I did, however, manage to make myself work out last night, mainly because I felt guilty for the amount of candy and cookies I at yesterday. The work out was hard, but afterwards I felt fantastic. I got that nice endorphin rush that exercise gives you, and it reminded me that yeah, I do enjoy this. It’s not a chore. It’s something I do for me. So I thought to myself that perhaps my goal for this year shouldn’t be just to drop another 20 pounds. No, I think it’s going to be to become more physically fit. If you recall, the reason I started exercising last year was to help speed up my weight loss. When I started doing it, I realized that being active is really enjoyable. Now I want to focus on being active for the sake of being active, not simply use it as a means to an end. I’ve found that for me the best motivation for exercising is to have a specific goal that I’m working toward. This year I have two. One, to run a half marathon. Pretty ambitious, I know, but I think I can pull it off. I found one here in Arkansas that’s in December so I’ll have plenty of time to train. Two, to pass my MST for roller derby. I’ve been taking a little break because getting to practice in Cabot was starting to make my home life stressful. Once we move, I plan to start back up with a vengeance. And I want to pass that darn test! Speaking of roller derby, I skated outside for the first time Sunday and it wasn’t too bad. Now if I can just make myself do that more often I won’t feel like a total noob when I start going to practice again.

Now onto my resolution: getting more organized. It’s pretty vague, so let me clarify. First I want to establish a daily routine that allows me to keep up with daily chores (dishes and laundry, specifically), exercise, and keeping the house 15 minutes away from “guest ready,” meaning if I had 15 minutes notice that someone was coming over I wouldn’t be terribly embarrassed by the state of my house. Now that doesn’t mean I want my house to look perfect at all times, just mostly clean and de-cluttered. Secondly, I want to de-clutter my life. I’m frequently overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have in my house, and I’m in a mood to purge. Thirdly, I want to organize my cabinets and drawers and all those places where stuff just gets unceremoniously tossed when it’s in the way. Fourthly, I want to organize my finances. I’ve been letting them get out of hand the past few years and it’s really time to take action.

So far I’ve been somewhat successful at establishing a daily routine. For the past 4 days I have been doing my dishes and laundry daily. I’ve also been making my bed each morning; such a little thing that yields big reward. I’m amazed at how much better I feel about my bedroom when the bed is made. It just looks so much nicer! And it only takes 5 minutes max to make it up each morning. Having my sink clear and most, if not all, of the dishes clean makes cooking so much easier. Each night I “swish & swipe” my bathroom sink, counter, and toilet, which takes about five minutes, and I have a clean bathroom every day. I’ve been trying to think of it as making preparations rather than cleaning. I’m preparing my kitchen for the next time I need to cook. I’m preparing my clothes to be worn again. I’m organizing things in preparation for the next time I need them. For me, at least, changing the way I think about chores makes me more likely to do them. If I can stay positive about it, I’ll get it done quickly and gladly rather than dragging my feet and sulking about it. I’ve been trying to keep my daily to do list realistic and not beating myself up if I don’t get every little thing done. When I worked for Verizon they had a little motto that I really liked: “Our best was good enough for today, but tomorrow we’ll do better.” It reminds me that I did the best I could at that particular time but I can always improve. Right now the plan is to keep plugging along at the routine and work on a big project each weekend. This weekend is baby free (thanks, Dad!) so I’m planning on finally making progress on the cubby shelves for Lex’s room. I really hope I can get it finished. *fingers crossed*

Check out my organizing Pinterest board here for some ideas I plan on implementing, and please share any other ideas that have worked for you. I need all the help I can get!

Goals for 2012

Since the first of December I’ve been frantically trying to make a little something for everyone on my list this year. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do for everyone that would be appreciated and not take a whole lot of time. Until, that is, my good friend Mandy brought me a book called Creepy Cute Crochet. I’d seen this book before and thought it looked pretty cool, but I haven’t bought any craft books in a while since they tend to sit unappreciated on the shelves for the most part. Mandy had perfect timing with this, though. It has the cutest little creepy critters, and there is a wide variety of them, too.

Since I got it this weekend, I’ve already finished one and gotten about 90% finished with another and about 50% finished with a third. That’s why I love crochet– it shapes up so quickly! I also love following other peoples’ patterns because I get to learn new techniques. If you’re a Facebook friend or you follow me on Instagram, you’ve already seen these, but here they are again.

My first completed creature, a ninja! The hubs has already requested one for himself.

The second creature I’ve been working on, a Day of the Dead gal. All she needs is a face and her crown permanently attached.

Here’s my first batch of eyes for the creatures and a couple of button eyes for my fairy doll. I wouldn’t have considered making eyes from polymer clay if I hadn’t read about it in Creepy Cute Crochet. They’re easy to make and attach (with glue instead of sewing). I would use safety eyes if I were making something for Lex, though, as these could pose a choking hazard. Since the recipients of these gifts aren’t prone to sticking inedible foreign objects in their mouths out of curiosity, I think we’ll be ok.

Here are the button eyes attached. I used a silver embroidery floss to sew them on, which I think looks pretty cool, almost like a glint in the eye. The face did not end up looking the way I originally envisioned, but I still like it. Kinda creepy but also cute. I’m sure Ophelia will love it.

Ophelia is a girl after my own heart when it comes to making stuff. She’s thinks it’s super cool. Last weekend she was upset because she was bored, and to cheer her up, I agreed to help her sew something. She chose a teddy bear. We looked for a pattern online, and decided on this one. However, you had to buy it. It looked pretty easy to figure out, though, so I winged it. The result, while not exactly the pattern online, was very cute and floppy.

Not bad for my first teddy bear pattern attempt, eh? And Ophelia did help with it. She stuffed an arm and a leg, and she helped sew up the straight parts on the sewing machine (with a little help from yours truly). She also chose the fabrics we would use and the buttons for the eyes. Now that I look at the inspiration bear, I see that I shouldn’t have sewn a line between the body and the head because Ophelia’s bear has no neck support (oops). But it was still a success, I think. Lex also liked the bear and fought over it with Ophelia a bit. It was pretty cute.

Speaking of Lex, I’ve barely started on his Christmas present. There is so much to do in the next 12 days! I’m starting to feel the familiar stress of the holidays. *Deep breath* Nothing to do but keep moving forward!

Good luck and godspeed with all your Christmas crafting!

Those wild things are definitely the most complex things I’ve ever crocheted, and I learned a lot just from making them. It’s like something clicked in my head and I suddenly understood the construction of crochet patterns. When I first learned how to crochet, I was so amazed at how people could create patterns for all kinds of different things. I guess some people are more spatially gifted than I am and it comes naturally to them. As for myself, I have a hard time visualizing how things fit together without having something physical in front of me. So constructing these little creatures with all of their different details helped me understand how different stitches and increasing and decreasing make different 3-D shapes. It’s really cool.

Because of my new understanding of crochet, I have been inspired to make my own original patterns. See, when I showed people the wild things, they almost all said I should sell them online. I explained that I could not because the pattern’s author expressly asked that people who use her pattern not sell the products. But if I create my own things, I can sell not only the things I make but also the patterns themselves. So then there’s only the question of what to make.

The hubs and I had a brainstorm on the way home from work one day. He’s a web developer and works a lot with a platform called Drupal. The  mascot/logo is a little blue drop of water with a face:

Kinda cute, right? Well he’s going to DrupalCon in the spring in Portland, and he suggested that I crochet some Drupal drops to sell or give away at DrupalCon. I agreed and started working on drafting a pattern. After only a little bit of frogging and cursing, I was successful. When the hubs posted a picture of his on Facebook, a friend immediately bought 3. So now I’m busy cranking out these little guys:

Aren’t they cute? And they’re fun to throw. Soon I’ll have a shop up (powered by Drupal of course), and any other Drupal nerds will be able to order them. If you’re interested, you can email me at ashleyflesouras at gmail dot com.

I just recently finished making my second from scratch crochet creation- a doll for Ms. Ophelia, my step-daughter. It’s my handmade contribution for her Christmas this year since she just loved the little Wild Thing dolls I made for Lex. When finished she’ll be a fairy with pointed ears. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve already seen a couple of pics. I’m afraid she looks a bit creepy here without any hair:

But look now–awesome magenta curly hair!

I really like making doll hair. It’s so gratifying. Now she needs some eyes, a mouth and ears. Oh, yeah, and some clothes. I think I’m going to sew them rather than crochet because honestly I don’t like the way crochet clothes look in general. I think they’d be too bulky on this little lady.

I want to make a bunch of different versions of this doll, some male and some female. I was inspired by Waldorf style dolls and by CraftyisCool’s designs. I wanted to blend the two and add my own style to make something unique, and I think once I’m finished I will have achieved that.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. That and steadfastly not exercising. >.<

I’m not sure why I tend to get into these slumps. Maybe I’ve lost sight of my goal. I’ve been thinking, “Hey, it’s close enough. You can stop here. No one’s going to notice those 4 extra pounds.” But then I think, “Come on! It’s only 4 more pounds! Power through it!” Ugh. It seems so stupid to give up when I’m so close to reaching my goal, but I like food too much! I think maybe I’ve had enough of a respite now to where I can get back on track.

I had a different experience this time when I veered off my dieting path. I didn’t want to stuff my face with desserts or fattening foods like I used to want to do. I’d surreptitiously eat them but made a mental note that I would need to be extra good in the future. And I would usually eat less than a normal serving size. So I think that Weight Watchers has taught me how to watch what I eat, even if I’m indulging. I don’t mindlessly snack anymore or guess at how many calories/points are in a food. I know how many points most of my favorite foods are and I let that guide me. I know what kinds of snacks to eat and default to fruit (thank goodness for bananas!). It still feels like I’m treading dangerous water, though. It’s all too easy to slip back into eating sweets whenever they’re available or to uncontrollably nibble bits of cake when you’re decorating a birthday cake (ahem).

I have not been tracking my food for the last week and a half, though. Terrible, I know. I have been sticking more or less to the way I’ve gotten used to eating on Weight Watchers, though, just with a few more indulgences. I also haven’t been running or doing my work-outs. I have been doing my roller derby, so at least I’m getting some exercise. My excuse is that, aside from my recent weight loss apathy, I’ve been really busy getting ready for Lex’s 2nd birthday party, which we had on Sunday. (It went really well, and I was very happy with how my decorations turned out. Hopefully I’ll have pictures to share with you soon.) Now that that’s over, I need to get back into my exercise routine.

I have tried for the last few weeks to get up early (at 5:00 am) and do my workout before Lex gets up. I have failed each time except maybe twice. So it’s back to nights after Lex is in bed. I also think I’m ready to start running again. At roller derby practice on Sunday, we did our timed laps and I was very much out of breath before I got finished. AND my time was a lot slower than last time. Of course, I also fell three times so that was part of it. But still. I feel really out of shape now and I don’t want to lose all that endurance that I worked hard to build up. So I’m just going to have to bite the bullet, bundle up and start running at night again. I think I also need to officially sign up for my next 5K so I have a real goal to work toward.

Thanksgiving is definitely going to be a challenge. I’m determined not to overeat and to limit my desserts. I don’t like being too full, and I feel like I’ve matured to the point where the taste of the food is not worth that bloated uncomfortable feeling you get when you eat too much. I plan to eat slowly and savor each thing. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

Starting Weight: 158

Current Weight: 143

Goal Weight: 139

We also practiced more jumping, and I’m getting better at it. Soon I’ll be brave enough to try jumping the little cones instead of just the lines. Then we worked on the dreaded backwards skating. I got some help from Evie Duzzit and seemed to be doing much better. A lot of it is getting used to using muscles I didn’t even know were there. I’m still working on getting the movements for backwards skating down, but I’m getting there. I used either the wall or Evie for support the whole time but I’m sure soon I’ll be able to do it on my own.

In case you were planning on coming to the next bout which was supposed to be this Saturday evening, it’s been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. But there will be plenty of bouts next season! And CARD (Central Arkansas Roller Derby) has a bout that same day at Skate World in Little Rock. Go support your local roller derby!

You’ll never guess what I learned to do at practice last week– jumps! Yes, I mean skating along and then jumping up with both feet in the air and then landing. Maybe that’s not such a big deal to you, but for me, it was pretty cool. I busted my ass on my first attempt (just as I was sure I would) but that was the only time I fell during that drill. Most people jumped over the little cone things but I did not get that brave. I jumped over the line painted on the track. Baby steps.

We worked on our crossovers again, and I can almost do them without fear of falling down. I also tried to give an outside assist for the first time and immediately fell on knees and ass and elbows. I really had to laugh at myself with that one. My T-stops are getting better and so are my plow stops. Slowly but surely I’m getting closer to those Minimum Skills Requirements.

We did a drill where we practiced our falls, and it was the most tiring of the night. We would be skating and suddenly hear which fall to do followed by a whistle. Falling down and getting back up over and over will wear. you. out! BUT, I was able to do a freakin’ rock star fall! And not just once, but several times. It seems that the more unexpected it is, the easier it is for me to do, which proves that my problem is over thinking. I have noticed the same thing with pretty much everything in roller derby. I have to stop plotting how to do the thing and just let my body do it. It’s really weird.

We also worked on a little bit of edging, which I am terribly awkward at. I was told that I need to focus more on staying low so that’s what I will do. I need to do more leg strengthening exercises so that it will be easier to keep that low derby stance.

On Monday and especially Tuesday I was very sore. I fell awkwardly on my skate at one point and hurt my left ankle and butt at the same time. Left a nice little bruise on my rump. Then there were the other few times I fell flat on my butt. This is why we learn how to fall correctly. When we were learning baseball slides, I bruised my left upper thigh/lower hip area. As I’ve said before, I have just resigned myself to being sore the day after roller derby practice. Ok, I’m done whining now.

Mark your calendars, everyone! GRITS is having Mash-up on November 17th. A Mash-up means that skaters from local teams will combine and form 2 teams, in this case black and yellow, and play each other. It’s at the UALR Fieldhouse. Doors open at 4:30 and the bout starts at 5:00. I’m going to make every effort to be there. Most likely that means Lex will be with me, which means I’ll probably be doing more toddler chasing than derby watching. Oh, well. Come out and support your local roller derby girls!

Last Sunday’s practice was really great. I got to carpool with one of my teammates, Slameron Diaz, which was awesome. We had a lot of fresh meat in attendance so the coach decided to make it a fresh meat focused practice. This was my first practice with the coach, Dilliverence, (she wasn’t at the first one I went to), and I like her a lot. She’s very engaging, encouraging and funny. That’s one thing that I love about roller derby: everyone is super supportive and helpful. They tell you what you’re doing wrong but in a helpful kind of way.

We worked on basic skills like one knee falls and proper skating form. We also worked on rock star falls (where you fall on both knees and slide forward like a rock star) which always kick my butt. I don’t know what it is but I have a lot of trouble getting the form correct. More often than not I fall on both knees simultaneously, which is quite painful even through knee pads. You’re supposed to fall on one knee and then the other but it happens so quickly that it looks like both at the same time. I can’t quite get the timing down. So, yeah, I got a nice bruise at the top of my left shin. It’s healing quite nicely, though.

We also worked on our T-stops, which I’ve had trouble with in the past. We figured out that I was not getting down low enough and once I started getting in proper derby stance, my T-stop improved significantly. It could still use some work but it’s much better than it was.

At the end of practice we started learning how to skate backwards. Let me tell you, I was dreading this. I mean, I just got used to skating forwards and now they want me to skate backwards? Some girls seemed to take to it pretty naturally. I was not one of them. I could not do it without someone holding my hands in the front for stability. As much as I hate doing things that I’m not very good at, there was nothing to do but try it and then try it again. I know it’s just something I’ll have to work on and will get it eventually. The only good thing about learning how to skate backwards is that when I fall, I’m more likely to fall forward on my pads rather than backwards on my butt. Although I did manage to fall on my butt once while doing it.

Last Friday I ordered some outdoor wheels for my skates. I was so excited to be able to go outside and practice! Then, they arrived and I discovered, much to my dismay, that the wheels came in a 4-pack, not an 8-pack. Grrr. In my defense, the product description did not say how many wheels came in an order. I assumed it would be 8 because the price was very similar to that on another site which advertised an 8-pack. I sent them back immediately and will be ordering from the other site tomorrow.

In other news, GRITS will now be holding regular Tuesday practices in Conway. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to go to all of them because of Mr. Lex, but I’m happy to have the option of a local practice, too. I’m going to try to get some practice in this weekend before official practice, even if it’s just in the kitchen or on the driveway, which is fairly smooth.

As always, we need more skaters, refs and NSOs. If you think you might like it, come check out a practice. I promise that no one will make fun of you and you can’t be a worse skater than I was starting out. Hit me up if you want to carpool to Cabot on Sundays.

Last week I think I did a pretty good job of spreading my points out a bit more evenly. I also didn’t use all of my activity points, so maybe that’s something I need to continue. I splurged a little more than I intended yesterday, but at least it was the beginning of my new week so I still have plenty left.

On Saturday I did my first 5K, the Race for the Cure in Little Rock. Thanks to Lex, I did wake up on time (He’s been getting up at 5:30 semi-regularly lately. Whats up with that?). There were a TON of people there.

Before the race amid a sea of people

I didn’t have as much time before the race as I’d wanted. As a result, I didn’t have time to wait in the stupid long line for the port-a-potties and so had to run on a full bladder. Not ideal. Also not ideal was not being able to get in front of all of the walkers. The vast majority of people walk the Race for the Cure. They had signs set up for a section for >30 minute runners, runners and then walkers. So I get up to the runners section and it’s filled with walkers. WTH? I tried to get up closer to where the actual runners were but it was damn near impossible. So I started the race with a large group of walkers with baby strollers and what not. I was very annoyed. When they started to thin out, I started to run along with a few other people in my situation. I finally got to a place where I could run constantly, and I didn’t stop, even going up hill (which I’m not very used to). One caveat: I stopped after half-way to take off my sweatshirt and drink some water, but I walked and it was only for 1 minute tops.

After the race, covered in swag

When I crossed the finish line, the timer said 39 minutes and something seconds. I don’t consider it very accurate since I didn’t actually get to run from the get-go, but oh well. Next year’s time will be much better.

Looking back, this was not the best race for a first time 5K. There were too many people in general and then there were people giving things away all along the race, which is fun, but not easy to get when you’re trying to run. I suppose I should have ignored the people handing out stuff, but I like free stuff. I got a really cool bag and more pink Mardis Gras beads than I know what to do with.

I think my next 5K will be one in Conway that a friend recommended, the Faulkner County Day School Racin’ New Year’s Eve 5K. The Faulkner County Day School is a school for developmentally disabled children who cannot attend public schools. If you started the Couch to 5K program today and did it 3 times a week, you’d be done with your training in time to run it! You can do early sign up until 12-3-12. You can also walk to help  out or “sleep walk” where you just get a T-shirt and sleep in. As for me, I reckon I’ll work on improving my time. Last year’s winner had a time of 17:11. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to beat that. I’d be thrilled if I could run it in under 30 minutes.

Starting Weight: 158

Current Weight: 145

Goal Weight: 139

GRITS does their roster and fresh meat practice at the same time, which I think is really good. When I went with the other fresh meat girls, I was amazed to see that they were already practicing tomahawk stops! Tomahawk stops are when you quickly spin around, briefly glide backward and then stop using your toe stops. I was under the impression that that was a pretty advanced thing to learn but it seems standard for GRITS. The roster skaters were doing drills where they would sprint and then do tomahawk stops, squealing their toe stops and burning rubber. If you watch WFTDA bouts, you do see it frequently so I know it’s a good move to have in your repertoire.

Seeing how much their fresh meat could do made me feel a bit behind and realize how much harder I need to practice. I mean, at the FCRG practices I feel like most of the time we were taking it pretty easy. The GRITS girls get right down to brass tacks and really challenge you to learn something new. Don’t get me wrong, the FCRGs did teach me A LOT. I just feel like the practices were a little more casual.

So, yeah, I was a bit out of my comfort zone during the whole practice, but that’s good. That’s how you learn. I’ve become more inspired, more motivated to learn those tricky moves. I want to pass my MSTs! I want to be a real roller girl!

Speaking of which, on the GRITS team, you can have a derby name before you pass your MSTs, so I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want mine to be. I’m the most indecisive person EVER when it comes to picking out names. I hate having to find a name for a video game character or email address. So I’m going to let you help me decide! I’ve come up with a few different names, and I want to see what y’all think. So, I created this little poll so you can vote! Whichever name gets the most votes is the one I’ll go with. Please, share with anyone you want; the more input, the better!

 Thanks for voting! And if you want more derby, GRITS’s Breakneck Brawlers are facing off with the Tulsa Derby Brigade this Saturday at the UALR Fieldhouse starting at 5:00 pm. It’s only $8.00 to get in or $6.00 with a military or student discount.