Every mother who does the best she can do is a hero!

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Does gasping for breath or holding your breath count? I think it should -- especially for mothers of challenging children!!!

What do you think? Send your comments to me.

Do Mother's Day wishes sent via text messaging considered acceptable by today's mothers?

Let us know what you think? Send comments to Elizabeth.

I can only please one person per day.

Today is not your day.

Tomorrow is not looking good either.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. -- Erma Bombeck

Not traditionally a drinking holiday, but why the hell not!!

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Bill Cosby

"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse." -Lily Tomlin-

... is that someday is right now.

Photo by Mary Pohlmann

We know you can relate to this month's story on A Wild Ride titled Am I giving enough? by Robin Dowdy.

Robin is a parent, educator, business owner and coach and the owner of Shine Through Coaching in Seattle. You can reach her at: 425.941.0819 or robin.dowdy@gmail.com.

All across America, parents are receiving the school support they need through their child's IEP (Individualized Education Plan), or so we can only hope. I personally have never experienced an IEP but a large number of my parent friends have. The reviews are mixed. Some find them helpful. Most find them trying and counter-productive.

What is your experience?

If you are looking for information on IEP, the web offers some excellent resources including:

Terri Mauro's About.com Special Needs Children. Read her article titled Parental Input --Have Your Say.

Joan Celebi's Special Needs Parent Blog. On her site Joan lists her six favorite IEP resources.

Another resource is school psychologist's Erin King's 7 Things Parents Should Know Prior to Going to an IEP Meeting.

My Brother. My Enemy. My Friend.
One Sibling's Story

"Yeah, I'm upset." I hear my older son say. I peek into his room. He's talking on the phone, pacing the floor, fingering a business card. "You said to call you when I was really fed up. Well, I'm really fed up. Why does he get all the attention? Why does my Mom spend all her time with him? She's too tired to do anything with me. She can't even think long enough to help with my math homework."

Sean's voice becomes more agitated, more urgent. "Then tonight he throws a fit because I beat him at basketball. He yells at me. He screams. I don't want to play with him anymore. But Mom says I have to understand him. I don't want to understand him. I want him to act NORMAL."

I don't need to see the card he's holding to know that Sean called his brother's therapist, Ben, who told him after one of our family sessions, "Call anytime you need to talk. This isn't just about your brother."

But in reality, it is all about his brother Joe needs constant attention. His anxieties derail every family outing. Sean is usually the perfect child, the one with no issues. He plays well with others, never misses school. He possesses maturity beyond his years. Skilled at dodging Joe's verbal bullets, Sean adeptly negotiates disagreements among his peers. His compassion for others comes through in his social activities.

"He would not be who he is without the experience of being Joe's brother," my friend Nan tells me, when I wonder about the impact of Joe's condition on Sean. "He's one of the most tolerant teenagers I've ever met," she goes on to say.

My thoughts come back to Sean's phone call to the therapist who is presumably giving him some sound advice for dealing with his brother. "Yeah, I understand," Sean says with resignation in his voice. "It's just that sometimes I think my whole family is close to breaking. And there's another problem. I get embarrassed when my friends are over and Joe acts up. He swears at me. He hits and kicks me. It's ugly and embarrassing and if I hit him back, I'm the one who gets in trouble because 'I'm older and should know better.' So here's the bottom line Ben. I am tired of being abused by my brother, tired of being embarrassed, and I'm jealous of the time my parents spend with him." There's a long pause and then, "Yeah, I'll think about what you said. Okay, I promise to call you again tomorrow."

After Sean hangs up, I step into his room. In that moment I decide to let Sean know I heard his conversation with Ben. "Was he helpful?" A little startled he replies, "Kinda. Said I should walk away when Joe starts hitting me or swearing at me. Said I could help him help Joe by writing down what triggers Joe's anger. I guess that will help." Sean begins to make his bed. I stop his hands as he pulls the bedcovers forward. I don't know what to say to make it better. I hug him, tell him how much I love him, tell him how much I appreciate how helpful and positive he is, knowing full well that these are probably the wrong things to say and that I am putting even more pressure on him. I can only hope that my friend Nan is right. Sean will grow into a caring, compassionate young man - thanks to his brother.

Congratulations to our Second Birthday Contest Winner Cheryl H from Brier, WA. Cheryl is the lucky winner of the Aveda Destination Comfort Gift Set.

Buy a natural oil with a sensual smell either relaxing or stimulating (whichever works best for you). When you are ready for your bath, pour a glass of your favorite drink.

Turn on some relaxing, sensual or natural music such as the sound of rain, frogs, gentle African drumming.

Now, if you have a partner or friend who will be able to take the time, ask for a gentle and slow back scrub. Ask your partner to give full attention, smile and energy for "a while" to ....... just...... YOU.

In advance ask what you can do to return the favor, but also ask to reciprocate at another time so that you totally in the moment. This time, when it is all about YOU, will provide you with an invaluable source of fortitude and strength for carrying on with your day.

Want to know how to recharge your partnership? Try some of these ideas from Mary Scribner.

· Hire a sitter and go on weekly dates. Take this time to have fun together and nurture your time as a couple – don’t discuss your children at all!

· Slip love notes under your spouse’s pillow, in his/her car, or in the mail. Use words of endearment. Give praise. Affirm your love for each other frequently.

· Give loving hugs. Massages. Don’t forget, giving chocolate and flowers can go a long way and NOT just on Valentines Day. Be spontaneous.

· Marital counseling. If you are in constant conflict and unable to work together or find that parenting is driving a wedge between you, then seek professional help. Your child needs a strong parental team. You need to support each other.

· Renegotiate your relationship as two imperfect people who also love each other and don’t forget to use humor as often as possible!!!!

Let’s take a moment and imagine what it would be like if you and your spouse felt less stressed and gave each other words of encouragement, gratitude, and acknowledgement on a daily basis. Though maybe not easy at first, it’s worth a shot. Who knows, it could just change your life. Try one of these tips and see what occurs as you dance the steps of intimacy:

* Use open verbal communication. Define your thinking to one another. Don’t take for granted that your spouse/partner knows what you think or how you feel. Ask.Communicate openly.

* Use “I” messages when expressing yourself. “I feel….” Instead of “You made me feel….” Can go a long way toward forwarding the conversation.

*If you are having trouble communicating, you may want to use a “talking stick.” This is a tradition borrowed from the Native American culture, which provides a way to make sure you both have a chance to speak your views without interruption. Take any object (rock, koosh ball, etc) that you like to hold. Whoever is holding the object has the floor and speaks her current steam of thoughts. When she is finished speaking, she gives the talking stick to her partner who now has the right to talk without interruption. The listener does not speak while the other person is holding the object.

What other ways help you to reconnect with your partner? Send us your ideas. We would love to share them with our readers.