photo by Joel Salazar/Flickr

Cool Mum gave up gluten as part of her diet overhaul when she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. After having Cool Newbie, she stuck with her diet and has been gluten-free (‘GF’ to those in the know) ever since. I’ve supported her decision, aside from a few (or many) complaints when it came time to pick what to get at a restaurant or grocery store.

Gluten-free is great…for her. She’s never pushed her diet upon me; I’ve been my pizza, cookie, and bread-loving self. But when we talked about what to give up for Lent, the question came up: What about gluten? 

“What ABOUT gluten?” I wanted to respond. “It’s fine! I don’t have a problem! I can stop whenever I want! You’re not the boss of me!” The image of a rising crust DiGiorno pizza in the oven ballooning and browning played in my mind’s eye. Regardless, I prayed about it, and the idea baked to a golden crisp in its own right.

I confirmed to CM on Tuesday that I was giving up gluten for Lent. A couple of friends have had incredible health turnarounds from giving up gluten, including skin and digestive issues, so who knows what medical miracle it might do for me. That optimism lasted only the night.

When I woke up on Ash Wednesday, I was hungry for my trusty Trader Joe’s Maple Shredded Wheat cereal, the go-to breakfast that’s fast, filling, and slightly sweet. But then I remembered that it was the first day of Lent. MAN! My reliable bowl of gluteny goodness that powered my every morning now wasn’t an option. And so were my quick dashes into pizza joints when I was hungry in Manhattan. And so was my favorite French bakery in Queens.

I began to file an appeal with CM (as if I couldn’t take it up with God myself), telling her that I didn’t want to give up gluten. I would instead give up watching and following pro basketball! I watch NBA highlights and read about my Boston Celtics every day, and that adds up to a fair chunk of time. It would be so RIGHT to give that up, to free me from the distraction.

CM didn’t try to talk me into or out of anything. She just encouraged me to figure out what I should do. I grumbled for a bit, but stuck with the original plan. To my relief, I survived the day with no gluten. I had oatmeal, lettuce wraps with turkey, cheese, yogurt and fruit, and stir-fry over rice (though my favorite teriyaki sauce contained wheat and was ineligible for use). This morning, I had a balanced breakfast of turkey bacon, cheese, lettuce, and an egg.

I admit that this isn’t that bad; I have plenty of options. And if I suffer severe pizza withdrawal, there are places around the city where I can grab a good gluten-free slice.

So, I’m ready to face the next 39 days without wheat. And that’s NOTHING compared to what Cool Mum gave up…

Related posts:

1. How is your Lent fast going?
2. Lessons from Lent and tomorrow’s news
3. 2 More Sugar-Free Dairy-Free Gluten-Free Treats for National Nutrition Month

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:2

We get a kick out of experimenting and doing things a little differently in life. From the WonderWash, to cutting our own hair, to giving our kid salads. The larger goal is not just to be different, but to be transformed by the one who made us. To actually live by what we tell ourselves we believe and value. What could be cooler than that? 

If this makes us “not a success” in the eyes of most Americans, then so be it. We can’t imagine living any other way. We gotta fight…for our right…to beeee weird!

On that note, we want to thank you, our readers, for coming along for that ride. We’d love to hear your stories.

We’re looking for folks to guest post or interview here on Are We Still Cool. Please email us and let us know how you’ve gone against common sense to chase your dreams or live more closely to your own values or beliefs.

Maybe you dropped out of college to start your own business? Or moved to the country to start a farm? Or quit your job to pursue your creative passions? Come on over. Inspire us!

No related posts.

Well, college ended and you still couldn’t drag us away. If we couldn’t attend college anymore, at least we could work there. And that is what we did. Our first apartment as a married couple was immediately across the street from campus, near some fraternity houses. When we looked out our window on a Saturday morning, we saw a few participants of the “walk of shame.” We could also walk to Leonardo’s By the Slice or stroll among the brick buildings or join the rush of students between classes anytime we wanted. And Cool Dad’s rock band was still in full swing. 

“But, you should focus on your marriage and career! You’re not in college anymore!” we heard society telling us. Slowly we started to give in. Most of our college friends were moving away anyway. And we did think it would be nice to move from a one bedroom to a two bedroom, and then eventually to a three bedroom house.

Looking back, that was when my spiritual life started fizzling out. I personally entered a rough patch where I didn’t really want to go to church or think about spiritual things. I wasn’t inspired. I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t very well connected with others. Most people were delving into their careers too, so there was little time to see each other. I was focusing on the marriage, as if that was the source of my whole fulfillment. Bad idea. Even when you’re totally in love, you NEED your friends around!

Six years later, we found ourselves in a (small by Florida standards) 1100-square-foot house on an acre of land that felt way too big for us. We had many wonderful friends, but it seemed that something was still missing. We sought community through blogging and Facebook and all sorts of other geeky means. But, it still wasn’t the dorms. And then we found ourselves picking up and moving to NYC, not knowing why.

Later, I realized that anyone who loved college dorm life will love living here.

• Tiny living spaces? Check.
• Communal laundry? Check.
• Neighbors on all six sides of you? Check.
• Public common areas that people actually use? Check.
• Lots of talk among interesting strangers? Check.
• “School Spirit”? Check.
• Non-scary public transportation? Check. (Well, most of the time.)

Now we know this is one of the reasons we can’t get ourselves to leave. We have just begun to get the whiff of community. We need people. When we are overflowing with joy as a family, we need people to share that with. When we go out, we need to see and talk to people who are different from us. When we’re frustrated, we need people outside our immediate family to empathize with us. When God is teaching us things, we need people to keep us accountable. When we’re screwing up big time, we need people to say, “What the heck are you thinking?” We also need to be these things to other people.

I think this stems back to the things we believe about how loving God and loving others is so interwoven. It is clear he did not create us to just pray to him and forget every human around us. Before the first sin, God said it was not good for man to be alone. And we don’t think that was just a commercial for the wedding industry.

Like Ms. Streisand said:

People who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world.
We’re children, needing other children,
And yet letting a grown-up pride,
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children than children.

Right on, Barbra! Call me a funny girl, but I think: no dishwasher, no washing machine, no problem. We ARE the luckiest!

Related posts:

1. Running into people (in a non-violent way)
2. What people do when walking in halls and on sidewalks
3. What in the world would I do without baby carriers?

We dropped the Cool Bros off with a friend and raced home for a lovely Middle Eastern dinner courtesy of our personal chef, Trader Joe. Cool Mum spread the ingredients on the table: a bag of pitas, tubs of tabouli and tahini sauce, and a package of falafels. A half-eaten container of hummus, fresh from the refrigerator, joined them. 

After a swift nuking of the falafels and pitas, dinner was served. It was glorious – stuffing warm pitas with steaming falafels, crisp tabouli, smooth hummus, and tangy tahini with one’s beloved. We marked this special moment by reliving the carefree days before we had children. We watched TV – DURING DINNER. That’s a big deal for us.

Not technically TV, but we started Netflix on the iPad and knocked out two episodes of The Office. (We’re catching up.) Then our Valentine’s Day date was over, and we visited with our friend who watched the bros.

It was only a couple of hours out of the 24 on February 14, but they made our Valentine’s Day.

How was your Valentine’s Day?

Related posts:

1. What do you want your kid to be when he/she grows up? (I want Cool Baby to be a knight, sort of)

Cool Dad: It was October, and CM and I had been dating for two months. I graduated from the University of Florida in August with a degree in the exciting and lucrative field of Industrial and Systems Engineering. As any sensible engineering grad would do, instead of pursuing an exciting and lucrative job, I stayed in Gainesville to pursue adventures with my Christian rock band.

Back to October, CM and I were on a weekend retreat with our campus ministry, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, in Daytona Beach. My band led the worship music for the retreat. Though we had led worship for many weekend events in many beach towns along the Florida coast, this was a new experience for me: I had a girlfriend. 

Our first two months had gone swimmingly. We enjoyed spending time together, and we rarely argued. It was only natural that on Saturday of the retreat, on the moonlit shore after a time of singing and praying as a group, that I Iooked into CM’s brown doe eyes and told her gently, sweetly: “I love you.”

Cool Mum: Well, it was a little more confusing than that. You actually finished up the prayer time by telling everyone to say “I love you” to all of their friends. I had no idea what to think! You probably said “I love you” to a couple of my friends and acquaintances on your way over to me!

CD: That was different. They didn’t have the distinction of being my girlfriend for a whole TWO months!

CM: One and a half months, to be exact. Does that seem a little early to you, looking back?

CD: Can true love every be too early?

CM: Maybe! I did have a best guy friend who wanted to marry me when we were 4. Aren’t you glad that didn’t pan out?

CD: I guess true love waits, too. I heard that somewhere. Anyway, after I told CM the three magical words, she looked back and said… What was it that you said?

CM: I think I may have said the words you wanted to hear. Silently. But it was all very confusing! I wasn’t quite ready to say it yet. Even though you already had my heart. Out loud, I may have said “Thank you.” And STILL you took me to look at rings that night. Remember, we settled on the kind that costs a quarter at the grocery store candy machine. I still have it on my keychain.

CD: Really? I don’t remember much after that. Actually, I don’t remember much before Cool Boy was born. I think I was hoping that you would accept the ring as like a fun, quirky, hey-lets-get-married-with-this-toy-ring-so-CD-won’t-have-to-go-diamond-shopping-and-learn-about-the-4-Cs kind of thing.

…Ring-shopping? Wow. What was I thinking? That’s way early!

CM: Well, with any other guy, I would’ve run for the hills. Somehow I didn’t want to!

CD: Thankfully, Florida has no hills!

CM: I guess I had no escape. I didn’t even have a car at that beach trip.

CD: I love it when a plan comes together.

CM: So what was it like for you when I didn’t return the three magical words to you?

CD: Well, it kind of derailed my hopes to kiss passionately on the beach with the tide washing over us. I think the music video for “Wicked Game” was my main inspiration.

Of course, I was disappointed. I didn’t know how it all worked. I was glad to still have you as my girl. CM can take the story from here. The ball was in her court.

CM: “Wicked game”…boy I sure hope my dad is not reading this.

The next few months were full of deep philosophical conversations about why I wasn’t ready to say it. I certainly didn’t want you to give up on me! Month after month would go by and I could see that it was taking its toll. But I was determined not to say it before I could mean it.

CD: Deep philosophical conversations…my favorite.

CM: Finally, early February, we were in church and singing a song that said “I love you” to Jesus. I remember thinking that it was my heart’s desire, but that my whole life would be spent making that statement true in practice. Then, I realized I could be free to say that to you, even though my love was selfish and immature. Because I wanted to be working on that love for life.

It wasn’t until Valentines Day that I finally said the words to you–12 years ago today!

CD: Woo-hoo! Happy ‘I Love You’ Anniversary!

CM: Same to you….Maybe as a Valentines Day gift, I will give you all the philosophical reasons for my love. You’d like that, right?

+ + +

And, of course, since that fateful day, CM and I have pointlessly bickered until we died hand-in-hand one night in a nursing home.

Oh wait, that was The Notebook. We both detested that movie. We really are soulmates.

Related posts:

1. Nothing but love for laundromats
2. Falling in love with the Upper East Side, much to Cool Dad’s dismay
3. Doing Something You Truly Love: What’s the Catch?

My latest memory of Whitney was when we attended a dance party and “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” came on. The crowd cheered, and we boogied away to the carefree tune. The DJ, probably sensing that he was playing too mainstream, changed it to Skrillex or something. (The dance floor emptied.)

The Queen of Pop has joined its king as one who’s gone too soon. Though I didn’t follow her closely, she seemed to me to be a natural star: blessed with talent, stage presence, and a bevy of songs that intimately connected with her fans. Her tragic death is another reminder that life is precious and fragile, and that all of the trappings the world can offer – success, in a generic sense – is no real source of joy and security.

I hope that, at some point in her remarkable life, Whitney felt the love that she sang so powerfully about when I first saw her.

Related posts:

1. There’s new life in the Cool Duplex!
2. Believe it or not, my life is blogging
3. The dramedy never ends

“My legs are tired!”

We’ve walked up and down this city, so I know he has the stamina. He may just want to be carried; can’t say I blame him. If there were a chance that I could yell out, “My legs are tired!” and someone would give me a piggyback ride to the subway station, I’d probably take it.

But I’m not buying CB’s complaint. I’m 35, I have a bad back, and CB’s wearing sensible shoes (with skulls on them, for some reason. Mental note: talk to CM about footwear purchasing decisions). So I whip out one of parents’ most effective weapons against complaining: The Empty Threat. 

In the “tired legs” scenario, I have several options for an effective Empty Threat. Good ones include:

We have to go! We’ll just leave you here and pick you up later then! As we learned in Home Alone 2, being a kid alone in NYC sounds fun at first, but eventually is unfulfilling and downright scary.

Okay, we’ll leave you here and have fun without you! This compounds the scary prospect of being alone in NYC with missing the revelry taking place at the trip’s destination (the bank).

Well, I guess we’ll just spend the night here. I don’t want to sleep on this cold, dirty sidewalk. Do YOU? I like this one better because it dials back the possibility of abandonment. If CB chooses wrong, we’d face the miserable situation together. But it would still be miserable.

To avoid inflammatory comments and visits from Child Services, I’ll clarify that we unconditionally love our children and WE WOULD NEVER DO ANY OF THESE. They are “empty threats” that carry no substance. But boy do they work.

Here are some others that we’ve found to be effective:

No computer games for ONE WEEK! This sounds good in theory…until CB is pleading for attention while CM battles the devastation of an exploded diaper. Save me, iPad; you’re our only hope.

STOP or else I’ll throw this toy away! Imagining his favorite Lightning McQueen wedged next to an exploded diaper will stop any kid in his tracks. However, we’d have to buy another car to diminish the emotional scarring, and we’re cheap.

That’s it– NO college for you! After visiting our old stomping grounds, the University of Florida, I’m sure CB dreams of being a CMOC (Cool Man on Campus). But we could NEVER prevent the opportunity for him to take part in higher education, for him to discover himself and dollar drafts, for us to spend tens of thousands on a philosophy degree. Actually…

+ + +

Cool Boy, the first time you read this post, you’ll probably be mad at me. We were just doing what was best for you, keeping you from causing harm to yourself, others, or our home.

And the second time you read this post, you’ll probably be looking for ideas for dealing with the Cool Grandkids. You’re welcome.

Related posts:

1. Can I make Cool Baby sound uneducated for just a little longer?
2. Signs That Make It Look Like We’re Poor (But We’re Not): City Dweller Edition
3. We’re deceiving our way to Parents of the Year

Okay, it’s true: I’m 35, but who was it that said that Life begins at 35! and 35 is the coolest age yet, and you’re not an irrelevant fogey who needs to start Yelping the best Early Bird Specials in the neighborhood? (I think it was me, on my birthday.)

For work, I’m happy with the flexibility of freelancing, but I always have my eye on cool part-time jobs to shoot for. I might think about a full-time job again if it were amazing enough. Well, I recently realized that there’s a position opening up that I’m qualified for: President of the United States! And now that I’m 35, I’m eligible to apply!

According to Wikipedia, here are the requirements to be POTUS:

1. Be a natural born citizen of the United States. Despite my dad’s old teasing that I was born in Jamaica (probably during my rasta phase from 1 to 1.5 years), my birth certificate confirms my Connecticut birth.
2. Be at least thirty-five years old; Yup.
3. Have been a permanent resident in the United States for at least fourteen years. Been here, done that.

The wiki also states an applicant that meets the above requirements still may be disqualified if:

1. They’ve already been elected president twice. Nope.
2. “Upon conviction in impeachment cases, the Senate has the option of disqualifying convicted individuals from holding other federal offices, including the presidency.” I think this means that if I were impeached from another federal office, I might be declared ineligible to be POTUS. Regardless, I don’t think I have to worry about it. I haven’t held an office since college. I’ve barely worked in one, either; my workspaces have all been glorified storage closets.
3. If you swore an oath to support the Constitution and later rebelled against the United States. I forget if I had to swear to support the Constitution to register to vote or get a CVS ExtraCare card. I’m positive that I haven’t rebelled against dear old America. Unless they mean in an ultra-cool, Rebel Without a Cause James Dean kind of way, which, in my case, is definitely no.

So, I’ve got the green light to apply to be President! Off to Monster.com to find that job posting…

Related posts:

1. Would President Obama be so beloved if…
2. Mom Jeans: If they’re good enough for the President…

But something tells me that they won’t. I just have to accept that it’s February 1 and that the first month of the year is already behind us. That means that the first month of our well-intentioned resolutions for 2012 are history, too. How’s that going for ya? 

For the New Year, I resolved to spend time everyday, even if only a few minutes, to read the Bible and pray. By God’s grace, I’ve actually stuck with it. I’ve missed a day or two, but I was able to catch up on my reading plan the next day. For the first time in my life, I’m keeping 100% of my resolutions going into the second month of the year. Maybe turning (insert age here) was just what I needed to nail down some discipline.

Are you still going with your New Year’s resolution(s)?

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1. Nine Cool Years: Happy Anniversary to Us!

My first Trader Joe's receipt in six weeks. Wait, why are there nachos on my beautiful grocery memento? Cool Dad!

Over Christmas, we spent five weeks in Orlando (my hometown)
with friends and different extensions of the Cool Fam. When planning our trip, my first concern was food of course! What would I do without my beloved Trader Joe’s?

The six-week TJ’s Break turned out to be a good thing. Prices were so high for organic food in Florida that I began to eat less overall. I also ate a lot more organic bulk-bin dry beans, for better or for worse. Between that and the miles of wandering around Whole Foods not knowing where anything was, I got into better shape!

In all seriousness, if you find yourselves TJ-less, you can start with a list like this to see where to buy what. Luckily my weekly shopping list has become pretty simple after learning about GMOs, BPA in cans, produce with the highest pesticide levels, and gluten.

Publix

• Grass-fed beef
• Conventional bananas
• Conventional avocados
• Organic celery
• Organic carrots

Costco

• Organic frozen raspberries
• Organic frozen blueberries
• Organic frozen mixed vegetables
• Organic quinoa
• Organic 21-spice mixture (highly recommended)

They also had an interesting and expensive package of organic beef that showed a cow grazing on grass but the meat inside was not actually grass-fed. Boo. I am spoiled by TJ’s.

Whole Foods Market

• Organic frozen vegetables: Mediterranean mix, broccoli/carrot/cauliflower mix, chopped spinach
• Organic free range eggs
• Organic frozen chicken
• Organic whole plain yogurt (Seven Stars farm) without thickeners
• Various bulk bins for nuts, beans, quinoa, oats, and dried dates
• Canned (but bpa-free Native Forest) organic coconut milk
• Cheese from grass-fed cows!!! (only one brand available even here)
• Unsweetened dried coconut

Various farmers markets

• Random things like organic parsnips or kale

Overall, I was disappointed that many vendors did not offer pesticide-free items. If I lived in Orlando, I would try the Homegrown Co-op, where you can order local produce online and pick it up at the store.

In Part 2, I’ll talk about the places where the cool people hang out in Orlando. Clue: they aren’t taking pictures with Pluto and Minnie.

Related posts:

1. Why I’m Learning to Like Red Meat
2. Cool Baby Food Part II: Organic or not?
3. First Time Cooking a Whole Chicken — A Spiritual Experience!