Nothing riles a leftist more than the right to keep and bear arms. The slapstick performance of Eric “My People” Holder and his Justice Department in the Fast and Furious scandal amply testifies to this fact. The gun-running fiasco is only the latest in a succession of hysterical initiatives on the part of the Democrats aimed at neutralizing the Second Amendment to the Constitution.

Why such hostility from the socialist wing of the polity? I can think of several reasons:

Pretext for ignoring the causes of crime. The familiar shrieking and wailing that “guns cause crime” helps to submerge any serious discussion of the issue. In this regard, anti-gun activism serves the same purpose as blaming crime on poverty. In both cases, correlation (gun present at crime; criminal is poor) is mistaken for cause. The real culprits, such as society’s loss of moral compass, or the pernicious effects of the victim/entitlement culture, can be conveniently ignored. This makes it easier for lawmakers to merrily concoct their next wallet-emptying Liberal social program, educators to promote the “self-esteem” of their pupils, and judges to hamstring normal law enforcement, without worrying about the effects of their actions.

Fear and loathing of rural America. The typical urban or suburban leftist has an innate fear of what he sees as white rural America; i.e., any place outside of the 50 or so largest metropolitan areas. His body tenses with apprehension as he contemplates the imminent invasion of the coastal cities by hordes of unwashed hillbillies led by George Bush on horseback. Such dangerous folk, he believes, must not be allowed to possess guns, or, at the very least, nothing more than grandpa’s old double-barrel shotgun.

Man as an independent being. Nothing screams independence and self-sufficiency as does the possession and mastery of firearms. A citizen who arms himself drastically curtails his dependence on the government, and in one of its most crucial aspects, defense of person and property. This concept is anathema to anyone saturated with socialist ideology.

Consider it from the perspective of pop culture. Review with a leftist friend the film icons of the last half century, and ask him to rank them from favorite to least favorite. I am willing to wager that near the bottom of the list would be John Wayne—the independent, gun-toting American par excellence.

Want to enervate your friend? Extol the virtues of the Old West. When a leftist watches a Western, he craves the moment when the town becomes fully “civilized”; that is, when the government is indisputably in charge of all aspects of life, and men like John Wayne, if they haven’t been run out of town, have become shopkeepers and barbers. The sheriff has been transformed into the district attorney. Cowboys have disappeared. No guns to be seen in the street. The ACLU and the NAACP have opened branch offices. The brothel has been closed, renovated, and reopened as a Whole Foods supermarket.

Manipulation of the Bill of Rights. For generations, the Left has used the Bill of Rights to boost the power of government. This has been achieved via cynical manipulation of the amendments originally designed to minimize intervention of the state in the life of the citizenry. Instead of negative commands prohibiting government action (“Congress shall make no law…”), we have a laundry list of positive rights that—you guessed it—need to be enforced by the government. One example is the metamorphosis of equal protection of the law into affirmative action.

By using this stratagem, the Left has been able to brag about its love of the Bill of Rights. At the same time, however, leftists are perplexed and discomfited by at least two amendments that leave no room for such shenanigans. The first of these is the Tenth: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”

Back in my university days (late 1970s), I took a course in constitutional law. The professor was one of the new campus-radical-turned-faculty-member types then infiltrating academia. The First Amendment was the holy of holies in his crusade to strip the government of power in every case where it was essential, while expanding its authority in every case where it was inappropriate. Never once in the entire course was the Tenth Amendment even mentioned, let alone analyzed. For this professor, it simply did not exist.

Not so the Second Amendment, the right to keep and bear arms. This could not be ignored. For one thing, it is, after all, the second amendment. While constantly referring to and reading the First, one can hardly avoid the Second. But more importantly, there is nothing nebulous about it. The Amendment declares that “a well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

This mini-manifesto provides for a fundamental freedom, and it includes explanatory language that drives home the fact that in an enlightened and well-oiled republic, the citizenry must be armed.

Even the most left-wing of our Supreme Courts has been forced to admit the truth of this interpretation. The Founding Fathers were unequivocal in their other writings and pronouncements on the subject. Had there been the slightest opening for a challenge, you can bet your income-tax refund that private legal ownership of everything except grandpa’s shotgun would have been eliminated years ago.

This professor of mine saw the amendment as an embarrassing problem. For him, it was an anomaly, a thorn in the side of progress, a seemingly intractable obstacle for the field of constitutional law as he conceived it.

Leftists recognize, just as we do, that the Second Amendment is probably the last of the Constitutional liberties to survive in its original conceptual framework. Moreover, everyone knows that the armed citizenry, simply by lurking in the background, has prevented an even more extreme seizure of power by the Obama regime.

Thus the speculation among gun owners about future confiscation of firearms by the government. Will it be a piecemeal approach, with court rulings and legislation and international treaties, along with an occasional Fast-and-Furious type subterfuge, or will it be a sudden and brutal act?

The answer will have grave ramifications for the survival of what remains of the American republic.

************

This guy knew what he was doing:

What remains of genteel urban life in America is currently being sabotaged by gangs of feral “ghetto youth” on the rampage. This in itself is not spectacular news; similar outbreaks appear with some regularity throughout the world. The difference is in the complicity of certain government agencies and the establishment press.

The more widespread the violence, the more intense the propaganda. News of most incidents is suppressed on a national level; whatever slips through the filter is sanitized. Blatant anti-white pogroms are described in the most innocuous terms, usually as the misadventures of wayward little children.

Equally egregious is the incessant campaign to portray the black population as stable, intelligent, successful folk who are “just like you and me.” Television commercials have become a stage for this ideological circus, a form of brainwashing that makes Goebbels look like an amateur. The same goes for cinema. Red Tails is only the latest in a long line of hallucinatory films that foist upon us the image of the Magic Negro.

This sort of fantasy, this Diversity on steroids, has spun completely out of control. The absurdity of it all has prompted me to speculate as to the continuation and enhancement of the Magic Negro (and Magic Muslim) theme. Here’s what we can expect:

—It turns out that General Eisenhower was a coward, even to the point of being afraid of the dark. He cries himself to sleep every night thinking of the terrible things happening to the troops. Luckily, his adjunct, an African-American major who speaks German, French, and twelve other languages, provides the emotional support and much of the brainpower to keep Ike functioning. As a result, America wins World War II.

Adam Sandler plays Eisenhower; Will Smith is the adjunct.

—Shortly before the Titanic strikes the iceberg, an African-American janitor, who just happens to be mopping the bridge, analyzes the data he gathers from his observation of the situation. He uses his mathematically-oriented mind to precisely calculate the size of the iceberg, its position, and the moment of impact. He pleads with the officers but they refuse to heed his warnings, uttering numerous racial epithets in the process. The janitor’s refusal to concede lands him in the brig, where, being chained to the wall, he perishes in the ensuing catastrophe.

Funded with grants from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Ford Foundation.

—So you think Napolean was from Corsica? Think again. We now learn, thanks to a BBC special production, that he was a Muslim from the Barbary Coast. Following the terrible oppression of his people by Thomas Jefferson, Napolean Bonaparte (orginally Napostani Bin-Partoon) is exiled from his native land, and begins a lifelong quest for freedom and justice. Introducing the concepts of fairness and equality to the backward lands of Europe is a byproduct of this odyssey.

—A shrewd Southern businessman forms a football team composed entirely of inmates from the Mississippi state penitentiary. Ninety percent of the team are illiterate redneck hillbillies, alongside a handful of brownish-looking members of obscure minority groups. The coach motivates the men to give their utmost, but the team lacks one key element: No one has the brains or the talent to take on the responsibilities of the quarterback position.

Enter an African-American who just arrived at the prison. (An ideal role for a young Sidney Poitier; I can’t think of a contemporary replacement.) He is a brain surgeon from Biloxi, wrongly accused and convicted of raping a white woman. Voila—problem solved. The Magic Negro becomes the team’s quarterback, and they go on to win the Super Bowl.

—A future Earth is beset by wars and pestilence, to the point where the human race is threatened with extinction. As mankind teeters on the brink, a spaceship lands just outside of Los Angeles. Out steps Morgan Freeman. We find out that he is the progeny of an ancient tribe of Africans that launched a space probe thousands of years ago. These early astronauts founded a colony on a Class M planet in the Alpha Centauri stellar system. Now, millennia later, their descendants pick up radio distress signals from Earth, and send Morgan Freeman to save us. He single-handedly reestablishes order, and inaugurates a utopian society based on the model of the African colony whence he came.

Oh, I almost forgot. He falls in love with Earth’s leading astro-physicist, played by Sandra Bullock. They live happily ever after, dividing their time (and illustrious careers) between the two planets.

********

And finally, for the pièce de résistance, we’ll learn that Beethoven was African:

[Note: Below is the eighteenth installment of the Orwellian Snapshots series. For other episodes, scroll down or click the "Orwellian Snapshots" link in the sidebar. Enjoy ...]

January 26, 2012

Few would deny that key aspects of George Orwell’s 1984 have become reality in the US, Britain, France, Austria, Canada, and other countries of the former West that have taken the suicidal plunge into the abyss of Never-Ending Equality.

Orwell’s dystopian masterpiece presents a vision of society after the tentacles of Socialism have locked it into a death grip with no hope of escape. A particularly chilling aspect of his vision were the conversations between the book’s protagonist, Winston Smith, and the Party apparatchik O’Brien. These discussions show the corruption and degradation of human relations when decency, honor, tradition, and morality have been cast aside. This is the hallmark of socialist theory and practise.

As a stimulant for his dark musing, Orwell had before him the great totalitarian movements of the early to mid twentieth century. Our own contemporary model for such speculation is the collapse of rational thought into the sewer of Multiculturalism and Diversity—the end of culture as we know it.

Lately I have been pondering a conversation between Winston Smith and O’Brien, were it to take place in our own near-future, say, in the year 2020. Below is a rendition of an encounter between the two men, at the moment when Winston is caught red-handed engaging in a thoughtcrime. They are seated in an interrogation chamber located in the bowels of Homeland Security headquarters in Washington, DC.

Winston is an inspector for the Transportation Safety Administration. He travels to the many TSA checkpoints located at the entrances to cities and towns. His job is to ensure that in the rough-and-tumble business of security checks, no member of an oppressed group suffers from damaged self-esteem.

O’BRIEN

Well, well, if it isn’t Winston Smith, my very dear friend and transformation-comrade. Never did I think that we would meet under these circumstances.

WINSTON

There’s been a mistake.

O’BRIEN

You can say that again, Winston! A very big mistake, indeed.

WINSTON

What exactly did I say that is so objectionable?

O’BRIEN

Oh that’s funny, Winston, very funny. We have everything on audio and visual, straight from the satellite. Did you not say, ‘oh no, it’s them’?

WINSTON

Umm …

O’BRIEN

Let me refresh your rusty memory. A car pulled up to the inspection station. You were standing just behind the inspector. Her name is Yolanda Abu-Muhammed. The automobile contained three passengers, all of them African-American. You hunched forward to see them clearly, and then muttered the words ‘oh no, it’s them’.

WINSTON

[Squirms in his seat] Well, you see … I was worried that Ms. Abu-Muhammed would demonstrate hostility to the passengers because of her own ethnic background. I’ve seen it before, sir, and it’s not pretty.

O’BRIEN

[looking grim] So, my transformation-comrade, you have now confessed to a second thoughtcrime, and a gross one at that. Blatant stereotyping, and directed at an ethnic group that has an oppression index of 17.3 on the Conyers scale. How would you like to repeat what you just said at public confession?

WINSTON

Oh no … no, please …

O’BRIEN

Don’t worry, we won’t do that. I was simply making a point.

WINSTON

I was only trying to protect the African-American passengers. I mean, they have an oppression index of over 19. I can see now that I should have handled the situation differently, so as not to risk damaging the self-esteem of Ms. Abu-Muhammed. I will report immediately for the 200-hour sensitivity training.

O’BRIEN

That won’t be sufficient, Winston.

WINSTON

What do you mean?

O’BRIEN

Let’s watch a little movie.

He presses several keys on the keyboard. A video begins to play on a large screen hanging on the wall. It shows Winston at the inspection station, uttering the fateful words. It is clear that he demonstrates disgust when saying ‘oh no, it’s them’. O’Brien plays the sequence several times, and then for the last round, zooms in on Winston’s lips.

O’BRIEN

Do you still claim that you were … ahem … protecting the poor Ms. Abu-Mohammed?

Winston appears to be dumbfounded.

O’BRIEN

Well? Tell me, was there nothing else going on here? Do you take me for a fool, tranformation-comrade?

WINSTON

I’m sorry … I confess … Yes, there is something else. I recognized those men. The night before, while I was returning to my hotel on foot, they pushed me into an alley, stole my wallet, and insulted my ethnicity.

O’BRIEN

What ethnicity is that, Winston?

WINSTON

Umm … the fact that I am descended from Europeans. They yelled, ‘we’re gonna teach whitey a lesson’.

O’BRIEN

You say that with disdain, Winston. Did you forget that intent to disparage a racial or ethnic group with a Conyers index of over 15 is a hate crime? You’re racking up points today, my friend. But let’s get back to the main issue. You have no ethnicity. Do you not recall Verse 26 of the morning mantra, which says, ‘Europeans are thieves, exploiters, and imperialists, and must pay for their sins’?

WINSTON

I realize that, but …

O’BRIEN

What better opportunity for repentance than the incident of which we are speaking. Boosting the feeling of power for oppressed individuals while transferring some of that ill-gotten wealth. It’s a win-win for you. Did you call the police?

WINSTON

Of course not. If they suspect that I harbor any hostility toward the attackers, I would be jailed for hate-crime 328.

O’BRIEN

Did you seek medical assistance?

WINSTON

Yes, I went to Obamacare Clinic 78-23. They said I was only bruised, nothing broken. I reported the whole thing as a fall down the stairs.

O’BRIEN

Ahh, your first intelligent move of the day.

WINSTON

Well, what are you going to do with me?

O’BRIEN

Nothing, at the moment. I like you, Winston. You’re my best inspector, and you have some good career advancement in your future. Hmm … I know what we’ll do. We’ll summon those three poor souls that you disparaged. You’ll make a formal apology, and then give them an hour or so to have their way with you. That should even the score. But Winston …

WINSTON

Yes?

O’BRIEN

Be careful. Be very careful. I’m going out on a limb here. It’s only because I like you. Can you assure me that you will purge these terrible thoughts from your mind?

WINSTON

Oh yes, yes. Thank you, sir. Thank you!

O’BRIEN

One last thing. I hope it’s only a rumor, but one of my junior inspectors says that he saw you consorting with a woman. That’s bad enough, but she was said to be of European descent …

***********

Here is a photo of Winston at work:

January 19, 2012

This is the thirtieth installment in a continuing series. Here is what life will be like in the year 2020 if our civilization continues to go AWOL:

• First bisexual president inaugurated; her transgendered partner to be known as the First Human
• Fighter jets removed from USS Nimitz to make room for state-of-the-art maternity ward and nursery
• In exchange for student loan forgiveness, thousands of young women join the Peace Corps “Make an African Man Happy” program
• Chicken and cattle-rights activists unite in campaign to outlaw steak and eggs
• Man arrested in California for murdering rare protected species of cockroach
• New genetically modified monkey has the torso of a baboon, the limbs of a chimpanzee, and the head of Anderson Cooper
• Amazing revelation from the Washington Post: Bill Clinton’s great-grandfather was a chieftain of the Luo, the same tribe as Barack Obama, Sr.
• British parliament declares Shakespeare racist and sexist; references removed from all UK school curricula
• TSA sets up checkpoints at every bank, mall, post office, theater, and restaurant
• Supreme Court: Nuclear device confiscated from Iranian passenger at Kennedy Airport must be returned to owner because of unconstitutional religious profiling
• Pentagon: Memorial Day will now honor fallen combatants “from all sides” of the nation’s wars and man-caused disasters
• NAACP: Whites as high percentage of casualties proves the military is a Jim Crow institution
• Federal Court of Appeals voids entire corpus of Idaho state law due to lack of minority representation in legislature
• IRS prosecutes Santa Claus for gifting property with intent to evade taxation
• Asteroid to strike the East coast in two weeks; analysts expect undocumented Americans and child-abuse victims to be hardest hit

Would you care to add your own headlines?

[Note: To see earlier installments of “Headlines from the Year 2020," scroll down or click the All Fiction link on the sidebar (located under Orwellian Snapshots).]

Even if control of both Congress and the White House pass to the Republican Party in January 2013—and this outcome is far from certain—it might not be time to pop open the champagne. A number of existential issues face the country, challenges that would be daunting if the nation were united and sober, let alone in its current fractured and dumbed-down condition.

An orderly transfer of power from the Obama regime to its successor is by no means assured. Several long weeks separate the election from the inauguration—plenty of time for organized mayhem. And mayhem it will be. The entire victimary establishment, shrieking their jeremiads about evil racist Americans who just rejected the messiah-of-color, rises up as one. Riots break out in the major cities, as the Negro rage carefully nurtured by Holder and his minions explodes in anti-white violence that makes the 1960s look like a picnic.

Initially, state and local authorities utilize the usual tactics: tear gas and other non-lethal methods; calling on all sides for calm; assurances of greater attention to the “systemic” and “structural” causes of poverty; promises of money.

To no avail. As the riots spread, the Occupy movement jumps into the melee, as do the civil-service unions, the Greens, La Raza; in short, the full panoply of Leftist subversion. The old-line media stokes the fire, blaming capitalism, racism, Bush, Republican heartlessness, etc.

Inevitably, some person targeted in the riots takes matters into his own hands and shoots several of the perpetrators. The act becomes a cause célèbre, as the nation polarizes into pro and con camps. Pressure from the federal government for punishment is overwhelming. Lame duck B. Hussein calls a press conference in which he decries violence on the part of “gun nuts” and “vigilantes,” peppering his speech with references to the days of lynching. He threatens to move troops into the offending city unless justice is dispensed. The local authorities back down, and the riots worsen.

This is the scene as Mitt Romney takes the oath of office.

To make matters worse:

• The European Union is in the advanced stages of collapse. Blacks and Muslims seize the opportunity to protest “racism” and “fascism.” Huge swaths of London, Manchester, Marseilles, and Rotterdam go up in flames.
• Islamic regimes consolidate power across the Middle East. The old structure of workable despotisms put in place by Britain and France after the fall of the Ottoman Empire in 1917 finally becomes extinct.
• The engines of economic growth, both human and material, are leaving the United States at an alarming rate. Seemingly overnight, Singapore replaces New York and London as the world’s financial capital.
• China, Russia, India, and Brazil announce a new, gold-backed basket of currencies that henceforth replace the dollar as the world’s reserve currency
• State and municipal bankruptcies in the U.S. become so commonplace that they are no longer considered front-page news
• Money for the welfare state dries up. The victimary coalition threatens repercussions even worse than the ongoing riots.
• High levels of unemployment and inflation, along with shortages of raw materials, plague the country

We now arrive at the big question: Does Romney, together with his Congressional allies, put the house in order? In other words, does he roll back the debt, dismantle the onerous regulatory regime, open up domestic sources of energy, end affirmative action and Diversity, close the immigration spigot, and crush the hooligans that have seized de facto control of most urban areas?

Highly unlikely. Establishment Republicans in the Romney mold, the so-called RINOs, have been pretending for decades that the old days of bipartisanship and moderation still have traction. In 1990, this approach was questionable. In 2000, pathetic. In early 2013, not even an option. The modern ultra-democratic liberal welfare state, based on the totalitarian drive to level society, must either be taken to its logical conclusion or crushed. Either slavery or liberty will reign, and everyone knows it.

The most likely outcome is that Romney & Co. will equivocate in the face of the conflagration, clutching the old rule book until it is shredded in their hands. The worst excesses of Multiculturalism, Global Warming, and the welfare state will be curtailed, but without challenging the core principles. Business conditions will improve slightly through superficial relief, such as tax cuts. The underlying causes of human and capital flight, however, will be ignored. Enforcement of immigration law will be beefed up, but without questioning the wisdom of continued immigration. The military will continue to be homosexualized and feminized, but with further outrages held in check. Growth of government will be halted but not reversed.

In short, business as usual. Implementation of real solutions is almost unthinkable in the political constellation of the contemporary West. The RINO approach can be expected to continue until events reach their natural cataclysmic terminus. At that point, someone’s hand will be forced, and decisive action will occur. This someone may or may not be positioned within the established leadership.

Strange as it may seem, only then is there room for cautious optimism. For only a true crisis can stimulate the dismantling of the socialist edifice. It may indeed happen, and sooner than we think. Removing the Manchurian Candidate from the White House is but a prelude to the real struggle, one that will determine our fate for generations to come.

***********

Anathema to every notion of honor, achievement, productivity, and culture:

[Note: Below is the thirty-third episode of the TV series Michelle Knows Best. For background information, read this post. For other episodes, scroll down or click the "Michelle Knows Best" link in the sidebar. Enjoy...]

January 5, 2012

The First Couple are seated on the beach adjoining the “winter White House” in Hawaii. It is early evening, just after Christmas. The sky displays the full palette of colors one would expect from a beautiful Hawaiian sunset. Waves crash gently onto the sand. The air, still warm, has only just begun to cool. The only other people in the area are security personnel, and they are maintaining their distance.

MICHELLE

Ughh, I hate sitting in sand. You need to take a shower every five minutes. Weird insects all over the place. And that sun, boiling down on us. I can’t understand why white people come here in droves.

Barack, with a dreamlike expression, is staring into the surf.

MICHELLE

Barry, are you listening to me?

BARACK

[Jerks his head as if to shake off the reverie] Sorry, dear. I was just reminiscing about my childhood in Hawaii. Those were such wonderful days.

MICHELLE

Wonderful days? What, all three months that you lived here? [laughter from studio audience]

BARACK

[Sighs, returns his gaze to the surf] It’s a mixture of all the races. I feel right at home.

MICHELLE

I’m so glad that stupid holiday is over. If I hear I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas one more time, I’ll scream bloody murder. At least New Year’s Eve is coming up. Now that’s a holiday I can believe in. By the way, did my new necklace from Gucci arrive yet?

BARACK

No, dear, not as far as I know. But something even better will be here, any minute now.

MICHELLE

What do you mean? Right here, in this nauseating sandbox?

BARACK

Yup. Someone important is about to visit us, and he comes bearing gifts.

The sound of a helicopter, faint at first, begins to overtake the noise of the surf. A huge chopper descends from the sky, and lands at the edge of the beach, about a hundred yards away. The hatch opens, a staircase is thrust groundward, and numerous personnel emerge. A red carpet is rolled out onto the sand. Marines line the passage. Out of the aircraft steps Kim Jong-un, the new ruler of North Korea. He waves in all directions, as if a crowd awaits him. Applause from studio audience.

MICHELLE

I don’t believe it—Barry, you little rascal!

BARACK

[gives his wife a kiss on the cheek] Happy Holidays, dear.

Kim descends the staircase. He is dressed in full military regalia, replete with ribbons and medals. Trailed by several grim-looking men in suits and sunglasses, he approaches the presidential beach blanket. Barack stands up to greet him. They shake hands.

KIM

It is great pleasure to meet Mr. Hope-and-Change man in flesh.

BARACK

The pleasure is all mine, Kim. Thank you for keeping this visit low-key, and for coming on such short notice. How did you like the ride in our nuclear submarine?

KIM

Yes, very good. Sailors give great welcome. One already pregnant, so I no need to worry about you-know-what. Also, nuke furnace very interesting. I learn much to bring back to motherland.

BARACK

Excellent. We Americans are very generous, and love to share with our friends. Now I would like to present to you the First Lady, Michelle Obama. Michelle, I think you know who this is.

Michelle inspects the head of state with a scornful eye. Chuckle from studio audience.

BARACK

Would you care to join us on our blanket?

Kim snaps his fingers. One of his men opens a thick briefcase, which he rapidly transforms into a folding chair. Kim Jong-un takes a seat.

KIM

I promise gifts. Kim always have good delivery.

He snaps his fingers again. Another man hands his boss a small black box. Kim opens it, and much to his surprise, it contains a crack pipe. He closes the box, and angrily barks orders in Korean. The largest of the men draws a pistol from under his jacket, holds it to the temple of the man who made the mistake, and pulls the trigger. Michelle shrieks. The Marines and some Secret Service personnel run over.

BARACK

It’s okay, guys. Just a little misunderstanding. If you could take the body away, that would be great.

The body is removed.

KIM

Very sorry. We try again.

Another of his men hands him a tiny black box. He opens it to reveal a plastic card. He hands it to Michelle. She views the object with great suspicion.

MICHELLE

What is this … Foot Locker?

KIM

Yes. Ten thousand dollar gift card. [Applause from studio audience] Enough for fifty pair of Air Jordans. You sell them for twenty thousand dollar; double your money. Nice?

Michelle stares at the card, until Barack loudly clears his throat.

MICHELLE

Yes, yes, of course Kim, it’s great. I love it, thank you so much.

KIM

If shoes sold out, send me email. I send you linky to ebay man in Pyongyang, he sell you sneakers, only three hundred dollar.

BARACK

Thank you, Kim. Now let’s get down to business. As you know, we are entering a great new era of peace and prosperity. America is not quite as progressive as your country, but don’t worry, we will soon be rid of the evil corporations. We will no longer be a cruel, racist country. And there are many things we can offer you.

KIM

Yes, I know. Leaders in China explain me how it works. We buy Treasuries, you take money and pay for cheap goods from us. No, no, no. We no like it. What you got to sell us?

BARACK

Umm … uhh …

MICHELLE

I’ll take this one, Barry. Listen, Kimbo, we don’t ‘sell’ anything. We share technology, we give you foreign aid, we invite you to big parties at the White House, and we tour you around. As soon as you get some democracy and human rights going, we let North Koreans immigrate to the U.S. Soon you’ll get rich making cars and shipping them to us.

KIM

No, no, no, you got no more money.

MICHELLE

Just a minute, Charlie Chan …

BARACK

Hang on, dear. What she’s trying to say, Kim, is that we need to formulate bilateral agreements between our two nations. We’re on the same side, after all. I mean, both of us want to end capitalism and spread equality and fairness throughout the world. Do you agree with me on that point?

KIM

Oh, yes. Capitalism bad. White imperialist lackey bourgeois running dogs.

BARACK

Exactly! So we’ll be cooperating to attain our mutual goals. It’s as simple as that.

MICHELLE

Just don’t forget the nuclear submarine you saw. That’s American naval power, bud. You remember what happened to Khaddafi, right?

BARACK

Good point, dear. Khaddafi was standing in the way of progress. And we won’t let anyone do that. It wouldn’t be fair to the masses.

KIM

But Khaddafi have no navy, no air force. You try fight Chinese navy. Maybe you scare them with pregnant sailors … ha ha ha ha … They run back to China … ha ha ha ha …

MICHELLE

[tosses the gift card at Kim] You can keep your damn gift card. Foot Locker—give me a break. I’m getting a fifty thousand dollar Gucci necklace as a present from the king of Saudi Arabia. Let’s see you top that, laundry man.

KIM

Laundry man just buy whole Gucci company yesterday.

Applause from audience. Theme song and credits.

ANNOUNCER: Tune in next week for another zany adventure on Michelle Knows Best.

Fade out; cut to commercial for diamond-studded sneakers.

Coming soon, to a country near you:

December 17, 2011

I am pleased to announce that the second edition of my novel Workshop of the Second Self is now on sale. To find out more, and to read the first chapter on line, go here. Review copies are available upon request. The new edition contains stylistic changes only; the plot remains exactly as before.

AWOL Civilization is taking its Christmas vacation. The next post will appear on Thursday, January 5th. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy 2012.

The race is on to see who will “own” the U.S. military. Our habitual image of a bastion of patriotism and good old American values may have to be modified to fit reality. Rest assured that there are clever people working diligently to ensure that this new reality arrives with all possible speed.

The struggle for control of the armed forces is of paramount importance whenever a rogue regime comes to power or the old order is crumbling. This can be seen time and again throughout history. It was as crucial during the fall of Rome or during the French Revolution as it is when the ranking world power appoints a brown-noser of Muslims as its chief of general staff, and a hater of the majority population as its head of “homeland security.”

Causing men to fear the proverbial dropped soap in the shower; assigning young females to submarines as the “sexual harassment” apparatus descends upon the men; and conveying loud and clear that coddling the enemies of the nation takes precedence over the lives of GIs are not the only ways to demoralize an army. It is also possible to ship the troops off to savage lands to be sitting ducks, their hands tied by ridiculous rules of engagement. Their lives are expendable, and for what? To make the world safe for Islam?

The fiasco in Libya demonstrates that Herr Obama now feels free to use the military at any time and place without worrying about niceties such as constitutional powers. I shudder to think what will come next. Will it be dismantling Israel in order to protect the poor Palestinians? Or shielding Muslims and blacks in Britain against euroskeptics and other “right-wing extremists”? Or perhaps something in our own back yard?

To accomplish such humanitarian missions, as befits a progressive military, a purge is necessary to rid the system of elements that are capable of winning real wars. Just as new populations are imported from the Third World to replace our troublesome middle-class white folk, every inappropriate sub-group of post-modern America is being lined up for recruitment into the armed forces.

The current popular image of our fighting men, formed mostly through film, is the relentless warrior. Much of the portrayal, particularly as regards the war in Vietnam, has been steeped in an anti-American brew, showing our military campaigns (both historical and purely fictional) as one endless war crime. Even some of the milder film and TV productions depict a type of innocent yet effective killing machine. And, naturally, that machine is a white male.

A recent trend, however, is to inject political correctness into the mix, with women and minorities rushing in to save the day. There is an element of truth here, being that women and minorities form an ever-increasing percentage of those in uniform. Yet the unmentionable fact remains: In real life, these supposed heroes are a small fraction of the brawn and brainpower that enables the most daring combat missions to be brought to a successful conclusion.

The Left might derive satisfaction from yet another smear of white men, but the effort has unintended consequences. This is because for most people, the old image of the relentless warrior allows them to sleep well at night, confident in the knowledge that national security is in brave, capable hands. They do not suspect that the army, navy, and air force are being skinned, gutted, and hung on the wall by our legions of multicultural taxidermists.

If I were advising Michael Moore or Oliver Stone on their next America-bashing extravaganza, I would tell them to think twice before producing Brokeback Battalion or Ashley Has Her Baby on the USS Nimitz. Certainly, a tingle will run up the leg of John Q. Liberal when he views the destruction of a hallowed institution, but John Q. Public may very well react with alarm. What do you mean—it’s no longer the gritty Marine sergeant and his grunts tearing up the enemy?

Out here in New Mexico, the flyover country of flyover country, the presence of servicemen both past and present is felt quite strongly. I regularly converse with young men in uniform, and they are serious straight-talkers. It warms my heart to see such quality in an era of boundless decay.

But it breaks my heart to know what the Obama regime thinks of them, and how they are being misused and abused. What does one say these days to a fine teenage lad considering a military career, or even a stint in the service? Should he be encouraged?

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

*******

Nothing irritates a Leftist more than the knowledge that there are still men of this caliber in the armed forces:

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of viewing the exhibits on display at the Monroe Gallery of photography in Santa Fe, New Mexico. One of the last vestiges of quality in a town packed with art galleries, Monroe specializes in the good old stuff: classic photos by Eisenstaedt, Cartier-Bresson, Doisneau, and others at that level.

One wall featured a series by Bill Eppridge covering the Beatles in their heyday. This fine collection of prints was most instructive. Behind-the-scenes shots revealed the arrogance of young men with nothing to recommend them but their hairstyles. Whether sitting, standing, talking, or eating, the adorable new icons radiate an air of condescension and a lack of modesty as they adopt crude, tasteless poses.

Evidently, the time was ripe for a campaign of mind-bending publicity to promote a form of musical entertainment capable of eviscerating traditional culture. Repetitive chords and nonsensical lyrics helped prepare the youth of the Western world for their new station in life: drug dependence, mindless rebellion, hostility to real art, a generalized angst, and subservience to the marketing juggernaut. The new music would become an integral component of the sickly counter-culture, just as painting, literature, and architecture had been put through the meat grinder.

There is nothing new about music being divided into higher and lower forms. The difference is that in the pre-Beatles world, the lower forms were organic expressions of a true culture. A clear example is folk music, which until our era was prevalent nearly everywhere, from the English pub to the hootenanny of the American countryside. It had roots and it had meaning, and its net effect was a strengthening of the human soul.

Admitting the truth about rock & roll and its derivatives has not been easy for me. Although my stereo has emitted nothing but the sound of traditional forms for many years, still, I came of age in the 1970s. It was the apex of the genre: The groundbreaking songs of the 1960s were still very much in the air, and its creators still active, alongside a vast array of fresh hairstyles marketed as the latest and greatest statement of protest and discontent.

Listening to the tunes I heard so frequently in my youth brings back fond memories and feelings. But it also brings back a distinct sensation of listlessness and nervy impatience, and the drive to achieve instant gratification. As if a corner of my spirit has been plunged, irreparably it seems, into darkness and confusion.

This realization has been reinforced of late, as my work has brought me to a place where the familiar chants of the last half-century are heard constantly in the background. I have listened carefully to the lyrics, and have come to a conclusion: It is indeed a miracle whenever a brain subjected to a steady diet of this thumping, nihilistic hogwash is then capable of rational thought to any significant degree.

I have written previously of the need to develop a new cultural aristocracy that can lead the way to the regeneration of artistic and intellectual value. Part of that effort, no doubt, will be to develop new forms of music to wean the masses from their demoralizing addiction.

But wait—should I just mellow out and enjoy the narcotic? After all,

Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever

**********

I was wondering why I never see anything like this in an orchestra:

December 1, 2011

This is the twenty-ninth installment in a continuing series. Here is what life will be like in the year 2020 if our civilization continues to go AWOL:

• Heisman Trophy awarded to third-string halfback at UCLA for “courageously advancing the status of women in college football”
• Black Friday violence declines this year, with only 270 deaths reported
• National debt reaches $100 trillion; Republican congressmen threaten immediate action if President Sharpton refuses to cut spending
• Chinese entrepreneur accumulates worthless dollar bills for use in new board game, “Devastopoly”
• Apple joins Microsoft in relocating headquarters to Singapore; New York Times blames lack of minority presence in Silicon Valley
• Price of gold hits $50,000 per ounce; “Big deal,” says Merrill Lynch CEO Timothy Geithner, “what can you buy these days for fifty grand, anyway?”
• General Motors receives $60 billion government loan to develop solar-powered flying bicycle
• Elena Kagan busted for running page-girl service from her chambers; “my constitutional right to privacy has been violated” protests the Supreme Court justice
• White bread to be phased out by all manufacturers; “it’s both racist and unhealthy, so we win a double victory” declares Food Czar Michelle Obama
• New Hampshire woman arrested for boasting of her lineage from the Mayflower, in the presence of new immigrants from Haiti
• New Jersey man to get electric chair for shooting two of the 75 urban teens who were just having some fun at his auto dealership
• Swiss bid to join EU in jeopardy; strong opposition from majority of member states, including Morocco, Libya, and Egypt
• Archbishop of Canterbury leads mass conversion ceremony in Umma (formerly Trafalgar) Square; “we had rejected Allah, but now we are coming home” confesses the spiritual leader of England
• Twenty-third American correspondent gang-raped this year in an Arab country; journalism grads clamor for assignment to the region
• Occupy Wall Street merges with Green and Communist parties; new movement to be called IYFOS (In Your Face on Steroids)

Would you care to add your own headlines?

[Note: To see earlier installments of “Headlines from the Year 2020," scroll down or click the All Fiction link on the sidebar (located under Orwellian Snapshots).]