When Kanye launched his new blog featuring a photo of his girlfriend/muse/girl that dances w/girls Amber Rose, people were able to immediately identify the inspiration of the photo. On first look, it’s clear to see that Amber falls way short of pulling off the amazing contortion that Grace exhibited on her album cover. However, a simple google and an great article from sleevage shows why no onw has been able to match Grace’s image in 30 years. (more info)

Faced w/the facts that the original, although iconic is as fake as Coco’s cleavage¹ I began to judge Amber much less harshly than some others and went back to staring at the pics of the well oiled asses. besides, facts are, if i were to try to make that pose, it would look something like this.

i bet one of ‘em got on the matchin’ panties, too.

blogs are goin’ goofy over minaj’s appearance in mimi’s video, which might mean that nick cannon is closer to “having a menage” than ursher even though it’s clearly something that “everybody loves raymond” has been pining for lately¹

great beat by polow² with a fantastic sample.

[Click through to site to listen to the song]
Stevie Wonder – Living for the City

Trunk Muzik is a great lil’ mixtape, go and get it.

the only thing that could make this song better is a verse from bee eye gee bee ohh eye.

also, below the cut, a video from Meek Mill for “Make ‘em Say” which is a ridiculous track that’s probably not getting any love outside of philly. probably because it’s impossible to find a version w/out an annoying dj talking over the track. philly, we gotta do better.

that’s a real receipt. i remember getting off the bus. there may have been snow. that store is still there. can’t remember where i went for new years that year. 10 years later. new domain. same psuedonym. life, it continues…

back then, times were stupid wild.
[Click through to site to listen to the song]

notes:
– gucci mane is stil abhorrent.
– i remain a sucker for idiotic bangladesh beats.

great video, great song. can somebody get el-p and elucid in the same building together?

Yeah, I’m late.
No, I don’t care.

Word.

For the geeks – here’s a look at the code that did it.

$useGallery = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT meta_value useGallery FROM $wpdb->postmeta WHERE meta_key = 'useGallery' and post_id = $post->post_parent");

if ($useGallery == 1) {

$oImages = $wpdb->get_results("SELECT i.id aID, i.post_excerpt altTitle, i.post_content, i.post_name iName
FROM wp_posts p
join wp_posts i on p.id = i.post_parent
join wp_postmeta m on i.id = m.post_id and m.meta_key = '_wp_attachment_metadata'
where i.post_parent = $post->post_parent
order by i.menu_order");

$rowcount = $wpdb->num_rows;

echo '
<h3>other images (' . $rowcount . ')</h3>';

$i = 0;
foreach($oImages as $oImage) :
	$i = $i + 1;
	$imgText = get_image_tag($oImage->aID,$oImage->altTitle,$oImage->altTitle,'','thumbnail');
    $iref = get_permalink($post->post_parent) .  $oImage->iName;

    if(($i % 3) == 1){echo '<div class=\'gallery\'>';}

    if ($oImage->aID == $id) { echo('<dl class=\'gallery-current gallery-columns-3\'><dt class=\'gallery-icon\'>' . $imgText . '</dt></dl>'); } else {
echo'<dl class=\'gallery-item gallery-columns-3\'><dt class=\'gallery-icon\'><a href=' . $iref .'>' . $imgText . '</a></dt></dl>'; }

    if(($i % 3) == 0 || ($i == $rowcount)){echo '</div>';}
endforeach;

echo '<br style=\'clear: both;\' />';
}

For you nongeeks – this is what’s happening in “plain” english: first check to see if useGallery is set, then get all images from the post that this image we are currently looking at is attached to, count how many you have, loop over those images and display a thumbnail. while displaying a thumbnail, determine if the one you are currently looking at up top is the thumbnail you are displaying and give that a different css class so that you can shade it’s border a different color. also, check to see if you’re a multiple of 3, or, if you’re at the end of the images. basically, my goal was to mimic the function of wp’s built in gallery shortcode with, admittedly, a very simple tweak.

the problem: after the big change to the site, i realized i would have to make a change to every post that used the shortcode gallery. my new, slimmer, trimmer 420px column on the frontpage did not play well w/galleries that had more than 2 columns and used thumbnail images with a width of 200px. now, that meant that i’d have to hunt down every post that i used the gallery shortcode² in or make a global change to the code that runs the gallery shortcode. because those lovely people over at WP left a comment in their code³ i was able to go right to the source and make an edit to change the default columns to 2 and that took care of my initial problem. while poking around in there, i noticed a commented line which read, “// Allow plugins/themes to override the default gallery template.”

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but, if you’re skinning said cat somewhere close to a factory that creates cat-skinning lasers, you may want to put down your trusty swiss army knife.

i figured, if they wanted you to override the gallery template, they’d probably have some way to do it, so off i went to the codex to find out the best way to do so. the fourth example on that page had almost everything i wasted XX number of lines writing above, and more, a means of using the underlying code that would mean i only needed to update in one place.

 <?php
    $gallery_shortcode = '[ gallery id="' . intval( $post->post_parent ) . '"]';
    print apply_filters( 'the_content', $gallery_shortcode );
 ?>

in geek, this is clearly a RTFM issue. in non-geek, that says, “you should have read the fn manual.” this was great, i would be able to replace my custom code with the actual gallery shortcode that WP uses. after a tiny tweak i’d be able to take care of my 3 column issue at the slight cost that I would need to change it every time i upgraded WP. or, at least i thought i would until i came across this bit of genius from esmi which could easily solve my problem.

remove_shortcode('gallery');
add_shortcode('gallery', 'theme_gallery_shortcode');

simple enough to geeks and non-geeks: screw their shortcode, use your own!

the revised gallery shortcode sits below

function h_gallery_shortcode($attr) {
	global $post;

	static $instance = 0;
	$instance++;

	// Allow plugins/themes to override the default gallery template.
	$output = apply_filters('post_gallery', '', $attr);
	if ( $output != '' )
		return $output;

	// We're trusting author input, so let's at least make sure it looks like a valid orderby statement
	if ( isset( $attr['orderby'] ) ) {
		$attr['orderby'] = sanitize_sql_orderby( $attr['orderby'] );
		if ( !$attr['orderby'] )
			unset( $attr['orderby'] );
	}

	extract(shortcode_atts(array(
		'order'      => 'ASC',
		'orderby'    => 'menu_order ID',
		'id'         => $post->ID,
		'itemtag'    => 'dl',
		'icontag'    => 'dt',
		'captiontag' => 'dd',
		'columns'    => 2,
		'size'       => 'thumbnail',
		'currentid'  => '0'
	), $attr));

	$id = intval($id);
	$attachments = get_children( array('post_parent' => $id, 'post_status' => 'inherit', 'post_type' => 'attachment', 'post_mime_type' => 'image', 'order' => $order, 'orderby' => $orderby) );

	if ( empty($attachments) )
		return '';

	if ( is_feed() ) {
		$output = "\n";
		foreach ( $attachments as $att_id => $attachment )
			$output .= wp_get_attachment_link($att_id, $size, true) . "\n";
		return $output;
	}

	$itemtag = tag_escape($itemtag);
	$captiontag = tag_escape($captiontag);
	$columns = intval($columns);
	$itemwidth = $columns > 0 ? floor(100/$columns) : 100;

	$selector = "gallery-{$instance}";

	$output = apply_filters('gallery_style', "
		<style type='text/css'>
			#{$selector} {
				margin: auto;
			}
			#{$selector} .gallery-item {
				float: left;
				margin-top: 10px;
				text-align: center;
				width: {$itemwidth}%;
			}
		</style>
		<div id='$selector' class='gallery galleryid-{$id}'>");

	$i = 0;
	foreach ( $attachments as $id => $attachment ) {
		$link = isset($attr['link']) && 'file' == $attr['link'] ? wp_get_attachment_link($id, $size, false, false) : wp_get_attachment_link($id, $size, true, false);
		$currentclass = ($id == $currentid) ? 'gallery-current' : 'gallery-item';

		$output .= "<{$itemtag} class='$currentclass'>";
		$output .= "
			<{$icontag} class='gallery-icon'>
				$link
			</{$icontag}>";
		if ( $captiontag && trim($attachment->post_excerpt) ) {
			$output .= "
				<{$captiontag} class='gallery-caption'>
				" . wptexturize($attachment->post_excerpt) . "
				</{$captiontag}>";
		}
		$output .= "</{$itemtag}>";
		if ( $columns > 0 && ++$i % $columns == 0 )
			$output .= '<br style="clear: both" />';
	}

	$output .= "
			<br style='clear: both;' />
		</div>\n";

	return $output;
}

i’ve trimmed the css and added the “currentid” attribute. the highlighted lines⁴ show the code used to add the “currentid” attribute. my huge chunk of code from the beginning now appears as 9 simple lines.

$useGallery = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT meta_value useGallery FROM $wpdb->postmeta WHERE meta_key = 'useGallery' and post_id = $post->post_parent");

if ($useGallery == 1) {

echo '<h3>other images</h3>';

    $gallery_shortcode = '[ gallery columns="3" currentid="' . intval($id) . '" id="' . intval( $post->post_parent ) . '"]';
    print apply_filters( 'the_content', $gallery_shortcode );
}

overall, this was a huge success. i was able to eliminate my duplicate code, i was able to fix the 3 column default issue w/out worrying about it being overwritten in an upgrade and i (re)learned one of life’s most important lessons — RTFM. the biggest thing that i took away from this experience is that you can rewrite a bunch of the “core” functions/tags/etc that are available in WP. one guy even created a plugin that turns template tags into shortcodes. this lets me know that before i go off and try to rewrite history, a little more time on teh googz can stop me from having to cut ~30 lines of code down to five. now all i’ll need is someone to draw me a picture of a cat skinning laser factory and this might be a perfect post.