Asbury & Asbury

Poetry and Music

2009-11-11T10:34:51+00:00

Manchester design company Music are smart people with great work. The type who get asked to do covers for Creative Review.

They got in touch over the summer asking if I'd like to write a Corpoetics-style poem to fill a guest slot on the home page of their website.

The only text I had to work with was their client list, which at the time looked something like this:

Allermuir Furniture Manufacturers
Bolton Council Carbon Footprint
Chester Performs
Chester Summer Music Festival
Ctrl.Alt.Shift
D&AD
Flip Flops
Flowerburger Records
Fruit Tree Books
Joly Good TV
Kevin Boniface
Matthew Beardsell Limited
MCFC CSR Report
MCFC Press
MCFC Stadium
Manchester Independent Economic Review
Place Space & Identity
Tamewater Developments
Where Are You? A Postman's Diary
Woodward-Kelly

The resulting verse isn't strictly a 'Corpoetic' as I've taken the liberty of adding some words and generally being looser with the whole thing. For some reason, I imagine it being read aloud by Ian McMillan.

15 wishes

I'd like to eat a flowerburger back to front
in a land where flip-flops leave no footprint.
I'd like to head woodward to water a fruit tree.
I'd like to review an identity
for MCFC, appear tame on TV,
and do joly well at D&AD.
I'd like to sell beards to a man named Matthew
and manage an independent economic review
of a girl called Kelly from Bolton Council.
I'd like to press for a postman's festival
to take place in Chester every summer.
I'd like to become part of the furniture
and have a front seat when Kevin performs
a stadium version of his CSR Report.
I'd like to have my own place and space,
change my name to Allermuir Boniface,
and live in Bolton – but then I'd like to shift
Bolton to nearer where Manchester is.
Given one last wish, I'd probably use it
to turn myself into a piece of Music.

Thanks to Craig and Anthony at Music for the invitation.

Copies of Corpoetics are available for £5 plus p&p, with all proceeds going to the National Literacy Trust.

Past posts

2009-11-06T09:15:00+00:00

This blog is a year old today. We thought we would mark the occasion by dusting down some of our greatest hits (and misses) from the last year.

This poem about lost brands went down well.

Corpoetics has enjoyed its year in the sun.

We can also draw horses. Sort of.

There have been sporadic outbreaks of Cloudy Language bringing mainly unsettled themes.

Could you tell the difference between a Fall song and a tax avoidance scheme?

The A-roads poster is still taking shape.

The search for John Hanna was good fun.

Songs For Animals is hibernating, but will rise again.

And our Failed Jokes seem to have died a death.

Oh, and this photo set the tone early on.

Thanks for reading, if you have been.

The Art of Persuasive Writing

2009-10-29T09:03:18+00:00

A good definition of copywriting is any form of writing designed to persuade you to do something (usually involving parting with money). The most common advice is to keep it brief, remember your target audience and have a clear 'ask'.

It turns out bank robbers are natural born copywriters. Banknotes365 is a brilliant collection of notes pushed threateningly across counters in banks around the world – all juxtaposed with photos of their authors.

It would make a great case study in a copywriting workshop. Here are a few examples:

Good, effective, precise – although possibly focusing too much on the negative.

A subtler approach – the threat is implied rather than stated, and the writer is keen to get his audience on side (please... thanks...)

Possibly the most creative of the bunch. The unconventional construction of the phrase "A dye pack will bring me back for your ass" lodges it in the mind successfully. "Do exactly what this says" would make a good all-purpose opening for almost any press advertisement.

This needs a good editor. Note the strange use of quotes around the word 'explode', which turns a literal threat into a more figurative one.

What's most striking and touching about the notes is their politeness, even in the briefest examples:

and

That last 'Thanks' almost makes you well up.

The blog is by Ken Habarta who has just brought out this book collecting all the notes together.

Buy a copy. Do it now.

Thanks to One Floor Up who mentioned this on Twitter.

UPDATE: This article is now on Creative Review, complete with comments.

Local copywriting for local people

2009-10-27T18:25:34+00:00

There seems to be an emerging trend for local dialect copywriting.

This blog mentioned the cockney cash machines a while back.

Now Spar has released a range of wine labels written in everything from Scouse to Geordie and Brummie.

So the Scouse Label talks about: "A totally boss bottle of Merlot which smells o' blackberry, choccie, a brew and toffees. Juicy and complex like, this bevey is top wi most scran 'specially me ma's scouse. Tellin ye, this is deffo a bevey that will leave youz and youz mates made up over yez Sayers pastie."

And the Somerset Label says: "Alright my luvver, eers one helluva Merlot. Be stinkin hummin a sivvies thar be bleddy ansome wi yaw croust or oggy. Purfect ta share wi yaw pardy as i' aiin ta eavy. Mygar be a purdy wine! Churs!"

No, I have no idea what that's about either.

The whole thing gets a pretty sniffy write-up in The Guardian – a bit harsh for what is really a bit of harmless fun.

That said, the local dialect does seem somewhat gratuitous in both projects. It's not as if the wines come from Liverpool or Somerset, and there's no real need for cash machines to speak cockney in what is now one of the most multicultural cities in the world.

It would be much better if the use of dialect actually bore some relation to the product itself – for example, a mug typically used for Yorkshire Tea might carry some copy in a Yorkshire accent. That kind of thing. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

It would be nice to hear of any other sightings of this trend in action – feel free to email or stick them in the comments.

UPDATE: The wine labels were featured on Jonathan Ross on 30 October – you can see it here for the next week or so (about 5 mins to 8 mins in). Imagine they'll shift a few bottles off the back of that.

Teatime is free time

2009-10-22T13:19:50+01:00

This morning, we took delivery of a very marvellous thing – a box of free goodies from the godlike people at Yorkshire Tea. No reason, apart from some friendly to-ing and fro-ing on Twitter, originally sparked off by mention of our Pentone Yorkshire mug. Plus, what might be construed as some shameless begging.

Thanks Yorkshire Tea. Not just for this. For everything.

PS: If you haven't seen them already, there are some great Yorkshire Tea ads featuring John Shuttleworth over here on Creative Review.

Tears of a clown

2009-10-16T13:53:57+01:00

Not sure, but I think that might be a tear I can see running down (up?) Kenny's face. Bidding on eBay ends in a matter of hours and so far he's not made quite the fortune he was hoping for.

Still time, of course. Yes, still time. Someone's bound to realise what a lovely addition he would make to any household. There are probably hundreds of people out there waiting for the right moment. There'll be a few zeroes after that price before you know it! Of course, there will! Chin up, Kenny!

Bid on Kenny here (quick!)

Read the background here

UPDATE: Bidding has now closed... at $11.61. Concluding thoughts and details of Kenny's new home will follow after a decent interval.