Ask About Love and Sex

She is so tight now that I have a hard time getting in.

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:56:20 +0000

I have been with the same woman for about seven years we have a child together and have lived together for almost as long. My question is about how tight her vagina is. I am not very thick down there and she has always felt good but never real tight until about a week ago. She is now so tight I have a hard time getting in at first even if we use lubrication. Also we did use a very large toy about 2 weeks ago and for a day or two she was looser than she ever had been and then she was tighter than she ever had been and she says she does not know why she is so tight. I am wondering if maybe she had been cheating and has now stopped or what it all has me kind of confused. ANSWER No wonder you are confused, but I wouldn't go accusing your partner of fooling around just yet. This sudden onset of extreme tightness may be a condition called "vaginismus". Vaginismus is a spasm in the musculature of the outer third of the vagina which makes insertion difficult or impossible. For some women, this muscle spasm is painful; for others, it is not. According to the Mount Sinai Hospital (Toronto, Canada) website: "It is widely believed that in most cases of vaginismus, the spasm is triggered either by pain or the anticipation of pain (emotional or physical pain). Much like the way an eyelid closes when something comes to close to the eye or a muscle flinches in response to an imminent punch, vaginismus is like a vaginal flinch. It is in some sense protecting the area, even though the woman doesn't want it to. Some women have fears or guilt regarding intercourse, others have physical pain problems, and still others have no obvious cause for their condition. One perplexing aspect of vaginismus is that often the spasm remains long after the woman has dealt with any anxieties or physical problems. So learning to control and eliminate this spasm is how one cures vaginismus." In your partner's case, if she is indeed experiencing vaginismus, it could well have been precipitated by the extra large dildo you played with shortly before her new "tightness" came about, now her vagina may be trying to protect itself. (more…)

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How do I achieve orgasm easier with a partner?

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 07:46:18 +0000

I was reading on your website and I came across info on techniques on how to delay your ejaculation, but I didn't find any info on if you already have delayed ejaculation issues and looking for advice to speed up the process of achieving orgasm through sex and not masturbation. Is there any info out there that can assist in relaxing men and training ourselves to have orgasm with a partner easier and to break down any mental or physical roadblocks than inhibits sexual pleasure? ANSWER The problem you describe, of having difficulty ejaculating when you want to, is much less common than the problem of ejaculating before you are ready, but many men do suffer from this situation. Ironically, the cause for both is likely to be the same. Let me explain. (more…)

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Is it my husband’s fault?

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 18:45:35 +0000

I have never had an orgasm with intercourse, is there something wrong with me? Is it my husband’s fault? We have to use a vibrator every time and I feel he’s tired of it. What can we do? ANSWER There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Women can experience all kinds of orgasms, from clitoral orgasm, to orgasm during intercourse, to full-body orgasms and more. Although your body has the potential for all these experiences, you must LEARN how. Orgasms are something we learn to have. According to lots of studies more than 50% of women do not experience orgasm during intercourse, especially without clitoral stimulation at the same time. However, if you want to you can learn! For starters, read this article we wrote for Urban Male Magazine, "Freeing the Female Orgasm" You might also want to get our ebook "Awakening Women's Orgasm" which goes into great detail about how to learn to become fully orgasmic. Read all about it here: www.tantra-sex.com Enjoy your quest for many types of orgasm, have fun exploring together. It's a great journey to be on! Al Link and Pala Copeland Sexy Spiritual Relationships Image Source: www. askmen.com

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His sperm appears thick and all most jelly like

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 08:27:47 +0000

My new partners sperm appears thick and all most jelly like i have never seen it like this and wondered if it is normal? ANSWER Ask yourself the following questions and the answers may give you a clue why this is happening, what caused it, and possibly what to do to reverse the condition. First, is it really a problem? Are there any undesirable aspects to having the sperm thick? Are there any other symptoms that accompany the thick sperm? Is thick sperm a sudden change from what you may have believed to be normal sperm (not thick)? When did this changer first appear? Were there any other changes in your lifestyle (e.g., diet, quantity of water consumed, medications, drug use, frequency of ejaculation, etc.), or in your body (e.g., some medical condition such as symptoms of burning urination, difficulty urinating, discharge from the penis, etc.) at that same time or now; something you could associate or connect to the thickening of the sperm? One hypothesis is that you have low testosterone. Low testosterone may also show up as any of the following symptoms: weight gain, reduced muscle tone and strength, low energy, and mild irritability. If you suspect it is related to low testosterone, you doctor can do a blood test to determine the level of free testosterone in your system, and if it is abnormally low, he has various options to help you increase your testosterone. Basically, if there are no other symptoms or complications associated with the thick sperm, and if this is not a sudden change, i.e., it is normal for you, then it is probably not a problem and nothing needs to be done about it. If it is a problem, if it is associated with other undesirable symptoms, then see your doctor to get it checked out. Another hypothesis is that thick sperm is the best sperm! Al Link and Pala Copeland Sexy Spiritual Relationships

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My partner is not satisfied with me

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:34:02 +0000

Sir I am having a problem that I get discharged very quickly during intercourse and also I am not having full erections. My partner is not satisfied with me as she takes a long time in her orgasm and I am not able to bring her to her orgasm during intercourse. Can you guide me in this regard please? ANSWER You must learn to work consciously with your hot sexual energy. The first step is to start doing PC squeezing. Squeeze the genital muscles as if you were stopping the flow of urine midstream. Hold the squeeze for 5-8 seconds, then relax the squeeze for 2 seconds, repeat for approximately 100 repetitions per day. You do not need to do all 100 at one time, but over the course of the day. Use some (more…)

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It has affected my relationships

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 11:15:50 +0000

When I am having sex it lasts less than one minute before I finish. But when I am drunk I can last as long as I like, without worrying about being premature or limp. I am really embarrassed by it so much so that I won’t have sex sober anymore. And it has affected my relationships because I don't want to have a girl friend because I don't want to go through the embarrassment of being premature. I love having sex and would like nothing more than to have more sober sex where I can last longer and we can both be pleased. ANSWER You must learn to work consciously with your hot sexual energy. The first step is to start doing PC squeezing. Squeeze the genital muscles as if you were stopping the flow of urine midstream. Hold the squeeze for 5-8 seconds, then relax the squeeze for 2 seconds, repeat for approximately 100 repetitions per day. You do not need to do all 100 at one time, but over the course of the day. Use some regular task or occurrence to help you remember to do the squeezing, e.g., while standing in line, sitting in a meeting, working at a computer, etc. We have a complete instruction manual in our eBook, Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms. If you systematically work through that course within a few weeks, or perhaps months you will gain the mastery you are looking for, without the need to drink alcohol. Al Link and Pala Copeland Sexy Spiritual Relationships

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How can I get an erection for long time?

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 03:56:39 +0000

I am 29 years old. I am getting married shortly. I am used to masturbation regularly since my 1st year of College. Whenever I see any scene of kissing or any semi nude photograph, etc., I used to get erection, and in night when the same scene comes on my mind, I used to masturbate. It used to take lot of time to ejaculate. But now since a year or so, such scenes are not making my penis to get erect, and if at all, it lasts for a very short period. In a very short time of erection, semen gets ejaculated. Once while travelling in bus, it was full, i was sitting in the door, one person( male only) was sitting facing me, on foot board. it was night. He started touching my groin area occasionally, and with that my penis started to get erect. When he touched 4th or 5th time, I just avoided it, by holding that part of my pants with my hands, but as soon as I held it, semen came out. Why so fast is this happening? After marriage, will I be able to do justice to my wife? How can I get an erection for long time? I feel that my penis becomes bit soft in 2-3 minutes after it gets erected. ANSWER First, stop the masturbation or cut back as much as possible, unless you use the masturbation as ejaculation training. Using masturbation as ejaculation training means you stimulate yourself close to ejaculation and then back off from further stimulation. You don’t masturbate all the way to ejaculation. There is nothing wrong, per se, about masturbation to ejaculation, but in your case there are problems, so further masturbation to include ejaculation will only contribute to your problems persisting and/or getting worse. Your challenge in preparation for marriage and regular sexual (more…) var AdBrite_Title_Color = '000000'; var AdBrite_Text_Color = '000000'; var AdBrite_Background_Color = 'FFCC66'; var AdBrite_Border_Color = 'E1771E'; var AdBrite_URL_Color = 'CC0000';

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Tantra Home Study Course DVD and Ebook Package

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:49:00 +0000

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Is it because I'm scared of commitment?

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 10:13:18 +0000

I had a bad experience with a long term relationship when it ended. I crave being loved and I crave male attention even if I have to annoy someone I'm not interested in to get it. But when I get into a relationship, I run when things get too serious as far as commitment. Is it because I'm scared of commitment or because I haven't met the right guy? ANSWER You can't get what you do want if you accept what you don't want. Stop wasting your time with people you don’t care about, and stop wasting their time. It is not fair to either you or them. Fear of commitment; you definitely have it, but you are not alone in that. Almost everyone who has had a broken heart has the same fear. Most people desire more than anything else to remain within their emotional comfort zone. We don’t like it to have “bad” feelings of fear, depression, insecurity, pain, hurt, etc. This is understandable, but if you are going to change the way things are, then you can’t continue to act in the same ways you have always acted, you must act in new ways. Almost certainly that will cause you to experience some of those bad feelings and take you out of your emotional comfort zone. The danger is that you will immediately act to feel better, and usually this means doing the same old things you have always done. The challenge is for you to tolerate being temporarily in your emotional discomfort zone, long enough to act in ways that will support creating the new results that you want. Acting in new ways will bring new results, and these new results will bring new “good” feelings of love, happiness, security, pleasure, fulfillment, etc. The choice is yours, whimp out and stay where your are, or go forward acting in new ways to create a new positive life. Al Link and Pala Copeland Sexy Spiritual Relationships Image Source: www.istockphoto. com

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Is there a way for us to feel fulfilled and energized?

4freedoms@tantraloving.com (Al Link and Pala Copeland) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:52:15 +0000

A man and I have fallen in love. He lives in the UK, and I am in the US. We have a very strong spiritual connection, as well as a physical desire for each other. We stare at each other online for a long period of time, sometimes having a fantasy together, using only typed words, audio, video or all 3. We find ourselves feeling weary. Is there a way for us to feel fulfilled and energized online, rather than depleted? Is not being able to physically touch the reason we are left weary and depleted? We are both over 60! ANSWER You've created an interesting challenge for each other! It sounds both fulfilling and frustrating for you. To make a connection over great physical distance, you can focus on your energetic body, not your physical body — energy bodies can go anywhere Begin by focusing intently on your physical body, starting at your head and very slowly feeling each part of you all the way down to your feet. Notice where there is tension, where you are relaxed, areas that you don't really notice any sensation. Be sure to breathe slowly and deeply to help you relax. When you are tuned in to your body endeavor to feel the (more…)

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