Varys smiled. “Here, then. Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less.”

I always have a hard time explaining to anyone who asks me what’s to be gained by watching movies or reading a work of fiction. I just tell them,

“When you’re looking for answers that nobody has, you cannot afford to miss a single place.”

via Goodreads | Quote by George R.R. Martin: “Oh, I think not,” Varys said, swirling the wine…”.

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• Run towards what they want
• Run away from what they don’t want
• Run along with the herd
• Run into and against the herd

When it comes to making mistakes, I’ve always been in he second group of people. I ignore, avoid, deflect everything that I am not sure of. And it has served me well to avoid clutter, extraneous things and things I’m not good at. Why would I try to learn how to ski when I don’t like being in cold outdoors far away when I can just sit at home and improve my fairly decent chess skills, right?

The problem is, one gets used to the comfort in the comfort zone. Gee, that’s why they call it the comfort zone after all. And growth lies only outside what’s familiar, what’s comfortable and what’s known. But nothing stunts growth more than constantly trying to avoid making mistakes. No kid ever learned to walk without bumping into things, hurting himself and just plain falling on his face trying to get up every time.

And as far as getting comfortable with making mistake goes, I remember I worked for a teacher years ago and he said this to me one day I made a mistake,

“So, you goofed up! What you did was wrong and you know that now, right? I won’t scold you for it. I don’t mind when my people make mistakes. Just remember this– when you realise you’ve made a mistake, contemplate, reflect on it and learn from it. You know there a gazillion different things you can do wrong everyday? Just once you’ve made a mistake, don’t repeat it again or else I’ll kick your butt. Make a new mistake everyday. Don’t ever repeat them.”

It has stayed with me all these years somewhere in the background of my consciousness. Perhaps, it’s time to bring it forward and this post is an attempt to do that. That, and to express my gratitude for that lesson.

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The hardest thing to accept when trying to change is the fact that you will change. There is no other situation where one so badly wants to both meet and prevent the outcome. To change means to be something you are not already. One cannot change and still be what one is already. Of all the difficulties one faces in trying to change, this is the biggest I think.

Change is hard. But it does not need to be.

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Honesty, in this journey, has become more and more important by the day for me. Honesty among all people but in particular, among people that stand to affect you in some way is a very important but underrated quality. People at work, neighbours, friends and/or relatives that observe you and critique you, let’s call these people ‘friends’ regardless of what they really are, for friendship is the best of all relations one makes. It turns out, and many people seem to know this but I’ve only recently discovered it, that people love living in groups of people that are almost of equal stature. And if one particular person tries to better oneself much more than the rest of the group, one faces nothing but discouragement from the rest because most people would rather bring one to their level than rise up to theirs. And in a group like anywhere else, if it is one against many, the one either succumbs to peer pressure compromising ones personal growth or dares to move on from the group and continue bettering oneself. It is easy to see why most cases eventually have the former ending. Our need to be with people that like us are far greater than our need to better ourself. So it requires a great deal of courage to leave the familiar faces and onto your own journey. Perhaps, on the way, one finds another group much more equal now to ones grown abilities but one can never be sure that it would last either.

It works the other way round too. Because the group would rather have everyone on almost the same level, one is also forgiven a lot of mistakes. Group members try not to be too critical of their own kin and they exaggerate the mistakes of someone from another group if one member of their group was in conflict with them. This makes the group feel like a secure and protected place to be in, of course, but growth happens outside not inside of ones “comfort zone”. If group members always try to ignore each other’s mistakes because in turn, it guarantees that their own mistakes would not be punished either, it is far too comfortable a place to grow. And it’s not honest.

What’s one to do? I cannot possibly presume to know the answer mostly because it can depend on context a lot of times what’s the right thing to do and even then one can never be sure. But I think, as a good default, the truth can lower the burden by a lot. I’ve come to appreciate, and not by experiencing it frequently but more by the lack of it really, when friends tell each other how bad they suck. It’s unfortunate that I don’t have friends like that and more unfortunate even when I look around and I see not a lot of people have friends like that. We are a society based on comfort and convenience. And while there’s nothing wrong with that as long as it does not get preferred over what’s right and necessary, we should all be alright I guess. As far as the unfortunate reality goes for most of us, I think I’d try to be that friend first for people that matter and hope that I’d be told the bitter hard truths too along the way myself that save me years and years of failure to otherwise learn from on my own. And if I don’t find enough people like that, it wouldn’t be too bad to get rid of the existing ones that won’t change. Over time, a circle will emerge with carefully selected friends that most of all do each other a favour by speaking nothing less than the cold hard truth.

Life’s tough. That’s why it’s important that we are tougher.

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For the sake of this experiment, I am going to consider Apple as the company that makes it happen. I’ve two reasons for picking Apple. Reason one is very objective, which is that I cannot think of any technology company today more prepared than Apple to tackle this problem. When I say ‘prepared’, I don’t mean with the right amount of resources at hand, which granted Apple has a lot, but the right area of focus. Two things stand out about Apple. Firstly, Apple has always been individual-focused— putting the consumer of their products first and designing things around their needs. Secondly, Apple is one of the few companies that is known for and has the distinct advantage of ‘seamless integration’ across all their products, owing to the fact that they create the hardware and software themselves and they are very directly responsible for most of the services their products use as well. And as we move more towards contextual computing, the focus on the individual with a seamless integration of everything that the individual uses becomes more important than ever. Reason two for picking Apple is a little subjective and I shall discuss it at the end of the article. Let’s start with the experiment now, shall we?

As we stand today in 2013, we deal with computing devices in different shapes and sizes which are all capable of doing many similar things. The world of technology is emerging and bringing the internet to everything that one uses and they are calling it ‘The Internet of Things’. That is still happening, but the problem I am more interested is what we already face. We have different devices that we deal with every day, which can do the same things in more or less the same way. If we only talk of computers, both desktops and laptops, phones and tablets, just think of the numerous that you can do with each of them. For the most part, all computing devices are used for three primary things:

1. Consuming content
2. Creating content
3. Communication

When it comes to creating content, which involves writing articles like these or entire books, editing a movie or creating an animated one, composing and editing music among other things, the computer is the king. We are gaining more power with every iteration of a mobile device, like the iPhone, or the iPad, but for the most part and for most creations, computers are key. Then comes consumption of content in which these mobile devices have an upper hand already. It is so convenient to have your iPhone or iPod with you when you are travelling to consume your music, podcasts or even to read books, which is a lot better if you have something like the iPad. The biggest advantage the mobile devices have when it comes to consumption is, well, the mobility, and also the fact that you hold the content in your hand. There is nothing like it! Anyone who has tried to read an entire book on a computer, even a notebook computer, knows how different it feels that reading one on an iPad. Finally, we have, communication, and again the mobile devices win there mainly due to the fact that they are always with us. However, there are other things that one can do on any of their devices without much difference or based on personal preferences. Like, for example, a lot of people don’t mind using the iPad to write long articles and long emails but some others always prefer a keyboard. And even when it comes to that, some would add a Bluetooth keyboard to their iPads or even iPhones while others would just go back to using their Macs for typing anything long. Then there are things like browsing the web or reading email, which can be done quite elegantly on any device. There are a lot of decisions to be made before one can actually do something with these devices.

“I am more than my devices”

And that decision-making is part of the problem. Let’s say I own a 27“ iMac, a 13” MacBook Pro, an iPad and an iPhone, and I am in my room thinking of emailing a friend about this new idea which just struck me that would change the world. I am most severely distracted by having to make a decision about which device to use to compose a simple email consisting of a few lines. At first, I might think the iPhone would be the right choice given that it is in my hand because I just used it to reply to a text message. However, I might then decide to use the iPad which sits across the table considering that I might write a little more and it will be easier to type on the bigger screen. But then, being the overtly elaborate person that I am, I might decide to pluck my MacBook Pro from the bag and type on it because I like typing on a physical keyboard when it comes to long emails. Also, considering that I never shut down my notebook, I just have to take it out, open it, launch the email app and I am ready to go. And then my eyes get a glimpse of the iMac just before it notifies me of a friend’s Facebook update, the same friend I wanted to email to. And I think, perhaps I should check his update and then start writing on the iMac itself and not bother taking out the MacBook Pro from the bag. With a big screen, of course, I can have Facebook, the Mail app and iTunes playing a Beethoven symphony all sitting side by side very comfortably. And as I begin to write, I have almost forgotten why I was so excited about this idea and now it just seems mediocre at best for I can’t remember much of the details. And the moment just passes by. And the world will not change. Actually, it would anyway but I won’t have anything to do with that change. And that makes me realise how all these devices are supposed to help me do things better but instead just end up creating new problems to deal with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against technology, in fact, I am much of a cheerleader when it comes to that. But I am also on the side of things where I see the flaws in existing technology that makes it more of a burden than a benefit.

So, we come to the first problem that we must solve creatively to usher in to the contextual era. The solution is to always put the individual first. Anything that happens is caused by or happens to an individual instead of a device and the device that event happens on is just an attribute. This requires all our devices to be smart enough to talk to each other letting them know who is being used and to do what, at the very least. Let’s look at some examples of what I mean by that. I am on my desk, working on my Mac. I get tired and decide to go out for a little walk. So I lock my Mac and leave my top-secret, world-changing work safely. Now, if the Mac and the iPhone could talk to each other, the iPhone could very well tell the Mac, “Hey, the master and I are leaving, I don’t know where to, but you better lock yourself so no one can look at anything confidential, okay pal?” and the Mac would know when to lock and unlock itself based on the proximity of the iPhone. Nothing fancy, very basic security. Here’s another scenario, if I have the iPhone in my pocket and I am working on the Mac and I get an email. It is most likely that I’ll open the email on the Mac as I am working on currently. Thanks to IMAP, the email I read or delete on one device is marked as such on all other devices. But I go back to my iPhone later to see the notification for the email still there. If only the Mac could tell all my devices, “Hey you all! The master just read _this_email on myself at current time. Just wanted to let you all know.” That would make things a lot easier. Lets look at an iPhone-specific example.Suppose when I get a text message or a phone call, the iPhone could tell the current device I am working on to display a notification alerting me about the text message/phone call I am receiving presently. And because both the iPhone and Mac have my contacts and email, the Mac can be smarter in displaying the notification. Along with the name and picture of the person calling, it could show the messages I’ve received from or sent to that person in the last two days, over IM or email or Facebook or Twitter. That way, before I’ve even answered the call, I’ll have a context of what might be the call regarding. And of course, I can receive and end the call from the Mac itself using its speakers and built-in microphone if I so choose to. Therefore, I would not have to go in to my pocket, take out the iPhone, handle the call, put it back and continue working on the Mac. Also, it can be a user-preference on the iPhone to disable the ringtone and vibration when I am working on another device capable of talking to the iPhone. That would result in lower usage of battery and also reduce the places you’d get notifications from. Now, technically, in case of the email both the devices receive the email but the main device alerts the other not to notify the user whereas in case of a phone call, only the iPhone receives the notification which it then passes to the Mac to show to the user. But to the user, it is transparent. There is always one device the user is using and that is the one which gets all the notifications. And the way to implement this would be a simple master-slave setup. The device that the user is currently working on declares itself as the master to all the other devices. This causes them to go into a slave-sleep state whereby any notifications they receive are automatically transferred to the master. Then it is up to the master to decide what to do with the notifications. A master like the Apple TV can decide to show the picture and name of the person, but it does not have other information like the social whereabouts and emails so it can choose to ignore that unlike the Mac. The Mac, on the other hand, could possibly receive the same notification itself like for the email and then can choose to ignore the one from the iPhone. Also, as the master is aware of its capabilities, it can present an action to the user appropriately. The Mac can allow the user to receive the call on the Mac itself, which it does by sending a request to the slave to pass the call through. The Apple TV does not have a microphone so it can avoid showing such an action. To summarize, the slave informs the master of everything that happens to it and the master can decide what to do with the information. The master can also choose to request the slave to perform a service that it is capable of. Another point to note here is that the device does not necessarily have to be sleeping to become the slave. One might very well be watching a video or listening to music on the Apple TV whilst working on the Mac i.e. one device is still passive while other is actively used. Or one could be working on the Mac while having a chat with a colleague on the iPad i.e. both devices are actively being used. In such cases, two things can happen. Either the devices decide between themselves which should be master based on certain rules like the kind of work being done and a device-based priority or as we discuss later, the secondary device can become a second screen in which case it is automatically demoted to being the slave. So almost everything happens automatically but the user can always override which is master.

So how do the devices know they belong to me, and therefore must always focus on me? Simple. They all have a common ID that belongs to me. I login with my ID on all my devices and they just know. All devices support iCloud already. That should be the one that ties them together. And I, as an individual, can then become more powerful than the device. Any app or any service that wants to send me a notification, would send me a notification without having to worry about what device I’ll receive it on. That would require two changes on the devices. First, the notification part— Apple has already solved it beautifully on the iOS side. As the apps can’t always be running in background on a mobile device, they don’t have the ability to directly send notifications to the user. Instead, they register with Apple’s Push notification service which gathers all notifications for the user and shows them in the notification centre and on the lock screen. Now, if the Mac got the same treatment for the apps, that would make it perfect. Right now, apps on the Mac have to be running for them to send notifications. That is to say, most apps. Calendar on the Mac can send notifications without being running as it has a daemon running in the background. Also, Twitter and Facebook have no apps but just live in the notification centre and share sheets, so they notify always. But for things like Mails or Messages or anything else, the app must be running to notify the user. Instead, if they all used Apple’s push notification server like iOS, the Mac could notify the user without any app running at all. And the server won’t need to know which device the user is using as the devices decide amongst themselves. The server would just push the notification to the user’s iCloud ID and whichever device is the master, gets the notification. The master could then decide if the slaves get the notification or not. By default, only the master would get the notification. Let’s assume a case where the user gets a phone call, sees the notification on the Mac and decides not to answer the call right now, and instead sends a text message back to the caller saying that he’d call later. So in that case, the Mac can choose to let the iPhone retain that notification of the call so that when the user decides to return the call, he may not have his Mac around, he may be outside and the notification on the iPhone would then remind him to call back on the chosen number. Another case where this is important would be for iMessages. The user receives an iMessage on the Mac and replies to it there and has a conversation. Later he might want to continue the conversation on his iPad in the car. So such messages can be distributed to all slaves as per the master’s discretion.

The second part is how the devices would talk to devices of people I interact with regularly, like say, my kids and my spouse. The important thing to remember is that everything is going to be dealt with on an individual basis and not on a device basis. So every individual has unique devices that belong to him/her. And individuals related to each other in some way can decide to share things with each other. But, what about devices that two people share? Like me and my wife would probably share the iMac to do certain things but have separate iPads. Simple. We would have separate user accounts on the computer and they’d act as virtual devices. So if I am not logged in to my user account on that Machine, that is as good as the unique iPhone/iPad that is sleeping and not being used.

What can be done with shared devices?

Remember, the devices or services are not shared. People have relationships and that determines what they want to share with each other. Say, for example, the wife receives a phone call from an old friend who wants to meet soon and she wants to confirm if I am free on the weekend. At that point, I am in a different room, on a different floor, working on my Mac. She can choose to transfer the call to me and I’d receive a call just like any other except that it would notify me visually that this was a call transferred to me by my wife. Or she can choose to conference me in so we can all talk together. Now, how is this different from a phone conference? Well, this is where it gets interesting. What if my iPhone has no coverage? Or is out of battery? A conference call in that case would be impossible. But now, as we’ve removed the layer of devices and we just deal with the person, my wife just conferences me in and her device automatically notifies my master device, the one I am currently interacting with, to handle the call. And because the devices talk to each other there is no need for me to have cell coverage on the iPhone to be able to take this call. Obviously, we need something to connect each other with. In the office or at home, it could easily be the local wifi network. And outside, it could work over the internet. In fact, it could also connect as a peer when there is no wifi just like AirDrop does. That, of course, means the devices all have to be in the same room to talk to each other. And to the user, it’s all transparent.

“AirPlay is no child’s play”

When the devices can talk to each other, why not let them have a good conversation every now and then, eh? Right now, AirPlay does one thing, and it does it well. It allows one to transmit what one sees or hears on one device to another device. That requires some devices to work as AirPlay receivers while others work as senders. For example, the Apple TV or an Airport Extreme connected to speakers or other AirPlay enabled speaker systems are AirPlay receivers while others, like the iPhone, iPod, iPad and the newer MacBooks are senders. What if it was bi-directional and added an additional functionality we’ll call ‘AirPlay actions’? Let’s discuss the direction first. We’ve already been talking of the devices talking to each other. So what do they use to talk to each other if not AirPlay? Well, exactly! AirPlay, of course! It’s just that instead of transferring audio and video, AirPlay can transfer any kind of content and in either direction. That’s what makes all that we have discussed so far possible. So devices use AirPlay to tell each other who’s the current master, share notifications amongst themselves, tell the master what services it can offer when requested, so that the master can call upon them as required, and also share other types of user content besides audio and video, like text. And AirPlay will use whatever is available to communicate with the other devices of a user. So if it’s the iPhone and the user is outside, it can use cellular data, if in the office or home, the wifi network; and if devices are nearby, direct wifi like AirDrop. This would make it convenient to send messages to other people as well. Like for example, I send a message to my wife about dinner plans for tonight. If she’s at home reading a book on her iPad, she’ll get it on the iPad. If she’s driving back from work in her car, and we’ve not talked about other devices but a car could be one of the devices, her iPhone could get the message as the car has no connectivity. But the car and iPhone can talk to each other and as the car is being driven right now it declares itself as the master. So the iPhone passes the message along to the car which can then pause the radio and read the message aloud for the wife.

So that’s AirPlay with bi-directional support and using any network that’s available. The other biggie— AirPlay Actions. One of the most under-rated features of OS X is AppleScript which allows one to talk to any AppleScript-aware app and make it do things repetitively, schedule them or create an entire workflow using a combination of apps. With devices being demoted to just being devices and the person being the most important entity, AirPlay Actions could create a way for devices to talk to each other and now ask each other to perform user-defined tasks. This is important because the user should not have to pick a device as far as possible before he is able to do something. Sometimes it could be because it causes distraction as discussed before, other times it is not possible to access the other device like when one’s in a train. Let’s take an example. The user is in the train reading an article on his iPhone and he suddenly gets an email with a couple images that need some processing before they can be uploaded to his website. The iPhone, as it stands today, is capable of downloading and displaying images from the email, editing the images using apps on the device itself as well as uploading the images to a website either using the web browser or probably an app. But there are things that a Mac can still do better. If it is more than just simple editing and retouching, the Mac is the only device the user can use because it can run something like Photoshop. Batch-editing is also possible on the Mac because of its more powerful processor, as well as the ability to write scripts to work on a lot of files and perform similar actions automatically. Also, downloading and uploading a lot of hi-res images over cellular costs a lot more than it would on the home broadband network. This is where AirPlay Actions can change the way one thinks of working amongst devices. Without having physical access to the Mac, the user can, on the iPhone, ask the Mac to download all images from this particular email. The user can then ask the Mac to apply the usual scripts the user uses for such images which might do some cropping, resizing, thumb-nailing, sharpening and anything else in Photoshop or any other app. And finally, use another script to upload them all to the website and when it’s done just notify the user back. That way, when the user is back home, all the work is prepared for him already. Of course, one can use remote desktop to share the screen of the Mac and do the same things. But here’s the difference— cellular data used for remote desktop screen sharing for about 20 minutes v/s a few text commands sent to a Mac. Also, the difference between zooming and pinching on an iPhone to view a Mac’s screen and pressing buttons to do things remotely is huge. And of course, not everyone wants to use scripting to do a lot of their work, although that’s the only possible way to do a lot of automation, but the system can provide a lot of predefined actions that it can perform. Like, one can buy a movie on the iPhone while in the train to watch tonight and ask the Mac to download it right now so when one is home, the movie waits there for him. Or one can ask the Mac for a file that one wants to look at from the device which could be anything— a pdf, an ebook, a presentation, etc. Or one can ask the iPhone/iPad from the Mac to become a keyboard or a trackpad if the user’s batteries for the keyboard/mouse go out. Or one might ask the iPad to act as a secondary screen for the Mac for a more productive environment. And whether the devices are in the same room or on the same wifi network or anywhere else in the world, it would all work transparently to the user.

There are a lot more things one can do once all devices can talk to each other that we are not even discussing; it has already been a very long article. An interesting thing is this— the Apple TV can know if the kids are in the room and automatically enable parental controls disabling stuff that’s not suitable for kids. Or devices being smart enough to know my context all the time so when I text my wife, “Where are you?”, her iPhone can automatically tell me her current location and also where she’s going. Of course, there are also many issues that we did not discuss, like the above example definitely requires permission from the wife for always or perhaps, a manual way for her to talk to the phone to allow the details to be shared on an individual basis. Also, when you put in other things that are all becoming smart like the refrigerator, car, washing machine, home security system, running shoes, and even clothes, things are taken to an entirely new level. And the whole beauty of all this is everything just needs to be able to talk to other devices and for the most part, that’s all. It can then ask a more capable device to do the heavy-lifting for it. My clothes can have sensors that monitor my heart rate, blood pressure and other health-related stuff but they don’t have to store or analyze anything, they just send it to any device that can take it and that device like the iPhone or the Mac can do lots of magic with it.

To sum it up, two philosophical changes are required in the usage of things. One, everything is done by or done to a person and not a device, the device only acts as the medium. Two, a person performs actions independent of the device that he has access to at present.

Coming back to the second reason for choosing Apple. I started writing this a day or two before February 24, Steve Jobs’ birthday. And I wanted to post this by that day as a tribute to his life and work. I did finish writing it on time but couldn’t get around editing it for publishing any sooner. It turned out to be quite a long post, probably, the longest I’ve ever published. So, I want to thank everyone who sticked around to read it in its entirety.

And here’s to Steve Jobs, the guy who put soul into products and art into our hands.

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As he came closer, he began to slow down until eventually he stopped. It aroused a little curiosity in me. I turned my head towards him so I can see better than I could from the corner of my eyes. He extended his hand to the sitting old man, apparently asking for money. He looked into his eyes, not with an attitude that an inferior might carry, but of expectation as if demanding something this was his. And it worked. The guy gave him a few coins, I’d assume about 5 rupees. And then he kept walking.

It reminded me of myself years ago, when I had just joined college and had to use the train everyday. I was very annoyed to have to deal with beggars every time I was at the station as it is quite a norm to find them there. On second thought, I was not as annoyed as I was unsure of the correct way to deal with the situation and hence, uncomfortable. Over the years, I’ve had many discussions about it, a few arguments as well with most of my friends and at times even with beggars themselves. And I’ve learned that if one is of the opinion that giving them money is encouraging them to continue begging, like I am, then the best option is to ignore them completely. A lot of practice has made this an unconscious habit now. So, as he was passing me by, I turned my head the other way, so as not to make direct eye contact. However, I could still see from the corner of my eye that he wasn’t going to ask me or anyone else standing beside me for any money. He just kept walking. After walking about fifteen steps, he stopped in front of another bench, this time where a few old women were sitting and chatting. He looked, no, stared for about 6 seconds before he extended his hand towards them and he did so in the same fashion as before. The women refused to give him any money though. And he did not push it any further. He just looked ahead and kept walking, seeming to be in control of the situation, as if that rebuttal was expected. He walked slowly with his stick and one slightly bent leg but he left with grace and without losing face.

I boarded the train that was now here and I couldn’t help but think of what I had just witnessed. So I took my notepad out and started writing. I kept thinking of reasons why he was so selective with the people he chose to ask for money. Perhaps, he was good at reading body language and he could get by the expression on somebody’s face if they’d offer him something or not. Or maybe, he was too proud to beg and found little spurts of courage only once in a while to humble himself and extend his hand I fancy to believe in the former theory as it sounds more exciting to me. But whatever the reason might be, one thing fascinates me as I just thought of it— one extends ones hands both when asking for help, in this case begging, and when offering help figuratively. That must mean something, right? May be it doesn’t. Maybe it does. I don’t believe in co-incidences. So, I’ll believe and leave you to figure it on your own. Another thing about the incident that didn’t excite me much, made me a little sad actually, was how the bum had more grace than most people I meet everyday. He begged because he had to or perhaps he was used to. I am not to judge him for that. But he was selective. He believed that he could afford to be selective. And just the previous day, someone talked about being so desperate for money that he mentioned he’d take money thrown at him like a dog. And one would say he had enough money! What contrast! Most of us in life are defaulters. We default to whatever is the trend or whatever people around us are doing . We default to habits and attitudes because we find them normal just as everyone else does. But to go against the flow, to make a choice that no one can and to select rather than accept everything requires courage. If a beggar can, why can’t we? To him, he’s not a beggar but to us he is. And to me? He was a hero, in his own way. My hero for the day.

Note: I wrote this a few months ago but couldn’t get around to posting it here.

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Spare me the compassionate father routine, Pop. The suit don’t fit.

Ruined father-son relationship.

Ruined brother-brother relationship.

Another ruined father-son relationship.

Underdog-forerunner theme.

Noble cause v/s family.

Anger/Aggression v/s Dedication/Endurance.

Oh. And Tom Hardy never disappoints.

 I think I liked you better when you were a drunk.

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Apple believes the future is invented by the people who don’t give a shit about the past.

via Rands In Repose: Someone is Coming to Eat You

I agree.

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I’ve always held a high regard for one of the greatest scientists this planet has ever seen. He was like the Batman. In that, he was more than just a scientist. He invented things and tried to make this world a better place and never bothered about his reputation. I first read about his real story in a Linda Goodman book and then, he was everywhere. I think the world owes him a word of gratitude, if not anything more.

It is not what I am underneath that matters but what I do that defines me.

-The Batman

Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived – The Oatmeal.

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And then I hear your voice on the phone
Assuring me that I’m not alone
The noise in the background fades away
We begin to talk, with hardly anything to say
Before long, you start to yawn
Exhausted you are, and so am I
I catch a breath, and oh you’re gone
Before I could even say goodbye!

My mind stays engrossed with the things we say
And more with the things you never talk about
What good am I if I cannot comfort you?
When it makes no difference, if you are with or without
me and my love
What good are our talks, if only of merry times?
When we can’t open up our hearts
trust and say it all

Take my hand, for I care
More than I will ever say
Accept me, and I promise
I’ll be there, come what may.

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@AmitManuja And you might want to begin by following people you find interesting. Like celebs or politicians. Whatever is your cup of tea in reply to AmitManuja #

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I seek with love
My joy to come,
Patient like a dove
Hidden in blossom.

I long to love
The worthy one,
Squaring in style
My forlorn sun.

If this be fruitless
No one’ll I ever love,
Not the devil from below
Nor the angel from above.

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She stared at me for long, without pause,
With her eyes, she poured her vulnerable heart.
I’d longed too, to share what was inside,
It was intense and I knew not where to start.

My loving heart had grown cold, icier than ice;
A thousand fiery fires could not have possibly melt,
Nor a million ton of iron could have crushed to see through.
Deeper than the deepest sea of Neptune was felt what was felt.

Wallowing in my oblivion, I’d longed to be understood,
To her, I explained myself, once and twice and thrice.
Who would ever understand my obscure self
When all know the worth of water, all here but ice?

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The first time you uttered those meaningless words,
I heard not one, but I heard you.
Up we went to the sky, flying like birds,
And like fishes we swam, deep in the vast ocean blue.

Before I even met you, in my heart, I knew
You had come to put an end to my despair.
You, who is old like oak, yet inspiringly new,
The one with almond eyes, and the scorpion stare.

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@vibhurishi Why don’t you call me sometime & we can discuss about organising your workflow? 9665855741 – Ask for Rishi when you call #

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I have tried a few times to come back and write both here saving half-written posts in drafts and in my mind where things don’t stay but they don’t leave either. I cannot find a way to express mys-elf right now. Not to people around me, not here, and not even to mys-elf.

Understand that silence does not always mean that there is nothing to be said. It often can mean that there is more to be said than can actually be said, sometimes due to fears of our own and other times due to the lack of understanding and an earnest ear to hear it. I shall be back again when I’ve found a better outlet. Till then, I am withdrawing mys-elf from this.

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When I drink coffee or tea, it has to be hot. My throat needs to feel the heat inside. Otherwise, it is like I never had anything.

The computer has become nothing but a tool. Entertainment has the highest priority with which I have no particular problem but it should not be hogging all my time.

Practicing the guitar does not come to mind when I feel bored and am sitting idle. And when I am with someone and doing something, a side look at it lying there makes me feel guilty.

Books, I try to read but they make me fall asleep. During the day or the night. There’s no difference. I have not been able to read anything for more than 30 minutes without feeling the urge to sleep. At times I’ve given in and slept but I have learnt how to ignore it too. But the reading cannot be continued after that.

The dream phase is here again. I can again remember my dreams. They are not as bizarre as they have been before but they still lack meaning. There is again a blank face there. It’s confusing and frustrating. So I tend not to think much of it during the day. And I forget about it in a day or two. But I want to document everything.

Material desires have been very overwhelming. I have things and I want things. But what I really need is peace. And some love. I need to be pushed. I need to be kicked. I need to be made aware of mys-elf.

I talked to her again. I’d have hardly imagined anything going right, but it was wonderful.

I’ve been putting things off quite a lot lately. My friends don’t complain when I do. But I know that I need not test their patience.

I have to learn to find balance between giving in love and desiring in love. It’s all topsy-turvy. I cannot accept the apology. But I cannot fail to be empathetic either.

I have not written long emails in a long time. Sigh.

Somewhere between the totally subconscious state of free association writing and the completely conscious process of drafting-writing-editing, this is written.

P.S. I dwell on promises made to me and assurances given too. Is it wrong to expect a person to fulfill what they promised even if currently they are not very capable of doing it? I wonder what’s the point of a promise then.

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Haunt me! Drive me mad! Take any form but come to me!
Take me with you, only do not leave me in this abyss
Where I cannot find you; where there’s not a single joy for me.
I shall live, die and not utter a sigh, if you were to come back, only to say good bye.

Oh Cathy! You were my only joy on earth and I ask not for more,
Don’t find me unsuitable to be with, now that you’re no more!
Talk to me and let me hear that alluring voice again
Say my name, oh for once, and ease me of all my pain

Come hither dear Cathy, my love,
Come from the land beneath or the sky above!
Bring me not joy or peace, for they mean not a thing to me,
Just come to me, you’re all I wish to see.

My body aches from the pain of revenge and sullenness,
And my soul longs to unite with it’s other-half.
I forgave my murderer but yours I could not!
Come, if only to seek revenge, it’s better than naught!

Your soul shall not rest in peace for a moment
While I shall live, and I’ll keep summoning you,
In hopes to save me from myself, from this life I so loathe.
Come once Cathy! Either murder me or give me the will of a life anew!

Written from the point of view of Heathcliff who cannot bear the separation from his other half, Cathy. He longs to see her again after she’s gone and imagines the time when she died.

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And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

Thomas Wayne asks this question to his young lad, who was to one day grow up to become a vigilante, a hero and perhaps more than that. Behind that mask, that Bruce would wear for the rest of his life fighting criminals during the nights, hid the face of a man who had grown up to become more than what he ever was to. Inside him was the same boy who was still afraid of bats. But he had learned how to tame his fear and use it in his favour instead of letting it work against him.

Had he never fallen in to that hole filled with bats, would he have ever gone this close to having his fears materialized? And had that not happened, would he be the fearless fighter that he was? I doubt so. That was just a movie and it was based on just a fictional superhero comic series. But the lesson was and is nonetheless worth learning.

I’ve been going through things that I’ve never thought I’d have needed to face ever. And that is the reason why I never gave it a thought or had any practice in handling it. They say everything happens at the right time. I don’t know “them” but I want to believe what they say for it seems true. The thing to remember always is that whenever we fall, it is our responsibility to take it as a sign and learn to grow from that experience. Otherwise life will have no choice but to make us fall somewhere else. We will fall in a different hole, hurt ourselves at different places, but the lesson will remain the same.

“In life there are no co-incidences”, used to say my shero Linda Goodman and I choose to believe her. And if everything is there for a reason, does it not make sense to not fight things and just accept them as they are? A person who does not know how to swim sometimes in trying to save himself from drowning, ends up making it difficult for him to be saved when he just keeps flapping his arms and legs. When I learned swimming, I learned to trust my body to come up and float automatically when I trusted it to do that and just let go of any control. That is the secret. And it’s not that difficult to trust either. You just have to accept the fact that there are things which you can’t understand but you have to accept them anyway.

When I say all this, I don’t really know who it is that I am talking to. Sometimes it seems like I am talking to my imaginary friend, other times as if I was talking to myself in the mirror. Even other times, I feel like I am sending out a message for someone in need and going through the same situation I am right now. We might not know each other or our situation, but the lesson and the wisdom in it connects us.

I have to learn: When things don’t go my way, they need to be some other way and I’ve to accept it. The more I fight, the more I’ll drown myself.

Listen to the song and prepare to feel the message.

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After having talked to him for a while, it was time to come back home even though I wasn’t sure I got what I was looking for. But then a friend called to tell me he was out somewhere and had an accident. A seemingly minor one but it caused him a fracture in the leg which made it difficult for him to even move it.

We spent about an hour asking people and finding a hospital somewhere in the town. We found two. One was closed. The other one had no doctor and when I insisted, the nurse called one but he said he couldn’t come and we’d have to be back in the morning. There seemed no way but to go to a chemist and get a painkiller at least. Although I am against the use of drugs this way (I’d prefer if a professional actually prescribed something, but even then I am not very convinced of it always), he really needed something to put him to rest till the morning at least.

Something told me to prevent him from taking the medicines we’d just gotten and wait for some time. I still had hope and not very far from where we were, we did find a hospital which was not just open 24×7 but had a doctor available as well. Funnily, as life can always be, that hospital is just across the road from where my apartment building is! I had checked it once while coming here but the doors seemed locked and there was no sign of a light inside turned on. And this time, I still tried knocking and very pleasantly, a nurse opened and she smiled & nodded when I asked her if a doctor was available. I realized then that we should never hesitate to try or ask for something. I always try to tell this to myself but never really follow it. I am going to try to remember it from now on. An effort wasted is better than a step withheld in doubt or assumption.

The doctor did the usual check-up, gave him medicines and after the usual form-filling and payment ritual, I left him to sleep with an assurance that I’d be back in a couple of hours when the sun would have risen. It is after all only 15 steps away from my place and he has no one else there for him right now.

I came back, freshened up and made myself a cup of tea. I knew I couldn’t rest for a few minutes too because if I sleep, I’d not wake up till the evening. So here I am trying to write this in my journal and trying to keep myself up. I met a friend online before I had even begun typing this. We talked for a while and it was an interesting conversation. She has cancer and she’s one of the most optimistic people I’ve seen in a while. Although she won’t be dying anytime soon (not out of cancer anyway, knock on wood!), her life has turned upside down, to put it mildly. Somehow, she manages to get a lot of inspiration from somewhere and also passes it on. Sometimes, even without knowing it herself.

The empty cup rests besides me on a stool and the taste of tea still remains with the slight fragrance that put me to rest a while ago. The clock in the room shows the only time it is capable of showing but the pendulum keeps swinging. It’s a symbol of stillness when we keep on moving through life so fast. Four people, since yesterday, have either directly told me or given me the impression that they are busy and would rather not be bothered. I shall let them be and not complain. But I make one promise to myself- whenever someone I love wants me around, I’d lose a month’s hard-earned fortune, if that’s what it would take, but be there for them. And I called someone to tell exactly that. Someone I feel something for but have no way of expressing. And I feel like a fool when I run after her like a dog chasing a running car, when it’s certain it would never be able to catch it. If the dog could, however, read the bumper sticker on the car, he’d never give up, for it says “Keep hope alive…it’s the only way you can smile always!!!!”

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I’ve unsaid and unacknowledged desires. And there are times when they become overbearing.

I imagine a kid who has no worries about life and lives in the moment. I envy kids for they are able to do it very easily. I have thought of so many times that I’ve done things I now regard as silly and unnecessary. And most of them have been things that somehow had something to do with my future desires. I want a better house, better clothes, better phone, better everything! There’s nothing wrong with wanting. Or is there? Now if I do everything to make sure that I will have a better house in the future, what happens to the current place that I live in? Even though the house I fancy would seem more important to me, is it really more important than the place that is providing me shelter presently? The house of my dreams doesn’t even exist! So how can I consider it more important than the one that does exist and is actually the one where I lay in comfort imagining better things.

I think I need to learn this ability to live in the present from a child. A child who does not care how many chocolates he’ll have left for the night if he craves for them now and eats them all from the refrigerator. A child who, when is with you, enjoys your company as long as you are there even though he’s aware that you might leave soon and he’ll miss you badly. A child who is not afraid to show either his affection or dislike for you in words and in actions too, for he doesn’t think that liking makes him vulnerable to hurt and disliking necessarily makes him bad. A child who will love you for who you are and even complain about what you are not. But still love you.

I shall be that child who will have his chocolates today. Tomorrow will matter only when it becomes today.

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The value and importance of having a purpose is also reflected in our day-to-day relationships with people. However, that goes unnoticed, or is even avoided many times. We are friends with so many people that we have no time to spend to decide why we connect with each one of them. It seems like a silly thing to do to many of us. And that is why when someone is about to leave us, we begin to understand their value more in our life. Because that is the time we, not out of choice but force, begin to think about what purpose that person had in our life. We hardly are aware that had we done that before, the need for that person to leave would never have arrived.

Or it can be a little less dramatic. We have a fight or even a small argument with someone. And like most fights, at the most fundamental level, it’s purpose is to prove that we are right no matter what it might seem on the surface. At that point, if you stop for a moment, zoom out of how you are currently watching the situation, look at it from a third person’s perspective, you begin to realize how silly it is. Silly and unnecessary. And for that to happen, you need to be clear about your purpose for being with that person. Is he/she someone you work with and you need to have a co-operative relation with? Is he/she a friend that you value and you can’t afford to hurt? Is he/she someone you love and well, that’s enough for a purpose, isn’t it? Only when you are consciously aware of and very clear about this, can you begin to view things from a different perspective than you always did.

A wise teacher taught me this sometime ago, that we are neither totally right nor totally wrong ever in a fight with someone. But we all like to think we are right, don’t we? Sometimes so much so that we may risk losing someone we love rather than admit being wrong. And all that, no matter who is more wrong, we or the other person. The funny thing here is that it does not even matter. Being right or wrong is not even what we need to be. If we had our purpose clear and we remembered it, we’d understand that we love them despite their wrongs. It might not even be wrong in their eyes at times, so what? Would we rather have a friend with things that we don’t like very much or be alone altogether? And no matter how many friends we have, losing one still makes us lonely, doesn’t it?

I make a promise to myself today. To remember the purpose I am with anyone before reacting to anything they do that arouses me. Because I loved them for a reason. And that is more important than anything else.

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It is not great wisdom to understand that people change with time and so do their needs, but common sense. And he who tries to control it will suffer. For bliss lies in acceptance and not in resistance.

I like to believe that I am man with high standards, both when it comes to things and people alike. What that means is that I have clear boundaries in my head and that I know what I want from people. And at the most fundamental level, that is a wonderful thing. I set my boundaries and you set yours. If we respect that, we are friends. SImple. That is, however, only one side of the spectrum.The other side being understanding and forgiving other people’s faults.People who just have high standards and cannot tolerate much are on one extreme, like I have been for a while now. They turn out to be too fixed in their ways and seem arrogant to others. People on the other extreme seem like saints, forgiving everyone for everything. Of course, not many people exist here you might believe. But if you try to look around, you’ll find many who follow such a thing. People who take everything from others, the good and the shit, and never complain. Wisdom lies in knowing about the spectrum and your position on it. And then being able to turn the knob ever so slightly to adjust according to the situation.There is no right way to deal with any situation we face. There is no wrong way either. Understanding how much of a boundary we need to have our standards met and how much we are willing to compromise on it for the limitations of the others leads to fulfillment.

All this wisdom comes to me through a friend, who due to her own limitations had done things that made her fall short of my expectations. What seemed right to me then, to let her go owing to my disappointment, seems now something that could have been avoided. But it needed to happen. Remember that everything has a reason. When she came back a couple of days ago, I didn’t think twice before talking with her. A lot had changed since the last we talked. The problems had dealt with themselves, so to say. I felt no need to express my disappointment for what was done long ago even when it was never displayed clearly before. She felt no need to apologize. There was not a reason to go back to even discuss the past. Not one. She came to me with some news that was favourable for me. And I took it as a sign, which calls for a different post which will follow this one very soon. Within a minute of talking, it felt like nothing had really changed. And really, nothing had.

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

John, 8:7 (KJV)

How can I not forgive someone and still consider myself worthy of forgiveness when I do something wrong? How can I not understand and expect to be understood? How can I not offer love and respect and expect to receive it?

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It died as easily as one can.
And with it died the sower.
Our little romance is over,
Over before it even began.

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I can’t wait for ol’ time to come and aid,
I make sure, for all my transgressions, I’ve paid.
The life of the wretched miser I leave behind
Only peace, now, I seek to find.

No more will I weep, for what happened long ago,
What’s true now, may not be so to-morrow.
I feel no need anymore, for my pain to show,
No more will my heart feel joy in it’s never-ending sorrow.

The joys of the future, I am unfamiliar with,
What was my reality, seems now only a myth,
Closer to me are the sorrows that never leave,
The time is nigh that from them, I, myself relieve.

You shall see me no more around those gardens of romance,
I shall have not time for a little merriment and dance.
Meaningless pleasures from things trivial, do people derive,
For a higher goal, I shall rather set my heart to strive.

The man shall grow, he shall grow stronger every day.
He shall face with courage and dignity,
Everything that happens to come his way.
Anything that holds him back and restrains,
Will have to leave, and cannot stay.
From his fears, and oh how many!
He shall not find an excuse to walk away.
When dark clouds swallow the sun and its shine,
Of light, he shall make himself, a ray.
He shall have his head up high and proud,
He shall be free, come what may!

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@insanewanderer @mrbedbug The post is about sleep anyway Mohit aaj kal Android apps share kar raha hai waise in reply to insanewanderer #

@MrBedBug in reply to MrBedBug #

@MrBedBug I wish the world revolved around your needs. Or mine. in reply to MrBedBug #

@MrBedBug I am out here for a walk in reply to MrBedBug #

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People come in to your life for a season, and for a reason.

It takes time and for many people even years to understand this simple, basic fact of life. That is why no matter how many friends you might have fallen apart with or how many break-ups you might have had, when the next one follows, you feel exactly like you felt when the first one happened – confused and frustrated. If we all knew and accepted this from the beginning, it will give the relationship, personal or business, a whole new perspective.

When some people leave you or it so happens that you have to leave them, instead of thinking “what went wrong”, it sometimes helps if you think, “what did I get to learn from this experience with him/her”. But it’s not always easy because it’s not always very obvious. Sometimes it requires you to dig deep in to your psyche, look at yourself from a different perspective, try to uncover things that lie deep within hidden because you’ve found no reason yet to pry them up. And it takes time. But if you are firm in your quest and patient with the results, you’ll have the epiphany you’re looking for.

I had mine before the sun set yesterday. The setting of the sun is such a symbolic event. It signifies that you must slow down, stop doing what you’ve been doing all day and decide to take some rest. With the rest comes the contemplation that is necessary to help you begin your day again when the sun will rise. The darkness that it causes hides everything that lies far in the horizon and lets you look at what’s up close, so you can focus. That is necessary because we look so much in to the future waiting for it anxiously that we fail to see what’s here already and fail to acknowledge it at times, let alone appreciate it. It’s easier for many of us, like myself, because it lets you feel like you can ignore all your vices today and hope for a better future. We think we can become better versions of ourselves if we leave all the bad things about us behind and become what the future wants us to. What we don’t realize is we can’t leave anything behind unless we actually accept and acknowledge that it exists. Good or bad, what’s in you is you and what you do is you. You can never run away from that. The only way to find peace with it is to acknowledge it, accept it and try to understand what needs to be done to better it.

I’ve been accused a million times for being selfish. And rightly so. I never denied being one but that should not mean that I took pride in it. Picking the best for myself always when I am sharing something with someone was my habit. I always needed to be taken care of first before I can take care of you. My needs need to be fulfilled first or else yours will go unacknowledged. I say this because it’s all true, even at the risk of making an understatement. But that does not mean I was a prick. I’ve been helpful to people around me and pretty generous at times. But deep down inside me, I knew the only thing that mattered to me was me. About a year ago, I made a phone call one evening to talk to someone desperately because I was feeling down. It happens to all of us at times when we just want someone to understand how we are feeling and give it some time and get over it. Doesn’t it? What I was told, however, didn’t seem to be of any help to me at that time. I was told the reason that I was sad for was because I paid too much attention to what I wanted. I gave too much importance to myself. And that I should forget about myself for some time and try to make others around me happy. And I thought I couldn’t do that unless I was happy myself first. I still can’t. It’s just easy logic. If I have what I want and I am happy, I’d want to make others around me happy as well because it would make sense to me. But if I am not happy myself, how can I focus on others? It just does not seem palpable.

Sigh.

I guess sometimes we have to understand that happiness is not everything that we live for and that there’s something greater than achieving that. It’s so hard to put others first when you know you might never get a chance for yourself if you let them have this. It takes a lot of strength to still let them have it. And it becomes a lot easier if you love them. I guess love is the answer then.

I know it is.

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He told me when someone starts smoking for the first time, they probably won’t like it very much. It happens slowly as they learn how to do it properly. That’s why beginners start coughing because they can’t control when and how to let the smoke in and when to let it out. But when they get hold of it, they start getting a kick out of it. And for most people, that’s the thing that keeps them coming back for more. I’ve seen very few who smoke because they like the smell of a burning cigarette and quite a lot who smoke because they think it’s cool. They are the ones you see in college all the time. But for the rest, it’s the kick they get out of it that matters and that’s the addiction. However, with time, your body gets used to it and then the only way to enjoy it like before is to keep having more. And that goes on and on and when you’ve done it for years, even 3-4 packs a day isn’t enough for you.

I don’t see addiction in the negative sense. I believe we all are addicted to something or else anyway. Be it shopping, movies, food, chocolate, ice-cream, coffee, tea, porno, adrenaline, music, you name it. I am more interested in learning about how we get addicted to something and how to stay in control rather than trying to judge a particular group of people because they are addicted to something that we consider wrong. And if you think about it, people who are addicted to smoking or drinking are the most aware of their addiction. Compare that to a teenager who just had a break up and has a low self-esteem, so starts over-eating and thus, gets fat. Most people don’t know that they can get addicted to a particular food, many particularly high in cholesterol. Any addiction, that way, can be harmful. I have asked a few alcoholics as well about it. My loose definition of an alcoholic is “anyone who drinks almost everyday”. They have shared the same view as mentioned above.

Most people who know me know that I have a lot of trouble waking up once I sleep. So a week ago, I decided one day that I won’t sleep at all, no matter what. And it was already about 3:30 pm when I woke up because I had slept at 6 am that day. That desire to stay awake intensified when a friend, who goes by the same name as me, decided to challenge me that I won’t last even for a day without sleeping. We had a wager and I was determined to stay up. I did stay up for 2 days and 2 nights. And what surprised me at the end of it was how easy it actually was. I normally sleep when I feel like sleeping. I don’t care if it’s 2am or 6am or 1pm when that happens. And I usually find it very difficult to control myself when I am sleepy but this time, things were different.

I realized that there’s a period of about 5-15 minutes, and that’s how my body works, when my brain would give up on me and force me to leave whatever it is that I am doing and just sleep. And if somehow I cross that successfully, staying up by doing whatever it takes, I am good for the next few hours. And to fight those few minutes, I did try drinking coffee once but for the rest of the times, about 7-8 in all, I tried natural ways to stay up. I had an apple once, went outside and looked at the sun twice, kept stretching and walking in between to keep the muscles from relaxing and splashed my face with water a few times. I also made sure I was sitting upright and not leaning comfortably on my chair to keep myself alert and I tried to stay away from my bed even though I use my laptop sitting there often times.

All this has forced me to think if we are all addicted to sleeping, more so, myself. I’ve been wondering if we can do with lesser amounts of sleep every day and still work as much and maintain our energy levels high. When I am tired and my muscles need rest, I sleep in a particular position that support them for sometime before I fall asleep. I normally sleep sideways but when I wake up, I find myself in varying postions every day. What I observed was that I find joy and comfort in those few minutes that I am laying on my bed before I fall asleep completely. But when I am sleeping, I have no consciousness to feel the same. Granted that my body is resting and I will feel fresh when I wake up. But many a times, when I do wake up, I want to go back to sleep “just for a few more minutes”, like many of us, and I do that in the same position as I was in when I slept. My body loves that position and my muscles find comfort that way. And no matter how much I give it that, it wants more. Because after a couple of minutes, I fall asleep again and it wants to feel it consciously. It can never have enough. And I have tried to give it a lot before. I’ve slept for 2 days continuously before to try to give it a lot in hopes that it will leave me alone for a few days. But it did not. That immediately reminded me of what Kaushik said about smoking. That when we get used to it, we need more of it to feel the same that we felt before with less. I firmly believe that we can do more than we generally think we can. And that includes sleeping less. I’ll try different things and post my experiences here. Meanwhile, I’d like to know what you think about it.

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@MohitShroff We are good planners. And organizers. We just need someone who can execute in reply to MohitShroff #

@MohitShroff What's so typical huh! You think I just keep repeating myself all the time? in reply to MohitShroff #

@MohitShroff I've less readers than I have fingers in one of my hands in reply to MohitShroff #

@MohitShroff He who commenteth not, readeth not. Anyway what happened to your blog? in reply to MohitShroff #

@MohitShroff So you can get away with it Smart. in reply to MohitShroff #

@dustinbrewer I do! Please in reply to dustinbrewer #

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You can make it a lot easier if you just paint an image, but that’s still not an easy thing to do. What most of us would rather do is take a picture with a piece of glass which is made precisely to mimic our eyes and in many ways, see better than what our naked eyes see. In the last few days, I’ve become a fan of doing that—clicking photos—and there’s more reason to it than it being easy. Easy would be the last thing it is; to take a good picture. And to take a great one is a matter of remarkable achievement that happens not to everyone; and not every day, let alone everywhere.

The reason photography is so naturally appealing to me is because it is technical. To a person who enjoys learning how things work and how they were built, photography is like learning to play music when you were Beethoven’s child. There’s more to it than meets the eye, and that’s where the beauty lies. Like my guru, Linda Goodman, used to say, “It rhymes, so it must be true”. It is not just clicking and watching what you shot. Although that can be done ever so easily these days. But easy shooting is much like easy writing. If everyone who could write wrote, it will be what it would be if everyone who had a camera, any camera, took pictures. There are great pictures are the top of the pyramid, good ones at the bottom. And the ones that don’t matter are like the grains of sands spread across the earth, of which this pyramid is only a tiny fraction. A freckle. A pimple on its cheeks.

They say it’s an art. And so it is. But more than that, it’s science. It’s mechanical. You have to turn knobs, click buttons, browse and make selections through menus, learn about light and its characteristics, learn about angles and measure distances, measure heights and widths of things, deal with lengths and distances; there’s a lot of physics involved. And if you were a photographer a decade or more ago, there was a lot of chemistry involved as well. People loved it, but it sure wasn’t simple. And there’s the digital equivalent of that as well. You have to learn to use a computer, which considering many people know shouldn’t be put in the difficult category, but if you consider how many people don’t, that’s when things start shifting. You have to make choices—a lot of them. You have to make strategies. Backup strategies, before you even begin to process any of the pictures you’ve taken. And it just doesn’t mean copying them to another media. A lot of professional photographers keep at least 4, and many up to a dozen copies of their files in different format, at different stages of post-processing and at different locations, logical and physical. Organizing thousands and thousands of image files on a machine is no piece of cake either. It is easy if you are good at creating taxonomy, and have a plan to tag every picture you take with keywords, and rate them appropriately and categorize them, and sort them and put them into folders. On a higher level, that also means making appropriate decisions on what kind of computer you’d like to have, how many hard drives for back-ups, how big should each hard disk be, what about off-site backups, what platform supports the software you’d want to use, how compatible are they, how long will they be there so you can be sure you can keep working the same way, what workflow is suited to the kind of work you do and with the kinds of ecosystem you live in, just to mention a few. You have to understand about colour and how what they call bits, which are nothing but in most cases the presence or absence of magnetic energy, and in others optical, work to represent the colours around us, what is the gamut of colours supported on the media we are working on. All of that of course, after we have decided if what we are shooting will go to print or web or for something else. And then there’s the issue of how big, how sharp, how contrasty, and every other little thing you can think of, that can vary from person to person.What may be perfect for you may be worse than looking at dogshit from an inch away from my face for me. You also must know about file formats, colour spaces or gamut of colours you can work in, aspect ratios, and monitor calibration, because not everything that displays the image displays it similarly, noise and how to reduce it, cropping, white balances, which actually means how well the colours are represented in the image when compared to the original view our eyes had, and a whole lot of things.

To reduce the burden and to be a little more effective at this, one can prepare before hand and try to take better pictures and perform minimal processing but most of us prefer taking a lot of bad ones, picking the best ones from them (the bad ones?) and performing a lot of post-processing which is like applying make up to an ugly woman. This was not much of an issue in the olden days when there were limitations. Limitations as to how many pictures you can take and how flexible you’d be in reviewing them before you take another. Limitations are those little angels we tend to avoid so comfortably as if they were like flies which are supposed to only mean distraction. Ask a writer what is better to write on, a computer keyboard or an old typewriter? The typewriter has its limitations but they tend to assist more in “writing” than the keyboard does with all of its features combined. With a keyboard, all you do is “type”, which is no art! The fact that you have a “backspace” allows you to make mistakes. More mistakes than you otherwise might make. With a typewriter, you have to think of the whole sentence in your head before you start typing and that means that you’d make lesser mistakes. Also because you develop a habit of thinking about everything thoroughly before typing, you become much better a thinker and organize your thoughts every time even when you aren’t “writing”. Not very different than this is a modern camera which tends to make decisions on behalf of you automatically. And if everyone let them do that, it would only mean—my pictures are better than yours because I have a better camera than yours! Great painters never painted better than most because they had better brushes. Nor did great composers compose ageless melodies because they had a better piano to play on. Taking control of the tools you use is very important. And the way you do that is unique to you and no one can replicate. You do follow rules and laws. All musicians know about rhythm and timing and about the way scales are made up and how chord progression works. And because they know how it works, they can break the rules to make exceptional music. An untrained amateur doesn’t know the rules and all he will do is break them unless he, co-incidentally, ends up following one. It’s what you do that makes you. And it’s what you know that helps you decide what and how to do what you do. Practice is important but no more or less important is theory.

There’s a final aspect to it, the delivery. Go ask a writer how printing works. Chances are high there won’t be any answer. Ask the same to a photographer and he’ll sit you down and tell you exactly the different types of printing and how each works, why one is better and how he likes it done. If it’s not printing, he’ll tell you about ways he uses to publish them online to third-party services and also on his own website, which he probably manages by himself. Right from being able to use a camera and understanding how optics work to being able to use a computer to manage, organize, process and publish for delivery, a photographer knows every little detail about his work. And that is far from easy. But to someone who is a geek that is far from boring. Photography is an art. A very technical one, indeed.

Thank you Sameen for editing the post

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I’ve always believed that life is not merely comprised of tasks but tastes. For some of us, doing more is what it means to be doing things right. If something goes wrong, we then have the excuse that we are doing too many things and once in a while, something can and will go wrong, if it has to. For others, and these are the artists in their own fields, doing less and doing well is essential. These are the people who look in to the details and the subtleties of everything. They don’t care if they do things on time or if they do as many things as others. All that matters to them is whatever they’ve done is the best they can do.

They say we humans have the potential to do far more than we think we do. And in trying to leverage that potential, we try to put a lot of our energies everyday in doing a lot of things. A lot of things, really. Not that there is anything wrong with being able to do a lot. It’s just that it never ends. The list keeps growing. It is like we are “trying to fill a bottomless cup”, to quote the wise guy from Kung Fu Panda II. The point is, we can do a lot and we can do a lot more than that. It will never end. So what do we do? Well, there’s one thing we can try. Slowing down! Take time to think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Give every little thing the importance it deserves. And that’s important because I say so? NO! That’s important because all the crazy people knew this. They are the great ones. The greatest composers, painters, writers, sculptors and even the greatest scientists and businessmen and the like. ALbert Einstein was smart but he had no interest in showing that in any thing else but math and physics, because that was what he was passionate about. He could have done a lot but he chose to focus. And are we glad he did! Howard Hughes was obsessed with things that flew. Obsessed. Yes, that word is bad but well the good side of it is you are really in to something to be obsessed with it. And I don’t see how that can be wrong. The world has seen many a folks who have given up all and went for what seemed nothing at first, only to realize years later that it was the right choice. And I consider myself to be lucky enough to see a few of these people alive today. And one of them is Stevhen Paul Jobs. A lot of things are said about him everyday, both good and bad. But no one can deny that he and his efforts have changed the world. He did cause a “dent in the universe” because he believes in doing that, “otherwise why even be here”. In a quote (not an exact one) he said, “Some of the most important decisions we make here at Apple is deciding what not do to. That gets rid of a lot of crap so we can focus on what’s good.” We see people everywhere who do so many things because they need to be done. Not wholeheartedly, but because they have to do them. Wouldn’t a lazy person be far better who does nothing out of obligation or necessity but only when he feels like doing things? But if everyone did that the world will go crazy, right? It might lose it’s rhythm for sure, but will it be that devastating? I don’t think so.

Let me explain.

It’s simple math. Don’t we all have at least one thing that we’d like to do but we don’t for every thing that we do but we don’t want to? That’s a fair assumption I believe. So if one day, you became totally carefree and gave up feeling responsible for the things that you do only out of necessity and you started doing only those things that you wanted to do always, you’d still be doing the same amount of things, right? So what changed? The actual things! And the fact that you’ll be a lot happier at the end of the day. But wait. You ask, what happens to the things that you are not doing now but were essential like cleaning? Well, here’s the thing. It’s not that you are never going to do those things that you don’t like doing. You’ll do them for sure if they are really necessary. The catch here is this, that firstly, you get time to live without doing the things you thought were necessary and that you had to do them to exist. And that’s huge. You’ll realize that most of them aren’t really necessary. Get rid of the crap. Secondly, you actually did a lot of things that you wanted to do. That means you are very satisfied with your life now. And those things that you will still need to do out of necessity, you’ll try to find some fun in them and do them with more elegance now. Be more creative with them. You ask why couldn’t you have don’t that before? Well, do you make your strategies when you are on the battlefield? No You need to be away, relaxed, comfortable and have a nice view of how it will be like to decide what stays, what goes. How is this math? I don’t know! It is not I had to put it there in the beginning to make you feel that what was to follow would be very complicated, as complicated as simple math is, because otherwise it will lose it’s value. It’s so simple, you wouldn’t have taken it for a solution. Someone taught me this years ago and I want you to learn it as well – In learning anything, the fundamentals are the most important thing. They are quite often the easiest and also the ones everyone else pays the least attention to.

Simple huh?

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I recorded our first episode today with Ketki Ambekar and it will soon be out at rishifter.com/gw/. Also accompanying us in the show is Mrs. Seema Khan, who has been a lecturer and the training and placement officer at SIES for about 4 years now. She has agreed to be in the show regularly and also let us record in the training cell at college.

The main idea behind the show is to discuss news and events that happen in college every week. Also, I hope people start raising issues which they normally don’t. I want people to start asking questions, giving suggestions and just having their voices heard. We want to become the voice of every SIES GSTian.

Please go and listen to the show either at rishifter.com/gw/ or like our Facebook page at fb.me/siesgst. And do tell me if you have any suggestions.

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I haven’t seen a growth as tangible as when I do things going out of my comfort zone.

I want to be able to do a lot of things that I currently can’t. And nothing is stopping me. I have more time at hand than any other person I know. I am motivated. I have all the other resources to teach myself whatever I need to. What’s stopping me? I’ve wondered this for long and haven’t been able to figure out anything yet. But what I’ve discovered, in a reverse-engineering sort of way, is that if I do things in ways I don’t normally do, it energizes me and pushes me to do more. It is more helpful than any self-help book or guru you can find. Listen below as I share my experiences,

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I’ve been sad since then. So sad that it actually started making me feel funny. I had a conversation with a friend who was trying to cheer me up by sending funny videos, which only got me annoyed. But what followed was a very interesting conversation. First of all, despite how hard it seemed, I confessed to that friend that I was sad that day. She was genuinely concerned and tried to soothe me. I was so sad it made me laugh. And I thought sleeping might make me feel better, because it usually does when I sleep for over 12 hours, but it didn’t. I was completely okay the other day. But the sadness was lurking in the back of my mind and I wasn’t ignoring it, I was just comfortable with it by now.

A year ago, minus three months, I made a mistake. And I’ve been punishing myself ever since. I was so ashamed of myself, and not of just what I did, that I was trying to hide my face by burying it deep in to the ground. I buried deeper and deeper for months. It was only yesterday that I realized that after a point, I was supposed to come out of the other side of the planet. It was only logical! And as soon as the realization hit me, I felt lighter. But I am careful not to overwhelm myself with joy. So I took it slow. And I thought may be I should try changing things one by one now. Things that I so comfortably was used to having/doing and things that I was so comfortably ignoring. Things that have had a symbolic meaning for me have to lose their value. I have to leave it all behind. I have to change someday, or like my guru-friend would say, “evolve”.

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Whatever happened to rock music! And whatever happened to having cool hair!

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We have so much stuff that we hide everywhere. In our past. In our lockers. Under our beds. Inside safely placed boxes. Inside the memories of people we trust. Inside our very own minds. And everywhere else where things can be hidden.

Give someone a penny and you lose it and that person has it now. Share an idea with someone and you both have it and can do whatever you wish to do with it. Share a secret with someone, however, and even though you both have it now, what you do with it is what you’ve decided and the other person has to obey. And in the ideal world that’s what anyone does. How do you decide what secret to share with whom? It’s a difficult thing to break down in points and explain. It works more with intuition. When you feel like you have to give it out. You can’t keep it inside of you any longer. Or perhaps, you met this stranger and you feel so comfortable that you want to build a bond out of it by sharing secrets. I’ve always found it easier to share my secrets with people I have just met than with people I have known for a long time. I think that is because with these people I don’t have a “past” to associate good or bad memories with. It is very much like painting on a blank canvas.

But there are always things that I can never share with someone despite the newness. The issues that I think I have with myself. The way I like to think of myself and so desperately wish that people do the same. They beliefs I have developed all these years that not many might understand. The things I wish to have but I never admit even though I always claim to have a list of and know what I want from life. The vanity and pride that makes me seem so arrogant at times, it physically hurts to know people can’t understand why I act that way. The rose that I keep hidden and protected in the memory of a loved one even though it’s not red. The gifts I’ve bought thinking so much of someone, that I can’t find a use for them when they were not accepted and now are kept sacredly hidden but still ready to be given with the same intent that they were bought with. Those never-ending letters written to express feelings that can only be vaguely determined by reading them but were never sent off. Those good night and good morning kisses that never were given away. Those books that were never read to or heard from that special someone. Hundreds of pictures never shared. Thousands of notes never read. Millions of unexpressed feelings in vain. Billions of thoughts full of pain. So many silent whispers and so many hopes of joy. Longing but not sad, the heart never cries. It goes on without heaving a sigh. Waiting hopefully, as time goes by.

I am so sleepy now its worse than being drunk. I haven’t had to sleep since the last 32 hours or so. And I am sure I might regret publishing this later but I don’t live in the future. I live in the NOW. And this goes out to you now. Yes. You know who you are.

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Some I find important enough to deal with, other’s not very significant. And it is safe to say sometimes you can just run away from problems without being a coward because some problems don’t need much of your attention. They don’t deserve it probably.

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I wanted to write a post yesterday on your birthday, Karen. I couldn’t.

It had something to do about me being grateful. For a lot of things.

If you search for “Rishi Talreja” on google, this essay that you wrote months ago shows up on the first page(8th in list). There’s another story associated with it. And there have been numerous conversations between the two of us which has led to many inspiring things. One particular being where we talked about how we can focus on a lot of things every day and still find time for our work. I”ll be writing a separate post on that later this week.

I wanted to discuss this and more in detail. But time went by and even today seems to be coming to an end. I couldn’t write it today morning. So, before this day ends, I wanted to write something to make me remember later. I’ve decided to do things more than planning to do things. And this is one such thing. I am too sleepy right now to continue.

Thanks. For a lot of things.

P.S. You still remind me of my childhood. #TimeTravel

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The reason? I have not slept, for the past few months, before 7-8 in the morning. Why? I spend my nights consuming news from the people who matter in tech – Leo Laporte and many of his live-streamed shows(netcasts) on his TWiT network, Robert Scoble, his blog, YouTube videos and controversies like when he spent around 7 hours a day, 7 days of the week reading and posting every post on friendfeed to his issues with Quora, TechCrunch, Diggnation and a few others. If you go check them out, you’ll know how much there is to consume.

So what’s special about today? A couple of things. I had to pick up my darling little sister (Actually, I was surprised to know how old she really is, which is like too old) and drop her to Andheri. Why? She works and lives there in a rented apartment and was here (in Ulhasnagar where I and her folks live) and needed to go back this morning. And I happen to be a good choice if you want to do something early morning. Later in the day, don’t even try to call me unless you have patience the size of the hugest dinosaur.

It is surprising how packed a second class compartment can be even in the morning at around 6. We chose otherwise but those cars filled up pretty soon as well. And a bet that I was going to have with Jacky last night about those ticket counters opening that early where he said they did. I am glad I didn’t wager. And contrary to popular belief, people behind those counters are not that cranky if you append a “please” after your request and a “thank you” after you’ve gotten what you needed. Oh and also if you offer them change.

Fast forward and we are in Andheri. Our only option for breakfast, because most places don’t open that early and not everyone I know is as jobless as me, was a south Indian corner. And medu wada sambar it was. The fluffy kind. And also vada pav. And yes women (Indian women I mean) do enjoy chatnis of all kind and anything spicy in general. Don’t waste time arguing against that.

Good bye time for Komal (Have I not mentioned her name before in the post?). I don’t know why I entered her apartment for just a glass of water. And ended up waking her roommate whose name reminds me of a television network. And mothers. If you’re reading this, iApologize. You did wake up to a smile at least

Going back becomes difficult when you don’t have change for the auto rickshaw. The only time I miss Channel V from my childhood days when it had a superhero. “Chuttaman”! Yea, if only. And apparently, you won’t get it at big, fancy looking general stores if you go there and try saying, “Give me a big pack of Lays if you have change for 500 Rs.”. Yes, tried that a couple of times. I once almost wanted to ask, “How much worth stuff should I buy for you to give me some change?”. But I was in a good mood and I don’t really snap at people like that. Ask anyone. So that’s the puzzle. And the solution? A medical store. Yes. They won’t tell you no for anything. So I got a pack of band-aids which I recalled I’ve run out of at home anyway. So, keeping your head cool helps. And also does offering a mentos, also from the medical store, to the rickshaw driver to have him drive like Schumacher to take you to the station in minutes. Well, almost.

And the next time you are at a station like Andheri and you want to catch a harbor train and you have followed the directions everywhere to still end up at the same platforms which are not meant for you, it will be better for you if you decided not to be a guy for a minute and ask for directions. Ahem. Actually, I take that back. Platform 6 and 7 are supposed to be right after 1,2,3,4 and 5, and not along the length of platform 1 on the other extreme. First the design. Then those unhelpful directions. I had a lot of time though. Why am I complaining! I did then and it’s alright now. Moving on.

Next stop? Good old SIES GST, the last educational institute I attended, not so good on the administration part and the paperwork. They made us run everywhere to get signatures of everyone there was in the hierarchy once. The LC application was registered quick enough last time, along with a change in the birthdate. I thought things had changed. Friends told me it was only for pass-outs like us and not for others. I was happy either way. The LC was ready and it was quicker this time. What wasn’t quick, and therefore a little frustrating, was a friend who was not answering my calls. And I had a packet to give to her which I wouldn’t be able to again anytime soon. Solution? Well of course that charming little fellow named Dev in the canteen who serves food and cleans tables but never is seen without a smile on his face. Your parcel, Ketki, is safe with him. And you’ll know if something happens to it, tomorrow you might see them announce food items on a cheap iBall microphone.

Hungry again. It’s when I meet one of those few people I wanted to meet today, after long. My Portuguese friend left for Goa early morning and is coming back in the evening. And I have no idea why. Mohit, who works in Vashi, turned up on time. I didn’t. Why? I am used to boarding the Thane train from Nerul, so I did. Except that we were meeting at Vashi for lunch. Some more embarrassing stuff happened on my way to Vashi. And that’s why it’s better kept concealed. I learned a few things though. Of all the things in this world, the reason Mohit won’t get an iPad is because of it’s low battery life. Lame. Nope. Way over the line that’s labeled greed. Or hunger. Or lust. Batterylust. It does make for a cool sounding nickname. Don’t forget to thank me if you read this Mahtab.

Mohit and I had lunch. Although, we exchanged many calls, Rahul couldn’t make it. He woke up late. Kane, his bike, is sick. Pray for him. And he had to go shopping with his mother. Priorities. Democracy it is. Krithika couldn’t come either. She still goes to college. And not a good one, I tell you. It took me around 30 minutes to type this out on my iPhone while I was waiting for either you or your text saying you can’t come. You know what it was because I’m sad now.

And I also wanted to meet you, you know who you are. I miss you.

Forward to next day. Fast forward please!

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I planned a trip to the south with a friend, Rahul Somasundar recently. Everything was planned except that nothing was but that was the plan itself. And then there came this issue with financing. In that, we didn’t lack any but we had our priorities.

I had none initially and then we decided to wait for a week to arrange something. A lot happened during that week. I managed to save some up but at the same time I made a decision. An important decision for TSTG to move ahead. I decided to get a professional microphone for the show. And that required an investment from my side, which was so far a lot more than what I required for the trip.

There is nothing wrong with that except that I lacked the guts to tell him this. So when he called, and kept calling, on the date we had decided to finalize everything, I ignored them all. I was a little occupied so it didn’t bother me much then.

Things seem a lot different though when you take time and think about things. It wasn’t right, and that’s alright, from his perspective. And what made me realize this was his cool way to talk to me the next day when I finally answered his call. He asked about it. I was a little hesitant to say anything. He understood. I didn’t restrain myself from being upfront though and told him no. He was fine with it and told me he was going anyway, by himself.

And this is what I admire in some people. Their ability to accept things as they are. I didn’t have to explain anything to him. I didn’t even tell him I had other priorities. He understood.

How many people accept your decisions without ever questioning you? How many people you know who really understand without you saying anything?

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When I was a kid, I had many questions. One of them was, why do we need to learn about history and know what people did years ago. I was told, and I believed because everyone said it with conviction, that history repeats itself and when it does we must be prepared to handle it. And that knowing ways in which someone dealt with a particular situation might help us deal with a similar one if it so happens that we face the exact same situation.

Absolute bullshit.

What I’ve learned, and I know it because no one taught it to me, is that great people, no matter what you call them – genii, innovators, world-changers, leaders, revolutionaries, etc., don’t take lessons from conventional wisdom.

That’s an awfully long sentence and perhaps should not even be here but its my journal so I don’t care. Allow me to explain what I mean though.

Every once in a while, there comes this person who changes everything. The impact left after everything has been changed is so lasting that for years people try to change it further using the same techniques demonstrated by this revolutionary. A person who does not care about what people have established before him but tries to look ahead, far ahead, and establish something for the future of generations to come is an innovator.

In business schools, they teach you how to think outside the box. There are a million how-tos on that subject as well if you go check out. So what gives you an edge over someone else who is also trying to think outside the box? Well, if everyone is thinking ouside the box, we need someone to think inside the box! And I’m not having fun with pun. If everyone just follows what has already worked for someone else, it is not an innovation. If everyone tries to be different, no one gets to be. And here’s my favorite, from the movie The Incredibles,

If everyone is special, then no one is!

P.S. Thank you very much (you know who you are) for adding this recurrent entry in my calendar months ago. Every Monday, I was reminded of it and today just seemed like the right time to write about it.

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Happy people are helpful people

I’ve been accused of being self-obsessed and self-pampering in the past a million times. But it doesn’t matter much because I’ve realized I am the kindest person I know, when I am the happiest I think I can be.

Allow me to explain.

Try to imagine two people who want to work towards changing the world by helping other people. Assume that they both have the same motivation. One of them is me and another is Bill Gates. It does not take a lot of thinking to realize who is more capable of doing the essentially same thing. I don’t earn even $ 1K a month and he is worth around 56 Billion USD (or he was the last time I checked). Considering that we both want to do the same thing, he can (and does) essentially a LOT more than I can right now.

It is not very different when we talk of happiness. And when I talk of happiness here, I mean someone’s state of mind at a particular time or what we generally refer to as our mood. When I am in a good mood and I am cheerful, I tend to think of other people a lot more than I do when I am sad and dreary. I have no theory to back this up, except for the theory of common sense.

I was happy last night for what might seem like the smallest thing one can be happy about. But I like to feel good about the small things in life. Except that the person who bought me the news that made me feel good, was not in a good mood herself. And apparently, its wrong to suggest things (even good things) to someone who either is not very receptive or cannot understand how everything starts and ends with having it thought in our heads and having hope that it will be.

I always try to think of new and exciting things people can do. Not big things as starting a new business or changing an attitude. Little things, habits that eventually make us what we are. I believe if we can hope, we can achieve. Its not because people lack resources or are busy or have no experience that they don’t do things they ought to do, but because they don’t care about it enough to believe they can. And I like to push people like these in to understanding that all they need to do is believe.

And if, in your (you know who you are) opinion, that makes me too idealistic a person, I’ll respect your opinion but develop a callous indifference towards you. Because no matter how much I adore you, I have to protect my ideals.

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Memories are wonderful things, if you don’t have to deal with the past.

I found that very funny when I first heard it in the movie. And I’ve seen that movie many times. I don’t know if it was there in the movie just for fun or if it had a deeper meaning. It sure does for me now.

Like everyone else I know, I have gone through ups and downs throughout my life. And I have a lot of memories of things that I’ve said and done. That is because of my love of archiving things and recording everything. It turns out, however, memories can have a strong hold on you, if you let them take the driver’s seat. Think about it, we only have two kinds of them. Ones that make us feel good (happy, joyous, proud etc) or ones that make us feel bad (sad, angry, anxious etc). If you think about the bad memories, it makes you feel bad, that’s obvious. But almost all the time, thinking about the good ones do the same. It makes you feel sad for not having things/people that you previously had, or just comparing past situations with present ones. It is supposed to make you feel good if you were happy in the past, but it turns to work the other way around.

The way to handle memories then is to try to remain in the present and enjoy them but not for long. The present is all we ever have and there is no reason for us to compare it to the past or the future.

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The Small Town Geek is a tech podcast I am starting very soon with Karen Aranha (The Wikichic) and Ketki Ambekar (Dazz). The idea behind the show is to discuss, analyze and review tech stories with a focus on how we, as individuals, are affected by anything that goes around in the tech world. We hope to make tech easier and more interesting for many by being geeky and fun with our different and subtle characters.

WebTri consists of three people – Me, Rahul Thachilath and Aniket Kale, my friends from Diploma college trying to build web based solutions for people. One of our major goals is to gather enough money to sustain ourselves and then work on developing something new and interesting for everyone. It is certainly not going to be the next Facebook, so don’t keep your hopes high! We like to be modest about our work and follow the business principle – Under-promise, over-deliver.

The fourth thing that I am working on is myself. By mid-2010, one thing I had realized is that I needed a transformation. I have changed a lot since then, for better or worse, and I am striving to become a better me constantly. And the reason I mention this is because I put this on the list of things that I do daily. Improving my guitar skills, learning french, learning how to cook etc are as important to me, and in some cases more, as doing something to earn money. Money, I believe, is only a means to an end and not the end itself.

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So I was travelling to the Mumbai University last week with Rahul Somusundar and he decided to pay for the auto rickshaw. He knew the fare already as a friend had informed him of it. He still was a little doubtful that the guy was cheating him with the fare so he asked to have a look at the fair chart. I commented that it was funny he’d do it, because I am a person who trusts people by default, and he said, “Its my right to information.” And we both laughed.

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P.S. Its hard trying to think of who might be reading this and what they might know about me or what I write already. And there aren’t many people yet reading anyway. So I’ll just not bother with details, if you are too curious, feel free to ask anything.

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