Susan Liddy International

Astonishing Women Leaders: Emotionally Intelligent and more

Susan Liddy — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:38:27 +0000

Are you a woman who leads? Whether it’s managing a team at work, coaching the cheerleading squad, or running your own business… strong leaders have one thing in common. They know how to motivate other people to action!

When you think of women who lead, who comes to mind? Maybe Oprah Winfrey, Indira Ghandi, Margaret Thatcher… fearless females who stand out as championing a cause or motivating others for lasting change. What about people from your everyday life? We all know at least one woman who stands out as being an exceptional leader among her peers.

How about you… have you always wanted to lead a group? Maybe you already act as a leader in your own life and just need some reassurance that you’re in the right role.

Here are some common traits of women who know how to take charge and empower others for success!

1. Women leaders are goal-oriented. The sole point of organizing a group of people is for a common purpose- a goal! To be a woman who knows how to move people to action means that you must be purpose-driven. Natural born leaders have both a long- and short-term vision for the future. What does the group intend to do? What steps need to be taken to get there? Put a strong leader in charge and you will quickly see change take place – starting with a goal.

2. Women leaders know how to communicate effectively. Great bosses, influential presidents, and even strong scout leaders know how to effectively motivate people through words and gestures. Not only are they good at saying what they mean, but strong leaders excel at speaking in front of a group. They know how to use both verbal and nonverbal skills to convey powerful, rousing emotions. And in the arena of interpersonal communication… strong leaders remain fair, impartial, positive and empowering when interacting with others.

3. Women leaders display high emotional intelligence. We spoke a bit about effective communication; strong leaders become this way because they have learned to rise above petty thoughts and steer clear of self defeating inner dialogue (coaches call this self talk). Maintaining high emotional intelligence means these women are more apt to remain cool and in control in a crisis; not let negative influences bring them down and not find themselves spinning in those self defeating cycles that so many of us find ourselves in. Instead, they empower their thoughts to achieve more in less time, to guide others to do the same and to get more accomplished using the people and resources available!

4. Women leaders know how to delegate. Weak leaders tend to micro-manage; that’s when you assign a task to someone else but then, instead of trusting them to get the job done, focus all of your energy nitpicking and criticizing. A good leader puts her trusted team members to work so she can free up her time to make long-range plans for the future. The strong female in charge knows how important it is to have key people in her corner who are well suited to the jobs that she needs them to complete. This keeps her at the helm of the plan, focused on long range goals and ensuring that the group can continue to maximize productivity, stay motivated for the future and attain everything they set out to!

Finally, all great leaders understand how important life balance and self care is to achieving their goals, staying healthy and leading others effectively. Above all else, engaging in a healthy lifestyle and drawing a line between your work and personal life, is critical to becoming, and being, the best leader possible.

Comment on this question:

When you think of amazing women leaders, who comes to mind?

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Susan Liddy, MA is an Emotional Intelligence trainer and coach for entrepreneurial women. As CEO of Susan Liddy International, Susan has spent the past decade empowering extraordinary women to ultimate success. Do you want to be an extraordinary leader? Apply today to qualify for a complimentary Boost your Emotional Intelligence Assessment and Strategy Session.

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Emotional Shifting: Create Motivation Whenever You Need It

Susan Liddy — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 19:40:54 +0000

Ever have this happen to you? You are full steam ahead, fully motivated and engaged with your business and then suddenly you get a case of the “lazies.” Feeling unmotivated from time to time is normal, yet consistent lack of motivation will lower your morale and leave you feeling icky about your business. More often than not, when you find yourself in a constant state of “not feeling like it,” you were likely emotionally triggered at some point and spinning on a Cycle of Disempowerment.

Motivation is a big challenge for many FEMpreneurs and it is critical to running an extraordinary business. Many of my clients ask me why it is so hard to stay motivated, and my reply is always, that we forget the WHY of our goals. We lose sight of the bigger picture, the meaning behind the desire and instead we wallow in a challenging circumstance or recent disappointment, which leaves us unmotivated and or lackadaisical at best.

Sigmund Freud’s Pain/Pleasure Principle offers an explanation for this. People make decisions based upon their emotions. People will generally choose what will create less pain and more pleasure. Whenever you associate “pain” with something that is good for your business, you put yourself on course for procrastinating and giving up on it.

Every FEMpreneur will experience disappointment, “failure”, rejection or other difficult feelings that can lead to lack of motivation. A key success factor for business is the ability to shift your emotions to positive and motivating states when you need to. You’ve heard me say before, “don’t think, just do” is an effective strategy for getting yourself out of a rut and back on track. This is just one easy way to create an emotional shift when you need one.

Here are 5 more emotional shifting tips to instantly create motivation:

1.) Acknowledge the Small Wins: It’s easy to acknowledge the big wins, yet the majority of goal accomplishment is actually made up of “small wins”. Remember to marinate in the good feelings of every little accomplishment as you move toward your goal, and especially when you are feeling particularly unmotivated.

2.) Remember the Meaning: When defining your business goals, don’t just focus on what you want and when you want it. Focus on WHY you want it. What greater meaning does your goal have for your business? How does your goal make you, your business or the world a better place? Use this to get your engine running again.

3.) Savor the Moments: As you are working toward your business goals, savor each moment. EXPERIENCE the nooks and crannies. Breathe into the process as you would if you were enjoying a fine wine. Set the intention to focus on the parts of your goals that are enjoyable for you.

4.) Redefine Failure: Instead of focusing on your mistakes, focus on what each experience has to teach you. Every mistake is actually a success that you can learn from. Often the mistakes are what cause us to feel unmotivated. This is natural. When you can embrace the lessons from your mistakes, you can actually feel more energized to use them.

5.) Gather your Tribe: Surround yourself with positive and like-minded FEMpreneurs with similar goals. Celebrate your progress together, share your wins and learning’s with one another. When you are feeling low on energy, go to lunch or coffee with one of your tribe members. Vent, brainstorm and allow her/him to support you to a better place.

Comment on this question:

What are a few of your most recent small wins in your business?

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The 5 FEMpreneur Muscles that are Critical to Your Success

Susan Liddy — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 19:42:20 +0000

Being a FEMpreneur comes with unique challenges yet most of which can be managed and overcome with a little bit of creativity and diligence. Today’s FEMpreneur is a far cry from the “Superwoman” IDEAL from the 80′s. Today’s FEMpreneur doesn’t have to do it ALL, do it PERFECTLY, or get it all done TODAY. Yet, what she does need is a certain set of skills to support her over the long haul. Below are four important FEMpreneur Muscles to begin strengthening ASAP:

Life Balance Muscle – FEMpreneurs are the most passionate people I know. They love what they do, enjoy a fairly steady flow of creativity and are bringing tremendous MEANING to the world. This can easily create the situation of working too hard, too long and too fast. Building your life balance muscles is about time management and priority setting. It is to give yourself the gift of focus while remembering all that is important to you… including your health, relationships and home.
Authenticity Muscle - Be yourself. The more you show who you truly are in your business the more your prospective clients will identify with you and LIKE you. This is about showing your personality in everything that you do… your blogging, your tweeting, your brands and marketing.
Trust Muscle - FEMpreneurs need the willingness to take calculated risks. You need to trust your instincts. Do things differently than you have ever done before… and quite possibly do things differently than ANYONE has done before. You will have naysayers in your life who caste their fear upon you, that you must manage. Building your trust muscles early on will set a foundation for your entire career. Trust muscles are needed at EVERY step of this game.
Learning Muscle - Being a FEMpreneur includes A LOT of learning. And, along with that learning there will be mistakes. There will be moments that you wish you had done something better, more or not at all. This is all about learning. Learning at every step. Learning what works for you and what doesn’t. And, practicing forgiveness at the times that you need too.
Emotional Muscles – Let’s face it, you can’t always get what you want and when you don’t you may feel rejected, disappointed, frustrated, embarrassed or unwanted. As a FEMpreneur, you put yourself at risk of feeling this particular set of feelings on a regular basis. Develop the skill to master these emotions so that they don’t leave you and your business spinning out of control.

Building these five FEMprenuer Muscles will take you a long way to feeling satisfied and fulfilled in your chosen career. Practice them wisely. Practice them often. Practice them religiously. And, always remember what got you into your business in the first place. Likely, you are on a mission and have an important gift to share with the world. Always embrace this meaning and enjoy the process of what you are creating.

Comment on this question:

What FEMpreneur muscle do you need to strengthen the most?

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Benevolence: The Key to Life Happiness?

Susan Liddy — Sat, 21 May 2011 00:19:16 +0000

I woke up this morning with an epiphany. Yes, a MAJOR aha moment greeted me with a smile first thing. This awesome awareness changes everything. It changes how I feel. How I relate to others. It changes how I spend my money and how I run my business.

It comes down to one simple word: Benevolence.

I was interviewed a few times recently and ironically was asked the same question over and over again. The question was along the lines of “What is your theme for this year?” Basically, they wanted to know my intention. On all three interviews I immediately responded, “benevolence”. This response felt really good. It felt right deep within me.

What occurred to me this morning is just how much benevolence can be applied to ALL of our life areas. We can have Relationship Benevolence, Money Benevolence, Parenting Benevolence… gosh, the list goes on and on.

And what is really neat about benevolence is that in its basic definition it is about pure kindness and love. For others, for your body, within your relationships. For the past 7 years I have focused on helping women solve the problem of their fears. BENEVOLENCE. Yes. This is the key. Indeed kindness and love dissolve all fear.

So, I challenge you all with this VERY simple thing…

Today, tomorrow and the next day… set the intention to practice BENEVOLENCE. When faced with a choice ask, “how can I choose in a way that is kind and loving?” When you are emotionally triggered ask, “how can I bring kindness and love into this situation?” If you get bored ask, “what simple act of benevolence can I do right now?” Explore the impact that benevolence can have on your life.

Please let me know how this works for you, by commenting below.

-S

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Susan Liddy is the author of the “Body Benevolence eBook; 8 Weeks to Loving Your Body” and “The Secrets to Ultimate Living; What You Wish You Knew When You Were 20!”. Find more of her tips and articles to create an ultimate life and an extraordinary business here: SusanLiddy.com

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From the Boardroom to the Baby’s Room: How to Ease the Transition

Susan Liddy — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 03:21:43 +0000

Hi everyone! I ran across Laura Owens one day as I was researching data for healthy living. I was ASTOUNDED by the depth of knowledge and VALUE that Laura offered on her websites. So, invited her to guest blog and she said “YES!”.

I am delighted to introduce Laura Owens to you. Enjoy!

From the Boardroom to the Baby’s Room: How to Ease the Transition

By Laura Owens

As the saying goes, stay at home mothers take about one year to adapt to being at home full-time, yet making the transition from career to crib isn’t a cookie cutter journey. Becoming a mother has an enormous impact on a woman’s body, relationships, identity and goals, and leaving the workforce to become a full-time stay at home parent can be just as tumultuous. No matter what our motherhood culture suggests, every woman adapts to the transition to home in her own way. Yet, mothers who move from the boardroom to the baby’s room can make the emotional transition smoother with these suggestions:

Staying Home Full-Time Mirrors First Time Parenting

Nina Barrett, author of I Wished Someone Had Told Me: A Realistic Guide to Early Motherhood, compares the motherhood transition to child birth, writing, “Just as my body had stretched and ached to bear this child, so my whole life, my relationships, my ambitions and my self-image, would have to rework itself around the baby’s presence.”

Having a baby does change everything. Every aspect of a woman’s life is abruptly pulled apart and reorganized to create a new normal, add leaving a career to the physical and emotional responsibilities of motherhood and many women experience an identity crisis of huge proportion. To ease the transition it’s helpful for mothers to have a paradigm shift, a radical change in how they view the expectations of motherhood and being at home. To begin, mothers can avoid focusing on how they “should” feel and instead simply acknowledge and accept how they do feel.

Not all Parents Feel the Same

Despite the popular belief that all mothers eventually adapt to being home full-time, parents aren’t robots, they’re individuals. Not every mother enjoys the day to day domesticity that replaces the mental stimulation she might have felt with a career. Yet if a mother is completely honest with herself, avoiding comparing how she actually feels to how other mothers say they feel, if she tries to stop fitting some unrealistic motherhood “mold,” she’ll ease some anxiety and frustration during her transition.

While a mother’s aunt, sister, friend or neighbor might seem to be swimming in domestic bliss at home with their kids, some mothers never feel entirely satisfied after they leave the workforce. It’s critically important for mothers to avoid defining “a good mother” by the degree to which they like being at home. A mother’s love isn’t quantifiable according to how much she enjoys being at home versus how much she enjoys spending time at her job, with friends, her spouse, alone, etc.

It’s natural for people, and stay at home mothers are no exception, to intuitively crave balance in their life. Human dynamics are simply too complex to pigeon hole people with rules like “It takes one year to transition to being a stay at home mom,” or “All stay at home mothers eventually feel so grateful that they can be at home, that the negatives disappear.”

Becoming Introspective to Evaluate Needs

It’s helpful for stay at home mothers to become introspective, conducting for example, their own internal “climate control” survey, a concept often used by corporations to gauge their employee’s overall satisfaction. Mothers can ask themselves the following, answering honestly and avoiding weighing their responses against how they think other parents might respond:

Are you content at home full time? If not, why?
Are you content being alone with the kids most days or do you crave more adult interaction?
Would you like to return to the workplace in some capacity? If so, when?
Do you feel fulfilled emotionally?
Do you have any psychological or physical distress as a result of chronic illness, anxiety or depression? Are you seeking help?
Do you receive regular emotional and physical (caregiving, errands etc.) support from your spouse, family and friends?

Would you change anything in your circumstances? If so, what?

Mothers need to dig deep and to discard the notion that acknowledging and accepting their individual needs is somehow “selfish” and will hurt their family. A happy family includes a happy mother, period.

Co-Parenting and Making Practical Changes

Co-parenting goes beyond sharing child care, it means couples work together to share, equally or in a manner mutually acceptable, all the responsibilities in running a home. Parents are more likely to create a cohesive family when they make it a habit to discuss their feelings, then make changes in their life as feelings and circumstances change. A mother might for example, want more time to herself during the week and ask to budget for an afternoon baby-sitter, or she might want more help with the kids at night when Dad wants to relax. Dad might want a monthly date night or need to feel more involved in decisions about the kids. Either way, everyone’s opinion counts.

Mom might consider asking Dad to come home from work early once a week, asking family and friends for help, working from home or returning to the workplace in some capacity. Parents might create a baby-sitting co-op by posting flyers at their church, pre-school or child-parent activity center, or she might want to take night classes to earn a degree in a new field, organize a neighborhood walking club or joining an affordable gym that offers childcare. The idea is to for both parents to listen to the other, and to find practical compromises.

Joining a Parenting Group

Connecting with other parents is key to making a smoother transition, and one size mom’s group doesn’t fit all. While one parent group might appeal to at-home mothers, another might attract working mothers, Christians, single parents, mothers of color etc. Parents can network through their church, Mommy and Me classes, online, the library, with neighbors or friends. Mothers are more likely to adapt to the transition to home when they join at least one circle of parents, possibly one that mirrors their personal view of how motherhood and life “fit” together. This isn’t to suggest only “like-minded” mothers can connect easily, but it is rewarding to find parents who share similar perspectives (e.g. Mothers & More, La Leche, Moms Club, Mocha Moms, MOPS, Moms of Multiples).

Making the transition to a full time stay at home mother is a challenging change in life that is often idealized by society. While mothers at home might appreciate the opportunity, the experience doesn’t necessarily feel the same for every woman. When stay at home mothers accept that the transition from the baby to the boardroom isn’t necessarily a cookie cutter experience, when they regularly communicate with their partner how they feel and make changes in their circumstances as needed, they’re more likely to adapt and enjoy being at home full time .

Copyright Laura Owens. Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.

Laura G Owens: Writer

Laura Owens is a freelance writer and essayist. She writes articles to empower people to improve the quality of their lives; her areas of interest include: Natural health, Brain & mood balancing, Hormone replacement, Motherhood & identity, Women’s issues, Women’s health, Psychology, Spirituality and Social trends.

Goals and Rewards go together.

Susan Liddy — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 05:56:27 +0000

Goals are not only a wonderful way to create success in life, they also come with GREAT reward. Press Play and the comment below.

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Making excuses actually creates pain.

Susan Liddy — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 20:17:13 +0000

When we are making excuses, we are basically trying to get away from a negative feeling that we don’t want to feel. For example, perhaps we know we should get up and exercise, yet we’ll make the excuse that we’re too tired to avoid feeling the “pain” of working out.

Excuse making actually creates more pain. Here’s how. Press Play.

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Procrastinating about your goals? Well, what’s your excuse?

Susan Liddy — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 19:34:13 +0000

Sometimes accomplishing your goals feels frustrating or overwhelming and so you make excuses. Excuses that get you off the hook from having to deal with what you must do to accomplish your goal. What are your favorite excuses? (AKA “Little You Reasoning”.) Press Play and then please comment.

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Stop Procrastinating! Accomplish your Goals so you can feel Joy.

Susan Liddy — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 21:57:47 +0000

Instead of procrastinating and associating a lot of discomfort with your goals, embrace the JOY that comes with achieving them. This is a KEY to lasting motivation. Press Play and then please comment.

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An Oprah Winfrey Story

Susan Liddy — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 04:53:42 +0000

Here is a little story about a little African American girl who grew up the achieve GREATNESS. Every thing that this little girl had in her, YOU have in you too! Use this inspiring story to shift into the belief that you can create what you want in your life. Press Play and then please comment.

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