just a quick one liner to pump up a pal. it could be a text, an email, a tweet. you could leave an index card or a post-it note with something on it where they can find it.

how about some simple words like:

“you’re amazing !”

“there’s no one like you !”

“you deserve to be happy !”

“look at you… you rock !”

“your best is incredible !”

“you’ve got what it takes (and then some) !”

“you’re dazzling me with your light. please keep it up !”

we certainly could use a lot more of this around us. don’t you agree?

small adjustment: how about surprising a friend with a high note?  guaranteed to raise a smile. you’ll no doubt be pumping up yourself as well. try it out, you amazing thing you !

do you want to be an incredible magnet?

just listen… huh? put your antenna up.

the law of reciprocity has it that things have to balance out, eventually.  your gift of attention will give you magnetic connection. (this is the real secret to charisma). it’s true if you really think about it.  sometimes the giving part can be so simple.

if you want connection, offer your attention.

when you’re really listening to someone, they feel heard, validated, and valued just for being themselves. ahem, just like you do.

to really listen is to put the other person first. you don’t have to agree, you don’t have to comment, you don’t even have to offer your opinion. the act of listening naturally puts people at ease.

listening demonstrates care. the better a listener you are, the better a magnet for others you will be.

small adjustment: practice intense listening with someone. offer verbal and non-verbal queues that you’re getting their message. see if that doesn’t magnetize your connection.

Photo: Ed Yourdon / Flickr

“There is no greater burden than carrying an untold story.”
—Maya Angelou, Poet Laureate

offloading a secret, something you have been keeping and holding, an idea that perhaps no one else knows, can really lighten your load.

there’s evidence that “getting it off your chest” whether with someone or by writing it down carries positive health benefits – changes immune function – grades can even go up.

do you have someone that you can tell a secret to? if so, you’re lucky.  if you feel that you have something that you can’t tell someone, just the act of writing it down can be a big help. you can destroy the paper and still get all the benefits.

if you do share it, it will obviously create a special bond with that person. now you have someone who is sharing this close knowledge. depending on what it is, they might have a good idea to offer or give you a perspective that you might not have considered.

small adjustment: try letting go of a secret. see if it doesn’t lift you up. let us know how it worked.

being remembered is like being hugged – even if it’s invisible or imaginary. that thought vibration exists somewhere. hearing someone say it is the hug made real.

being remembered reminds you that someone cares, someone is connected to you. you’re not alone. you matter in this world.

you know how it feels to hear it. why not give that gift to someone that matters to you?

small adjustment: the next time you see or talk (or text, email, or tweet) with someone that you’ve been thinking about, tell them. be secure in the knowledge that you matter in some way to them, too (even though you may not hear it.)

what do you do with that? how does it make you feel?

even when I feel down, whenever I receive a smile, I can nearly always put away my troubles just for an instant.

maybe a smile is like a laugh box. it starts out being silly and the more you hear it, the more you can’t help yourself from laughing, too. this can lead to hysterical laughter… over nothing – but laughing itself.

come to think of it, you can’t have hysterical laughter without starting with a smile.

it’s the best kind of exercise (well, pretty much) and, best of all because it’s got a solid G rating, it can be shared anywhere, with anyone, in any situation.

the smile is the seed that grows into something positive. let’s go plant some seeds. research says that half the time you’ll get a smile back. let’s boost the averages. the world could use it.

small adjustment: smile at three strangers today. what happens? how do you feel?