Understanding your values is important in so many ways, so knowing what they are is useful. I’ll be writing a fuller article on this soon. When working with people I like to ask about values, but this is not so effective when the person is working by themselves. So it is usual to ask people to select values from a list.

When confronted by a list of values, long or short, it becomes quite daunting to pick the right ones. Lists don’t do it for me, so I thought I’d try this instead.

If you were asked to choose values from these images, which would you like to use, colour or black and white?

Please leave a comment.

Thank you!

Share/Bookmark

I had the pleasure of travelling to Switzerland last week to witness a machine being tested. The clients were from Turkey and it was the first time they had seen such technology. I was there as the ‘expert’, having had experience of operating and maintaining a similar process.

Over the two days of trials, they asked many questions, both of the machine manufacturer and of me. I was prepared for the deep technical questions, and had done my research when preparing for the trip. What struck me was the simplicity of the questions that inevitably were at a very fundamental level. The usual ones started with ‘Why’, and as they developed some familiarity they asked the ‘What’ and the ‘How’ questions. They demanded more of me as I was searching for answers based on first principles rather than advanced technology. I made an assumption that they knew something when in fact they were coming to this with no prior knowledge and a great deal of curiosity.

As I reflected on this, I wondered about my coaching clients and how much we all assume. I may assume the client is keen to think about a particular topic, yet all the time is avoiding the most important one. The client may assume that they know themselves really well, when their ‘blind spot’ is obvious to everyone. So I learnt a lot over those 2 days, both as a professional engineer and as a professional coach. Never assume anything. Ask the right questions to test assumptions, and most of all, always have a sense of curiosity and wonder. It makes for a great learning mindset!

Share/Bookmark

As I look to expand on the resources I can use to help young people, I came across this site which uses video. I quite like it, perhaps you might find out useful too.

The only thing with videos is that they communicate one way. They may inspire, motivate and inform, yet the young person may still need the support to get up from the video and do something…

Share/Bookmark

This latest talk is about connection. How well we connect with ourselves and how well we connect with others. Picking up the latter thread, I have the privilege of coaching leaders in all areas of business, and invariably there will be at least one conversation about dealing with staff. As you might guess, it tends to be how to deal with someone who is ‘difficult’ rather than someone who is passionate and over-enthusisastic, but that’s another story.

The typical approaches that I have seen are for the lines to be drawn and the battle to commence, or for the positions to be entrenched and the negotiations to begin. Yet there is a third way, and probably more, but let me just explore something different. This is an approach I have seen in exceptional leaders, the ones you and I admire. Their approach is simple, profound and yet extremely difficult for those who have been developed in a competitive mindset. The approach? Connect with the person who is ‘difficult’. Don’t ignore them. Talk, and more importantly, listen. They will help you in ways you never thought was possible, but only if you connect.

Let me give you an example. As I was typing this blog, I got a call on my telephone. I answered and at the other of the the line was a young man in another city looking to sell me something. A typical reaction would be to slam down the phone and be angry about the interruption, or to have an argument with the guy for wasting your time. Which route do you take? Yet I took a different action. I chatted with him, and we agreed that he didn’t need to sell me something I didn’t need and in fact, we found we had a lot in common, so that he understood why I didn’t need it and I appreciated why he was making the call. We hung up smiling, both of us having an unexpected and positive connection.

The key to this is making the choice. Before you engage with someone, decide how you want to connect with that person. Decide if you want it to be negative and upsetting, or positive and uplifting. It is down to you.

Ken Robinson also touches upon making a connection with yourself. He quotes Carl Jung in saying that all malaise is down to a loss of faith. Faith in yourself perhaps. Loss of confidence, self esteem or whatever. A loss of connection with the inner you, the person within you who can achieve anything. Remember that person? They have not gone, they are still there, but for many, the connection is gone. Yet, it is easy to re-connect. You know how to do it, so why not do it now?

A short excerpt of the film of Ken Robinson on imagination and empathy…

A full length film of Ken Robinson on educating the heart and mind…

Think about it and enjoy the insights.

Share/Bookmark

The World is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round, and it has thrills and chills and is very brightly colored, and it’s very loud. And it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they’ve begun to question, ‘Is this real, or is this just a ride?’, and other people have remembered, and they’ve come back to us and they say ‘Hey, don’t worry. Don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.’ and we KILL THOSE PEOPLE.

“Shut him up! We have alot invested in this ride! SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account, and my family. This just has to be real.”

It’s just a ride.

But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that. You ever noticed that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter, because … It’s just a ride.

And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear wants you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead see all of us as one.

Here’s what we can do to change the world right now, to a better ride:

Take all that money we spent on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing, and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and WE CAN EXPLORE SPACE, TOGETHER, BOTH INNER AND OUTER, forever … in peace.

– Bill Hicks (1961 – 1994)

Share/Bookmark

The International Coach Federation (ICF) asked me to get involved in their annual survey, and today I got the 2012 Executive Summary.

The key points are:

• Coaching continues to grow, especially in Western economies, though other regions are expanding
• There remains optimism about the future of coaching as a profession
• The key issue for coaching is the number of people starting in the industry without any training

It makes interesting reading.

What are your impressions?

Share/Bookmark

Wilhelmina Anna Theresia Wong

We hear of many brave stories of those who demonstrate a strong will to live. What about having the will to die?

My mum passed away last week. She was an extraordinary woman. One of her many qualities was her strong determination. Be it her desire to get something done despite the odds, to do what was right, or to simply have her own way, she never faltered in her focus to see something through to the end, no matter the timescales. Minutes, hours, days, years.

Mum was happy to talk about death. She didn’t want any fuss, a simple funeral would suffice. She joked about the practicalities of being buried in a black plastic bag to save costs. Why spend all that money on an expensive coffin when the person is already gone. Better to give flowers to the living than the dead.

Mum wanted a quick death. As a nurse she had witnessed first hand people suffering a long, slow and painful existence prior to death. All she wanted was to die peacefully in her sleep.

A few weeks ago mum had a fall. Nothing life threatening. She was rushed to hospital where complained of severe back pain. Drugs helped a little with the pain though she was immobile. Rather than take up scare medical resources she was allowed home. She settled, and within a few days, passed away quietly and unexpectedly. An ambulance was called, they managed to revive her vitals and get her to hospital, where she died a few hours later without ever regaining consciousness.

The post mortem could not find an obvious cause of death, and the coroner’s tests are still awaited. Mum’s cremation was a few days ago, where family and friends celebrated her life and shared memories of her sense of humour and her strong character. So what did mum die of?

One could argue that the signs indicated that mum had had enough. It was her time to die. Rather than being a burden to others and not wanting to suffer, she got what she always wanted, passing away quietly at home. They may never find out why and perhaps the death certificate may simply state ‘Cause Unknown’. My mum certainly loved a mystery.

Yet is it a mystery? Perhaps, through the pain, knowing what was yet to come, she decided that enough was enough. She had ultimate control and decided to use it. She willed herself to death.

If sheer will can keep us alive, then it can also allow us to die. Between these two extremes, you can use your will to achieve anything. Think about it, then perhaps you might want to do something with that thought.

Rest in peace, Mum.

Share/Bookmark

I suppose we have all done it at one time or another, if only to pass the time. Some do it more consciously by using the pen and paper to draw out ideas, develop a new product, or help someone understand. The stories of new businesses being built from a sketch on the back of and envelope or beer mat are many. Google it and check it out.

I use doodling when I am coaching. Some people just like to talk and listen, others want to take things into the own hands – literally – and either write or sketch things down. Putting things down on paper provides a different perspective, it allows things to become more real rather than just a fleeting thought or a figment of imagination. For some it provides such clarity that the next step forward becomes obvious.

It seems there are others who think the same as I do about doodling. It even got a mention at a recent TED talk:

I have also found a pretty good book which uses doodling as a problem solving tool. The book is perhaps a little long for my liking, yet many pages are there to give the reader some space to try out a few doodles for themselves. The methodology is sound, and as a way to get one person or several people to look at a problem differently and then find a solution, this is a fantastic tool. See what you think. Unfolding the Napkin: The Hands-On Method for Solving Complex Problems with Simple Pictures

So, instead of being a closet doodler, how about putting those drawing to good use. How can you use them to help you?

Share/Bookmark

I have heard this question many times over the years and admit to being a little overwhelmed by it. My thoughts run into overdrive as I analyse all the permutations of the things I am passionate about. Of course, it depends on the context. For me it would be my partner and my children, for sport it would be football and for recreation it would be hill walking. For work it would be to serve people.

I didn’t always know that. From an early age it was all about making a living, getting on in life and keeping up with others. My parents worked long hours serving fish and chips and I was expected to help out. At times I resented it. It was hard work, we took a lot of abuse when serving customers and we went home stinking of vegetable fat. In time I came to enjoy it. It was a mindset change when my father explained that for some people, this was the only hot meal they would have that day and so it was up to us to serve the best we could. It didn’t alter anything about peeling a bag of potatoes but it did change my perspective.

It has been a long time since I last served fish and chips to anyone. Through a whole series of events and life’s ongoing journey I now find myself serving people in a different way, through coaching and mentoring. So perhaps I was always following my passion. It is only recently that I became aware of this. So what, you ask?

Following your passion isn’t everything. It is only part of the answer when considering what you want to do with your life. Neil Crofts considers passion in helping to identify your life purpose. Perhaps that is a better way forward, following your passion within a context.

So, if you are as overwhelmed by the question as I am, don’t be put off. It is a valid question, and can be a lot of fun to answer. Once you have some thoughts on paper, consider a few other things, like how you might bring more of those things you are passionate about into your life, as well as using that as a starting point to explore other questions, like your purpose in life.

Coincidentally, as the idea of writing about following your passion came into being, I came across this video. It made me laugh out loud, and then made me think. Perhaps that is the sign of a good storyteller, someone who can both entertain and provide insights. As you enjoy the video, be aware of what amuses you, and the insights it gives. Perhaps you may even find your passion…

Enjoy!

Share/Bookmark

It takes courage, self belief and a lot of passion to be a true leader, though many would argue that you also need to be a little mad to want to take on the responsibility. Yet if no-one else does, how are we going to change the world for the better? How are we going to improve the life of others, build a society that we can all feel proud of, and enable people to find their own rhythm and dance…

What tune are you dancing to?
 
 

Share/Bookmark