Straight From The Heart

Life...

2010-02-06T01:17:00.000+05:30

Spend your life, burn like a candle -

Only to light up the dark.

Cry, shed the tears of pain -

Only to feel lightened enough to smile.

Remember the past -

Only to learn from your mistakes.

Shed the part that makes you miserable

For life is meant to be lived forward.

Few things cannot be changed in life;

Learn to move ahead with whatever happened ...

If at all you want to do something about it;

Promise yourself that it would be the last miserable moment.

Be optimistic and thankful for the life you have

Because God thought that you are worth it...

Make Him proud.

Life gives us a chance to choose what we want -

If we fail to choose, it gives us what it thinks is right.

Make your choice -

Live the life of your dreams

Because you are responsible for what you are

And what you can be...

Moments...

2010-01-22T01:00:00.004+05:30

I love those moments
When I can sit silently, talking to myself
When every other sound is obliterated
When I am no one's daughter,
no one's sister or friend
I love those moments
When I can be myself.

I love those moments
When I can take a peek inside me
See what I have done in the past
Figure out lessons from my mistakes
I would love to sit and plan
Or even daydream
About the future, that is far fetched
But not impossible.

I love those moments
When no one would bother me
When I would not have to talk to anyone
When I do not have to listen to anyone
The moments when I can sit silently and contemplate
I wish, I could find those moments
Which are lost somewhere,
Amidst the complexities of living.

Forever...

2010-01-15T00:49:00.002+05:30

There were so many things I did not know about you
But still, when you held me in your arms,
I knew, I have known you forever

There were many things you did that made me feel so angry
But still, at the end of the day when you kissed me good night
I knew I could go on like this forever.

There were so many things you failed to do,
Times when you failed to care
But still,
When you gave me a peck on my cheek when I was depressed
I knew you were the man I could trust forever.

There were so many times you made me cry
But still, whenever I look back in time and peek into the memories
I know you would do anything to keep me happy forever.

There were times when we fought,
Times when we wanted to end it all
But, today as we sit next to one another on this bench
I know, living my life with you was my dream that has come true

And I know, tomorrow we might not be there for one another
A time might come when either you or I would leave the other
But, in the end, I know and you know it too...
We would love each other, forever.

Late Night Drive…

2010-01-04T01:11:00.002+05:30

Nature has always had a soothing effect on my mind. I still remember the day I had spent time with dad amidst nature at Matheran. Read “Silent Moments with Dad” for details.

Recently, I had yet another opportunity to spend time with Nature. I would have never believed that Mumbai can fulfil the desire of mine to spend silent moments with nature; had it not been for my cousin brother who took me on a drive on the 27th (28th) of December. Yes, there were times when I did spend time sitting alone at Band – stand yet I was never at peace. It could never be the way I wanted it to be. Perhaps, night – time was what was missing! My most happy (read peaceful) moments are when I am awake at night while everyone is asleep. I love spending time at my window. Watch the leaves swaying gently with the soft breeze. Sometimes, I get lucky to get a clear view of the moon. It’s something I cannot describe in words. This beauty often inspires me to write.

Anyways – Talking about the drive …

It was not pre-planned. We were sitting on the couch talking to each other and all of a sudden he just asked me whether I would like to go for a drive. I have never left my house so late before this. I thought for a while and I heard myself telling me that I needed this drive. Yes, it was as if God had just granted me my wish. I put on my jeans and we left my house at 12:50 am. We had not made up our mind where to go. He started the car and I just gave him directions to reach Band – Stand. Let me remind you, it is my favourite spot in Mumbai. And, we reached Band – Stand in ten minutes!

The sea was silent but looked beautiful in the moonlight! I wish I had my camera with me. Still, the photographs would have not done justice to the real beauty of the sea I saw with my own eyes. There were a few people around, even a photographer who was trying to freeze the beauty in a picture. He did seem like a professional. If he did capture the beauty, I would love to buy the photograph, whatever it costs! My cousin and I walked for a while before finding a comfortable place to sit and talk. We were talking, I was paying attention to what he was saying but for a moment, I lost him. I lost myself. The sea simply mesmerized me. The silent sea in a way relaxed and silenced my tired and disturbed mind and the moonlight brightened up my soul. We already had spent one hour at the sea and I would have loved to stay there for some more time but a police constable came and asked everyone to leave. We got into the car and what happened next did ruin the night for a while. As we got into the car and my brother was about to start the ignition, the constable flashed his torch on the window to take a peek inside. Me being short tempered was tempted to roll down the glass and shout at him that we were brother and sister; however, I did nothing of that sort. Perhaps it was the night that calmed me down and after a moment I was laughing about it. My brother and I had to admit that he was just doing his job, thanks to what does actually happen around at such places at such late hours.

After we moved out from Band - Stand we drove to Joggers park and some distance further to stop for a cup of coffee. Cafe coffee day let us down. The shutters were not down and a few guys were sitting inside so we stepped in, only to realize later that it was just the staff, talking. We settled for coffee from the guy carrying the mobile cafe on his bicycle *lol* and believe me, it was worth the money we paid him. In short – Who needs cafe coffee day on such a beautiful night!

We continued our drive for some more time, going to Prabhadevi; Siddhivinayak Temple. The temple was closed but I am sure God did hear our hello! I did not want to return home but …

We were back home at 3 am. We entered the house, carefully opening the door with the key and I tiptoed to my room, changed clothes and slept. Well, not exactly. I was awake for a while, smiling with closed eyes, trying to re-live the beautiful moments, re-visit the beauty of the sea (and the night) captured with the camera of my mind. Yes, it did turn out good. Not as beautiful as the live experience, nevertheless, an image, which would make me smile for days to come.

And, even now as I compose this post, I can vividly see the moon romancing the sea.

If You Can...

2009-12-29T01:08:00.001+05:30

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you wake up each day
And promise yourself that all would be fine?
Would you walk to a place you do not wish to go
And tell yourself, you would still do it -
For that is what made me happy?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you smile the entire day
Hide all your worries and fears
For all I want to see when I return home
Is a face glowing with happiness?
Would you massage my shoulders
Ask me how was my day
Would you care to listen -
Even if you had something important to do?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you strive all day long
To hear one word of appreciation
Would you give in your everything
To save the relationship that is important only for you?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you!
When you have the answer,
Just look outside, I am waiting for you on the porch
Either come and hand me my bag
Or take me in your arms

A letter from a frustrated wife to her husband
A last attempt to save the relationship, A hope that he would understand

Sandhya - 2

2009-12-18T13:54:00.000+05:30

Sandhya - Part One

She removed her make-up changed into her favorite jeans and tee-shirt and walked out of her room. She got into her car and without waiting for the chauffeur she drove to her shrink.
He was waiting for her. The moment she walked past the door, he closed the door behind her; she turned around, went into his arms and started crying. He held her close and allowed her to cry. She was crying after so many months. Perhaps it was because of the hormonal changes taking place in her. He understood her need to cry and she knew he cared. He was more than her shrink; he was like a fatherly figure for her, someone she could confide in, someone from whom she could take advice. There were still many things she had to tell him, so many things he had to know to understand why she needed his counseling, to realize how fucked up her life was. She stopped crying and moved back. He handed her a handkerchief and as she wiped her tears he sat on his chair. The session was about to start. She stretched out on the patient’s chair and before he could do what normally his next step was, she asked him whether they could talk off the record. He agreed.

Sandhya started telling him her story. She had already told him about her life in her home-town, how she had left her loved ones to come to Mumbai, how she had struggled to become a model. Then she had told him about the man she was madly in love with. She had told him about Sanjeev. Today, she was going to tell him more about Sanjeev. She told him how one day Sanjeev proposed marriage to her and she accepted. They were married within a month and they went to Mauritius for their honeymoon. Those were the most wonderful days of her life, the days when she felt like a complete woman.
The doctor was listening; he knew “off the record” meant more than sharing of happy days.
Then, she came to the part when everything had changed. Her life had turned upside-down, a few weeks ago. She told him about the night it had all begun, the night Sanjeev had brought a girl in their house. The girl was an aspiring model and Sanjeev had brought her home to tell her the “tricks” of becoming a famous model. The girl was both surprised and glad to see Sandhya in the house. It was then; Sanjeev had asked her to make him a drink. Sandhya was about to react but the look in Sanjeev’s eyes scared her. Before she could turn around to go to the bar, she saw Sanjeev place his lips on the lips of the girl. She heard girl’s stifled reactions and then Sanjeev trying to calm her down. She walked back to the living room wanting to help the girl out of the house but she was shocked to see both of them on the couch, passionately kissing each other. Sandhya stood there, too shocked to move. The girl saw her and signaled to Sanjeev who got up from the couch and holding the girl by her waist walked towards the bedroom.
Sandhya spent the night listening to the instructions Sanjeev gave to the girl, the same instructions he had given her before making love to her and then she heard the sounds of their love making and then she could not sleep as the sounds echoed in her ears.
The next morning the girl walked out of the house without turning to look at Sandhya. Sanjeev went to his work and Sandhya was left with no option but to get ready for her shoot.

Sandhya was silent for a moment. The doctor offered her water, which she gulped down with difficulty, feeling choked, trying to hold back her tears. She then told the doctor that she was pregnant and she was not sure anymore what she wanted to do with her life or the life inside her. She told him about the letter Sanjeev had sent her, asking her to sign the contract earlier in the day, how that contract was going to help them both. She told him how Sanjeev had ended the letter saying that he loved her a lot. And, she started crying. Outside, it started raining. The further discussion was lost in the thundering and the sound of rain as it beat against the window glass. Sandhya had walked to the window. She loved rains. She looked at her own reflection on the window glass covered with rain drops and she was the real Sandhya looking back at her.

That night Sandhya waited for Sanjeev. She knew he would bring another model to give her tips for becoming a famous model. The doorbell rang and as she had expected it was Sanjeev at the door and he had brought a model with him. This one was different than the first one. She was already leaning on Sanjeev and he was holding her by her waist. They both walked towards the couch and almost immediately started kissing each other. Sandhya walked to the bar and readied a drink for Sanjeev. He smiled as she handed the drink to him. He gulped down the drink and stood up to go to the bedroom. The girl followed him. As the door closed, Sandhya closed her eyes and her lips curved into a smile. She could hear the sounds of laughter coming from her bedroom. Sanjeev moved over the girl, kissing her, exploring her body failing to notice the red light of the camera recording his movements.

******************

Sandhya

2009-12-17T11:21:00.004+05:30

Sandhya entered her room, totally exhausted. Throwing herself on the bed was the only thing she wanted to do that very moment however, there were a couple of things she had to do before she could retire for the day. She had a meeting with a client and then she had to visit her shrink.

She removed the jazzy dress she was wearing and put on her regulars and then she removed the make – up she was wearing. Only after that she looked at herself in the mirror. She loved being this Sandhya. Her own self, when she could be just what she wanted to be. Sandhya, the one who had come from a small town to achieve her dreams. And, now, after becoming what she had wanted to become, all of a sudden, she did not like it. All this had started to annoy her. Putting up a fake smile was something she could never do earlier and now every smile of hers was Fake! She did not remember the last time she had smiled from within, smiled the real smile, which was loved by the people who had meant the world to her, people she had left behind.

She had come to Mumbai to become a model. And, that she had managed to become. She was now a well-known, well-paid model in the advertisement industry. She had even been offered leading roles in a few movies, which she had turned down. This had upset Sanjeev for a moment but then he told her that he understood. Sanjeev, the man in her life, the man who had encouraged her to dare to dream! The man who had told her she had the potential to become more than what she had settled to become. The man who had taught her to fall in love again! The first man she had fell in love with was the man from her home town. That man supposedly loved her too, but had chosen to marry some other girl. Sandhya’s decision to leave the town coincided with his marriage date; hence it was obvious that many people connected both the happenings to one another, which was not true. Sandhya knew that the man was not worth crying over. Sandhya was a fighter and the same fighter approach kept her sane in this sort of insane world where nothing was the way it seemed to be, no one was like they pretended to be, including her.

Now, good or bad … “this” was her life and she was meant to live it.

When had she become like this? She did not know. Time and experience had molded her into a completely different person, the one who did not resemble the real Sandhya from any angle.
After coming to Mumbai, Sandhya had jumped straight into the fake world. Smiling, posing for the camera, wearing dresses she would’ve never worn otherwise. Allowing her co-models to touch her, to hold her as if holding some object of pleasure. During one of the shoots, a male model had intentionally moved his hand over her breast while placing his hand over her shoulder to pose for the camera. She wanted to slap him but she could not. She was being paid for this advertisement by none other than his father.
She had then retreated in her room and cried. What was happening to her? What was she turning into? Was this what people called as growing up and adapting to the surroundings? She had asked herself these questions that day. She got no answers. She stopped asking questions.
She was at least glad that she could let out her emotions whenever she wanted to. She could cry in Sanjeev’s arms who understood what she was going through. He supported her. He loved her, yes, he did … she knew it because he told her that every night as they made love and all her frustrations of the day vanished.

Then, things changed. The tears refused to flow. She was turning into someone without emotions. That is when she had started visiting a Shrink. He was a nice person; he listened to all that she had to say.

Sudden knocking on the door brought her out of her thoughts. She opened the door of her room to find the spot boy with an envelope for her. She took it from him, closed the door behind her and opened the envelope. It was what she had expected. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked at the clock; she did not have much time. She walked to the wash room, removed her clothes and stood under the shower allowing the warm water to relieve the stress in her shoulders. She dried herself and wrapping a towel around her she walked out of the bathroom. She wore yet another jazzy dress; this one showed her cleavage more than the previous one. The side cut in the gown made sure her thighs could breathe fresh air. She put on the make-up again.

She sat on one of the chairs and dialed an intercom number. Almost immediately the door was opened and a middle aged man walked into her room and the first thing he noticed was the slit showing her fair bare thigh. He looked at her and said hello to her breasts. He sat next to her, still eyeing her thigh as Sandhya extended her hand to greet him. He shook hands with her holding her hand in the grip for more time than needed. He then opened his briefcase and took out some papers. She took the papers from him and the moment her face was behind the papers, the man placed his hand on her thigh. She looked at him; he looked into her eyes and smiled. He told her how much he admired her work and he was really honored that she had agreed to sign a bond with his advertising firm. Sandhya handed over the papers to him and stood up. The man looked at her, shook his head, kept the papers back in his briefcase and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Sandhya collapsed on the chair and closed her eyes for some time. What had she just done? It was going to have a wrong impact on her career. But she was feeling happy; perhaps it meant that she had done the right thing.

She knew this would perhaps upset Sanjeev, because as per what he had told her, it was a one time opportunity. She would be earning millions after she signed this project. However, she did not care now. And, “that” made her feel happy.

Part Two

Wedding

2009-12-14T13:12:00.001+05:30

Chetan, my darling brother got married on 3rd December, 2009.
Yes, this was the reason for being away from the blog for past few weeks.

My Handsome Bro - Chetan

My Lovely Bhabhi - Mayura

Chetan and Mayura Honrao, God Bless The Couple

Long Time

2009-12-10T00:28:00.001+05:30

It has been a long time
... many years, actually
since we first met and became friends,
we have been through a lot together ...
But, it is not the time to be tired,
We still have a long way to go!

It has been a long time
since we shared our dreams,
since we had a heart-to-heart talk
But, it is not the time to sulk
One day we will just catch up on old times!

It has been a long time,
yes, long enough
to look back and say
"Those were the days"
But do not lose faith in our friendship
We can still bring those days back!

It has been a long time,
Since I told you how much you mean to me
Since the day I told you that I care
But I know in my heart,
You still trust me like you once did

... and that is what matters

So, even if it has been a long time
Even if I do not get a chance to say I care
Even if you do not get the time to call
We still know that we are there for one another
That is what friendship is all about.

Dedicated to my best friend Anita

Alphabets And Words...

2009-11-23T21:46:00.004+05:30

Alphabet by alphabet
And word by word,
Feelings join in to form sentences.
Sentences, which are incomplete …
Without a drop of tear.

Loneliness join the alphabets in words
And, the words are held together by fear.
Fear of losing something …
Something, which I could never have.

This is so strange, the words wonder –
As they look at each another with confusion
Something is definitely wrong!
Perhaps wrong alphabets joined –
To form wrong words…
How can someone fear losing something –
One could never have?

The hand stops writing,
The pen wonders, “What next?”
The alphabets feel lost,
The words are tired,
The sentences go to bed
And, feelings keep me awake.

Revelation

2009-11-19T12:16:00.002+05:30

It is just a matter of time
You will then know
Life is more than
What we think we know

It reveals its secrets
As each day passes by
It has answers for all our questions
Including the "why"

We just need to understand
Decipher each hint that it throws
Take the journey, trust in yourself
As road expands, the revelation grows

Autumn Wind

2009-11-16T15:32:00.003+05:30

He was like an autumn wind
that came in my life
brushed against my skin
patted my hair
and then...
slipped past
to play with another

Give Me Strength…

2009-11-14T16:30:00.001+05:30

I wrote this poem at 4:30 early morning today. I had just slid into the bed to sleep and these words just came to me and I had to get up, open my writing pad and pen down the poem. I just went on writing not even knowing where to start a new paragraph. I hope you all like the poem. It is Straight from my heart.

Give me strength O Lord,
To fulfil each dream -
Of those little expectant eyes ...
That look at me.
The eyes, I wish never fill with tears.
I would strive hard to see to that.
Every effort would be made -
To make that little face smile.
The face, which makes me smile each morning...
As I look at her -
Sleeping peacefully in my embrace,
her tiny hand resting on my waist.
The one, who gives me a feeling of completeness,
gives a meaning to my life -
For all that is and all that can be.

Give me strength O Lord,
To be a mother to her, who knows me as one.
She might have belonged to someone else,
Conceived in another womb -
From someone else's seed.
But, she is mine to hold now,
Mine to care and love.
Because, every morning and every night -
I see myself in her eyes...
The sparkling gems that make me -
The richest woman in the world!
Yes, she is mine to hold,
To care and love.

So, give me strength O Lord,
To hold her and, love her as my own -
With much confidence, pride and faith -
That I can be good mother to her and
She would someday proudly say -
"I am hers - to hold, care and love ...
And, she is mine!"

What Is Worse?

2009-11-14T02:54:00.000+05:30

I have always wondered
But have never figured
What is worse?
Aborting a female fetus
Or giving birth to a girl
And telling her
That she was never wanted?

I have always wondered
But have never figured
What is worse?
To put an end to her existence
Once and for all
Or carry on and give life to her
And then hammering on her mind
That her existence means nothing at all?

I have always wondered
But have never figured
What is worse?
To let her rest in peace
Before she is born
Or to slice her heart in pieces later
And leave her mind
Being haunted
By hurt and depression
Leaving permanent mark of parents confession
Ill-treating her
For the rest of her life
Poking her
With words sharper than knife?

I have always wondered...

Poem dedicated to all the girls facing abuse.

The Hidden Journal

2009-11-12T02:25:00.003+05:30

Of all that I speak

and all that I do not -

I keep a record in the hidden journal

Few words smudged with tears

Feelings splattered all over.

The hidden journal -

It sits in a corner where no one can find -

A place so well-hidden;

deep down inside me.

A part of me, which always is scared...

Scared to reveal itself to the world -

Vulnerable it would be,

The hidden journal, stark naked -

Open to the cruel world.

Let me keep it safe, deep inside

The Hidden Journal -

Of all that I speak

and all that I do not ...

Let the emotions be unleashed -

written in ink only I can read.

Words exchanged between us;

The hidden journal and the smiling me.

Dreams

2009-11-08T20:06:00.001+05:30

She loved him with all her heart. She gave him all that she could. She cared for him, hugged him when he needed a friend, gave him a peck on the cheek when he was depressed. She helped him with his work, gave him ideas for his new projects, cooked for him when he was hungry. She stayed awake when he could not sleep and he left her when she needed him.
He left her forever and left his ten year old daughter for her to take care of. Daughter someone else had borne. Did she deserve all this? Catherine spent hours standing in front of the mirror, asking this question to herself. Why did she let all this happen? Who was to be blamed? She did not know. All that she knew was that she loved him a lot, loved him enough to spend her life taking care of his ten year old daughter. She was ready to lead her life as his widow though she had not married him.

Roger and she were colleagues and she had been there for him whenever he had needed her. She had met Lily, Roger’s wife, during the final days of her life. She had been there for Roger when he mourned. She had taken care of Roger’s daughter when she had awakened in the middle of the night calling for her mother. That was the first time she had stayed back at Roger’s place. After that she frequently stayed back at his place to take care of his daughter. She had held Roger in her arms as he cried. She had tried her best to bring Roger’s life back to normal.
Three years. She had given three years of her life to Roger, attending to his and his daughter’s needs. Christine and she had become friends. The little girl had accepted Catherine as a part of her life and now Catherine was the only family she had.

Catherine pushed aside the covers and carefully got out of the bed. She did not want to wake up the little girl. She walked towards the desk and sat on the chair. After a moment of thinking, she took out a scribble pad from the drawer and wrote a poem for Roger:-

Standing in front of the mirror,

A lump in my throat and ache in heart

I ask myself - Why did I even give you the chance?

Why did I let all this happen?

Why did I let you hurt me and walk away?

I stand there, for hours, staring at my reflection

Staring at those lips, as if they would speak

Staring at those eyes, as if they would let me peek into the truth

The warmth of your love, slowly kisses my cheeks

As I see in the mirror, the tears that have finally left my eyes

Why did all this happen?

What am I doing here? Standing like this; in front of the mirror?

Should I be here, asking questions to myself?

Or stand in front of you and ask you why did you do this?

Why did you leave me, right when I needed you?

I don't know,

Things were not meant to happen this way

After all that we shared together.

I was not meant to be standing here, alone.

You were not meant to be there, sleeping alone, forever.

We were meant to be together.

Tears trickled down her face, onto the paper and smeared the word “together”. Perhaps, that sort of connected her with Roger because she felt something warm inside her heart. Suddenly, the breeze entering through the window touched her skin in a manner that made her shiver. Her hair that rose and fell with the breeze made her feel as if he was whispering something in her ears. She tore off the paper from the pad, neatly folded the paper and placed it in an envelope. She got up and turned around. She wanted to visit him right now but it was not possible. The time was 00:25 hrs, five minutes to half hour past midnight, the time Christine woke up because of the nightmare she started having after Roger’s death.
“God, don’t you ever do this to anyone ever!” Catherine whispered as she looked at Christine.
Catherine tiptoed out of the room; she still had five minutes to spend with Roger. She walked to his room and as she turned the knob of the door...

She remembered the day she had told him how much she loved him. That was the day he had told her that he could not love her back. He had loved only one woman all his life, Christine’s mother and his lawfully wedded wife who died of cancer.

As she entered the room, Catherine remembered the first time they made love. She remembered the day when finally Roger had accepted her. As she walked closer to the bed she felt him, felt his warm embrace around her, felt his lips on her neck and she closed her eyes. She visualized them together on the bed that was left unattended since they had slept together on it for the first and the last time. She opened her eyes and kept the envelope on the pillow. She wanted to sit there and spend some more time with him. Suddenly she heard the scream. Christine… She needed her. Catherine got up and rushed to her room. As she reached the door she saw Christine sitting upright in bed, staring towards the wall. Now was the time, Catherine had to rush and stop Christine from climbing out of the bed and flinging herself towards the wall in an attempt to run to her injured daddy. Christine pushed aside the covers and Catherine ran towards her. The strength with which Christine tried to rush towards the wall always amazed Catherine. It was too much for a ten year old. Catherine managed to hold her back and place her on the bed and tuck her in covers. “It is okay honey, it is just a dream. Try to sleep.” Catherine said as Christine struggled to get out of her grip.
“She killed daddy. Mama killed daddy” Christine screamed at the top her voice.
“Hush, just close your eyes and try to sleep, okay. I am here right besides you” saying so, Catherine tried to calm her down and slid in bed next to the little girl who was still trying to get up. It took some more efforts for Catherine to calm her down and then Christine broke into loud sobs as Catherine held her close to her chest.
“Please stop this Lord” Catherine prayed. It had been one year since that dreadful accident that had killed Roger. The accident that had taken place the very next day Roger and she had come together. One year, Catherine thought. How could He punish a little girl like that? Christine had been having these dreams for past one year now. It had started taking a toll on her health. She could neither sleep nor eat properly.
“Mama killed daddy” she kept on repeating in her sleep too.

Initially Catherine had assumed that the nightmares would take a backseat after Christine came out of the shock. She had expected this to last only for a few months but she had been worried when it continued to happen every night. Christine vaguely remembered her dream and it had started affecting her health because of lack of sleep. She could not sleep for a long time after the dream. Catherine had visited a child psychologist for Christine and now she was under his treatment. He had been working on her for a few months but without any success. Last time she had visited him, he had expressed his fears that Christine might need medication. Catherine was not ready for this. There has to be some other way, she had told the doctor.

Catherine had discussed this with the doctor and he had not denied the possibility. She felt that one of the reasons for Christine’s nightmares was that she had played an important role in bringing Roger and her together. Now, after her daddy was killed in an accident she must be feeling that her mama had punished her daddy for thinking of another woman and was now haunting her because she had brought them close. There was no other possible explanation she could come up with. However, there was one more thing that they could not find answer for. Catherine and the doctor failed to understand why Christine repeatedly said that she had seen her mother on the day of the accident. Not once but twice. Once at the accident spot and second time in the hospital where Roger was declared dead!

As Catherine held Christine close to her chest, she remembered the day of the accident. They had been out for a movie and on their way back home, Roger had crossed over to buy ice-cream for Christine as Christine and she waited on the other side of the road. When Roger was about to cross the road, a speeding car had hit him. The car had come to a screeching halt at some distance but had then sped away. Catherine had rushed towards Roger but Christine had continued staring at the car. Suddenly she started screaming that her mama was driving the car that had hit Roger.
Catherine had picked her up and pushed her in the cab in which Roger was being taken to the hospital. The doctors attended to Roger but he was declared dead on admission. Christine screamed yet again saying that she had seen her mama at the entrance of the hospital. Catherine could not believe what Christine was saying. How could she?
Catherine just wanted all this to stop and she was ready to do anything for that. But there was nothing she could do.

The doctor had even suggested that Catherine should marry someone else, it might perhaps help Christine but Catherine was not ready for that. Had she been sure that it would help Christine she could’ve considered the option but somewhere deep within her heart she knew it was not going to happen that way. There had to be some other way. There was a way, she was sure. She just needed to reach there.

Catherine looked at Christine who was now sleeping peacefully. She climbed out of bed and walked to the window. She had to visit the doctor the next day. Perhaps he was right. Christine needed medication. She was ready to take the risk if that would help Christine.
Then, why was she not ready to take the risk of marrying someone else if that could help Christine? Catherine closed her eyes and tears trickled down her cheeks. Was she being selfish?
She turned around and walked out of the room. She walked to Roger’s room and slid into the bed. She needed him to hold her, she needed him to tell her what was the right thing to do; she needed him to hug her and assure her that everything would be fine. She did not want to fail. She did not want to stand in front of his grave and tell him that she could not do anything for his daughter, their daughter.
Catherine never knew when she fell asleep.

When she woke up the next day she walked back to Christine’s room before the girl woke up. She had made up her mind. After sending Christine to school, Catherine walked to Roger’s grave and kept a rose and the envelope on the grave.
She got in her car and then drove to the psychologist’s clinic. She waited for her turn to go in but before that the psychologist walked out saying that he had to cancel all his appointments for personal reason. After being the relative of his patient for many months, Catherine was now friends with the psychologist and when she saw the look on his face, she knew it was something serious. She knew it was about his wife.
They had met on a weekend and, over a cup of coffee the psychologist had told her about his wife who had been in persistent vegetative state* for more than a year now. There were times when she became unresponsive. Doctors attending to her had said that perhaps she could be bed-ridden for the rest of her life. That was not the way his wife wanted to live, the doctor had told Catherine. At times, he wanted to take that bold step and put an end to all this and at other times he wanted to let it be. Sometimes, hoped that she would recover. Sometimes, was ready to take care of her, for the rest of her life even if she was bed-ridden. That day Catherine had seen a completely different man.

Catherine stood up as the doctor walked towards her.
She had started caring for the man and as he told her the reason for canceling the appointments she wanted to accompany him. He did not say anything, perhaps because he too wanted a company.

They drove to the hospital, the same hospital where Roger had been taken on the day of the accident. As they walked towards the I.C.U. the doctor held Catherine’s hand. She tightened her grip on his hand and assured him that everything would be fine. The staff was waiting for them. The attending doctor said that the patient had become unresponsive and there was very little hope that she would recover and the administration wanted him to take some decision. When Catherine saw the frail woman lying on the hospital bed she kept staring at her. It was not possible, just not possible! How could she be here, in the hospital when she was already dead!
Catherine could not believe the resemblance between doctor’s wife and Christine’s mother.

Suddenly Catherine remembered what the doctor had told her. She remembered the accident he had mentioned, the one that had left her in this state. Two accidents on the same day had ruined two families. His wife had hit a man while speeding at the red light trying to reach home in a hurry. She had halted for a moment but then sped away and then she had followed the family to the hospital where she had learned that the man she had hit was declared dead. She had called him up and told him about the man, his wife and his daughter. On her way home from the hospital she had met with an accident and had been punished for what she had done.

Catherine closed her eyes; she heard Christine’s screams that her mama was driving the car that had killed her daddy; she heard Christine’s screams telling her that she had seen her mama in the hospital too. Catherine’s head started spinning. She held the doctor’s arm. He turned to look at her. Catherine knew how to save the doctor’s wife; she also knew how to help Christine. She then told him about the resemblance between his wife and Lily; Christine’s mother. Finally, God had heard her prayers. Catherine felt as if Roger had finally stepped in to help her, help her to help his daughter.

After school, Christine was brought to the hospital. She was shocked when she saw the doctor’s wife. The girl stood rooted to the ground. Catherine made her walk close to the woman and hold her hand. The girl turned around and ran out of the room. Catherine had a hard time convincing the girl and explaining everything to her. At one point of time she was not sure whether Christine understood what she was saying but then as the girl walked towards the room she knew that she had succeeded in convincing the girl.
After some time, Christine whispered something in the woman’s ears and the woman responded. She turned to look at Christine and, tears gathered in her eyes. Christine turned around and walked out of the room. She did not say anything on way back home; she did not say anything on entering the house. She just locked herself in her daddy’s room. Catherine knew that everything was going to be fine. When Christine opened the door, she rushed towards Catherine and hugged her.

That night, Christine slept peacefully.

********************

Confession

2009-11-06T13:46:00.002+05:30

I am new to the concept of 55 Fiction. I’d heard about it but never tried because I find it difficult to write following rules. Yes, I have written a few Acrostics, Haikus’, Tankas’ etc. but I love writing free verse. I have now decided to venture into the follow-some-rules-when-you-write zone. I am sure I will be able to do it, just need encouragement from the readers. Help me to grow as a writer.

What follows is my first attempt at 55 Fiction:

Confession:
Stepping out of the bed, he started his day unwillingly. Word; lies, pretentions, sorry tales, crimes and heart-breaks surrounded him. He listened to each person half-heartedly, as he counted his own sins. Sitting on the receiving end of the confession box he wished he could confess his sins to someone, someday and be set free.

55 fiction at Wikipedia

Memories that would last forever…

2009-11-04T16:43:00.006+05:30

Junior college [Class XII tuitions]
She entered my life as a gush of fresh air, as a volcano of words, as a hurricane of emotions, as flood of love and joy! I never heard her call me as Arti; it has always been Aarteee sounding as if someone has just pricked her with a pin. Her vibrant voice still echoes in my ears… “Aarteee … get up… we have class today!” I rub my eyes, pull up the covers and tell her that it is too early to get up as the class begins after 2 hours! But before I complete my statement I find the covers in her hand and her hand on my neck! “Get up …I want to talk to you!” Then she accompanies me wherever I go [accept few private places], makes sure that I have brushed my teeth properly and then after I become presentable enough for the class she starts talking …

when the other students join us for the tuition we realize it is time for our class to begin! The moment the class gets over she attacks our kitchen and as she satisfies her appetite she continues talking about what she had not mentioned before the class. Surprisingly enough it is more than what she has already talked! The dull hour of tuition is made up for, by the next few hours of entertainment that she provides. Then, she leaves my house and I wait eagerly for the next day of our tuition even if it means being forced to get up early. She, my alarm clock never failed to make my day!
Had it not been for her, I would have never looked forward to those tuition classes. She was company for the two tuitions that were conducted at my residence, Chemistry and Mathematics and both were equally boring for me! But, today if someone asks me to take those classes again and take them with her, I would readily agree!

End of tuition did not mean end of the chattering, but yes, as years went by, I saw another, more serious part of her! The outer bubbly girl was equally deep from within. We have shared not many but quite a few memorable moments together. There was a time when we were out of touch but still we knew that we were just a call away. When either one of us would be in need the other person would be there to care and share. When we finished our H.S.C. and opted for different careers the dust of time did cover our footprints but the footprints still existed. Now, she is married and settled in Mississippi, USA. Things have changed a bit but one thing has not changed at all … even today when she opens her mouth to talk no one on this earth can stop the volcano of words that flow! I know her as a person who talks so much so I am surprised to know that she is one of the silent visitors of my blog. She reads all my posts but has commented only on one post till date.
I am thankful to the voice chat facility of yahoo messenger that allows me to listen to her talks, once in a while. I still remember the day when we were having voice chat and the speakers were on high volume. Her welcome note – “Aartee, how are you?” Echoed in my entire house and mom came out of the kitchen and looked around as if expecting her to be in the room!
Recently she gave me a surprise visit and as you all must have assumed, the morning alarm buzzed in my room after so many years! The covers were yet again pulled off and my neck once again massaged! Once again my brushing was monitored and once again our kitchen was attacked. Everything was as it was before, except the tuitions [and I am thankful for that]. Once again our house echoed with her voice and once again I waited eagerly for her next visit. Then was the time I felt sad that we did not have tuitions because that would have meant much sooner attack on our kitchen! But yes, she came again and she yet again blessed our kitchen and when she was about to leave I felt like giving her a tight hug!

April 7, 2006 … 3 am IST
I was unable to sleep. My mind was forming sentences in my head for the sentimental article and I could think of only one person who could be mentioned in it, at least for this moment. I have been missing her for past few days and she was still on my mind. All of a sudden I sent her a message on her yahoo id through my cell. I had a feeling that she would be online and my thoughts were confirmed when she replied back. She was surprised to receive a message from me at this odd hour. She insisted that I should go to sleep but I wanted to chat with her for some time and so we had a short chat. She sent me messages from her yahoo messenger and I replied from my cell. I even told her that the person who has made this possible i.e. chatting from mobile deserves a kiss and hug from me and so does she, the person who has made this service worth using! We exchanged a few messages and then we ended the chat with a message from her side that though she is not within arms reach she is just a phone call, text message, and an email or offline message away!
Today, as she reads this sitting in her room in Mississippi I want her to imagine a warm hug and I want to tell her that I feel I have gone deaf because I no more hear any vibrant voice echoing in our house. I sleep till late in the morning because the alarm of my mobile is not as high-pitched as her wake up call. I want her to know that our kitchen is missing her and I want her to know that I am missing her more than I thought I ever would!

November 4, 2009 … 16: 40 IST

It is her birthday today. It has been a while since the voice echoed in my house. Let it be live or through the computer speakers. However, it still echoes in my mind and she’ll always be a part of my life.

Happy Birthday Jayanthi.

At Times...

2009-11-03T00:52:00.001+05:30

At times, there was so much to say
But I did not get the chance
At times, you looked in my eyes
Waiting for me to say something,
But all that I could do was just look at you.

At times, I wanted you to hold me
But you were just so very busy
At times, when you held me
I felt the moment should never pass
But, all wishes never come true
And I know that because of you.

The more I wanted you to be there for me
The more the distance grew
There were possibilities for us to change...
All that was happening between us
But we both just did not have the time
Now, as I sip coffee, I often go back in time

Do you go back in time too?
Do you realize,too, all that happened was wrong?
Sometimes, I wonder, should we give ourselves one more chance
And see if our love for one another is still strong.

When Dreams Shatter

2009-10-30T21:22:00.001+05:30

Wandering the streets
Hurt and regret in heart
Endless journey to a destination unknown
No one to accompany him on the isolated path

Dreams shattered, for good or for the bad
Running aimlessly, away from pain or towards it
Every night he cocoons into his own little world
A restless soul that he is,
Makes him more vulnerable to the prick of fate
Shattered completely, with no aim in life

She comes in his life, fragrance of fresh flowers
He hates her, loathes her for the happiness she spreads
A smile spreads over her face, a smile that says "I know"
That moment he's mesmerized by her smile
That moment he knows who she is
Everything then falls in right places
Regrets dissolve as his angel holds his hand

Acrostic

Taking It Easy…

2009-10-27T01:00:00.009+05:30

There are so many times in Life when we face situations when people tell us, “take it easy”. So many times we say the same thing to other people. “take it easy”

What do you actually mean by that? Take It Easy? Is it really easy to take it easy when Life throws difficult situations at us? What do we have to do to take it easy? Sit, relax, take deep breaths? Expect that Life will solve the problem on its own?

Believe me, taking it easy is really difficult task and frustrating, right when we have to do it. We do not like it when people say that to us. We turn to those people who listen to us, listen to what we have to say without sharing their two cents, we love talking to those who sympathize with us. As if “that” is really going to help. I think, yes, it does help. How so? When someone is frustrated, by default his listening system goes on strike. The system goes into hibernation, if not shut down. The best thing to do at such times is just listen to what that person has to say. Sympathizing can at times act as double-edged sword, so best … just listen. Sometimes, listening to someone would help that person in ways we can never imagine. I have had my own experiences. Both as giver and taker of sharing information business. It Helps.

This is the reason, I feel “take it easy” is an advice we need to give to ourselves as listeners rather than to the person going through the bad phase. Listen when the person wants to vent out, because anyways he is not going to understand what you are saying.

Then, as you feel the right time has come - “the person has taken it easy” you can share your two cents. Normally, these are the best times a person will understand what is being said even if we tell him that he was the one who was on the wrong side. Of course, a lot depends on “how “ you say it.

Recently, I had such an experience. A friend called me up to tell me something he was going through. A bad phase. I allowed him to vent out for as much time as he wanted to. I listened and he thanked me for understanding and supporting him. Then – after two days I explained what I actually felt about the whole situation. I told him how he was the one who was on the wrong side and whatever amendments were to be made had to be made by him. I was amazed by how quick he was to understand what I told him. He agreed to all that I said and admitted that he would have not understood it had I told him two days ago.

So, whenever you say “Take It Easy” to someone, think twice. Perhaps you need it more than the person trapped in bad situation. You need to take it easy and hold back the reins of the horse named advice.

My two cents.

Dreams... do come true

2009-10-26T04:57:00.005+05:30

Dreams -
Of those deep blue eyes,
Staring at me from far away ...
Watching every step of mine,
Watching over me, protecting me.

Open eyes -
I look around,
Alone on the bed, I lay -
I close my eyes ...
Waiting to sleep again.

Soft breathing -
On my neck,
Awakens me, startled.
Those deep blue eyes -
Mischief in them ...
I smile as you stare at me -
Propped up on your elbow,
So close to me.

And, I believe -
Dreams do come true!

Self - respect v/s Ego

2009-10-23T05:47:00.012+05:30

Past few days I have been thinking about something. It started as a thought, turned into discussion with friends and now the next step is this post. Please note, I did not say it ends in a post. Because, this is not the end! I expect some input from the reader’s as well...

What is self –respect and what is Ego? Is there any difference? If yes, what?
Let us talk about the definitions:

Self – respect: The quality of being worthy of esteem or respect
Ego: An inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others

According to me, there is a very thin line between self-respect and Ego. One ends and the other begins. Ego is overdoing self-respect. I also believe that the line is never fixed, it shifts. So how do we exactly study the line, I thought.
I tweeted my thoughts and received response from one of my followers who also added that “Self - respect is a positive spin and Ego a negative spin to the same trait. To be simple one could say Ego - I am the best, Self - respect - I am not worse than anyone else.”

I found this interesting and decided to study “the fibres of thin line” between the two. I had a discussion with a few friends. Most of them had to say the same thing, a few differed. What follows is the discussion between friends and me.

Let it be self – respect or ego, both are subjective. What might be self respect for me might be ego for someone else. As a friend says, "we humans are weird creatures, sometimes we do what we don't want to or we think after doing so you just can't judge them, you know you can’t find out what kind of person one is, label them and they will shock you. So just make it simple, each one of us has the right to set our own boundary and we should respect it and not label them as egotist, egoist, negative or whatever”

Apart from being subjective, both are conditional – depend on the circumstances. What might seem like self –respect in one situation might be ego in another. When I questioned a few friends with examples, they had different answers. A few justified the action taken during that particular situation as being self respect whereas a few said it was nothing but the ego.

The e.g. I gave was:

If you are friends with A, just friends, less than good friends and more than acquaintance, have had conversation in the past however suddenly A stops responding. Ignores your attempts to strike a conversation! You then decide to give up. This “giving up” is self respect or Ego?

Like I had expected majority of people said it was self respect. Yes, majority. There were a few who said it was ego. A friend also added that it depends on the friendship with A. Another friend said it was self – respect because had it been ego, “you” would have not tried to start a conversation with A, at all.
Yet another good friend of mine said, “You never know what it is on A’s side, maybe A has his/her own reasons. Maybe A does not have time, is busy doing something else. So, the decision you take is based on your assumptions that you are being ignored, that is human nature." She said it was Ego to give up trying to strike a conversation.
This friend was the first person to whom I asked the modified question.

Modified version:

If B is a common friend to you and A. You come to know that A has been talking to B while ignoring your attempts to converse, what would you do? And, what would you consider this as?
To this she said she’d stop trying and this giving up would be self –respect.
Also, if that person has straight-away instructed her to not try talking then she would refrain from doing that as her self – respect.

The friend who said that we humans are weird creatures had an interesting answer to share:
For first example: See when you give-up without any response from other party, it's more or less because of your own assumptions because second party is not at all involved.
For modified version: Depends on person and circumstances. She might even go and talk to A and get things clarified. On the other hand, in different situation, maybe different person, she might choose not to talk to A, rather not talk about the problem. She added - if you two are mature enough, you never ignore each other completely; we tend to overlook the problem and behave as if nothing has happened. Sometimes, it is necessary to behave that way because man is a social animal.

Yet another friend at twitter said in first example he might have given up due to self esteem, or he might have just given up hope... less chances of ego. In the modified example, if A does not talk to him, he will obviously be hurt... but whether that hurt also affects his ego will depend on how much he values the friendship between A and him. There might be a different relation between B and A, I might know B from school; A might know B from some social activity. All relations are different, so you cannot compare them.

I was still thinking –

If we say that self – respect and ego are subjective and dependent on circumstances and, the thin line shifting accordingly, is it not true that both self – respect and ego are just perceptions?
I asked a few questions to a good friend by email. The conversation is as follows:

1. According to you, are self - respect and Ego two sides of the same coin or they are the continuation of a line. As in, one ends and the other begins?

I think they are not necessarily related. Ego is just a term to describe a psychological concept, whereas self-respect has more to do with ideals and character.

2. If latter, do you agree that there is a very thin line of differentiation between the two?

I think, in fact, sometimes they can be opposite.

3. Do you agree that the line is ever shifting?

No.

4. How would you differentiate the two? Define the fibers of the thin line ...

See number one. Ego is merely a concept, yet unproven that it exists at all. Ego could be another term for self-centerdness, in which case ego would not be a good thing. However, self-respect is always good because it is something everyone should endeavour towards, and allows us to also respect others.

5. What is self respect for you might be Ego for someone else, so do you believe that it is subjective?

Possibly, since ego is merely a concept and not a proven fact. Therefore, ego is probably open to interpretation.

6. What is self respect in particular situation is Ego in another, so do you believe that it is situational?

Possibly, See number 5.

7. If the above two points are true, then ... can we say that Self- respect and Ego are nothing but just perspectives?

Ego could perhaps be perspective, but self-respect is not.

8. Let us talk about an example: You are friends with someone ... say A. Just friends ... a little more than acquaintance and less than good friends. You both communicate with each other on regular basis. All of a sudden A decides to stay aloof. Has nothing to do with you or the topics you discuss. You try to strike a conversation, it is neglected. You try for some time and then give up. Now, this giving up, is self - respect or Ego?

It depends why you do it. If you stop talking to the person because you don't want to waste his/her time and yours, and because you don't push yourself on others, that is self-respect. If you stop talking to the person because of self-centerdness and ill-directed pride, then it is possibly ego.

9. Modification in point 8: B is a common friend to both of you. You three meet at a party. This is sudden, not decide. A talks to B but ignores you. How will you react to this? And, would this reaction be your self - respect or Ego?

I really wouldn't care. I have plenty of friends, so I don't care if someone doesn't want to be friendly with me. I also don't begrudge others friendships. We are all different, and cannot be liked by everyone, nor should we expect to be. In my opinion, my reaction would be based neither upon self-respect or ego, but upon common sense.

10. If after a few weeks, A decides to talk to you, how would you react? If you choose to ignore A, would that be your self-respect or Ego?

Again, I wouldn't care either way. If I thought we had something in common, I would perhaps interact with A. If I thought A were being manipulative, I probably would avoid A. That is because I try to avoid drama. Again, that would neither be self-respect nor ego, but prudence.

To all the friends to whom I did not ask the last question, please think about it and send in your answers or just leave a comment here.

If I am asked the last question, I would say it would depend. Subjective and Conditional! I might not talk to that person, might talk to that person but my future actions would be biased or I might talk to that person totally forgetting what had happened.

There are a few topics, which are too complex to fit into solid blocks of thinking. You cannot be sure that you will react to a particular situation in a particular manner every time. Think about this –
You have read this post, managed to reach here without feeling sleepy, you are obviously asking these questions to yourself. You will take your time to come up with an answer.
But –
If life throws such circumstances your way, would you really think and take a decision, or react? Would you even think once, forget twice, before severing your contacts with A? Especially if you are thrown in together as in modified version?
Would you not react spontaneously?
Would you ask yourself, behaving in what manner would be your self – respect or your ego?
Like one of my friends says, “We are humans we are not conditioned to think normally, but give in to our emotions. If you go by emotions and react instantly, there is a very high chance that it is ego. I doubt there'd be many people who'd think through this whole situation before hand, and prepare a response for it or even wait to think and then react”

Now, you think! Take your own time and leave your views in comment section :)

Ok, last but not the least: An interesting article written by a friend few years ago.

Silent Moments With Dad...

2009-10-19T03:37:00.016+05:30

I had written this post during the earlier days of Blogging. I found it in my file and just felt like posting it again ...

There is no limit to reminiscing. You cannot really predict how far you can go in your past when you are nostalgic and usually the triggering factor is disguised in the simplest of forms. My dad and I have spent very few silent moments together. Most of the times we are either quarrelling or making fun of each other or irritating mother by making fun of her. I have gone through all sorts of emotions when dealing with dad. I have loved him, hated him, fought with him, cared for him, got angry on him, snuggled close to him, respected him, feared him, cried because of him and even made him cry. I still remember that day, many a years ago, when dad had cried because of me. Not that I had done or said anything to hurt him [at least not that day]. He had cried because he had read a poem I had written for him in which I have mentioned about growing up into a woman and expressed the fear of getting married some day and being separated from him. My brother had asked me what I had said to him to make him cry. I was astonished because I had not seen him cry. My brother had seen him cry because he was walking past dads’ room when dad was allowing feelings to flow unbounded from his eyes. My dad is a man who does not like to expose the emotional part of his personality.

After I came to know about this incident I walked to dads’ room. He looked up and smiled. The tears were behind the veil by now. He handed over the paper to me on which I had written the poem and which I had kept on the desk by mistake. I never intended to give it to him. It was my personal feeling, my secret but because of that I came to know dads’ secret that though he presented himself as a tough guy from outside, from inside he was a soft person who was susceptible to emotional disturbances just like I was or mom was. I will remember this silent moment for the rest of my life.

Another silent moment, which I would cherish forever, took place few years ago when dad, mom and I had gone to Matheran for a short vacation. We explored the various points and were tired. I am prone to acidity problems and because of that I was having severe headache. I had already puked two-three times and it seemed as if thousands of elephants were dancing on my head. [OK! I know I am exaggerating!! But I was really feeling sick. I hope you got the rough idea of severity by now] I had taken a tablet for acidity and also a painkiller. I was about to throw myself on the bed when dad insisted that we go for a walk. I gave him a look of “How in the world could you think that I am capable enough to go on a walk with you?” But when dad has made up his mind, there is no changing it. He dragged me out of the room and told mom that we would be back in half an hour. I started walking towards the regular path we had taken past two days to visit the various points but he held my hand and made me walk in opposite direction. I was in no mood to question anything and followed his footsteps. It was evening time and the soft breeze tickled my skin. We both walked for some time without saying a word. It was obvious that dad had discovered this path during one of his solitary walks because he knew where he was going.

With my head on the verge of bursting open and legs on way of giving up I managed to look around the place. There was no one on the road, just dad and me. It was so peaceful and all of a sudden I felt that nature was infusing strength in me. I was enjoying the moment and dad was enjoying it too. Slowly the headache seemed to subside. We walked to the nearby park and sat on a bench.

The sun had bid farewell to my part of the world and the moon was already smiling. It was very quiet and even a whisper was loud enough to be heard by a person few feet away from us [It is another story that there was no one around] Dad said, “Tell me when your headache vanishes so that we can go back.” He did not know that it had already vanished the moment we entered the park but I did not wish to return. I could not believe that a little more than half an hour before I had not wished to move out of the room and now I was unwilling to go back. We sat there, silently. Then we returned back to the room. What was supposed to be a walk of half an hour turned out to be a walk of 2 hours! That day dad taught me two lessons ~

Nature is the best medicine
Silence speaks loud enough for two hearts to hear.

Poems related to this post:

Of Love And The Woods

I still remember,
my walk with him in the woods
Where silence soothes the aching heart
Where the birds sing their love song
Where dried leaves crushed under the feet
Make music and not merely sound.

I still remember,
my walk with him in the woods
When he held my hand
And I was assured, I would never be alone
Where time had stood still
As we sat, enjoying each other's company.

I still remember,
my walk with him in the woods
When I saw the other side of Dad
When I rediscovered that I loved him
perhaps a little more than I admit-
When nature was the soothing balm
for all the aches I carried within.

Addition:

The woods waits for us to visit again,
we might find time out of busy schedule;
and go there, just the two of us,
walk the same road, we had walked years ago ...
But -
Would we be the same, as we were .. then?

Some more Diwali special pics

2009-10-17T21:12:00.006+05:30