, if we do improv, we can have some cookies Mom made. (holds up plate of cookies)

Robert: I love this book! (holds book so audience can see cover)

(short pause)

Will: Moving on…

Katie: Yes. Now, the first script we should practice-

(Knocking at door)

Katie: I’ll get it. It’s a Jehovah’s Witness, and I love arguing with them. Be right back. (she leaves)

Will: (yells after her) But it’s MY turn!

Adam: You guys are nuts.

Will: Yes, but we enjoy it.

Adam: So are we going to play Capture the Flag?

Will: I don’t know.

Robert: Did you know that Russia has more billionaires than any country except the US and Germany?

Adam: Hand me the book.

Robert: What?

Adam: (grabs book and puts it backstage) There.

Robert: But it says “Pick Me Up”.

Katie: (enters) That was fun! I wish they came out here more often!

Robert: What did you do?

Katie: Deconstructed all his theories, showed him where the leaps of logic were, and sent him on his way.

(Knocking at door)

Will: My turn! (exits, comes back with Billy, both sit. Billy puts plate of cookies on table.)

Billy: Hi all. My mom said to bring these cookies to you. If there are any left, she’s gonna kill me.

Adam: So we eat as much as we can hold?

Billy: Yup.

Will: (glares at Adam) Like that time we had cookies a few months ago and you ate, like, ten?

Adam: They were good cookies!

Robert: They might have been, but we’ll never know because you ate them all. You even ate the plate!

Katie: Focus, guys, focus.

Robert: Ford, guys, Ford! I love that line!

Katie: I can’t believe you still know it. Anyway, we have work to do. Did anyone practice their scripts this week? (silence) Nobody? What am I going to do with you?

Adam: Give us your mom’s cookies?

Katie: Aspirin, aspirin, my kingdom for an aspirin!

(Billy walks behind whiteboard. Will starts drawing lungs.)

Billy: They look like scissors.

Adam: You’ve got scissors for lungs?

Will: Had any stabbing pains lately?

Robert: Where’s his heart?

Adam: He’s heartless.

Billy: I need a gallbladder.

Katie: No, you don’t. You don’t have any gall.

Will: Let’s see…liver, pancreas, wait. What does a pancreas look like?

Billy: This is very educational.

Adam: Should he have a spleen?

Will: Probably. He should also have a small intestine. There’s no room for the large one.

Robert: He needs a stomach. But since you don’t have any room, I think you’ll have to put his lungs inside his stomach.

Katie: That’s some pretty severe acid reflux!

Will: Let’s see…in your stomach you have a whole apple core, a baseball, and a hammer. (hands Billy a cookie) Here you go.

Billy: Is this your mom’s or my mom’s?

Adam: Who cares?

Will: (steps back) Wow. You are messed up, dude.

Katie: I hate to interrupt you guys, but we really need to start working on scripts.

Adam: NOOOO!

Katie: Come on, Adam. It’s not that hard. Besides, the sooner we get done, the sooner we can do improv or play Capture the Flag, whichever we choose.

Will: I thought we were already doing improv.

(Will and Billy sit down)

Robert and Adam: Me too.

Billy: All right. Let’s get those scripts done. Then we can go play Capture the Flag.

Robert: Do we have bandanas?

Billy: I’ve got one. I asked Bobby for the other one and he said some very mean things about me.

Will: I think we’ve got one. Don’t we, Katie?

Katie: Probably. But we can only play Capture the Flag if we do the scripts.

(Everyone groans.)

Katie: Adam, Robert, Billy, let’s do the Journalism script. Will, watch what we do and point out where it could be better. Why don’t you laugh at certain places too, so we get used to waiting for the audience’s reaction?

Adam: Why don’t we just go outside now?

Will: We might as well.

Billy: We could practice outside.

Katie: No, we get really distracted when we’re out there. Let’s just do these scripts, then we can goof off.

Adam: Let’s vote for team captains!

Katie: Now?! But we’ve got stuff to do!

Adam: Yes, we do. Put on your shoes, everyone, and let’s go! (Will, Billy, Adam, and Robert exit)

Katie: Trying to convince teenagers to focus is like trying to nail Jello to a tree! (exits)

To Empty the Trash

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:31:00 +0000

Here's a quick script I whipped up, once again due to a conversation with Borrik Svenson. Enjoy!

To Empty the Trash by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Cameron

Sabine

Props:

Table

2 chairs

(Cameron and Sabine enter and sit down.)

Sabine: Let’s get started. Mom asked us to empty the trash.

Cameron: To do that, we’ll need a meeting to discuss planning and the budget.

Sabine: We’ll also need committees for both of those.

Cameron: We should probably write this down.

Sabine: I’m recording it so my secretary can transcribe it.

Cameron: Who’s your secretary?

Sabine: You. We’ll also need to talk to the CFO, and possibly hire some temps.

Cameron: Why not hire interns?

Sabine: Temps are more fun. We need to clear this whole project with the environmental and special-interest groups too. Oh! We’ll need to hire a lawyer to write a non-discrimination hiring thingamajig. Let’s make him a temp too.

Cameron: Okay. We’ll also need to rent or buy an office building.

Sabine: I figured we’d have to do that, so I looked at a couple. The one that sounds best is currently having the bathrooms renovated, so we won’t be able to move in immediately.

Cameron: Why are they redoing the bathrooms?

Sabine: Apparently the dimensions for a handicapped stall changed.

Cameron: Oh.

Sabine: We’ll also need to redo the parking lot. It’s in bad shape.

Cameron: Okay. Let’s get that kind of pavement that has milk jugs in it.

Sabine: Milk jugs?

Cameron: Sometimes they put milk jugs in the pavement when it’s still soft. It keeps it in better shape longer.

Sabine: Okay. We’ll also have to have a forest trail, tennis courts and a gym put in for the employees.

Cameron: Let’s put in a Capture the Flag area too.

Sabine: Sounds good to me. I think we’ll get a shuttle to go from the new building to the old building.

Cameron: A space shuttle?

Sabine: Why not?

Cameron: We can have some people set up a server at the building.

Sabine: The building isn’t equipped with internet, so we’ll have to have that installed.

Cameron: What kind of office supplies will we need?

Sabine: I think we should go down to Staples and OfficeMax and buy all their stock. It’s better to have too much than not enough.

Cameron: Make sure we get enough Post-It Notes and whiteboards. They’re fun!

Sabine: I will. Did you know that dry-erase markers come in 30 colors?

Cameron: Nope. Say, what rough estimate are we up to now?

Sabine: I think it’s about 4 million, plus the space shuttle. Do you have anything else to say, or shall we present our report to the CEO?

Cameron: Let’s go. No time like the present.

(Both exit.)

Behind the Scenes script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:39:00 +0000

This is a peek at what goes on during our practices. Yes, we're weird. Yes, we enjoy it.

Also, Borrik Svenson and I have a 'transcript' (we took out the 'ums' and 'ahs') coming. It'll be up here when everyone reads it, hopefully this weekend.

Behind the Scenes

Cast:

Katie

Penelope

Will

Adam

Robert

Billy

Props:

6 chairs

Pick Me Up book

2 plates of cookies

Whiteboard

Whiteboard marker

Whiteboard eraser

(On the table is the Pick Me Up and one plate of cookies. Katie and Penelope enter and sit down.)

Penelope: Did you make that shirt yourself?

Katie: Yes, I did. I heard you fell off a ladder yesterday.

Penelope: I fell onto concrete!

Katie: That must have hurt.

Penelope: It wouldn’t have been too bad except that I was carrying an open can of paint at the time.

(Doorbell rings.)

Katie: (yells) Will! Adam and Robert are here!

(Will, Adam, and Robert enter and sit. Robert picks up Pick Me Up and starts reading it.)

Katie: Well, shall we start doing improv?

Adam: But we can’t do it without Billy.

Katie: (groans) It’s possible to do improv when one of the people in this group is missing. Also, if we do improv, we can have some cookies Mom made (holds up plate of cookies).

Robert: I love this book (holds books so audience can see spine)!

(short pause)

Will: Moving on…

Katie: Yes. Now, the first script we should practice is the first one that Adam and Penelope are both in.

Adam: NOOOO!

Katie: You can do it, Adam. It’s not that hard.

(Doorbell rings. Will leaves and returns with Billy. Both sit.)

Billy: Hi all. My mom said to bring these cookies to you. If there are any left, she’s gonna kill me.

Adam: So eat as much as we can hold?

Billy: Yup.

Will: (glares at Adam) Like that time we had cookies a few months ago and you ate, like, ten?

Adam: They were good cookies!

(Robert giggles. Everyone turns and stares at him.)

Robert: Did you know that Russia has more billionaires than any country except the US and Germany?

(Short pause.)

Will: It’s Whiteboard Anatomy time!

(Billy walks behind board. Will starts drawing lungs.)

Billy: They look like scissors.

Adam: You’ve got scissors for lungs?

Will: Had any stabbing pains lately? Now what else are you missing?

Penelope: Where’s his heart?

Will: He’s heartless.

Billy: What about my gallbladder?

Katie: Apparently he has no gall.

Will: Let’s see…liver, pancreas…wait. What does a pancreas look like?

Billy: This is very educational.

Adam: Should he have a spleen?

Will: Probably. He should also have a small intestine. There’s no room for the large one.

Billy: I should have a thyroid.

Katie: A thyroid looks like a flutterby – er, butterfly.

Will: Oh, you need a stomach. But since we don’t have any room, we’re going to have to put your lungs inside your stomach.

Katie: That’s some pretty severe acid reflex.

Will: Let’s see…in your stomach you have a whole apple core, a baseball, and a hammer. (hands Billy a cookie) Here you go.

Billy: Is this your mom’s or my mom’s?

Will: Who cares?

Adam: Should he have some butterflies in his stomach?

Will: Oh, those too.

Robert: Wait…what are we doing?

Adam: Hand me the book.

Robert: But…but…

Adam: (takes book and hides it backstage) There.

Robert: But it says Pick Me Up. (sees Billy) Oh. Wow. You are messed up, dude.

Katie: I hate to interrupt you guys, but Adam and Penelope need to start working on their scripts.

(Penelope groans.)

Katie: Come on, you guys. It’s not that hard. Besides, the sooner we get done, the sooner we can do improv.

Will: I thought that was what we were doing.

Adam: Me too.

(Katie puts head in hands. Penelope pats her back.)

Penelope: Don’t worry, Katie. Maybe someday we’ll learn our lines and focus and-

Katie: It’s not likely.

Penelope: True.

Billy: All right. Let’s do those scripts. Then we can go play Capture the Flag.

Robert: Do we have bandanas?

Billy: I’ve got one. I asked Bobby for the other one and he said some very mean things about me.

Will: I think we’ve got one. Don’t we, Katie?

Katie: Probably. But we can only play Capture the Flag if we do the scripts.

(Everyone else groans.)

Katie: Well, let’s split up. Will, take Adam and Penelope to the kitchen and make sure they go over their scripts several times. Billy, Robert, let’s try switching parts again.

(Will, Adam, and Penelope exit.)

Billy: Which way will we switch?

Katie: Counter-clockwise.

Robert: So I’ll play Billy’s part, you’ll play my part, and Billy will play your part?

Katie: I think so.

Billy: That’s clockwise.

(Will, Adam, and Penelope enter and sit down.)

Katie: You guys are done already?

Adam: No, we just got bored.

Katie: We’ll never be ready to perform! It’s in two weeks!

Adam: Who said anything about performing? I thought we were just going to play Capture the Flag.

Robert: So why don’t we?

Billy: Okay. Let’s go outside and pick team captains.

(Everyone exits but Katie exits.)

Katie: My brother was right. Leadership IS just like herding cats.

(Katie exits.)

Journalism script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:36:00 +0000

I wrote this script quite a while ago and just got it up here. Enjoy!

Journalism

Cast:

Sue

Matt

David

Props:

About a dozen loose sheets of paper

3 chairs

Table

(Sue enters and sits at table, glancing at watch impatiently. Matt and David enter and sit.)

Sue: Guys, if you’re going to succeed in the journalism business, you’re going to have to get places on time.

Matt: But better late than never.

Sue: Let’s look at the stories you came up with over the weekend. Matt, you go first.

Matt: Okay. Here’s a story about the weather: “Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.”

Sue: Is that the title you’re going to use?

Matt: Yeah.

Sue: But don’t you see the duh part of the headline?

Matt: (studies paper) Nope.

Sue: Oh well.

David: Where’s the well?

Sue: What?

David: You said oh well. That implies that you’re talking to a well.

Sue: David, what did you come up with?

David: An elderly lady had a great score in golf. “Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One.”

Sue: And are you planning on using that title?

David: Sure. Why not?

Sue: Matt, why don’t you list all the other ones you came up with?

Matt: A report on the latest strike: “If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, it May Last a While.” The Boeing 747 accident: “Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say.” Health group studies: “New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.”

David: What about my turn?

Sue: (sighs) Go ahead, David.

David: An article on cooking: “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.” In health: “Hospitals Are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors.” The state of the schools: “Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.”

Sue: I think you guys are just trying to make life hard for me. You’ve done nothing but goof off in class since the first day!

Matt: So sue me. Get it? SUE me! (David and Matt high-five.)

Sue: (groans)

David: But you haven’t heard all the ones we came up with yet. We just haven’t written the articles to go with them. “Miners Refuse to Work after Death.”

Matt: Or “Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.”

David: How about “Crash Courses for Private Pilots.”

Sue: Please stop!

Matt: “Filming in Cemetery Angers Residents.”

David: Oh yeah? “Include Your Children When Baking Cookies.”

Matt: Is that a challenge? “Man Recovering After Fatal Accident!”

David: Just listen to this one! “Many Antiques at Senior Citizens’ Sale!”

Matt: “March Planned for Next August!”

David: “Man Steals Clock, Faces Time!”

Sue: Enough!

David: Not yet. “Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead!”

(All exit.)

The Interview script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Sat, 28 May 2011 15:31:00 +0000

I wrote another script! This one has a similar premise to The Airs of The Toys, along with lots of puns, but this one only calls for two people!

Oh, and our performance went well. Or at least, we all survived. If we have time and enough new scripts, we'll probably do another performance next year.

The Interview by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Anne

Bob White

Props:

Desk/table

Two chairs

Aspirin bottle

(Anne is sitting behind a desk. Bob enters and sits in a chair on the other side of the desk.)

Anne: My name is Anne.

Bob: Anne what?

Anne: What do you mean?

Bob: An orange? An elephant?

Anne: (glares) What is your name?

Bob: (oblivious) Bob. Bob White. My parents thought it was funny.

Anne: I never get the sane ones! To see if you’re the one we want for this job, I’m going to ask you some questions. They won’t just test your job skills; they’ll also test your logic. Also-

Bob: Can we get on with this already?

Anne: It’s a good idea not to interrupt.

Bob: Fine!

Anne: Now then. Question 1: In New York City, there is a billboard advertising a newspaper. What would you do?

Bob: Hmm…call it a sign of the Times.

Anne: Okay…A man dug a hole, but didn’t dig it deep enough. What would you do?

Bob: Tell the man it was a grave mistake.

Anne: A man was plowing a grain product into a field. If you were-

Bob: He was a flower plower.

Anne: Please, don’t mention it again. Anyway: A head cook started a florist’s shop. Would you-

Bob: Chief Chef Sheaf.

Anne: What?

Bob: Chief, because he was the head of whatever. Chef, because he was a cook. And sheaf, because he

was starting a florist’s shop.

Anne: Moving on…If you drove through a town named Ohm-

Bob: No place like Ohm.

Anne: Yes…umm…well. If you bought a jacket made of chain letters, what would you do with it?

Bob: I wouldn’t buy a chainmail coat.

Anne: Please, just stop!

Bob: Stop what?

Anne: The puns! They make me sick! (groans) Oh, never mind. If you were tutoring a little boy in math who like things about the army, what would you tell the boy to convince him to do his work?

Bob: Divide and conquer.

Anne: A mama pig took her son to the store. When her son saw the latest toy, he started yelling for it.

The mama pig took him home.

*Bob: And the little pig went “Wii, Wii, Wii,” all the way home.

Anne: (sighs) A man was trying to decide whether to get honeybees. How would you help him?

Bob: Tell him to bee or not to bee.

Anne: (short pause) If a window-

Bob: Has cramps, what is it called? Pains of glass.

Anne: Please, just stop.

Bob: Why?

Anne: I’m trying to ask you questions!

Bob: I know that.

Anne: (rubs forehead like she’s trying to get rid of a headache) If a

neurosurgeon is operating on a patient-

Bob: Who else would he operate on?

Anne: Quit interrupting! If a neurosurgeon is operating on a patient, what-

Bob: It’s an unnerving experience.

Anne: If a fake tree is the same on both sides-

Bob: It’s symmetry sim-a-tree!

Anne: During roll call, what is a teacher-

Bob: A name caller.

Anne: If a man is driving-

Bob: A multi-passenger vehicle and his clothes are ripped and he has wrinkles, what is he? Rip Van Wrinkle.

Anne: (moans) Please, just show mercy.

Bob: What’s the next pun-er, question?

Anne: If an eastern Mongolian tribe gets a commemorative sign-

Bob: It’s a plaque of the Tartars!

Anne (pulls out aspirin bottle and takes a few)

Bob: If a person is performing while standing on a dictionary, what are they called? A play on words! (laughs)

Anne: Last question. (mutters) Finally! (normal voice) If a rabbit is sitting on the front part of my wagon-

Bob: You’ve got a hare on your tongue!

Anne: That’s all the questions. (stands) I have never had the opportunity to (sarcastically) enjoy (normal voice) such company as yours.

Bob: (exits, then enters again) You know, I feel sorry for Atlas. He never felt like he was on top of the world. (exits)

Anne: (takes rest of aspirin, exits)

We're performing again!

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Sat, 21 May 2011 13:44:00 +0000

Six of us will be performing in less than a week! Here's what the program looks like:
The Airs of The Toys, Part I
The Airs of The Toys, Part II
The Airs of The Toys, Part III
Improv Practice
Darth Vader Family Therapy [this one will be up soon!]
How Far Is It To The Moon?
Mad Scientists

Jenna Dragunov has created a FANTASTIC slideshow of pictures of us during practice. We're planning to play that in the lobby before we perform.

We had practice yesterday, and it went really well. I hope we do that well when we perform!

Cat-Toast script

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 01:28:00 +0000

I had actually written this script a few months ago, but it wasn't until now that I remembered that I hadn't posted it yet and I was online at the time I remembered it. So here you are. Enjoy.

P.S.: If you would like to use this script, please read the "Read This First!" page.

Cast:

Scientist Fred

Scientist George

Scientist Sam

Scientist Bob

Scientist Doodah

Props:

Whiteboard

Whiteboard marker

Papers (to use for Fred’s notes)

4 chairs

Notes:

Scientist George should always talk in big words.

Scientist Sam should do nothing but translate George’s big words.

Scientist Doodah has an inferiority complex.

Scientist Bob should always act mean and gruff.

Scientist Fred is the chairman and has no real quirks.

(Scene starts with all scientists except Fred sitting in front of a whiteboard. Scientist Fred enters)

Fred: Good afternoon, fellow scientists. I suppose you’re wondering why I called you all to this meeting.

Bob: Yes, yes, cut the chatter. I have some important experiments to perform as soon as you’re done.

George: I am possessed of the utmost certainty that Scientist Bob can abnegate his experiments until Scientist Fred adumbrates his supposedly salubrious discovery.

(All look at Sam)

Sam: Be quiet, you meanie. Your experiments can wait until Fred outlines his research.

George: Scientist Fred.

Fred: Yes, umm….well. Anyway, as Scientist George said, I have recently made a discovery which I am sure will benefit society. (Sketches a piece of toast on the whiteboard) As we all know, if a piece of toast is dropped on the floor, it will inevitably land butter side down. (Sketches a cat on the whiteboard) We also know that if a cat is dropped, it will also inevitably land on all four paws. (Puts a plus sign in between the sketches) So, if we combine the two, and add in a little duct tape to hold them together-

Bob: (Sarcastically) Of course.

Fred: -then, due to the conflicting nature of the two objects, we would defy gravity.

(Pause)

George: I say we defenestrate the idea immediately.

(All look at Sam)

Sam: Chuck it out the window, bub.

Fred: But can’t you see the possibilities of this discovery?

Bob: Yeah, right. Like what? Anti-gravity? Come on, that’s it?

Fred: Quit reading my notes. In fact, that is one application. Just think! Anti-gravity! The industries that could profit from it! The cities that could be improved! The lives that could be changed! In fact, I challenge all of you to think of just one industry that would NOT profit from it.

(Pause)

Bob: Garbage collectors.

Fred: Okay, fine. There’s one. But look at this! (Gestures to whiteboard) Due to the way that these objects are combined, not only would they defy gravity, but they would also spin.

George: Merely an extraneous detail.

(All look at Sam)

Sam: What, more fluff?

Fred: (Shakes head and sighs) You guys-

George: SCIENTISTS!!!

Fred: You scientists just don’t seem to get it. Don’t you realize what this means? Think, gu- er, scientists, THINK!

(Pause)

Doodah: Oh, my head.

Bob: Yes, unfortunately, it’s still there.

Fred: Be quiet, Scientist Bob. (To Doodah) Ahh, there you are. I was starting to wonder if you were still alive back there.

Doodah: Huh? Oh, yes, yes, Scientist Fred, I’m still here. Ready to do whatever you need, as always.

Fred: Good. In fact, I need you right now. Scientist Sam, why don’t you go with Doodah and bring back Sample 3349-B from that pond that we get our aquatic samples from.

(Scientists Sam and Doodah start to leave)

Sam: Which sample?

Fred: 3349-B.

Sam: Which sample?

Fred: 3349-B.

Sam: Which sample?

Fred: 3349-B! 3349-B!! THE ONE WITH THE SCRATCH ON THE SIDE AND THE MUSTARD STAIN ON IT!

Sam: Got it! (Exits)

Fred: Finally! I was starting to wonder if he was ever going to understand.

George: But now to return to the point of our extricated debate which we were before our disembarkation.

(All look at the spot where Sam was sitting)

Fred: SAM!!

(Sam runs in)

Sam: Let’s get back to where we were before this rabbit hunt. (Exits)

Fred: Yes, anyway. The spinning motion of the two objects would be used to generate… free energy.

Bob & George: (in unison) Free energy?

Fred: Yes. Free energy. Think of it! Free energy! Wind turbines would be a thing of the past! Nuclear power would be instantly outdated! With these little, ummm… cat-toast thingies, we could power generators! We could build trains that run off thousands of these cat-toast thingies! No need for the tedious, exhausting labor of laying railroad tracks!

George: What a salubrious discovery! We will be lionized in the public opinion! Those intransigent environmentalists will adore us!

Bob: Of course, you know that the A.S.P.C.A. is going to come down hard on us for this one.

Fred: Yes, yes. All those details will be worked out later.

(Sam runs in, breathless and frightened)

Bob: What’s going on there, Sam? And where’s Doodah?

(pause while Sam gets his breath back)

Sam: (sings) Somebody fell in the lake and drowned!

Fred, George and Bob: (in unison) Doodah, Dooda – OH!!!

(All scientists run offstage)

Reminder for the Readers

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 17:51:00 +0000

Oh, and remember, readers, if you want to use a script, see the Read This First! page at the top of the screen. Thanks!

The Airs of the Toys Part Three

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 17:49:00 +0000

This is the last part I'll write, I promise! These were super fun to write!

In other news, we are plotting-er, considering a performance in late spring. I've got cast lists written up. All of you who are performing will get a cast list and then you can come here and print out the scripts.

If any of you readers have ideas for scripts, submit them via the comments. Who will be the first?

The Airs of the Toys Part Three by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Manager

Harold

Barry

Props:

Table

Two chairs

Paper

Pen/Pencil

(All enter. Harold and Barry sit on chairs. Manager stands behind table.)

Manager: (Sighs loudly.) This is the last time I’m going to come here and try to get something done!

Harold: Are you sure?

Barry: Positive?

Manager: Yes. (Harold and Barry slap high-fives.) What are you doing?

Barry: Well, we don’t have to pay attention – or do anything, really – because it doesn’t matter. This is the last time you’ll try.

Manager: Let’s try this one more time. This company, Swindlers Employed for Tots, is considering making toy phones.

Harold: So we’ll be phony?

Barry: Certainly looks like it, doesn’t it?

Manager: Barry, could your branch of the company handle the design?

Barry: I don’t have a tree, let alone a branch.

Manager: Quit driving me up trees. Now, Swindlers Employed for Tots is also making Pretty Pink Ponies-

Harold: We have horse sense?

Barry: I thought we had this discussion about sense already.

Harold: Oh, that’s right. In our first meeting.

Manager: (To self.) Breathe deeply! Breathe! Breathe! (Inhales, exhales loudly.) Now then. Swindlers Employed for Tots is partnering with another company called Spineless Books, also known as Borders Without Borders, to produce a series of books designed to encourage kids to read.

Barry: But reading is knowledge-

Harold: And knowledge is power-

Barry: Power corrupts-

Harold: Corruption is a crime-

Barry: And crime doesn’t pay-

Barry and Harold together: So if you encourage kids to read, they’ll go broke!

Harold: That won’t work very well in this economy.

Manager: Oh well. Let’s just go on to the next thing we have to cover. Barns and Nibble provided the cheese and crackers that are in the hallway by the water cooler.

Barry: Why didn’t we partner with Barns and Nibble for the book deal?

Manager: Spineless Books suggested the idea to us. We thought it best to go with them.

Harold: Do they have any backbone at all? (Scribbles on paper, drops it on floor.)

Barry: If they’re bookworms, they don’t.

Manager: Guys! We have stuff to do!

Harold: I vote we adjourn early.

Manager: The motion isn’t on the floor! (Harold points to the floor.) All right, the motion hasn’t been entertained!

Barry: No kidding. I haven’t been entertained either.

Manager: The motion hasn’t been presented!

Barry: If it had been presented, I would have seen it.

Harold: Don’t cause a scene.

Manager: Enough! (Stomps out.)

Barry: Finally. (Barry and Harold exit.)

The Airs of the Toys Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 01:19:00 +0000

I've been at it again! These scripts full of puns are fun to write. I might just write a Part Three (Translation: Probably).

Also, there's more stuff on the Improv Games page. If you haven't checked it in awhile, now's the time (after you read this script, of course).

The Airs of the Toys: Part Two by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Manager

Harold

Barry

Props:

Two chairs

Table

Two papers

(Manager and Barry enter. Barry sits. Manager stands at end of table.)

Manager: When is Harold going to get here?

Barry: How am I supposed to know? I’m not his keeper. (Harold enters.)

Manager: Why didn’t you come earlier?

Harold: It was too late to leave earlier.

Manager: This time, I don’t want any poker games. Understand? All right. Now, if anything is worth doing-

Barry: It would have been done already.

Manager: Come on, you guys.

Barry: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Harold: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before?

Barry: Try again.

Harold: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. Swindlers Employed for Tots, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. How does that sound?

Manager: Stop!

Barry: No, it’s this: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Harold: Oh. My next option was to be Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Manager: Guys, quit!

Barry: Quit making quite so many quiet quilts.

Manager: Listen. The fact is that we need to get to work.

Harold: We’re here already.

Barry: What did you hear?

Harold: I heard about the Acts.

Barry: Why are you talking about a chopping tool?

Manager: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

Barry: No, I’m having trouble listening.

Manager: I’ll go walk in the aisle.

Harold: You’ll have to go a ways to get to an island.

Barry: Yes, she should go away. Then we can play poker.

Manager: Has it occurred to you that you can’t play poker with only two people?

Barry: Other people can’t, but we can.

Manager: (Crosses arms.) And just why can you do that?

Harold: “U” comes before “Y”. Didn’t you study the alphabet?

Barry: No more counting!

Manager: Barry, why did you say that?

Barry: He said, “Be four.”

Manager: We need to get on a ferry-

Harold: Ha! Fairies don’t exist!

Manager: Now, the first phase of the sequence-

Barry: I’m not fazed. Not stunned at all.

Manager: That’s quite a feat.

Harold: No, “feet” is plural. “Foot” is singular.

Barry: I have feet. Last time I checked, anyway.

Manager: I will find-

Barry: Why will you fine us? We haven’t done anything.

Manager: Exactly. As a role model-

Harold: I like cinnamon rolls.

Manager: Don’t interrupt. As an example, I am going to use Isaac Newton. He was sitting under an apple tree one day and an apple fell on his head. Thus, he discovered gravity.

Barry: So doesn’t that mean that we should be outside?

Manager: You wish. We will finish this project, or else.

Harold: I’m not Finnish.

Manager: We have been asked to write a foreword for a book.

Barry: But, relatively, aren’t we all facing forward?

Manager: That’s enough! This won’t be allowed!

Harold: But it is audible.

Barry: Won’t you assent with me, or agree, that we should leave now?

Harold: Why would I climb an ascent with you?

Manager: That’s enough! Now, you need to be discreet in what information-

Barry: (Sings.) Dis Crete…, oh, dis island of Crete…

Harold: Good one.

Manager: You need therapy! I will call a doc for you!

Harold: Why? Do we need a boat?

Manager: (Hands out papers.) Now, here’s a draft-

Barry: I do feel a draft. Is the window shut all the way?

Manager: (Sighs.) Now, here are the facts.

Harold: We have a fax here? Cool! Let’s go play with it! (Harold and Barry run offstage.)

Manager: Ever have one of those days?

(Manager exits.)

The Revenge of the Seniors

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 01:16:00 +0000

Hello,

If you've been waiting for another script from us, wait no longer! I'm posting this one and another one, and Borrik Svenson has one he wrote, so when he posts it (glares in his direction) you'll have plenty of material!

The Revenge of the Seniors by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Sensei

Old

Older

Oldest

Agent

Thug

Props:

Cane

Wheelchair

Newspaper

Gun (a Nerf gun will work)

Scene One:

(Old is standing, but slumped over. Older is using a cane. Oldest is sitting in a wheelchair. Sensei enters.)

Sensei: Now, as part of your activities here at Pushin’ Up The Daisies Senior Center, I will teach a Tung Soo Doo class.

Oldest: But I’m in a wheelchair.

Older: And I’m using a cane.

Old: I’ve got really bad arthritis in hips; I can hardly walk.

Sensei: Well, you can all do at least a couple punches, even if you can’t do any kicks. Since we already warmed up, we’ll start with a front punch. It looks like this (does a front punch). Remember to keep your thumb from sticking out. One! (Nobody does anything.) No, no, no. When I say “One!” you punch like I just did. One! (Everyone punches.) Good. Punch so that, if you were standing opposite some who was your exact height, your fist would hit their nose. Two! (Everyone punches. Agent enters.)

Agent: Hello. I see that you are doing karate. Do you need Swindled Seniors health insurance? It’s only 3000 yen for one month’s health insurance. If you lose a leg, we help you look for it. If you die, we send a condolence card to your family. Any takers? Remember, it’s ONLY 3000 yen! This is a limited time offer- (Sensei pushes Agent out.)

Sensei: Now then, back to the lesson. Remember, put some power behind your punches! Three! (Everyone punches.)Four! (Everyone punches.)

Older: Can we stop now? It’s time for my afternoon nap.

Old: Besides, I’ve got a bridge game to go to.

Oldest: (Cups hand to ear.) What did you say?

Old: (Loudly.) Bridge! I’ve got a bridge game!

Oldest: The bridge is falling down, you say? Oh no!

Older: No! That’s not what he said!

Oldest: What are you talking about now? We need to do something about the bridge! (Sensei shrugs, leaves.) Don’t you realize what a catastrophe this is?

Old: (Really loud.) The bridge is NOT falling down. I only have a bridge game.

Oldest: Well, why didn’t you just say so?

(All exit.)

Scene Two:

(Old is standing, slumped over, reading a newspaper. Thug enters.)

Thug: Hey, old man. How’s it going, dude?

Old: Did you see this story about the new library?

Thug: Who cares about libraries? (Pulls out gun.) Stick ‘em down, pal.

Old: Don’t you mean, “Stick ‘em up”?

Thug: No wonder I haven’t stolen anything yet. (Holsters gun.) Let’s try this again. (Pulls out gun.) Stick ‘em up, pal.

Old: I won’t.

Thug: Tough beans, then. (Starts a front punch. Old blocks it and knocks him to the ground. Thug is unconscious.)

Old: Don’t mess with me. (Old exits.)

Thug: (Sits up, dazed.) I won’t try him again.

(Thug exits.)

Scene Three:

(Older is slowly hobbling along street. Thug enters.)

Thug: Whatcha up to, pal?

Older: Just walking to lunch to eat with some of my friends.

Thug: (Pulls out gun.) Not right now, you’re not. Put ‘em up.

Older: Remember to enunciate. Say, “them”, not “‘em”. (To himself.) Young whippersnappers! Back in my day, we had to pronounce everything right. But now, these crazy kids get away with everything! (To Thug.) Who are you, anyway?

Thug: Oscar, a representative of Swindlers R Us.

Older: Can I see your identification?

Thug: Sure. (Thug reaches into pocket. Older knocks him to the ground. Thug is unconscious.)

Older: Not the brightest crayon in the box. (Older hobbles offstage. Thug sits up, dazed.)

Thug: This feels like déjà vu.

(Thug exits.)

Scene Four:

(Oldest is sitting in wheelchair, dozing. Thug enters.)

Thug: What’s up, old man?

Oldest: The sky.

Thug: Enough with the wisecracks. Put ‘em up.

Oldest: (Cups hand to ear.) What did you say?

Thug: (Loudly.) I said, “Put ‘em up!”

Oldest: Eh?

Thug: (Really loudly.) Put your hands up!

Oldest: Why? Are you the police!

Thug: It doesn’t matter who you think I am! Just put your hands up!

Oldest: Younglings speak so quietly these days.

Thug: Just put your hands up! I need to rob you and get away quickly! (Oldest cups hand to ear. Thug walks closer to him to shout in his ear. Oldest punches Thug to the ground. Thug is unconscious.)

Oldest: Somebody needed to be taught a lesson! (Oldest wheels out. Thug sits up, dazed.)

Thug: Third time’s the charm! (Falls unconscious again, then gets up and exits.)

55 MPH

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 13:50:00 +0000

Script adapted from “You Can Fool All of the People All of the Time” by Art Buchwald

55 MPH Adapted by Katie Schultz

Characters:

Thing One

Thing Two

(Thing One enters and pretends to be driving a car. Thing Two enters and stand behind him, also driving a car.)

Thing One: Ah, a respectable 55 miles per hour.

Thing Two: Come on, Chicken Little, speed it up. If you can’t drive, get the off the road.

Thing One: It might interest you to know that I am within the established speed limit as posted along this US highway.

Thing Two: No one pays any attention to the fifty-five-mile-per-hour speed limit anymore.

Thing One: That’s where you’re wrong. There are many citizens who still observe the law of the land. It

is people like you who are a menace to society.

Thing Two: Get out of the left lane, so I can pass you.

Thing One: If I did that, sir, you would only start speeding and I would become an accessory to a crime. Why are you in such a hurry to get to your destination anyway?

Thing Two: What business is that of yours?

Thing One: I’m curious to know what you’re going to do with all the time you save going twenty miles

an hour faster than I.

Thing Two: I’m trying to get to Culpeper, Virginia, to have dinner with my mother.

Thing One: What kind of mother do you have who won’t give you dinner if you arrive twelve minutes late?

Thing Two: It’s not just me. My brother-in-law and sister and their kids are also coming.

Thing One: I’m glad they’re going to be there.

Thing Two: You don’t even know my bother-in-law and sister.

Thing One: I’m just happy your mother won’t be alone when they come for her, after you hit the wall at eighty miles per hour.

Thing Two: How do you know I’m going to do eighty miles an hour?

Thing One: From the make of your car. People don’t buy sports cars unless they can do eighty miles an hour. I never trust anyone who drives an automobile with only tow seats. He tends to be spoiled by his

mother.

Thing Two: What does my mother have to do with your hogging the left lane?

Thing One: I’m not just thinking of your mother, but of all the mothers who will suffer because of your disregard for the speeding laws. If it were only your life I wouldn’t be concerned with how fast you drive.

But somewhere up ahead is an innocent family, probably going home for Christmas, and I want them to get there in one piece.

Thing Two: It’s not the people who drive fast, but people like you who cause accidents on the highways!

Thing One: Statistics show that the fifty-five-mile speed limit has lowered the death rate by over fifteen

percent. Good heavens, man, if you don’t care for yourself, you could have some regard of the insurance companies. They have mothers, too.

Thing Two: Pull over to the side of the road and we can discuss this like men.

Thing One: I know that trick. I’m wearing a safety belt and I can see in the mirror you’re not. You’ll probably start beating me up before I can get mine unbuckled.

Thing Two: One more time, will you pull out of the left lane so I can pass you?

Thing One: I would, except that I could never enjoy my holidays if something happened to that lovely family up ahead. But I’ll do you a favor.

Thing Two: What’s that?

Thing One: If you give me your mother’s number in Culpeper, I’ll call her up on my cell phone and ask her to hold up dinner until you get there.

(Thing One and Thing Two exit.)

The Airs of the Toys script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 23:14:00 +0000

This is my favorite script, out of the few that I've written. So far, people have really liked it (meaning some of my family, which is obligated to say that it's good, and our improv/acting/goof off group).

The Airs of the Toys by Katie Schultz

Cast:

Manager

Harold

Barry

Props:

Whiteboard

Whiteboard marker

Whiteboard eraser

2 Chairs

Table

Cards

Poker chips

(Everyone enters. All but Manager sit on chairs in a circle. Manager stands by whiteboard.)

Manager: Since you guys are new, let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves. I’m Taylor and I’m the CEO of the company.

Barry: It’s hard to find a tailor these days. How much would you charge to fix this hole in my sleeve?

Manager: (sighs) My name is Taylor. What is yours?

Barry: It’s Barry.

Harold: I like those mixed-berry flavored yogurts. You must also, because your name is Barry.

Manager: You. (Points to Harold.) What is your name?

Harold: Harold.

Barry: Well, at least I’m not one of those loud people who goes around yelling out what time it is.

Harold: I’d rather be that than a blueberry.

Manager: Focus, guys, focus.

Barry: Ford, guys, Ford.

Manager: What?

Barry: You talked about a Focus, so I talked about a Ford. Ford makes Focuses.

Harold: Isn’t that Focusi?

Manager: Stop! Now, I called you all here today because this is the annual meeting of

Swindlers Employed for Tots. We have a lot-

Harold: To sell?

Manager: What?

Harold: You said you had a lot. Where is it and how much is it? I’m interested in one.

Manager: Never mind. As I was saying, we have a bunch of work to cover today, so let’s start. First on the agenda are the heirs of the company.

Barry: Is someone stealing our air? We must stop them before we die of suffocation!

Manager: (Glares at Barry) I meant the people who will take care of the company when we die. They’ve been acting odd lately.

Harold: So would I.

Manager: What?

Harold: I would be in a state of wonder too.

Barry: Can’t you count? Don’t you know that one comes before two?

Harold: Don’t tell me no!

Barry: Oh yeah?

Harold: Yeah!

Manager: Guys! Guys! Pay attention. We have stuff to do! (Draw a line on whiteboard.) Now as you can see, sales are down this quarter. Does any-

Harold: No wonder they are. We don’t sell nautical-type stuff.

Barry: How did you work 25 cents into this discussion?

Harold: Don’t you have any sense?

Barry: Do we sell perfume?

Manager: People! People!

Harold: Life! Life!

Barry: Sports Illustrated! Sports Illustrated!

Manager: Never mind. Wil-

Barry: I’ll keep the one I have, thank you very much.

Manager: (Through gritted teeth.) What is it this time?

Barry: You said never mind. I said that I’d keep my brain. It’s very handy to have around.

Harold: No, it’s not.

Barry: (to Harold) I couldn’t live without it.

Harold: (to Barry) A brain and a hand are two completely different things. Where did you go to school?

Barry: Czechoslavia. I’m a Czech.

Harold: Really? You don’t look like one. I thought a check was a relatively secure form of money.

Barry: Don’t bring your relatives into the picture.

Manager: Let’s change the subject.

Harold: Why do I need to change?

Barry: Your clothes are fine, except for the coffee stain to the right of your tie.

Harold: I didn’t write on my shirt! And I’m not from Thailand! I’m from Iowa.

Barry: Yes, you owe me five dollars.

Manager: Will you stop! (Barry and Harold look at Manager.) We have things to decide about the future of the company today. Now as I was saying (turns to whiteboard) sales are down. Partly, this is (Harold looks really sleepy and lays his head on the table.) because of the economy, and partly because there was a big recall a few months ago and people haven’t trusted us since. Besides improving the quality of our toys, what else can we do? (Turns back around.) Hey! (Walks to Harold.) Wake up! This is a meeting! Pay attention! (Reaches to Harold’s shoulder to shake him awake.)

Barry: Don’t wake him up! He’s got insomnia and he’s trying to sleep it off.

Harold: (Stretches and yawns.) Are we done yet? If we aren’t, where are the donuts?

Manager: (Turns to whiteboard and erases the line and begins writing. Barry and Harold set up a poker game and begin playing while Manager talks.) You guys! I am trying to get stuff done. If you won’t help, you can just leave. This is a toy company. We have to sell toys or we are all in deep trouble. For one thing, none of us will have a job. That means that there will be nobody will be able to feed themselves or their families. It also means that a quite a few people will be unemployed. (Turns around.) For another-hey! What are you doing?

Harold: Playing poker. See the chips?

Barry: This table is perfect for poker. We can organize the chips into the coffee ring stains. (Turns to Manager.) Do you have any guacamole chips? I always think better while eating them.

Manager: No!

Harold: I like eating chocolate chips. I wonder how guacamole and chocolate would taste.

Barry: I don’t think it would taste that good. Try guacamole and salsa sometime.

Harold: Hmm. How about we play poker next Tuesday and you make the guacamole/salsa mixture and I’ll bring chips.

Manager: Leave!

Harold: Thanks for the kind invitation, but we already have the game set up. Will you be quiet so we can concentrate? (Manager leaves in disgust. Harold and Barry high-five, pick up game and leave.)

Improv Practice script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 23:10:00 +0000

Improv Practice written by Katie Schultz

This is based, once again, on a conversation Borrik Svenson and I had. Yes, you should worry.

Captain Dreadnaught: Want to practice improv tonight?

Borrik Svenson: No.

Cap: Why?

Bor: Too busy.

Cap: You’re always too busy.

Bor: Yup.

Cap: It’s impossible to carry on a conversation with you!

Bor: Yup.

Cap: We should put this into script form. (Pulls out paper and pencil, writes.) What did we say after this?

Bor: Don’t know.

Cap: Anyway, why don’t you want to practice improv?

Bor: Because I don’t want to.

Cap: But you want to improve at improv, don’t you?

Bor: Yeah.

Cap: So why don’t we practice now? No time like the present.

Bor: Because I’m going to be eating and I kind of like to eat instead of talk.

Cap: So you can’t carry on a conversation while eating? I don’t care if you talk with your mouth full. I’m not

picky about table manners. (Bor slurps popsicle.) Please? (Bor slurps.) Will you practice improv if I do the dishes?

Bor: Yeah.

Cap: Hmmm…I’ll do the dishes.

Bor: You waited too long. Due to inflation, you have to give me your allowance now too.

Cap: That’s highway robbery!

Bor: This isn’t exactly a highway.

Cap: Not all people have to be bribed to practice improv!

Bor: So?

Cap: Do you realize that we’ve been practicing improv all this time?

Bor: No, we haven’t.

Cap: Yes, we have.

Bor: We’ve just been carrying on a conversation.

Cap: Technically, we’ve been practicing improv.

Bor: Actually, we’ve been carrying on a conversation.

Cap: (frustrated) If you’d just admit that I’m right, this could all be settled.

Bor: I’d rather swallow a live hamster.

Cap: Gross!

Bor: How did this conversation start?

Cap: I, the brilliant one, wanted to practice improv. You did not.

Bor: And you say we’ve been doing improv all this time.

Cap: That’s what I said.

Bor: So, you stole improv practice from me.

Cap: What?!

Bor: I’ll have to contact my insurance company.

Cap: No, you misunderstood. I…uhh…

Bor: See? I win.

Cap: Now wait a minute!

Bor: Nope. I won. (Exits.)

Cap: Sore loser. (Exits.)

Florida Medical Board Call scene

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 23:08:00 +0000

This is a "transcript" of the Florida Medical Board Call scene from the Marx Brothers movie At The Races. The reason transcript is in quotes is because Borrik Svenson and I (Captain Dreadnaught) didn't agree on at least one line. (I still ~~think~~ know I'm right.) Anyway, for your enjoyment:

Transcript of the “Florida Telephone Call” scene from the Marx Brothers movie “A Day At The Races” transcripted by Katie and Will Schultz

Cast:

Groucho

Mr. Whitmore

(Scene starts with Grouch sitting at a desk. Mr. Whitmore is also sitting at a desk with a telephone on the other side of a wall.)

Groucho: (Picks up telephone) Get me Mr. Whitmore.

(Phone rings)

Whitmore: (Picks up phone) Hello?

Groucho: (Pinches nose and talks in a Southern female voice) This is your Florida call, Mr. Whitmore.

Whitmore: All right. (Sits down at his desk)

Groucho: (Talks in a Southern female voice) Florida Medical Board. Good morning.

Whitmore: I’d like to talk to the man in charge of the records, please.

Groucho: Record department? Just a moment, sugar.

Whitmore: (Stares at the telephone in surprise for a moment before putting it back to his ear)

Groucho: (Changes to a Southern male voice) Record department. This is Colonel Hawkins talking.

Whitmore: Colonel Hawkins, did you get a wire from me regarding Dr. Hackenbush?

Groucho: I’m sorry sir, (starts fan on his desk and pushes a paper into it) but there’s a hurricane blowing down here, and you’ll have to talk a little louder. Whooooe! Sure is the windiest day we ever seen or heard! Whooo! Certainly is windy!

Whitmore: (Stars at the phone again for a bit before talking again in a louder voice) I want to know about Dr.

Hackenbush!

Groucho: (Flips switch on the Dictagraph)

Whitmore: (Goes over to the Dictagraph and flips a switch on it, taking the phone away from his ear in the

process) Yes?

Groucho: (Talking into the Dictaphone in his normal voice) Whitmore, you’ll have to cut out all that

squawking! The patients are all complaining!

Whitmore: (Sits back down at his desk and puts the phone back to his ear)

Groucho: (Talking into the phone in his Southern accent) And, uh, ah hope, sir, that’s the information that you

requiah.

Whitmore: I’m sorry, Colonel, I didn’t hear it. I was called to the Dictagraph.

Groucho: What was that you said, suh?

Whitmore: (In a louder tone) I was called to the Dictograph!

Groucho: (Flips on the Dictograph)

Whitmore: (Again goes to the Dictograph, taking the phone away from his ear in the process)

Groucho: Whitmore, one more yelp out of you and I’ll have you bounced outta here!

Whitmore: (Goes back to his desk and puts the phone back to his ear)

Groucho: And, uh, I trust, suh, that that answers your questions.

Whitmore: I’m terribly sorry, Colonel. I didn’t heah you.

Groucho: I can’t hear you. You’ll have to talk a little louder.

Whitmore: (Loudly) I want to find out something about Hackenbush!

Groucho: (Flips on the Dictagraph)

Whitmore: (Goes over to the Dictagraph, taking the phone away from his ear) (Shouts) Well, what is it now?!

Groucho: Whitmore, that’s the last time I want to warn you about that yowling!

Whitmore: (Goes back to his desk and puts the phone back to his ear)

Groucho: And, uh, in conclusion, let me see…

Whitmore: I’m sorry, Colonel. What was that you said about Hackenbush?

Groucho: Hacken- you mean Dr. Hackenbush? Oh no, he’s not heah.

Whitmore: (In a frustrated tone) I know he’s not there. He’s HERE!

Groucho: Then what are you bothering me fo? Yankee!

Whitmore: But I want to know something about his Florida record!

Groucho: (Pinches his nose and talks in a Southern female voice) He’s your Florida call, Mr. Whitmore.

Whitmore: (Yells) Will you get off the line! (Goes back to his normal voice) Hello? Hello, Colonel?

Groucho: (In a Southern male voice) Yes?

Whitmore: Are you sure you’re speaking of Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush?

Groucho: Who?

Whitmore: Hugo Z. Hackenbush!

Groucho: Who’s calling ‘im?

Whitmore: (In a frustrated tone) Standish Sanitarium.

Groucho: Yeah, that’s where he works! Ah understand he’s doing a mighty fine job up there!

Whitmore: I… (Stops, and talks in a barely controlled tone) I want to get some information about his

qualifications for the job.

Groucho: What job?

Whitmore: As Head of the Sanitarium!

Groucho: Who?

Whitmore: (Shouts) HACKENBUSH!

Groucho: (Flips on the Dictaphone)

Whitmore: (You should have the idea by now)

Groucho: Whitmore, are you calling me?

Whitmore: NO, YOU SAP!! (Goes back to his desk) Hello?

Groucho: Yes, now, what was that name?

Whitmore: Hackenbush. HACKENBUSH!!

Groucho: Uh-huh. Well, uh, as soon as he comes in, ah’ll have him get in touch with you.

Whitmore: GAAH! (Slams phone down on the receiver and leaves)

(Both exit)

God vs. "Science"

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:50:00 +0000

God vs. "Science" (made into script by Captain Dreadnaught)

Hi all,
Here is another script for your laughter and, possibly, tears. This is based on an email that has been floating around the internet for quite some time now.

The reason 'Science' is in quotes is because science does not have to be based on an evolutionary viewpoint. For more info, see: http://www.answersingenesis.org/ (A very good site. The museum was good also, especially "Men in White" in the special effects theater.)

God vs. “Science”

Characters:

Professor

One

Two

Others

Props:

Two chairs

Sign that says “Philosophy of Science 101”

Pen

(Professor stands in front of two chairs as if to begin a lecture. One and Two are each sitting in a chair. Sign on wall says “Philosophy of Science 101”.)

Professor: You’re a Christian, aren’t you?

One: Yes, sir.

Professor: So you believe in God?

One: Absolutely.

Professor: Is God good?

One: Sure! God’s good.

Professor: Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?

One: Yes.

Professor: Are you good or evil?

One: The Bible says I’m evil.

Professor: (Smirk) Aha! The Bible! (Pause) Here’s one for you. Let’s say there’s a sick person over here

and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?

One: Yes, sir, I would.

Professor: So you’re good…

One: I wouldn’t say that.

Professor: But why not say that? You’d help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if

we could. But God doesn’t. (Pause, looks at One expectantly.) He doesn’t, does He? My brother was a

Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one? (Pause) No, you can’t, can you? (Pause) Let’s start again. Is God good?

One: Er…yes.

Professor: Is Satan good?

One: No.

Professor: Then where does Satan come from?

One: Umm…from God.

Professor: That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t He? Tell me. Is there evil in this world?”

One: Yes, sir.

Professor: Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything, correct?

One: Yes.

Professor: So who created evil? (Pause) If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil. (Pause) Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?

One: (Squirming) Yes.

Professor: So who created them? (Pause, Others are mesmerized) Who created them? (Paces, turns to Two)Tell me. Do you believe in Jesus Christ?

Two: (Coughs) Yes, Professor, I do.

Professor: Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have

you ever seen Jesus?

Two: No, sir, I’ve never seen Him.

Professor: Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus.

Two: No, sir, I have not.

Professor: Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any

sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?

Two: No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Two: Yes.

Professor: According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you have to say to that?

Two: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.

Two: (Pause) Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes, there’s heat.

Two: And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes, there’s cold too.

Two: No, sir, there isn’t. (Professor and One stare at him) You can have lots of heat, even more heat,

super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything called “cold”. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder that the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what make a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (Pause; one of the Others drops a pen and makes it sound like a hammer) What about darkness, Professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if it isn’t darkness?

Two: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but it you have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? That’s the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: (To audience) This will be a good semester. (To Two) So what point are you making?

Two: My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.

Professor: (Surprised) Flawed? Can you explain how?

Two: You are working with the premise of duality. You argue that there is life and then there’s death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course I do.

Two: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

Professor: (To audience) A very good semester, indeed.

Two: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your own opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher? (Others gasp, then make commotion. When commotion settles down, Two continues) To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean. (Looks around room) Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain? Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt the professor’s brain? (Pause) No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. (Pause) So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?

Professor: (Pause, then to Two) I guess you’ll have to take them on faith.

Two: Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life. Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?

Professor: (Uncertainly) Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

Two: Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.

Professor: (Pause, sits down)

(End scene, all exit.)

Viaduct skit script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:07:00 +0000

Viaduct (transcribed by Borrik Svenson and Captain Dreadnaught)

Here is a transcript of the infamous "Viaduct" scene from the Marx Brothers movie Cocoanuts. What do you think? Borrik Svenson and I (Captain Dreadnaught) shed our blood, sweat, and tears over this. Actually, it's not quite a transcript. We changed it in quite a few places.

(Starts with Groucho walking on stage)

Groucho: (Looks to stage entrance) Come over here, I want to talk to you. (C enters) Now listen to me, I don’t want that red-headed fella running around in the lobby. If you want to keep him in your room, you’ll have to keep him in a trap.

Chico: I can’t catch him.

Groucho: Who is he?

Chico: He’s my partner, but he no speak.

Groucho: Oh, he’s your silent partner. Now I can let you have three lots bordering the front, or three lots fronting the border. That cost me $9000 and I’m going to let you have it for $15,000. Why? Because I like you.

Chico: I’m not going to buy anything.

Groucho: Why not?

Chico: I don’t gotta no money. I don’t gotta one cent.

Groucho: Then how are you going to pay for your room?

Chico: That’s your lookout.

Groucho: Oh, you’re just an idle roomer.

Chico: We come here to make money. We see the paper that says “Big boom in Florida”. So we come. We’re a couple of big booms, too.

Groucho: I’m gonna show you how to make some real money. I’m gonna hold an auction in a little while at Coconut Manor. You do know what an auction is, don’t you?

Chico: Sure. I come over from Italy on the Atlantic Auction.

Groucho: (after a pause) Let’s go ahead as if nothing happened. I said we’re having an auction at Coconut Manor, and when the crowd gathers around, I want you to mingle with them. Don’t pick their pockets, just mingle with them-

Chico: I’ll find time for both.

Groucho: So we can cut out the auction. If somebody says $100 you say $200. If they say $200 you say $300. Right?

Chico: So I speak up?

Groucho: So if nobody says anything, than you start it off.

Chico: Suppose they don’t say anything?

Groucho: Well, they’ll notify you. You fool! If they don’t say anything, you’ll hear them, won’t you? Well, don’t tell them! If we are successful in disposing of these lots, I’ll see that you get a nice commission.

Chico: And how about some money?(pats hand for money)

Groucho: Well, you can have your choice. You know what a lot is?

Chico: Yes. Too much.

Groucho: Not a whole lot, just a little lot with nothing on it.

Chico: Anytime you gotta too much, and you gotta a whole lot. OK, sometimes you have enough, sometimes you don’t have enough, and sometimes a whole lot. Sometimes you think it’s a little bit, but somebody else thinks it’s too much. Too much, a whole lot, a whole lot, too much, same thing.

Groucho: (after a pause) The next time I see you, remind me not to talk with you, will you? It’s gonna be a cinch explaining the rest of this thing to you, I can see that.

Chico: I catch on quick.

Groucho: That’s a rodeo you’re thinking of. All right, Einstein, here’s Coconut Manor. No matter what you say, this is Coconut Manor. Here’s Coconut Manor, here’s Coconut Heights, that’s a swamp, and over here where the road forks is called Coconut Junction.

Chico: Where do you have coconut custard?

Groucho: That’s on one of the forks. You probably eat with your knife, so you don’t have to worry about that. Here’s the main road leading out of Coconut Manor. That’s the road I wish you were on. Now over here is going to be an eye and ear hospital. That’s going to be a sight for sore eyes. Understand?

Chico: Yeah, that’s fine.

Groucho: Now, right over here is the residential section.

Chico: Oh, people live there, eh?

Groucho: No, that’s the stockyard. Now all along here is the riverfront. All along the river, those are all levies.

Chico: That’s the Jewish neighborhood?

Groucho: (after a pause)Why don’t we pass over that. You’re a peach, boy. Now here is a little peninsula, and over here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

Chico: Why a duck?

Groucho: (after a pause)I’m fine, how are you? I said this is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

Chico: All right, why a duck?

Groucho: I say that’s a viaduct.

Chico: All right, why a duck? Why a duck? Why not a chicken?

Groucho: Well, I don’t know why not a chicken. I’m a stranger here myself. I know that’s a viaduct. You try to cross over there on a chicken and you’ll find out why a duck.

Chico: But why-

Groucho: It’s deep water, that’s why a duck. Look here, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and you wanted to ford over. But you can’t. It’s too deep.

Chico: What would you want with a Ford when you got a horse?

Groucho: (after a pause)Well, I’m sorry the matter came up. I just know that that’s a viaduct.

Chico: Listen. I catch on to why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that, but I don’t catch on to why a duck.

Groucho: I was only fooling. I was only fooling. They’re going to build a tunnel there in the morning. Is that clear to you?

Chico: Yes, everything except for why a duck.

Groucho: Well, that’s fine. Now we can go ahead with this thing. Now in the morning, I’m going to take you to our cemetery. I’ve got a waiting list of fifty people at that cemetery just dying to get in. But I like you.

Chico: Yeah, you’re my friend.

Groucho: I like you, so I’m going to show you in ahead of all of them. I want to make sure that you get a steady position. And it’ll be horizontal. And remember, if somebody says one hundred…

Chico: I say two hundred.

Groucho: And if somebody says two hundred…

Chico: I say three hundred.

Groucho: That’s great. You know how to get down there?

Chico: No.

Groucho: (pointing off stage) You go down there, down that narrow path there, until you come to that little jungle there. You see it?

Chico: Yeah.

Groucho: Where all those thatch palms are? You see that little clearing in there with a wire fence around it?

Chico: Yeah, but why a fence?

Groucho: Oh no, we’re not going to go through all that again.

Sorry.

noreply@blogger.com (Village Idot) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 00:01:00 +0000

Sorry it has taken a long time but I am almost done with the script. I have been in Australia for two weeks. I will try to get the scripts finshed by next month so stay tune.

Still working on scripts

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 01:08:00 +0000

Hello all-

New scripts are still in the works. I'm sorry for the wait, but it has taken me forever to find any time to write. Also, I have a bit of "writer's block" right now, but that should clear up soon. So hang in there!

How Far Is It to the Moon? skit script

noreply@blogger.com (Captain Dreadnaught) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:59:00 +0000

As promised, a new script! This one was actually based on a conversation that Borrik Svenson and I (Captain Dreadnaught) had.

How Far Is It To The Moon? by Katie Schultz

2 either

Characters:

Borrik Svenson

Captain Dreadnaught

Props:

Two chairs

Magazine

Sign that says “Dentist the Menace”

(Borrik Svenson sits in chair, staring into space. Captain Dreadnaught enters room and sits down next to Borrik Svenson. Sign hangs on wall.)

Captain Dreadnaught: Nice day, isn’t it?

Borrik Svenson: (Grunts.)

Captain Dreadnaught: Compared to the last few days at least. Say, what are you here for? A root canal?

Borrik Svenson: (Grunts and pulls magazine up to hide face.)

Captain Dreadnaught: That’s what I’m here for. I came last month for fillings, and Dentist the
Menace said that I needed a root canal.

Borrik Svenson: (Sinks in chair.)

Captain Dreadnaught: Are you going to say anything? Or shall I keep talking?

Borrik Svenson: (Ignores Captain Dreadnaught.)

Captain Dreadnaught: Well, I WILL talk to you, even if you don’t talk to me. (Stands triumphantly.) Captain Dreadnaught never gives up!

Borrik Svenson: (Groans.)

Captain Dreadnaught: (Sits down.) So, how far is it to the moon?

Borrik Svenson: (Puts down magazine and sighs.) Long ways.

Captain Dreadnaught: I know that. How many miles is it?

Borrik Svenson: “It” is a short word. Not even a whole mile long.

Captain Dreadnaught: That’s not what I mean! How many miles is it to the moon?

Borrik Svenson: Forty-two.

Captain Dreadnaught: No, no, no! It’s much longer than that!

Borrik Svenson: But forty-two is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Captain Dreadnaught: (Crosses arms.) Where on earth did you learn such a crazy answer?

Borrik Svenson: Have you ever read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?

Captain Dreadnaught: The first six pages or so. Why?

Borrik Svenson: (Surprised.) You’ve never read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?

Captain Dreadnaught: No, I have not.

Borrik Svenson: Never?

Captain Dreadnaught: No! I have never read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy! Now what is this all about, anyway?

Borrik Svenson: In that book, a supercomputer decides the answer to life, the universe, and everything to be forty-two.

Captain Dreadnaught: But it’s not the distance to the moon!

Borrik Svenson: So the distance to the moon is nothing?

Captain Dreadnaught: No!

Borrik Svenson: First you say that the answer to everything does not answer the question about the distance to the moon. Now you say that the distance to the moon is not nothing. Will you make up your mind?

Captain Dreadnaught: Yes. The answer to life, the universe, and everything, is not the answer to EVERYTHING.

Borrik Svenson: Blasphemer!

Captain Dreadnaught: All I want to do is carry on a normal conversation. Is that too much to ask?

Borrik Svenson: Hypocrite!

Captain Dreadnaught: Sheesh! Some people are so quiet! Now, let’s try this again. How far is it to the moon?

Borrik Svenson: Go look it up.

Captain Dreadnaught: (Smiles smugly.) Don’t you know the answer?

Borrik Svenson: Yes, but I prefer to read my magazine. In peace. That means no talking. (Pulls magazine up to hide face.)

Captain Dreadnaught: Aren’t you going to tell me?

Borrik Svenson: Nope.

Captain Dreadnaught: Then I will go look it up! (Leaves room.)

Borrik Svenson: Finally.

(End scene, Borrik Svenson exits.)

That's Right!

noreply@blogger.com (Village Idot) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 01:04:00 +0000

New scripts! In fact I am working on them right now!
So rember to stay tune!

New scripts coming up!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:52:00 +0000

Do you like our current scripts? Are you done with them and waiting for more?

Well, our script writers (of which I am one) are at it again with some new ideas in the works. I can't give out any hints, but they will be good. Trust me on this one.

Hopefully we will have them on our blog sometime in the near future. So stay tuned!