Aunt Peaches

Polka Dots: The New Chevron

2012-02-27T06:00:00.004-06:00

My first grade teacher, Miss DeMoulpied, was beautiful. Stunning I would say. She had big and bouncy Miss America hair with a waxy rhubarb smile that enveloped half of her face. Each morning, her classroom commenced with her at the piano while leading the group in a patriotic song, displaying the sort of enthusiastic showmanship one might expect from a professional cheerleader, or worse, a giant faux-fur mascot. With her elbows wide and flailing, we followed her lead and marched in place at our desks.

You’re a grand old flag! You’re a high flying flag! And forever in peace may you wave!

Miss DeMoulpied was also short tempered, insecure, overly-flirtatious with our fathers, and far too-fond of Jessica McClintock perfume. I know that was her scent because one time she took it out of her purse and spritzed it on Matthew Hendrick's tongue when he refused to quit eating his own boogers.

They are mine! You can't have them! I'LL EAT THEM IF I WANT TO!

Sigh.

I loved her more than words can say.

Of all her charming idiosyncrasies, most notable was Ms. DuCharm’s fondness for polka dots. It was her signature. Not a day passed when she did not sport a polka dot sweater, pant set or coffee mug. Even her pencils had polka dots. Decades later, every time I see a polka dotted something-er-other, I sniff the object in hopes it will carry the unmistakable, powdery aristocracy of Jessica McClintock Eau de Parfum.

I'm still searching.

Polka dots have never gone out of fashion, but it appears they are coming into fashion in a big way. Patterns never die but they certainly come in cresting waves of popularity: a few years ago it was ikat, then it was ombre, then it was chevron, now I think it might be polka dots. Or at least I hope so.

They are so fun. Happy. I cannot imagine any item on earth that would not appear friendly and happy covered in polka dots. Can you? Just imagine if tanks were polka dotted instead of camouflage. Honestly, how much easier would US foreign policy be if we restricted our military presence overseas to polka dotted tanks and humvees? If anyone from the Joint Chiefs of Staff in reading this: Y'all feel free to steal my idea. No thanks needed. They joy of solving problems is thanks enough for me. (INSERT SLOBBER FACE WINKING EMOTICON. MILITARY DUDES LOVE EMOTICONS)

There are different sorts of polka dots though. Not just any sort of polka dot will do. My favorite dots are small white polka dots on a dark background, or, what I call wonky dots--evenly spaced dots that appear to be slightly scattered off the grid. They look less perfect. A little nervous. Maybe even, dare I say, unstable. But that's just me, I always like the crazy one. What's your favorite sort of polka dot.

Rejected: Felt Flower Purse

2012-02-24T11:03:00.000-06:00

Kiki went to a charity event this week and needed a purse to wear with her sweater dress. Nothing too sparkly. Nothing too casual. Just something to add some sass to basic black dress. I thought she should take this – an old purse I covered with felt flowers made from old sweaters a few winters back—but she went with something plain black and boring.

Snoozeville, Kiki. Snoozeville.

Oh well. I’ll find an excuse to use this purse again sometime before sweater season is over. It's been in storage for years now, so even if I don’t wear it myself, I’ll feel better knowing its had a moment in the sun by sharing it here with you guys.

Sometimes I think having a blog is sort of like shoe shopping with thousands of friends; we all look at each others stuff and say “Shut. Up. That is so cute!” then scamper off to find a different pair of our own. And then, even if neither one of us actually buys or wears the shoes in question, we still had fun looking at what the other person picked out.

If anyone goes shoe shopping this weekend and sees some shoes to match my purse, holler back!

Advice from my boyfriend

2012-02-23T16:00:00.000-06:00

My boyfriend, Ira Glass, is the nerdy dream host of NPR's This American Life, which is pretty much the best hour of broadcast you will find any given week (no offense, Downton Abbey).

He doesn't know he is my boyfriend yet, and I think he might be married, and I sort of doubt he is into women who are the human equivalent of Miss Piggy, but that's ok. I can wait. I'm cool like that.

Anyway, as I was saying, my boyfriend, Ira, is giving out some great advice on creativity. These snippets are called "Ira Glass on Storytelling" but I think his words apply to something much broader than writing stories for the radio. Anyone who is looking to improve their creative abilities, or improve themselves through creativity, could benefit from his advice, which is, in short: stick to it.

The one below is a particular favorite of mine as it pertains to relationship between good taste and good work. Newsflash: they are not the same thing.

It's five minutes well spent. So here is my dude. Don't slobber, y'all.

"What is REAL?"

2012-02-22T13:02:00.004-06:00

Stuffed animals are funny things.

Recently I was testing out some camera tricks and decided to use Pooh, my beloved and most favorite stuffed animal, as model. This was no big deal until I was looking through the resulting photos and it occurred to me that I had never bothered to take a single photo of Pooh before. Never.

How can this be?

This is absurd. I’m the kind of person who takes photos of strangers on the subway. Photos of dinner rolls at fancy restaurants. Photos of babies crying bloody murder from the toxic fumes emitting from their diapers…. How, oh how, is it I never took a picture of someone as important as Pooh—the one who has spent more hours at my side than any living creature?

He hasn't slept in my bed in years, and yet, if I recall the very best and the very worst moments of my life I recall Pooh being within eye shot or an arm’s reach every time. He has seen everything and knows things about me that I would never ever admit to a living person. And perhaps that why I went all these years without a photo – because he is not a person. He is a thing. He is not real.

Or is he?

Pooh was hand sewn by a family friend as a gift to my mother at her baby shower, along with all the other characters from the 100 Acre Wood. She said she ran out of stuffing after finishing Piglett and resorted to stuffing the rest with the cushion of an old chair, which you can see through the fabric of Pooh's right abdomen.

From Margery Williams’ The Velveteen Rabbit, 1922

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Hee Haw

2012-02-21T05:42:00.000-06:00

I spent a day in Nashville this weekend and I am feeling seriously outspangled. Seems like everyone in Nashville is either wildly talented and/or has great hair. Some of them yodel. Many of them wear rhinestones. It is glorious.

Saturday night we to the Grand Ole Opry (check mark on the bucket list) and saw a series of wonderful performers, including a grown man playing a guitar bedazzled with sparkling alligators. Soon as I get back to Chicago I am singing up for lessons. I need that guitar.

Look, I know a lot of people who take the ABC approach to music (Anything But Country) and that's fine. To each his own. But I happen like country music quite a lot. And I like country music performers even more. Perhaps it is their friendly attitudes and approachable smiles. Perhaps it is the sincerity that comes with writing many of their own songs. Perhaps it is the hair. Perhaps it is the rhinestones.

Oh, who am I kidding?

To any of you ABC music people out there who resist the siren call of the steel guitar, I dare you to watch one of my favorite films, Rhinestone (1984). Starring Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton, this cinematic tour-de-force is sure to stir the soul and imprint an appreciation for country music. I'm serious. Listen closely and one can hear the crunch of Stallone's New York machismo under the sparkling heft of Bob Mackie western wear. It is nothing short of magnificent.

Here, lets take a look.

Be sure to stick around to 1:50 when Dolly jumps in for a duet that rivals Islands in the Stream any day.

ce

Sparkle Me Elmo

2012-02-17T07:07:00.002-06:00

I'm prety sure my family thinks I'm trying to turn my 2-year-old niece Abigail into a drag queen. First I tried to dress her as Priscilla Queen of the Dessert style flamingo , now I'm making disco balls out of her favorite Sesame Street character, Elmo.

Now, I should say, I'm normally too stuck up to make things with characters on them... but seeing as he is Abigail's favorite, and he is sort of a Muppet, I'll make an exception for Elmo. Plus, the little dude is starting to grow on me. Have you seen this?

After watching that video I can't imagine anyone not wanting something fabulous and Elmo like in their house. But, if you are still on the fence, consider the faceless Elmo pendant -- still pretty groovy.

Materials:

Paper lantern
Tinsel Garland
Hot Glue
Craft Foam (for face--optional)

Not much of a tutorial on this one. The complicated part is figuring out how much tinsel you will need to cover the lantern. That's all math (read: that's all you). I can tell you though, that my 9' of tinsel stretched to cover a lantern with a 10" diameter. An extra 2' would have been nice, but I made it work. If you are going to order tinsel garland online, I would order a lot.

Behold! The perfect drag queen pendant lamp.

What? Too much?

Fine. Cut some simple face shapes out of craft foam and attach with hot glue.

Hard part is finding the tinsel in the off-season, but you can find it online. Had I thought ahead of time, I would have stocked up on tinsel after Xmas. How fun would it be to make a dozen of these for a party? I might have to order some gold and green and purple tinsel garland to wrap around lanterns for a Mardi Gras party. Fun!

PS: For all the parents of Elmo fanatics out there, did you know there is an indie film about the heart and soul of Elmo - Kevin Clash? Being Elmo is rolling through theaters right now--you should get a babysitter and take your butt to see it. So cool!

It's a Flying Pig. Literally.

2012-02-15T15:59:00.000-06:00

I know, I know, I know.

Yesterday I said I was going to curb my cat lady ways for a while. And you guys, I totally meant it too!

But then, yesterday, I came home and found that my cat was recipient to what might possibly be the coolest package ever.

It's a pig. And it came priority mail so that means this pig flew.

No brown box or nothing. It came addressed to "Miss Lola" and everything.

And if that was not impressive enough, you know who the pig is from?

A hog.

To be more precise, a 6 year old Vietnamese Pot-Bellied Pig named Stella Dora Von Swineburg. She has her own blog which you should totally check it out. She is an Artist's Muse, Fund Raiser and Super Model. So impressive.

As if a pig sending a valentine to a cat wasn't cool enough, let's see what was in it, shall we?

Took a while to get this thing going.

It went on for a while. By the time we got the boa out Lola was picking feathers from her teeth.

Then she heard a rattle.

Then there was a mechanical sound.

Then something wiggled.

Uh oh.

For the record, the caterpillar put up a good fight. Not every wind-up toy can withstand the clash of a mighty titan like Lola.

When the battle was won, Lola and I opened a beautiful box of chocolate that also survived the US Postal surface. We decided to call it Survival Chocolate just so it would taste extra good. And it did :)

Happy Valentines, Stella!!!

Reason #134 Why I Want a Dog

2012-02-14T15:25:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I ran a wordle on my blog and it told me my most prominent word was “Lola.”

Which is really just the internet’s way of saying “Whoa girl, you need to chill it with the cat lady thing.”

So it occurs to me that some of y’all might not be cat people. Some of y’all might be dog people. And to those who have had their fill of me talking Cat Lady all the time, this is my Valentine to you: meet Pickles.

Pickles the pug is the model and muse behind Sweethoots, the talented mother and daughter team responsible for these glorious hats. Julie and Bernadette tell me that "Pickles is very much a diva. Pickles loves being in the spotlight.”

Be sure to check out Julie and Bernadette’s store for all sorts of amazing creations. “We are able to custom fit any hat when provided with the correct measurements. We have made hats for 3.5 yorkies all the way up to Irish wolfhounds.”

Hear that? Those Irish wolfhounds are big as ponies. That means your pony dog can now take a St. Patrick's day stroll in the park dressed as a Mork & Mindy style leprechaun. You are so welcome.

Happy Valentines Day, Pickles!

Happy Valentines Day!

2012-02-14T14:06:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone who participated in the valentine swap is enjoying their mailboxes these days! These are just a handful of photos of the valentines in circulation right now --aren't they gorgeous?

Forgive me if I do not identify the source on each one as some folks wished to remain anonymous. Sometimes Valentines Day is a good day for secrets :)

PS: If you are expecting/missing your Valentines, keep in mind some are coming from overseas and may be taking a little while longer.
PPS: If you signed up for Valentines and did not send them yet, what are you waiting for? Don't stew on it and just get something creative in an envelope and out the door! So what if it's late? The recipient will still be delighted. Now go!

Under the Sea

2012-02-13T13:23:00.000-06:00

Decided to take a break from the cold and spend the day hanging out at the aquarium last week, and can I just say, it was fantastic. Nothing like a few hours in a tropical environment to rejuvenate the soul. If it were not for the smell of sea lion poop, it might have been mistaken for a day at the spa.

There is an exhibit of jellyfish going on, which, apparently, I am not supposed to describe as jellyfish as they are not fish.They are Medusozoa. But it is safe to call them jellies. Or sea jellies. Some people call them medusas.

I used to have an English teacher we called Medusa because she had crazy snake hair and was really good at giving the stank eye. Had we known we were also calling her jellyfish I think we would have chosen another name. Like Hosebeast.

Oh wait...

Q: Do you know what a group of jellies is called?
A: A bloom, or a swarm, or a smack. Isn't that neato? Just once in my life I want cause to yell across the starboard of a luxury yacht, Beware the jelly smack! And everyone will know exactly what I am talking about.

I had seen plenty of science shows on jellies on TV, but seeing them in person was truly amazing. They have no bones, no blood, no heart....but their every move looks not unlike something one might associate with the pumping of blood. Like heart beats. Like swarms of gelatinous, poisons heartbeats dressed in beautiful ballgowns.

If you have never seen jellies in person, I suggest you seek them out sometime soon. Or watch this video for a minute and study how they move. It's nothing less than incredible.

Any school folks out there looking for a good jellyfish themed craft? Check out this exhibit display of bottle jellies floating from the ceiling. Cool beans.

Very similar to my bottle flowers. You can tell someone made these all white and uniform, but can't you just imagine them in all colors and sizes hanging from the classroom ceiling? Nifty. Nifty. Nifty.

I think just about anyone with munchkins at home could benefit from a trip to the local aquarium. You never know who you will see...

Heads up: Elmo craft coming up this week. Stay tuned :)

My Special Song

2012-02-10T12:55:00.003-06:00

Photo by Gabriel Rochette

Here is the thing: I am obsessed with Iceland.

Don’t ask me why. I have never been there. I have no relation. I strongly dislike the climate. That Bjork chic is a little disturbing. And their economy is in the shitter.

...but so what?

It’s Iceland. It’s magic.

I feel drawn to this place like I have lived there a hundred years. Like I know every frozen nook and glacial mass east of Reykjavik.

I do not believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I’m confident you would have found me toothless and cleaning fish, or milking goats, or something equally unglamorous, in Iceland.

Sometimes, when I am at my worst, when it’s the middle of the night at the bottom of winter and I am scraping the dregs of Depression, one of the only things that calms me down is putting on headphones and listening to a series of Icelandic lullabies.

Loud.

Does that sound weird? Yeah, I guess it does. But it works for me. It gets me through the night. Some people get through these sorts of nights by reading, some write, some drink…and some people, like me, resort to music. Weird and foreign music, devoid of rhythm and harmony. Noise. Cold white noise. I do not speak Icelandic, so I can’t understand a word of it, but it helps me cope. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Round about a year ago, I heard a preview of a song that sounded just like one of those Icelandic lullabies, but for once, the words were in English and I could understand. It was "Holocene" by the indie American band Bon Iver. And it was glorious.

But as much as I loved it from the first moment, I thought for sure it would remain some obscure song that nobody but me would like. As though I was special as a snowflake and it was written for me and only me.

Well. Apparently those Bon Iver guys had different plans. They decided to let other people listen to my special song. Then they went it sold it all over the world. Then they went and got themselves a Grammy nomination.

Seriously, where do they get the nerve?

Fine then. I’ll be the bigger party here and make peace with everyone sharing my special song, even though it won’t feel so special anymore. If you haven’t heard my special song, here is the video.

PS: Guess where it was filmed?

Yup. That's Iceland.

Congrats to Bon Iver and best of luck with my special song at the Grammys this Sunday :)

Update: Wahoo! Bon Iver won.

Cashmere Cat Bed for $3 in Ten Minutes

2012-02-09T07:02:00.001-06:00

Lola is a picky kitty. She likes the finer things in life. Cashmere in particular.

If I’m wearing a cashmere sweater of scarf, it takes her all of ten seconds before she on me like a hair on soap. Something similar happens with sequins.

She knows what she wants. And whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

So when I found this old cashmere sweater had been eaten up by moths, I decided to give it new life as a bed for Lola. It keeps her super warm and, let’s face it, Lola looks great in red.

Must give credit where it is due: I saw a similar pet beds for sale at a flea market last summer, but their construction was a bit different and the sleeves were much fuller, making the sides taller and not appropriate for all cats. Which brings me to....

Rambling cat lady side note: Not all cats like beds, and not all cat beds are the same. While most cats like to have their own special ‘nest’ for napping, some cats feel trapped or unsafe when sleeping in a confined space, like in a bed with four high sides. This is sort of like how some people can only sleep with their socks off (for the record, anti-sock people are just plain weird, but we love them anyway)… So if your kitty is anti-bed, try offering them a bed with low sides, or three sides, and see if they like it. Cat beds are great, because not only do they help kitty feel comfortable, they help keep shedding cat hair in one place. Win-Win!

Materials:

Old cashmere sweater. Any sweater will work, but most cats will avoid acrylic on account of the static electricity. However, I have heard from people with small dogs who love snuffling on sturdy acrylic sweaters. Use your discretion.
Cotton quilt batting.
Needle and thread.
Glove warmers (optional).

1. Stuff the arms with cotton batting (see note above about cat beds with high walls)

2. Tuck the cuffs into each other so you get a sense of how large the bed should be.

3. Fold the corners of the sweater in to create a rounded off bed bottom

4. Stitch the neck and the bottom of the bed closed.

Now tuck the cuffs back together again and stitch them to the perimeter of the sweater (which is now the bottom rim of the bed). This part gets tricky to demonstrate here but it's actually very easy to do, especially if you use some safety pins to hold the sweater in place while you stitch. I should note, I just use big loopy stitches with my needle--nothing fancy or hidden (Lola has distinguished taste, but not that distinguished).

Tip for folks with mature pets : Lola has some issues with arthritis, so during the cold months I create a hot spot by tucking a glove warmer in where the two cuffs overlap. It doesn't warm up the whole bed, but it's provides a nice hot spot for her to warm up any achy joints, sort of like a hot water bottle.

The fur in the photo above shows you just how much Lola likes her hot spot. It is already well worn!

Sweet dreams :)

Valentine Ribbon Rose Wreath

2012-02-08T03:34:00.011-06:00

My friend Ann sent me a giant box crammed with roll upon roll of red, pink, and white ribbons. Most of them wired, half of them satin, all of them extraordinary.

Now, I should say, this wreath took a lot of ribbon to make, and yet, I used less than 20% of what Ann sent me in that box, which is extraordinary because Ann she said she sent me less than 10% of her ribbon stash, which is to say, Ann needs to start a blog ASAP so that she can take us all on virtual tours of her ribbon collection. This is something I have to see!

At first I was going to use these ribbons on my pink tree, but alas, the flocking was clashing with anything delicate as ribbons, so I reserved them for roses to use on a Valentines wreath. If you are a longtime follower, you might remember these from the bouquet I made for my bestfriend’s wedding.

These suckers are Eee-Zee Pee-Zee (and yes that is how you spell it).

Materials: Wired ribbon, a wreath base, hot glue. Boom.

Start with at least 24" of wired ribbon (sometimes called French ribbon).
Using your fingers to pinch the wire at one end, push the ribbon toward the center. Repeat on the opposite end.
Keep pushing and gathering until the the gathered seam is less than one third the original length0 (in this case, I started with 24" and finished with 8").

Once you have a piece of ruffled ribbon ready to go, it's just a matter of rolling, twisting and pinching..

Now that you have the rose all rolled up, twist off the ends to keep it in shape so you can make a bunch more roses. For a 15" wreath base, I used 35 roses. I could have gotten by with ten less, but it would have looked even cooler with ten more. It's a matter of preference.

If you like wreaths as much as I do, you have to check out Michele's Wreath Blog. It's jam packed with oodles of amazeball wreaths!

Dear Bigass Flower Hats

2012-02-07T17:04:00.002-06:00

Dear Bigass Flower Hats,

Please feel free to jump off those skinny models and into my closet. You are welcome anytime! I cannot offer you the glamor and prestige of a Paris runway, but I promise to wear you to the grocery store with some seriously fierce sweat pants. This is the life!

What do you say?

I await your arrival.

Fondly,

Peaches

These gorgeous designs belong to Alexis Mabille's Spring/Summer 2012 collection (photos via The Toronto Sun).

Want to see them flutter and flounce with every bounce? Watch the video.

Spot the Valentine

2012-02-06T16:23:00.000-06:00

This is my bulletin board at work. I use it to sort and display everything from swatches to snowflakes to borrrrring paperwork. Somewhere in the rubble is a Valentine. Can you spot it?

Here, I'll give you a better clue.

Valentines aren't just cards, they are all shapes and sizes and colors, and I can't tell you how much I enjoying seeing all the photos you guys are sending in. Keep them coming!

Pink Math

2012-02-06T12:25:00.000-06:00

Wonder how an old photo of my favorite candy turned into the new color for my kitchen?

Click here to read more.

Shades of Pink: Happy Weekend

2012-02-03T01:02:00.007-06:00

Confession: I finally painted the kitchen pink last weekend.

Sort of.

Guess which one I chose. I want to see how the tide turns. (Don't worry, I won't be offended if you like one I didn't pick, I'm just curious if my hypothesis is correct. It takes a lot more than paint preferences to offend me!)

My methodology for narrowing it down to these three was actually really interesting, at least to a color nerd like me, but I'll show you how with the results on Monday. I need another weekend to finish up.

Last weekend was bonkers.

In addition to the paint, I also did something crazy to the cabinets.

And not like Beyonce Kind of Crazy.

It was more like It's 3AM And You Want To Mix Solvents? Kind of Crazy.

You'll just have to wait and see...

Happy weekend!

The Swap is On!

2012-02-02T13:58:00.000-06:00

If you are one of the 234 people who signed up for the valentine swap in January, 1. Hooray! 2. you should have received an email from me by now with the addresses of three partners.*

If you signed up and did not receive an email, 1. Check your spam folder, 2. Forward me your initial sign up email so I can track backwards. I think I got everyone, these things happen. I don't wnat anyone to miss out on my account :)

Try to get them in the mail by February 5, but don’t freak out of it’s a day late, just so long as you send something. Think of the smile you will put on the recipient’s face – that always spurs me to get a move on!

Speaking of people getting a move on, look at these! I was so excited to see these --Jill and Bonnie sent me pictures of the Valentines they are sending out today and they are SO COOL. Jill made these frayed ruffle hearts and Bonnie made these wonderful collage cards. I know six people who will be so tickled to see these pop up in the mailboxes next week!

If you are sending or receiving Valentines as part of the swap, feel free to take a picture and send it to me, or link in the comments below. I would love to see what you guys are making :)

Fit for a Princess: Pink Leopard Mat Board

2012-01-31T12:26:00.001-06:00

Doesn't every cat deserve to have their portrait painted?

Mine sure does.

So, when I saw one of my favorite artists, Katie Daisy, had painted a cat that looked *just like* Lola, I snapped at the chance to purchase a print of my own. Truth is it's a painting of her kitty, Basil, but, shhhhhhhhhhh we will just tell Lola it is a portrait of her. She's gonna be all kinds of pissed if I tell her there is another cat of equal magnificence and stature, and I don't want a pillow full of cat pee.

Gorgeous as it is, the print came on a lovely yellow-beige-cream colored paper that looked strange next to the off-white mat board. So I decided to gussy it up. Initially I was going to decoupage the mat in leopard tissue, but then I thought it would look too drag queenish and might look better in pink leopard, but they just don't make pink leopard tissue. So I painted instead.

The end result is only a sort of quasi pink leopard, but you know, Lola likes it.

Don't you, Lola?

Don't miss the oodles of amazing items in Katie Daisy's printshop, The Wheatfield.

Champagne and Pizza Kind of Monday

2012-01-30T17:18:00.002-06:00

Lady Violet, the Dowager Countess of Badass Passive Aggressiveness.

You guys, can we just talk about TV for a second?

I don’t usually talk about TV in an Around-The-Water-Cooler-Kind-of-Way, but it’s January and if I feel like wallowing in the jowls of sloth (read: my awesome couch) you'd better believe I am going to enjoy every last minute of it.

Are you watching Downton Abbey? The second season just started here in the US, and like the first season, it’s amazeballs.

Like I said, I don’t usually discuss TV around the water cooler, but this show has me wishing I worked somewhere with a water cooler JUST SO I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. Lola can’t hold her end of the conversation when I’m all, Did you see what Bates’ ex wife did? Girl, please. Who does she think she is? Imma show her where to wear that feathered stupid stump hat. Stump hat. Stump hat cow. Yeah, I’ll show her to mess with Mr. Bates and his bum leg. Yeah I will!

Cause I get really into these things.

It doesn’t matter that Bates’ wife would now be, like, oh, 120 years old, or that she is a fictional character, I’m 100% ready to duke it out ALL OVER HER FACE.

Keep in mind folks, we are talking about Masterpiece Theater here; a program based on delivering classic literature to the masses, like The Forsyth Saga, and Middlemarch, and Jane Eyre.

Oooooooooooh...speaking of crazy bitches in the attic, are you watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Bravo tonight? I can’t wait! I know it, or any reality show for that matter, feels a little bit trashy, but I can’t get enough of it. Watching their lives makes me feel so normal and good about myself. The season reunion is today. Woot! Countdown! Looks like it’s going to be a champagne and pizza kind of Monday.


I made it black and white so it's all classy and stuff.

Wow I'm hungry.

2012-01-27T05:00:00.003-06:00

The best and worst thing about winter is the calmness. The quiet.

And as much as I resent the cold I appreciate the canvas. The contrast.

Sun against snow is something really beautiful, you know. Like cheese and chocolate, or pretzels and ice cream, or sour cream on a hot tamale.

Wow I'm hungry.

The Communism of Cake

2012-01-25T14:08:00.002-06:00

Well, I don't know about you, but I could use a slice of Tom Selleck right about now.

This ~~MOST AMAZING SLICE OF CHOCOLATE MUSTACHE~~ cake is courtesy of Alicia Policia, who also created the fantabulous Muppet party I featured back in November. She made this cake TWO YEARS AGO and it irks me to think of all the time that went by without me knowing of its existence. How much cheerier would these years have been had known Tom Selleck cake was a life option?

And while I am not as handy with a frosting tube as Alicia, you can bet I will be attempting my own version soon. I feel Inigo Montoya deserves to be rendered in cake, don't you? Or Elvis. Or Cher. Maybe Liza Minelli. Oh crap, she already has a cake.

Trust me, he looks better in cake.

When I was in college my friend Joe, a cold war history buff, was obsessed with Mikhail Gorbachev, former General Secretary of Russia. Random: do we say Russia or USSR? Now it's Russia but when Gobachev was in charge it was the USSR. Anyway, you get the point--Joe was crazy for Gorbachev so we hired a bakery to airbrush Gobachev's picture on a sheet cake and lit it up with seventy gillion candles and surprised Joe for his birthday. It was amazing until someone started arguing about who got to eat the birthmark and someone else yelled IT BELONGS TO MOTHER RUSSIA and it all ended badly with a bottle of vodka catching fire from a birthday candle. There's probably some "for each according to their need" Marxist fable to be taken from the incident but that's a little too deep for this blog post. Bottom line is you can't be greedy with cake, especially communist cake, and double especially with Tom Selleck cake. His mustache belongs to all of us.

You can't procrastinate sequins

2012-01-24T12:53:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

It's temporary. Nothing to worry about, although, it is enough to make the world seem a little heavier than usual. It feels like my head is going to explode.

Yes, I should combat this by making lists of priorities and remember what is important. Quit procrastinating, set my head down and get the work done. I should also remember to take time for myself...take a quick winter walk, make a friendly phone call, or enjoy a delicious bubble bath...

Instead, today, I have chosen to spend nearly an hour arranging silver sequin sprays in a sculpted head.

And now it officially looks like my head is exploding.

Anyone out there have tips for combating procrastination? Feel free to share. I'm all ears (and sequins).

Here Come The Sloths

2012-01-20T10:03:00.000-06:00

Sloth Eating Spaghetti by Joe Havasy, $16.00

My love of cat videos has some new competition: sloth videos.

A sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica had the genius idea to document their residents on video and upload them to youtube.

Oh. Em. Gee.

This has sent me on a week-long sloth crusade, learning everything I can about these curious and delightfully strange creatures. Of course, my first instinct is to want to bring one home as a sibling for Lola but apparently that is the least helpful thing you can do. Sloths are not domesticated. And despite the wonderful rendering above by Joe Havasy, sloths do not eat spaghetti. Sloths are mighty jungle dwellers who feast on hibiscus flowers and bathe in gungy green tea. Don't believe me? Watch this!

The Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica has oodles more videos to keep you busy this weekend. If they successfully suck you into their web of cuteness (as if you had a choice), you can support their efforts by making a donation, or adopting a sloth for as little as $25 a month. You can even spend time volunteering at the sanctuary! Seriously, how cool would it be to tell the neighbors you spent your vacation potty training baby sloths? WAY COOL!

Happy weekend :)

Valentine Swap 2012: You in? (now closed)

2012-01-19T16:41:00.003-06:00

***TRUMPET SOUND TRUMPET SOUND TRUMPET SOUND***

Attention handmade valentine lovers!

Last year's Valentine swap was such a success we are doing it again. Are you in? In a nutshell, this is how it works:

You send three handmade valentines to total strangers = You will receive three handmade valentines from total strangers.

~~Sounds great, right?~~

~~So, you in?~~

~~Awesome.~~

Send me an email with your address: emailauntpeaches@gmail.com subject "valentine swap." It's easy! Please note: you need to send me an email. Comments are great but I can't count you in the swap unless you send me a direct email.

UPDATE: The swap signup deadline has now past. See you next year!

Knitty Gritty

Here is what you should expect:

You make three handmade* valentines.
You send me an email with your address before 5pm CST on Sunday, Jan 29.
You receive an email from me on Wed, Feb 1 with the addresses of three total strangers.
You send one valentine to each address you receive, no later than Sunday Feb 5.
You receive three valentines sometime around Valentines Day.

*Handmade is an open term. No one is expected to produce a masterpiece. If you are saying "But I can't make anything nice!" then you are *exactly* the sort of person who should participate. I want hear from YOU! Construction paper, paint, paste, macaroni, crayons, collage, glitter, pipe cleaners....sky is the limit. Only requirement is that it fit in a standard envelope.

Please Keep in Mind...

This exchange is open to anyone, anywhere, any skill level. No one is expected to buy anything except stamps (heads up: people who read this blog are scattered around the world, so we all might need to double up on stamps!)
You are welcome to include a note inside your valentines with information about yourself, your blog/website/etsy business etc...but it is not required or expected.
This is not an advertising opportunity. This is just a simple way to exchange random acts of kindness and send some love out into the world. No Debbie Downers, please :)
If you feel weird disclosing your name and address, I assure you I will not compile and use this information for any other purpose besides sending you valentines! Please be sure to include your name. Last year, some folks omitted their names and the post office refused deliver the cards, so just include your initials or nick name if you are uncomfortable with everyone getting up in your business.

~~Send me an email before 5pm CST on Sunday, Jan 29.: emailauntpeaches@gmail.com and include your address!~~

Update: Thank you to everyone who signed up. As best I can tell, nearly 200 people will be swapping Valentines this year. Look for an email with further info on Feb 1.