Was filled with positive thoughts about the young boy in checkers shirt when he first sat down w his plate f rice. I thought he was so independent, worthy of my praise.

Then he stood up and walked away. Came back w a set of steel cutlery.
Oh turns out he was using a plastic spoon initially.

Then he took off his bag and drop it on the floor. Drop literally not put.

and soon enough the plastic spoon landed on the floor as well. Quietly and as discreet as possible, right underneath the table where he sits.

Another young boy, a woman and a man came and sat at the table.

The woman scolded the boy regards the bag.

I wonder what will she do if she knew the boy dropped the spoon.

On my side, as a righteous public member I should have pick it up and place it on his table. (It’s alright afterall to change the mind and wanted to use a steel spoon instead. Just leave it on the table, why do you litter?)

But it feels like if I do that I’m being a teacher again, correcting “student”. Mind your own business Amanda.

But what is it? Lack of the right Parenting? Lack of education in school?

Or is it a blatant unawareness that everyone plays a part in keeping the environment clean?

And don’t you dare tell me drop the spoon on the floor so the cleaner has a job to do. (Unless jokingly of course).

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

He reminds me of my ex-boss, that master wugui, that one that de-constructed me…

Extract from a previous blog entry: 2011 in Review

I changed, this year. I did.

Not glad of the process, I appreciate, but it could have been less destructive.

Remember the part about me saying “Rebuilding Amanda Val”.

Why?
I worked with a boss that has been through plenty in life the harsh way.
So while we were working together to start up his company, I had to grow up very fast.

I used to work with kids, so in as much as I am a grown up girl, developed physically, but mentally, I am not ready to be a business woman.

So the whole idea of plucking out the weeds, is like extensive and rough plowing.
and you know me being the innocent and always-accepted me, that was a very rough process.
Like brutally stab and dragged, slashed and split apart. Like Freddy vs Jason come alive.

It was devastating mentally, but I learnt much mannerisms of being an adult, being a little bit more than just being a teacher in a very protected environment.

I grew up.

 

I came to understand that not everyone is in-love with my child-like-ness.
I came to understand that my actions and attitude is acceptable for everyday interaction but not necessary desirable for business handling.

That form of harshness inflicted upon me, became a learned behavior that I in-turn manifest unconsciously.
It developed higher standards for other people, and sad to say not so much for myself.

I lost plenty of zen-ness, I use to be calm and cool able to take things at its stride, but seems like that part of me went missing…

and a round up from the entry #23xmas

 

I’m in love this Christmas. In a very non boy girl relationship way.
I’m thankful that there is hope
I’m thankful that there are friends who reminded you not to lose yourself.
I’m thankful that money isn’t the only thing that makes the world go round (although it is important).

These are both successful man, with the latter being of younger age.
But as you listen to them, you watch them, you’ll be inspired to be like them, early retirement, letting money grow itself for you. Roll… Roll.. and you dont really have to toil.

Unconsciously, you want to be like them.

So he was sharing his story, and I listened on, and it got me thinking, why is he telling me this?
Maybe he is very proud of himself, maybe he is very prideful, maybe he is thinking for the good of me and wants me to succeed too
So I asked him why, and I was like “What the hell?” “Hello, this is the first meet up”

He explained, the topic just came up, theres no intention, Amanda thinks too much.
Then he proceed to count the number of white hairs I have. Its damn funny.

And on another note, I explained myself saying that I pointed out “maybe you are very prideful of yourself thats why you shared” is not meant to offend him, he answered he cannot control what I feel regards what he said. True enough.

On the train ride home, I asked myself, why do I think so much? Then I concluded, and as I’ve posted on the facebook posting:

“I think, one will never get the message if one doesn’t get the intention of the message.”

So we moved on to another topic.

I listened, and I just conclusively brushed it off saying I’m not interested in generating that kind of wealth, not interested in business and investment.
My bad, I spoke too fast (happens often). Not that I am not interested, it just happens that it isnt in my chain of thoughts or priority at the moment to be rich or be ready to retire. With all due respect.

But, Oh yes, Ladies and Gentleman, have no doubt, I am interested in making money. Trust me, I am.

I realize a magnificent difference in my respond.
“I thought I’ll be overwhelmed and struck down with admiration again, but this time, no it didnt happen. I think I grew up…” – again, facebook posting.

If I hadnt been through with my master wugui, I probably would be all swept over by his talk. Be engrossed and all that.
But I didnt.

That I felt, is a form of growing up.
When I’m not at all hypnotized to take on the formula of success/wealth generation.

That I wanted things my way. That I wanted to pursue life my way.

We chatted and I got into the topic of being objective at work, raising things up to management, that I need to suck it in and achieve, the datelines I set. The meaning of life I seek. The happiness I pursue.

He concluded that I’ve got it all sorted out.

I’m not sure about that. Cos the way I work, I’m a good worker. Not a good co-worker, boss or even entrepreneur.
Perhaps I should choose to relax abit more and be like one of the colleagues, or win people over more?
But thats not me la huh? I dont have to succumb to people’s standard just so that I can be like the standard.

I havent had things sorted out.
I just like my current mode of operation, although not many people can comprehend it.

I asked a friend who is also very unique on her own.
Have I “got it all figured out?”

She answered:

“I dunno, U gotta ask yourself. But I dont think anyone could have it all figured out. Things changed all the time.”

True that.

One thing I’m pretty sure about, I think I can be peaceful for a very long time.
I may not have the luxury to travel or many other things.

But at least I dont doubt what I do, and I kinda know what I’m doing. Do you?
(There are many people who dont know what they are doing, they are just following the routine so that they can bring money home.)

Life is what you want it to be.

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love
Amanda

p/s: Like I said in #23 xmas
I’m thankful that there is hope
I’m thankful that there are friends who reminded you not to lose yourself.
I’m thankful that money isn’t the only thing that makes the world go round (although it is important).

Been wanting to do it since April maybe?
Tattoo is addictive, after you got your 1st one, the idea of going for a 2nd one always linger.
At any time it will pounce onto you… Like a leopard on a kid…
Like a snake on a rat.

So, my #2 would be the above. “Once upon a time”

Not that my life is a fairy tale, or that it was once a fairy tale that’s why its once upon a time.

But simply because I was once my own boss.
Working freelance was NEVER in my chain of thoughts. Because the income is unstable, and wanting to be the responsible me, that is unthinkable.

Then came the time I left my learning centre job and went into Tuition.
It worked out very well, till it came to the point when I was thinking of registering it as a company with ACRA.

But well, a twist of events and I’m back to office hour, office job again.

It is not a fairy tale, it is not a happy life.

But it is one that I took the courage to experience a change.
it is one that I found joy.
it is one that I don’t have to be disappointed.
it is one that I am my own boss.
it is one that I am forced to slow down and change.

Once upon a time.

-

Jiggle over if you hadnt read my tattoo analysis reads.

I knew I wanted “Once Upon A Time”. But I couldnt make up my mind as to whether there should be “…” or not. or that there should even be “.”

then got reminded “…” was as though its a reminisce. or things that is suppose to have a lot of thought on.

Nope, that wasn’t what I want.

Its a chapter. Its a phase in my life. So why not a “.”?

Didnt feel “Once Upon A Time.” is appropriate. Feel it doesnt really look good with a “.”

So decided as “Once Upon A Time”

Then went to look at fonts, I know I wanted tails and curves.

In-fact the O is a different font face from the rest of the words.

Had to decide “Once Upon A Time” or “Once Upon a Time”
Then the artist commented “Once upon a time” like a fade-out, following the rhythm.
Fine enough.

Felt just 4 words like that is pretty plain so wanted to add design, the other artist couldnt really come up with one that is not too fanciful. Cos I’m still shuttling between Education and Marketing.

At one time, he drew for me 4 stars………… -_-”

Then I realize, there isnt a lot of curve or tails isnt it?

and finally the artist came up with a tail at the “e”

Although it lingers, its not “…”, it actually feels classy and I get my tail.

It will be what it will be.

Its not me to turn back. and I like the feel of it.

That artist that commented on the fade out. He said I think too much.
Irritating Josh.

Maybe I’ll put up a photo of it when it’s healed.

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Photo for rememberance:

I’m sorry you guys had to stick with all the posts from 9Gag and stuff…

I love you love you love you!!

Source:http://www.mywedding.com

Talking about love, Got in and out of love recently.
I think I learnt a lot of it.
and I think this guy truly loved me, when we were together.

You know a guy is in-love with the girl *at that point of time* when you see him sniffing or kissing her while on an escalator.

No, not saying that old couples who doesn’t do such things anymore are not in-love.
Its just a point of illustration.

But well. Its not meant to be I guess, though he proposed and all that jazz.
It really served as a reminder of what love is.
The emotions one, when its the spurr of the moment.
The faithful one that one is suppose to stick it through.

Yar.. the 2 statements above seems to be the best description for love.

Alright, lets move on.
Yes, Amanda is on the market again.

Yes, please be very jealous, this mouth watering dish is just a distance away from my office. *MUAHAHAHAHA!

SO anyway, new job, or multiple jobs. Whatever that is, whatever the current job is.
I was just hearing from people, analyze friend’s situation, applying it to people’s responses, helping a friend get out of a job. Analyzing bosses’ acts and deeds.

and this came unto my mind:

could it be.. every job we go, bosses will disappoint, colleagues will gossip, unhappiness is but from people but not the work? I’m sadden…

Its true that sometimes work is really tough. But a lot of people just hate the messenger. The one that made the work hard.

Do you hate your boss? Why do you hate them?

I am a very prideful worker. I take pride in my work, and I often have my own opinion.
But one thing I always do, I follow boss’s instruction.
Why, because I honor them.
Why, because they pay my bills.
Why, because they have been through more than I did.

Why not be objective and just do the work. If it isnt your way, reason it out. If it still doesnt work, suck it up and do it, or look for something else.
Don’t stay and be an ass, don’t stay and bite the hands that feed you.

Sad truth is it happens everywhere.
I pray I won’t be like that in time to come.

and like I shared with the relevant persons. Let the KPIs speak.
Yes, I’m a KPI person.
I’ll fail too.

Anyhow, my point is, be objective, earn your pay.

Life is what you want it to be.
Ha.

So there we are.

A quick update of whats been in my life
Love you~

Thank you for coming by.

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

any suggestions for font? I like it cursive..

please leave a comment

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda