Charlie called me after he had gotten home and changed clothes.  He wanted to come over and talk about his latest failure.  I winced as he described his latest run-in with the coolest girl at his school.  I totally got where he was coming from.  I wanted to fit in with the cool kids, too.  No matter how ridiculous my antics…I just wanted them to place their stamp of approval on me.  So, I got it.

Charlie and I talked for a long time.  He told me that in the back of his mind he knew she would pull the ball away again, but his heart told him maybe this time would be different.  I remember feeling that way.  I remember was it was like to know that I was aiming at a constantly moving bar of acceptance.  I remember how it felt when I would convince myself to be just a little bit smarter, a little bit funnier, a little bit better at music, a little more athletic.  Your heart really does tell you its going to be different.

Charlie Brown and I aren’t really all that different.  We both spent a lot of time trying to kick footballs.  We spent a lot of time on our back staring up at the sky and hoping against hope it was the last time there wouldn’t be a ball there as our leg swung through.  We agreed that we should stop trying to get other people to like us so much…that was years ago.

I still see Charlie every now and then.  Mostly in the newspaper or on TV a few times a year around the holidays.  Charlie is still trying to kick those footballs.  Truth be told: I am still trying to kick a few footballs of my own.

I flew from Atlanta to Harrisburg, PA for my brother’s wedding and on the way home felt the need to provide a series on my tips for navigating through any airport quickly and with less stress.  I guarantee if you follow these steps you will never set off the metal detector, you will never be in anyone’s way, and you will have less stress when you travel.

So far we have talked about how you should organize yourself prior to walking into the airport and how to make it through security.  Today we wrap it up with how to make it to your gate and onto the plane.

1. Always keep to the right.  Well, keep as far to the right as you can without being slowed down by others who aren’t as savvy as you.  Sometimes it seems as if people have never seen the inside of the airport before.  They walk slowly in the middle of the walkway, stop for no apparent reason in the middle of the walkway, and gaze around as if they have been magically transported to a new world.  So..keep right!
2. If you have to ride a train to get to your concourse don’t feel the need to run.  Since you are early you can just walk to the train.  If the doors close it isn’t a big deal.  Your life is not over.  Simply wait 45 seconds or so and the next train will be coming along.
3. When you exit the train proceed to the escalator.  Get on the escalator feet first with your rolling suitcase immediately behind you.  Your feet should go on one set of stairs and your suitcase on the one below that.  Keep to the right so that the late people can rush past you.  The point here is to keep everything in a vertical line as opposed to horizontal.  Once you reach the top of the escalator you can begin to walk knowing your suitcase is already behind you and in the proper position.
4. When you are seated in your gate area begin to rearrange your items.  This is the time to shift your toiletries bag from the outside pocket to the large opening.  This will prevent breakage when you slide your suitcase into the overhead bin.  Open your cloth bag and put on your watch, bracelets, rings, and retrieve your wallet and change.  Place your license back into your wallet.  Make sure your iPod, book, eReader, or any other items that you will want to use on your flight are in hand if possible.  If not make them very easy to access from your computer bag.
5. When your flight is called proceed calmly to the gate agent and reach into your shirt pocket and hand them your boarding pass.
6. Once aboard the plane stow your bag in an overhead bin and take your seat.  Your computer bag should be under the seat in front of you.  Don’t be one of those people that places both bags in the overhead bin.  That is selfish and rude.

You have now successfully boarded the plane with less stress and without bothering anyone else.  I guarantee if you follow these instructions you will have a much more enjoyable time navigating the airport.

I flew from Atlanta to Harrisburg, PA for my brother’s wedding and on the way home felt the need to provide a series on my tips for navigating through any airport quickly and with less stress.  I guarantee if you follow these steps you will never set off the metal detector, you will never be in anyone’s way, and you will have less stress when you travel.

Yesterday we focused on how you should organize yourself prior to walking into the airport.  Today we focus on how to make it through security.

1. As you approach the first TSA Agent you should reach into your shirt pocket (or strong hand back pocket) to retrieve your boarding pass and ID for presentation.  If you are traveling with children the agent will understand as you present all of the information for all of the children with yours.
2. The TSA agent will then leave their mark on your boarding pass and you will proceed to the metal detectors.  (I will update this as full body scanners become more prevalent.)
3. Grab 2 bins (or three if you have a particularly heavy coat).  Separate the bins and immediately reach into your laptop bag and remove your laptop and place it in the bin.
4. In the final bin you should reach into the outer pocket of your roll aboard suitcase and remove your quart sized ziplock bag.  Place this into the bin as you continue to slide along the table toward the machine.  At this point you should remove your belt and shoes and place them in the bin along with your ziplock bag.
5. Make sure all of your items are on the conveyor belt and confidently present yourself to the next TSA agent for permission to walk through the metal detector.
6. Retrieve your items on the other side in reverse order: Shoes on first, then belt, then ziplock bag, finally slide your laptop into the case.

You can take the time to go through the contents of your cloth bag in the hour or so left before you board the plane.  We have made it through the parking lot and security without rushing, causing others to wait for us, or forgetting anything.

Any other tips for us to get through security cleanly?

Aside from people that can’t drive; nothing irritates me more than people that can’t navigate through an airport.  When I worked for PricewaterhouseCoopers (an accounting firm) I traveled all the time.  I spent as much time in the airport as I did in my apartment some years.  In the 4 years I worked for PwC I flew well over 200,000 miles and stayed in my fair share of hotels.  (In fact I received a Christmas card from the manager at the Marriott City Center in Denver, CO because I stayed there so much.)

I flew from Atlanta to Harrisburg, PA for my brother’s wedding and on the way home felt the need to provide a series on my tips for navigating through any airport quickly and with less stress.  I guarantee if you follow these steps you will never set off the metal detector, you will never be in anyone’s way, and you will have less stress when you travel.

1. Buy a small cloth pouch and place all of your metallic items inside the pouch prior to leaving the vicinity of your car.  This includes your cellphone.  You can live without it until you get past security.  If you have children this is the time to inspect their pockets for stray metallic items just in case.  (This includes all car keys, loose change, watches, cuff links, earrings, wallet, etc.)
2. Make sure that all of your liquid items are 3oz. or less and are in a single 1 quart ziplock bag.  (Tip: You can use additional ziplock bags to individually wrap particularly sensitive items.  I usually wrap my cologne in a separate ziplock bag and then tuck it in my main ziplock just to ensure safety if it leaks.)  Place this bag in the outer pocket of your roller bag for easy access in the security line.
3. Before leaving your car take your boarding pass and ID (and all children’s boarding passes and ID’s)  You did check in at home or the office right? Place them in your shirt pocket for easy access.  (No shirt pocket?  Use your strong hand back pocket.)
4. Take any parking time stamp tickets and place them as far away from your cellphone as possible.  Usually this will mean your weak hand back pocket.
5. Double check that you have everything with you: Luggage, Sunglasses, Computer Bag, etc.

Note: If you are being dropped off at the airport these things should be performed at home before you get in the cab or car service.

Okay…now you are ready to begin your walk into the airport.  Next we will focus on getting

My brother got married this weekend and I was asked to speak at the rehearsal dinner.  I had a touch of writer’s block last week in preparation and found myself on the plane en-route to the wedding when inspiration struck.  Several people at the wedding asked to have a copy of my remarks and I thought it would be best to post them here.  Please feel free to print them and share with anyone that might be interested.

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In the Baptist church, communion Sunday was a big deal.  It didn’t happen every week, but only once a quarter.  Very serious looking men would wear their nicest suits and assist Dad as he instructed the congregation on the taking of communion.  To Clayton and I, when we were little it looked like they were more serious about this than when they took the offering.  And let me tell you, they were serious as they passed the plate each Sunday.

We loved the communion grape juice at church.  Being that our dad was the pastor we were lucky enough to get to drink a few extra cups of juice after the service was over on communion Sunday.  So, after drinking two of the juices we would quickly put them over our eyes and squint hard as if we were wearing a monocle.

We would then be reprimanded by Mom, and we would grab a few of the juices and line them up in a row right on the alter and see who could drink them the fastest.  I would later learn that this (at least in the Baptist world) was probably a little worse than kissing in the church van on a youth trip.  (Sorry, mom.)

Needless to say, there was something we really loved about that grape juice on communion Sunday.

During the first semester of my freshman year in college, I sang in the choir of Trinity Episcopal Church in downtown Asheville, NC.  I was a good Baptist boy from a fairly small town and while I am sure that we had an Episcopal Church or two in town, I was mostly unfamiliar with the style of worship that I would soon learn to call “Catholic Lite”.

I went to the first rehearsal on a Wednesday night and I remember thinking that if they have choir practice on Wednesday night it couldn’t be all that different from church back home.  I learned the music for Sunday’s service and went back to school that night ready to sing on Sunday.

As we were getting our robes on in the Choir Room at Trinity that Sunday, my good friend Jeremy Gale started to give me instructions.  “Stand to sing, sit to listen, and kneel to pray,” he said quickly.  He instructed me on how I was to cross myself and that we were supposed to say, “Thanks be to God,” after the scripture reader said, “This is the word of the Lord.”

I learned, through hushed whispers in the choir loft, that in the Episcopal Church communion is taken every Sunday.  I could not believe my great luck.  Not only was I getting paid $125 a month to sing in choir, I got communion every Sunday.

I watched with rapt attention at the way the Episcopal minister began the communion portion of the service.  He took a very large cracker, (it looked like a 5” Ritz cracker), and broke it in half while holding it above his head as he spoke of Christ’s body being broken for us.  He then raised a silver chalice over his head and spoke of the blood of Christ that was shed for us.

The organist began to play and we were instructed to stand in the Choir loft and form a line to receive communion.  There were times at my Dad’s church where we left our seats for communion.  This was an event more rare than someone raising their hands during a song however, so I was pretty excited to participate in communion like this.

I watched as each person knelt at the alter and bowed their heads.  I watched as each person either took a small cracker and held it in their hands to be dipped in the silver chalice, or went ahead and put the cracker in their mouth and were given a sip directly from the chalice.

Instantly I started to judge those who dipped their cracker.  Why on Earth would someone with the chance to get a whole mouthful of communion juice settle for a simple dip of a cracker.  I mean, if it were a piece of bread they could at least soak up a bunch, but this is just plain wasteful.

I knelt at the Alter and upon receipt of my cracker I put it in my mouth.  The minister slowly walked along to each choir member and one by one they either dipped or sipped from the chalice.  Finally, the minister was standing before me.  He lowered the chalice to my lips and I sucked in a whole mouthful of NOT GRAPE JUICE.

I would later learn that my eyes actually leapt out of my head and danced on the alter for 30 seconds.  In the meantime, Jeremy saw my reaction and whispered firmly, “YOU BETTER NOT SPIT THAT OUT!!!”  It was obvious to me at that moment that the rumors of Churches using real wine at communion was more than a rumor.

I had entered uncharted territory.  No matter how many questions I asked about the church or how much Jeremy tried to tell me before the service began, it was obvious that there were somethings I would not know until they happened.

Clayton and Gretchen you too are entering uncharted territory this weekend.  As much as you have tried to prepare and ask questions, as much as we have all tried to tell you the joys and pitfalls of marriage there is simply no way for you to know until it happens.

You will learn that you care a great deal about which side the toilet paper hangs down on, the correct definition of the word “clean”, and what qualifies as making the bed.  You probably don’t even think about it much right now…trust me you care more than you know.

You will have moments where you sit in the same room together and feel like you are a thousand miles apart.  Times when you want to go to your room and close the door only to realize that it’s their room, too.  Times when the other person just doesn’t do it the “right way”.

You will have times where you laugh together so hard that you both cry.  You will find that there are times that your heart is so full of love for each other you can hardly stand it.  Times when you want to pause life forever, just to keep that moment going forever
These are the uncharted territories of your life together.  I pray that when your uncharted territories bring you to an uncomfortable place one of you will look at the other and say: “YOU BETTER NOT SPIT THAT OUT!!”

Sometimes you can’t know everything.  No matter how much you prepare, how much you think, and how much you want to be awesome…you are just lacking.

It happened to me today.  I was working with a client walking them through a storytelling exercise.  By nature I am not structured and rigid, however, when clients are involved I tend to really pay attention that I stick to the time limits given to me.  So, I went into the meeting today with a plan to accomplish in 2 hours.  And, while I ran about 3 minutes long…it all happened in those 2 hours.

My main client contact and I were debriefing after our meeting and he had a point of feedback for me: I stuck too closely to the outline.  Their organization places a high value on a collaborative process that includes the ability to deviate from the plan to chase a few rabbit trails.  I on the other hand was working as hard as I could to keep us on point and wrap it all up in the allotted time.

So, I was lacking.  Lacking in the knowledge of their culture.  I was approaching it from my world view and my experience.  So, we got everything done, but the process wasn’t what they were used to.

I left feeling like a big fat loser…but I guess in the end I don’t know what I don’t know.  The good news is that next time I’ll chase a few more rabbits and let the time take care of itself.

It was somewhere between mile 3 and 4 today that someone was blaring “Born in the USA” along the race route.  As I listened to the beginning of that song something clicked in my brain.  I should be proud of where I was born.  I don’t know when it started.  There was no announcement, but slowly but surely a group of people in this country have decided that we should be apologetic for being American.

We are constantly bombarded with reminders that we are one of the richest nations on Earth and that somehow we should be embarrassed by that.  I don’t buy it.  I have a heart for countries that lack the freedoms, natural resources, and education that we have here in the United States, however, why should I be less proud of where I am from?  Shoot, even the President of the United States, Barack Obama, has apologized to the world for us being us.

I think it is high time we start being proud again.  As the World Cup has unfolded, ESPN announcers have lauded the pride of the fans of the other countries in the competition.  However, no one seems to laud the fans of the United States for having pride.

Why shouldn’t we be proud?  My favorite line from any movie actually comes from Rush Hour.  (Warning: Bad Language Alert) The main character, played by Chris Tucker, is in the police station after having caused a major explosion while trying to make an arrest.  His captain calls him into the office and dripping with sarcasm says:

“Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.”

I love that line because, while obviously not serious it really sums up the sentiment that sometimes we need to remind people who we are.  I think its time that we as a nation stand up and let the world know that we are still proud of who we are.  We aren’t sorry that we love our country.  We aren’t sorry that we love freedom and want to spread it around the world.

We feel like we live in the best country in the world.  We aren’t sorry that we were Born in the USA.

I’m not sure how dorky it sounded.  At the time I thought it was the right thing to say.  I guess when you are 12, scared to death, and wanting to be a leader of sorts you say stuff that when you are almost 30 sound really, really dorky.

There were five of us there that Sunday night at Lafayette Baptist Church: Me, Melissa Klerx, Sarah Bailey, Jeremy Holt, and JJ Kinstrey.  There might have been more, but those are the faces I remember staring back at me like I had just grown a third arm.  It was the night before the new school year started.  We were all going into the 7th grade and at our church that meant that we were moving from the children’s department to the youth department.  We would be hanging out with..wait for it…HIGH SCHOOL KIDS.

The four I mentioned before: Jeremy, JJ, Sarah, and Melissa all lived pretty close to one another in a different part of town.  (Also in that area were my good friends Jason and Jenna Hottel, Matt Klerx (Melissa’s older brother), Michael Bailey (Sarah’s younger brother), Matt Mabry (Michael’s neighbor and best friend…he was also in my mom’s kindergarten class.))

That Summer we would go pool hopping between the Klerx’s, Bailey’s, and Mabry’s pools.  I probably exaggerate the amount of time we were over there, but it felt like almost everyday.  (If we weren’t at one of their pool’s then we were at the Sports Center pool.)  The highlight of that summer was getting in a big group and all going to see Mrs. Doubtfire.  You know, the one where Robin Williams is in drag.

We were close that Summer.

I don’t know when I realized that I should be scared of going into the youth group.  Some switch flipped in my head, as if I had eaten the poisonous apple of adolescence, and I felt naked.  All of a sudden I realized that I wasn’t cool enough to be in youth group and that if I was going to survive I needed to have a posse with me.

So, I turned to them at the end of the service and said with as much courage and bravado as I could muster: “Guys, its just us now.  We have to stick together when we get into the youth group next week.  We have to be a team.”

I think JJ shook his head and Jeremy laughed, Melissa groaned and Sarah (my friend from 1st grade all the way to this day) tried to make me feel better, but I knew that I had already screwed up and youth group was only a week away.

Dear Courtney,

They tell me that the first wedding anniversary the “paper anniversary”. By now you have already opened the three boxes of paper note cards I bought for you, and you have read the paper card I bought that was enclosed in a paper envelope. But, for me a guy that spends the majority of my time away from you (and if I am being honest…a good portion of our together time) NOT using paper, I thought it would be fitting for that card to send you here to read my anniversary note.

When people ask me, “Austin, what have you learned since you got married?” I usually respond with a joke: “Well, I learned that I really care a whole lot about what side of the roll the toilet paper hangs. I never knew how important toilet paper hanging was to me before I got married.” I respond that way to people because I know they don’t really have time to hear all of the things I learned in the last year. (And everyone likes a good joke.)

Here is what they don’t have time hear:

• When it rained everyday on our honeymoon I learned that saying, “Well, at least we aren’t at work,” isn’t the best way to comfort you.
• When I lost my job last Fall I learned that you are more of a teammate than I could have ever imagined.
• When we moved into our new house I learned that you can carry heavier things than I give you credit for.
• When you imitate me to our friends I learned that you are pretty funny. (Never fear..I am still the funny one.)
• When I got serious about getting healthy I learned that you were willing to radically change your own life to help me
• When my grandmother passed away I learned that you love my family as much as I do.
• When I hurt your feelings I learned that you are forgiving and love me anyway.
• When finances got tight I learned that you were willing to cut the budget to the bone without complaining.

And, that is just a snippet of the things I learned this year. The most important thing I learned is that you are funnier, smarter, more loving, and more beautiful everyday.

I am so grateful I can share my life with you. Happy 1st Anniversary.

Love,

Me

Son of a Preacher Man

My dad is a preacher and there was this girl in my class at school whose dad was also a preacher.  In my little fourth grade head it was a no brainer that this beautiful girl was sent straight from God just for me.  It was puppy love at first sight.

I had a best friend that year…2 of them actually: Matt and Charlie and they knew all about my crush on the preacher’s daughter in our class.  I didn’t hide it as good as I thought I did because I think everyone knew.  (When I say “I think” I mean that everyone in the class saw the Valentine I brought her and how much bigger it was than the others.)

Someone in our class had a birthday party at the skating rink.  Having your party at the skating rink was a step in the right direction socially, but this was the Holy Grail of skating parties.  The parents of my classmate had rented out the ENTIRE RINK for the party.  There were 30 of us there and we had the whole place to ourselves.

My Big Chance

I thought for sure this was my big chance to score a couples skate with my big crush.  We skated all afternoon and I made sure she was near by when the DJ played The Ghostbuster’s theme song.  I am not sure what it is about that song, but when it comes on you just want to skate a little faster and you pull out your best crossover skate turns around the corners.  (The ultimate was if you could to do the backward skate/crossover turn/while bobbing up and down to the beat of the music move…I could not do it.)

I thought for sure the couples skate was a shoo-in after that performance.  I looked at the end of the rink and sign for “All Skate” was illuminated and I waited.  Just as the slow guitar intro started the “Couples Skate” sign was illuminated and the DJ said, “It’s time for a couples skate in the regular direction.”  I quickly scanned the rink to find my crush, I began to panic when I couldn’t see her.

Crushed

To my horror she was heading on to the rink surface holding hands with someone else: my good buddy, Matt.  My little 10 year old heart was crushed.  How could this be happening.  As I grabbed the hand of my last resort and moved onto the floor I vowed to skate this couples skate so well that my crush would see that she chose the wrong partner.

That was almost 20 years ago.  I think I have told that story about 1,000 times.  It was the first time my heart got broken.  At the time I couldn’t imagine anything worse happening in my life, but that’s what you think when you are 10.  I look back now and laugh.  The funniest part is that she probably had no idea how I felt.  I don’t think I ever got up the courage to tell her.  (No wonder she chose Matt.)

It’s amazing what you remember from your childhood.  I am sure somewhere along the way I broke some hearts, caused some hurts, and left some fences un-mended.  But, you never really forget the first time you feel like that.  It all came rushing back yesterday when my fourth grade crush friended me on Facebook…its funny what you remember.  Thanks for the memories, G!