Zechariah 9:12 NIV

²⁵ “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm—
my great army that I sent among you.

Joel 2:25 NIV

I know, I remember hearing promises like that in God’s word. I can’t remember if I read it, or if I heard a Pastor say it, but I do remember hearing the promise that God would restore twice as much as you lost to those who hope in Him. During my times of testing last year, I held on to that promise.

So remember yesterday I wrote an article about a dream of mine that came true, well, that’s not the only dream that came true for my family within the last two months. So far, these fulfilled dreams are just the smaller dreams among a mountain of dreams big and small for my family, nevertheless, like I said in my quote yesterday, a dream come true is the best dream of all.

Since my husband and I have been married for the last seven years, he’s wanted a family piano, but of course we couldn’t afford it at this point in our lives. Guess what? We got one yesterday and we didn’t have to do a thing for it, just know the right people at the right time; someone who thought about us when his job required him to throw away a perfectly good piano. Isn’t that awesome? No, it’s God!

For the last four Christmases, my husband and I were wishing we had a train to run under our Christmas tree. Last Christmas, special friends got us one.

So even though, Zachariah 9:12 or Joel 2:25, are promises that aren’t directly meant for us. I hold those promises true to my heart. God does restore double what has been lost.

Though there is nothing in heaven or earth that could replace the loss of my son. I believe that the joy I lost in 2011 will be restored many times over in 2012.

“Some dreams are big. Some dreams are small, but a dream is a dream; and a dream come true is the best dream of all.”

Quote by Latisha J.Greaves-Barker

This is a quote I just made up.

I’ve wanted to go see “Disney on Ice” for the last five years, but for some reason each year goes by and I never get there. Last year was different; last year, this dream came true, thanks to some very special friends.

Last December, my family and I got to go see “Disney on Ice Treasure Trove.” We had such a wonderful time and created a beautiful memory. One, I know I will never forget. I hope for the opportunity to do something like that again.

We got to see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and Minnie Mouse; as well as Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Snow White, the Lion King, Aladdin, the Little Mermaid, Tangled, the  Princess and the Frog; and in the finale, we saw all of Disney’s Prince and Princesses. I saw Capt. Hook get eaten by a crocodile, Tinkerbell fly, Aladdin and Jasmine on a magical carpet ride and glowing lanterns in the sky. It was a very enchanting show, oh, and the kids enjoyed it too.

Here are some pics below from this magical memory. Did you get to see this show? If so, what did you think? If you didn’t get to see it last year, I hope you do next time it is in your area and if that’s not your dream, I hope some of your dreams come true this year, because I believe that dreams do come true, big or small.

I’m doing okay considering all that I’ve just been through; if you’re not sure what I’m talking about see previous post.

In this post, I would like to talk little bit about my Christmas holiday. How was yours? Mine was quite unexpectedly nice. I didn’t think it was possible to have such a nice Christmas holiday after losing my son only a month before (five days before Thanksgiving).

Before my son died, and after having four months of an emotional roller-coaster, all I wanted for Christmas was a big Christmas miracle (for my son to be healed) and a new beginning. Things didn’t turn out quite as I hoped. I never thought that God would allow me to experience such a loss so close to the most wonderful time of the year, but through this experience I have learnt so much. For example, I am much stronger than I know.

As I tried to pick up the pieces and make the holidays magical for my children, we did all the wonderful Christmas things, like decorate the tree and house, listen to Christmas music and watch Christmas movies and specials.

Even though I wasn’t sure if I was quite up to doing the whole Christmas gathering thing, we invited a special family who had been a great support throughout our whole stormy season to have Christmas dinner with us, our treat.

I got a little worried when two days before Christmas, we were still flat broke, but God sent just in the nick of time. The Friday before Christmas, we had no choice but to do last minute shopping for the kids at Walgreens, and even though the things we bought were a lot cheaper than I was initially planning to spend on my kids (to my husband’s pleasure), we did all right, with exception of two flops. I guess everything happened the way it was supposed to.

By God’s grace, the Saturday morning we received another set of money which enabled us to go grocery shopping for Christmas dinner the next day.

Our Christmas day was wonderful. The children enjoyed the gifts that awaited them under the Christmas tree Christmas morning. Christmas dinner was also wonderful and we were definitely in good company.

Even though my husband and I were unable to exchange presents due to lack of enough funds, our Christmas was very special. Seeing the joy in our children’s hearts and being surrounded by so much love of friendship and family, to me is what Christmas magic is all about.

God has blessed us with very good friends this year, who have shown themselves to understand what true friendship is about, not only have they given to us via something physical, we could hold and use, but they’ve also given of their time, support, encouragement and their love. Again, that is what Christmas magic is about.

So even though this year I experienced loss, I have also gained. I’ve come to understand that life can be hard and challenging, but also magical.

Last year was the worst year I’ve ever experienced in my life. It was a testing time, a challenging time, a season of confusion and despair; I faced many trials and lost a special treasure.

In 2011, around the month of March, I learned I was pregnant; in the month of July, I learned it was a boy. That same month I also learned he was unable to pass urine, and this could cause serious problems in his development. I was given the option to terminate pregnancy, but chose not to do so.

I couldn’t do that because I’d already felt my son moving inside of me and seen his beautiful frame in the ultra sound, my love for and bond with him already existed. Terminating pregnancy, to me, would have been murder.

So trusting God that he had a plan for the whole journey, I carried through with this pregnancy, hoping that God would heal and spare my son. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. I prayed, I cried, I worried, I feared, I hoped.

Between the months of August and October were filled with weekly visits to the hospital. At first a hospital far away from home ($30 in taxi fare), then two months later, at two other hospitals, one included a Children’s Hospital. In those months, we saw many Medical Professionals who believed my son’s chance of survival was very slim. Nevertheless, I hoped they were wrong and God had a plan for this whole experience.

An Urologist we were seeing through this process, the first doctor to recommend pregnancy termination, never thought my son would make it to thirty-six weeks, neither did my new OB/GYN of two months. Nevertheless, he did.

Kaiden Denahi Barker came into this world via C-section on 14th November 2011. He made one small cry, and then I never heard his voice again. He did not die that day. They hooked him up to a Respirator, and he was baptized in the delivery room. A very sweet Nurse named Hope took pictures.

My son was in the NICU for six days, during the first five days, I was unable to hold him to me, he was still hooked up to a Respirator and had many tubes attached to him, but he still moved when we touched him.

He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. He had silky, shiny, black, straight hair, like an Angel’s. His skin was soft and smooth and he had a creamy complexion. I already knew my son was a fighter. In fact, that was what the name Kaiden meant. He had already defied the odds.

And if given the chance, my son would’ve grown up to be a wise man. In fact, the name Denahi, derived from Disney film Brother Bear, meant wisdom. He had his name before we knew he was not well.

On my final day at the hospital, this was the fifth day. My husband and I met with some of the Medical Professionals dealing with my son’s case; apparently it was unanimous that nothing could be done for my son and they thought it would be best to halt all human intervention and let him pass on in comfort, this was called “Comfort Care.”

I thought to myself, it was now or never, if God was going to let our son live, if he was going to give us a miracle, it would be now. So we decided to go ahead with the procedure of disconnecting our son from all machines the following day, Saturday 19^th, November 2011.

They said he could die in a matter of minutes or hours after the Respirator is disconnected. I finally held him to me that day and laid him on my chest, it was greatest feeling. We let our children play with him for a little while and took some pictures. They loved him.

After my kids said their goodbyes, I held him to me a little while longer before letting the Nurses know to go ahead and disconnect the Respirator, he instantly turned blue and this made me hysterical.

Many things happened during this time, too much to mention. My husband held him, I held him, I prayed and prayed and prayed, and I talked to him, and hoped and hoped and hoped. Nevertheless, many hours later, my son was gone.

I’m sure I will be telling this story for years to come and in the future more of this tale would be revealed, but for right now, I need you to know that I’m okay. My faith in God is still strong and I know without him throughout this whole experience, I wouldn’t have survived. He kept me strong and renewed my strength every day.

This experience has changed me. It has made me appreciate life and my loved ones so much more. It has made me love stronger and has given me the desire to fight harder; I want to make my son Kaiden proud of me. I want to write about his legacy. This experience has shaped me and God has put a peace in my heart.

I believe he has a plan and purpose for that journey; and only time will tell, but for right now I am getting ready for a new season of life and what’s to come. I am renewing my mind, body and soul, reevaluating my life and moving forward towards a better future.

Kaiden Denahi Barker will never be forgotten.

In the beginning of this novel, before the story even begins, the author quotes this bible verse: “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13: 1-2.

So what did I think of this book? I liked it. From the very beginning, it peek my interest. It didn’t start out slow to me at all. I was already intrigued.

This novel was written from the perspective of a Bed and Breakfast owner Edith Ryan, she is a Pastor’s wife and she has four grown married children. Edith lives in a Christmas all year round quaint little town called “Christmas Valley.” Where all the businesses are Christmas themed and named after something relating to the holiday, e.g, The North Pole Coffee Shop, Mrs. Santa’s Diner, Shepherd’s Inn Bed and Breakfast, etc.

Though most people in the town tend to get tired of the ongoing Christmas theme of the town, Edith loves it and loves it even more when Christmas season comes around and all her kids come home for the holidays. Edith loves being surrounded by her kids and grandkids during the holidays, but this Christmas none of her kids are able to come home.

Inspired by one of her husband’s midweek messages about being hospitable to strangers because you maybe entertaining angels unawares. Edith had a great idea. So that she and her husband won’t be alone this Christmas, she’ll open up the Bed & Breakfast for the holidays; and do her best to make her guest’s stay extra special and festive.

Edith anticipated what kind of guest would arrive. Her husband supported her idea, and they both prayed to God asking him to send the right people to them, people who needed a little Christmas cheer this year.

The arrival of her first guest really started to shake things up in Christmas Valley. She was a very cantankerous, opinionated, strong-willed, pushy old lady named Myrtle Pinkerton. A woman who was not afraid to voice her opinion to others openly, not worrying too much of who she offends or how she comes across.

Other guest included Jim and Carmen Fields, a thirty-something couple, who constantly argues, an elderly widower named Albert Benson, a divorced mother named Leslie and her five year old daughter, Meghan, and Lauren and Michael Thomas who have huge problems of their own.

Half way through the book marks the arrival of the very eccentric, very colorful Christmas Bus (so called by Edith), a home and mode of transportation for a very young and very poor pregnant couple, Collin and Amy, who were on their way to California, so Collin could find work, but got a little derailed by engine trouble.

Because it was snowing heavily outside, they thought they’d use what little they have to treat themselves to a room at the Inn for one night, but there was no room at the inn, this reminded Edith of the first Christmas story of so very long ago.

Even though the name of this story is “The Christmas Bus.” I think there was a character in this story that stood out more than the bus itself. Myrtle Pinkerton, as I mentioned before, really shook things up in Christmas Valley upon her arrival. She rubbed many people the wrong way, as did that very loud, eye-catching bus parked in front of Shepherd’s Inn, which the townsfolk including the Major thought was spoiling the well-planned ambience of the town.

Nevertheless, she changed the lives of all the people she came into contact with, without them realizing until she was gone. Leaving folks to wonder was she an angel disguised in a very unconventional package, but as for Charles and Edith Ryan they believed she was.

I thought the book was well written, I love the depiction of the characters; some more defined than others. I like that the setting of the story takes place at a Bed and Breakfast which leaves room for all kinds of characters of all kinds of different backgrounds, to come together under one roof and mix-mesh, but the true stand-out character was definitely Myrtle.

Although, I don’t really have much complaints about the story nor was I completely disappointed at the outcome, it felt a bit unfinished, like it was missing something and it needed a more powerful, heartwarming and impactful ending to knit the whole story and the character’s evolution together. I felt like I didn’t quite get the revolutionary ending I was expecting.

Coming to the last few chapters, I felt the character Myrtle cooking up a good stew that would change the town and the folks staying at Shepherd’s Inn lives forever. I just did not feel that it was clearly defined in the end. It left me really wanting to know, well, what happens now for all these people. The author just hinted at some possibilities, without truly giving us closure. I hate that.

Nevertheless, I still liked this book despite not getting the closure I was hoping for in the end. I don’t want to discourage you, it is a good book. It needed more but I still think it is a very nice book to read and relax with. So go for it and tell me what you think?

* * * * (4 stars out of 5)

Christmas in July Reading Marathon

Book One- The Treasure of Christmas- A 3-n-1 Christmas Collection

Novel One- “The Christmas Bus”

Up Next- “The Gift of Christmas Present”

Nevertheless, this year I am doing something different. This year I am launching a “Christmas in July Reading Marathon.” What that means is; I am reading a whole bunch a Christmas novels by Christian author Melody Carlson.

Where did I get the idea? Well, I very rarely read fiction, even though I do like fiction and often enjoy the books I choose to read in that department, I tend to gravitate more to non-fiction self-help/Christian living/inspiring/motivational type books featuring authors like Joyce Meyer and others. Nevertheless, this year, I’ve not been feeling so great, been having a hard time with my pregnancy, haven’t been feeling the renewal of body, mind and soul vibe lately, unfortuantely.  I just felt like reading something light and fun, where all I needed to do is sit back, relax and enjoy, not think so much about getting my act together. Can you relate?

So last month, I bought a book called “These Boots Weren’t Made for Walking,” which I loved, authored by Melody Carlson. It’s the first book I have ever read of hers. It got so good in the end, I couldn’t put it down, I loved how it ended but felt sad that that journey was over, I wanted more. So I went to my bookshelf, found the only unread fiction I had, and it was a Christmas book I bought last December but didn’t get around to reading and it was written by the same author Melody Carlson. I said “what the heck” and even though it was June, I read it; loved it and finished it in two or three days, a book has got to be good for me to do that.

That’s when I discovered all these other Christmas novels she has written and I saw a two book package on sale at Christianbook.com for $19.99; it featured two 3-in-1 Christmas books by Melody Carlson. One is called “The Treasure of Christmas” featuring “The Christmas Bus,” “Gift of Christmas Present,” and “Angels in the Snow.” The other one is called “The Joy of Christmas” featuring “An Irish Christmas,” “All I have to Give,” and “The Christmas Dog.”

I just finished reading the first novel, “The Christmas Bus,” it was very enjoyable, finished reading it in less than a week; I’ll soon post my review of that one and all the others. I hope to inspire you to share in the reading and discussing of these books with me or to talk about what you are reading. Nevertheless, it is going to be a fun summer for me, reading and otherwise. P.S- Though I’m calling this project, what I am calling it, I am not putting any pressure on myself to complete all six books by July’s end, what’s the fun in that, I’m just going to read as I can and enjoy them naturally, and post my review when I finish each book. It’ll be fun. Happy summer!