• By far the most motivating thing for David has been downloading the Bible for MP3 and giving him the means of listening to it in his room. He is very much an auditory learner. I used to think that he was uninterested in the Bible, but when he could listen to the Bible, I got a better sense of his interest level.
• The most motivating thing for Bethel has been to learn how to read. She expressed several times her desire to learn to read the Bible, and from the time she could read simple sentences, she read her Bible at night. (but then, she’s a word person like her mama).
• We have deliberately connected learning to read with getting a nice Bible. Laurel has a new Bible with her name embossed on it, but she can’t have it until she can read it.
• Teaching them to use their Bible. I grew up loving the center margin cross references in my Bible. I’ve showed the children how to find an original prophecy, or similar verses, or the harmony of the gospels, by using those cross references. I spent one day helping them find places in the maps at the back of their Bibles.
• Teaching them to use Bible tools. I remember how excited I was to learn how to use Strong’s Concordance. I’ve helped David learn to use biblegateway.com in the same way. This is exciting.
• Highlighters. I gave all the kids highlighters, and told them they could highlight verses that they wanted to remember. We talked about not highlighting too much, and not drawing pictures, but as a whole, the idea of highlighting has been a positive one.
• Teaching them verses that correspond to their interests. David loves bird verses. Bethel likes horse verses. There are funny verses and helpful verses. David loves verses about King David. Every once in awhile, I tell my children. “I have a verse for you.” and then I read it to them, or give them a paper with the reference on it. When David expressed an interest in the tabernacle, I bought several references that would help him understand it.
• Teaching them verses that help them. I showed Bethel Psalms about going to sleep. I discovered later that she highlighted those verses and learned them well. This is true in my own life. I get excited when I see the relevance of God’s Word in my life, when I see that God HAS given me everything I need for life and godliness. I’m learning that for my children, they don’t always get the connection without me specifically teaching it. I helped David label Psalms awhile back– when I am discouraged, when others are being mean, when I can’t sleep, etc. I could do this more.
• I’ve deliberately looked for scripture songs set to music. When the Scripture songs are relevant to our lives, they have been of great value. Many times, our children have started singing, “Do everything without complaining” as they struggled to keep their rooms clean. Music has been a good way to remember verses that we use often.
• Allowing them to stay up later than normal if they are reading or listening to the Bible. This is highly motivating to my night owl, but not as motivating for my child who goes to sleep within two minutes of laying head on pillow. Since Laurel can’t read, she can look at Bible Story books.
• AWANA. Our children have been highly motivated by the AWANA curriculum, not just to learn the verses, but also to complete assignments given by the teachers. (David’s AWANA teacher has been giving him short assignments designed to get students in the Word. David takes these assignments very seriously.) I’ve been thankful for the AWANA program.
• For Christmas, our two older children received Christian non-fiction. David received a book on birds, and Bethel received God’s Names. I let them read these books for school and suggested that they highlight the verses they liked in their Bible. It didn’t surprise me that they both have been very happy doing this. They do have other reading books for school, and I presented it as letting them do something different, if they wanted. I suspected they would choose the new books. When they’re done, we’ll go back to the old reading books.
• When I was a teen, we earned spending money for camp by memorizing verses on the tongue (or some other topic). It was something special, but I remember these verses years later. This was a very unusual occasion where we were rewarded for Scripture memory. I haven’t done this with our children, but I like the idea of rewards for special occasions.
• Sword drills at Sunday school are motivating. We’ve done modified sword drills (with topics, and not references) at home, but both are fun for children, and helpful as they learn how to find verses by themselves. (Learning the books of the Bible is also a good skill to learn)

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Several print versions of Pilgrim’s Progress exist. My recommendation is that you start with the simpler versions first, and then, when your children are familiar with the story, do get the original. Abridged versions take out a good bit of the spiritual discussion to keep the storyline going. The original contains much more than a simple story; in a way, it’s a lot like a sermon told in story form. That’s a pleasant way to hear a sermon; and there is much truth therein. Be prepared: Bunyan wrote Pilgrim’s Progress in 1678. It is not impossible to understand, but it is similar in style to the King James Version of the Bible. For this reason, obtaining it in audio is an excellent approach to learning the original edition.

We have read this one before, when David was about five. Little Pilgrim’s Progress is the same storyline as the original, but the main characters are children, and the language and concepts are simplified and explained so that children readily understand them. It is excellent, and I think an important introduction to the story. It has adequate pictures to help children follow along. This is a good one to read to your children first.

Last year, I purchased Dangerous Journey, which is a picture book version that I purchased primarily for the artwork. The story is adapted, presenting the major events in Pilgrim’s journey, with full page color  pictures throughout. The pictures are of excellent quality, British in style. (Two or three of the pictures are scary: page 67, for example. A  sensitive preschooler might not like a few of the pictures.) I think I like this book more than our children do. I like it very much for the artwork, but for the story, I think that Little Pilgrim’s Progress is better.

There are other “updated” versions available. They seem like they’ve updated the language for modern audience. I don’t know much about them, but if the style of writing in the original is distasteful, it might be worthwhile to investigate these.

As we were listening last weekend, I was particularly interested in a discussion about how to distinguish God-honoring fear and sinful fear. Since this has been a recurring topic that I think of during quiet moments, the discussion caught my ear. We tend to think all fear in a parent is sinful, not trusting God. I think we overlook fear that is God-given and profitable spiritually, including, but not limited to, the fear of God. Lee found the excerpt on Project Gutenburg. I don’t have any answers, but at some point I’ll write another installment in the parenting by fear series. Here is the excerpt.

 CHR. Indeed the Word saith, “He hath blinded their eyes, lest they should see”, &c. But now we are by ourselves, what do you think of such men? Have they at no time, think you, convictions of sin, and so consequently fears that their state is dangerous?

HOPE. Nay, do you answer that question yourself, for you are the elder man.

CHR. Then I say, sometimes (as I think) they may; but they being naturally ignorant, understand not that such convictions tend to their good; and therefore they do desperately seek to stifle them, and presumptuously continue to flatter themselves in the way of their own hearts.

{369} HOPE. I do believe, as you say, that fear tends much to men’s good, and to make them right, at their beginning to go on pilgrimage.

CHR. Without all doubt it doth, if it be right; for so says the Word, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” [Prov. 1:7, 9:10, Job 28:28, Ps. 111:10]

{370} HOPE. How will you describe right fear?

CHR. True or right fear is discovered by three things:–

1. By its rise; it is caused by saving convictions for sin.

2. It driveth the soul to lay fast hold of Christ for salvation.

3. It begetteth and continueth in the soul a great reverence of God, his Word, and ways, keeping it tender, and making it afraid to turn from them, to the right hand or to the left, to anything that may dishonour God, break its peace, grieve the Spirit, or cause the enemy to speak reproachfully.

HOPE. Well said; I believe you have said the truth. Are we now almost got past the Enchanted Ground?

CHR. Why, art thou weary of this discourse?

HOPE. No, verily, but that I would know where we are.

{371} CHR. We have not now above two miles further to go thereon. But let us return to our matter. Now the ignorant know not that such convictions as tend to put them in fear are for their good, and therefore they seek to stifle them.

HOPE. How do they seek to stifle them?

{372} CHR. 1. They think that those fears are wrought by the devil, (though indeed they are wrought of God); and, thinking so, they resist them as things that directly tend to their overthrow.

2. They also think that these fears tend to the spoiling of their faith, when, alas, for them, poor men that they are, they have none at all! and therefore they harden their hearts against them.

3. They presume they ought not to fear; and, therefore, in despite of them, wax presumptuously confident.

4. They see that those fears tend to take away from them their pitiful old self-holiness, and therefore they resist them with all their might.

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Last night I realized that I haven’t had the kids write out in their words their testimony. I might do this, and see what we get. While I do not want them to invent a memory, I would desire that they remember what they have done. Talking and writing about their profession is of great value toward this end. The more they remember, the better able they will be to evaluate their own profession in years to come.

If you’re wondering about young children and their capacity for salvation, I commend to you Spurgeon’s book on this topic. Please read it, if you have not done so. It will encourage and challenge you, far more than most child-rearing books in print today.

Random thoughts:

I believe that salvation is simple enough for a child to understand. I believe that, while it is appropriate to evaluate a child’s understanding of salvation, Scripture makes refusing a child’s testimony to be a very serious thing. Adults seem to require far greater maturity of an adult convert than a child convert. Children are developing mentally and physically, making their spiritual growth look different than an adult convert. Cultivating a desire for spiritual things is important (just because plants naturally grow doesn’t mean than we shouldn’t tend them carefully!) I need to trust the Holy Spirit with the salvation of my children. It is also not a good thing to carry guilt for a long period of time. How a child perceives himself is of importance (more on this later).

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“Did you know that God gave you a love for words on purpose? He wants you to be a good steward of those words! When you whine and cry, you are not using the words that God has given you.”

I told her that we were going to learn a verse. We repeated it several times.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold
In settings of silver.  (Proverbs 25:11)

This morning at breakfast we talked about what “a word fitly spoken” actually is. I defined it as the right word, at the right time, in the right way. Then I gave them some examples and had them guess where the breakdown was– saying yes, ma’am in a snotty voice, asking for a drink of water after bedtime, asking five times for the thing that mom said no about, calling someone stupid– they started giving suggestions after awhile.

This was a good, encouraging conversation. I have the feeling that I’ll be discussing these things again.Similar Posts:

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In any case, I’ll share a little of what has been rolling around in my head. Hopefully I can keep my tone under control.

We seem to need a more robust (i.e., biblical) idea of sanctification. That’s safe, isn’t it? We can all grow in our understanding of sanctification.

Lately, I’ve been disturbed by this fad of addressing all our failures by lamenting the need for more gospel-centered this or that. I’m not opposed to being gospel centered! But I am opposed to making gospel centered be a required part of every conversation. (It feels like a grammarian banning pronouns. I’m not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me.) The gospel-centered people don’t want me to feel guilty when I sin. They are especially worried about legalism (a term that should be excised from our Christian vocabulary– we have better Bible words that are far more precise and useful). Remembering the gospel is almost a panacea for overcoming sin. When God’s commands are discussed, in order to be “gospel centered,” every exhortation must contain “gospel centered” language. Otherwise, it’s obviously not gospel centered. Of course. I’d like to be friends with the gospel-centered people, but I don’t think I’m on the approved list.

Peter says it this way:but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen. (II Peter 3:18)

Paul (ehem, the writer of Hebrews) says it this way: For everyone who partakes only of milk isunskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. ¹⁴ But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is,those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. (Hebrews 5:13)

Growing in patience or wisdom or discipline takes a lot of time. A lot of practice. Sigh. If I could master patience in a year, anger in eleven months, love (since its so basic) in a month or two, and so on, I’d be perfect by the time I was forty. What fun! I’d love to be perfect for a few decades. Seriously, I do need to serious about sin. I need to be diligent to add a whole lot of things to my faith. But I can take heart in knowing that growth (i.e., failure and success) is an expected and blessed part of life. Can God be pleased with my life when I’m full of failing? Not just seeing Christ’s righteousness, but actually pleased with me?

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I’ve been thinking lately that I need to be slow to speak for another reason: I’m interfering with my children’s ability to solve their problems.

Typically, I hear a scream from a child, and my reaction is to come investigate immediately. After all, the screamer is not solving a problem correctly, and there is undoubtedly an instigator who has also done something wrong. They need correction! My suspicions are confirmed if I wait a second, because then I hear “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Now I know something happened, and I want to know what it was.

I am noticing that, if I can restrain myself, often (though not always), the screamer and teaser resolve their problem without my even coming in the room. I’m wondering whether delaying my response will help the screamer to deal with the problem on her own. Maybe she’ll use her scream to effect change instead of to alert mom for help, but I do see that as progress. We have further to go, but I’m interested  to think that being quick to hear and slow to speak has value in this context as well. For now, I’ve been ignoring the fight, and waiting to see how they resolve the issue. Isn’t that what I am working towards?Similar Posts:

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As I watched her process this information (atypically without tears) I thought, What if I saw my role with my daughter as simply a definer of these types of situations– interpreting for her when she cannot have her own way, and when she’s actually been treated unfairly. What if  a child needs a patient interpreter of life to repeatedly help her understand she is not the center of the universe?

Usually, I’m thinking more like an antagonist: My child is whining and complaining. Whining and complaining are sins, and thus I must do or say what is necessary to stop such behavior in my child.

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An excellent  missions blog I read on occasion has a link to a website that I found fascinating, not merely for its implications in missions, but also for its implications on teaching non-standard learners.

Our American churches emphasize the written word heavily, and well they should. God’s Word was written down, and this is but one reason that we should read it carefully. What, though, for children who are not, and never will be, good readers? What about the teenager with Down’s Syndrome who cannot read? Or the child that simply doesn’t remember what he reads, even though he can recite every episode of his favorite television show from start to finish? What about adults who are embarrassed to try to read aloud in church, or can’t read the songs in the hymnal (or overhead)? Are these people destined to be immature believers simply because they cannot read well?

I’m giving extreme examples, but I’ve long been intrigued with nonstandard ways of teaching God’s Word. Especially for children with disabilities, we are often insensitive to their difficulty with abstract topics, truths that can be learned if taught correctly. Take salvation. Most kids figure out quickly that when we “ask Jesus in our heart” we’re not going to get a physical person invading our organ. An average child will have some confusion. But some children will continue to wrestle with an unintentionally confusing approach to salvation.

Now, back that that website. They’re focussing on orality– characteristics of culture that doesn’t have a written language. Such cultures often respond well to certain approaches to teaching God’s Word.

Here are the strategies they develop:

• Chronological Bible Storying
• Bible Stories on Topics (What’s a Bible story that will teach me how to share?)
• Film and Story
• Bible on Film
• Deaf (Bible in Sign Language)
• Visual Arts
• Proverbs
• Radio

Here is a list of the stories on fear that they broadcast on radio. The list inspires me to continue thinking this way. What do my children need spiritually right now? My children have thoroughly enjoyed our “silly putty discussions” which are simply questions about what verses might fit certain situations. They’ve discovered that there’s a concordance of sorts in the back of their Bibles. I’ve been interested to see their interest. Or maybe they just like playing with silly putty.

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I’ve been talking with my children lately about the relationship between trust and obedience. These are not long conversations. In fact, they are short, but seem to be coming frequently enough that I hope I’m not nagging. I’m realizing how often a failure to obey in one child is a result of a lack of trust. I see evidence in a lack of trust in how they obey, too. Innocent asking for clarification is sometimes a child evaluating for himself whether the command was appropriate. The other day, David was bothered that I allowed the sisters to make cookies without him. I had my reasons, but to explain them would have been inappropriate. The next morning, when I asked him to make the second batch, I asked him if he now understood one reason I wasn’t worried about equality. He got it. I think now, after discussing the relationship between trust and obedience, I simply use the word trust, and it carries the meaning I want. Will you trust me? instead of Will you obey me? I won’t always use this phrase, but right now it’s a good reminder for us.

Then comes introspection. Should I be asking for that trust? In any case, I need to be aware in how I hold the trust that is certainly and naturally given. Am I using my children as servants simply for my own comfort and ease? (e.g., Honey, please stop you game and get me my phone as I sit here on the couch checking Facebook.) Am I faithful to be satisfied with the responsibilities I have given, or do I add jobs on as they work harder? Am I capricious in my consequences? Am I teaching them that obedience is not simply trusting a parent, because parents fail, in spite of our best intentions? Obedience is ultimately trusting God. (A faithful teacher years ago made that same observation regarding submitting to a husband.) Do I have a track record of having reasons for saying no, or is no my default answer? Do I answer too quickly when a request is made, and need to change my answer when I’ve thought more about it?

It follows to ask myself, how do I trust God? Many of the obedience challenges I’ve had comprise a multitude of choices over a period of time. I’m happy to obey at the beginning of a new situation or challenge, but as time goes on, it can sometimes be harder to trust and obey.  I should think on his for awhile, in the quiet of the morning that God gave me.

I am working on teaching my children to trust and obey, but I’m also praying that God would help me to be a trustworthy parent, to obey him faithfully.Similar Posts:

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That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. You need to know that I fall short in many ways. I wrestle with selfishness as a mother. I am often reminded of areas where I fall short (i.e., sin). Yet, I really do want to please God. I am reading his word, and working on teaching it to my children. I want them to know how good God is. I think as I look over the last few years I can see spiritual growth. Yes, I do believe I am pleasing the Lord, because I am free to do right. It is an encouraging thought.

Here is the passage I’ve been thinking on. It speaks of my position in Christ:

 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. [this is a description of the Believer, not a condition. See verse 9!) For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. ⁶For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ⁷ Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. ⁸ So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
⁹ But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. ¹⁰ And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:1-9

Clearly, Paul is making a distinction here: God condemned sin. There is no condemnation for Christians. Even though we do sin, it has been paid for. The trick, as Paul says elsewhere in Romans, is to take sin seriously, even as we rest in joy that we can please God in spite of our sin.

If you are a believer, and you know of sin, you must make it right. But God is faithful to restore the fellowship we enjoy.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 6-9

There is no condemnation! Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. Strengthen your weak knees, self! Get up! Run! Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.Similar Posts:

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