Stay at Home Dad

		KRISTEN WOLFE: Dear Customer Who Stuck Up For His Little Brother...
	The dad sees the boy's purple game controller, and starts in on the him about how he needs to pick something different. Something more manly. Something with guns and fighting.

Justin

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Cultivating a young mind

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 04:29:12 -0800

http://www.forbes.com/sites/moneybuilder/2012/01/05/five-unusual-ways-to-raise-successful-children/

The pay-for-audiobook idea is a neat one to keep in mind.

Justin

Permalink | Leave a comment »

'Spank No More' on Slate

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:05:55 -0800

"Plenty of spanked children may grow into well-adjusted adults, but this is one reason why, for example, corporal punishment on average correlates with lower measures of cognitive ability, such as IQ. In these households, parents saw their role as providing shelter and basic support, but children’s development was encouraged to “spontaneously unfold” without sustained parental effort."

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2011/12/spanking_is_on_the_decline_why_.html

Justin

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Children Are Affected by Parents' Entrepreneurial Attempts

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:41:18 -0800

Children Are Affected by Parents' Entrepreneurial Attempts
http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/dailystat.php?date=121311

Justin

Permalink | Leave a comment »

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell}

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:48:00 -0800

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

via fromdatestodiapers.com

Great list. Take it to heart.

Permalink | Leave a comment »

The Friday Podcast: The Case For Preschool : Planet Money : NPR

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:21:00 -0700

via npr.org

The best investment you can make in your child's future is in pre-school.

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Why Children Don't Need To Find A Passion

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:51:39 -0700

		BETSY BROWN BRAUN: Why Children Don't Need To Find A Passion
	One of the key components in the new sport of Competitive Child Raising seems to be the misguided notion that children tween-age and even younger are supposed to know their calling.

Permalink | Leave a comment »

How to Discourage Materialism in Children

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:50:00 -0700

via naturalpapa.com

Important tips.

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Save on Parenthood: Skip These Baby Gear Money Traps

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:55:00 -0700

Here are the 15 worst offenders, culled from interviews with experts, moms, and my own old fashioned common sense.

Infrared baby monitors – These monitors not only let you spy on your kid while they’re sleeping (or refusing to sleep), they scan the room for intruders. Relevant for families living in…Baghdad? Come on. You can figure out from a standard baby monitor – or even your own ears - if your infant is asleep, safe and sound.

Bed in a bag – Also known as, junk your baby doesn’t need. Chains push these sets, which typically contain a bumper pad, dust ruffle, and quilt. “These are things that you are not supposed to put in the crib or they are superfluous,” said Alan Fields, co-author of “Baby Bargains.” “The bottom line is all your baby needs is a [fitted] sheet.” Zip your infant into a wearable blanket, like a Halo Sleepsack, and the kid is good to go.

Convertible cribs – Sounds like a money saver, right? But many convertibles transform into a full or queen bed that may not fit in your child’s bedroom. Instead, buy a new or used crib and swap it for a twin bed when the time comes.

Diaper wipe warmer - Fields makes two concessions where this product might have a true need: parents who live in Maine or North Dakota. Otherwise, your kid can deal with cool wipes on their bum.

Bottle sterilizers - “A lot of these sterilization products prey upon a parent’s germ fears,” Fields said. But bottles don’t have to be sterilized because you know what? Your baby isn’t sterile. Your home isn’t sterile. And you aren’t sterile. Germs can be good, people!

Baby videos - “There is a whole range of DVD series that imply they will make your child smarter, when in fact, there is absolutely noevidence that children under 30 months learn from video or TV,” raves Josh Golin, associate director at Campaign for a Commercial-FreeChildhood. The problem is that there is no standard for what makes a toy educational, Golin said. What kids learn from is interacting with their parents, exploring the world around them, even playing with household objects. Who hasn’t seen a child squeal with delight when handed a wooden spoon? Mesmerizing does not equal educational.

Vinci tablet – Beyond smartphone apps for babies is an entire tablet designed for tots. Dubbed a “learning system” that will “inspire the genius,” and which guilt-trips parents into doing “the best today, to be in the best place for tomorrow,” the Vinci device is particularly heinous. The basic model retails for, excuse me? What? Some idiot is going to pay $389 so their mini-me can slobber on a glorified iPod?

Baby knee pads – “I think children can crawl without being in grave danger of serious injury,” quips Lenore Skenazy, author of “Free Range Kids.” But what if my precious scrapes her knee? She could BLEED!

Color changing spoons – These plastic spoons change color to alert you, the helpless naif, that the baby food you are about to force downyour child’s throat is hot. Hot! Save your cash and make a guinea pig out of your pinky.

Thudguard – This helmet is designed for an extremely dangerous activity: walking. That’s right. For $42.95, teach your toddler that what they instinctively want to do is an activity best left to Hollywood stuntmen. Because traumatic brain injury from learning to walk is on the rise. Oh, and pigs can fly.

Walking wings - A marionette-type contraction that let’s you hold up your tot so they can learn to walk more easily. Babies R Us sells a version called the Walking Assistant for $25. With your constant aid, baby will take longer to walk on their own and you’ll have a constant backache.

Baby TV – The BabyFirst TV network promises round-the-clock shows geared for your baby, including Early Bloomers, Breakfast Club, and Baby First Bedtime, for $4.99 a month. That adds up to $59.88 a year. ”It’s totally unnecessary,” said Fields of Baby Bargains. “Babies should not even be watching TV until age 2. It doens’t help their development.”

Baby perfume – Spritz Burberry Baby Touch eau de toilette on your infant and she won’t scare friends and family away with her dirty diapers. Amazon sells a 3.3 ounce bottle for $31.90.

Baby food processors – These miniature food processors appeal to parents with crack pot dreams of making their own baby food, like me. ”The problem is that babies only eat baby food for a very short period of time, roughly six months to a year,” Fields said. Then they can basically eat what you eat, as long as it’s cut into baby sized bites. If you already have a food processor, no need to spend money on a pint-sized one. If you don’t own a food processor, buy a real one that you can use for years.

Baby gates – Plastic barriers are marketed to two groups: baby parents and pet parents. Guess what? It’s the same darn gate, but the pets ones are cheaper.

via mint.com

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Indoor mold poses key asthma risk for babies

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 07:46:00 -0700

When infants are exposed to mold in the home, their risk for developing asthma more than doubles, according to a study published Tuesday in the Annals of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology. The study doesn't prove mold causes asthma, but it does suggest that exposure to mold during infancy is linked to the development of chronic inflammation of the lung airways, which causes wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and coughing.

Previous studies have shown that mold spores can travel, according to lead study author Tiina Reponen, a professor of environmental health at the University of Cincinnati. But she says this is the first study to suggest mold exposure in children under the age of one seems to play a critical role in a child developing asthma. The risk went up even more if one of the parents had asthma, according to the research.

This study is part of a larger research project called the Cincinnati Childhood Allergy and Air Pollution Study.

Researchers visited the homes of babies born in Cincinnati, Ohio, and Northern Kentucky back in 2001 to 2003, where at least one parent was allergic to at least one of 15 common airborne allergen. The homes of 176 children were inspected for mold when they were 1 and 7 years old. Half of the homes had visible mold and the other half didn't, says Reponen. All the children were offered allergy tests at age 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7. Researchers inspected the homes by looking for and smelling for mold and also by taking dust samples from the room where each child spend most of his or her time. The dust samples then underwent DNA testing for 36 different mold species from that sample, using a standardized tool developed by the EPA.

The study authors found that if children were exposed to mold as infants, they were at a significantly increased risk for asthma at 7 years of age. Being exposed to mold as a child at about 7 years old, (which is when children are old enough to have proper lung-function tests to get a more accurate diagnoses), doesn't seem to predict if a child will get asthma. Neither was the presence of a dehumidifier, carpets, age of the home or visible mold.

However, Reponen says the results from the dust samples show "it's the mold you can't see that is a risk factor."

"Damp environments are not healthy environments," Dr. James Sublett, chairman of the Indoor Environments Committee for the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, who was not involved with this study.

The research suggests that expectant parents or families with babies should try to eliminate any situation that can lead to mold growing.

Sublett, who is an expert on the effects of air pollution on human health and the section chief of Pediatric Allergy at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, says if you're aware of a moisture problem, get it fixed. Just because you can't see mold doesn't mean it isn't there. Moisture could be building up in the home because of a leaky roof or broken pipe, flooding in the basement, or simply from the steam in your bathroom. "If you are in a situation where humidity is trapped in your home, you have a higher risk of mold exposure." He adds that moisture can also accumulate from something as simple as an overflowing gutter or leaky windows.

Children who got asthma tended to live in homes lacking air conditioning, which can help keep moisture levels down. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, if you can see mold, you don't need to test for it.

However, if you've had water damage and can't see any mold yet but want to be sure, the EPA suggests hiring a professional to do the testing. Sublett suggests having one expert test for mold and hiring someone else to do the clean-up if mold is found. "You want to disconnect the detection process with the fixing process to avoid a conflict of interest," he says.

If you suspect your child may have been exposed to mold and shows symptoms of asthma, Sublett suggests getting a referral to a board-certified allergist, who can evaluate potential risks a child may have been exposed to, identify which mold a child may be allergic to and develop a treatment plan.

via thechart.blogs.cnn.com

Permalink | Leave a comment »

A stay-at-home dad wonders why he gets the hairy eyeball on playgrounds

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 07:44:00 -0700

Of course, I’m a potential predator simply because I’m a guy. It must be inconceivable for a man to comfort his own child, so the obvious conclusion is I’m attempting to abduct a kid in broad daylight and pick up some half-price noodles and toothpaste at the same time. Slightly less offensive is the notion a woman can be automatically granted a free pass.

via moms.today.com

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Prescription for Play: The Importance of Play for Children’s Health

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:49:00 -0700

via naturalpapa.com

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Supporting and enabling your child

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:03:41 -0700

One dad's story of supporting his 4 year old's project. It's a fun read.

http://gamesbyemail.com/WoodTape/Default.htm

Permalink | Leave a comment »

One dad's take on being judged in public

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 08:12:25 -0700

When you're a dad alone with a kid, people can jump to the wrong conclusion. Here's one father's experience:

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/a-divorced-dad-sick-of-being-taken-for-a-perv/

Permalink | Leave a comment »

How to be a Better Father: 6 Healthy Habits to Develop

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:13:00 -0700

6 Healthy Habits to Develop to be a Better Father

1. Personal Fitness: Being a father adds to the demands on your life, not only in the mental and emotional areas, but the physical as well. In order for us to be able to keep up with our kids (who have exceedingly high levels of energy) as they grow, it’s important to get and stay physically fit. And let’s face it, there never will be any kind of instant fitness, so the only way for us to improve our physical health is to get started with some daily or weekly habits and to then keep those going.

It doesn’t have to mean joining a gym (but it might if that’s what would motivate you), or joining a local cycling or running club (but it might if that’s your type of thing), or even playing organized sports (but it might if you also need some time with the guys). In fact, some of the most effective fitness regimens are those which are quite simple, because the simpler it is, the more likely you are to follow through with them every day. Even something as basic as bodyweight exercises at home (pushups, situps, pullups, squats, speed rope workouts etc.) can give you the core fitness you need to be an active dad.

2. Personal Diet: Whether you like it or not, you already have a diet – it’s what you eat regularly. But is it optimum for you? The truth is, there is no correct diet. There are lots of diets which are unhealthy for most people, but the diet which is best for you is the one which makes you both feel better and is not difficult for you to stick to.

Some people feel better when they go vegetarian (I sure did), and some when they adopt a ‘paleo’ diet. For many people, just cutting out the soda or donut addiction is a huge step up in health for them, and if they stick to it, can lead to making other dietary changes, such as cutting out other junk or fast foods (or those foods high in fats, sugar, or sodium – the ones we think we ‘can’t live without’ because we’re addicted to them). And considering that our kids learn what to eat by watching us (and eating the foods that we eat), then developing healthy eating habits goes a long way toward their health as well.

3. Downtime: Whether or not you have a job outside the home, or you’re a stay at home dad, or a work at home dad, you still really need some downtime – some ‘me time’. If all of your efforts and energy are being poured into work, family, community service, etc., and you’re not serving yourself up some of that energy, you’re going to burn out. It’s really important to take time for yourself - to just sit and read, to go running through the woods, to take up a new hobby, whatever – so that you can come back to your wife and family refreshed and fulfilled on a personal level.

Yes, marriage and fatherhood are also fulfilling, but we’re not just husbands and fathers. We’re men with interests and needs and talents which might fall outside the realm of family and relationship, and it’s good to acknowledge that, so we don’t get caught up in the guilt of taking time for ourselves. (The flip side of this is making sure that your partner is also getting their needs for ‘me time’ met.)

4. Date Nights: One thing that is almost sure to happen soon after the baby enters your life is that your relationship with your wife will probably sink to the lowest priority for both of you. After all, now that you’ve got a tiny human you’re caring for, there really aren’t enough hours in the day to keep that strong romantic connection with your partner, right? Wrong. It’s easy to fall into that trap, and it’s a pretty deadly trap at that.

Neglect spawns neglect, and it may be that you’re now more like housemates who share a child than a couple in love. And one of the answers to that is making a regular time for the two of you to have a date – to spend time together without the baby or the job or the chore list at the center of your conversations. Date night doesn’t have to mean spending any money going out to eat or to a show, either. It can be as simple as capitalizing on nap time for an impromptu picnic or ‘adult time‘, or dropping baby off at grandma’s so you can go for a short hike. Make connecting with your partner regularly one of your habits, and your relationship will be much better off for it.

5. Suit Up and Show Up: In fatherhood, just as in the rest of our life, showing up ready and willing to do the work is a huge piece of being better at what you do. And that goes just as strongly for your love relationship with your wife or partner. Too many times, we expect to reap all of the benefits of strong, healthy family relationships without putting in our time and working at them.

As important as showing up for your wife and family (especially when you don’t want to) is also being willing to make compromises and shift our priorities and obligations outside the house in order to fulfill our children’s needs and those of the family as a whole. It’s a hard lesson for some men to learn – that work/friends/hobbies are actually now secondary to the family’s needs – and one that has the potential to create some serious friction in your marriage. So making the effort and taking the time to drop your mental baggage at the door in order to be present and fully engaged with your kids and partner, no matter what the activity, is an important part of developing healthy relationships with them.

6. Reverence: I almost put ‘spirituality’ here, but knowing that some people are averse to using that word (or faith, or religion for that matter), I thought that reverence is more applicable. We all have a sense of reverence and beauty – we see or hear things which put us in a state of awe, from music to art to nature to yes, even science or engineering – and acknowledging those things and making time for them can add immeasurably to our personal character.

And I don’t believe that this habit and #3, getting some downtime, are one and the same. Things which spark your imagination and lift your spirits are also things which can be shared with your wife and children, whereas downtime is almost exclusively a solo act. Consider meditating or practicing yoga as a couple, or taking the family out to revel in the beauty of the natural world, or engaging in art projects (or appreciation – visiting galleries and museums are great ways to begin adding some reverence into your life).

via naturalpapa.com

Permalink | Leave a comment »

Sign Language iPhone App

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 09:52:00 -0700

via itunes.apple.com

We've been having some success with sign language but it's always a pain to go back to the computer to look up new signs. Good thing there's an app for that!

Check it out; it seems worth the 5 bucks.

Permalink | Leave a comment »

5 Reasons to Take a Walk with Your Family

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 06:03:00 -0800

1. Walking is Great Exercise.
When I wake up in the morning before the kids, and the house is quiet, the last thing I want to do is hop on my treadmill for a vigorous workout. And at the end of the day, when everyone is asleep, I just want to crawl into bed. By walking with my kids, I get much needed exercise without sacrificing valuable quiet time.

A daily walk of 30-minutes or more can promote weight loss and reduce the risks of chronic illnesses, such as high- blood pressure and diabetes. Don’t become obsessed with miles per hours and calories, though. Let your children stop and look at bugs, collect leaves or stomp in water puddles. Relax, and enjoy these special times with your loved ones.

2. Sometimes Nature is the Best Medicine.
Fresh air provides your body with an abundance of oxygen that promotes healing and mental clarity. Sunlight provides your body with much needed vitamin D, and stimulates production of endorphins and other brain chemicals that relieve depression and improve moods.

Make an effort to get outside daily, no matter the season or weather. If it’s cold out, take a quick lap around the block. On nicer days, take a leisurely stroll to a nearby park, store or library. Moving around outdoors is a great way burn off stress and excess energy so the entire family sleeps better at night.

3. Reconnect with Your Spouse and Kids.
At the end of a long day, a good walk can help you unwind mentally and physically so you can more readily connect with your spouse and children. When my husband joins us for walks, it becomes a mini date night. As we hold hands and talk while the kids run in front of and alongside us, we marvel at what we created together. Life is good.

4. Replace Bad Habits.
Carving out time for daily walks with your family means you will have less time for unhealthy pursuits like excessive television, video game, cell phone and computer use. Every hour spent outside with your family is an hour when you’re not overeating, overspending, or obsessing over blog analytics.

Family walks can also rescue you from the guilt of allowing your children to become sedentary. It’s hard to feel bad about your parenting when your children are running, skipping, jumping, riding bikes, and laughing with joy at your side.

5. Engage Your Community.
Overconsumption of media can make you feel like the end of the world is quickly approaching. However, there’s nothing like watching the neighborhood kids splash around in the sprinklers that can make you forget about crime statistics and feel that all is right in the world.

For all of the communication streams we have at our fingertips, many of us feel more disconnected than ever. Online relationships, no matter how valuable, can’t replace face-to-face interaction. Walking around your neighborhood and interacting with neighbors reduces isolation and gives you a true sense of community. You are not alone.

via zenfamilyhabits.net

Permalink | Leave a comment »