In the time we live in, it makes it very easy for me to discount the role that music can play in my life. What I mean by that is how very very easy it is to obtain entire albums, even entire discographies sometimes in seconds, and so when I get that itch to go and find new music, it’s a quick matter of finding band X’s new album Y and clicking on a download link. The music so quickly gets cycled into and then back out of my listening rotation because I have almost no connection to the finding of the music or the experience of hearing it for the first time in a specific context.

For example, certain songs and albums have a very specific memory attached to the first time I heard them, like hearing Radiohead’s Everything in its Right Place over the loudspeakers in a record store so many years ago, prompting me to ask a clerk what was playing, and then buying the CD and taking it home and just sort of absorbing it for what must have been weeks… Or like the first time I heard the band Rose Blossom Punch’s album Ephemere while sitting with headphones on in the control room of the radio station I was working at at the time, in the basement of this house back in St. Helens, Oregon… It can be like finding a hidden treasure, absorbing a sort of audio-spiritual connection through a good pair of headphones. All of a sudden, life seems brand new again through the light shed on it by this discovery.

Years later though, it’s very difficult to maintain a connection like that to any one particular album or song or even artist. If I had to blame any one reason why, it might be the years spent working in the music business, from radio and CD shops to starting my own label and even producing concerts, or it might be the swift advances of technology taking the music business from records and tapes to CDs to MP3 downloads almost entirely within the span of my teen years. I almost feel lucky to be old enough to remember buying tapes and CDs in stores – something I haven’t done in a very long time, since I don’t like the clutter of CD cases, bulk plastic that takes up unnecessary space since I only listen to MP3s now on my computer and smartphones.

I do miss the physical connection to an album’s artwork, the work that the bands and their designer(s) put into reflecting the mood of an album visually. I remember fondly working in one music shop and discussing with co-workers which artwork we liked the best, or even which CD booklet was printed with inks that smelled great. Memories like that make me give credence to the idea that we form strong emotional connections to inanimate objects that we touch frequently. 

In that regard, it gets quite hard to form a real bond to the music that I hear, but lately, I’ve changed the how and the why and when I listen to music, and it’s made a huge difference. For quite a while, I was in a rut of not trying to find new music, not caring about my mindset when I did listen to music, and generally not getting much enjoyment out of it when I did. Now, though, I’ve begun to change that. When I download new music, I make sure it’s something I’m excited to hear – something from an artist I already enjoy, or something from a new artist in a genre I normally prefer. Then, I take the time to listen to it. Front to back, forwards and backwards, even on shuffle. I give the album time to get some traction, not to overplay it, but to learn the words, live in the melodies and feel the rhythms long enough so that the music breathes and the songs get stuck in my head again.

If I’m sitting in front of my laptop working for a few hours, one album will likely be on repeat the whole time while I move pixels around on the screen, slowly getting into my subconscious. If I have a friend or a date over, I’ll put music on that reflects the mood we’re in, something fun if we’re hanging out, something light for a meal, or something soft or sentimental to lay down and relax to. The music then becomes something we connect to collectively, and new memories can be made with a beautiful soundtrack. 

Yes, music is a business, and a terrible one to get into at that, but I’ve tired of being jaded by it. I want to enjoy music, to live in and around it, not just download it, rate it mentally from one to five stars and then go about my day. I know it might seem disrespectful/illegal/etc., but I want to share it, too – to give it away and help others experience and be connected to those same sounds and ideas and feelings, those same hidden treasures I’ve found. 

So, who wants to swap mixtapes?

-h

I’ve been doing a lot more cooking lately, sometimes just for myself, sometimes for other people. I especially love cooking for other people, it makes a meal seem so much more like an accomplishment if someone else gets excited eating it.

I’ve been posting pictures of what I cook up on twitter from time to time(see here, here, here and here). You’ll probably notice a lot of breakfast foods, which is my favorite meal to both cook for and eat. At some point I may start a cooking/recipes blog, but I just haven’t had the drive to do so yet.

I want to fall in love, and tell everyone.
If I ever get married, I want to tell no one.

We were getting into bed that night, when she asked me a question about a topic that caught me by surprise:

“Do you ever miss your parents?”

I paused for a second to think about the question, it seemed a strange topic to bring up casually.

“I used to, but not anymore…” I trailed off, still trying to think of more to say. I laid on my stomach with my head and shoulders on the pillows, staring over the edge of the bed at the floor. “We used to be close, but that was before I knew what they were really like. I’ve gotten to a place now where I don’t hardly even think about them anymore though, which I’m sure is for the best. I just can’t have them in my life anymore.”

Another silent pause, with her laying by my side staring at me, as I still stared at the floor.

“I was her favorite,” was the only other thing I could think of to say.

After another moment, I could feel her adjusting on the bed. When I looked over, I saw she had been crying, and was wiping her eyes.

The overall climate here in Minneapolis is both amazing and horrible all at the same time. The winters, of course, are just plain awful. Constant ice on the ground, nasty-looking black and grey snowbanks lining the streets, regularly sub-zero temperatures, with wind chill that makes even short treks almost completely unbearable, makes this place a long shot from being a winter wonderland. Spring can be nice, although summer so far has been harsh as well, with regular temperatures in the high 80s and 90s, with such high humidity that I’m constantly sweaty and sticky, and feel the need to shower at least 3 times a day, not to mention drink obscene amounts of water.

I love being close to my family here, and have been making a few (hopefully) lasting friendships here as well, but I very much miss being in Portland, where I can feel comfortable walking around almost any time of the year – even in the rain! I miss milder seasons and the beautiful autumns there. Mostly though, I miss my best friends there. For years, especially after my own family moved away, they became my family, and I know that wherever life takes me, they will always be family to me, but I’ve truly felt a major loss in my life having been away from them for almost a year now.

Fortunately, I’m at a place in my life now where what I do for a living is not dependent on where I live, and being single makes a potential move across the country that much more easy, emotionally speaking. I just really don’t want to have to sit through another Minnesota winter, and I really want to be close to those I love back in Oregon again.

Finally, I’ve been working on editing the short film I’ve been talking about on Twitter. I don’t think I’ve announced it on this site yet, but there will be an announcement soon once I’ve procured a domain name and set up a promotional site for the project. Photography has been complete for almost a month now I think, and the editing that’s been completed so far looks amazing.

I’m very proud to have worked with talented actors for this film project who loved the story and were passionate about being a part of the project. There’s not been any decisions made about how/where the film will premiere, as I’m waiting to have a finished product before I know what I feel comfortable doing with it.

For example, there’s been discussion about submitting it to film festivals and having it debut at a theatre or art gallery, but a lot will depend on how confident I am with the film’s quality once it gets closer to being completed. If the gut feeling isn’t there, I’ll likely just release it online. Otherwise, I’ll go all out for it to make sure it gets the best possible launch/exposure, which means it could be a while before anyone gets to see it, even after post-production has finished.

So, stay tuned for more on that as news develops. That’s it for now.

-h

Anyhow, click the image below to visit his site to find out more about Clint. He’s a great guy, very professional, and can play a great mix for your next corporate event, wedding, or club night… consider giving him a call to play your next event, and if you’re looking for someone to build you a website like his, well, get in touch with me through BeIngenius!

Sound intriguing? Check out the welcome post for more info, or check out all of the latest exercises at thoughtid.posterous.com and follow @ThoughtIdentity on Twitter to be updated as new exercises are posted.

-h

(Click the red arrows on the sides of the images to view next/previous.)

Here are some scenes from last night, which had great weather and brought about 10 of us together on the balcony(although not all at the same time) until well after midnight. We even had a short visit from Mark, the ‘squirrel whisperer’(he’s not shown here, but his squirrel is). -h

(Click the red arrows on the sides of the images to view next/previous.)

enjoying some iced tea and sunshine on the balcony with my neighbors. -h

reposted from my posterous, via email.