Susan Liddy International

Astonishing Women Leaders: Emotionally Intelligent and more

Susan Liddy — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:38:27 +0000

Are you a woman who leads? Whether it’s managing a team at work, coaching the cheerleading squad, or running your own business… strong leaders have one thing in common. They know how to motivate other people to action!

When you think of women who lead, who comes to mind? Maybe Oprah Winfrey, Indira Ghandi, Margaret Thatcher… fearless females who stand out as championing a cause or motivating others for lasting change. What about people from your everyday life? We all know at least one woman who stands out as being an exceptional leader among her peers.

How about you… have you always wanted to lead a group? Maybe you already act as a leader in your own life and just need some reassurance that you’re in the right role.

Here are some common traits of women who know how to take charge and empower others for success!

1. Women leaders are goal-oriented. The sole point of organizing a group of people is for a common purpose- a goal! To be a woman who knows how to move people to action means that you must be purpose-driven. Natural born leaders have both a long- and short-term vision for the future. What does the group intend to do? What steps need to be taken to get there? Put a strong leader in charge and you will quickly see change take place – starting with a goal.

2. Women leaders know how to communicate effectively. Great bosses, influential presidents, and even strong scout leaders know how to effectively motivate people through words and gestures. Not only are they good at saying what they mean, but strong leaders excel at speaking in front of a group. They know how to use both verbal and nonverbal skills to convey powerful, rousing emotions. And in the arena of interpersonal communication… strong leaders remain fair, impartial, positive and empowering when interacting with others.

3. Women leaders display high emotional intelligence. We spoke a bit about effective communication; strong leaders become this way because they have learned to rise above petty thoughts and steer clear of self defeating inner dialogue (coaches call this self talk). Maintaining high emotional intelligence means these women are more apt to remain cool and in control in a crisis; not let negative influences bring them down and not find themselves spinning in those self defeating cycles that so many of us find ourselves in. Instead, they empower their thoughts to achieve more in less time, to guide others to do the same and to get more accomplished using the people and resources available!

4. Women leaders know how to delegate. Weak leaders tend to micro-manage; that’s when you assign a task to someone else but then, instead of trusting them to get the job done, focus all of your energy nitpicking and criticizing. A good leader puts her trusted team members to work so she can free up her time to make long-range plans for the future. The strong female in charge knows how important it is to have key people in her corner who are well suited to the jobs that she needs them to complete. This keeps her at the helm of the plan, focused on long range goals and ensuring that the group can continue to maximize productivity, stay motivated for the future and attain everything they set out to!

Finally, all great leaders understand how important life balance and self care is to achieving their goals, staying healthy and leading others effectively. Above all else, engaging in a healthy lifestyle and drawing a line between your work and personal life, is critical to becoming, and being, the best leader possible.

Comment on this question:

When you think of amazing women leaders, who comes to mind?

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Susan Liddy, MA is an Emotional Intelligence trainer and coach for entrepreneurial women. As CEO of Susan Liddy International, Susan has spent the past decade empowering extraordinary women to ultimate success. Do you want to be an extraordinary leader? Apply today to qualify for a complimentary Boost your Emotional Intelligence Assessment and Strategy Session.

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Emotional Shifting: Create Motivation Whenever You Need It

Susan Liddy — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 19:40:54 +0000

Ever have this happen to you? You are full steam ahead, fully motivated and engaged with your business and then suddenly you get a case of the “lazies.” Feeling unmotivated from time to time is normal, yet consistent lack of motivation will lower your morale and leave you feeling icky about your business. More often than not, when you find yourself in a constant state of “not feeling like it,” you were likely emotionally triggered at some point and spinning on a Cycle of Disempowerment.

Motivation is a big challenge for many FEMpreneurs and it is critical to running an extraordinary business. Many of my clients ask me why it is so hard to stay motivated, and my reply is always, that we forget the WHY of our goals. We lose sight of the bigger picture, the meaning behind the desire and instead we wallow in a challenging circumstance or recent disappointment, which leaves us unmotivated and or lackadaisical at best.

Sigmund Freud’s Pain/Pleasure Principle offers an explanation for this. People make decisions based upon their emotions. People will generally choose what will create less pain and more pleasure. Whenever you associate “pain” with something that is good for your business, you put yourself on course for procrastinating and giving up on it.

Every FEMpreneur will experience disappointment, “failure”, rejection or other difficult feelings that can lead to lack of motivation. A key success factor for business is the ability to shift your emotions to positive and motivating states when you need to. You’ve heard me say before, “don’t think, just do” is an effective strategy for getting yourself out of a rut and back on track. This is just one easy way to create an emotional shift when you need one.

Here are 5 more emotional shifting tips to instantly create motivation:

1.) Acknowledge the Small Wins: It’s easy to acknowledge the big wins, yet the majority of goal accomplishment is actually made up of “small wins”. Remember to marinate in the good feelings of every little accomplishment as you move toward your goal, and especially when you are feeling particularly unmotivated.

2.) Remember the Meaning: When defining your business goals, don’t just focus on what you want and when you want it. Focus on WHY you want it. What greater meaning does your goal have for your business? How does your goal make you, your business or the world a better place? Use this to get your engine running again.

3.) Savor the Moments: As you are working toward your business goals, savor each moment. EXPERIENCE the nooks and crannies. Breathe into the process as you would if you were enjoying a fine wine. Set the intention to focus on the parts of your goals that are enjoyable for you.

4.) Redefine Failure: Instead of focusing on your mistakes, focus on what each experience has to teach you. Every mistake is actually a success that you can learn from. Often the mistakes are what cause us to feel unmotivated. This is natural. When you can embrace the lessons from your mistakes, you can actually feel more energized to use them.

5.) Gather your Tribe: Surround yourself with positive and like-minded FEMpreneurs with similar goals. Celebrate your progress together, share your wins and learning’s with one another. When you are feeling low on energy, go to lunch or coffee with one of your tribe members. Vent, brainstorm and allow her/him to support you to a better place.

Comment on this question:

What are a few of your most recent small wins in your business?

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The 5 FEMpreneur Muscles that are Critical to Your Success

Susan Liddy — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 19:42:20 +0000

Being a FEMpreneur comes with unique challenges yet most of which can be managed and overcome with a little bit of creativity and diligence. Today’s FEMpreneur is a far cry from the “Superwoman” IDEAL from the 80′s. Today’s FEMpreneur doesn’t have to do it ALL, do it PERFECTLY, or get it all done TODAY. Yet, what she does need is a certain set of skills to support her over the long haul. Below are four important FEMpreneur Muscles to begin strengthening ASAP:

Life Balance Muscle – FEMpreneurs are the most passionate people I know. They love what they do, enjoy a fairly steady flow of creativity and are bringing tremendous MEANING to the world. This can easily create the situation of working too hard, too long and too fast. Building your life balance muscles is about time management and priority setting. It is to give yourself the gift of focus while remembering all that is important to you… including your health, relationships and home.
Authenticity Muscle - Be yourself. The more you show who you truly are in your business the more your prospective clients will identify with you and LIKE you. This is about showing your personality in everything that you do… your blogging, your tweeting, your brands and marketing.
Trust Muscle - FEMpreneurs need the willingness to take calculated risks. You need to trust your instincts. Do things differently than you have ever done before… and quite possibly do things differently than ANYONE has done before. You will have naysayers in your life who caste their fear upon you, that you must manage. Building your trust muscles early on will set a foundation for your entire career. Trust muscles are needed at EVERY step of this game.
Learning Muscle - Being a FEMpreneur includes A LOT of learning. And, along with that learning there will be mistakes. There will be moments that you wish you had done something better, more or not at all. This is all about learning. Learning at every step. Learning what works for you and what doesn’t. And, practicing forgiveness at the times that you need too.
Emotional Muscles – Let’s face it, you can’t always get what you want and when you don’t you may feel rejected, disappointed, frustrated, embarrassed or unwanted. As a FEMpreneur, you put yourself at risk of feeling this particular set of feelings on a regular basis. Develop the skill to master these emotions so that they don’t leave you and your business spinning out of control.

Building these five FEMprenuer Muscles will take you a long way to feeling satisfied and fulfilled in your chosen career. Practice them wisely. Practice them often. Practice them religiously. And, always remember what got you into your business in the first place. Likely, you are on a mission and have an important gift to share with the world. Always embrace this meaning and enjoy the process of what you are creating.

Comment on this question:

What FEMpreneur muscle do you need to strengthen the most?

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Benevolence: The Key to Life Happiness?

Susan Liddy — Sat, 21 May 2011 00:19:16 +0000

I woke up this morning with an epiphany. Yes, a MAJOR aha moment greeted me with a smile first thing. This awesome awareness changes everything. It changes how I feel. How I relate to others. It changes how I spend my money and how I run my business.

It comes down to one simple word: Benevolence.

I was interviewed a few times recently and ironically was asked the same question over and over again. The question was along the lines of “What is your theme for this year?” Basically, they wanted to know my intention. On all three interviews I immediately responded, “benevolence”. This response felt really good. It felt right deep within me.

What occurred to me this morning is just how much benevolence can be applied to ALL of our life areas. We can have Relationship Benevolence, Money Benevolence, Parenting Benevolence… gosh, the list goes on and on.

And what is really neat about benevolence is that in its basic definition it is about pure kindness and love. For others, for your body, within your relationships. For the past 7 years I have focused on helping women solve the problem of their fears. BENEVOLENCE. Yes. This is the key. Indeed kindness and love dissolve all fear.

So, I challenge you all with this VERY simple thing…

Today, tomorrow and the next day… set the intention to practice BENEVOLENCE. When faced with a choice ask, “how can I choose in a way that is kind and loving?” When you are emotionally triggered ask, “how can I bring kindness and love into this situation?” If you get bored ask, “what simple act of benevolence can I do right now?” Explore the impact that benevolence can have on your life.

Please let me know how this works for you, by commenting below.

-S

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Susan Liddy is the author of the “Body Benevolence eBook; 8 Weeks to Loving Your Body” and “The Secrets to Ultimate Living; What You Wish You Knew When You Were 20!”. Find more of her tips and articles to create an ultimate life and an extraordinary business here: SusanLiddy.com

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How to Achieve Pure Body Benevolence

Susan Liddy — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 19:53:53 +0000

Pure Body Benevolence™… Absolute kindness and love for your body. What would that feel like for you? And, what does that mean for you?

For me, to absolutely be kind and loving toward my body means a few things. It means…

Eating well and drinking plenty of water.
Getting the rest that I need (and deserve).
Scheduling and keeping my medical appointments.
Looking myself in the mirror with a smile.
Wearing clothes that fit me properly.
Slowing things down to a moderate yet productive pace.
Acknowledging the my gifts, blessings and accomplishments.

And, how I get to feel when I do all of that is…

Energized yet at peace.
Confident.
Happy and joyful.
A sense of Freedom.
Secure within myself.
Proud.

Gosh, Pure Body Benevolence sounds really GREAT doesn’t it?!

So why is it so hard to stay committed to a body benevolence program? For some, it comes down to a sense of unworthiness. After all, if you don’t really feel that you are worthy of kindness and love, then you certainly won’t treat your body that way. For others, it comes down to a lack of emotional mastery. That is, the inability to manage your painful and uncomfortable emotions and instead resorting to eating or not eating, to feel better. And, sometimes not committing to Body Benevolence is simply about lack of time management and priority setting. Lets face it, WE are busy people these days! With an already super long ToDo list, how in the world does one fit all that love and kindness in?!

No matter what the reason(s) are that you are unable to stay committed to healthy living and loving your body, the VERY FIRST STEP is to acknowledge it. Acknowledge it without any self blaming, shaming or judging that you may normally do. Step back and simply observe that you are NOT committing to Body Benevolence. Skip over the WHY for now and instead focus on the REWARDS. Re-read my list above… THOSE are the REWARDS. Keep your eye on the prize, so to speak.

Then answer this ONE question: what small step am I willing to take TODAY toward Body Benevolence?

Then DO IT. Do it over and over again. Focus on that ONE step until you can FEEL those rewards. Marinate in the rewards. Wallow in the rewards!

When you feel you have formed a new habit, then pick another small step you are willing to take and repeat the process.

Don’t worry about how long this takes you. In truth, right now, you aren’t doing ANYTHING so just one small step is a HUGE leap in the right direction! And, once you are on your way to regular body benevolence, then go back and revisit your WHY… why it wasn’t something that was natural to you… why it was hard for you to make the commitment. After experiencing just a bit of success you will have connected with the FEELINGS of that success which will help you to stay motivated to continue.

Have fun with this and comment below to let us know how you are doing.

Comment on this question:

What SMALL STEP will you commit to TODAY to practice Body Benevolence?

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Body Benevolence: How to stay motivated with a new exercise routine

Susan Liddy — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 23:25:38 +0000

After a whole winter of being mostly horizontal, I decided to resume my running and hiking last week. I am usually a very active person, yet this winter was different for me. The cold weather kept me longing to stay in bed longer, cozy under the covers, the rain made for good movie days and my induction into the “Hall of Perimenopause”… well, need I say more?

Needless to say, today after a week of exercising… I am tired and my body is sore.

I wanted to share this with all of you to…

#1) let you know that I am indeed human, and

#2) support those of you out there who are re-embarking upon their exercise program. Maybe you are feeling tired and sore right now too.

In these moments, its easy to think about how much a literal pain in the butt this whole exercising thing is. I mean, really, aren’t I doing this to feel BETTER?!?!? Yet, I KNOW, that if I focus on the pain and discomfort of it right now that it will eventually sneak up on me… it will give me excuses to not do the next workout… it will unmotivate me.

So, here is what I am doing to help myself through the horizontal to vertical transition:

1.) Drinking lots of water. Drinking water helps me sleep. It helps me to feel replenished and energized.

2.) Eating healthy snacks. I seem to be a bit hungrier than usual this week, so I am snacking more. Apples, bananas, walnuts, yogurt… all work well for me.

3.) Getting to bed earlier. Since my body needs more recovery time right now, I am making every attempt to get to bed a decent hour… earlier than usual.

4.) Slowing down. I am consciously walking slowly, thinking slowly and letting things go that I normally wouldn’t, all to allow myself to recover even while I’m up working.

5.) Acknowledging myself. Truth is, I feel pretty darn proud of myself right now. This isn’t the time to beat myself up for falling off track. It’s the time to really feel good about the fact that I have begun again… I am doing it!!! That feels really good and makes me want to continue.

6.) Remembering the good stuff. Okay, so even though right now I am sore and tired, the good news is that it won’t last forever. I am doing all of this to feel BETTER. To feel energized. To feel healthy. This actually excites me. I have big goals and lots of people whom I love and want to spend time with. The rewards that come with regular exercise provide me with the boost I need to stay the course.

So, there you have it. Back on track. Amazing what just a few minutes of mindfulness can create. Yes, I still feel sore and tired, yet it doesn’t seem to matter as much now. How about you?

Comment on this question:

What do you when you feel sore and tired from a new workout?

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From the Boardroom to the Baby’s Room: How to Ease the Transition

Susan Liddy — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 03:21:43 +0000

Hi everyone! I ran across Laura Owens one day as I was researching data for healthy living. I was ASTOUNDED by the depth of knowledge and VALUE that Laura offered on her websites. So, invited her to guest blog and she said “YES!”.

I am delighted to introduce Laura Owens to you. Enjoy!

From the Boardroom to the Baby’s Room: How to Ease the Transition

By Laura Owens

As the saying goes, stay at home mothers take about one year to adapt to being at home full-time, yet making the transition from career to crib isn’t a cookie cutter journey. Becoming a mother has an enormous impact on a woman’s body, relationships, identity and goals, and leaving the workforce to become a full-time stay at home parent can be just as tumultuous. No matter what our motherhood culture suggests, every woman adapts to the transition to home in her own way. Yet, mothers who move from the boardroom to the baby’s room can make the emotional transition smoother with these suggestions:

Staying Home Full-Time Mirrors First Time Parenting

Nina Barrett, author of I Wished Someone Had Told Me: A Realistic Guide to Early Motherhood, compares the motherhood transition to child birth, writing, “Just as my body had stretched and ached to bear this child, so my whole life, my relationships, my ambitions and my self-image, would have to rework itself around the baby’s presence.”

Having a baby does change everything. Every aspect of a woman’s life is abruptly pulled apart and reorganized to create a new normal, add leaving a career to the physical and emotional responsibilities of motherhood and many women experience an identity crisis of huge proportion. To ease the transition it’s helpful for mothers to have a paradigm shift, a radical change in how they view the expectations of motherhood and being at home. To begin, mothers can avoid focusing on how they “should” feel and instead simply acknowledge and accept how they do feel.

Not all Parents Feel the Same

Despite the popular belief that all mothers eventually adapt to being home full-time, parents aren’t robots, they’re individuals. Not every mother enjoys the day to day domesticity that replaces the mental stimulation she might have felt with a career. Yet if a mother is completely honest with herself, avoiding comparing how she actually feels to how other mothers say they feel, if she tries to stop fitting some unrealistic motherhood “mold,” she’ll ease some anxiety and frustration during her transition.

While a mother’s aunt, sister, friend or neighbor might seem to be swimming in domestic bliss at home with their kids, some mothers never feel entirely satisfied after they leave the workforce. It’s critically important for mothers to avoid defining “a good mother” by the degree to which they like being at home. A mother’s love isn’t quantifiable according to how much she enjoys being at home versus how much she enjoys spending time at her job, with friends, her spouse, alone, etc.

It’s natural for people, and stay at home mothers are no exception, to intuitively crave balance in their life. Human dynamics are simply too complex to pigeon hole people with rules like “It takes one year to transition to being a stay at home mom,” or “All stay at home mothers eventually feel so grateful that they can be at home, that the negatives disappear.”

Becoming Introspective to Evaluate Needs

It’s helpful for stay at home mothers to become introspective, conducting for example, their own internal “climate control” survey, a concept often used by corporations to gauge their employee’s overall satisfaction. Mothers can ask themselves the following, answering honestly and avoiding weighing their responses against how they think other parents might respond:

Are you content at home full time? If not, why?
Are you content being alone with the kids most days or do you crave more adult interaction?
Would you like to return to the workplace in some capacity? If so, when?
Do you feel fulfilled emotionally?
Do you have any psychological or physical distress as a result of chronic illness, anxiety or depression? Are you seeking help?
Do you receive regular emotional and physical (caregiving, errands etc.) support from your spouse, family and friends?

Would you change anything in your circumstances? If so, what?

Mothers need to dig deep and to discard the notion that acknowledging and accepting their individual needs is somehow “selfish” and will hurt their family. A happy family includes a happy mother, period.

Co-Parenting and Making Practical Changes

Co-parenting goes beyond sharing child care, it means couples work together to share, equally or in a manner mutually acceptable, all the responsibilities in running a home. Parents are more likely to create a cohesive family when they make it a habit to discuss their feelings, then make changes in their life as feelings and circumstances change. A mother might for example, want more time to herself during the week and ask to budget for an afternoon baby-sitter, or she might want more help with the kids at night when Dad wants to relax. Dad might want a monthly date night or need to feel more involved in decisions about the kids. Either way, everyone’s opinion counts.

Mom might consider asking Dad to come home from work early once a week, asking family and friends for help, working from home or returning to the workplace in some capacity. Parents might create a baby-sitting co-op by posting flyers at their church, pre-school or child-parent activity center, or she might want to take night classes to earn a degree in a new field, organize a neighborhood walking club or joining an affordable gym that offers childcare. The idea is to for both parents to listen to the other, and to find practical compromises.

Joining a Parenting Group

Connecting with other parents is key to making a smoother transition, and one size mom’s group doesn’t fit all. While one parent group might appeal to at-home mothers, another might attract working mothers, Christians, single parents, mothers of color etc. Parents can network through their church, Mommy and Me classes, online, the library, with neighbors or friends. Mothers are more likely to adapt to the transition to home when they join at least one circle of parents, possibly one that mirrors their personal view of how motherhood and life “fit” together. This isn’t to suggest only “like-minded” mothers can connect easily, but it is rewarding to find parents who share similar perspectives (e.g. Mothers & More, La Leche, Moms Club, Mocha Moms, MOPS, Moms of Multiples).

Making the transition to a full time stay at home mother is a challenging change in life that is often idealized by society. While mothers at home might appreciate the opportunity, the experience doesn’t necessarily feel the same for every woman. When stay at home mothers accept that the transition from the baby to the boardroom isn’t necessarily a cookie cutter experience, when they regularly communicate with their partner how they feel and make changes in their circumstances as needed, they’re more likely to adapt and enjoy being at home full time .

Copyright Laura Owens. Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.

Laura G Owens: Writer

Laura Owens is a freelance writer and essayist. She writes articles to empower people to improve the quality of their lives; her areas of interest include: Natural health, Brain & mood balancing, Hormone replacement, Motherhood & identity, Women’s issues, Women’s health, Psychology, Spirituality and Social trends.

Body Benevolence: 14 Ways to Improve Your Body Image Perception

Susan Liddy — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:19:24 +0000

Nurturing Body Benevolence™ does more that just help you to feel good. According to NationalEatingDisorders.org, negative body image often results in:

Eating disorders
Depression
Isolation
Low Self Esteem
Obsession with weight loss

Replacing your negative thoughts and feelings with positive and self affirming ones is the key to developing an empowering body image and the practice of Body Benevolence. Below are tips and suggestions to help you improve your Body Image Perception:

Determine your healthy weight – Identify women through out history with your similar frame who were considered beatuiful.
Exercise and eat to be healthy. Health and energy is key to loving your body.
Find your “beauty balance.” Define your version of beauty starting from within you.
Focus on how your body serves you and all the wonderful ways it supports you.
Acknowledge yourself – your accomplishments, big and small.
Engage in fun, meaningful activities that help you feel alive!
Purchase clothes that are comfortable and fit well.
Stop comparing yourself to others; embrace your worth.
Build your self confidence by taking risks and stepping into life!
Get to know yourself on the inside. Discover what you love and what you stand for.
Smile at yourself and say “I Love You” in the mirror, every day!
Hire a physical trainer &/or a nutrition consultant to learn how to take care of your body.
Work with a personal stylist to learn how to highlight your features.
Become a Media Critic.

Comment on this question:

What do you love about your body?

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What do you think about your body image?

Susan Liddy — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 20:21:54 +0000

In this video I share with you My Body Malevolence Story. For a very long time I didn’t like my body nor treat my body with benevolence. I hope that my story inspires you to shift into pure love for yourself and your body, and a Challenge for YOU. Press play and then please comment.

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Goals and Rewards go together.

Susan Liddy — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 05:56:27 +0000

Goals are not only a wonderful way to create success in life, they also come with GREAT reward. Press Play and the comment below.

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