Aunt Peaches

Let's Talk About People Who are Awesome

2013-05-21T13:42:00.000-05:00

It’s Tuesday. I was planning on another post but it's been a crap day for a lot of people, including me. In light of this, I propose we take a chocolate break and spend a minute talking about people who are awesome. Like… ...for example, Yetta Rosenberg. Homegirl knows how to dress. Why is this show not on the air anymore? So much awesome. So much! Also in the awesome club: People who build fences around trees. Not with trees, around trees. Like this.. These fences...

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My Diet Coke still tastes like pool water.

2013-05-20T11:33:00.001-05:00

There is this thing called bleach dyeing that is all the rage. Or, at least it was all the rage. I’m not sure where it is in the current trend cycle, but when I woke up early Saturday morning with a desperate need for patterned curtains in my living room, it was a means to an end. Have you seen bleach dyeing? It sorta looks like that time your mom spilled bleach on your favorite black sweatshirt, but this time it’s on purpose. Some people splatter it on their jeans, some people draw it on with...

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Happy Weekend

2013-05-17T12:25:00.001-05:00

Oy. Am I glad it's Friday. Work has been busy. Like real busy. And when it’s not busy, I look up and find window washers making vulgar hand gestures and singing Puerto Rican folks songs. Soooo...that's pretty awesome. Speaking of offices, I missed The Office finale last night. Was it good? A friend texted me that there was a wedding with cats in attendance. AGHH! I need to see this!

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Newsprint Cabinets

2013-05-15T10:52:00.002-05:00

So, this thing happened last spring wherein I decoupaged my kitchen cabinets with newspaper. BAM! You didn't see that one coming did you? Newspaper and ready-made cabinets dancing together in some unorthodox swirl of muskrat love. How's that for a Wednesday? Okay, okay, this opens up two lines of questions... 1. Dude, wtf? Why would you want to decoupage your cabinets like some reject TGIFridays? Couldn’t you just paint them like a normal person? The cabinets were melamine...

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Sequels Wanted

2013-05-14T16:33:00.002-05:00

Sometimes something is so good that I get ticked off when it’s gone. Like, real ticked. I find myself sitting at stoplights thinking, impatiently, When are they going to bring THAT back? Haven’t they made me wait long enough?! Because, you know, they do this to me on purpose. Item 1. Six Feet Under. Best show ever. It’s about a funeral home and it’s rad. Notice how I’m not using the past tense? I just assume these characters are going on in real time, they just aren't filming...

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Pandora for Books

2013-05-13T10:28:00.000-05:00

So, here is a thing that will make you think I'm a jerk face: I hate The Great Gatsby. Considering I already mentioned about this in a previous post, and the fact that I wrote a really bitchy post last Friday, I don’t want to harp on this issue again. Nobody likes a shrieker. However, Leo DiCaprio went and got involved and errrrrrbody I know is talking about it so now I feel compelled to at least provide a reminder as to why this story is lacking. In short: Daisy is...

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The Other Thing They Aren't Selling at Abercrombie & Fitch

2013-05-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

This Abercrombie and Fitch thing... Have you heard about this? I’m guessing you have so I’m not about to drudge up the same old schlock, but here are the guts of it in case you want a refresher: youth clothing retailer Abercrombie and Fitch refuses to carry women's apparel above a size 10 because they only want "attractive" and "optimistic" people as customers. Note: This is not a new thing. This has been going on for years and Abercrombie is not alone in this business practice, however,...

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Imma need $1,150

2013-05-08T13:09:00.001-05:00

I’m pretty sure Donald Trump and I are the only people lusting after doorknockers in the thousand+ dollar range. And it’s no wonder, really. Donald Trump owns a string of second-tier casinos, a real estate empire, does a reality show, and spends his free time banging some Russian glamazon model-turned-wife that looks and sounds remarkably like Natasha from Bullwinkle. I, on the other hand, split my days between Pinterest, the subway, finding new ways to cook questionably-aged...

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Granny Plates Just Sound Sexier

2013-05-07T09:25:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking that the guy who said 'We are all sexual beings' never watched an episode of Antiques Roadshow. I'll also bet that he never went to a flea market, unlike me, who went last Sunday. It was...an adventure. We saw some dirty jars and broken machines. Ate a banana nut muffin, nearly bought a Mongolian sheep pelt, then had an overly anxious vendor dry spit half a can of Pringles on me. Have you ever stood next to a wood chipper when the trunk goes in and a projectile cloud of...

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Rad and Cheap: Weird Art Imma Need in My House

2013-05-06T13:39:00.001-05:00

Doctors can tell a lot about a person's health just by looking at their tongue; You and I can tell a lot about a person's life by looking at their art. Nothing reflects the people who live in a home like the art on their walls. Nothing. Is it a pre-framed print they bought to match the couch? Is it an inherited portrait of Great Uncle Bernie? Is it an exotic wooden mask from East Africa? Is it a picture of their kiddos looking happy? Is it something interesting an abstract...

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Because I'm a Hoarder: Pantyhose Headbands

2013-05-03T09:43:00.000-05:00

This is a really simple trick — I feel bad making a whole blog post out of this. And this is a weird fact about me — I have never thrown out a pair of nylons. Not once. Not since I purchased my first pair with my own money, which was in 1993. Twenty years, y'all! It was a Junior High dance and I wore opalescent white nylons that made my legs white and shimmery like a unicorn. Obviously, it was awesome. My dress was rusty red velvet with a scalloped neckline (just like Chelsea Clinton...

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Tacos for Everyone: Happy Birthday Lola

2013-05-02T09:56:00.001-05:00

It’s now been five years since Lola (formerly known as Lolabelle the Magnificent) arrived home from the shelter. Five years of dancing in the rafters of catladyhood. Five years of waking at dawn to the sound of bathtub yodeling and the scampering of fury, ham hock legs running the length of the house, back and forth, back and forth. Five years of hugs. Five years of hats. Five years of Lola. We celebrate this day of wonder with long naps, bad breath, and a hefty helping of Lola's...

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I Wallpapered the Fridge

2013-05-01T15:12:00.001-05:00

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Washi Tape Shelf Edging

2013-04-30T11:34:00.001-05:00

Here’s a simple something worth a lookyloo. Washi Tape. It’s my thing. It’s like...Hey, I’m Washi Tape. High strung Japanese teenagers use me to make school supplies look cool. Now you can use me to seal your envelopes and the utility company will think you are all cutting edge like that. Yeah, I’m Washi Tape. And I’m rad... I use washi tape on all sorts of stuff around the house. Last weekend I decided to use it on the edges of some temporary utility shelves in my living room....

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As You Wish, Monopoly

2013-04-29T09:15:00.000-05:00

Good news: Someone created a Monopoly board based on the movie The Princess Bride. And you know how I feel about The Princess Bride. And I have an Inigo Montoya on black velvet painting to prove it. Bad news: It is not for sale. It was made by a fan. It's like fan fiction but it's a board game and it's awesome. Apparently the folks at Parker Brothers have yet to sync up with the licensing folks for the movie and the rest of us are left to sit in wonder when the day will come when we can...

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Bramble Patch: April 2013

2013-04-26T12:01:00.001-05:00

Follow me on Instagram. Some of my favorite distractions from the month of April. Anyone getting their Cinco DeMayo on? This quick take on the old donkey pinata has me feeling like a solid gold Frida Kahlo. I need this sucker hanging over my claw foot bathtub year round. Thirteen mega-handy photography tips for DSLR cameras (warning: kept me busy all afternoon). Back in 1988, before she ran an global empire, Big Martha was doing Saturday afternoon infomercials complete with...

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On Fear, Foresight, and Fat Puppies

2013-04-25T13:51:00.002-05:00

So, I was talking with a friend last week about chipper stuff—mortality, death, and whatnot. We were discussing how the scariest moment in anyone’s life is the minute one recognizes a parent as a person. Not Mom or Dad. Just regular everyday people. What if you met one of your parents in the grocery store like a regular stranger— would you like them? Would you respect them? Would you want to know them better? If you had grown up together as peers, would you have been friends with your...

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Big Pinky: Ticket Stub Art

2013-04-24T10:30:00.001-05:00

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Portrait of a Lady

2013-04-22T13:43:00.001-05:00

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Bag of Tricks: Fruit Sack Pot Scrubber

2013-04-19T09:38:00.003-05:00

People are always giving me crap about hoarding random things but then, when I convert those "things" into useful stuff and they're all WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? So, listen, I'm telling y'all now: save your produce bags. The plastic mesh ones that are used to bind up lemons and oranges and onions. Clip the edges, pinch it into a bunch, and bind it with a zip tie. No zip ties around the house? Use one of those little wire twist ties from the produce section and peel off the paper....

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Paper Cups and Thoughts on Stuff

2013-04-18T15:16:00.001-05:00

Yay! Today I am guest posting a fun and easy tutorial on paper cup lanterns over at Elizabeth Banks. Actually, thing is, I’m a day late on this. My post went up yesterday. Today if you go to www.elizabethbanks.com you will see another post, a post I would much rather you read than my thing about paper cups. It’s an essay in response to Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. I think 50% of the women I know have read that book in the last 90 days...

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Easter Bonnets Part Deux: Coffee Filter Flower Hats

2013-04-17T09:59:00.000-05:00

So, as you may have seen in my earlier post Easter Bonnets Part Un, a few weeks ago, I was fixin up some fascinator style hats the Saturday before Easter (yes, last minute is my middle name). Anyway, so I am sitting there feeling very self-congratulatory about how cute those little hats looked when WHOMP I get an email from Michelle showing off Easter Bonnets made from using leftover coffee filter flowers she made using my tutorial. Well crap. How was I going to not make some great big...

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The Faceless Stuff

2013-04-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid my mother used to tell me that it was silly to be afraid of anything with a face. It’s the faceless stuff you have to worry about. As a kid, that notion was a comfort -- as adult, it’s a frightening prospect. Indeed, it is the things that come without a face that frighten us most. And for good reason... I had a tutorial scheduled for today but in light of what is going on in Boston right now I think I’ll give it a rest. In the meantime, if anyone needs a quick fix to...

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Cuckoo Craze

2013-04-15T11:44:00.000-05:00

I am going to Switzerland in September. To say I am excited about this trip is like saying the Pope is Catholic. It's an understatement. I can hardly wait. There is a village on the western edge of the Bernese Alps where I claimed home for several years growing up, but haven't been back since 1997. Part of me wants to keep those memories in cerebral snow globe, unbesmirched by the footprints of time. Another part of me wants to go and live inside those memories when things were so...

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Napkin Folding 101

2013-04-12T16:04:00.001-05:00

I have a thing for folded napkins. Don’t ask me why or where it comes from, it just makes me feel good. My house could be in a state of filth unfit to grow penicillin with laundry piled to the ceiling and dishes in the sink...barely enough room on the table to eat a bowl of raisin bran…but, if the raisin bran comes with a cloth napkin folded up like a bishop's hat, I feel just fine about the situation. I first learned to fold napkins as part of an etiquette class I attended...

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