Art of Seduction

How To Approach A Group of Girls

2009-07-02T15:44:03Z

Have you ever laid your eyes on a group of really hot girls at a party or in a bar? Say, at least four of them? It’s like Christmas, only you don’t get to unwrap them, because you can’t approach a group of girls just like that, right? It’s too awkward, randomly breaking into a group. And scary. But seriously, it’s tempting, and you’d really like to get to know these girls. You’re in luck, because I’m here to tell you that it’s possible – and I’ll give you tools to do it! First step: get a friend to burn your money if you don’t approach.

1. Overcome Approach Anxiety.

I’m not pulling your Johnson. Hand your friend a 20 dollar bill and a lighter, then tell him to count down from 10. If you’re not approaching that group by zero, your 20 goes up in flames. Trust me, by the time you burned 60 bucks, you’ll approach girls like no tomorrow. The lesson is: don’t shoot yourself in the crotch. You need to get over your anxiety. If you can approach one person, why not a group? All you need is confidence and practice, and there’s nothing at stake. You’ll most likely never see these people again. Yes, you’ll feel awkward, and insecure, and land on your butt. I sure did. But that’s how you learn. You’ll never move forward if you don’t push your comfort zone, so get out there and do it.

2. How To Approach: Body Language.

a) Walking up: this mustn’t be different than walking up to a bunch of good friends. Take your hands out of your pockets, walk and breathe slowly and consciously. Look only at them, and discard the surroundings. You want to be aware of the present moment, but not distracted by it. Also, don’t move in too close: you don’t want to intrude their space. Stop close enough so you can talk to them easily without leaning forward.

b) Posture: leaning in is bad. You’ll be an intruder invading the group’s space, plus, it you’ll appear needy and clingy. Instead, you want to lean back just a tad, with your feet slightly apart. You will take up some space and it will show that you’re easy and comfortable.

c) Smile, but don’t overdo it: with a bright smile, you radiate positive energy. By smiling all over the place at everything they say and do, though, you’ll go overboard. Let your face mirror a positive attitude, but be serious or deadpan when needed, e.g. when delivering a funny line.

d) Gestures: as I said earlier, hands out of your pockets! Use them while you speak. For starters, fold your hands in front of your chest for a good vantage point. I always emphasize looking into people’s eyes, so do it. Plus, address them all. Do focus on one person so you won’t appear all over the place, but give regular attention to the others to engage them. You’ll see that the person you address will become an anchor as you keep the others involved.

3. How To Approach: What To Say.

It can be any variety of things from “hello” to “I like ice cream!” What’s always worked best for me is clear, straightforward honesty:

“Hi. You guys look like fun, so I decided to come over and meet you!”
“Hey, I noticed you so I thought I’d talk to you.”

Don’t ask questions, they suck energy out of the interaction. Instead, stimulate the conversation with your own input. As with a single person, you can observe: “You laugh so much, you must be cool people.” Talk about the friends you’re there with, tell them why this is your favourite bar, or talk about that amazing one you discovered on vacation in Paris.

You see, if you have the single approach down, you can easily learn how to approach a group of girls. The most important realization for you is that numbers don’t make that much of a difference. You’re still there to enjoy yourself. Share that! Since you’re talking to a group, though, you want to make sure you keep them engaged on the same level as you would a single person – through eye contact and relating personally. Otherwise, you’ll end up losing them all. And again, here’s your most important advice: practice, practice, practice. Social dynamics are intricate, but you can find patterns and work with them.

Tags: how to approach a group of girls

How To Tell a Story That Captivates a Woman’s Attention

2009-06-19T16:54:25Z

Ever been to a party where one dude told amazing stories and entertained people all night? Great comedians do the same thing: Eddie Izzard, Robin Williams or Chris Rock can deliver awesome stories on the spot, often improvised, and in a captivating manner. They know how to tell a story and consequently they’re the life of the party! But how do they do it? There’s a secret language of great storytellers that many of us don’t recognize: it’s not so much that they have cool stories to tell – it’s how they tell them. Storytelling is an art, and there are means of making any story fascinating, funny, captivating and attractive.

The first step to any story is the opening. This is where you need to grab your listeners’ attention, so make sure it’s a damn good teaser. You do that by answering some of the most important questions right away: who, where, what, why, how? “Did I tell you about the time this fat guy attacked me and Alex in France?” Simple! Now, you’ve sparked attention. Let’s take it from here.

Secret #1: visualization.

The art of storytelling is as old as language itself and common to all humankind. There are some basics: every story has a plot and characters, and a point of view from which it is told. A great storyteller will get you absorbed in the plot. You’ll feel like you’re actually there, experiencing the events and interacting with the characters. Visualization is a key to that. You can visualize by describing scenes: there’s the French coastline your story is set in, the white houses of the Provence, the sandy beach. Then, there are sensations: the smell in the air, the feeling of the sun on the narrator’s skin and the sound of seagulls.

You can also visualize with vocals and body language: use gestures to draw objects or mimic movements, and use your voice to amplify an effect – when you describe the fat dude on his towel, lower your voice and make it broad while you draw his immense stature in the air with your hands.

Use human behaviour to make scenes come alive: we tend to attribute behavior to objects, like “the waves were coming closer to catch him.”

Secret #2: emotions.

A good narrative will have recognizable emotions and characters who act believably. That’s why even a story set in unlikely surroundings, say a space station, can work great as long as we can relate to the characters, their emotions, struggles and interactions. Describe what you or your characters are feeling, how it manifests in their body – is it a prickle in the stomach, a cold shiver running down the spine?, and how it affects and motivates them. “We approached him, and right away, I saw him clench his fists and I had a dull feeling in my stomach.” Facial expressions and posture say a lot about a person’s emotions, so depict them. Trigger empathy in your listeners, it will put them “in the person’s shoes”: psychologists call this “narrative transport”.

Secret #3: connection to the audience.

Whatever you do, you want to build a rapport with who you’re talking to. Involve them in what’s happening: “You know that feeling you get when…”, “It’s like you told me earlier…”, “Have you ever been to France?” Maintain eye contact, and I mean steady eye contact. You are sharing something here, so open up and establish a connection. Watch an Eddie Izzard show: he keeps interacting with his audience, even when his mind goes insanely astray. He also draws from common life experience: at the core of what he says, there’s something we instantly recognize from our own lives. Keep that coming! Appeal to human experience!

One last piece of advice, and this is purely linguistic: whenever you can, use the active instead of the passive form of narrative. Say “He attacked me” instead of “I was attacked by him.” The more action you have in your story, the more intriguing it is: we want to hear about people going out and doing things, not about stuff happening to them.

These are just a few elements of the secret language of great storytellers. Your rule of thumb is: be scenic from the very start. Draw pictures, make a setting come alive, describe smells, sounds, sights, feelings, conditions, faces. Then, convey emotions by describing how they manifest: shaky knees, clenched fists, goosebumps.

Finally, make sure that you keep the vibe going with whoever you’re talking to: dissolve the barriers between you and your audience by asking questions, referring to them or relating to their experience. We’re all drawn to tangible, true, authentic yarns. Now you can be the one telling them.

Tags: how to be a great storyteller, how to tell a story, language, storytelling, tell a story

Spice Up Your Looks In 5 Easy Steps

2009-06-19T16:33:17Z

It’s startling how many people believe they’re bad-looking or unattractive: I’ve known some really hot guys and girls who were deeply unhappy about features of their bodies or faces. There’s no reason for that! The fact is, whatever you tell yourself about your appearance will work either as a limiting or empowering belief, and that’s what will either block your or pave your way to success. No matter what your bodily or facial features are, you can always spice up your looks in just a few easy steps: invest some time and effort into your appearance, and you’ll not only gain a new kind of confidence, but also realize that those few extra pounds or your prominent nose are no obstacle at all when it comes to attracting women.

This article concerns some of the basics you need to have down if you want to attract women: while they ultimately respond to a person’s character, looks and appearance still play an important role – in fact, they can make or break your chances of getting to know a girl. Here are five steps you can take to appear at your very best:

1. Stay Clean and Smell Good.

This might sound ludicrous, but I know some people who really smell bad, and I know enough appalled girls that are disgusted by them. Obviously, sometimes you cannot help but have some bodily odour, e.g. when you’re doing sports. But in general everyday life, make sure you are clean, your hair is fresh and well-groomed, and you wear deodorant and some cologne (just one tiny dash). It’s basic, but it really goes a long way.

2. Get a Great Haircut.

See a couple of hairdressers and get some advice on which haircut would look good on you and suit your type. Short, middle, long, dyed, thorny, stylishly disheveled or combed back straight: these are just a few ways your hair could look. Be creative and find a style you like!

3. Get Sexy and Comfy Apparel.

You’ll need to save up some money for this one, but it’ll be worth it. I’m sure you have a couple of friends, ideally girls, with great taste and fashion sense: take them out on a shopping trip and look for the kind of attractive clothes you like most. Bear in mind that when you’re perfectly comfortable in your clothes, you will also appear sexier: so are you a sportive type? Elegant? A rocker? Find what suits you. General rules of thumb: no nerdy stuff, no stiff grey clothes, no clothes that are way too big or small.

You are young and dynamic – show it.

All this goes for shoes, glasses and even underwear: in German, ugly underwear is called “love killers” (”Liebestöter”), and there’s a reason. Last but not least, don’t be afraid to get something extraordinary if it suits your character: a hat or a long trench coat can be nice conversation starters – just be careful not to overdo it.

4. Find The Kind of Facial Hair That Suits You.

Yes! How would you look with a mustache, chin-beard, full beard, long sideburns, any combination thereof, or shaven plainly clean? You can get quite creative with a razor: some people even shave patterns into their facial hair, and it looks great.

5. Work Out, Regularly.

You don’t even need to do that much. Just getting up 10 minutes earlier in the morning will give you time to do two sets of push-ups before and after going to the bathroom. The great thing: within a ridiculously short amount of time, you’ll realize how your endurance grows, and your overall well-being and strength rise. I was amazed when I first started out. The early morning exercise will get your juices flowing and make you shiny and fresh for the day, and people will notice. Soon enough, your muscles will start to look more awesome as well.

So, you see: it’s quite possible and, in most cases, even cheap to spice up your looks in a few easy steps! Now here’s my word of caution: even the best looks won’t make up for a bad personality. The antagonist in “Pan’s Labyrinth” is a good-looking, well-groomed man, but he’s a remorseless, gruesome, murdering psychopath, and that’s certainly not attractive. What I’m saying is that great looks are far from sufficient for attracting women: still, they are a sine qua non – an absolute condition. While you work on improving your character and personality, make sure you establish the looks that go with it. And always remember: you’re only as ugly as you think you are.

Tags: Spice Up Your Looks In a Few Easy Steps

How To Talk To Any Girl In Any Situation

2009-06-19T15:49:08Z

Wouldn’t it be great if you knew how to talk to any girl in any situation? In a big city, you’ll see beautiful women every day – in the streets, on train platforms, in supermarkets, in cafés and restaurants. Most of us are really afraid to approach them: it might seem inappropriate, awkward, intrusive, she might be taken, a lesbian or a serial killer. We hesitate and hope for something to happen so we can easily talk to her – and then she leaves and we kick ourselves because in all likelihood, we just missed our one and only shot.

I’ll tell you what you can say to approach a girl. But before you even go there, you need to get the anxiety out of your system, and you achieve that by putting yourself out there and practicing. Here’s your first lesson for today: girls, no matter how beautiful, are people. So start the easy way, learn how to approach people! It’s so easy to have a nice chat with the dude behind you in line at the box office, or with the lady at the cash register.

Spark a great energy inside you.

In his work on Nonverbal Communication, psychology professor Albert Mehrabian found that only about 7% of the emotional meaning of a message is conveyed through words. 38% are “paralanguage”, i.e. the use of voice, and 55% are nonverbal communication, e.g. gesture, posture or facial expressions. Words have a ridiculously small impact on meaning! Instead, we communicate through our behaviour.

If you’ve ever taken acting classes, especially Improv, you will know that an emotion comes up for you if you spark the appropriate energy in your body first. Think of what you feel when you’re really happy to see, say, a great friend. The very instant you see the person, joy lights up in you and you cannot help but smile brightly, there’s a prickle in your stomach or a tickle running down the back of your neck. You can put yourself in that state: start laughing by yourself, smile, trigger these physical states. The emotion will follow soon enough, and with it, fun and bright ideas will come up. You might still be nervous about approaching, but in this light, it won’t be anxiety: it will be excitement (think about it, your body signals both in similar ways). You can use that energy! Just stay genuine: don’t paste a fat smile on your face for the heck of it. Let your face mirror your emotions.

Approach people.

Now you’re in the right state to approach a stranger. Of course, you still want to know “what to say first”, right? In dating lingo, we speak of “openers”, and I advocate the honest, genuine and authentic ones. They come from your heart, not pre-scripted from somebody else’s mind. I’ll give you two, and for these, remember what we discussed about energy:

1. Walk up to the person and say “Hi!” or “Hey!”. Simple as that. “My name is Brian.” Shake their hand. “What’s yours?” Now, what do you associate with the person’s name? Perhaps it has a meaning that you know (check out the etymology of common names), or they might have an exotic name. “That’s… No, let me guess: Iranian, right?” There’s your conversation. Now share something about yourself.

2. The observational opener: one of my favourites. A guy opened me up in a supermarket line because he saw a melon in my basket. You and I can do the same: notice something about the person, anything, and point it out. “Your jacket is beautiful, it shines in the sun and makes me think of summer.” What could this say about the person? “Hey, you must be a light-hearted person.”

There are many more kinds of openers, opinion openers for instance, backhanded compliments, David DeAngelo’s “Cocky and Funny” approach, “canned” openers, storytelling, or teasing: “I couldn’t help but notice you… staring at me.” What you need to do is practice, practice, practice. You’ll gain experience from the ways people react (many will be appreciative! They like the change of pace), and soon, you’ll find that approaching becomes easy. Your confidence will grow because you’re no longer treading unsafe territory, and you’ll have the tools to talk to any girl in any situation!

Tags: How To Talk To Any Girl In Any Situation

Make a Girl Fall in Love the Minute you Start Talking to Her

2009-06-11T17:41:53Z

Wouldn’t it be amazing if there was few words you could whisper to make a girl fall in love within seconds of you approaching her? “Your beauty reminds me of autumn leaves falling ….” Well forget it! No poetic (feel free to laugh at my failed poetic attempt), cheesy line or even smart line will ever make a woman fall in love.

As a matter of fact, why would you want to do that in the first place?!

Okay, okay. Yeah, I hear you. We’ve all been there, right? There’s this amazingly beautiful girl at work or school. You watch her in amazement every day: her movements are so graceful, her hair is full auburn, she has dark beady eyes and a smile that could brighten up the effing sun. This is love at first sight. She’s the one! You must not screw this up, like the last time you mustered up your courage and confessed your undying love to a girl out of the blue! How can you go over and make her fall in love the minute you start talking to her?

Well you can’t. And you shouldn’t. You should approach her with calm and confidence to check out if she has the character to back up her looks. Parable time: imagine you’re an ornithologist, and there’s this incredibly beautiful and exotic bird you’ve been watching in sheer amazement for weeks on end. Then one day, you get close to it: it’s a breathtaking moment. You’re all shaking and sweaty because it’s such a heavenly creature and BAM! It bites you right in the face and craps on your jacket. How’s that for a downer?

There’s one advantage that a woman has over a bird: with the bird, you can’t go over and chat it up. The woman, though, will appreciate if a dashing, fun, outgoing young gentleman shows a casual interest in her. So go over and make some easy conversation to check her out.

To do this, you will need to change your attitude, young Padawan. Your good old “love at first sight” is what I like to call “infatuation”. Beyond that might lie the bitter realization that your “angel” is actually the crappy-bitey type of woman, and that’s something you want to find out before her auburn hair is clogging up your drain and she’s hogging your goods and chattels.

Right before you approach her, take a long, deep breath to flush the anxiety out of your system, then turn around and observe something about her: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in your Ninja Turtles sweater in a while. What happened? Grow out of it?” Be tongue-in-cheek if you can (and if it comes naturally). There, you’ve started a conversation.

Many, many men will act extra-nice, appreciative and submissive when they interact with a very beautiful woman. For some reason, they seem to think that catering to her every need is going to make her like them. Get this: if there’s one need of hers that you should cater to, it’s the need of being treated like a regular person. What she says or does is not some form of eternal, paramount truth: call her on it! Show that you have your own standards, and while you’re interested in her, she still has to live up to what you want in a great person.

Another big steaming pile that guys will step into is “scripted conversations”. I’m sure you’ve prepared conversations hundreds of times in the past, planning all the best things to say, only to screw it up big time. Scripting’s a surefire way to get that outcome. So stop doing it! Once a conversation is on, all you – and the girl! – can do is be in the present. If your mind is busy focusing on some BS “I love you” stuff you made up beforehand, it’s certainly not invested in the situation at hand. Trust me, the girl can tell that you have some sort of agenda running in the background, and as you get nervous and detached, she will get bored and annoyed. Relinquish your “control”, just listen and react – it’s the same courtesy she’s giving you.

If you shift your perspective that way, you’ll automatically become more relaxed and present. This is a regular everyday interaction between two human beings. Your goal is no longer to make a girl fall in love the minute you start talking to her: it’s to get to know her because she looks interesting. There’s nothing left for you to lose now, but everything to gain. So what’s the worst that could happen? Ending up with all you had before? Well great! This is your new vantage point. Now go out and step forward from it.

Tags: make a girl fall in love

How NLP Coaching Enables You to Reach Your Goals

2009-06-10T03:39:46Z

There is unquestionably a large industry of professionals offering advice about how to live the life you have always dreamed of. The difference with NLP coaching is that it is a far more physical approach to achieving your highest potential. Today I would like to tell you not only how NLP coaching enables you to reach your goals but also how it is the most effective way to change the patterns in your life that have been holding you back.

The main difference between an NLP coach and an everyday life consultant is in the exercises they will take you through. NLP coaching takes a far more physical approach, using your body to change the way you feel and subsequently you are motivated. The basic philosophy is that we seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Through exercises and visualisation techniques our NLP coaches can reprogram the emotions you associate to specific behaviour. For example, if your goal is working out for an hour every day but you are struggling to keep this commitment then it is because you associate pain to the activity (going to the gym) and pleasure to not going (watching the telly instead). Your NLP coach will build associations that will reverse this pattern. You will begin to look forward to your time at the gym and resent sitting around wasting your life. The techniques range from very simple readjustments of the way you think about things, to hypnotic techniques that directly target your subconscious patterns.

NLP coaching is a really effective way of changing aspects of yourself that you have long been dissatisfied with. The simple truth is will power doesn’t work as a long term solution, purely because you are treating the symptoms and not the problem. As soon as your thought patterns have been refocused in the right direction then will power becomes unnecessary, you are making your mind work for you and the ease of the results will amaze you.

We are an NLP coaching company based in London provide a wide range of products and services. Our NLP coaches are the best around and will be happy to chat through what you dream of achieving on what time scale. So please get in touch now and make the first step to changing your life forever.

Tags: coach, coaching, nlp, reach your goals

How to Impress A Girl When You’re Not Rich and Famous

2009-06-05T02:58:09Z

Ever wonder why so many women adore Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp? No? Well go figure, that’s because it’s freaking obvious. They’re famous, sexy and rich. Chances are that you, on the other hand, are neither famous or rich, in fact, even your good looks haven’t gotten you anywhere lately. But what if I told you that you can learn how to impress a girl even if you aren’t that rich or famous? Well brace yourself, because I’m going to share with you one of the most powerful insights into the mechanisms of attraction you’re going to learn.

Before I do that, though, let’s take a closer look at our “obvious” observation: the fact is, I’ve seen rich guys try to impress girls with their possessions and fail horribly – they either come off as posers or become “best friends”. Fame and money are fleeting, and you know it. While they last, they’re (at best) indicators for the character traits women seek in men. And you can fare wonderfully with the attributes nobody will ever take from you: find your personal value and play your cards right with it.

Now here’s the killer: men are are attracted physically, women are attracted emotionally. Spelled out, this mans that while us men are attracted to looks first, women often go for emotional impressions. Bear in mind that I’m generalizing here and of course, both looks and personality count for both sexes, so don’t become a dirty slob in torn clothes now. But do realize that your qualification standards are not necessarily the same as a woman’s.

Rich men tend to be successful. Successful men are usually strong, competent, determined and reliable. Men with those traits are attractive: they have a direction in life and create the means to get there. How about you? Do you have something you’re passionate about? Everybody does, you know. Go get it! Be enthusiastic about it. Ask any woman if she’s attracted if a man has that sparkle in his eye while talking about something he loves, and she’ll confirm. Don’t become preachy though: and you’re not there to convert her.

Chances are you’ve achieved quite a few things in life. Search yourself and make a list of your accomplishments (exclude your gaming high scores from it). Feels good, huh? You’re not so bad! Now you can use that confidence: when you’re with a girl, drop these things into the conversation. Slowly reveal bits and pieces about you – and don’t make a huge fuss about it. “Yeah, it’s a bit like that time I ran my own photo exhibition at the Main Center.” Hey, if you can mention that just in passing, what else do you have up your sleeve? She’ll be impressed.

Note, though, that you want to play your cards right. Rubbing your awesomeness in her face in the first 15 minutes isn’t being impressive, it’s trying to impress. Doesn’t work. I saw two guys at an amateur filmmaker party: one was all too eager to show off his DSLR and commonplace technical knowledge. The other had a confident calm about him, he knew perfectly well what he could do. He would occasionally reveal bits about himself and the rest of the time, he’d show genuine interest in the people around him. He ended up with two girls in his arms, the other went home empty-handed way before the party was over.

You should also be an attentive listener. Turn off your mind and be in the present (e.g. focus on your breathing and be perfectly aware of your body): “empty” yourself and you can take in what she says entirely. If she tells you about her hobbies, ask yourself: why does she do it? Share the hobby or not, the underlying emotions are common to all humans, and you want to communicate with her on that level. Let’s say she likes white-water rafting: it’s about the adrenaline rush and the up-close contact with raw nature. Is she a reader? Then she might enjoy the peace that comes when she sits down with a book and a glass of wine.

These are just some “tools” on how to impress a girl even if you aren’t that rich. Ultimately, you have to realize that “being rich” is just not what it’s cracked up to be. With everything you do, you need to be genuine and authentic: know your qualities and display them with care.

Tags: how to impress girls

How To Use Body Language to Captivate a Woman Attention

2009-06-01T22:07:38Z

I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m a guy who’s good with words: I have a great vocabulary and can put my thoughts into expertly-crafted sentences. Yet here’s the problem I used to have in the past: Even when I was in a great conversation with a girl, I wasn’t able to keep her interest.

What allowed me to overcome my sticking point is finding out that the trick to attraction is to add some great body language to the mix to captivate a woman. Because body language accounts for nearly 80% of our communication, words are pointless without it. If you don’t deliver great body language in addition to good conversation, you’re not going to attract anyone.

Try this: Next time you have some time on your hands, take one of your favourite movies and watch it with the sound turned off. Now look at the actors and examine what they do to portray their characters and make them unique.

Notice their movements, facial expressions, gestures or posture. Now, if you want to sharpen your own appearance, you’ll need to work on those very same attributes.

You can start with the following steps:

Slow Down: A general rule you should keep in mind. Move slowly, speak slowly, make pauses when you speak! Rushed people will seem aimless and insecure.

Facial Expressions: If you’re interested or curious about a woman, tilt your head while she’s talking to you. Maintain steady eye contact, and focus on her – look INTO her eyes, not just AT them. At a later point in the conversation, you may look into her eyes, then at her lips, neck and then move back. It will introduce some good tension. Also, there are facial expressions you can learn: me, for instance, I tought myself how to raise my right eyebrow when I was a teenager. Every morning I’d stand in front of the mirror until I had it down.

Smiles: be careful and conscious with them. If you smile at everything a woman does and says, you’ll come across as a needy little lapdog trying to please her. Confident and attractive men don’t smile a lot, even (and especially) when they’re being funny: delivery is the most important part of every joke, and being deadpan while saying something outrageous or crazy is pure gold. Also, if you’re sparing with smiles, it will be worth so much more when you do display one.

Gestures: Make your gestures clear and well-defined. Waving your arms about like feather-dusters will only make her duck, possibly also run. Instead, use gestures to visualize what you’re saying, and make them outwards – hand movements coming from your heart and going towards the person you’re talking to. You want to establish a personal connection? This is crucial.

Posture: Sit back and relax. Open up your body. Otherwise, if your arms and legs are crossed, you’re building a wall between you and the woman, signalling that you’re insecure – you have something to hide or protect. So take up some space! Spread your legs apart, have ond hand casually dangling over your knee when you’re sitting. Ever notice how somebody looks more attractive on a photo when they’re angled towards the camera instead of facing it full-frontal? Use that effect to your advantage. A bit of tilting and angling can go a long way – just NEVER lean in. If you have trouble hearing what she says, motion her to come closer to you or move your ear closer to her mouth so she can talk into it, but don’t lean forward and into her personal space.

Walk: When you walk, be smooth and not too fast. A fast pace may get you places and can come in handy if needed, but it will also make you appear hurried and stressed. You wanna be relaxed and cool, so take some time. Walk upright, tighten your belly and straighten your back, keep your head up high and be present and aware of your surroundings. Watch how Al Pacino walks in “Carlito’s Way” (which is a bloody awesome movie in its own right).

Breathe. Do it deeply and consciously. Take in the air around you, you’ll feel how it vitalizes you as it goes through your body. This is life right there for ya. It will sharpen your senses and energize you. Finally, your body language should show that you’re perfectly comfortable inside your skin. You’re happy because you’re an attractive guy. Display that attitude, and you’ll know how to use your body language to captivate a woman attention.

Tags: create attraction, how to use body language

Two Mistakes That Prevent Men From Ever Finding Their “Dream Girl”

2009-05-28T01:57:46Z

Usually my older students, the ones that have been practicing seduction for one or two years and have reasonable success with women, tend to ask me: “Why don’t I have the girl of my dreams in my life yet? It seems as if all the girls in my life have flaws that just make them impossible to date.” Well today, I’ll share with you a little insight about getting the woman of your dreams: If you’re just trying to meet women at random, you’re not going to find the one you’re truly looking for (Well, you might if you’re lucky, but why not just do it the easier way?)

In order to to succeed, you need to take two steps back first. You need to know exactly what kind of woman you want, and before that, you need to know yourself. Without this groundwork, you’ll have a hard time even creating attraction, and once you get a girl, chances are you won’t be happy with her.

Most men will say they know what kind of woman they want, but if you inquire, you’re likely to get a rather vague response: “Well… I want her to be sexy, intelligent and funny.” Right. So why is it that of all the women who share these traits, only a few will be really good matches? What you need is a solid concept about what you want. Here’s where you start:

1. Know Yourself

What makes you UNIQUE? You need to explore yourself, you want to go way beyond your hobbies or everyday life. I know it’s the oldest psycho-trick in the book, but go back to your youth and childhood. Think about what made you tick, who provided the soundtrack to your life, what you loved to play with, which books your mom read to you and what they meant, what the defining moments in your life were. That stuff stays with us! Then, think about peculiarities you have: I, for instance, can wiggle my left nostril – it’s true. Also, look into your future. Where do you want to take your dreams, ambitions, passions? Do that soul-searching for a few days, I promise you’ll come up with amazing things. To help, here’s a list of 81 questions geared towards figuring out who you are.

Write down what you discover about yourself. It will make for some great conversation later on.

2. Know What Kind of Woman You Want

This is where you work out the specifics. Many women are sexy, intelligent and funny, but that doesn’t necessarily make them appealing to you: so think about what kind of woman you find most attractive.

How does she dress?
Is she elegant, sportive, artsy, a rocker chick, a goth, a party girl?
Which ones of your passions does she share?
What can she teach you?
What’s her eye colour? (me, I’m a sucker for dark eyes)
Does she fall asleep with her favourite cuddly toy in her arms?
Is she strong and independent?
Does she smoke?
Drink?
Does he have piercings, tattoos?
What do they mean to her?
What’s her sexuality?
What’s her body type?
What kinds of places does she go to?
Does she laugh a lot?
Crack jokes?
Or is she shy?
Is she conservative, does she like to play things safe?
Or is she adventurous?
Sports or video games?
Beach or mountain?
Vanilla or chocolate?

You get the idea, write down everything you can imagine about your ideal woman.

3. Go and Find Her

Now we’re back where we “started”.

More often than not, a guy will blame himself if a conversation with a beautiful woman goes downhill. While there certainly are ways of avoiding that (read our article “How To Talk to Girls” to learn more), consider that if you don’t get an exciting conversation going with a girl, perhaps it’s just not meant to be. There’s nothing wrong with either of you then. Now that you know who you are and where you’re going, you can be goal-oriented: approach a girl whose appearance and demeanour appeals to you, share something you’re enthusiastic about, see if she picks up on it. Don’t be afraid to test her! If nothing else, she’ll realize you have your act together and know what you want. She’ll sense that you’re not just another guy that aimlessly approaches beauties. That’s a good position to be in!

A final word of caution: when you go get the women you want, make sure you don’t start chasing dreams. You might know now what your perfect woman will be like, but you’re going to run into real-life human beings that aren’t perfect. Approach a girl with your destination in mind, but don’t measure her against your “perfect one”. If you start comparing her to your perfect vision, you’ll end up empty-handed. Just make sure to have a good balance between knowing what you want and accepting her differences. So remember to do the exercises because, once you know exactly who you are and who you’re looking for, you’ll end up finding her.

Tags: dream girl, how to get a woman

How To Make Beautiful Women Fall For You: 4 Steps You Must Follow

2009-05-23T20:00:14Z

When it comes to attraction, us guys are very physical. We go straight for looks, so most of us automatically react in the following fashion when we see an exceptionally beautiful woman: “She’s so ravishing. I’ve got to have her!”

Tell you what: bad move.

There are ways of making beautiful women fall for you, but they all involve letting go of this mindset. Just because a woman is beautiful doesn’t mean she’s intelligent, funny, charismatic, ambitious – in short: truly attractive. So here’s your lesson for today: get her off the pedestal and treat her as a human being.

Why is it that so many guys turn into nervously fidgeting, asexual jellyfish when it comes to approaching hotties and keeping them engaged?

It’s as if beauty lifted women above the spheres of mere humanity and turned them into some kind of fairy tale princesses that can only be touched with satin gloves. I’ll tell you a secret: they’re still regular human beings made of flesh and blood. It’s true though that being beautiful will change a woman’s perception of the world and, thus, her personality: from her teenage years, she’ll get used to men bending to her every wish, and she’ll learn to use her beauty to her advantage whenever she pleases.

She’ll also get bored out of her mind. In fact, the nice, friendly wusses will eventually annoy the heck out of her, especially when they try to hide that they like her looks. Soon enough, she’ll long for a real male, a big bad ballsy hunk of man-flesh to treat her with some real masculinity. One who’ll give her a poignant teaser conversation and then say “You’re sexy and I like your sense of humour, we should go out. I have time on Monday” instead of talking to her forever and then choking on “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but would you mind awfully if I bought you dinner some time?”

This is where you should come in.

If you want to take things anywhere with a beautiful woman, get your head out of your butt right now and act like the alpha male you’re supposed to be. Here’s a couple of tools for that:

1. Realize that there is variety. She isn’t the only beautiful woman around, and you are aware that there are other options. If you shift your mindset from “oh dear, I hope she’ll like me” to “let’s see if she has enough to offer so I’ll like her”, the woman will realize that you’re not an easy catch.

2. Show her that you’re not going to give in to her games and bitching. You have your own life and perspective, you’re in control of that and you’re gonna take things in your direction. Show her that you know what you want and you’re going to get it. If she doesn’t want to go along, it’s her loss.

3. Be funny, but don’t seek to amuse her. Amuse yourself! Before you go meet a girl, get yourself into a fun mood, e.g. watch one of your favourite comedies (40 Year Old Virgin is awesome). When you interact with her, always laugh inside. Think of funny ways to interpret what’s happening, or funny things to say: “Hey, you have something in your face.” – “Oh, really?” (wait for her to fidget around in her face) “Yeah. It’s your nose.”

4. Tease her. Be just a little too sure about yourself, just a tad arrogant! “We shouldn’t become lovers. I don’t think you could take me.” But always keep it on a playful note or else you’ll tick her off. For instance, stop in front of a mirror, call her over and say: “Hey, did you see the awesome pictures they have here?” If you show her that you know you’re attractive (and you are, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise), she’ll pick up on it. She’ll be attracted.

These are just some examples. Lastly, note that I’m not advertising treating a woman badly here. You still have to respect her as the beautiful being she is, respect her ideas, wishes and desires, and make her feel good about herself. You want her to be comfortable around you. Be positive, affirmative and funny, but show that you have direction and purpose, and that you’re not going to hand her your balls on a silver platter. Once you have your confidence together, making beautiful women fall for you will be a much easier accomplishment.

Tags: making beautiful women fall for you