Ash Wednesday, a day to take a long look at self – filthy and dark by nature. It shines a beam of truth light on the death and decay of my spirit and soul – if I allow it. And I will allow it. I don’t want to skim over the real condition of my heart any longer. I want to go deep into this battle against Spirit and my flesh, sinful and ugly.

How I long for life giving Spirit to invade all these dark, hidden chambers of my heart. I don’t want the flesh pursuit of selfish desire. No, I want to pursue the One who loves me so much not even the oceans can contain it. I want the One who whispers sweet words to encourage me, who fights for me when the enemy is near – even when I’m my own enemy. I want to be completed by the One who gave his life – the perfect sacrificial Lamb.

Today, on Ash Wednesday, I will think on these things. For the next 40 days of Lent, I will fast from sugar, dairy, grains and simple carbs. Things I crave on a daily basis. Things that have become a spiritual battleground for me. Instead, I will crave Jesus. As I give up these temporal things, I will focus on bringing more spiritual discipline to each day.

This year, we’ve made it a family commitment to practice Lent. How precious to see our children choose sacrifice, choose to identify with Christ. How beautiful to take the next 40 days to exam our hearts, to see our need for a Savior. How joyous to prepare for a celebration – Jesus rose from the dead, and broke the power of sin and death over us.

Ideas for lent:
Create a Forgiveness & Fresh Start Place
Eight Biblical Devotions to Prepare for Easter
Begin a gratitude journal

Linking here:

Submission. Obedience. Be subject. These words seem so harsh, so cold – so oppressive. The funny thing about spiritual truths? They are often the opposite of how they seem. These words actually bring peace, joy, contentment, security, love, harmony…I know it seems crazy, but bear with me.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

The idea of submitting to Jesus doesn’t seem to ruffle our feathers, yet, when we think of submitting to our husbands? Watch out.

So what does be subject mean? Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

Subject – Placed or situate under; Being under the power and dominion of another; Obedient.

Pretty clear and straightforward. But what does this look like in a marriage? Let’s examine the rest of that passage.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33

You’ll notice that the majority of this passage is directed to our husbands. Our husbands are to nourish, cherish, and love as Christ loves the church. Let’s go back to Webster’s:

Nourish – To feed and cause to grow; To supply the means of support and increase; to encourage; To cherish; to comfort; To educate; to instruct; to promote growth in attainments.

Cherish – To treat with tenderness and affection; to give warmth, ease or comfort to; To hold as dear; to embrace with affection; to foster, and encourage; To treat in a manner to encourage growth, by protection, aid, attendance, or supplying nourishment.

Love – to court; to woo; Benevolence; good will; The object beloved.

And we are to respect our husbands:

Respect – To view or consider with some degree of reverence; to esteem as possessed of real worth.

Marriage is designed to teach us what the relationship between Jesus and his bride, the church, is supposed to look like. Jesus loved his bride so much, he came down from his throne to walk among us. He guided, nurtured and cherished his bride. He allowed people to beat, spit on, and crucify him. He bore our sin so we might find salvation. A perfect, blameless sacrifice. That is a powerful love. That is how our husbands are to love us.

We, the church, are called to obedience. We are to be subject to the King of Kings, the Prince of Peace. We show respect for Jesus’ authority when we place ourselves under him; allow him dominion over our lives, our flesh. Likewise, we are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord.

Call to Action:
Spend some time thinking about the verses I’ve shared today. If you want to read more scriptures about it, here are a few to consider: Colossians 3:18-19, Titus 2: 3-5, I Peter 3:1-7.

On Thursday, I’ll share You Want Me to Submit? Part 2 which will be more on what this looks like in our marriages. When both husband and wife are following God’s plan for marriage, it is a beautiful, intimate experience, and a wonderful example our relationship to Jesus. But what happens when our husbands aren’t following God’s outline for marriage? I’ll address that, too.

Linking up here:

All photographs on this post were taken and are copyrighted by Markle Memories Photography.

I found a wonderful link party to join today. Showcasing our favorite things also helps us to be thankful for our many blessings. Here are some of my favorite things.

Link Ups:

Heavenly Father, thank you for being a refuge when life’s storms threaten to swamp me. You are a mighty fortress, a rock on which to stand. I WILL sing of your strength and your love. You have given me peace that I cannot understand during a crisis I cannot wrap my mind around. I will praise you, Lord God almighty. May your joy overflow on whoever stops by and reads this today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

More Word-filled Wednesdays @ Internet Cafe Devotions

More Wordless Wednesday, and on 5 Minutes For Mom

I Corinthians 13: 1-8a (ESV)

Lord, I struggle with sometimes reacting in anger to my children. I forget how words, a harsh voice, or an angry expression can wound them. I want to respond calmly to them, correct them with their hearts in mind, and help them build relationships. Help me to always see them through your eyes. Show me when I’m using anger to change their behavior, and remind me to respond with love and grace. Lead me as I teach, train and guide them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today is Valentine’s Day typically known for a day of expressing our love. I thought it would be a great day to kick off our challenge to show our children less anger, and more grace and love.

The Two Week Challenge:
If you start reacting in anger, stop yourself, apologize to your children, explain that you are trying to break this habit, and proceed calmly. If you keep doing this, you’ll catch yourself sooner, and eventually find yourself responding more often with calmness rather than anger.

The challenge will end February 28th. On the 29th, write a post sharing how you did with the challenge. Come back here, and look for a wrap up post with a place to link up your own post.

** You do NOT have to have a blog to join this challenge. You can either comment here or on my Facebook page to let me know you’re participating.

If you’d like to join me for this challenge, leave a comment letting me know, grab the button, and put it on your blog to remind you. No matter when you come across this post, you are welcome to take up the challenge.

Do You Parent Angry? Part 1
Do You Parent Angry? Part 2

I’m linking up for:
Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

In Do You Parent Angry? Part 1, I discuss what I mean by parent angry. I said, “The angry way of parenting stems from our own desires for peace, compliance, and obedience. Our need to be loved.” Angry parenting looks at the child’s behavior and how it affects us. The opposite of getting angry is to remain calm. Let’s explore what tools calm parenting gives us.

Remaining calm:
Allows us to respond rather than react.
Helps us to think more clearly about the situation.
Allows us to bathe the child in love and grace.
Helps us to see the child as God sees them.
Gives us time to bring the child to true repentance and forgiveness.
Allows us to come up with natural consequences rather than off the cuff punishment.

Calm parenting doesn’t focus on how the child’s behavior affects us. Instead, it focuses more on the child’s heart, and how their behavior affects their relationship with God. Calm parenting stems from a desire for the child’s heart to be right before God. Again: Calm parenting stems from a desire for the child’s heart to be right before God.

We don’t react from hurt or anger because it isn’t about our needs. We respond calmly because it’s about the child and God. We facilitate the process that brings them from their sin to reconciliation with God. What does that process look like? Let me show you.

Calm Parenting Process:
- Shine a light on their sin – simply show them how what they did was sin.
- Explain what sin does to their relationship with God, and the offended person.
- Lead them to repentance, and the joy of forgiveness.
- Help them restore their relationship with God, and with the offended person.
- Finally, teach them to be spirit led rather than flesh led, guide them with God’s truth, and train them in the ways of the Lord.

Yes, calm, and dare I say, godly parenting takes more effort than angry parenting. Spewing angry words and dishing out punishment takes mere minutes. Whereas taking time to respond to the true issues, the child’s heart, not only takes a little longer at the moment of correction, but it also takes additional teaching, training, and guiding throughout the days and weeks to come. But is that really an accurate portrayal?

Angry parenting nets a quick result – for the moment. Long term, however, you’ll find more and worse issues to deal with as the hurt, anger and rebellion takes hold in the child’s heart. Calm parenting, getting to the child’s heart, each and every time nets healing. The child feels loved, develops a desire to do what’s right, and is assured that grace is freely given. Thus a solid foundation is created and you will need to teach, train, and guide less as they learn to govern themselves and build their own relationship with God.

Call to Action:
Consider the difference between angry parenting and calm parenting. Can you see how angry parenting is about changing behavior and stems from our own selfish desires? Can you see how calm parenting is about changing their heart, and stems from a desire for them to grow in their relationship with God? What do you want long term for you child?

What are your thoughts on calm parenting? I hope you join me tomorrow for a small challenge in this area.

Later this week, I’ll share a post delving deeper into the process of keeping calm when responding to our children’s sins and what that might look like.