Welcome to the February 1, 2012 edition of the Carnival of Online Dating! This is the twenty-second edition of the blog carnival, and we really appreciate those who have submitted their links for inclusion. Spread the word: The next Carnival of Online Dating will be February 15, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday February 14.

Dating Tips & Advice

• Mary Edwards presents 10 Fights Every Young Couple Has posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “If you are married you will totally get a kick out of remembering all the silly little fights you had as a newlywed and if you are a newlywed maybe these will be food for thought.”
• Craig presents Film Reveals The Gay Lives of the Star Wars Storm Troopers posted at GayNetwork Buzz, saying, “Film Reveals The Gay Lives of the Star Wars Storm Troopers. Find out more on Gay Network. It is not your usual dating subscription service, there are no monthly contracts or hidden charges. Gay dating is for free.”
• Spacetraveller presents MGTOW – good or bad for women? posted at The Sanctuary.
• Donna Cullen presents 10 Dances You Should Only Attempt if You Are a Pro posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “With the show ‘Dancing with the Stars’ becoming more and more popular as well as others like ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ and ‘America’s Best Dance Crew’ it is no wonder that people are getting back into dancing. Is it safe to try all dances or are those that should be left to the professionals?”
• Donna Cullen presents 10 Ways to Find Out If Your Love Wants Kids posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “Even the happiest couples can run into a serious roadblock when one person wants children and the other doesn’t, but broaching the subject can be sticky. Opening the discussion too soon can make your partner feel like they’re being rushed into very serious commitments, but avoiding the topic for too long can lead to disappointment.”
• Mary Edwards presents 10 Love Lessons Learned from the Movie Love Guru posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “Who says Hollywood doesn’t make socially redeeming movies anymore? Just take a look at Love Guru, the Mike Myers film. It’s loaded with romantic advice. In fact, we’ll list 10 love lessons you can learn from the movie Love Guru.”
• Fitz presents Personalise Your Online Dating First Message posted at The London School of Attraction.
• Mary Edwards presents 10 Love Lessons Learned from Austin Powers posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “The gross-out comedy trilogy of Austin Powers films may not seem, on the surface, like a source of wisdom. Reading between the lines, there are several lessons on dating and relationships that can be gleaned from the raunchy humor; here are ten of the things that Austin Powers can teach us about love.”
• Donna Cullen presents 10 Reasons People Forget They are in Love posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
• Fitz presents Great Questions for Your Online Dating First Message posted at The London School of Attraction.
• Spacetraveller presents Know Thy Man posted at The Sanctuary.
• Graham Stoney presents Music To Help You Feel Confident posted at The Confident Man Project, saying, “Music is a great way to change your emotional state so that you feel happier and more confident before a date.”
• Kirk L. presents Top 10 Ways To Meet People Online posted at Online Dating Advice, Online Dating Tips, Online Dating Statistics and How to get girls., saying, “Top 10 ways to meet people online. Practical advice for opening yourself up to new positive experiences while online dating.”
• Katie Sorene presents How to Date a Brazilian posted at Travel Blog – Tripbase, saying, “If you’re heading to Brazil and hoping for romance these dating tips will come in handy. Learn how to score a date and the cultural faux pas to avoid when dating a Brazilian.”
• Britt presents dating & texting: 3 signs he doesn?t want in posted at Cool Sh*t by Britt, saying, “for every woman who has ever played an unintentional texting game with a guy”
• Ditzy Dater presents Dating Tips for Women – Cruise Control! posted at Smart Dating UK Blog.
• Chelsea Prescotti presents Top 10 Tips to Protect Your Privacy Online posted at CreditScore.net, saying, “We lock our doors and close our curtains in order to protect our privacy. Unfortunately, however, when we sit down at the computer, we often expose ourselves to those who want to invade our privacy. Our activities online are easily monitored at work and at home, and if we are not careful, we can give away our credit card numbers, identities and much more to the undesirable elements of society when we surf the Internet. Yet protecting our privacy online is not that difficult, especially when we follow these ten easy steps:”

Date Ideas

• Fitz presents Ideas for Dates with a Girl posted at The London School of Attraction.

Be sure to tune in every 1st and 3rd Wednesdays for more! The next Carnival of Online Dating will be February 15th, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday February 14th!

That concludes this edition. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

February is around the corner, so how perfect would it be to find that loving, sensitive guy by Valentine’s Day? Well, Chemistry.com wants to help you. They sifted through their piles of data to narrow down the top 10 cities to find a sensitive man in.

But, how did they do it? Using their data based on personality types of American singles, they were able to pinpoint the cities with the highest concentrations of those coveted, sensitive men — and you might be surprised by the results!

The data revealed that many of those sensitive men reside along the east coast, from Florida to New York. Interestingly enough, the top 3 cities are also extremely popular vacation spots (hint, hint).

Chemisty.com’s scientific advisor Dr. Helen Fisher weighed in on the findings:

“Men do have a sensitive side. They want to please. But different men do it differently; and these 10 cities are packed with a certain kind of man, what I call BUILDERS — men who express a constellation of personality traits linked with the serotonin system in the brain,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, Chief Scientific Advisor to Chemistry.com. “Sensitive men, known as builders, are traditional. They deeply value loyalty, duty, respectability and proper moral conduct. They want to do the “right” thing. So builders go way out of their way to keep their social relationships running smoothly. So they watch, listen, and gauge what they need to do to help others and they do it naturally. It’s these chivalrous qualities that make a sensitive man.”

1. Pompano Beach, Florida
2. Roanoke, Virginia
3. West Hollywood, California
4. Nashville, Tennessee
5. Buffalo, New York
6. Sarasota, Florida
7. Greenville, South Carolina
8. Wilmington, North Carolina
9. Indianapolis, Indiana
10. Staten Island, New York

What do you think of the results? Personally, I’m skeptical, but hey, keep an eye out if you’re ever vacationing in any of these spots.

There are times when guys just know that their lady will overreact to something. Usually that happens when he’s too lazy to care, or is just willing to face her reaction. But what about those times when guys really don’t see it coming? Here are a few things some guys don’t expect women to overreact over.

He Doesn’t Seem Appreciative

So, you cook your guy a great meal, he kisses you on the cheek or says, “Thanks, hon,” and goes on with eating. Women usually take verbal queues with stuff like this, but guys are the opposite. What happens? She thinks he doesn’t care! Guys won’t usually gush about things like women tend to, so take the time to observe him enjoying the heck out of that tasty dinner you made him.

He Didn’t Plan Ahead

Guys, has your lady ever asked you to make reservations at that new restaurant in town, or something like that? Chances are, yes, and chances are, you’ve forgotten to at some point. By nature, women are better multi-taskers, so give your guy some slack when something slips his mind. If you want him to hear something, be sure you have his undivided attention!

He Doesn’t Invite You

If your man goes out with his friends and doesn’t invite you along, don’t overreact! Men usually have certain people they like to talk to things about and shoot the shit with, whereas women lean toward chatting with a variety of people. Let him have his time out, and don’t get offended when he needs to get away. Take the time to plan an outing with your girlfriends.

He’s Distant After Sex

Sex is very different for men and women. Remember that he won’t always finish when you do, and chances are, if he’s laying there silent after sex it’s because he just finished! Just think about it: When you orgasm, all you want to do is bask in that afterglow feeling. Let him do the same.

The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to meet someone at the gym — it’s when the most people go! Whether you’re going to the gym as a New Year’s resolution or you’re a regular, now’s the time. Here are a few great do’s and don’ts for meeting someone at the gym.

Don’ts

Don’t wear earphones if you want to be approachable. If you tune into your music, you’re tuning everyone else out. If you really need to hear some music to get into your workout, maybe put one earbud in and keep your eye out for someone approaching you.

Guys — and ladies — don’t stare. This one goes back to introducing yourself. Following someone around before introducing yourself is just creepy.

Ladies, don’t wear tons of makeup. You’re at the gym, so you should be au naturale! All that melty makeup will make you look like a hot mess. If you want a little boost, use a light tinted moisturizer to even out skin tone.

Do’s

Make the first move. Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself! Some people have a very hard time with this, but you don’t have anything to lose. If that hot girl working out blows you off, so what? Better yet, what if you introduce yourself and you get her number out of it? The first step is to make the first move.

Ask for help. Ladies, ask a guy to help spot you when lifting weights — there will usually be a higher ratio of men in the weights section anyway. If you don’t know how to use a piece of equipment, it’s another good reason to ask for help and chat someone up.

Smell good. I mean, it’s tough when you’re working up a heavy sweat, but do your best. Wear strong deodorant and bring a clean towel along to wipe your brow, etc.

Take a class. You’ll hopefully learn something new and it’s the perfect chance to meet someone new. If you spot someone you’re interested in, take the spot beside them during the next class.

Although we cover a variety of online dating and relationship tips, there are times when a situation is too unique for an umbrella topic. Or maybe we just haven’t covered something yet! That’s why we’re going to do an Ask Online Dating U every once in a while. At Online Dating University, we’re here for you, so send us your questions!

My boyfriend and I (late-20′s) have been together for 3 months. We have some overlap in our hobbies and interests, enough to sustain a conversation but we differ on the things we truly like. For example, I’m quite passionate about films — I get very excited for Oscar season and I’ll go out of my way to watch everything on the list. He doesn’t care, and in fact thinks everything’s silly except for the rare documentary. I’ll watch those too, but, for example, I’d also like to watch Bridesmaids again, and I’m a little disappointed that he refuses to watch it. I admit that my favorites lean toward frivolity, and now I’m hesitant to talk about the things I love because I’m afraid that he’ll think it’s stupid. Conversely, I’m not really into the things that he’s passionate about either. I can’t really sit and listen to jazz for hours, and the idea of going to a poetry reading is completely unappealing.

We do have some common ground and things to talk about. For example, we both have a mild interest in indie music, but it’s not something either of us are passionate about. Similar careers. Mutual friends. Current events. I wouldn’t mind compromising and trying new things, but I don’t think he’s amenable to doing the same. And frankly I don’t want to adapt his interests when he won’t try mine. Is that silly? These are really very trivial matters and they’re not really an issue right now, but I’m wondering what’s going to happen when the honeymoon period wears off.

I don’t think it’s so much about whether you like the same things or not, but more about how you appreciate and support your S.O.’s interests. Definitely don’t make him feel like your interest or hobby is more important than his, and things may be a bit easier if he were willing to explore like you are. It’s all about showing an interest and encouraging.

Make the effort to ask questions and learn more about your his interests, and you might find yourself truly interested in them. Even if you try to get into some of his interests, and it turns out that you just really can’t find a way to bring them into the mix, that’s ok. As long as the both of you respect one another’s interests, things will be smooth over the long-run.

It’s totally fine to do some things together and some things apart — diversity of interests can spice things up. Take advantage of your diverse interests and mix it up! Maybe make a date night out of it and go to a current movie and hit up a jazz club to grab a drink. Get creative!

Being mindful in your dating approach will get you far. If you feel like your relationships just aren’t sticking, then perhaps you’re prone to sabotaging them. Here are 4 behaviors that indicate that you may be sabotaging your relationship.

Soul Mate… At First Sight

If you believe your date is your soul mate from first meeting, you may be sabotaging your relationship. Hey, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I believe in love at first sight. BUT I still believe that you should approach the relationship slowly to allow it to flourish naturally. Don’t set yourself up for heartache by convincing yourself that you’ve met your soul mate after your first two dates. It’s great to be positive, but relationships need a solid foundation to survive. Besides, are you sure that your date is on the same wavelength as you?

Morally Mismatched

Accepting things about your date that don’t match your own values, morals, or vision of the relationship can put you on the road to sabotaging your relationship. If you find yourself questioning things your date does, you’re probably not a match. Many people, eager to have a relationship, often overlook or settle for someone who doesn’t share the same morals and values — that’s no good. You don’t want to turn the one you’re dating into the fantasy person you created in your head. It’s fine to have difference of interests, but not of values, morals, and vision.

Sex Too Soon

If you have sex right away in your relationship — either it started that way, or just a date or so in — you might be sabotaging your relationship. I know, I know, this subject is controversial, because every couple is different. In general, it’s best to wait as long as possible for sexual intimacy because it makes things complicated. Once you have sex, it can cloud your judgement — is this person the right match for you? You could end up being connected solely by sex. So, if you’re only going for a relationship like that, power to you! If you want something for the long haul, hold off for a bit. There are other things you can do to feel physically and intimately close.

Eager Beaver

This one goes hand in hand with the first point: If you’re overly eager to move the relationship forward, you may be sabotaging your relationship. Many folks that have just ended a long-term, monogamous relationship often find themselves eager to get in that same comfort zone again with someone new. Dating — not sleeping — around isn’t everyones thing, but it will allow you to meet new people and potentially someone you’ll stick with for the long-term. Focusing too much on locking someone in right away can distract you from noticing important red flags and truly determining whether or not you’re compatible. Or worse, you could scare him or her off!