Art Flutter

Broken Wear

Alex — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 16:29:09 +0000

fire breath, number 1

High Five

Alex — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:14:25 +0000

Very nice!

Using WP_Query to create custom queries

Alex — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:42:47 +0000

while reading my usual RSS feeds I stumbled upon this article on displaying your latest post.

It took me eye as I have been busy implementing similar things for my upcoming website, except I have been using WordPress’ WP_Query function to achieve the same results.

Basically WP_Query is used to create a seperate mini-loop outside of your main loop. It has many advantages over using a custom SQL query like

You don’t need to know proper SQL syntax
It’s a core WordPress function, so if the database structure changes it will still work
is more concise and uses less code
highly customisable in that you can easy modify the post parameters (specify category, author, sort order, etc.)

The below is just a simple demo the grabs a link to the latest post. It shows how easy WP_Query really is to use.


< ?php

$my_query = new WP_Query('showposts=1');
while ($my_query->have_posts()) : $my_query->the_post();
echo '' . the_title('','',FALSE) . '';
endwhile;

?>

Almost Transformers

Alex — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:54:29 +0000

Whitegoods in disguise

French Kangaroo

Alex — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:40:57 +0000

The Apocalypse has cometh

Alex — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:00:54 +0000

The internet has gone down, basically the same thing.

Costa Rican SWAT Team

Alex — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:51:17 +0000

Number one in the world.

A Flat Stomach Joke

Alex — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:19:09 +0000

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, ‘What were you and Dad doing?’
The mother replies, ‘Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.’

‘Your wasting your time,’ said the boy.
‘Why is that?’ the mom asked puzzled.

‘Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.’

The Tiffany Bracelet Joke

Alex — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:15:38 +0000

A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of

a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism,

the salesman greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam.

How may we help you today?’

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman

may just not have been there at the time of her little

‘accident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’

He answers, ‘Madam, if you farted just looking at it,

you’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.’

A Blonde Nurse Visits a Bank Joke

Alex — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:12:42 +0000

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check, She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse And tries to write with it.
When she realises her mistake, She looks at the flabbergasted teller, And without missing a beat, she says

“Well, that’s great….that’s just great….

Some asshole’s got my pen!”