For most of my career, I was busy with work and the little remaining time was dedicated to my family. While this arrangement made me feel like I was taking care of everything, over time it left me feeling hollow.

Somehow I knew that the empty feeling was from not doing the things in life I was born to do.

When the pace would slow down a bit I would think up big plans for how I could fix my work or my life to fill that gap. But none of these dreams were practical – and deep down I didn’t believe that they would really fix things anyway.

Then one Saturday afternoon about ten years ago, I had a realization: I had been getting little signals all along about how to find what I was made to do. I just needed to follow my spark.

It happened when I took this photo of my daughter.

The little teardrop under Meg’s left eye took my breath away. I didn’t know why, but luckily I decided to do more photography.

I've since realized that it wasn’t because I was meant to only do photography.

But the photography tapped into the spark in me. It was the start of a great journey.

Following the photography led to amazing growth in my life. I met new friends. I took some beautiful photos of my daughters. I learned a lot about myself. Through more than a few ups and downs, photography taught me how to learn new things without going to school and without having to stop working or being a good dad and husband.

Through these and other paths, seeds were planted that helped shape what I get to do now: At a photography school in the mountains of North Carolina I shared a room with 70-year old Bob and learned how he managed a sane career at GE. In a photography group I learned about Photoshop but also met the blogger who inspired Avocationist.com.

You are not meant to feel like you are missing something inside.

When you start paying attention to your spark, that hollow ache will go away immediately. In its place will be energy and hope. And they lead to inspiration and ideas.

Here are some places to pay attention: What makes your heart beat faster? What stores always grab your eye? Whom do you admire?

Follow those impulses and find your spark.

Have you completed employee reviews in the last month? Did it feel like a good use of your time? Did you feel like you were really building value in your company or did you feel like you were checking off a box on someone else’s cover-my-butt list?

Be honest.

When your Outlook calendar is completely colored in and you don’t know what half of the meetings are, you should probably start to think about giving yourself a demotion.

I’ve been inspired reading Seth Godin’s new book “Linchpin” which launches today. (Buy it here. I love the book because you can dive in anywhere and pick up some uncomfortably challenging advice.)

In the spirit of Seth's book, I offer my favorite way to free up time while making a bigger impact at work...

One of Seth’s most uncomfortable sections (for those of you in corporate jobs) is on the commoditization of white-collar jobs. If you are just checking off other people’s boxes you are putting yourself at unnecessary risk of becoming just like any other middle manager. Which means that you can be replaced with any other middle manager.

Instead, Seth challenges each of us to become a Linchpin:

The linchpin is an individual who can walk into chaos and create order, someone who can invent, connect, create and make things happen. Every worthwhile institution has indispensable people who make differences like these.

If you are sitting in someone else’s meetings all week you aren’t becoming indispensable.

You are in a career holding pattern at best and in danger of a career death spiral at worst.

Working more hours will just make it harder for you to make a big contribution. You need a way to focus your efforts on something that will challenge you and bring real value to your company, without requiring another 30 hours of meetings each week.

Here’s my radical suggestion for creating more time and flexibility in your job: give yourself a demotion from management to a position where you can directly make a strategic contribution. I call this “strategic downshifting”.

Just like downshifting in a car, this gives you more power and control. It also makes your engine rev higher and gives you faster acceleration. That is to say, you can create a place where you can be excited about your work again.

I’ve done this three times in my career and I know of dozens of others who have had similar experiences. There are several factors to a successful downshift:

• Find a place where you are excited and can see new possibilities

After we sold a company where I was VP of Sales & Marketing, I was excited about applying our new parent company’s licensing business model to our old industry. I knew it was a chance to influence a significant change in the way optics were sold for cell phone cameras. But I couldn’t do it from my management role. Instead, I took responsibility for leading the business development efforts by myself with no team.

• Look at previous jobs to find great launching pads

Bob got passed over for a promotion early in his career at GE. Instead of continuing to press for a management role, he focused his productivity on inventing new products. He had a happy, sane 40 year career there and was awarded over 50 patents. (The guy who beat him out for the management job was let go 6 months later in a restructuring effort).

• Build a new constituency to support your efforts

Work with your management to ensure a graceful transition. Even more importantly, make sure that you have support from people excited about what you will be doing in your new (old) role. They can help smooth over any resistance you encounter.

• Watch out for the pull back into management

Traditional advice says that taking a step backwards on the career ladder means that you are done for. This is exactly the opposite of my experience. I have found that the wisdom and passion you bring to a downshifted role tends to bring results and recognition. My shift to a direct sales role netted me a bonus within 6 months.

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7:06 pm at the Hilton. Running late from work. Pay my $15. Put on nametag. Gulp. Walk into a ballroom of strangers standing around chatting. Everyone knows someone but me. Crap. Maybe I’ll just stand in the corner…

Have you ever experienced the "yuck" factor of networking? Do you feel like you have to pretend to be someone different to make new contacts? Do you feel guilty about bothering people you'd like to meet?

I did too. Then I learned that networking was something I already knew how to do.

I just had to forget everything I'd read about the "right way" to connect with people.

Instead of fearful cold calls or sweaty-palmed handshakes, think about lunch with an old friend.

What do you talk about? Maybe how she is doing, what's going on in her life, or how her work is.

You share a new recipe or a restaurant recommendation. She gives you the name of a book that can help with your business. You remember that she loves painting and offer to introduce her to your neighbor who owns a gallery.

You have fun. You re-connect. You share.

Afterwards, you feel great and you've both helped out a good friend and built on your relationship.

Guess what? That's all there is to "networking".

It's how I've met best-selling authors, friends all over the world and how I've learned most every cool thing I've ever done.

But I also tried the networking receptions, the cold-calling and the mercenary focus on "what's in it for me?". None of these did much for me other than make me feel like a loser. It's really no wonder that networking has such a scary connotation.

If you want to find a new job, a mentor or just meet some cool new people, here are three tips for guilt-free (and fun) networking:

1. Skip networking meetings and start with your friends

You are only a few degrees of separation from most anyone you'd ever want to meet. Instead of trying to impress strangers in artificial 30-second meet-and-greets, reconnect with old friends, colleagues or neighbors.

2. Unless you just love networking, don't do it until you have a specific reason

When you are looking for a job or trying to get new clients, networking is the best way to find openings and new opportunities. Networking is also a great way to find the best daycare or guitar teacher.

But unless you just love meeting people, don't add it to your list of "things I really should be doing". Just wait until you have a specific reason to expand your connections - it will make it easier for your friends to help you find the information you need anyway.

3. Focus on helping - even when you most need help

This is the cure-all to your nerves and guilt about connecting with people you haven't talked to in a long time. The trick is to prepare ahead of time with a quick list of ways you might be able to help the person you will be meeting with. Check out their website or facebook page. What do they like? Who do you know that they might like to meet?

When you do this pre-work, you'll be primed to be in "helping mode" and less focused on your own needs. And even if you can't think of anything to offer, remember that a genuine note of thanks afterwards is an excellent gift of gratitude.

Want to learn more? Sign up for my Authentic Networking teleseminar.

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Here's a quick way to try out your secret dreams, create some new ideas and sow the seeds of your next adventure - all without leaving your desk.

Today I used it to feed my "travel jones" during lunch: I went to Brazil.

Here's my Lunch Break Dream Launch process:

1. Choose the first interest that pops into your head

Start the process with any dream you have - world travel, music, woodworking. Think quickly and capture the first things that come to mind.

Then write down what your dream is - it's fine to be vague, high-level and even a little crazy at this point. You might want to go to every country in the world or play clarinet at Carnegie Hall or learn how to call square dances. The only requirement is to actually write the idea down.

Then, spend 10 minutes on Google searching for the main words in your dream - for example, "world travel", "clarinet", "square dancing".

2. Get more specific to get more creative

As you get results back, follow your instincts and click on any site that draws your attention. For example, if you like movies and travel, you might do a search and remember that you've always wanted to go to the Cannes Film Festival.

Then do a search on that more specific version of your dream. Look for the details you would need to make a good plan.

Maybe Cannes is too far off for now. But find out when it is. (It's in May and the weather is lovely - I checked).

Maybe you don't have the money to pay for a fancy hotel on the Cote d'Azur or to rent a yacht in the harbor. So search some travel sites to see if there are creative ways to get there - Can you volunteer? Can you offer to lead a tour group? Can you get a pass from a small film production company?

As you begin to dig for details, you'll start to broaden the list of ways you can experience your dreams.

3. When you get stuck, blow it up

If you get stuck or bored, take a different direction.

You could see what other film festivals are going on - there are several in the US. Find one near a city where you have a friend or relative (= free place to stay).

Or think about the "pieces" of your dream. When you think about "Film Festivals", what does that bring to mind?

Is part of it seeing interesting movies? Then find out what is showing at your local Art Theatre or University. Leave work on time one day this week and catch the 7pm show.

Is part of it sharing your perspective? Write a review of the movie.

Is part of it the thrill of interacting with other film buffs? Send a note to the film's director with your feedback.

4. Tangents can become your new path in life

Traveling to South America is on my list of dreams, so today I searched for cities in Brazil and Argentina. While looking for cheap ways to travel, I stumbled across a website called "couchsurfing.org" with a list of people who would let me crash at their houses for free. I searched not just in Brazil, but also in California (where I'm headed on a business trip soon). Then I went to Orbitz and researched flight schedules and costs.

With each new piece of information, I'm building on a plan that can someday soon get me to South America. And I know I'll be able to do it while managing my household budget and my other responsibilities.

See how it goes?

5. What's in it for you

Now, I may not take this particular trip to Brazil. And that's perfectly fine. Even if I never make it there, my Lunch Break Dream Launch has given me some powerful benefits:

I spent time on me. I got to do something just for fun and I broke up the monotony of a regular day.

I focused my brain on what matters to me. Even when I stopped doing the search, there was part of my mind that was still thinking and scheming and planning.

I motivated myself to keep going. Now that I've started planning, I am looking forward to my next 15 minute break where I can find out more and take the next steps.

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In the first excerpt from our interview, Pam explains how she started the blog and gives insights into how she has successfully balanced the practical parts of her life with her passion for helping budding entrepreneurs.

Check out what I learned at a No Doubt concert this weekend - how to know when you have outgrown your work.

Watch until the end for an invitation to a series of classes I'm offering (you can also get more information here).

Want to do something different, but can't figure out what it is? Or how to do more meaningful work without jeopardizing your lifestyle?

Join me for a special tele-class this Wednesday night, June 10th at 5pm ET: Don't wait to test-drive your dreams (How to start now without quitting your job).

It's free for my newsletter subscribers.

This tele-class is part of a series I'm offering to take you from "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up" to "I would never have been able to envision how rich my life is now."

Sign up now because there are a limited number of spots left. I'll email you more details and a link to the recording of our first tele-class: "How to find a job as fun as your life was as a kid."

Here's what you need to do:

1. Click here to sign up
2. Sign up for my newsletter (it's free, too)

You can get more details and check out the whole list of upcoming classes here.

On my first trip to Hong Kong, I learned that they can be great times to try out new interests - the first step towards developing your calling.

Tom met a woman once who came close, but when every date was compared to that top 10 ideal, how could any real-life relationship survive? (By the way, he's pushing 40 now and is still single.)

I think that Tom had it all backwards.

Tom was working too hard on having everything figured out up front, and not enough time getting out there and being open to the spark he would feel when he met someone who was a good fit for him. That feeling of attraction would be a much more accurate indicator of a good match than any 10 or 100 or 1000 item list Tom could come up with.

And his list kept Tom from starting relationships that could have taught him the true way long-term couples stay together: It's not because they are perfect matches, it's because they have committed to the relationship.

They've committed to something bigger than just their own "Top 10 lists" of needs.

I'm telling you this because I made my own "Tom list" - only I wasn't looking for the Perfect Girl, I was looking for the Perfect Job.

And I didn't have any more success with my list than Tom did with his.

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Even though I knew how self-defeating this "Tom's Top 10" approach was in relationships, I went through much of my career thinking that the perfect job was not only achievable, but that it was the only way to have a career that was both meaningful and enjoyable.

And I had figured out the perfect route to the perfect job:

All I needed was a perfect understanding of myself...

E-S-F J-Oh-My

ESFJ, "mid D, high I, low S, low C", StrengthsFinder "Individualization and Ideation Themes".

Do any of these sound familiar? They are "types" - the outputs of career tests. I have a thick binder at home that has the results of all of the tests I've taken over the years.

They are fun to do. I always come away feeling better about myself because they write the "type" descriptions in ways that emphasize the positive. Everyone ends up with a type description like the fortune cookie I've gotten a few times: "You are talented in many ways". Or the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes envelopes: "Congratulations, you are a winner!"

The nice thing about all of these tests was that they were easy. Not much work for me: I just wrote the check, took the test and waited for the debriefing afterwards.

But as I kept asking "What do I do with these results?", I started to realize something important - these tests aren't really designed to help you identify your ideal work - they are a short-cut to help career counselors get a quick read on you. And, they provide a standardized way for them to give advice "in categories".

This isn't a bad thing, but it started to undermine the credibility of this "perfect job" idea that I had.

And, as I learned more about myself, I realized that I was just adding more and more requirements to my list.

Like Tom with his idea of the perfect girl, I was bordering on the ridiculous because no company or job was going to be able to provide this complex mix of needs.

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Photo courtesy woodleywonderworks

Because I was traveling so far, I had to stay over the weekend. So as a way to keep in touch with my daughters, I came up with a game.

They each gave me a list of 5 things that they wanted a photo of. This provided "focus" for my sightseeing time and was a fun way to spice up my emails.

So, I photographed a chicken, a lot of dogs and even an elephant (I had to cheat on this one - it was on a bag of Indian rice at a grocery store). The only one I couldn't get was a squirrel - apparently there aren't many of them in Hong Kong.

But because I was so aware of everything around me, I saw some other things, too. Like the flower vendors and the way they wrapped their products. And the way people talked to each other on the Star Ferry going to the main island.

And it reminded me of times when I had "a-ha" moments in my career. Times where something just clicked and I realized what I needed to do next - and then saw opportunities all over the place.

One time when I was still in my original science career (see bio), I realized that I really wanted to work more with people, but couldn't see how to make it happen.

Then one day in a conversation with a friend, I realized that all the things I liked to do were really just what sales people do. When I realized that, I immediately thought of the perfect place for me to go - and I was unstuck and on my way.

In Hong Kong, one of the funnest photos I got was of a Chinese "fortune cat" - with one arm raised and beckoning, it is a staple in shops and is believed to bring in money. I had never seen one, so I took a video of one of them moving its arm back and forth at me.

This was my favorite because of an inside joke I share with my daughters about me and cats (they say I'm scared of them, I say I just don't like them and their claws).

But I wouldn't have noticed that cat if I wasn't so aware of all the new things I was experiencing, and if I weren't looking for the photo scavenger hunt items to share with my daughters. I had my girls on my mind everywhere I went on that trip.

What do you notice? And what do you miss?

When you are frustrated, or stuck, you only notice the things you always notice. When you are clear on what you are after, you can see lots of opportunity around every corner.

You are curious, you are open.

So: go somewhere new, go with a purpose, mix it up.

Photo: talicat2000