So here I am, regretting the fact that I wasted all of Spring break doing nothing. I still have all my homework to complete, and I even procrastinated on blogging. But I suppose break wasn’t all too horrible; I did learn a few interesting things…and I guess I should write about them this very last night, as nostalgia pervades my mind.

1. After sitting on my already-flat-butt for hours attempting to study for AP environment science and SAT I, I had a sudden urge to cut my own bangs. One word of advice: don’t cut your hair unless you know what you’re doing. For me, I act on a whim and decided to “trim” my bangs, but the addictiveness of snipping my hair soon resulted in short, unfixable above-the-eyebrow fringes. Sure, they say we learn from our mistakes, but this was literally the fifth time I cut my bangs; although I really hope I won’t repeat such impulsiveness again.

2. Also, I found a rather interesting program that may help those with stage fright combat their fears. This downloadable “virtual audience” imitates typical reactions (clapping, coughing, fidgeting, yawning, etc.) of a real audience while you present your speech. For more info click http://learningactivities.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/virtual-audience-using-adobe-air/

3. Break cannot end without a little adventure. I decided to stay up to catch the sunrise after watching 500 Days of Summer and Dear John online. I left around 6 a.m. with my camera and strolled down canyon heights hoping to find some hill to climb where I could overlook houses and trees. I ended up trespassing as I hiked up a hill, hoping to come upon a decent view. Instead, I not only completely missed the sunrise, but I found myself in the center of horse bathroom land; I was forced to leave after a black stallion so perfectly positioned a fart right in front of my face. So what did I learn? You know how happy cows come from California? Well, I believe horses are happy here too.

…

Yep, I caught a picture of a horse smiling at me.

Quote: “Dog is man’s best friend.”

Problem: What about the tiniest, mutated rodent-like teacup “dog” that demands you to hand feed them human food, naps like a king on your lap, and growls when you disrupt its sleep by shifting positions?

Revised quote: “Man is dog’s best friend.”

Question: What about labs? Kayla, our black chicken-cat-dog fits in both categories based on this “Labradorian Theory”:

• They love you so much they shed hair everywhere as a constant reminder of their existence. Expect to have dog hair as part of your diet.

• They are amazing guard dogs. Kayla hides behind me when gardeners come and cowers at the sound of the vacuum.

• They are quite clingy and demanding. Kayla follows me up and down the stairs and nudges my hand until I pet her.

• They are great comedians and crowd pleasers when guests arrive. If food is present, Kayla will: sit, lay down, stay, play dead, roll over, crawl, shake hands, find a toy, jump through a hoop, and sing when I play the flute. I taught her all that within her first year; labs are exceptionally quick learners.

• Though they may be quick learners, they are far from intelligent. When we play hide ‘n seek, Kayla can never find me.

• They are extremely friendly. Aside from jumping all over guests, Kayla also attempted to befriend a skunk…

• They are unappreciated carpenters. Kayla magically turned our white carpet gray with numerous discolored splotches.

• They are the furriest foot warmers available on cold winter nights.

• They are the first to greet you when you come home. Always expect a wagging tail and a friendly kiss after a long day.

Conclusion: “Lab and man are best friends.”

I am dedicating my first post to Jie who created audreyist.com for me on my birthday.

I just wanted to thank you for:

• bringing me into this world by begging for a younger sister.
• making sure I never wasted food by digging up my unfinished toast that I so sneakily buried in the trashcan under piles of used tissues and then forcing me to eat a whole new slice of bread.
• acting as my personal body guard by blocking the entire McDonalds line with stretched-out 5-year-old arms to make sure no one stepped on me.
• introducing me to photography at the early age of 4 by forcing me to pose for hours as a hideous gopher with protruding teeth.
• turning me into a slob after giving me the honor of safekeeping 3 garbage bags of trash you disposed of from your own room.
• teaching me the smarts and important skills of each life stage in order to compensate for squishing my head and killing my brain cells at an early age.
• telling me how the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in high school was cry about grades…so I laughed when I scored a 48% on my bio test and ended up with a B in that class.

But despite it all, you would always change my diaper at the end of the day and keep me content, even if it meant sticking a finger in my mouth after picking your nose with it.

I win at cheesiness.