Ashley Joseph's

Girl Bait

2010-01-01T04:05:00.003+08:00

Normally,I'm not a fan of New Year resolutions.

But I think,I'll make an exception for 2010.

It appears,I've been living in a cave,on top of a mountain,on Mars,wooble.

I can't believe until today,Blackadder has not played a more important role in my life.

I resolve to watch,read and study British comedy/humour more.

So yeah,pass the fish and chips mate.

Her & Her

2009-12-31T16:32:00.003+08:00

Twirl and swirl
Rage and be still
Ink to paper
broken heart
Not a happily
ever after
yet a good tale
once more

Captain Black

2009-12-31T08:04:00.004+08:00

Purchased death
in a fancy box
Looked like candy
smelled of cherry
Ashes of life
the wind blows away

Reduce All Creation To Ash

2009-12-25T06:13:00.004+08:00

It's that time of the year again which for some reason gets me emo.

There are many people and things I should be grateful for.But as I reflect, I realise it's the negative stuff that refuses to go away.

Coming to university I thought, would have liberated me of certain prejudices and stereotypes.However, instead of this being the case,I've acquired new prejudices and new stereotypes and had old prejudices and stereotypes reinforced.

The only difference now after one semester, is that I can attempt to justify my negative perceptions of certain ethnicities and certain groups of people, better.

Misanthrope

Is what I'm becoming,I fear.

And it appears, I've good reason to become one.

Our happiness as human beings comes in relation to the misery of other human beings.

Take freedom for example.

In order for us to perceive our freedom,we have to view people who are not as free as us or have parts of their freedom suppressed.

e.g. : A woman living in the civilized world would see herself as having freedom as opposed to a woman living in a theocratic state.

Love is another sick joke.

In order for us to feel that feeling of being special and cared for we must view people whom the vast majority of society despise or doesn't even realise,exist.

And I'm talking about all forms of love.

Want to feel grateful for your loving family?

Look at someone who doesn't have one.

Want to feel grateful for your friends?

Look at someone who doesn't have any or who is treated badly by his.

Want to feel grateful that you're together with your special someone?

Look at someone who hasn't found their special someone.

Want to feel grateful for your god's love?

Look at the people you think won't be going to heaven with you or the people you hope, go to hell.

I suppose my arguments have major flaws in them and I hope that is the case.For my waning idealism is only being sustained by optimism.

Though there is one thing that I've learnt this semester, which might lead to my future redemption.I'm not sure why but something just gives me the feeling. this statement is important.

"The things we hate about other people, are the things we hate in ourselves."

Merry Xmas everyone :D

Apu's Hours

2009-12-23T07:49:00.004+08:00

I want to run.
Run, away from nothing.
Run, to everything.
Run, till my feet are sore
and I won't know where I am.

I want to fight.
Fight, for a cause.
Fight, with someone.
Fight, for fighting's sake.

I want to scream.
Scream, because my ears are cold.
Scream, into the the dark.
Scream, because I can.

I want to dream.
Of cloudy days,
of cloudless nights
and purple lightning bolts.

Belladonna

2009-12-17T09:18:00.004+08:00

Power and mystery
you dreamt of
behind that impish smile
has tied you to
a kitchen chair
Draw she will
the
Hallelujah
from your lips

River

2009-12-17T08:51:00.003+08:00

As the days fade
one after another
into each other
Tomorrow it will
feel like yesterday
Again

Ghosts Of Winter

2009-12-14T03:24:00.004+08:00

Ghosts of memories forgotten
who howl for being forsaken
return alive this summer night

Shine

2009-12-13T14:08:00.003+08:00

Found this while blog hopping :

Initially,I was like,so what?

I mean, it's just a fictional story for a TV ad.

But then,I went googling for "deaf violinists".

And I'm ashamed I did that.

Why did I doubt?

Am I starting to become less idealistic?

Therefore,I'm glad,I found many websites which prove not only are there deaf violinists but deaf musicians, period.

Kudos to the people who made this ad.

Really reinforces the point,some geniuses are forged by blood,sweat and tears.

It's Over

2009-12-11T13:38:00.004+08:00

The winner of the Murdoch Bloggers Competition has been announced.

Congrats to Jess for winning.

Kacy,Jon and Ben did an awesome job as well.

And it looks like, I got some loot too :D

I'd like to thank the organisers of this competition for giving me this opportunity to grow as a blogger.

I'd really like to thank the people and friends who have supported me either verbally or through their actions.

Also thanks to this competition,I've made new friends,gained publicity for my blog and been made aware of the things I need to change.

So thank you to all these people...oh and...you too :D

At Least

2009-11-30T03:30:00.003+08:00

Twirl slowly
and look in the mirror.
Shouldn't have eaten,
those poached peaches.

Twirl faster now
and look in the mirror
Wish for longer,
daintier legs

Stay still
and stare hard.
If you had boobs,
the hem would
swish above the knees.

Turn around
and tilt head back.
Bubble butt!

Understood To Be Misunderstood

2009-11-30T02:03:00.005+08:00

Songs of victory
for battles never fought
Faces of gloom
to contain absent sorrow
Masks more real
than shells of emptiness.

Winter Kissed Summer

2009-11-30T01:09:00.006+08:00

Golden glitter on
black dress shimmer
Moon lit church
with saints bitter
Bronze tinged beauty
I kissed you

Love And Fresh Air

2009-11-29T14:17:00.007+08:00

Note : Final assignment for Murdoch's Blogger competition. In this one,we are to take a quiz,create a chalk outline and fill it with the results of the quiz,and blog about what those traits mean to us.

According to the quiz :

And here's the scene of the crime :

At this point,I guess,I've to explain what being a visionary,being creative,being compassionate and being practical mean to me.

Honestly,I'm stumped.

I suppose one of my dreams for the future could be considered visionary. I want to make the world a better place but I've not quite figured out how.It's together with the bit about me being compassionate. I try to involve myself in community involvement projects as frequently as I can.Be nice to the people around and shit like that.

As for creativity...wow,ain't I just oozing creativity right now?

The practical side of me is screaming,"How the hell do I define what these traits mean for me?"

And I realise,I can't.

When opportunities,present themselves for me to demonstrate these traits,sometimes I rise up to the challenge and sometimes I don't.

On A Full Moon Night

2009-11-26T02:25:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep. It could be because my drunk flatmate showed me a generous portion of her ass or perhaps because of all the various thoughts swirling in my head right now.

FDN exam on Friday,Why do academics have to write in language which is incomprehensible to the general population?,final blogging assignment on Sunday,room move on Monday,all my flatmates and most of my friends are leaving the village for the summer,need to get a job...

Thus there comes certain moments in a man's life when he realizes,he feels like sharing nuggets of wisdom he has gained from life.With that ~~ass~~ in mind,here goes :

1. Life is random.Just like everything else in the universe.

But what marks the most significant difference from one person's life to another's,is the perception of these random events and the choices we make towards them

2. Everything is subjective.There are no absolutes.

3. "I don't know.","It depends." and "I would like to know."

I find myself using these 3 phrases more and more.And I feel liberated doing so.

4. Everyone is prejudiced.

It's just a matter of which prejudices they entertain.

5. People are control freaks.

And everyone has a 'God complex' to some degree. If they could restructure the world according to what is 'right' for them, they would do so.Even if it means infringing on the freedom of other people.

It's also the reason why people get so agitated when they see other people who don't conform to social norms,don't follow what is 'normal',what is 'acceptable'.

6. You can't totally, not give a fuck.

As much as we value the ideal of not giving a fuck about social norms or for that matter going around with the attitude of not giving a fuck about anything at all,doing so would make life too complicated.

The trouble is finding the balance of not giving too much of a fuck about what other people think and giving a bit of a fuck about what other people think. Also knowing when to give a fuck and when not to give a fuck is crucial.

This last point I think, is vital to personal happiness.

All right, that's enough pseudo-philosophy for the witching hour.

My flatmate has started rambling about how much she digs lesbians and I think,I'd like to listen very carefully to her.

Mayan Mornings

2009-11-25T07:58:00.003+08:00

Have you ever had those mornings,where you wake up but your body refuses to get into the simplest of vertical positions,like siting upright?

Then in order to coax your body out of its sluggishness,you do the Mayan sun dance horizontally across your bed. You know like,starting on the left side of the bed you curl into a fetal position.Next,you roll onto your belly followed by rolling to the right in a fetal position.

But I'm really glad,I woke up early today.

Because this finally arrived in the mail :

Thank you very much,Geraldine Cheng :D

Finally mail for me,which isn't a bill or bank statements reminding me,I really need to find a job soon.

Yup,this certainly made my day.

There's just something about reading a beautifully handwritten letter as patches of sunlight stream through your window.

It brought back to mind,the days when I used to think having a pen pal would be cool and stuff like that.

Ms.Cheng,you're gonna have to wait a while for my reply.The letter was a delightful distraction but unfortunately,I've to get back to studying for a paper on Friday morning.

And the more important(real) reason why it's gonna be delayed, is because my handwriting makes the ink in my pen want to commit suicide.

2009-11-23T15:20:00.003+08:00

Note: This is the final assignment I submitted for Creative Writing.I'd like to thank Mun Yoke,Jon and Yeoh for helping me out with this.Also,I'd like to thank The Killers (Romeo & Juliet,Tidal Wave),Kylie Minogue (Speakerphone) and Shakira's She-Wolf album for keeping me in the right mood :D

Korty's emerald waves churn restlessly and white sand is being scattered everywhere. For some reason I can't smell the sweet mist or hear the smooth melody of waves crashing.

The cool breeze has entangled itself in her hair and as she brushes hair away from her face, I can't help but think how beautifully delicate she is.

"Are you okay? You look pretty tense."

She seems pretty concerned.

"Nah,nah, I've just been thinking..."

"About?"

"Liz, I'm at my happiest every time I have you with me. All I think about is how much I miss you when you're not with me. Liz I think we should-"

Her hand frees itself from mine.

"Should what?"

"-we should be together! Liz I know you feel the same way, Liz I..."

Her eyes narrow.

"I want more."

"You want more?"

"Yes."

She looks down slowly and shakes her head.

"No,no,why are you complicating things? You're being selfish."

Selfish?

"You are accusing me, of being selfish?"

"Who's the one who insists that we do all this sneaking around so Jim doesn't find out about..."

Her eyes widen and her face grows taut. She's daring me to go on.

"Liz," I hesitate.

"I'm just tired of eating by myself. I'm tired of waking up without you beside me. I'm tired of not having your hands in mine. I'm tired of not holding you. "

She looks up into my eyes, her face impassive.

"Boo hoo hoo, so you're lonely without me."

I feel my jaw tighten. I really want to throttle this woman. How can she say something like that so casually?

"Liz, I'm not some toy, you drag out of the toy cupboard only when you're feeling bored!"

She snorts.

"My,my,my, aren't we getting our panties in a knot?"

"Look Ash," she points at the wedding band on her index finger.

"I am a married woman. I love Jim-"

"You know that's not true. You're not fully happy with him," I interrupt.

"-I love Jim," she repeats forcefully. Annoyed.

"What we had was just for fun and I thought we both understood that. Guess I was wrong. Jim may not always be able to satisfy me but I'm not an ungrateful bitch to desert him after all these years of him taking care of me."

What we had?

"I can take care of you!"

"You? I'm sorry but I seriously doubt you can provide for me the way Jim does."

My chest feels tight. I take in a deep breath involuntarily.

She sighs.

"Why did you have to complicate it?"

"Ash, I really like you a lot but now it seems this is just not going to work out. We should stop seeing each other."

She's glaring into my soul with those indifferent eyes.

"Uh-uh-but..." I'm still reeling.

She's not really interested in what I've to say any more. She smiles a lopsided smile and walks away from me.

That's what I've been doing most of the time she's been with me.

Watching her back.

The first time I met her, she was bending over the Larkspurs at Anne's.

"You look too young for nostalgia," I informed her.

If she was startled in any way, it wasn't revealed anywhere in her lithe form.

She turned around and squinted at me mischievously.

"Why do you say that?"

"Larkspurs supposedly evoke the care-free days of summer we remember from our youth, " I said matter-of-factly.

"And you think, I'm not old enough to indulge in some nostalgia? I'm pushing close to thirty you know."

"Thirty? You gotta be shitting me! I would say you're twenty-three at the most."

She radiated.

"My,my, quite a sweet talker aren't you?"

"Only when I'm trying to seduce the most beautiful of flowers," I remember hoping that had come off smooth.

"Oh my and a bold charming young man to boot!"

She was so easy to flirt with.

She made it easy to flirt with her.

Then she dropped a bombshell on me.

"You'll make any single woman out there very happy, if you flatter her this much."

"I'm married," she pointed at her wedding band.

Absolute dejection would be a gross understatement.

As I stood there, thinking of how I could salvage the situation and more importantly my ego, she threw a bone my way.

"You know, I think I might want to get some Daffodils but then I think, I might not have enough to pay for the Larkspurs."

"I'll get those for you," I offered quickly, grateful for my salvation.

"Here you go," I handed her the Daffodils.

She grinned and let her hands rest on my hand.

"You know what Daffodils evoke?" she asked.

"Uhm..I'm not quite sure"

"Friendship."

Her eyes twinkled at that.

It started off innocuously enough. She'd send me text messages in the morning and at night we'd talk on the phone for hours. We'd go from philosophy to the funny shapes we’d see in clouds. My tongue was never tied when it came to Liz. I didn't have to think of what to say. The right words, I just felt my way through them all.

Maybe it was because our conversations were in hushed whispers or because we both knew, Jim might find her on the porch saying things that should have only lovingly been spoken to him. Or maybe it was because she'd always be the first to end conversation with a hurried “good night!”

"It's been a while since I've been to the beach," she remarked during one of our soulfully long phone conversations.

I seized the opportunity.

"We could go to Korty tomorrow around late noon. The weather around noon is perfect and Korty has crystal clear blu-no-turquoise water!"

Korty became our escape every Thursday. We'd watch seagulls skim waves and marvel at how freely they flew.

"I'm glad I met you. I don't why but it's so easy to talk to you. I just wish sometimes Jim wasn't so uptight about everything..." she confessed on one such occasion.

"Burden all your sorrows unto me, for I am Ash, Wonder Counselor!"

"Wonder Counselor eh? Maybe. But stay from stand-up comedy my dear happy pill," she retorted

Happy Pill.

I played that part to the hilt.

How could I not?

A lonely beautiful woman with pensive eyes reaching out for something.

Someone.

Every time I held her, all I wanted to do was to suffocate all that loneliness. In the meetings between our lips, I tried to kiss away all her pain.

Jim doesn't deserve her.

Only I could protect her from everything that made her sad, I decided.

Yeah, when I see her this Thursday, I'll tell her how I feel.

Five months passed before I mustered my resolve and God knows how many times, I rehearsed what I'd say to her. Hearing what I thought she'd say to me.

I watch the wind tease the hem of her sundress as she gets further and further away from me.

Sapphire

2009-11-12T02:22:00.002+08:00

In spirits we indulge
to forget
regrets on ceilings
and lovers lost
till darkness claims sight.

Hot Damn!

2009-11-11T13:05:00.009+08:00

Ever wondered what you'd look like with the Amy Winehouse look or the Ashley's Tidsdale's?

Well wonder no more!

Check out Daily Makeover!

They've got many different hairstyles,cosmetics,accessories,celebrity looks
and so much more you can try out virtually.

All you need to get started is,a nice frontal facial photo and follow their simple instructions to trace your face.

However there are some things I don't like about Daily Makeover. The first being, you can only upload one photo and there doesn't seem to be a way to change it once you upload it.

Secondly, a lot of the really really cool stuff is restricted to the paying members.Oh well, they've got to earn their daily bread and butter.

My last gripe with the website, is that the stuff for guys is significantly limited compared to the stuff for the ladies.Same as the real world where everyone assumes guys don't shop,etc,etc.

I leave you now with some looks I was messing around with.

♥ Writing

2009-11-08T15:57:00.002+08:00

Note: This post is my submission for Murdoch's Blogger competition's 4th assignment.In this one we are to blog about " If you could make up a job to fit your passion, what would it be?"

This should be an easy one for me right? I should just yell out "Writing" and end of post.

But life's not supposed to be that easy and people want to see the monkey do a little jig.It's just really painfully ironic right now that I've to describe why I'm so passionate about writing.

Considering once I'm done with this blogging assignment,I've got to get back to work on writing a 2000 word essay.Yipee writing!

Firstly writing to me, is The Embodiment Of Freedom.

Secondly.."It's something that stirs from within the depths of one's heart. Anyone can write."

Doesn't mean it comes easy though.The fact that I'm quoting from previous posts, kind of illustrates the point of it not being easy.Or it illustrates that I really should get back to that essay soon.

So yeah,I'm writing's number 1 fan-bitch.Okay maybe not academic writing or writing news stories.I'd rather do stuff like creative writing,columns,humour writing and blogging.

A dream job for me would be: "Writer-Entertainer" or is that "Wriner" or ""Entertainter". I like "Entertainter" for some reason.

But till the dream comes true and I go big,I'll keep pursuing all sorts of writing opportunities. Hopefully,someone will realise how awesome my writing is,give me a house,lots of cash,free products and send me around the world.

It's gonna be a long while before that happens isn't it?

'Tis Almost Christmas

2009-11-04T20:49:00.003+08:00

Six cinnamon doughnuts
One cup of day-old milk
Three times a day
Little wonder
I'm farting Christmas.

Tomorrow Will Be Awesome

2009-11-04T20:11:00.004+08:00

A pirate in a glass house,
with starlit rum to toast
this night's sorrows
and tomorrow's smiles.

I Want To Write A Story

2009-10-26T13:00:00.002+08:00

Fatigued bloodshot eyes and a pounding in my head. All because I want to write a story. Yes,more than anything else right now,I want to write a story.

The pounding is turning into a drumming.

Please dear Muse, give me something...nay...anything, to work with!

She's ignoring me. She's been ignoring me the whole week. Looks like she took off to Tokyo.

Dull lemon walls, dim orange lighting and Spartan furnishings.

Not really much to inspire a man in here.

Perhaps, I'll walk out into the garden. It's spring after all.

The wind is howling as usual but he doesn't really have much to say. He never really does. I think, he just likes to boast about how much chaos he causes in his wake. I'll ignore him. I always do. Except on hot sunny days.

Come little flowers, talk to me.

I'll tell the whole world of your tales.

What?

This spring has been chilly?

How the heck, am I suppose to craft a story out of that?

No wants to read about the weather. It's like remarking, " What a pleasant day it is, " on a first date.

Argh !!!

This is no good. I'll just have to trudge back to my room.

I'm on the Internet. Wait,how did this happen?

I need to write a story,I can't be wasting...

Chocolate mud cakes are selling for $2 at Coles!

Mmmm...chocolate mud cake.

That's what Mia's Facebook status says.

Honest, Emma.

Why don't you go check it out for yourself, if you don't believe me?

You know Mia is always on the look out for deals like these. Part of being a struggling university student I suppose.

Look, I've no time to argue with you here on Facebook, I've a story that needs writing. I've got to go.

" Bye! "

Oh look, Jess has uploaded some new pictures. I swear she's getting hotter, as she grows older.

They grow up so fast these days.

She used to be such an awkward teenage girl.

And now...she's a woman.

I feel like, I'm forgetting something.

Something really important.

Aiyee!

Right,back to what's important.

Type, " emo girls " and click on Google images.

Nah, this is not what I want.

Perhaps if I change it to, " hot emo girls "

Nope, not what I want either.

" sexy emo girls "

Bingo!

But my oh my, why are they so young?

I feel like such a paedophile now.

Wait.

There's one here who's 23.

Phew, dilemma resolved.

There's an annoying buzzing to my left.

God damn!

Why must he call now?

Doesn't he know, I'm trying to write a story?

" Yo, Ash! " Jon's perpetually cheerful voice greets me.

" Hey man, what's up? " I almost shout.

"What are you doing, man?"

" Uhhh...doing work? "

" Have you eaten? Man,I'm so hungry... "

" No man,I've not eaten. I don't know when I'll eat. Perhaps after I'm done with this. Bye man,I'll talk to you later, " I snap my Samsung shut.

Cue stomach growling.

Shut up! We'll eat when we're done. Didn't you hear what I told Jon?

Damn Johnny boy.

He's broken my line of thought.

Maybe a shower will do me some good.

One last glance at the Emo girls.

There's something disturbingly alluring about this look that combines innocence and sexuality into one.

Ok,that's enough Ash.

Go shower.

Yes a hot shower to purify my mind and to achieve an inner Zen of mind, is exactly what I need.

Shower done.

Great, now my hair smells like coconut milk and my skin reeks of Chamomile.

Drummer boy is still going all out for Baby Jesus on my temples.

I feel more relaxed though.

So I suppose, I should get back to thinking of what to write about.

Hmmmm, should I write another story of unrequited love or should I delve into the mad bits of my mind?

You've written too many sappy stories of how you keep failing miserably with your love interests.

You're not going to grow as a writer, if you keep writing the same kind of things.

Insanity wins the vote then.

Also inspiration drawn from the depths of madness is easy to pass off as creativity.

Yeah, it'll be easy going on from here on.

Mama always says Papa's side of the family has a few loose screws.

And Papa says Mama's side has the whole toolkit missing.

Since they turned out alright...more or less, it stands to reason...

Come on recessive genes, do your thing!

I really want to write a story.

I need to write a story.

Martin will be very cross, if I don't submit this assignment by Friday.

Murdoch Cottage

2009-10-25T18:48:00.007+08:00

Note : This is due at 5pm and it's 4.57pm right now. Why do I always do this to myself? Anyway this is my half-assed attempt at the 3rd assignment for the Murdoch Bloggers Competition. We are supposed to share 10 random things about Murdoch.

Oh yeah,once again these are my views alone and may not represent Murdoch accurately.

1. We have horses on campus!

We have other animals as well.But screw them. All girls love horses and the only thing that trumps horses, are ponies.The retarded little midgets appear on campus from time to time as well. So if you're a girl and you're thinking which uni is right for you...remember, you ♥ horses.

2. The food at Asian Food Caravan is so good - even Mr. Quenda approves!

3. The prices of things in vending machines around campus are obscene!

You'd think they'd be more affordable.

Come on Murdoch,student prices for students!

4. Murdoch has some of the sweetest skating spots.

The spot featured in the picture is near the Chiropractic Clinic.So no worries about breaking a bone or 2.

5. Murdoch is concerned about my health.Aww ain't that sweet?

6. People,people,people!

Granted, I don't know everyone in Murdoch yet(or well enough) that I can claim all of them indeed are awesome. However the ones that I do currently know,lead me to believe university life is indeed da bomb.

All right boys and girls,the end.

It's against my religion to come up with lists of 10.

And Murdoch respects diversity right?

Idealistic,Stoned And High

2009-10-14T22:09:00.007+08:00

After talking to and reading the blogs of my friends who are in university, I gather most of them are experiencing the true joys of university life.

Of course I've no doubt,I might have contributed to some part of their stress when they see how carefree I am. You are going to the library to do assignments and study? Ok,go ahead have fun. I'll just carry on playing Urban Rivals and maybe go skate after that.

Anyway all you stressed out people,I seriously recommend you listen to some Bob Marley. His songs have the right dosage of idealism that I feel every university student should have.

And no,it's not all about the weed.