Your mannerisms have to reflect your inner attitude.

Before I open the door to seducer wisdom for you, though, remember that all you learn here has to become a reflection of your innermost being and convictions. Otherwise, it’ll be smoke and mirrors, and you’ll end up pissing your girl off majorly when she discovers that you were trying to pull “techniques” on her. Do not “act” this. BE it. All right, now here we go.

Eye contact.

I find it disconcerting how many people avoid steady and solid eye contact in everyday life, even when they are already in a conversation. You want to get good with women? Start practicing eye contact right now, and I’m talking every person you ever come across here. Once you’re in a conversation with a girl, you want to hold steady eye contact and explore her eyes with true curiosity. They reflect what people think and feel inside. Which brings us to the next point:

Radiate sexual energy.

With a steady eye contact, your thoughts will transmit. There is an energy, an aura, that every person has, and it can be transferred across the physical boundaries of our bodies. If you are sitting close to the girl, perhaps facing her on the same bench (and that’s a situation you hopefully established when you came into the conversation – do not sit across a table, it gives you zero leverage!), and have been building some intensity in eye contact, don’t let your thoughts be about… libraries, bees and flowers or the Ark of the Covenant. This is male-female interaction, spice it up! Think about what it would feel like to kiss her, the texture of her lips (look at them), the taste of her tongue. Think about your breath on her neck. She’ll feel that vibe.

If you’re never even thought about what kind of energy you project, then you’re very likely missing out on an entirely other level of communication with women.

Slow down.

Hectic or quick movements will never spark any gut-level attraction in a woman. Be a lover with a slow hand, a man with an easy touch. Love and seduction are smooth and tender, and so have to be your movements: imagine your movements as one flow – they’re all interconnected, like the movements of a ballet dancer. In a steady flow, escalation is not happening in steps, it is just moving along gaplessly to higher and higher points.

Lower your voice.

A nervous, high-pitched, rushed voice is anything but attractive or even seductive. The real seduction kicks in when you tone down your voice to a croon that still vibrates with low-key energy. In those moments, it doesn’t even matter what you say. I once listened to a girl explain to me the procedures for signing up and paying for a workshop. While she was speaking, I looked deeply into her eyes with calm and desire, and when she was done, when I spoke, it was deep and slow. On the surface, we exchanged simple information, but on a deeper level, a lot of male-female tension was going on.

Establish body contact.

You want to put yourself into a position where you can easily get close to her, touch her, kiss her. If your head is already close to hers, it’s easier to reach her lips as getting up from your chair and walking around the table. Don’t hesitate to touch her legs with yours when sitting next to her, or take her hand when you’re making a point, or stroke her cheek with the back of a finger when she says something cute. Never do so in a clingy or needy way: remember that you are in control of the situation.

Watch “Don Juan DeMarco” with Johnny Depp.

I mean it.

These are a couple of pointers on your journey to discoverer how to seduce women. There are many ways that can lead to seduction and love: when and where you do what depends on the circumstances and the two individuals involved. When you “click” into somebody’s personality, and establish that vibe that starts with the first intense eye contact, you will have a “feel” for steering the interaction.

Put yourself into their trajectory.

If you’re stuck working in a cubicle during your normal day job, then slowly start exploring more social environments after work. For instance, go to a popular grocery store, take up yoga classes, go to the gym, meet up with friends for drinks in the evening or even coffee during the day. Look for opportunities to be surrounded by people, and seize those opportunities when they occur!

Bars, clubs or any kinds of social places are chick nests, my friend. They hatch there on a regular basis. Heck, you could even hang out in a book store, or a drugstore! Who cares if you’re just the guy who’s been there for half an hour! Know a yoga place in your area? Sign up for anything that you enjoy. You’ll get some interesting new experiences to boot. But remember, whatever you choose to do, do it for yourself first rather than to meet girls. Live your life for yourself, and women will be a bonus rather than the other way around.

Volunteer for social events.

Yeah that one’s a no-brainer. I mean, imagine selling beer at your city’s biggest festival. You’ll get nonstop chickage! Your co-workers are likely gonna be young and fun (and may include some hot girls to begin with), and the more you joke around with them, just having a good time, the more social proof you’re going to have in front of customers.

You can volunteer at festivals, parties, music gigs, community events, whatever comes up. Check out newspapers or look for flyers at your local venues, colleges, universities. Ask bar staff about what kinds of events they’ve heard of lately. Once you volunteer, you’ll make friends, they will become your social circle (or add to it) and hey, that’s going to make it easy for you to organize parties to which you can then, you guessed it, invite cute girls. “You like cooking? Hey, me and my friends are throwing a potluck on Sunday, you should come.”

Go to places girls go.

Yoga. Libraries. Bookstores. Aerobic places. Clothing and shoe stores. Also, consider what kind of girl you’re into: where would a goth chick go, where would a very educated woman go, where would you meet party girls? What do they do during the daytime?

Talk to them anywhere.

Wanna know where to meet girls? Look out your window! They’re out there bumming around in parks, walking the streets or sitting in cafés. Why not just walk up and say “Hi, my name’s …”? I’ll tell you what: nobody will mind if you don’t mind.

Lastly: be awesome.

Okay, so now you’ve signed up for the good stuff and they’re buzzing all around you. What next? Right, you’ll need to talk to them. Here’s now NOT to do it:

Scenario: you’re working in a drugstore.
Hot Babe: “Hey, do you know where I can find lipstick?”
You (nervous and shaky): “Oh! Oh uh… yeah…” (insecure laugh) “It’s… uh over there in aisle 3… I-I-I think… at the end.” (sweat breakdown)

Here’s how to do it instead:

Same scenario.
Hot Babe: “Hey, do you know where I can find lipstick?”
You (calm, collected, confident smile): “Hey there! Sure I do. Come on, I’ll take you there.” (start walking) “What’s your favourite lipstick colour?”
Hot Babe: “Red”
You: “Oh that’s cute! Far too few women wear red anymore, but it’s so classic and feminine. I love it.” etc. etc. etc.

Chat, chat, chat! Smile and be friendly! The worst thing that can happen is her going “uh huh”, “I see”, “thanks” and “bye”. What have you lost then? Nothing! Beyond that, there’s everything to gain. So get your balls together and be awesome. Same goes for any other kind of venue or job. Selling hot dogs? Tease your customers, joke around.

Most importantly, amuse yourself. You’re there to have fun! Take the 20 bucks they hand you and say “thanks! I’ll keep the change.” Wait for their reaction, then hand them the change and keep their food. Do whatever! Just don’t be the braindead zombie that goes (insert monotonous grunt) “that’ll be four fifty please – thanks – bye”.

So there we go. That’s it for today about how to meet girls. Of course, you may want to read our article “how to talk to girls” next to get some pointers about sticking around – or just go out there and make it happen right now. What time is it? Time to hit that bar around the corner and make friends with the staff.

I used to be desperate for any advice on how to meet girls: for a long time, I tried repeating all the funny, witty lines and routines that I’d read in books, but nothing ever got me very far. Then, one autumn evening, it hit me.

A risky move: going back to questions.

I was at a point in my studies about women and attraction where I had built up a solid personality and confidence. Practice had made me good in social situations, I had my life stories together, the social intelligence to tell them at the right moment and the enthusiasm to tell them with intrigue. So that evening, I realized that I was ready to go back to a basic concept that would have gotten me blown out of any conversation before my studies: asking questions.

You and me baby are nothing but mammals

However, before I tell you more about that, let me ask you a question: how do you think animals communicate? They don’t have words, language, phrases. They don’t have “pickup lines” and “openers”. Yet the males somehow manage to attract females – all the way to the big ol’ “f-close”. Fancy that! Now I want you to get the idea out of your head that just because we humans are more evolved than animals, we’re completely disconnected from the animal world. “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals”, remember that song? There’s a comic strip where you see a man getting mad at his dog, telling him in great detail why he’s not supposed to do whatever he did wrong. In the next panel, you see what the dog actually hears: “wah wah wah”. That dude is clearly doing something wrong.

Now, when you communicate with a woman (or anybody for that matter), guess what. Words are ultimately meaningless (which is why irony works, by the way). They are not what you communicate! What you communicate is your confidence, your tenure, your intention, your emotions, in effect, the whole vibe you give off.

So when I was getting ready for going out on that autumn night, I realized that I was actually really comfortable in my own skin. I had learned about the dynamics of attraction, I was largely aware of what was going on behind the scenes of an interaction, I “understood” what women were saying and what kinds of signals I was sending. In the recent weeks, much of what I’d been studying had pointed to the direction of “just be yourself”: something that friends used to tell me back in the old days when I had no game at all. “Being myself” never got me laid back then… But now that I was my improved self, I decided I would try asking more questions again. Only this time, there was a new twist:

Don’t open with a line. Open with a purpose.

Many guys tend to ask questions in a mere attempt to spark some conversation: “So where do you work?”, “What’s your name?”, “How old are you?”. The problem is, oftentimes, they don’t really know where they’re going with this: all they know is that this girl is hot and they want to be around her. The girl will sense that aimlessness, and she will lose interest. Now, when you have an actual purpose, that will show through your conversation, and it will make you interesting and attractive. When I ask girls questions now, my actual purpose is:

- I like the looks of this girl and I want to know more about her personality to see if she matches to what I’m looking for in a woman.

With that, I can be much more goal-oriented than I was before. Now here’s the thing for you: you should sit down and work out some of the purposes you would have when opening a girl. A couple of really good ones are:

- I want to have a good time (because without that, nothing will really work out).
- I want to find a friend with benefits.
- I want to meet fun people.
- I want to find a soulmate.
- I want a girl that shares my love for music.

Find out about your own intentions. Do you want a girlfriend? F-buddy? Female friend? Or simply build a social circle? Whatever it is, once you have it figured out, you’ll no longer worry about what to say to a girl. Words will come naturally, because they’re no longer the focus of the conversation. The focus is no longer on the words you utter – it’s on what you actually say.

Gambler, who’s pretty much my pickup genius friend, just came out with a really under-the-radar way of approaching girls without setting off her automatic rejection mechanism!

See, as much as I hate to admit it,
the ‘Old Chris Calo wasn’t always good with women.

I remember getting rejected all the time and I felt so bad!

In fact, I probably felt WORSE than most guys and that’s what really pushed me to “figure all this out”.

True Story: I once approached a girl in a bar in a very nice manner, I did all the things right but then she said: “Hey, I’m sure you’re nice but I don’t want to talk to *you* right now, can you leave?”

Even though I’d tell myself, “Ok, she doesn’t matter, whatever” it still hurt and I’d think about it all night. Getting blown out for no reason really sucks, especially when the girl is being nice about it :\

To be honest, I didn’t realize what I did wrong for an entire YEAR (that’s how long I was thinking about it)

And you know what? Gambler’s new under-the-radar report explains WHY in only a few pages…hah, I wish I would of had that back then!

So you don’t have to go through the same thing I did, wondering WTF I did wrong all night a few years ago!

- Chris

ps. Yes, Gambler doesn’t allow everyone to download it so that’s why you have to enter your email, it’s his rules, not mine!

Download it here
The-Rejection-Report.pdf

There’s one important skill, though, that sadly gets overlooked too often: it’s building a deep connection with a woman. And that should be a fundamental aspect of your game, the basis and ultimate goal of your endeavors.

Cut the superficial BS.

Gerry Rafferty sang: “This city desert makes you feel so cold, it’s got so many people but it’s got no soul.” All across our art and poetry, the notion of being lonely, but not alone persists. The poets speak of a void that even you may feel inside yourself, despite having friends, possessions, a career and successes: it’s a nagging lack of emotional fulfillment. Why is that? What fits into that hole? What have we lost in our Western societies? The answer: a true connection between human beings, and more precisely, the ability to establish it.

If you can connect with a woman, she’ll love you for it.

Being social animals, it’s part of our natural programming to respond to the interest of others. The feeling of understanding, acceptance and belonging is a powerful one that ties us together, so you’ll want to establish it in your social interactions – both with male friends and women.

The trick is, you must truly care about what she has to say.

Open the window to her soul.

Your first step in the right direction is to shift your mindset from “getting” value to “giving” it. Most of the time, when you shove the same trite lines in a girl’s face: “So, where do you work?”, “Where are you from?” or “I’m an accountant”, your underlying intention is to get something from her. You try to establish a conversation during which you will hopefully impress her enough with your achievements and ideas to get her affection and appreciation.

What if instead, you prompted her to share some truly personal and unique information about herself? You could easily open up the window to her soul instead of asking her for trivial every day banalities.

For instance, talk to her about:

1. Her passions ( What are you passionate about? )
2. What’s on her shelves and bedroom walls ( What does your room look like? )
3. Her childhood memories ( When you were a child, what did you do during sunny afternoons?)
4. Who and what influenced her most ( Do you have any idols? )
5. The most important people in her life ( Who do you talk to the most ? )
6. Her favorite actor, food, musician, artist ( What’s a good movie/band/place to eat these days?)

After you perform that shift in your communication, your quest is no longer about her thoughts or actions: it’s about her feelings and nature.

Your mindset: change from “taking” to “giving”.

So how does this tie in with you giving value to the girl instead of taking it? The answer is: by peeking into her personality, you put yourself in a position where you can give something meaningful to her. It’s the feeling that somebody listens and understands. It’s no longer about “picking up” or “getting laid”, but connecting on a personal level. Your curiosity will turn up facets of her personality on which you two can meet. The whole underlying concept is really simple; it’s personal interest.

Knowing what she likes, what she is passionate about, what has meaning to her, what turns her on allows you to be thoughtful with her. Because you have insight into her reality, you can easily assume her role in an interaction and see things through her eyes. If somewhere down the line, you get to a point where you want to make her a present (don’t bee to quick about this! It can come off as trying to “buy” her), you can pick something that she really likes and appreciates. When you go out, you can take her to places she will enjoy or show her things that you know she’ll love.

Here are two final tips for you:

1. Never be afraid to ask.
2. Feel free to take notes after your interaction!

How to Stand Out From the Rest.

From the first encounter to a night of hot passion, you always, always have the right to ask her about what she likes or desires – and note that her desires may even change, so why not stay up to date? Also, once you develop your mindset and attract more people into your life on a personal level, you will collect lots of tidbits about their personalities. Nothing’s wrong with writing some things down after the date. “Nancy loves chocolate-covered pretzels” is a good bit of “trivia” to remember when you want to make her happy. If you remember that she loves chocolate pretzels after 2 months, it will REALLY make a impression.

Building a deep connection with a woman is easier when you do it face-to-face, so avoid talking on the phone, chatting online or e-mailing too much. The reason is that all our senses are involved in our memories: a bunch of black letters on white background are so much harder to remember and connect to a particular person than the intonation of her voice, the sounds and smells in the air, the feel of the surroundings, her facial expressions and the spark in her eye when she talks about her biggest passions.

When you go out and connect to your new acquaintances and old friends, remember that you still need a sexual vibe when talking to a woman: don’t turn into a wimp now. The guy that knows it all without listening to her will not get laid, and listening and being attentive does not mean complying with her every wish and mood or bending over backwards to accommodate her. You are still the master of your own reality. Now go connect with a woman!

Today, I would like to talk to you about exciting conversation topics and interaction-starters. I believe that the bigger our repertoire of these is, the easier it will be to open up exciting conversations. Plus, the process keeps fuelling itself. If you bring up the right topics, people will tell you exciting stories from their lives, and with these, your repertoire will grow. “A friend told me this story (and I’d like to hear what you think)…”

Your repertoire for spellbinding conversation.

Here’s a secret for ya: we all have resources of rivetting and enthralling stories inside of us. All we need to do is tap into them! We already introduced you to some key aspects of enthralling stories in our article “How To Tell a Story That Captivates a Woman’s Attention”, but let’s have another scoop:

- Drama
- Conflict
- Emotion
- Adventure
- Excitement
- Personal transformation (”I used to be insecure…”)

The more your story pulsates with life and emotion, the more gripping it will be – and once you open the portal with these notions, conversation will flow quite easily. You are triggering a human excitement in your listener that will evoke their own stories in them.

Listen and move forward.

From there, it’s all about listening and moving forward: as your conversation partner replicates the spirit of your stories, you take the position of the listener. You take in what they say and let it trigger your next reaction: they bring up their family members, and you have a new topic to dissolve into.

Your vibe: be energetic!

Now here’s the catch: even the most exciting content can be excruciatingly boring if you tell it without any passion or devotion. On the other hand, if you sparkle with enthusiasm, you can even make your job as an accountant sound exciting (even though you’ll still want to pick better subjects if you have them). Here’s a tip: when you bring something up, lead into it with an energetic “oh my God!”.

But HOW do we open up this kind of conversation?

Here are a couple lines you can use to tap into the right kind of mood:

- Who do you love?
- What’s your ideal man like?
- What are you passionate about?
- What’s your favourite spot to get kissed?
- What’s the weirdest place you made love?

Human interest: your constant frame of mind.

All this has to become your permanent frame of mind. If you have to consciously shift into “human interest” mode every time you’re about to interact with somebody, it’ll come off as fake. If the human, emotional side of things is your standard perspective, though, it’ll be natural.

I suggest you take some time to find stories from your life that had an emotional impact, were exciting, adventurous, led you into a personal transformation. Write them down, it’ll make it easier to remember them and you can refresh them at will. As you accumulate interactions, you will never run out of things to say: you open up to people, and as they open up to you, they automatically contribute stories to your repertoire. When it grows, you will have better and better tools for intriguing conversation.