Smells like the inside of a prosthetic leg

Big, fat, white...lighthouse.

2007-02-22T22:33:00.000-08:00

I like lighthouses. This one is on Ocracoke Island which is part of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I found this photo while going through the massive collection of prints I've accumulated over the years. I'll post others as I come across them.

Mex

Say what?

2006-11-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

I found this sign above a toilet in Argentina a week or so ago. I'm not sure what it means but neither sentence appears to be English.

2006 Kirkland Triathlon Race Report

2006-09-20T00:57:00.000-07:00

I completed my first triathlon, the Kirkland Triathlon in Kirkland, Wash., on Sunday, September 17. It was a sprint distance race, which includes a half-mile swim, 12-mile bike ride and 5K run. I started training for the race in early July immediately after completing my first 10K. I worked on the three events in fits and starts over that 10-week period and, looking back, I see what was helpful and what wasn’t. Here’s my write-up of the various race segments and transitions plus my lessons learned.

Pre-race

It was a chilly morning and dark when I got out of bed at 4:30. I hadn’t slept all that well dreaming about different parts of the race while dealing with nerves. I went downstairs to stretch and have a light breakfast. I loosened up and ate my half bagel while watching an episode of The Crocodile Hunter.

Mugs got out of bed around 5 to get ready for a morning filled with wild bouts of cheering separated by long stretches of standing and waiting for me to finish a leg. She’s a trooper that wife of mine and her support was outstanding. Thanks buddy.

It was dark as I set-up my transition. I kept going back over it to make sure everything was there in the right order. I kept telling myself, “Just get dressed as fast as you did when that girl’s Mom came home and you’ll be fine.” I settled down and got read for my swim.

Swim leg – 00:18:49

It says a lot about the air temperature when you put your feet in the lake and actually find it to be warm. The morning wasn’t actually cold but it wasn’t summertime either. I was one of the few who did not wear a wetsuit and I would soon be regretting it.

We did a water start meaning you wade out with the others in your wave and stand there for five minutes until they blow the start horn. Five minutes it isn’t really a long time, unless you’re standing waist deep in a cold lake at 7:30 in the morning wondering if it’s too late to back out. It is of course so I dunk my head to get acclimated to the water and wait. When the horn sounds, I’m off with about 60 other men and women swimming on all sides of me.

A wetsuit provides two advantages in a swim race. It adds buoyancy allowing for faster, smoother swimming on the top of the water and it also insulates against the cold. Having neither of these advantages I did the half-mile cold and dragging ending up well behind the others and even getting caught by the leaders of the following wave. While being slowest isn’t fun, the positive byproduct is not having to swim in the crowd the whole time. I’ll spend more training for the swim next time. And I’m getting a wet suit.

I reach the shore, stumble out over the rocks and lumber on too the bike.

Transition 1 – 00:03:53

Ok, in order I now have to gather my senses, remove my cap and goggles, find my stuff, dry my feet, put on socks, put on my shoes, put on my shirt/bib, sunglasses, gloves, helmet, grab the bike and I’m off. I considered bringing shorts but they weren’t necessary. The swimsuit worked out very well. I think I can take at least a minute off of this time in the next race. Possibly more.

Bike – 00:48:13

I’d ridden the course several times in the weeks leading up to the race. The beginning is two miles of flat which I was thankful for. Coming out of the water, all of the blood was in my upper body meaning my legs were not ready to be cranking away on my bike. They’re surprised at the sudden change of activity and I’m paying for it. I feel like a slug struggling to pedal and get some speed. There are hills coming and I’ve got to get going.

The first hill is fine and I make the left heading along the ridge overlooking the lake. I passed a few people on this flat stretch and downshifted for a short but steep hill coming. My legs were feeling better at this point but I was crawling up the hill. I wasn’t alone thankfully. The next seven miles or so are like this with short stretches of flat or downhill sections leading into turns that head up. The first substantial hill was the only other time (aside from the swim start) I questioned the wisdom of entering the race. I didn’t dwell on it long as I was distracted by the sound of a tire deflating. It wasn’t mine thankfully but that of the guy immediately in front of me. I’m not sure what happened but he went from fine to zero air pressure in about three seconds. If he hit something it was a one shot deal. No mechanical problems for me on this leg.

The course ends with a few loooong straight aways into a few miles of downhill back to the transition. I’m getting better at staying low and cranking into the downhills but I still ride the brakes a bit. It’s better than it used to be but it needs to stop if I want to get a better time.

Looking back on the ride, I realize I was having a lot of fun. Getting a bike that fits me better will probably only enhance the experience.

Transition 2 – 00:01:07

Rack bike, remove helmet and gloves, run away.

5K – 00:26:11

The run is my strongest event and what I’ve done the most of this year. I was feeling pretty good about my prospects on the run coming into the tri having finished a 5K the week before in a personal best 00:22:24. I was understandably running slower this morning and suffered a bit from not doing any bike-to-run training. I found a comfortable pace about a half mile into the mercifully flat course. I knew there was no way I could repeat my 22 min performance but I was doing ok. I would be happier if I had come closer to an 8 min mile but considering the two preceding events, I think I did ok.

Total time – 01:38:13

My goal coming into the race was to be under 1:45:00 and I accomplished that with time to spare. I see the value of training for all aspects of the race, including transitions and the physical demands of quick change from one event to another on my body. My goal for the 2007 race is at or under 01:30:00.

DOT Dictionary of Occupational Titles Index0

2006-07-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

This is special. If you've ever wanted to be a Weft Straightener or a Tripe Cooker, then this sight is for you.

Cracking WEP

2006-06-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

In my research for work, I came across this pic:

I always wanted to draw a comic... so I am.

2006-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Defenestrate Your Brain

Look to the right for its permanent link.

Please pay attention..

2006-03-16T11:37:00.000-08:00

..your sea urchin.

God made me post this

2006-03-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Science & Technology at Scientific American.com: 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense -- Opponents of evolution want to make a place for creationism by tearing down real science, but their arguments don't hold up

"Time and again, science has shown that methodological naturalism can push back ignorance, finding increasingly detailed and informative answers to mysteries that once seemed impenetrable: the nature of light, the causes of disease, how the brain works. Evolution is doing the same with the riddle of how the living world took shape. Creationism, by any name, adds nothing of intellectual value to the effort."

Is it just me?

2006-03-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else bothered that the advertising folks selling Lamisil and Mucinex have animated foot fungus and phlegm in thier new commercials providing them limbs, furniture and a witty repartee?

Piiiiiiiiigs innnnn spaaaaaaaace...

2006-02-27T17:27:00.000-08:00

I love pictures.

Fun facts about Colorado

2006-02-20T16:19:00.000-08:00

Good luck in 'RADO J & A!
Anagrams: Cool Road; Loco Road (one and the same? Maybe.)

It is the Centenial State. I guess that's cool.

The official state dinosaur is the Stegosaurus.

The state motto is "Nothing without Providence"

Colorado is a "Four Corners State" touching its southwestern corner with Utah, New Mexico and Arizona.

Colorado is the only state to turn down hosting the Olympics (1976)

Has more microbreweries per capita than any other state.

In Fruita, the town folk celebrate "Mike the Headless Chicken Day". A chicken that didn't know when to quit, Mike lived for four years after his owner, L.A. Olsen, chopped off his head in 1945. Tough son of a bitch.

The 13th step of the state capital building in Denver is exactly 1 mile high above sea level. The 12th Step is Carrying the Message

Boulder has more used bookstores per capita than any other city in the country.

Colfax Avenue in Denver is the longest continuous street in America.

Colorado has the highest mean altitude of all the states. The friendliest altitude can be found in Washington State.

The United States Federal Government owns more than 1/3 of the land (15 million acres) in Colorado. (Ted Turner owns the rest.)

Boulder is the home of the Ultimate Players Association.

Winter Olympics

2006-02-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've been watching the Winter Olympics here and there and have a few observations.

1. If you have the availability to watch live, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation blows NBC away in coverage. Same sports action without the sappy tragic athlete vignettes.

2. Two person Luge is a really odd event.

3. Curling is actually fun to watch and really easy to understand. Kinda like Bocce on ice.

4. The American women's snowboarding team can really ride...and they're pretty hot too.

5. Even with the horrible crashes, ski jumping still seems like a good idea.

WPXI.com - News - Pitt Student Suffers Deadly Fall At Party

2006-02-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

This is how we fucking party in Wexford!

After several minutes...

2006-02-10T00:52:00.000-08:00

...the officer told them to stop and get dressed.

Sharing the love!

2006-02-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this blog on my laptop while sitting at the airport. Amazing, I know, but the cool thing is that I figured out how to get my laptop to connect to the net via my bluetooth cell phone. Granted the speed is a bit like watching scrambled porn. You really have to want it. (115kbps, est)

Here's what to do.

1. Connect to your Sony Ericsson Z520a Cingular phone via bluetooth. Figure it out for yourself you lazy ass.

2. Create a new dial-up connection, with the bluetooth modem as the hardware, and *99***2# as the phone number. No need for a username and password.

3. Connect, and savor what would have been the Mother of all High Speed Connections back in 1987. In fact, play some Duran Duran in your iTunes while you surf. Maybe drink a Tab.

You're in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

2006-02-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

As you enter the SHOWROOM, perform a rolling dodge to the left. Grab a free PAPER TAPE MEASURE and a handful of IKEA EMBLAZONED GOLF PENCILS from the kiosk near the entryway. The PENCILS serve quite well as ranged weapons, but it will take some time to master their use.

Who cares about Bob Woodruff?

2006-02-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

These soldiers make a very good point.

Your daily "My Life Could Be Worse" moment

2006-01-31T18:17:00.000-08:00

The next time you're feeling down click here. You'll feel better about your life instantly.

2006-01-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

drinking

singing

I used to work in Seattle, in a department store.
I used to work in Seattle, I don't work there anymore.
A lady came in for a chicken, a chicken from the store
A chicken she wanted, my cock she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Coming back to earth

2006-01-25T17:54:00.000-08:00

I returned the Sirius radio and its various accoutrements today. I have a mixed opinion on the service but in the end it wasn't worth the money. I'm in the minority according to the salesman at Car Toys. He said they're not seeing many returns but didn't give me a hard time about taking it back.

Sirius Pros
-- Wide selection of music channels including several single artist channels (Elvis, Bruce Springsteen).
-- Tons of sports , team broadcasts (NFL, NBA, NHL, NCAA).
-- Howard Stern - 5 Hours+ with few commercials and the freedom from censorship.
-- Wide variety of news including ABC, CNN, BBC, NPR and PRI.
-- The Sportster is a pretty cool radio with 40 minute rewind/record feature.

Sirius Cons
-- Limited playlists on the music channels.
-- Team broadcasts exclude pre- and post-game shows (online subscriptions include pre- and post-game shows).
-- Howard Stern - 19 hours of recapping the 5 hour show. After all the hype, I was expecting so much more.
-- East coast bias in scheduling.
-- Nothing offered that I can't find on my local radio station or over the internet for a similar price.
-- Difficulty getting quality signal at home.

Maybe I'll give it a try again later this year, but for now it's back to regular radio and the Internet for me.

MD

Electro-ejaculation

2006-01-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

Because I started wonder just *what* that entailed...

The man usually lies in his right side. A metal or plastic tube (proctoscope) is lubricated and inserted into his rectum to inspect the lining of the rectum. A special probe is inserted into the rectum, the probe is attached to an electric stimulation power unit through which electric stimulation is delivered. The power is increased gradually until ejaculation occurs. At the same time an assistant will apply massage to the prostate gland and milk the urethra to obtain the ejaculate. At the end of the procedure, another proctoscope is inserted to check for any burn injury in the rectum caused by the hot rectal probe.

I was kinda turned on until that last sentence.

Semen Collection in Diceros bicornis

2006-01-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

"Previously artificial vaginas have been too heavy, requiring an operator on either side just to hold it..."

Bonus points because it contains phrases like "Electro-ejaculation." Where can I sign up for that?

Siriusly underwhelming

2006-01-21T12:16:00.000-08:00

So, week two is now past but I'm not sure that I'll be keeping the radio. I've still got a few weeks to decide but I'm leaning towards returning the equipment and canceling the subscription. After paying pretty close attention to my usage over the past few weeks I really can't see what it offers over and above what I can find on AM/FM or the internet for free.

Now, it's not as if it doesn't have any redeeming qualities. There are several music stations I'm really enjoying including Channel 10, E Street Radio, Channel 23, Hair Nation and Channels 33-37, the dance stations. But I was pretty excited about the talk/news stations and they have let me down. They don't stream any of the talk stations either which means I can't listen to them at my desk.

The jury is still out but their first straw poll is not positive for the value of the service. I will say that the equipment is really good. The Sportster is really cool and easy to use. I love the screen size and convenience of the remote and FM transmitter at home. The car kit is easy to set up in the car and not too difficult to move back and forth between our two vehicles.

Mex

www.wewantyoursoul.com

2006-01-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

We Want Your Soul

Getting Sirius - Week 1

2006-01-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

I bought a Sirius radio this week. I picked up the Sportster, a cool looking unit with 40 minutes of record time and an included car adapter. The 40 minutes of record time isn’t really good for recording programming but it’s great in a TiVo pause live radio kind of way. I got lucky. The unit I bought was the last one in the store. My radio listening is primarily a home activity so I bought a home adapter too.

I'm trying to take a critical look at this because the equipment isn't cheap. My set-up is about $150 after a rebate plus $13/month for the actual service. The store has a 30-day, full refund return policy so I’ve got some time to make a decision.

The Sportster is pretty slick. It isn’t too big, isn’t too small. The indiglo screen is large enough that you can read it from across the room. There’s a little IR remote control to help keep me sedentary at home. Surprisingly, the remote is also very convenient in the car. Reaching across the dash to handle the many buttons is difficult to do while driving but just using the little remote is pretty simple. I don’t have all of the channel numbers memorized (there are more than 100) so I have to judge based on what I hear. I’ll get to the content in a minute. First, I have to get the thing up and running.

Finding a satellite signal proved harder to do than I expected. Rain clouds and neighborhood trees posed a problem but it was the windows in the house that caused the biggest interference. It’s a good thing the Sportster is made to be helpful. It comes with a tool that displays the signal strength of the satellite and terrestrial repeater. The indoor/outdoor antenna gets no satellite signal and 30 percent repeater with the windows in my home office closed. Open the windows and satellite signal jumps to 50 percent while the radio reception more than triples to 100 percent. So out the window it went.

Online activation took about two minutes. Once I was on the air, it was time to test the range of the Sportster’s FM transmitter. I set the broadcast to the empty 87.9 slot on my FM dial and went on an indoor walkabout. The signal comes in loud and clear on the old-fashioned radios in my bedroom and kitchen. The signal to the clubhouse is still a work in progress but bedroom and kitchen are an excellent start.

So what is there to listen to? The obvious first stop is channel 100, Howard Stern’s station. His show is the reason I chose Sirius over XM. There are lots of music channels to choose from plus sports, news and a raft of public radio networks. It’s virtually the same thing offered by XM with a few differences, the most notable being Stern.

Howard Stern’s two channels (100 and 101) are all Stern, all the time. I have to say, I was under whelmed with the first week. Yes, it’s just week one but I was hoping for something more than his show, a replay of his show, 18 hours of program analyzing that day’s show and something like six hours of Bubba the Love Sponge.

I was most disappointed with Howard 100 News. I expected that to be a fun take on current events. Instead, it’s a bunch of former news people doing stories about, you guessed it, what happened on that day’s show.

I also heard them say that Howard and Co. will be moving to a 4-day work week with a fill in or behind the scenes show on Friday mornings. On this, I call Bullshit. At least Letterman tapes two shows on Thursday so he has something new for Friday.

There are some sun breaks in the clouds though. The Coming Soon programs sound interesting, particularly Tissue Time with Heidi Cortez: Where America Comes Together and Lesbian Dial a Date. They’re also developing a Sirius tech show. I’m not sure how this will work. It’s not very useful to have a show about hooking up your Sirius radio when those that need it can’t hear you.

The other Sirius channels are interesting but I'm not exactly sure what they offer that I don't already get locally. I have the music formats I want. The NPR stations in town are excellent. The sports station is good. The news stations are good. And with Podcasts and the internet radio, I get just about everything I think Sirius offers but for the low, low price of free.

We’ll see if my opinion changes in a week.

Later,
Mike

P.S. I’ve proved one theory right. Anderson Cooper sucks just as much when you can only hear him.