Are We Still Cool?

Yelp Almost Got Me Beaten Up

Cool Dad — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:48:27 +0000

In the summer of 2011, I’m pretty sure that I made social media history. I got a marketing internship with Yelp, which must’ve made made me the oldest Internet intern EVER at the age of 34. In a field with CEOs in their 20s, I think that intern positions are most often given to middle schoolers, or at least college students like some of my fellow interns.

As part of my internship, I got the snazzy I * NY shirt that you see at the right. The shirt’s just for Yelp employees, and we wore it when we worked at events. The asterisk-looking symbol is the Yelp Burst, a part of their logo.

We were asked not to wear the shirt for day-to-day going out – it was essentially our uniform – since whatever shady behavior we engaged in would reflect on Yelp. That made sense, and I complied.

When we visited Florida last week, I brought the shirt with me. It’s been a year since my internship, and I gave up shady behavior for Lent and haven’t looked back. If anything, I was all about good behavior the day I trotted out in my Yelp schwag.

I went to Goodwill to donate some stuff that we were STILL storing at the Cool Grandparents’ place (three and half years into our move to NYC). While I was walking through the store, I heard someone yell, “Excuse me?!” I had no reason to believe that I was being addressed, but I turned around anyway.

A woman walked up, pointed at my shirt, and asked, “What’s that mean?”

It took a second before I realized she was asking about the Yelp Burst. “Oh, this?” I said, pointing at the red and white star.

“Yeah.”

I should’ve gone back to the pitch I’d said a hundred times the summer before. Yelp is a website that connects real people with local businesses. Say you felt like sushi for dinner and wanted to know the best place in your area… However, I was caught off guard and failed to revert to marketing intern mode.

“Um, Yelp is a website in New York City that I worked for and this thing is, uh, like their logo, and it’s called a burst…”

She pursed her lips and explained, “OK…cause I thought you was dissing New York, and I’d have to come over here and hem you up!!” and walked away.

Being 5’6, getting ‘hemmed up’ is usually a good thing. It’s how all of my pants from Uniqlo fit so well. However, I think this hemming up would’ve involved a right hook and possible knee to the groin. She must have been from New York, or at the very least, an ardent fan of Friends.

“I live in New York!” I called after her, just to cement my case. I thought about adding “IN THE BRONX!” to bust out my street cred, but she was gone.

Being the Oldest Social Media Intern Ever is a curious enough achievement. I’m glad I didn’t become the First Former Intern Martyred for His/Her Website.

No related posts.

One Truth That’s Taught Me Patience with the Cool Bros

Cool Dad — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:42:27 +0000

Cool Boy reached his most rebellious stage a few months ago, but things have mellowed out here, thanks be to God. He still has his moments, and I’m not surprised. He turns 5 this month and is becoming more independent with every day that passes. We may have turned the corner on rebellion, though, and we just might be at the stage where I can entrust CB with my daily administrative affairs. That would be awesome.

But I’m not in the clear yet. Cool Newbie’s about to turn 2, and dude is a spitfire. He’s not (too) destructive or (too) violent, but he has more of an attitude than his big bro did. He’s likely trying to establish street cred and respect since he’s literally the newbie around the Cool Household.

So since both Cool Bros can front some attitude, I’ve doubly had to remind myself of patience and love. During one recent episode, I dawned upon a truth that’s gone a long way in giving these little guys grace. Cool Boy was being unreasonable about something when I realized:

He’s only been alive for 4 years!

I know adults who make illogical decisions – some self-destructive – and throw virtual tantrums. They’ve been alive anywhere from 25 to 75 years. And here’s my little guy having an occasional moment of defiance, and he’s only been around 4 YEARS. As in, two years ago, he was just a little two-year-old! That’s pretty good! And Newbie’s only been on this earth for ONE YEAR and a half, so I need to cut the kid some slack! A year and a half ago, he wasn’t even born. Two and a half years ago, HE DIDN’T EVEN EXIST ANYWHERE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

Remembering that our young children are actually very young has helped me in showing them more love and patience. I praise them even more for doing right and succeeding at little things.

I’m annoyed that it took me so long to figure out something so obvious, but go easy on me: I’ve only been at this for a couple of years!

Could the Cool Bros Be Models? [photos]

Could the Cool Bros Be Models? [photos]

Cool Dad — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:14:38 +0000

When Cool Boy was a baby, people gushed over how cute he was; some went as far as to say that he was one of the cutest babies they’d ever seen. That may have been a line that they used to get in our good graces, but I fell for it anyway.

I wanted CB to model (a.k.a. start making the Cool Fam some money with his good looks). However, we lived in Gainesville, FL, and as far as I knew, modeling opportunities for kids were few.

Once we moved to New York City, with its endless opportunities, we still didn’t try to get CB to model. It had something (or everything) to do with the early morning auditions and the metric ton of kids that we’re sure were competing for each shoot.

In late 2009, we finally gave modeling a shot because, this time, it was right up our alley: online submission. Make Your Child a Star from the Comfort of Your Own Home! It was the Gap Casting Call, and we submitted the cutest photos we could find of CB. Alas, the finalists were announced, and CB wasn’t among them. I was bitterly disappointed.

The following years, I thought about submitting to the Gap Casting Call again because we’re fighters and survivors. I was NOT going to give up on my dream of CB’s good looks making us a ton of money so I could retire. But I always missed the deadlines.

This year, someone sent me the link to the Gap Casting Call well ahead of time, and I was determined to enter CB and Cool Newbie. A double dose of Cool Cuteness! When the deadline rolled around – this past Sunday – I was ready to find some photos to submit.

However, I had a hard time finding pics to submit. I had mostly snapped the boys doing something silly or goofy, nothing Gap-model-type. Cool Mum said not to bother with the casting call. She argued that the odds of getting picked are so slim that it’s not worth the effort.

I agreed, and the deadline for the Gap Casting Call passed. Stardom averted for another season. I was kind of relieved because IF a Cool Bro made it into the finals, I’d have to pester you all to votebomb the contest everyday.

This morning, I cleared out my camera’s memory card and stumbled upon a few Gap-model-type photos. I’m happy to submit them to you, the Cool Readers. No voting, no prizes or scholarships at stake. Just pics of the Cool Bros among friends.

Here are Cool Boy and Cool Newbie (who has the dour modeling face down) striking poses on Easter.

Will the Real AWSC Please Stand Up?

Cool Dad — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:04:09 +0000

In my years of observation from an outside perspective, it seems that Cool People know about stuff. Like if you mention something, they don’t scratch their heads with a “HUH?” They know what you’re talking about and just nod coolly.

And when Cool People talk to each other, they use cool things like nicknames and acronyms because they know what they’re talking about and don’t have to explain every little thing.

I’ve long touted AWSC as an acronym for this blog, just like a Cool Person would. I doubted there would be any confusion; how many AWSCs could there be? Google gave me the answer: a lot.

Our little blog is basically nowhere to be found in a Google search for ‘AWSC’. Maybe I should jump ship to one of these other AWSC websites.

The top result belongs to the Association of Wisconsin Snowmobile Clubs. Instead of Cool Dad, I’d be Cold Dad. And while I’ve been to Wisconsin numerous times, I’ve never ridden a snowmobile.
The Atlanta Water Ski Club glides in next. As a youth growing up in Central Florida, I tried to water ski many times, only to result in a variety of face plants and butt plants. My shark jumping days were over before they even started.
In third is the Automatic Welding and Supply Corporation. Welding sounds pretty cool! Joining slabs of metal with molten filler material? That’s worth at least 30 cool (or hot) points.
And then we have The American Water Spaniel Club. God-willing, there will never be a Cool Dog. Dogs are nice; I actually played with a few this weekend, but the Cool Bros generate enough poop for us to manage.

Our blog doesn’t appear in the search results until page 9! It looks like we’ll never lay claim to being the true AWSC, but I’ve decided to stay put. As cool as the Automatic Welding and Supply Corporation looks, I don’t like how I look in the mask.

Visiting Orlando, Part 3: Churches

Cool Mum — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 11:10:41 +0000

photo: Val Entertainment on Flickr

I missed my home church in NYC, Trinity Grace Church, but had a great time visiting a different church every week in Orlando over Christmas break. It is fascinating to see how different congregations worship the same God in their services.

Here are highlights from each of the visits:

Christ Church Orlando

I arrived late and left early, and it was their Christmas play, but really appreciated the short videos where members of the congregation shared personal stories of God’s power.

Discovery Church

They have a luxurious “family room” where parents can stay with their kids during the service and watch it live on a large TV. Comfortable couches and toys were a nice contrast to what can often be a stressful time of trying to keep your kids from disturbing everyone.

Grace Church Orlando

The pastor was a motivating tell-it-like-it-is kind of guy who was cool without trying.

St. Mary’s of the Angels

A very friendly Episcopal church. I was only able to attend the Wednesday Bible studies and a Wednesday mass. My scholarly friend Andrew recently became the rector…youngest leader of all the churches I visited. Inspiring to see God at work. I will be back to this one.

Summit Church

The service I attended was in a windowless former movie theater. But you would never know by the looks of the interior. The kids area was pretty amazing and well organized and the pastor had some sermon points that got me thinking.

We Want a Huge Family!

Cool Mum — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:48:06 +0000

Yes, Cool Readers, we want a huge family and we want it as soon as possible! My Lent break from the usual Facebook and email activity left me with some pretty clear perspectives on this.

Check out my Post-Lent Rant:

I’m sick of letting 80% of my conversations come through Facebook and email.
I’m sick of looking to the iPad to sing songs with me and speak truth over my life.
I’m sick of praying by myself too much as if my relationship with God has nothing to do with others.
I’m sick of learning and hearing stories from books or online rather than in person.
I’m sick of pretending I can do everything myself.
I’m sick of being thought of only in the roles of wife and mother.
I’m sick of letting my interior thoughts become a god.
I’m sick of being a cold, uncompassionate person who never cries.

Now, before you ship us off to Babies “R” Us for the jumbo pack of diapers, let me clarify what we mean by having a huge family around.

Life is short, and we’re not leaning in the direction of more Cool Babies right now. We also feel that we are supposed to stay where we are.

So, the fastest way we can see to get a humungous family is to invite friends/family to move closer, get to know more neighbors, and get some Cool Roomies again. There are way too many blessings in here to just keep within the four members of this family!

Young Oceans: A Worship Soundscape. Get It for Free! [video]

Cool Dad — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 19:20:10 +0000

This Easter weekend, hearts around the world are turned toward the things of Heaven. So, I just wanted to share some music that’s turned our hearts toward Heaven.

Last Friday, some worship leaders from our church unveiled a new project called Young Oceans with a CD release show/party. It was a pretty cool affair, with the band set up in a spacious loft apartment in Soho.

To paraphrase from the band, the music is intended to be a soundscape to inspire worship, meditation, and rest. Its distinctive blend of rock, gospel, and electronic do just that. The songs have been drifting in my head for the past week.

And here’s where you come in: I encourage you to receive this music and listen. After all, it’s free through Noisetrade!

If you’ve never used Noisetrade before, it’s a platform where you can download music – legally – and pay what you want to support the artists. Here you go! (click the play button to listen to the whole album)

We hope that these modern hymns will bless you as much as they’ve blessed us.

Finally, here’s a quick moment from last Friday night’s show. Cool Mum and I went with a friend, and, though we didn’t plan on it, we had some extra company as well.

Cool Dad’s Valiant First Try at the Wonderwash [video]

Cool Dad — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 12:59:56 +0000

While Cool Mum roamed Manhattan for her birthday, I wanted to bless her with another gift at home: doing the laundry.

At first I told CM that I would go to the laundromat with the Cool Bros to knock it all out. When I got home, I looked at the two huge bags of dirty clothes, then at Cool Boy, then at Cool Newbie, then at the 1.5 flights of stairs, back at Cool Boy, then Newbie, then at the clock to see if it was time for CM to come home yet.

The task of hauling all of that laundry and All My Children downstairs and a couple of blocks down the street didn’t look so promising. I turned to our old friend, the Wonderwash. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Fortunately, I wasn’t washing any of CM’s favorite light-colored pieces. But if you see CB wearing light blue socks in a video, think of them as CM’s birthday present from me.

Happy Birthday, Cool Mum!!

Cool Dad — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:03:27 +0000

Today, I want to write about the birthday of my curly-haired beloved, whose gentle smile and unique sass have had an eternal impact on my life. So, I’m thrilled to say…

Happy Birthday, Ron Palillo, better known as Arnold Dingfelder Horshack on Welcome Back Kotter! Going strong at 63, my man!

Har, har – I couldn’t let April Fool’s go by without a little pranksterism. Of course, I’m really talking about our curly-haired, gentle-smiling, uniquely sassy Cool Mum! Happy Birthday, my love!!

We’re going out for a late lunch in Queens and then free birthday fro-yo on the Upper East Side. Then I’m going to abandon CM in the city to wander around and eventually find her way home. If you don’t think that’s a birthday blessing, you probably don’t have kids.

Wish Cool Mum a happy birthday in the comments, and say what you would get her if money were no object!

Today’s Homeschool Lesson in Math: Mega Millions!

Cool Dad — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:39:50 +0000

Cool Boy is only 4 years old, but he’s rocking the kindergarten homeschool curriculum! He’s so advanced that I decided that today’s lesson would be about integers, randomness, and working with a bounded set.

Knowing that our readers are a well-educated bunch, I know that I don’t have to review what integers are, but some of you might need a refresher on what exactly a bounded set is. Heck, I got an A in Calculus III in college, and I still needed Wikipedia’s help to make sure.

A bounded set is a set of real numbers that is bounded from below and above to make a finite interval. For today’s lesson, we defined a bounded set of, say, 56 integers, from 1 to 56.

Then I introduced the concept of randomness into today’s exciting lesson, and I had Cool Boy pick 5 integers out of our bounded set. It was so fun, that we formed another bounded set of 1 to 46, and I had him pick one integer at random!

I can’t wait to go to 7-11 and tell them about all the fun we had in today’s lesson. Enrichment is fun. I already feel like a (or 540) million bucks!